Anderson: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall!
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The crowd boos as the chorus of the national anthem billows throughout the arena. Victor Makarov soon appears from behind the curtain and proudly places a hand over his heart, dipping his head in respect for the anthem.
Anderson: Introducing first, from Moscow, Russia, weighing 311 pounds, The Mauler of Moscow, Victor Makarov!
Connor: Victor made a very impressive debut on Meltdown 111 by winning a Triple Threat encounter including the mammoth Aussie Bruce Irwin.
Cohen: Definitely a force to be reckoned with and he's only had one match. Tonight, he gets a step up in competition for his efforts.
He gets into the ring and shoots a look of venom through the crowd before staring down the top of the ramp.
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The crowd continues to boo but even louder as the former World champion The Beard slowly staggers out from the curtain. He is visibly angry as he makes his way down the ramp, locking eyes with his tag team partner.
Anderson: And his tag team partner, weighing at 285 pounds; The Beard!
Beard enters the ring and goes up to Victor, where the two take a good look at each other before Beard walks past Victor. The two massive competitors ignore the other, focusing their attention at the ramp.
Cohen: A silent brawler and an enraged monster teaming up together. I don't care how great of a tag team you are, this is going to be an extremely difficult test.
Connor: I understand the frustrations about losing the World championship match at Kingdom Come but targeting Theron Daggershield with brutal attacks to vent all because he lost the following match to him?
Cohen: A matter of wrong time, wrong place.
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The crowd begins cheering loudly as both elegANT and El Califa Dragón make their way out together, with Califa nodding his head to the beat but clutching his body in slight pain. elegANT, does his best at mimicking his partner as he follows behind.
Anderson: And their opponents, first, from the lap of luxury, weighing 179 pounds, the gentlemanly insect and friend to all, elegANT! And his tag team partner, from Culiacan, Mexico, weighing 180 pounds, El Califa Dragón!
Instead of rushing down the ramp, the two competitors walk down whilst discussing strategy as they look at the mass of humanity that awaits them in the ring.
Connor: If the opposing team isn't enough, El Califa recently fell victim to an attack by The Elite whose aim was to ambush the World Heavyweight Champion. El Califa was only attacked by association with the champ, another case of wrong time, wrong place. Despite only being 24 hours removed from the attack, El Califa looks to be in good shape.
Cohen: But he's not at 100%. elegANT & Califa need to play this very intelligently if they want to get the victory. Keep to the skies and make sure to take as little damage as possible, if they can get there.
El Califa & elegANT nod at each other before sliding into the ring, staring at Victor & Beard. Referee Elizabeth Prince makes sure to stand in the middle of the two teams, keeping her eyes more focused on the big men. El Califa & elegANT quickly come to a decision, giving the gentlemANTly competitor the starting position to allow Califa to rest himself. They discuss some last-mintue strategy whilst Beard & Victor turn to each other without saying a word. After a couple of seconds, Victor nods slightly and gets onto the apron. Prince signals for the bell.
* DING DING DING *
elegANT asks his partner if he is okay once more. Califa warns elegANT of the charging Beard, who runs at him with full steam. elegANT manages to evade the contact, keeping on his toes as Beard turns around. elegANT hits Beard with a forearm smash, not affecting Beard all that much. Beard tries to grab the gentlemANT but he ducks, springboarding off the ropes with another forearm smash. Beard staggers slightly, giving elegANT an opening to quickly climb the top turnbuckles. He dives onto Beard for a crossbody but Beard catches him. He uses his power to push elegANT up into the air for a Gorilla Press Slam, dropping elegANT as he comes crashing into the canvas.
Beard checks his face, none too impressed with elegANT's attempt to attack him. elegANT tries to get up but Beard helps him, shoving him into his own corner. He approaches, hitting a series of repeated elbows on elegANT before following up with a shoulder barge. Victor tags himself into the match blindly, causing Beard to stare at Victor for a moment. The two giants stare off before Beard accepts going onto the apron. Victor turns his attention to elegANT and goes to pick him up but elegANT manages a couple of ground kicks to the shin of Victor before delivering a jawbreaker. elegANT runs the ropes but the Moscow Mauler comes back with a running shoulder tackle, taking down elegANT. He covers...
... 1
... 2
... kick-out by elegANT.
Connor: Not a great start from elegANT. He's being manhandled by these two big men who are working on the same page thus far.
Cohen: He'll need to tag out in the worst way very shortly if this continues.
As elegANT tries getting to the ropes, Victor keeps him in position by tactically stomping various exposed body parts. He follows up with a falling headbutt to elegANT, covering him again...
