Ascension 96

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Richard Blonoff

Make America Rassle Again
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Connor: Welcome to Ascension 96! Hot off the heels of a newsworthy Meltdown we have Live Mas taking on the newly returning Dr. Zeus and John Doe in our main event!

Cohen: Not only that but both the Eurasian and Elite X champions are in singles action, I haven’t been this giddy in quite some time.

Connor: And with Lethal Lottery almost here who knows what surprises-

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Connor: What is this?

The WZCW World tag team champions Flex Mussel and Ramparte appear on stage to a mixed reaction. They can be seen dressed up to the nines with Flex wearing a suit tie with his sleeves strategically cut to show off his muscles and Ramparte wearing an all-white suit and gloves.

Cohen: I take it you didn’t get your invitation, makes sense considering you were always one of the people doubting the true talent of Cerberus. Well you can no longer doubt them now, after yet another successful title defense on Meltdown they are now the longest reigning tag team champions in WZCW history.

Connor: While that title defense has been marred with controversy I do have to admit Cerberus has indeed made history this week, but that leads to me to question what exactly they’re doing out here now.

Cohen: Oh I don’t want to spoil the surprise, just watch Cat.

The first two heads of Cerberus enter the ring strangely without their title belts or Eve Taylor and soon procure two microphones to address the audience.

Flex: Greetings WZCW universe! I sincerely hope you’re having a fantastic day. I know Ramparte and I are, especially considering all that’s happened for us in the last couple of days.

Ramparte: Yes Flex it has indeed been a remarkable twenty four hours for us. If you haven’t heard and I’m not sure how you wouldn’t, but Cerberus is now the longest reigning tag team champions in WZCW history!

The Catalyst’s comments receive great applause by the audience but there are still some boos mixed in. The champions pay that no mind however as they continue on with their speech.

Flex: Now who would have thought a year ago today we struggled to even get our hands on the tag team titles let alone keep them longer than any other team to ever step foot in this ring; and while most of the people in the back, sitting in this audience, and those watching at home doubted us there are a few that had faith that Cerberus would reach the pinnacle of success. So while Ram and I myself do of course deserve most if not all of the credit for this accomplishment we thought we’d take this time to have a Cerberus celebration to not only congratulate ourselves but the few that help get us to this point.

Ramparte fishes around for something in his pants pocket and eventually pulls out a list that he gives to Flex and both men look at it before addressing the audience again.


Ramparte: Despite all our problems in the past we’d like to thank Young Justice for being great professional rivals. We’d like to thank Los Magnificos Dragones for being a team we aspired to beat so much we ended the career of Amber Warren-

Flex: Apologies for that again babe-I mean…Amber.

Ramparte: We’d like to thank Hard Metal Penetration for showing us that to truly become one of the greatest teams of all time we needed to step our game up to dangerously violent levels.

Flex: We also wanted to thank Everest for giving us our shot in this company and helping prove to the fans that we’re not bad people just…rough around edges at times.

Ramparte: And last but certainly not least we wanted to thank the person who means the most to us and couldn’t be here without. And I think that person knows exactly who they are.

Cohen: How can you not love Cerberus right now, such down the Earth guys, I wonder who they’re going to thank next.

Connor: I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s the third member of Cerberus who helped them retain the belts recently…

Flex: We’d like to thank each other.

Ramparte: Without you Flex I’m not sure I ever would have learned how to conduct myself in a such a cutthroat social environment and thrive to the best of my ability.

Flex: And without you Rambo I’m not sure I ever would have become the wrestler I am today.

Ramparte: Thanks for being my best friend Flex.

Flex: Best friends till the end buddy.

The tag team champions publicly embrace in the ring with some fans applauding and others both uncomfortable and sick to their stomachs.

Connor: Are you tearing up Jack?

Cohen: *Sobbing* No! It’s just so beautiful though…

Ramparte: Flex there’s one thing we’re forgetting though.

Flex: You’re right Ramsy, today is the dawning of a new era. With all the tag teams we’ve killed and the marvelous reign as champions that we’ve had Ram and I thought it would be best to revamp what the WZCW Universe knows as the tag team titles.

Ramparte’s butler Morley can be seen walking down the ramp holding two bulky objects hidden in black cloth. He enters the ring and hands one each to Flex and Ramparte.

Ramparte: We’ve done away with what you used to know, not feast your eyes on the new titles that will now be permanently associated with, the “Cerberus Era”.

The champions take off the black cloth on each title belt revealing the new design for all to see.


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Cohen: Just pure perfection…

Connor: Wow, they’re really going all out here…

Ramparte and Flex ascend the top rope and raise their respectively different looking tag team titles high in the air in celebration. Eventually they come down and meet back in the center of the ring to once again address the audience.

Flex: This wouldn’t be a celebration however if it was just Cerberus in the ring, we’d like to invite out two men who I guess in some sense of the word you can call a team, and also consider themselves to be best friends. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Live Mas!!!!!

[YOUTUBE]OmND5_zHUD4[/YOUTUBE]​

The crowd erupts as Matt Tastic and Mikey Stormrage appear on the ramp and high five fans as they come down the ramp, enter the ring, and procure microphones of their own.

