The Worst Movie Ever!

[Slyfox696]

No, I don't want your opinions on the worst movie ever.

What I AM asking you is if you were to try and make the worst movie ever, but do so using BIG NAME ACTORS, who would you get? What would the story of the movie be?

For example, my lead roles would go to Keanu Reeves and Kevin Costner. The two men would be vying for the same part in a community play, which calls for being a mime by day, and a voice actor by night who gives different voices to different characters. When they both go to audition for the part, they both fall madly in love with their play director, who is Megan Fox. The movie is now set up for 3 hours of (non) hilarity, with both Costner and Reeves trying to mime and use different voices and accents to get a part, while also trying to woo their director, Megan Fox.


Asking Reeves and Costner to be expressive and change their acting style for the different characters would put this movie immediately in the $3 bin at Wal-Mart. Throw in Megan Fox, and you guarantee the worst movie to ever make big money.


This just an example, and created on a whim. But what's yours? Be creative, but "realistic".

 

[Aeon Mathix]

For mine i would get Tom Cruise, Mark Wahlberg, Shia LeBouf (sp?) and Kristen Stewart. The movie would be called "Tom Cruise's Magical Mermaid Carnival". In the storyline, Shia who plays scrawny underappreciated college junior "Greg" receives a txt message on his phone will in class saying Tom Cruise has become a mind control maniac and plans on taking over the world. Greg decides its time to take action and fight back against the man he used to idolize. On his journey he meets a bar waitress turned vigilantee at night time named "The Swan". Now on his journey the swan protects greg from the trouble he faces along the way. Almost to the lair where Tom cruise gathers people which is a carnival, greg thinks he wont be powerful enough to defeat him. But then a wise man named Lucky comes running along asking for a place to hide. The swan and greg agree to hide them for the kids chasing him. Lucky then thanks him and gives him a box which he tells greg to eat. Lucky was originally going to eat it but saw that greg needed it more. Greg asks what will this do? with lucky replying "anything is possible with the magic of lucky charms". Then greg eats it and suddenly gains the courage to stop tom cruise once and for all. Mark Wahlberg only makes a special cameo right before greg is about to finish tom cruise saying to greg "do it" setting up a sequel in which it will be greg taking on mark wahlberg

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'd do a film with lots of comedians, big names ones obviously, like them black guys, the Frat Pack and some of the people from The Aristocrats. I'd give them a basic plot outline and I'd tell them to go for it and do whatever they want. Comedians without any structure could easily make the worst films ever. You've got to reign those ***** in.

 

[jmt225]

Suspense thriller/Buddy Cop film staring Nicholas Cage and Larry the Cable Guy.

Beyonce would also star as Larry's fiance, who at the beginning of the movie gets kidnapped by the main villain in the film, Paris Hilton, who wants Larry the Cable Guy to marry her instead.

In flashback sequences we would see Beyonce, Larry, and Paris all growing up together, and Beyonce and Paris always competing for Larry's affection. While Larry was at the police academy, Beyonce was able to win over his heart by buying him a puppy. Larry would go on to apologize to Paris and let her know Beyonce is the one he's chosen to spend the rest of his life with, and both Larry and B thought after that they would never see or hear from Paris Hilton again. But Paris was actually secretly plotting away to make Larry her's forever, and what she came up with was to kidnap Beyonce the day before their wedding, thus making Larry believe she left him at the alter.

As Paris makes her move on the man of her dreams after the failed wedding, she finds out that he's not convinced Beyonce up and left him, and feels there was some foul play. So he gets the help of his superior and the best cop in town, Nicholas Cage, to help him find his love. And the rest of the film is simply a cat-and-mouse game between Paris, Nicholas Cage, and Larry The Cable Guy, while Beyonce stays secluded in Paris Hilton's basement.

 

[The Best At What I Do]

Some great ideas in here. Don't be surprised if they're stolen by M. Knight Shitmahamalam and given what a twist!

My movie would be about two roommates, Nicholas Cage and Keanu Reeves, who works at a taco stand that gets no business. One day out of boredom they decide to have a spicy burrito showdown. They start stuffing their faceholes with the mexican treat until both their stomachs started churning at the same time. That's right, they got the bubbleguts!

The workplace, being just a stand, had no bathroom. Keanu and Cage looks at each other with those hilarious expressionless faces they do so well and they both know the race is on! The next two hours is full of crazy antics and crazier characters as they try to beat other back home. Whoopi Goldberg makes an appearance as a sassy taxi cab driver and has a sex scene involving both lead actors.

Cage gets home first and already has his pants down as he's waddling through the house. He's moving too fast however and slides right off the toilet seat and into the bathtub. Keanu rushes in and steals the seat and finally releases his mudbutt. The last two hours involve him shitting something unmerciful while Cage sits in the tub screaming "COME ON!" and making that one sad face he knows how to make.