... 1
... 2
... kick-out by elegANT.
Victor stares daggers at referee Prince who does her best to convey that it is only two to the silent Russian. He stays on his knees and picks up the head of elegANT, delivering headbutt after headbutt to the fallen competitor to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Victor gets to his feet and follows up with a running leg drop, looking to put away elegANT...
... 1
... 2
... El Califa intervenes, breaking up the pin.
Referee Prince does her best to admonish Califa for his actions, sending him to the corner. Victor walks up to Califa who is on the apron, staring at him as if to dare him to make another move. Califa folds his arms, looking at Victor as the mauler turns to elegANT who is trying to pull himself up in the corner.
Cohen: That's just going to enrage Victor should Califa come into the ring against him.
Connor: What else could he do to ensure the match keeps going? El Califa wasn't going to let the match end so soon.
Victor charges, going for a belly splash but elegANT slides out of the way at the last second. The Russian reels out of the corner, holding his sternum as elegANT manages to climb to the second turnbuckle and hit a missile dropkick on Victor, sending him back. Califa reaches out as elegANT looks to go for a tag. Victor shakes it off and recovers but elegANT makes it to Califa. Victor stays in the match - as much as Beard may hate the decision- and looks to take on the veteran.
El Califa jumps up to the top turnbuckle, hitting a top rope thrust kick that sends Victor backwards and making separation. El Califa recovers, running the ropes and hitting a spinning headscissors, sending Victor straight to the corner. Califa pops up and goes to the corner, hitting the violent flurry on Victor and lighting him up multiple strikes. The crowd cheers as El Califa steps back, looking for the roundhouse to finish the combination up. Victor evades the attack, hitting a twisting clothesline to knock down El Califa. Victory shakes himself off from the attacks of El Califa, walking around the ring. Beard manages to reach out, blindly tagging himself into the match. Both men stare at each other once more before Victor slowly gets on the apron.
Connor: Neither man wants to stand on the apron and watch the other fight. If they keep tagging themselves in, this team may implode.
Cohen: Might be Califa & elegANT's only chance at this point. elegANT has taken a beating and Califa is still hurt from the ambushes.
Califa gets to his feet and Beard is there, hitting him with a back kick. Califa grabs his stomach as Beard bear hugs Califa, looking for a belly-to-belly suplex. Beard goes for the throw but Califa transitions the move into a hurricanrana, holding on for the pin...
... 1
... power-out by the Beard.
As Beard gets up, Califa looks for a springboard sunset flip...
... 1
... 2
... another power-out by Beard.
Beard becomes highly angry at being bested by a hi-flier, looking to run at Califa with a swinging shot but Califa evades, looking for a springboard moonsault. Beard catches him however and hits a powerslam, driving Califa into the canvas. Califa clutches himself as he tries getting up with Beard looking on, measuring up Califa. He runs the ropes, looking for a running crossbody but Victor tags himself again. Beard stops and looks directly at Victor as he gets into the ring. The two men stare intently at each other, Beard upset with another blind tag. Victor stands as if to dare Beard to do something. All the while, Califa crawls to tag to his partner elegANT.
Cohen: Turn around guys! There is still a match going on.
elegANT gets the legal tag from Califa, charging at the two men and hits them with a stinger splash. Victor knocks into Beard, smacking him into the corner. elegANT looks to measure Victor, running the ropes and going for a jumping knee lift on Victor. He leaps up Victor but the mauler catches him and pushes him backwards. elegANT is quick to recover but before he can do anything, VICTOR HITS HIM WITH MOTHER RUSSIA. elegANT is knocked out as Victor goes for the cover...
... 1
... 2
... 3!
Referee Prince signals for the bell with the crowd booing.
Anderson: Here are your winners; The Beard & Victor Makarov!
Beard recovers from the corner and stares directly at Victor who gets his hand raised. Beard looks over to both elegANT and Califa who are on the ground before looking at Victor, a little happier from seeing the damage done. Victor looks at Beard for a few more seconds before exiting the ring, walking up the ramp with his hand over his heart as the Russian anthem plays. Eventually, Beard exits the ring as well, not bothering with Califa or elegANT. Califa, who has some life, crawls over to elegANT to check on him.
Connor: Another impressive victory for Victor Makarov. The team with The Beard and himself weren't exactly a functioning unit but they got the job done.
Cohen: elegANT couldn't mount any offense and Califa's momentum didn't last long enough to put away these two big men. Knowing how angry Beard is and how menacing Victor is quickly becoming, I'm surprised they left them in the ring to their own devices.