Connor: This should be interesting.

Flex: Gentleman I’m glad you can make it but let’s cut to the chase. Now last week on Ascension my partner Ramparte had an interesting encounter with you Matt Tastic where you said something along the lines of Cerberus has never beaten Live Mas.

Tastic: No they have not.

Flex: Well correct you are amigo, you’re the one team Cerberus has never truly had an encounter with and soon enough that will be rectified.

Mikey & Matt laugh at Flex saying something similar to rectum.

Stormrage:Wow. You guys have changed slightly. You're funny now! This is great! Honestly if this was the Cerberus of a couple months ago we expected you guys to duck us, ambush us and avoid defending your belts.

Ramparte: Well if this was the Live Mas of a couple months ago Tastic would be World Champion and you would be helping him keep the belt.

The crowd lets out a big “OH” as Mikey seems caught off guard by Ramparte’s backhanded insult.


Flex: That was a little disrespectful don’t you think Ram…

Tastic: Well I wonder who he got it from; didn’t you once accuse Haven of selling drugs to adolescent fans?

Flex: Look I’m not going to lie and say Cerberus hasn’t used shortcuts in the past but if you’ve been watching the last year you know we don’t need any extra advantage to crush the competition.

Stormrage: That’s interesting considering that if it wasn’t for Eve Taylor you guys wouldn’t have the won the championships the first time, and you wouldn’t have retained on Meltdown.

The crowd lets out another “OH” as this time it is Flex becoming a bit irritated.

Ramparte: Someone seems a little jealous that there is now decisively a better tag team than Strikeforce. Mad that your one accomplishment is now invalid?

Tastic: Look we’re not denying all that you two have accomplished but we have to question just how instrumental Eve was in the title match on Meltdown.

Flex: Since that seems to be the hot topic in the locker room let us be clear and say that we have no idea why Eve made our match for the titles, nor do we know why she turned her back on elegANT. We haven’t exactly had much contact with her lately, but regardless of that let me assure that with or without her as the opposition, Ramparte and I were walking out with those belts, just like we will at Lethal Lottery.

Tastic: You know I’d be more inclined to believe that if it didn’t seem like you were more preoccupied with Eve and your Russian plaything.

Flex is now visibly angry with Tastic but before he can respond he’s interrupted by-

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Cohen: This is getting so juicy.

Connor: You’re like a teenage girl Jack.

Eve quickly walks down the ramp microphone in hand and immediately gets in the face of Live Mas.


Eve: Let’s get some things straight, what’s happening within Cerberus is none of your business, and if there actually was anything happening do you think I would have helped them retain their belts. The truth is we’ve all just been really busy lately, and while we wish the three of us could cuddle at night like you two do we’ve got priorities. And while Ram and Flex’s is to beat you two and truly destroy the tag division, mine is to beat your former partner Mikey and become the new Elite X champion.


[YOUTUBE]a_426RiwST8[/YOUTUBE]​


The Elite X champion appears on the ramp and quickly enters the ring with microphone in hand.


Howard: Those are some interesting aspirations Eve, and while they are commendable I’m afraid they just won’t happen. Now I could honestly care less about the tag team titles right now but you have a better chance at helping your boys out of another tight situation than beat me for my championship. So why don’t you focus on keeping Flex’s head out of the nether regions of Russia rather than challenge me, it would be a better use of your time.

Howard drops the mic with a cocky smirk and attempts to leave the ring but as he’s halfway between the ropes Eve shoves him off the apron knocking him to the floor. Mikey attempts to stop her from continuing an assault but Ramparte cuts him off and they go face to face. Howard then gets up and pulls Eve by the foot under the bottom rope and the two begin going at it outside the ring. Flex quickly drops his belt to go over and help her but Tastic cuts him off. The bodybuilder then shoves the former World champ who falls back in Ramparte turns around shoves Tastic again which leads to Mikey shoving Ramparte and before we know it Live Mas and Cerberus are all trading blows!

Cohen: Pandemonium I love it!

Connor: We’re definitely going to need to help separating this one.

Becky Serra appears on the ramp directing dozens of security guards to get down there and separate all six competitors as Eve and Howard spill out into the crowd, Tastic and Flex pound away at each other in the corner and Mikey and Ramparte roll around on the floor. Eventually after a few minutes of pure mayhem the security guards separate all six people and Serra has security guards hold back Live Mas and Howard as they forcefully remove all three heads of Cerberus.


Connor: What a chaotic way to start off Ascension, we’ll be back after this break folks.
 
The camera cuts to an office where Vance Bateman and Rebecca Serra are talking to each other.

Serra: But if he can't compete, what are we going to do? This is last year all over again!

Bateman: Just relax, Banks is accessing the situation.

Serra: Relax? How can you tel-

???: Excuse me!

Serra and Bateman turn to see the intrusion of Cassanova.

Bateman: What do you want?

Cassanova: Tonight I am facing a mystery opponent. Information is the lifeblood of the sport. How can I study my opponent if I do not know who it is? I demand that you give me at least a name before I go out there and face the unknown.

