Harrys: The following contest is your main event, and it is for the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship!
The crowd roars in anticipation as the night’s main event is about to unfold.
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Ricky Runn comes out from backstage, arms raised as he greets his adoring fans with all the warmth he can muster on this spectacular Christmas evening. The crowd doesn’t feel return the love, and starts slinging boos at the swagtastic superstar. Behind Ricky is his now infamous Swag Pack: Hollywood Jameson, Joe Mason, and Donny J.
Harrys: Introducing the challenger, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 225 pounds, "The Swagtastic voice of a generation", Ricky Runn!
Cohen: Our future world champion has entered the building! And he brought all his friends with him to see him achieve the grandest prize in professional wrestling: The WZCW World Heavyweight Championship!
Connor: Since when are you a fan of Runn, Jack?
Cohen: Since he gave me my Christmas present!
The camera cuts to the announce table where Jack Cohen holds up his present from Ricky Runn, an Ed Hardy Santa hat.
Cohen: You know, he may be onto something with this swag stuff. I look fantastic in this thing.
Copeland: Fantastic isn’t the word I’d choose…
The Swag Pack hops onto the ring apron and Joe Mason holds open the rope for Ricky Runn. Hollywood Jameson and Donny J offer Ricky a hand and help him up to the apron. He climbs through the ropes and heads to the middle of the ring where he rubs his hands together and blows into them. When he pulls his hands apart, a cloud of glitter flies above the ring, covering Ricky as well as parts of the mat in sparkles.
Connor: Oh man, that’s going to take forever to get out!
The crowd continues to boo as Ricky Runn and his Swag Pack huddle in the far corner, but the audience starts to quiet down as they anticipate the arrival of their World Champion.
…
...
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The crowd roars before Barbosa even enters the arena, and their volume doubles when The Ultimate Inmate explodes onto the stage with a ton of energy. He lets out a primal roar as he hoists the title belt above his head. He brings the belt down, and then looks down at his feet as he starts to shuffle towards the ring.
Harrys: And the champion, from Bedlam, weighing 237 pounds, he is your WZCW World Heavyweight Champion… Barbosa!
Copeland: As we begin our last match of 2013, we get to see perhaps the top star of the year: Barbosa.
Cohen: Top star? He just won the title like, a week ago!
Copeland: His reign is young, but it began when he overthrew one of the most successful WZCW Champions of all time in Showtime, and Barbosa has shown no signs of slowing down.
Barbosa slows down as he approaches the ring. He takes a deep breath, and suddenly gets a second wave of energy! He jumps from the floor to the ring apron, and then vaults over the top rope. He ascends the nearest turnbuckle and thrusts the WZCW Title into the air, eliciting a huge cheer from the crowd.
Crowd: BAR-BO-SA! BAR-BO-SA! BAR-BO-SA!
Barbosa climbs down from the top rope and turns around… but he’s blindsided by a charging Hollywood Jameson! Barbosa crashes to the floor and is pounced on by Hollywood Jameson. The rest of the Swag Pack isn’t far behind, and soon all three men are stomping away at Barbosa. The ref tries to put an end to the assault, but Donny J shoves the ref back and continues to stomp on Barbosa.
Copeland: What the heck is going on?! This is a world championship match and Ricky Runn and his Swag Pack are making a mockery of it!
Cohen: Barbosa has already made a mockery of that championship belt! Ricky Runn will do whatever it takes to win the title and then he can worry about restoring its prestige!