Connor: Just like any good competitor, they'll dust themselves off in no time at all and... wait a second, what's Veejay doing out here?
Sneaking through the crowd, Veejay slides into the ring and tosses El Califa to the side before picking up elegANT. The crowd boos as Veejay hits the Victory Lap on elegANT, laying him out in the middle of the ring. Veejay escapes before El Califa has a chance to defend him. Veejay has a shit-eating grin on his face as he backs up the ramp, proud of his work.
Connor: What was that for?
Cohen: Veejay is making a statement. He wants to make sure that elegANT and Veejay are not friends or allies, no matter the circumstances.
Connor: But why attack him? Why attack a man who is only being chivalrous?
Cohen: elegANT is being a pest to Veejay and these constant attacks are done in an attempt to exterminate elegANT from his life. It's a very simple concept that elegANT just doesn't seem to understand.
Veejay heads through the curtain as Califa does his best to get up whilst picking up elegANT off the canvas with the help of referee Prince, who is checking up on him.
The ring is cleared as everyone clears out as we set straight for the next match.
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Connor: What the hell?
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from North Korea's Internet Server, this is Crashin Claus!
Cohen: Pfft. From where?!
Doug- I mean "Crashin Claus" appears on stage being pulled on a sled by Armando Paradyse and Barrett Stratton to the ring. He rips up signs from the fans on his way down to a chorus of boo's.
Connor: Dear God, what is this?
Cohen: At least it's not a Miracle on 34th Street Fight, Seabass.
Connor: A what?! And why did you call me "Seabass"?
Crashin Claus: No No No! No holidays allowed here, boys and girls. Christmas is officially canceled. Under my orders, it's cancelled. Or else we will make you all watch Transformers 4 over and over on the Tron. For days on end.
Cohen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Connor:This is madness! We can't just give in to his demand! Someone stop him.
Crashin: Mwuahahahahahahaaaa!! You know what? I'll make you watch it anyway! Hahahahahahaa!!
Crashin Claus pulls out a remote and presses it to start the movie.......
...........But the entire arena goes black.
Connor: Did.... Did the power go out?
Cohen: What an idiot. But thank Go-
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Connor: WHAT?!
Anderson: And his opponent..... From Los Angeles, California by way of the North Pole..... He is St. Everest!!
St. Everest marches down the ring clad in a Santa suit tossing gifts to the fans. The bunch of Santas from Meltdown also appear throughout the arena spreading gifts as The Pinnacle Of Christmas Perfection enters the ring. Crashin tries to talk, but St. Everest opens fire right away!
*Ding Ding Ding*
Everest lays down a flurry of fists on Crashin before whipping him across the ring. He elevates the evil export from North Korean internet overhead with a hard Back Body Drop before taking off his coat to an extremely loud pop. Crashin aches around the ring as Barrett Stratton gets in and tries to get the jump on St. Everest. But he's met with a Fallaway Reverse DDT.
Cohen: This St. Everest is Hall Of Fame material! Go get 'em and save Christmas!
Connor: And the other holidays too.
Armando Paradyse tries his luck and tries to tackle St. Everest. But he ducks out of the way and then hooks a Fisherman Suplex on the "Peurtorican Nightmare". He plays to the crowd as Stratton and Crashin get to their feet. St. Everest rushes toward them but he gets elevated high. They seem ready to slam him, but he maneuvers it into a DDT and plants both of them! Paradyse gets up and St. Everest launches him out of the ring sending him crashing into the sled outside. He does the same to Barrett Stratton as Crashin Claus wobbles back to his feet.
Connor: I feel it. I feel what's coming, Jack.
Cohen: The Snow Slide!
St. Everest hooks the arm of Crashin and powerslams him down hard and hooks the leg!
1........
2...............
3-NOO!
But St. Everest actually lets the cover go! He gets to his feet and points as if he just got an epiphany. He grabs the evil export by the hair and locks a Dragon Sleeper.
Connor: The North Pole Climber!!
And Santa Crashin taps out!!
Anderson: Here is your winner.... St. Everest!!
As he gets his hand raised, snow begins to rain in the arena as the crowd cheers on loudly. He plays to the crowd as the three bodies lie motionless across. Several girls can be seen hitting Barrett Stratton with giant candy canes. Armando Paradyse is showered by balls in the sled. And Crashin has no balls. St. Everest grabs a mic amid the holiday chaos and speaks up.
St. Everest:
Happy Holidays, WZCW!! Ho ho ho!!