Serra: You demand? Get the hell out of my office. It's a surprise you idiot.

Cassanova: How can it be a surprise for me?

Serra: Not for you, the WZCW Universe! GET OUT!

Cassanova walks away disappointed as Serra and Bateman look at each other and shake their heads.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anderson: The following triple threat match is scheduled for one fall!


Vee A.D.Z. comes out from the curtain hopping on one foot. He somersaults into a high jump to a nice reaction from the crowd.

Anderson: Introducing first from County of Crawley, England, weighing 141 pounds, Vee A! D! Z!

He high fives some fans at ringside before climbing into the ring.


Kendrick Xavier rolls out onto the stage on his Hovertrax.

Anderson: Next, from Silicon Valley, weighing in at 215 pounds, Kendrick "The X-Man" Xavier!

Xavier climbs a turnbuckle in the ring, waving his arms to pump the crowd up.


Armando Paradyse dances out onto the stage, replica Mayhem title around his waist.

Anderson: Finally, from Mexico, weighing 250 pounds, The King of Mayhem, Armando Paradyse!

Armando holds his replica title high in the air in the ring before handing it off to a ringside attendant.

The bell rings and Armando rolls to the floor immediately. Vee and Kendrick watch him for a moment before locking up. Xavier gets a side headlock, and tries to take Vee over, but Vee uses momentum to contort his body and land on his feet. A one-footed dropkick sends Kendrick back into the ropes and Vee catches him in a bridging northern lights suplex off the rebound, 1…, the X-Man slips out. Vee quickly heads to the nearest corner and hops up to the second rope. He leaps off and catches Kendrick with a spinning heel kick. The English superstar scrambles to the cover, 1…2, Xavier kicks out again. Vee hopes back to his feet and climbs to the top rope, waiting for Kendrick to get back up. Before Vee can do anything, a chair drills him square in the back, swung by Armando Paradyse. Paradyse shoves Vee to the floor and tosses the chair into the ring.

Connor: Armando has said that he wants to bring Mayhem back to WZCW. This triple threat match, which has no disqualifications, allows him to attempt to do just that.
Cohen: His willingness to take advantage of that gives him a huge step up over the two newcomers he’s facing tonight.

Armando springboards for a crossbody, but is drilled by a European uppercut from Xavier. Paradyse is dazed, allowing Kendrick score with a running leg drop. Xavier hooks a leg, 1…, kick out by Paradyse. The X-Man doesn’t waste any time pulling Armando to his feet, hitting another European uppercut, and then a fisherman’s suplex, holding the bridge, 1…2.., Paradyse gets his shoulder up. Kendrick flips Armando to his belly and lifts him in a surfboard. The self-proclaimed King of Mayhem screams out in pain, but refuses to give up. Neither man notices that Vee has rolled back into the ring. He springboards off the ropes and lands on top of Paradyse with a moonsault, driving both men down onto Xavier. Kendrick rolls to the corner for safety as Vee pins Armando, 1…2…, Paradyse kicks out. Vee climbs to the top, waving his arms to pump the crowd up. He leaps when Armando gets to his feet, planting the Mexican superstar on his head with a super reverse hurricanrana. Rather than going for the pin, Vee climbs once more.

Connor: Vee A.D.Z. is trying to end this right here!

He jumps, attempting the Airborne End. Just before he connects, Xavier manages to grab the chair that Armando threw into the ring earlier and tosses it perfectly on top of Paradyse, crushing him and sending an edge digging into the hamstring of Vee. Vee is unable to make the cover, grabbing his leg out of pain. Kendrick heads over and boots Vee out of the ring under the bottom rope. Xavier picks up Paradyse and hits the X Chip! 1…2…3!

Anderson: The winner of the match, Kendrick Xavier!

The referee raises Kendrick’s hand before checking on Armando and then heading to the floor to check Vee.

Connor: Xavier is having a great showing to start off his WZCW career with not only competing in a Eurasian championship match but also obtaining a victory in this triple threat match.

Cohen: A good showing is fun and all but he's on the path to the Lottery. He'll need to build up some momentum quick smart if he wants to compete in one of the toughest matches on the show. The same can be said for Vee & Armando as well.

Connor: Well, we'll see how these three match up in the L...

Cohen: Who's this guy? Is that a fan?

Someone completely unknown to the WZCW audience walks out into the ring in casual gear and enters it. He holds a microphone in his hand and looks to address a very confused crowd.

Unknown Person: I'm here to deliver a message to the people of Ireland as well as the people across the world. Your saviour is returning!

The crowd begins booing and become turned off by this mysterious person.

Cohen: Who let the preacher in? Where's security?

Unknown Person: However, he is not coming back to save you! You all rejected him when he tried to help each and every one of you but you never listened! You turned your back on him and the day of reckoning shall co-

At this moment, security comes out and disarms the microphone from the preacher. Irish folk cheer for security as they apprehend the unknown person and escort him out of the ring.

Cohen: Thank God! We've got enough crazy preachers around here.

Connor: Amen to that!

We end the scene and switch to commercial as security brings the man through the curtain with the crowd chanting for security.
 
