Would You Marry Someone You Never Slept With?

[Cena's Little Helper]

Recently, I asked myself this question. And, while I respect and admire those that intend to wait to have sex on their wedding night for the first time either altogether or with their spouse, I could never do it. Personally, while I would never consider sex the most important thing in a relationship, I nonetheless consider it essential to a healthy and strong one. Thus, I would need to know that, when it comes to sex, my partner and I: a) are, for lack of better words, on the same page (i.e., we both enjoy having sex with each other); b) desire a similar amount of sex (e.g., sex at least once a week).

 

[Father:_Polley]

I have to say I don't see why not. I mean if it's your first time together for both of you, well, you have the chance to learn together and grow with each other. I do respect your honesty in saying that it's important, but not the most important thing.

For a lot of people, sex is the only thing in the relationship and that's when it gets a little dysfunctional.

 

[Legendary_Undertaker]

Funny thing is I was just haveing this exact conversation with my younger brother and like I told him I couldn't see myself waitting until I got married to have sex. And heres why...

a. Having sex for the first time isn't really a good experience (especially for women) so I would want to put my first time behind me as soon as possiab;e and get enough practice so I don't look like a ****** in bed

b. Considering both of you aren't virgins I would want to know what if anything is going to happen when eaither of us gets horny. After you've had sex for the 1st time its alot harder to control your urges and having an attractive girl (in your opinion) in your face would only make things worse

C. what if you wait for however many years to marry this person and eaither you or her dont like having sex with the other? what a waste of time!!!

IMO I think you should have sex with your partner before marriage in order to "test the waters" and see if this is somebody you can see yourself being physical with for the rest of your life.....MY OPINIONS ARE NOT BASED ON THE EMOATIONAL ASPECTS OF A RELATIONSHIP SIMPILY THE PHYSICAL PARTS

 

[48.7 is Approximately 49 Times Better Than You]

I'm a Christian. It says in the Bible that sex is a gift from God to be shared between you and your spouse, or something along those lines. Based on that, I plan on marrying someone I've never slept with.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I almost answered this question differently than what it actually asks.

While I would wait, and would see absolutely zero problem in doing so, I think it's best to at least get the sexual tention out of the way as well. I think a big issue with people who wait to have sex before they get married, is once they do (especially for those who've had sex with multiple people pre-hand) they might not find it as enjoyable.. and while sex shouldn't be a major thing in a relationship, the fact is.. it is.

Without sex you enjoy with your Partner, you lose the intimacy aspect of the relationship, which leads to cheating on your spouse, which leads to divorce. Badly.

A personal example to me. My first love, the one I wanted to marry.. didn't do oral, and actually had several restrictions (sexually) that she didn't prefer to do. Who I was then I'm more than sure I would've overlooked it to be with her.

However, who I am now I think the sex would be boring, especially after a couple years. And I don't marry someone with the downside of being "It's like a contract, it'll be up in a couple years and I can try someone new". Doesn't work that way. Which is yet another reason why Erin is perfect for me.

SO, on that personal experience and understanding.. while there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with waiting to have sex w/ someone, until you get married.. I would say for a long term healthy future with that person.. you need to not just get sex out of the way, but also test living with them.

Because THAT is a whole new issue, that destroys relationships if it never happens until you get married.

 

[Rusty]

Hell yes.

I am brought up to believe that sex shouldn't take place before marriage, because it is meant to be a sacred thing and an extremely important thing in a relationship. Whether I have sex before marriage or not is purely up to me, but I am told sex is much better and more important if you lose your virginity once your married, as you lose it to the person you love most.

I've learnt that sex is essential in a healthy and strong relationship. It is the ultimate act of love between a man and a woman who are happily married. Losing it before marriage doesn't bother me personally, but it is better if you wait until the right partner comes along.

I would most certainly married someone that I haven't slept with before. Because that will mean I get to have sex with her after we get married, making it more important as we show our love to each other once we are already in a lifelong partnership. If you don't marry someone who you haven't had sexual relations with based on the fact that obviously want sex and nothing more, you are obviously not caring about your partners feelings and are only in the relationship for sexual intercourse.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Would you buy a pair of pants without trying them on? Would you buy a car without driving it? Would you buy a house without inspecting it? I wouldn't...Well, haven't. But I do respect people that would...

