Harrys: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a first round match for the Gold Rush Tournament, and is scheduled for one fall!
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Harrys: Introducing first, from the Mechanical Mecca...S.H.I.T.!
S.H.I.T. walks through the curtain slowly, lacking any emotion. He stops at the top of the ramp as the music rises, and then makes his way to the ring, climbing the steps and stepping through the ropes without acknowledging anyone. After circling the ring, he stops suddenly, standing mid-step as the lights dim.
His voice is heard through the arenas sound system as his music is interrupted.
S.H.I.T.: Good evening. You may recognize me as the robot that has destroyed everyone I've come face to face with in WZCW. Tonight...tonight I fight for new reasons. I finally fight for myself. Does Noah Ryder even know what he fights for tonight? I bet not. I fight to win the Gold Rush tournament, and become the Leader of the Free World! I will win, and you will all bow before me!
In an instant, the lights return and S.H.I.T. returns to walking around the ring, as if nothing happened. Harrys checks his mic, and continues.
Harrys: And his opponent...
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Harrys: Hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota...He is "The Unforgettable" Noah Ryder!
Noah bursts through the curtain, smiling and singing along to his theme as he makes his way down the ramp, clutching his briefcase in one hand and high-fiving the ringside fans. He rolls under the bottom rope and rushes to the corner, hopping to the middle turnbuckle and raising his arms as the crowd cheers.
Copeland: Odd words from the mandroid, but he is definitely refocused and determined to win this tournament, Jack. Ryder looks a little care-free, considering his opponent, but as you can tell by the briefcase he has with him, he always makes his presence known in big matches!
Cohen: Ryder has not been in nearly as many big matches as S.H.I.T. has, Seabass, and you'll see just how important that is, when he is staring at the lights for the three count.
The ref hands the briefcase over to a ringside attendant, and then checks each wrestler for weapons before calling for the bell.
**DING*DING*DING**
Ryder goes for a handshake, but S.H.I.T. reacts with a Piston Chop, knocking him backwards. as Ryder checks his mouth for blood, the mandroid rushes in with a series of European Uppercuts, before whipping Ryder across the ring. As Ryder comes back, S.H.I.T. knocks him to the mat with a headbutt! Ryder clutches at his face in pain as S.H.I.T. stands over him, calculating his next move. Ryder gets to a knee, but S.H.I.T. maintains control with a nerve hold on his shoulder. Ryder's arm goes limp as he struggles to break free, but S.H.I.T. proves too strong.
After a minute in the hold, Ryder is finally able to connect with a standing back kick, separating the two competitors. Before S.H.I.T. can react, Ryder connects with a swinging neckbreaker, and keeping the pressure on with a sleeper hold, but S.H.I.T. gets to his feet, using his weight to move Ryder to the ropes, breaking the hold. Ryder gives a clean break, but S.H.I.T. charges, attempting a German suplex! Ryder reverses, attempting his own, but the mandroid reverses again! Ryder blocks the first attempt, using his height to his advantage by leaning forward, blocking the move!
Copeland: An impressive series of reversals right there, as these two hit a standoff!
Cohen: If you're impressed by a series of reversals to a German suplex, then there's no hope for you, Seabass!
S.H.I.T. continues to attempt the suplex, but Ryder reverses again, turning into a Blue Thunder Bomb! S.H.I.T. rolls out of the ring to collect himself while Ryder jumps to his feet in the ring, waiting for his opponent to return.
1! 2! 3! 4!
S.H.I.T. circles to the steps, slowly re-entering the ring. He attempts a roundhouse kick, but Ryder ducks it, connecting with another Blue Thunder Bomb and going for the pin!
1...2.SHOULDER'S UP!
S.H.I.T. gets to his feet and assumes a fighting stance while Ryder argues the ref's count. Ryder gets to his feet and connects with a standing straight kick to the mandroid's face, nearly knocking him through the ropes, before grabbing him for an Irish whip into the corner. As S.H.I.T. drops to a seated position, Ryder follows him in with a running dropkick! The mandroid crumples to the mat, motionless. Ryder runs across the ring to the far corner, before charging back with a baseball slide, knocking S.H.I.T. to the outside!
Cohen: I like this mean streak that Noah is showing tonight! Certainly unexpected, but it could serve him well, if this is a full change of character in the young man!
Copeland: I'm going to chalk it up to the pressure of the tournament, Jack. I don't think it will last, the way you seem to hope it does.
Ryder follows the mandroid outside, pulling him to his feet, whipping him to the stairs on the outside. S.H.I.T. appears unaffected, charging at his opponent with a clothesline, before stomping him down!
3! 4! 5!
S.H.I.T. continues the assault, stomping on Ryder, and stomping on his hand any time he attempts to get up.