But Barbosa isn’t about to take this affront lying down. Barbosa explodes to his feet, sending the swag pack stumbling backwards. The champ starts swinging for the fences, hitting all three members of the Swag Pack with punches in succession. Donny J, Joe Mason, and Hollywood Jameson can’t seem to regain control from the feral Barbosa, and they pay the price when Barbosa finally drops Joe Mason with a roaring elbow. As Mason hits the canvas, Donny J and Hollywood Jameson finally recover enough to grab a hold of Barbosa’s arms and pin him against the rope nearest the entrance ramp. Barbosa struggles to break free, but the two fiends have him exactly where they want him. Joe Mason make his way to his feet and walks over to Barbosa and slaps him across the face. Barbosa is staring razor sharp daggers at Mason, but he’s helpless to do anything other than watch as Joe Mason runs at the opposite rope and rebounds, hurdling towards Barbosa at extraordinary speed. Mason is about to connect with a jumping crossbody, but Barbosa gets his foot up and drops Mason with a big boot! The tripolar star continues to turn the tide as he breaks free from captivity and stuns both Donny J and Hollywood Jameson with throat thrusts! He takes a few steps back, but then charges at the duo and sends them over the top rope with a double clothesline! As Barbosa turns his attention to him, Joe Mason begins to plead with the monster of a man, begging on his knees for Barbosa to spare him. Barbosa is familiar with many concepts, but mercy is not one of them. He grabs Mason by the hair and pulls him up to his feet. Barbosa starts running towards the rope, holding Mason by the arm and back of the neck, and with one mighty heave he throws Joe Mason over the top rope and sends him crashing into Hollywood Jameson and Donny J!
The ring is clear, the match is ready to begin, and the bell rings!
Connor: This match is finally underway, but can Barbosa recover from that vicious attack?
Barbosa doesn’t seem to notice that the bell has rung as he shares a few last words with the downed Swag Pack. Suddenly, Barbosa is flipped on his back with a roll up pin from Ricky Runn.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Copeland: NO! NOT THREE! Barbosa kicked out at the very last instant!
The ref waves off the three count and the match continues!
As though the pre-match assault wasn’t enough, Barbosa finds Ricky’s pin attempt to be yet another insult to his dominance. Barbosa stares down Runn, and Runn can do nothing but retreat into the nearest corner as Barbosa pressures him back. Trapped with nowhere to go, Ricky climbs up the top rope in an attempt to escape the ring, but Barbosa grabs him by the legs, causing Runn to be stuck upside down hanging over the top rope. The ref starts to count for the rope break, so Barbosa delivers a stiff kick to the upside down head of Ricky Runn before pushing him over the top rope. Runn falls on the apron and lays there for a moment before rolling back into the ring and takes a few moments to recover from the kick.
Cohen: Come on Ricky, you have the advantage right now! The longer you take to recover, the more time he has to recover!
Connor: Yeah, from the illegal beatdown he received before the match started!
Barbosa and Ricky meet each other in the middle of the ring and enter a collar and elbow tie-up. Barbosa gains the advantage very quickly and uses the advantage to throw Ricky Runn against the ropes. Barbosa ducks the first rebound and Ricky jumps over him and continues to the far rope, but instead of rebounding off of it, he springboards off of it and performs a springboard moonsault… but he’s immediately caught by Barbosa! The champ carries Runn around on his shoulders for a few moments as he appears to set something up… but Ricky Runn slips out of it and gets Barbosa in a reverse headlock! He drops Barbosa’s neck into his knee, and then hits a neckbreaker for good measure. Ricky rolls over for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out!
Ricky immediately springs back to his feet and hits the nearest rope, rebounding and dropping a hard elbow into Barbosa’s gut. Barbosa sits straight up and Ricky hits the ropes again, this time using his momentum to hit Barbosa with a vicious dropkick. He makes another cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out!
Copeland: In a surprising turn of events, Ricky Runn has the early advantage over Barbosa, and you have to believe that the pre-match assault has something to do with that!
Cohen: Oh enough of this, "pre-match assault,” malarkey! If Ricky Runn wins this match, it’s going to be because of his own merits, not because of some excuse you two clowns invented.