I'm a Christian. It says in the Bible that sex is a gift from God to be shared between you and your spouse, or something along those lines. Based on that, I plan on marrying someone I've never slept with.

I'm an Atheist. I don't take orders from an invisible sky dwelling "being" that come from a book written/changed/modified by hundreds of people over more than a thousand years. I married someone I slept with numerous times before I married her. No offense, 48.7....

 

[Fizzy]

Sex does not equal love. I had not had sex with my fiancee until about a month or two ago and we have been dating since freshman in high school. If you can't go the distance without sex then you really are only there for one thing, and you don't really have strong feelings for the girl.

When you are in love with someone quite honestly sex was the last thing on my mind when I was with her. If you truly have strong feelings for the girl you do not need sex, and it shouldn't factor into your relationship. I got through getting made fun of for dating so long without sex, but it was so easy to get through it because I knew my relationship meant to much to push her into doing something she wasn't ready for.

Many people will disagree with me about sex not factoring into your relationship, but this is how I feel and how it is for me. So yes I would most certainly marry someone whom I have not slept with before, mainly because sex is really not a big thing to me. It also shows how committed you are to your relationship, which only makes it healthier, and shows your true love to the girl.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I'd have no problem with waiting if my fiancé didn't believe in sex before marriage - if I loved that person it wouldn't matter to me in the slightest that I couldn't sleep with them.

On a personal level, I don't feel the need to wait until marriage. I know that I'm not going to 'sleep around', and I'd need to trust and love the person I was with - what does a marriage certificate have to do with that? I can have both those things without marriage.

 

[Pimpin]

Even though I have had sex before I wouldn't see it as a problem for me to wait if the girl I was marrying wanted to wait til marriage to have sex.

In my opinion though I don't see the need to wait til marriage. I know for a fact that I ain't gonna end up as a man ****e & i'd need to develop the trust & love with the person I am with so what exactly does a marriage certificate have to do with that? Lots & lots of people can have both love & sex without getting married.

 

[NSL]

I agree with a bunch of posters here, that sex does not equal love, and that it is something can wait until marriage. But, I don't think I could. I respect everyone that can, and I wish I could. But, having already had lots of sex, it'd be hard to go into a relationship knowing it wouldn't be there until years later. I have friends that have tried to wait until marriage, and they've all been cheated on. It's not right, but it happens. I wouldn't cheat, but I'd eventually find myself looking, and that itself is grounds to not be with someone.

If I did marry as a virgin, I'd feel pretty disappointed when it turns out that sex isn't all it's cracked up to be, at first. The first few times, I don't care who you are, are awkward as hell, and more or less, unfulfilling. So, it comes to thinking about comitting to someone for the rest of your life, that leaves you unsatisfied physically. You'll argue, bitch, complain, and end up not having any sex at all. And then, you end up looking at other people. And, you'd be in a position where it's best to just end it. As Gunnz not-so-eloquently put it, you wouldn't buy pants without trying them on.

My son's mother, was a girl that I started dating, purely in the hopes of just getting laid. I was 17, it was high school, and there wasn't much reason to be looking for the Future Mrs. Kidd. I wanted sex, and I found it. After a while, our relationship turned serious, and then we started talking about a family and getting married. Most relationships start out that way. You don't ask someone out, in hopes of marrying them. You ask them out, in hopes of connecting with them, and being happy. Marriage is close to being an outdated institution anyway (no offense Will).

Even with my current girlfriend...I wasn't planning on dating her when I met her. She found me through my friend's MySpace, and sent me a friend request. She was pretty cool, and we decided to hang out one day. Then we started dating, and the sex just happened naturally. We didn't plan it, we didn't talk about it. It just happened. We're very happy now, and have joked about a possible wedding in the distant future. If it happens, great. But, I don't think I could be in a relationship now, unfulfilled physically, looking at a marriage that may not come.