Anderson: The following match is scheduled for one fall!

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Chris K.O. comes out onto the stage, Steve the Volleyball in tow and Eurasian Championship around his waist.

Anderson: Introducing first, from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, weighing 232 pounds, he is the WZCW Eurasian Champion, Chris K.O.!

Connor: We know that Chris’ scheduled opponent, Johnny Scumm, isn’t able to compete tonight, but apparently the Eurasian Champion will still be in action.

Chris hands Steve and his championship to a ringside attendant and waits to find out who he’ll be facing.

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Cohen: You cannot be serious.

Darren Bull comes out onto the stage to a shocked reaction from the crowd.

Anderson: And his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan, Darren Bull!

Darren makes his way toward the ring, posing and gesturing to mostly disgusted women.

Connor: I had a few people in mind for Chris’ opponent, but Darren Bull was definitely not one of them.

Bull climbs up onto the apron, still posing for the crowd. K.O. and referee Katie Shepard both stare with annoyed looks. Finally, Darren climbs into the ring and Shepard calls for the bell. Bull turns around into a Coconut Strike from the champion! Rather than go for the pin, he then locks in the Burning Crusade! Darren is out and the ref calls for the bell!

Anderson: The winner, by submission, Chris K.O.!

Chris gets his belt and Steve from the ringside attendant and celebrates in the ring around the corpse of Bull.

Chris' music begins to die down as an official hands him a microphone through the ropes. With the EurAsian Title draped over his shoulder, Chris begins to speak.

Chris: Thank you, Dublin.

The crowd cheers.

Chris: After facing amazing competition in back-to-back rounds for the EurAsian Title, I must say that tonight was a bit of a breeze.

The crowd laughs.

Chris: With that being said, I am ready to defend this title against the best at any point and anytime. For now though, the water is still unclear if I will be defending at Lethal Lottery, but I want to take this time to announce that I will be in the Lottery Match itself.

The crowd cheers.

Chris: Every year, my placement has gotten better and better in the lottery. Last year, I was the runner-up. There is only one way I can do better than that. Have a good rest of the night, Dublin.

Chris drops the microphone as his music begins to play again. Chris grabs Steve, who is a corner, and the crowd cheers him out of the ring as the show cuts to commercial.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Backstage, Live Mas is in their dressing room. Matt is in his ring gear, Mikey in just a towel. They are making small talk as the cameraman makes his way in. Matt begins twirling a butterfly knife as he speaks.

Matt: Are you ready for tonight?

Mikey is practicing some kicks he learned during his stay with the Shaolin monks.

Mikey: You know it bromosexual. He got all these sweet new kung fu moves to unleash.

As Matt is twirling the knife, it slips from his hand and lands at the feet of Mikey, who bends over to pick it up. His towel falls to the ground, revealing his ample backside. The cameraman starts to quickly exit the room just as Mikey turns to face the camera and give the knife back to Matt.

Matt: They should have taught you to put some damn clothes on. No one wants to see that.

The last thing the camera sees is Mikey flexing with Matt's arm placed conveniently in front of Mikey's adult parts.
 
We go backstage where Leon Kensworth is standing by with Max Steele.

Leon: Max, last week you lost your match against Constantine, meaning you will enter the Lethal Lottery number one. What are your feelings on that?

Max just sort of mumbles until a piece of equipment falls off camera and makes a loud bang. This snaps Max into his super America mode.

Steele: Let me tell you something Leon. Being number one is great. I'll be number one just like America is. Back to back World War champions baby. You're welcome England. USA! USA! USA! USA! I'm coming to kick some Commie ass. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

With that Max starts to lift Leon over his head in a bench press like manner until Backstage Bob walks up wearing a red t-shirt.

Steele: You are wearing red. You are one of those pinko liberal commie sons a bitches. Get back here.

Max starts to chase Bob down the hallway as the camera feed returns to the ring.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anderson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

[YOUTUBE]Um8EEzl42PQ[/YOUTUBE]​

The crowd boos as Cassanova walks out from the back with a book in his hand and glasses on his face. He doesn't take notice of the crowd as Cassanova continues reading, enthralled by his mysterious book. He recites some lines to the crowd as he walks past them but they block their ears.

Anderson: Introducing first, from the Forgotten Library, weighing 200 pounds... "The Bookworm" CASSANOVA!

Connor: It seems our resident librarian has finished taking some time off from WZCW and looks to get back into the swing of things as we approach the Lottery.

Cohen: And much like many entrants in Lottery's past, Cassanova will be taking on a mysterious opponent. Almost as mysterious as that book he keeps bringing down to the ring.

Connor: The GM's wouldn't give up the identity of this unknown competitor so it could be a big one. I wonder if Cassanova is ready?

Cassanova enters the ring, calmly putting down his book and glasses. He takes a deep breath and does a random assortment of stretches to prepare for his opponent. His music dies down and nothing happens. Cassanova approaches referee Elizabeth Prince to see about who it could be but she shrugs her shoulders. Cassanova isn't pleased with the answer and waits impatiently, as does some of the people in the crowd.