Runn and Barbosa are both on their feet, and Runn has Barbosa positioned for a suplex. He tries to lift Barbosa up, but the champ hooks his leg around Ricky’s, blocking the suplex attempt. Ricky releases the hold and instead kicks Barbosa in the gut before taking him down to the mat by dropping an elbow across the back of Barbosa’s neck. From there, Ricky locks in a crossface, but without trapping Barbosa’s arm the move becomes instantly ineffective. The mistake costs Ricky the move and perhaps momentum as Barbosa wraps his arms around Ricky’s waist, and the champ uses his incredible strength to get to his feet and drop the challenger with a side-suplex, breaking the hold.
Both men lay on the ground for a few moments, trying to regain their composure. Ricky Runn is up first, but Barbosa isn’t too far behind him. Ricky Runn throws a knee at a kneeling Barbosa’s chin, but Barbosa catches the leg and wrestles Runn to the ground. He uses his advantageous position to plant an arm in Ricky’s chest and uses his other arm to deliver elbow strikes to the challenger’s face, but Ricky covers up and avoids most of the damage.
Cohen: Look at that defense! Say what you will about Ricky Runn, the guy is smart!
Connor: Yes, nothing says smart better than wearing a pair of sunglasses with small plastic bars instead of lenses.
Realizing his strikes aren’t accomplishing much, Barbosa releases Ricky and starts to get to his feet… but Ricky moves quickly and grabs Barbosa from behind and rolls him up again!
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out!
Barbosa and Ricky both get to their feet quickly, but Ricky moves first as he charges at Barbosa looking for a flying clothesline… but Barbosa drops Ricky with a big headbutt to the challenger’s chest! Ricky hits the mat hard, and Barbosa makes his first pin attempt of the match.
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out!
Ricky starts to worm away as he crawls towards the edge of the ring, but Barbosa grabs him by the ankle. Ricky flips over to his back and kicks Barbosa off, then proceeds to roll back onto his stomach and crawls on all fours towards the ropes. He’s about half an inch away when he gets yanked back by his hair as Barbosa grabs a fistful of it and drags Runn to his feet. The ref starts counting, but Barbosa quickly releases the hair and turns his illegal hold into a hangman’s neckbreaker! Ricky’s neck bounces violently off the canvas, and Barbosa rolls over for another pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out!
Copeland: Has the tide of the match finally changed? Can Barbosa continue to maintain this advantage over Ricky Runn?
Cohen: Don’t sound so optimistic, Seabass! I can’t believe how biased you are sometimes!
A look of frustration crosses Barbosa’s face as he pulls his opponent back to his feet again. Barbosa whips Ricky into the ropes, and drops him with a stiff clothesline. Barbosa liked that move so much, he decides to try it again, this time whipping Ricky into the opposite ropes, but again dropping him with the clothesline. Once more, Barbosa drags Ricky to his feet and whips the wobbly Runn into the rope, and this time attempts to catch him with a slam, but as Barbosa lifts the challenger into the air, Ricky Runn springs off and his Barbosa with a lift up drop kick! Barbosa hits the mat hard, but Ricky’s elevated fall doesn’t exactly result in a smooth landing either. Both men are down and show very few signs of moving.
The crowd gets a slow clap going as both men take sluggishly get to their feet. The sum of everything that has happened so far in the match has clearly taken a toll on their stamina, but Barbosa seems to be a little worse for wear as Ricky is the first one back to his feet. He quickly stomps towards Barbosa and smacks him in the face with a kick and then hits the ropes, rebounding and smacking into Barbosa, taking him down with a Tornado DDT! Barbosa’s head is driven into the mat and he flips over onto his back, but quickly rolls back up onto his feet! Ricky is taken aback as Barbosa turns around and wags his finger at the Swagtastic Voice of WZCW. Barbosa’s face turns considerably less friendly as he begins to charge at Runn, and the challenger has no interest in dealing with this version of Barbosa, immediately running towards the ropes and sliding out under the bottom rope. As Ricky ducks out, Joe Mason pops back up on the apron, but with full momentum at his disposal, Barbosa just drops him with a running punch! Hollywood Jameson has climbed to the apron a few feet away, and soon he too is dropped with a punch! Donny J has ascended to the top turnbuckle, but before he’s able to do anything, Barbosa grabs him and hoists him above his head, dropping him to the outside with a military press slam! The crowd goes, for lack of a better word, ape shit.
