Anderson: The following contest is schedu-
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Connor: I.... What?....
From the entrance ramp, out happily skips Diabolos, wearing bear onesie footie pajamas. He skips out to a initially boos... And then a completely silent crowd, baffled by what they are witnessing. He carries a picnic basket in hand, and skips out towards the ring, tossing little pieces of food to a stupefied audience.
Cohen:... What.... What is he doing?
Connor: Oh good, I'm not the only one seeing this. I was worried someone had been messing with my brownies again.
Selena Anderson watches in complete awe, as Diabolos skips around the ring. He stops, to set down a checkered picnic blanket at ringside. He begins to skip around, and notices a small boy in the audience wearing a Grizzly Bob hat, complete with furry bear ears. The crowd boos, as Diabolos points to the young WZCW fan. He makes his way over towards the audience member... Before he is ambushed by Grizzly Bob, who jumps from the audience to attack Diabolos! Security officers try to pluck Bob away from Diabolos, but Bob has already mounted a fallen Diabolos, and is raining down thunderous punches on Diabolos. Bob picks up Diabolos, and runs him into the steel turnbuckle post, before he screams to the crowd, which roars out in approval. Bob then runs Diabolos head into the steel steps, at least half a dozen times, and throws him into the barricade! He gives Diabolos an avalanche, and sends him crumbling to a heap! He goes to look to the audience... And indicates that is time to pull off the mask of Diabolos. He starts to grab at Diabolos mask, and slowly tugs, with Diabolos unable to fight off.
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Banks: Bob, stop, stop! Stop, this very moment!
A ruffled Mr. Banks rushes out to the entrance way, to stop Grizzly Bob's onslaught. Bob stops, and looks around to the entrance way.
Banks: Don't you dare move another muscle, and take your hands off of Diabolos!
Bob lets go of Diabolos mask, as the crowd boos.
Banks: Bob, this asylum will not be run by the inmates any longer. Two weeks ago, Mikey Stormrage maliciously assaulted a countless number of WZCW stars, hijacking our show in the process. I let him off with a suspension and a warning, in the hopes his behavior would not be repeated. And of all people, you, Bob? You're the one to do this? I'm afraid I can not tolerate these actions; I need to make an example out of you.
Bob places his hands on his hips, as he awaits whatever bad news Banks is sure to dole out.
Banks: If you'd like Diabolos, you can have him, at Unscripted. And I'll do you one better, Bob, I'll make it no holds barred match!
The crowd loudly cheers this, as Bob pumps his fist. Diabolos stills lays unconscious, on the ground,
Banks: Be careful what you ask for though, Bob. Because if you lose this match... You will be fired, immediately! You lose this match, and you will never set foot in a WZCW ring!
The crowd loudly boos this, as Bob looks on, and nods. He looks down at Diabolos, still a heap on the floor.
Banks: And may this serve as a lesson to anyone willing to try and hijack my shows. Now, get the rest of the contestants for the next contest out, immediately!
Banks' music plays him out, as Bob stares a hole into him. Illapa can be seen walking down the entrance way, her music playing in the background. Anderson can be heard saying.
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Anderson: And his... Partner?.... now residing in Texarkana, Arkansas, weighing 225 pounds, The Goddess, Ilapa!
Connor: Jack, can you believe the bombshell just dropped there? Bob's job is on the line at Unscripted?
Cohen: He's lucky he didn't wind up in prison, like his thug buddy, Blade. Maybe when he's fired, he'll turn to a life of crime.
Connor: We'll be back with this tag team match... If we can even have the tag team match, I don't know what we're going to do about this!
Illapa enters the ring, as the crowd boos, and Terrence Howe tries to corral her. On the floor, the camera pans to an unconscious Diabolos, as we go to commercial.
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When the camera cuts back, Hyada and Haven are entering the ring together, and climb the top ropes.
Anderson: Their opponents, at a combined weight of 416 pounds, Jonathan Hyada and Haven!
The two flip off of the ropes and perform somersaults, landing in the middle of the ring, and getting face to face. They shake hands, as Hyada performs a jumping spinning kick, and Haven ducks, delivering a leg sweep where Hyada has jumped. Hyada lands, and Haven stands back up, where Ilapa is alredy charging towards them. She connects with a clothesline to both men, and sends them down to the canvas, as James Aubrey calls for the bell.
*Ding, Ding, Ding*
Connor: And ladies and gentlemen, Ilapa has decided she's going to start this match before it's even begun!
Cohen: Can it, you nit! Ilapa is kind of working at a disadvantage here!
Connor: Well, you have to imagine Hyada is working at a disadvantage, already attacked before his match tonight, but you don't see him starting before the bell!