Cohen: Well? Who is it?

A few more seconds pass until...

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Cohen: Not him. Anyone but him!

Cassanova looks directly at the titantron with disbelief as the crowd pops for the return of the former Tag Team champion

Anderson: And his opponent, from His Hidden Underground Laboratory, weighing 178 pounds... ALLLLLLLLLHAZRED!

Alhazred walks out from the curtain, completely unshaven and rugged. He has a old stained singlet on with ripped trunks, almost showing some very revealing parts of his body. However, the fans greet him with cheers nonetheless as he stalks his way down the ramp. Cassanova seems to be the only one not impressed.

Connor: Alhazred is back!

Cohen: I thought we finally got rid of him a few months back? We were getting back to normalcy and this maniac comes along.

Connor: We've seen plenty of insane nutcases come through those curtains but Alhazred is on a different level. He's done things that even some of our most sadistic nutcases wouldn't do.

Cohen: The man blew up Antarctica, CC! How this man isn't in prison is beyond me!

Alhazred enters the ring and chuckles to himself because he entered the ring. He goes to put his hand down his pants but referee Prince informs him he has a match and doing such an act could call for a disqualification. Alhazred responds by saying he'll disqualify himself all over her face. Referee Prince says that doesn't make sense but shrugs her shoulders and rings the bell.

* DING DING DING *

Cassanova complains to the referee that he isn't ready and never gave his consent to start this match. Referee Prince is having none of Cassanova's complaints but he continues to argue. Annoyed by his opponent, Alhazred goes up to Cassanova and punches him square in the face. Cassanova clutches his face and is disgusted by Alhazred's actions, exiting the ring immediately. He goes to take some time to recover, bending over as he holds his face. Alhazred follows and stands behind Cassanova, thrusting him from behind. The crowd laughs as Cassanova jumps up, angry about the treatment he is receiving. He goes to attack Alhazred but the mad scientist responds with heart punch, stopping Cassanova in his tracks. Cassanova drops to the ground in comical fashion as Alhazred looks out to the crowd and shrugs, thrusting over the top of Cassanova's fallen body. The crowd is whipped into a frenzy of thrusting.

Connor: Yep, Alhazred is definitely back.

Cohen: What a disgrace to this sport. I've seen some raunchy taunts in my time but none as defiling as this! How he got the crowd into it, I have no clue!

As Cassanova recovers, referee Prince gets to a count of 6 before Alhazred decides to toss Cassanova into the ring, However, the librarian delivers a couple of elbows to the stomach of Alhazred before slamming his head on the apron. Cassanova breaks up the count by entering and then runs the ring, delivering a suicide dive that takes out Alhazred. Cassanova lifts his hands in the air but they boo him.

Cohen: Ah, that's much better.

Cassanova slides Alhazred into the ring and follows soon after, going for the pinfall victory...

... 1
... kick-out by Alhazred.

Cassanova quickly mounts Alhazred and delivers a series of strikes, keeping the mad scientist down. The crowd doesn't react kindly as Cassanova gets to his feet and taunts them, waiting for Alhazred to get up to a kneeling position. Cassanova hits Alhazred with five swift kicks to the chest before delivering an enzuigiri, knocking down Alhazred to the canvas. He rolls over Alhazred and covers...

... 1
... 2
... kick-out again.

Cassanova locks in a front headlock very quickly, keeping the pressure on Alhazred. Referee Elizabeth Prince is in position and ready to call for the submission but Alhazred refuses in some very colourful language.

Connor: Cassanova has been wrestling pretty well in his return, managing to hang with Alhazred in the ring.

Cohen: Exactly! Colour me impressed. Then again, all you have to do is punch Alhazred in the face and you're in my good books.

Connor: Cassanova kicked Alhazred in the face, actually... and it looks like Alhazred is fighting out of the submission!

Indeed, Alhazred is making his way to a vertical base despite Cassanova's best efforts to keep Alhazred grounded. Alhazred delivers a few back elbow strikes to Cassanova's stomach, causing him to let go of the submission Alhazred continues with the back elbow strikes to the head of Cassanova this time, repeating these strikes until Cassanova is knocked silly. Alhazred steps back and delivers a strong right punch to Cassanova, staggering Cassanova to the ropes. Alhazred hurt his hand in the process and shakes it all about like the Hokey Pokey to relieve the pain. However, he remembers he is in a wrestling match and goes after Cassanova. The librarian counters Alhazred's attack by back body dropping him over the top rope... but Alhazred manages to land on his feet on the apron. He prepares himself towards an unsuspecting Cassanova, springboarding off as he turns around and connects with a clothesline. He sees Cassanova in the middle of the ring and begins hitting Cassanova with some fist drops, each one hurting his hand even more. The crowd chants along...

"... 3"
"... 4"
"... 5"
"... 6"
"... 7"
"... 8"
"... 9
"..."

Alhazred stops, putting his damaged hand in the air with an open palm for the crowd. He then tells Cassanova he can't see him *********e and then does a jerking motion with his hand directed at Cassanova before hitting the final fist.

"10"

Connor: The five knuckle shuffle!