Copeland: No man the size of Barbosa should be able to do that! That’s just not right! That was one of the most incredible feats of strength I’ve ever seen in a WZCW ring!
The ref has intervened now and has the attention of Ricky Runn and the Swag Pack. The ref points at Ricky Runn’s three crownies and then points to the exit.
Cohen: No! You can’t throw the Swag Pack out! We were going to go to P.F. Chang’s after this!
Hollywood Jameson argues with the ref, but the ref continues to point towards the exit. Joe Mason helps Donny J up, and soon gathers Hollywood Jameson before the three of them make their way to the exit.
Crowd: Na-na-naaa-naaa, hey hey hey, goodbye!
Barbosa looks on as the three men make their way up the ring, but soon realizes that he has lost track of Ricky Runn in all the chaos. He turns around only to get a face full of Ricky Runn’s crotch as the highflier hits the RickyRana! He springs to his feet and hits the ropes, rebounding and hitting the Yolo Roll on Barbosa, leaving the champ sprawled out in the middle of the ring showing few signs of life. Ricky gets to his feet and smiles, taking the whole scene in apart from the sounds of the crowd. Vicious boos fill the arena as Ricky takes pride in his work thus far, and he heads to the nearest turnbuckle to finish it off. He climbs to the top rope and turns around to measure his leap for a brief moment… and then springs off the top rope and slams into Barbosa with the R&R Swanton Bomb. He makes the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THRENO! KICK OUT!
Cohen: NO!
Connor: Yes! Barbosa just kicked out of Ricky Runn’s finishing maneuver, the R&R! The resiliency of this man is unbelievable!
Ricky Runn is on his knees, arguing with the ref. Ricky holds up three fingers, but the ref, the only person whose fingers matter, holds up two. Ricky slaps the ground and gets to his feet and sticks one finger in particular in the refs face, but the ref points to the WZCW logo on his shirt, reminding Ricky who is in charge. All the while Barbosa has quietly made his way to the ropes and has pulled himself up to his feet, but he’s not exactly stable. Ricky turns his attention to Barbosa, and charges recklessly at the champ, but Barbosa ducks him and sends him flying over the top rope… but Runn holds onto the rope and lands on the apron, though he is dizzy and dazed from the excitement. Barbosa takes a few steps back before running at Ricky Runn and hitting a bicycle kick… but Ricky dodges it, rolling out of the way! Barbosa’s foot is trapped in the rope, and Ricky takes advantage by rolling over Barbosa’s back and pinning him with a Sunset Flip!
ONE!
TWO!
Cohen: NEW CHAMPION!
TWO AND A HALF!
Copeland: NO! KICK OUT!
Barbosa kicks out of the pin, leaving Ricky Runn grabbing his face in agony, wondering what he has to do to beat the big man.
Connor: Two years ago, Saboteur rolled up Ty Burna in nearly the exact same scenario in what many considered to be one of the biggest upsets in WZCW history. You have to believe that if Ricky Runn had pinned Barbosa there, there would be no question that this match tonight is the biggest upset in WZCW history.
Cohen: Ricky Runn is better than you give him credit for, Cat! He’s been dominant in this match today and has been nanoseconds away from beating Barbosa several times. In my opinion, it’s only going to take one or two more give moves for Runn to get the win.
Copeland: First they need to get to their feet! Both men are exhausted as we get closer and closer to the end of our allotted time for this pay-per-view, and neither man has shown any signs of giving up. Both of these wrestlers want nothing more than to be the WZCW World Heavyweight Champion, and neither of them are going to go down without giving it everything they have.