Ilapa grabs Hyada by the head, who meets her with punches in the solar plexus. Hyada fights Ilapa away, and hits a vicious hook kick, right to the side of Ilapa's face. Haven makes his way to his corner, as Hyada begins to throw punch combinations at Ilapa. He then hits an uppercut, that sends Ilapa reeling.
Connor: Hyada looks to be using his martial arts more in this match.
Cohen: I wonder how much that dingus Haven has been in his ear.
Ilapa has been backed into a corner, and Hyada hits corner punches, some to the stomach, and some to the face. Diabolos is finally struggling to get to his knees, but to little avail. Hyada climbs the ropes, and screams out to the crowd. He starts punching, as the crowd starts to count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
But it stops at eight, as Ilapa carries Hyada to the center of the ring, and lands with an inverted atomic drop. Ilapa then manages to cradle up Hyada, and rolls him around the mat, circling the ring before cradling Hyada for a cover.
1..
2...
No, kick out at two!
Ilapa pounds the mat in frustration, and locks in a seated abdominal stretch. Hyada screams out in pain, as Ilapa attacks Hyada's already injured ribs. Haven claps for Hyada, as the crowd begins to rally support for Hyada. But as they're stuck in the middle of the ring, Hyada will need to reverse the hold. He begins to tuck himself into a ball, and rolls towards his corner, which results in a pinfall!
1...
2..
No, just a two count!
Hyada, however, is broken away from the stretch, and lunges toward his partner, to make a tag. Haven is in the ring, which causes the crowd to cheer, as Haven climbs the ropes. He hits a spinning wheel kick from the top rope, and Ilapa crashes down to the ring. Ilapa lays on the ground, as Haven bounces off of the ropes, and hits a flipping senton splash. Hyada goes for a cover,
1...
2...
Just barely two!
Ilapa kicks away Haven, and connects with an explosion suplex, as Terrance Howe cheers on from the floor. But as she cheers on, he notices someone creeping up to the apron, right next to him. Diabolos had finally made his way up to the apron, and is ready to fight.
Cohen: At last, backup for Diabolos!
Ilapa picks up Haven with a flapjack lift, hotshotting Haven into the ropes. Ilapa bounces off of the ropes herself, but is slapped on the back by Diabolos!
Cohen: That moron, what is he doing?!
Ilapa stares at her opponent, who stumbles into the ring. Ilapa decides to backhand Diabolos, which sends Diabolos back to the ground. Enraged, Ilapa decides to leave the ring, leaving Diabolos all alone! Howe chases down her client, as Diabolos bumbles to his feet. He slips on his footie pajamas, and Haven catches Diabolos' head! He hits Iron Justice, and locks up Diabolos for the cover!
1...
2...
3!
Hyada and Haven celebrate together in the ring, as Diabolos lays in the ring.
Anderson: The winners of this match, Haven and Jonathan Hyada!
Connor: And 2014 may be the year of Havenada!
Cohen: Year of Havenada?! How about the year of Diabolos messing up his tag team partners!
Haven raises the hand of his partner, as they climb the ropes, to the approval of the audience.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We go backstage where Saboteur is seen pacing back and forth with Backstage Bob.
Bob: Are you sure this will work?
Saboteur: Of course I'm sure. After seeing that creepy Olympic mascot I know what I have to do.
Cohen: This can't be good. They are coming out here now.
After a few moments Saboteur and Bob wheel a cage to ringside, followed by a large portion of the roster who are curious as to what is going on.
Ladies and gentlemen, I, Saboteur, will prove humanity still rules over robots, and I rule over all my opponents in the Hell in a Cell, by wrestling a bear!
Bob pulls the curtain to reveal a bear inside the cage. Much of the crowd and roster gasp, Ricky Runn upon seeing the bear immediately runs as quickly as possible. As Saboteur opens the cage he slaps the bear a few times. He begins to gain a little confidence.
You're just nothing but a dumb bear. I'm coming with crazy fists, coming in with crazy fists.
Saboteur turns his back on the bear and begins to taunt to his fellow wrestlers. Suddenly the bear shoves Saboteur aside and runs out of the cage and through the roster. The bear barrels over Ace Stevens, taking him down. As Saboteur starts to get to his feet, Vega steps in and pulls his gold plated Desert Eagle, aiming at the bear. The bear rises to his feet and smacks the gun away before knocking Vega to the ground with a paw. As the bear runs backstage, Saboteur scrambles to grab a mic.
Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat! Cover your sodas! Bears love sugar! Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears!
Cohen: Ladies and gentlemen we need to go to commercial!