 

[TwistofRKO]

I'm a Christian. It says in the Bible that sex is a gift from God to be shared between you and your spouse, or something along those lines. Based on that, I plan on marrying someone I've never slept with.

+1.

[QUOTE="The Living Legend" Johnny Gunnz;905340]Would you buy a pair of pants without trying them on? Would you buy a car without driving it? Would you buy a house without inspecting it? I wouldn't...Well, haven't. But I do respect people that would...



I'm an Atheist. I don't take orders from an invisible sky dwelling "being" that come from a book written/changed/modified by hundreds of people over more than a thousand years. I married someone I slept with numerous times before I married her. No offense, 48.7....[/QUOTE]

That's pretty disturbing. Having sex is the only way to get to know somebody? It's not in the least the most important factor for most people getting married. It's not like you'll be having great sex when you're 60, and I'd plan on being married to one person my whole life.

And that is rather offensive, slapping "no offense" doesn't change the contents.

 

[DJ-LyRiX]

Sex before marriage is a good thing. Gives you a chance to get to know each other on a more personal level. You don't truly know someone til you've ripped their back out.

 

[HEEL Blazy]

I could do it if I loved the girl enough and she wanted to save herself for marriage. I mean yeah if a girl wanted to before marriage I would but if she wanted to wait I wouldn't mind that either if I loved her. I mean you gotta respect her ways of life like you want her to respect yours right.

 

[AnthonyMango/NoFate007]

No, I wouldn't marry someone that I hadn't slept with yet. Now, I'm not one of those guys that thinks sex is everything. In fact, I've only had sex with one person so far - the girl that I was in my longest relationship with. But to me, to be ready for marriage, you need to know the person inside and out (no pun intended, lol). You should live with them for a while so you know what to expect in that department. You should have had some disappointments and some arguments (obviously not facilitated, abusive, or a "big fight" or anything) and see if your relationship can handle that strain. You should have had some moments where everything is serious and some when its purely fun. You should have had your moments where you do something elaborate, and you should have your moments where nothing would make you happier than to just sit on the couch, cuddle, and watch TV together. Sex is an important aspect of a relationship. If there's a problem with that link between you two, the connection isn't full, and this could cause even grander problems down the line.

I think its foolish if you get married without knowing that person like the back of your hand because the goal of a marriage shouldn't be to test out the possibility that you could spend your life together, but rather, it should be the equivalent of having already filled out the answers and performing the act of actually handing your paper into the teacher. Commitment, not internship. If you were totally in the dark about a big aspect of your relationship (this case being sex), you're basically just assuming that everything will be ok. As they say, when in doubt, take your best guess, and this would apply here too - if you love everything about the person that you've come across so far, and you just have been strictly following abstinence until marriage, go for it. It'd be better than to prevent what could possibly end up as a successful marriage just because you are too worried. But I think its better to have done the research ahead of time.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

You know, today isn't yester-year and whether anyone likes it or not, times have certainly changed. Once upon a time, it was proper to wait until you're married to have sex. For some, religion-based, it still is. But in the end, we're facing the biggest divorce rate in a very long while.. and a major reason for that, is because people are NOT taking the proper amount of time, to look into their "partner" and make sure everything is going to be workable.

This means living together, fights, arguments, sex, goals, plans, children, everything. You need to know how everything is going to function, or at least have a very good idea on it, that turns out as close to real as possible.

Is sex important? Whether you admit it or not, YES it is. Anyone who claims its not is lying through their teeth, to attempt looking "moral". Quit it, because you're only making yourself look foolish and stubborn.

Relationships are not based upon sex. However, intimacy and a healthy sexual relationship is what keeps relationships working and functioning properly, along with great communication, similar goals, and an overall healthy friendship with one another.

If you don't have sex with someone, it isn't the end all-be all to a failed possible relationship.. but it does increase your chances, of the possibility that it could fail, because upon coming to sleep with one another.. either you, or your Partner, could realize it's not satisfying. And yes, satisfying sex is needed.

So in the end.. no, no one is forcing anyone to have sex before they're married. But don't sit there, stand there, or whatever in general, and try to play off that sex isn't an important part of a relationship. Because it is. It's not the most important, but it's important, none the less.