Cohen: The what?

Connor: Don't look it up.

Alhazred calls for the end of the match and stalks Cassanova, waiting for him to get up as he looks for the claw. As Cassanova gets to his feet, Alhazred goes for the kill but Cassanova manages to duck and pick both legs of Alhazred, ATTEMPTING TO LOCK ALHAZRED INTO THE BOOK! Cassanova uses whatever strength to do his best to try and get Alhazred in the submission.

Cohen: Cassanova has almost got the sharpshooter locked in! If he gets this, it is all over!

As Cassanova goes to cross the legs, Alhazred uses his leg strength to push Cassanova away and countering the hold. Cassanova drops to a knee before turning around, trying to rush Alhazred... BUT ALHAZRED CONNECTS WITH THE LEVEL 5! Cassanova drops to the canvas with Alhazred dropping down for the pin...

... 1
... 2
... 3!

Connor: Alhazred wins!

Referee Prince signals for the bell and raises the hand of Alhazred as he gets to his feet.

Anderson: Here is your winner... ALHAZRED!

Connor: The returning Alhazred starts off his road to Kingdom Come with a win against the returning rookie Cassanova tonight and despite the appearance, he seems to be on the ball.

Cohen: You can never say Alhazred is on the ball. That sentence makes no sense. Ask the respectable librarian he just unfairly beat. He knows how to grammar.

Connor: Unfairly? None of Alhazred's antics were illegal. He won fair and square. Cassanova did his best but Alhazred was determined to walk out with a win.

Alhazred thrusts his way out of the ring, winking at referee Prince as she attends to Cassanova. Prince chuckles at the gesture before shaking her head and keeping her attention on trying to get Cassanova to his feet.
 
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall!


Garth Black walks out of the gorilla position to a positive reaction from the crowd. He has a bottle of water in his hand as he begins walking down the ramp with a purpose. Suddenly, James Howard runs out of the gorilla position with a steel chair and the Elite X Title wrapped around his waist.

Connor: Look out, Garth!

Howard hits Black from behind. Garth crumbles as he rolls down the entrance ramp. Howard follows him and hits him some more with the steel chair. He does this several times until Garth rolls and crawls to the ringside apron. Howard drops the chair and throws Garth into the ring. Howard unhooks his belt and slides into the ring as well. He yells at the referee to ring the bell to start the match.

Connor: Howard has gone mad!

Cohen: I love this tenacity!

The referee refuses as he goes to check on Garth, who has crawled to a turnbuckle. However, Garth gingerly pulls himself up to a dazed standing position. He shows some fighting spirit by urging the referee to continue on with the match. The referee hesitates, but finally abides by Garth’s request.

*Ding ding ding*


The bell rings and Howard grabs Garth out of the corner where he is and pushes him down on the ring mat. Howard instantly locks on the Tenzan Choke! Garth taps almost immediately. The referee signals for the bell, but Howard won’t break the hold. Finally, Howard releases it after much opposition from the official.

Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner by submission, James Howard!

Howard exits the ring and grabs the chair and his championship. An official hands him a microphone as he returns to the ring where the referee is checking on Black. Howard pushes the referee out of the way.

Howard: Vance Bateman told me that Garth Black needed an instrument to get him into shape. Well, Vance. I found that instrument.

The crowd boos as Howard unfolds the chair. He plants it over the head of Black.

Howard: It’s the same chair that I used to beat Chris K.O. at Gold Rush.

Howard takes a seat on the chair with the Elite X Title draped over his shoulder.

Howard: Speaking of things that piss me off, I have something that I need get off my chest. I am the Elite X Champion, people.

The crowd boos.

Howard: That is fact whether you like or not. And another fact is that despite being a champion, I am being treated with disrespect. Just like at Revolution when I was blindsided by Chris K.O. being my surprise opponent, I too was thrown into a match that favored my opponent last week. That man is the World Champion, Dorian Slaughter. But I proved at Gold Rush and Unscripted that if you put me on an equal playing field with any man in this business, I will defeat them.

The crowd boos as Howard pauses.

Howard: And that includes any woman. Eve Taylor, a lot has happened last round and this round for the both of us, but don’t think I am not focused on our title match. At Lethal Lottery, I am not walking out empty handed. And that’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler.

Howard drops his microphone as he exits the ring. His music begins to play as referees check on Black in the ring.

Cohen: Howard is cutting to the chase tonight. Eve has been so distracted by her dealings with own stablemates, that I don’t even think she has begun to prepare for her Elite X Title shot. If she doesn’t watch out, James will leave her empty-handed after her having such a successful start to the PPV cycle.

The scene cuts to commercial with the last shot being of Howard holding up his Elite X Title on the entrance stage.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In a dim room, with smoke emerging from the floor we see a stretcher standing. In walks The Good Doctor himself. Dr. Zeus. Who very slowly walks by. A figure can be seen on the stretcher as Zeus pulls straps over the moving body.