Barbosa and Runn have both finally gotten to their feet, but Runn’s frustration manifests itself physically as he charges at Barbosa and rams him into the corner. Ricky starts thrusting his shoulder into Barbosa’s midsection, but this only works a few times before Barbosa catches Ricky’s head in a side headlock. Barbosa jumps into the air and springs out of the corner, hitting Ricky Runn with an improvised swinging DDT! Ricky crashes face first into the mat, but Barbosa doesn’t let go. He gets to his feet slowly, but as soon as he is vertical he drops Ricky Runn again with a straight DDT.
Connor: Duplicity!
But Barbosa still doesn’t let go! He pulls Ricky Runn up one last time, and this time hits a lifting DDT.
Connor: Scratch that. Make that Multiplicity!
Barbosa scrambles onto Runn for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
KICK OUT!
The crowd groans as Barbosa shakes his head in disappointment, but the champ doesn’t stay down for long. He tilts his head back and roars to the crowd, and the crowd roars back.
Copeland: The crowd sounds like they’re ready to see the end of this match! Let’s see if Barbosa can finally put Runn away!
Barbosa grabs Runn by the head and pulls him to his feet. Barbosa lifts Runn’s arm over his head from behind, and then pulls him into the air, clearly looking for the Doppelganger. Barbosa is about to drop him, but Runn swings his leg over Barbosa’s head and locks his legs around his neck for another RickyRana… but he can’t get Barbosa down! Ricky dangles upside down with his legs tied around Barbosa’s neck, but Barbosa soon hoists Ricky into the air and powerbombs him into the top rope, catching Ricky on the hotshot and turning the move into a Doppelganger! Ricky hits the mat, and Barbosa collapses onto Ricky for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings, the match is over, and the crowd goes nuts.
Harrys: The winner of this match and STILL WZCW World Heavyweight Champion… BARBOSA!
Barbosa slowly gets to his feet and staggers about before the ref grabs his hand and hoists it into the air. The ref offers Barbosa a shoulder as he hands the champ his belt, but Barbosa gently pushes the ref away before climbing a nearby turnbuckle and posing for the fans.
Copeland: What an unbelievable match! After numerous attempts, many of them devious, by Ricky Runn to put Barbosa down, the champ uses his incredible combination of strength and determination to come back and win this very important match!
Cohen: Devious? The only thing devious about this match is how many times Ricky Runn was less than a second away from becoming champion! Something smells fishy to me.
Connor: Stop being a scrooge, Jack! Listen to this crowd! It sounds like Christmas cheer is alive and well.
Barbosa’s name is being chanted around the arena as the champion continues to pose for his fans. He marches around the ring with his title, exuding pride with every step.
Copeland: And there you have it folks! It wasn’t exactly a Christmas miracle, but in the end Barbosa stands tall over Ricky Runn...wait what is the Swag Pack doing out here?
The members of the Swag Pack hit the ring and Barbosa tosses down his title belt and starts to fight off his attackers. Just as they push Barbosa to the other side of the ring, Runn begins to stir. He focuses his eyes on the belt lying in the ring and springs forward, latching onto it. He quickly scurries out of the ring and up the ramp while his minions continue to distract Barbosa. Once Barbosa manages to fight off Mason and Jameson, he climbs out of the ring after Runn, who has hightailed it out the arena.
Connor: Ricky Runn has the title belt! Somebody stop him!
Cohen: He's long gone! Ha ha! That clever fox! He's taken the belt right out of Barbosa's hands!
Barbosa continues to run down the ramp but Ricky is nowhere in sight. The world champion looks furious as he yells like a raging beast at the top of the ramp, clearly furious that his belt has been stolen.
Copeland: Barbosa is the world champion, but has Ricky Runn gotten the last laugh by absconding with the title belt? We're out of time here folks, enjoy your holiday and we'll see you next time on Meltdown!