6! 7!
The mandroid rolls into the ring, allowing Ryder to get to his feet. Ryder rolls under the bottom ropes, rising to his feet before the mandroid can take advantage. He lands a series of punches, forcing his opponent backward, before leaning off the ropes himself and connecting with a dropkick! S.H.I.T. falls through the ropes!
1! 2! 3! 4! 5!
S.H.I.T. sits up before getting to his feet and stepping to the apron. Ryder is instantly on him, holding a headlock and pulling him through the ropes. He connects with a DDT! S.H.I.T. lies motionless as Ryder struggles to roll him over for the pin!
1...2..KICKOUT!
Ryder argues the referee's count again but before he is standing, his opponent is on his feet as well! S.H.I.T. grabs him for a series of German suplexes! Ryder flails through the air with each slam, and then curls into a fetal position, clutching at is back as S.H.I.T. slowly gets to a vertical base. Ryder is on his knees, and nails S.H.I.T. with a haymaker to the gut, doubling him over. As he gets to his feet, he connects with another, before using a knee to send S.H.I.T. to the mat. He goes for the quick pin attempt, hooking the leg!
1...2KICKOUT!
Ryder pulls S.H.I.T. to his feet, flipping him to the mat with a snapmare, then driving a knee to his back as he cranks on the mandroid's neck. S.H.I.T. reaches for the ropes, but Ryder pulls him back to the middle of the ring. The ref checks for a submission, but a robotic voice declines. S.H.I.T. is able to grab a hold of Ryder's hair, and rises to his feet, before dropping to a seated position with a jawbreaker! Ryder falls to the mat again as S.H.I.T. stays seated on the mat.
Ryder and the mandroid both get to their feet at the same time, but S.H.I.T. hits him in the gut with a hard kick, before signaling for the
Industrial Driver! He sets Ryder up, but is shoved off, and Ryder connects with a
Black Out! He shoots the half, looking for the pin!
1...2...REVERSAL!
S.H.I.T. grabs the arm and rolls through, applying an
Indsutrial Strength Vice! Ryder flails, but they're in the center of the ring! S.H.I.T. cranks the hold in as the ref gets into position, looking for the submission!
Copeland: Out of nowhere, the mandroid has applied his submission maneuver, and right in the middle of the ring! If Ryder can't make it to the ropes, he'll have to tap!
Cohen: I told you his mean streak wouldn't get him anywhere, Seabass! This is the end of the line for Mr. Ryder! He can rest his head tonight on that briefcase though, knowing he still has a shot at a different title, but it will not be Dr. Zeus!
The ref checks multiple times for a submission, but Ryder frantically screams no, struggling to get to the ropes. He uses his free arm to crawl across the ring, dragging the mandroid with him! He gets within inches of the ring, and S.H.I.T. breaks the hold, dragging Ryder by the arm back to the center of the ring, and reapplying the move!
Copeland: Oh no! I can't imagine he has enough left to get back to the ropes! S.H.I.T. has him in the perfect position!
Ryder can't reach S.H.I.T., and the ropes are too far! He swings his legs free, struggling to get to any rope! S.H.I.T. tries to crank harder on his neck, but slips and Ryder is loose! Ryder uses the momentary surge to get to his feet, and charges at S.H.I.T. with a shoulder tackle with his good arm! S.H.I.T. side steps his charging opponent, sending him into the turnbuckle! As Ryder stumbles back into the ring, he is hit with an
Industrial Driver! S.H.I.T. holds on for the pin!
1...2...3!
Harrys: The winner, moving on to the quarterfinals of the Gold Rush tournament...S.H.I.T.!
S.H.I.T. stands in the center of the ring with his arms in the air as Noah rolls out of the ring, clutching his arm to his side.
Cohen: This is a huge win for S.H.I.T.! Now he goes on to face the winner of Flex and Kagura, which should be another win for the mandroid!
Copeland: I think you're underestimating his potential opponents a little, Jack, but nevertheless this is an impressive win over Noah Ryder. A statement win, even, as he says he is refocused!
Cohen: And if S.H.I.T. is focused, the entire roster better be on notice! And while we're talking about who needs to be on notice, we have Abel Hunnicutt and Matt Tastic up next, and it will be fun to see Matt get his comeuppance from sticking his nose where it didn't belong at Apocalypse!
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Backstage elegANT is seen standing with his extended ant family, who appear solemn after his defeat.
elegANT: Fear not chaps, just a minor setback. For next week I take on Anthony Mancini, and with the help of my cousin MILITANT, I shall be in the best shape of my career. Better even than when I was an Elite X champion.
The ants begin to cheer as MILITANT flexes his ant muscles (do ants have muscles?) and pump up elegANT.