Zeus: What are names, but labels to differentiate us by?
What is a man, but a creature just living to die?
Man. Woman. Liberal. Republican. Pro-life. Pro-choice. Christian. Atheist. Jewish
Monikers. Labels. Adjectives. Groupings. Divisions. Parties. Masks.
Life or death, the world moves on. In the end, aren't you just a pawn?


Zeus squeezes the straps hard as the scene goes dark.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Leon Kensworth stands by the interview set, mic at hand for an interview.

Leon: Ladies and gentlemen, Leon Kensworth here and at this time, I have the winner of the 3 Way match tonight, Kendrick Xavier!

Kendrick Xavier floats onto the picture and gets off his hoverboard.

Leon: Congratulations. You got the big win over 2 other up and coming prospects. How do feel about picking up a win over 2 men instead of 1?

Kendrick:Well Leon, it was obvious I would win. I am the most well equipped. The most well prepared. And simply the most appropriate. It was simple science, Leon. The better man came out on top.

Leon: With this win on your shoulders, I gotta believe you're now setting your eyes on the big one. Lethal Lottery is coming. I gotta assume that's where your mind is at.

Kendrick: My mind is on Lethal Lottery. Kingdom Come, the next year's Kingdom Come, the one 4 years down the line, Leon, if you want to be the future, you have to think towards the future. And when it comes to that kind of mentality, it's very obvious I am-

Kendrick kicks up his board and grabs it.

Kendrick: A step ahead of the curve. Thank you for your time, Leon.
 
Anderson: And the following tag team main event is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first….

The lights shut off in the arena as the Anderson is unexpectedly interrupted by the weird sounds of rusted metal. After a few more uncomfortable moments of that sound is now accompanied by a single spotlight showing a stretcher that John Doe is tied to, and the sound of rusted metal is his partner Dr. Zeus pushing him down the ramp and to the ring. Thankfully the sound becomes drowned out by Dr. Zeus’ theme being abruptly played over the PA system.

[YOUTUBE]Y0zqLYmhFnw[/YOUTUBE]​

Anderson:…the team of Dr. Zeus and John Doe!

Connor: Well that’s an unsettling sight.

Cohen: Every time I think I’m going to sleep soundly at night I see Dr. Zeus and that all goes away.

Dr. Zeus unstraps John Doe from his stretcher and the recently debuted superstar oddly obeys the commands of Zeus and they both enter the ring and wait in the corner for their opponents.

[YOUTUBE]OmND5_zHUD4[/YOUTUBE]​


The fans erupt almost as loud as they did earlier in the night as Mikey and Matt appear on the top of the ramp, this time looking ready and eager for a fight.


Anderson: And their opponents, the team of Mikey Stormrage and Matt Tastic…LIVE MAS!

Connor: We saw Live Mas earlier tonight come as guests to the Cerberus celebration and things got pretty heated between those four and it didn’t help when Eve and Howard appeared.

Cohen: I thought it was completely disrespectful for those two to ruin what was an amazing celebration party with their petty insults.

Connor: I think both Live Mas and Cerberus are guilty of that.

Cohen: Whatever Cat, Hail Cerberus.

Live Mas enters the ring and the bell sounds as Matt and the recently debuted John Doe start off. John is able to push Tastic back into a corner and begin giving him repeated shots to the midsection until the ref tells him to let up. Tastic uses the slight distraction to throw John into the corner and deliver haymakers of his own. He Irish whips John into the corner and charges at him but his met with an elbow stunning and dazing him. He goes right up to Tastic and delivers a head butt knocking him down and then proceeds to drag him over to his corner and tags in Dr. Zeus. Zeus enters and begins to stomp away on Tastic until he hits a leg drop and quickly goes for the cover 1...2…Tastic kicks out. He picks Tastic up and delivers a Samoan drop and tags John back in. John then delivers a double axe handle from the top rope and goes for the pin 1…2…kick out.


Connor
: The very strange team of Zeus and Doe showing pretty good teamwork so far.

Cohen: Just more proof that Tastic and Stormrage shouldn’t be challenging for the belts.

John picks up Tastic looking to hit a single arm DDT but Tastic gives him a back body drop instead and makes the tag to Stormrage who enters the ring and hits a running cross body on John followed by a forearm knocking Zeus off the apron. John pops right back up and is met with a Samoan Drop by Stormrage. John crawls to a corner looking for solace but Mikey doesn’t let up as he hits repeated corner shoulder thrusts right into John’s body. Zeus enters the ring however to delivers a spinning heel kick right to back of Mikey’s head dazing him. Tastic looks to even the odds but Zeus quickly exits the ring and the ref intercepts Tastic to back him out of the ring. John takes advantage and hits a hangman’s neck breaker and immediately tags in Zeus.

Connor: We may be witnessing the start of a dangerous new tag team.

Zeus goes for the cover immediately 1…2….Mikey kicks out. Zeus then gets on top of Stormrage and delivers repeated shots to head. Zeus then locks in a Dragon Sleeper looking to tap Mikey out but Tastic and the crowd urge for him to fight out of it. Mikey obliges with his partner and the crowd and begins to stand up on his feet but Zeus still has the submission locked in! He uses extremely impressive strength to keep Zeus up and hurl himself backwards towards the ropes causing both men to fall over the top rope! The ref starts to count as both Tastic and John try to urge their partners back into the ring.

1……

2…..

3….

4……

Both men finally start to move on the floor.

5….

Zeus is somehow able to crawl on the apron bug struggles to make under the bottom rope as Mikey begins to crawl.

6….

7….

8…..

9….

Zeus makes it under the bottom rope breaking the count and begins urging his way quickly towards John. Mikey himself then dives under the bottom rope and goes to corner. Both men make the tag at the same time and Tastic springboards off the ropes into a hurricanrana taking John down. He then gives John a vertical suplex, then picks him back up looking to hit the pop up Gutbuster but John counters catching his knees and puts him into a Sharpshooter!


Cohen
: Great reversal!

Tastic begins to scream in pain but the submission hold is quickly broken up by Stormrage tackling John. Zeus runs in to help his partner but is met with a Falcon punch taking him out. John then gets back to his feet and hits a massive European Uppercut of his own Mikey. He sets his sights back on Tastic looking to lock in the Cattle mutilation but Tastic reverses and hits a leaping calf kick sending John back into Mikey who hits a devastating Live Mas slam but doesn’t let go, he instead hands him off to Tastic to hits the Headache driver and hooks the leg! 1…2…3!


Anderson: And here are your winners, Live Mas!

Connor: What a win by Live Mas, do you think they’re ready for the champs now Jack?

Cohen: Eh, we’ll see.

After the match, Matt rolls out of the ring and goes for the mic.

Matt: All right. Cut the chatter. I got something I wanna say. For a couple of weeks now, Flex and Ramparte have been putting me down, including what happened earlier tonight: they've been saying my time on the top is done. And you know what? I'm not a selfish man. They're right. But then they come and brag about being the best tag team in history. Being the true stars of this company. I'm sorry boys, but you're not even the top stars in your own faction. We all know the true top star is the one worth looking at. The one with the flawless skin and breath taking double D's.

Mikey: And even so, everyone knows that as far as great tag teams go, they don't get better than Strikeforce. Cerberus never beat Saxton and Saboteur. The Bearded Gentlemen. Triple R. The New Church. Constantine and Tastic.

Matt:HEY! Point being, you brag a lot. Care to back it up? Mikey here feels like being the first ever 3 time Tag Team Champion. And I feel like becoming the second ever Grand Slam Champion. So boys, Eve may have the rack. But how about you guys confirm that you have the balls? How about Live Mas vs Cerberus for the World Tag Team Championships at Lethal Lottery?



The Big Dogs come out on stage with mics at hand. They raise their titles up high as they speak up. Eve is seen standing in the background.

Ramparte:Not only do you question our manhood, but our fellowship too? I thought our little conversations aided in the respect between one another but it seems I thought wrong and it's going to be a grave mistake for you two; a pair that barely works together.

Flex: The bond we have is far stronger than whatever nonsense you two have. And us holding these titles is the proof of that. You want to put it to the test? That's fine. Just don't cry when you two fail again.

Matt: Fail again? Mikey is a former Eurasian Champion. I'm a 4 time Mayhem Champion. He's a 2 time Tag Team Champion. I'm a two time World Champion. He's headlined PPV's.

Flex: And? So have we.

Mikey:Yup. Because Matt decided to wrestle Ty Burna early.

Matt: BURN!

Eve comes out from the background and leads the charge as Ramparte and Flex drop the titles and follow suit. Matt and Mikey get set for a brawl in the ring when suddenly James Howard appears. He grabs Eve and tosses her to the barricade. In the moment, Matt runs through the ropes with a Suicide Dive and Mikey jumps off the apron on to Flex and Ramparte. All six start to brawl before security runs out and separates them all. Flex, Ramparte, Matt and Mikey are all calm but Eve and Howard try to reach out for each other in anger.

Connor: Howard wanted to get the jump on Eve like he did to Garth Black. He triggered a massive brawl instead... how many times are these six going to go at it?


Cohen: And I never thought I'd see it, but Tastic and Stormrage actually took advantage of that. What an odd situation here. What's gonna go down now? It's a total criss cross.

Connor: Something has got to give between these six but for tonight, we are out of time. Thank you for joining us! See you next time in Wales!

The show ends with everyone being held back. Eve and Howard still trying to pull themselves away.
 
WHO WROTE WHAT:

Dynamite - Opening, Live Mas vs. Doe/Zeus
FalK - Cassanova vs. ??? + Segments & Editing/Formatting/Fixes (stupid mistakes)
Kermit - Black vs. Howard + Segments
Killjoy - Ending + Segments
Thriller - KO vs. Scumm & Triple Threat
Yaz - Segments

We deeply apologise for the delay.

The next round's deadline will be different due to the delay as well as the shows being posted. The Lethal Lottery round will also be affected but since we'll need an extra day or two to write the Lottery match, everything will work itself out for the Kingdom Come cycle and we'll be back to the regular Tuesday deadlines... we hope. Not exactly great at keeping schedules these days, are we? There is always next year, right?

Boards will be out sometime today. Thursday deadline... maybe Friday.
 
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