Would You Have A Problem With Your Child Being Gay?

[Cena's Little Helper]

Sure, we've had plenty of threads here on WZ about homosexuality and LGBT rights, but, to the best of my knowledge, we've never addressed the following question: how would you react to having a homosexual child?

If I'm honest with myself, I could see this being a problem for me if I only had one son who was homosexual. Call it an outdated, paternalistic instinct if you want, but, if I only had one son, I'd want to know that he was going to carry on the family name and have children of his own that weren't adopted. Sure, there's always the possibility that, should he be gay, he'd be able to have a child via surrogacy, but that potentially brings in a number of complicating factors compared to making a baby the old-fashioned way (e.g., Will him and his partner fight over whose sperm will be used? Will they be able to afford the fertility treatments? etc.).

So, long story short, I'd have an issue with my only son being gay. If I had two sons, I wouldn't care if one of them was gay so long as the other was straight. If I had nothing but daughters, I'd honestly be ecstatic if they were all gay.

What are your thoughts on the matter? Do you agree of disagree with my sentiments? Also, as further food for thought, do you think that there's a stark contrast between the way men perceive this issue and the way women perceive it?

 

[Dagger Dias]

I do try to be open about all types of lifestyle choices, and have no major problem with gays. However it would be different if I was raising a son who made that decision. There's a difference between being tolerant and what you allow in your house. That lifestyle goes against my personal and religious beliefs. I would be very uncomfortable with it, especially given how my family is obsessed with gender roles and what's considered "manly". I would perceive it as me failing as both a father and a man if my son in this scenario ended up being gay. Granted once he is over 18 and has moved out on his own he can make any choice he wants, but as long as he would be under my roof I would not tolerate such a lifestyle in my house. Call me oldschool or any other term all you want, but this is what I believe and I do not compromise on my beliefs. It would be a much tougher issue for men to accept than women and there certainly is a difference in how they would deal with this scenario due to the intense pressure on men having to be "manly" whereas a mother is more likely to have an easier time loving everything about her child no matter what choices the child makes.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

Personally if I'd a son who was a homosexual it would kind of depend.

First of all; and I don't mean to categorize homosexuals, but if I'd a son who had all the traits of a full on homosexual I'd probably have a problem with it due to the simple fact it would kind of be embarrassing. When I say that, I mean, you know those homosexuals who are really out there? Describing it is quite difficult but think along the lines of Boy George, that dude from the band Dead or Alive and Mr. Slave from South Park.

Okay, a cartoon isn't the greatest example but I'm sure people know what I mean. I'd have an issue with that, as it would be so evident that I could see closet homophobes taking a large and direct stance against it.

If they were... Camp is I think they call it, I don't know. Lets say casual about it and didn't attempt to aggressively flaunt it, then I would have no real problem with that. I'm sure that any father with a gay son in the world must at some point imagine said son having a female partner, but if he was just casual about it and as if to say, you saw him walking down a street and couldn't instantly pin-point he was a homosexual, that I wouldn't have a problem with.

Weird perspective on it, possibly. But a perspective nonetheless.

 

[Mustang Sally]

It would be a much tougher issue for men to accept than women....

Dagger, you feel that way because you're a man. I've seen lots of instances of this kind of "thing" occurring in families and, believe me, mothers have just as hard a time dealing with it as fathers when finding out their child is gay. They don't want it any more than fathers do, and whether they are more accepting or not depends on the personalities of the individuals involved, not their gender.

As I see it, your sons and daughters are what they are. As long as they're under your roof, you can control (to an extent) whether they "live" the lifestyle......but if they're gay, they're gay. Forcing them to hide it may make the parent feel better, but it not going to change the child's sexual orientation......and it may create resentments that will last a lifetime.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I could not give less of a fuck, dunno why anyone else would. Dont be rolling all about in my house making racket, which would be the policy regardless of orientation.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

as far as im concerned being gay is not a choice, if my son or daughter turns out gay than i will respect that and love them no matter what.

Im with Norcal on the racket though, don't be making a noise in my house no matter what!!! lol

 

[Constipated Badger Bottom]

I don't plan to ever have kids but if by some accident I do have one or if there already is a little danny_boy/danny_girl wrecking havoc somewhere in the world and if they were to come out as gay or lesbian then it really wouldn't bother me

I could see this being a problem for me if I only had one son who was homosexual. Call it an outdated, paternalistic instinct if you want, but, if I only had one son, I'd want to know that he was going to carry on the family name and have children of his own that weren't adopted.

So what if your child wasn't gay but one day said to you "I don't ever plan to ever have any kids" would you feel the same then?

 

[#hamler]

I could not give less of a fuck, dunno why anyone else would. Dont be rolling all about in my house making racket, which would be the policy regardless of orientation.

This is fucking hilarious.

I so agree with this. As long as my children are respectful of my wishes I wouldn't give two shits. I certainly wouldn't raise my son gay, but if he somehow turns out to be a homosexual I would have absolutely no problem with that. That may require some kind of sit down with my child and explain to him/her there's nothng wrong with being different. Other people/kids will probably hassle him and whatnot but I would have no problem if my child were a homsexual.

 

[FSWWE]

I don't have a problem with gays, as long as they are far from me, I'm okay with that.
If I had a son that turned out to be gay I will be honest with you guys, I would feel very bad and I would consider the fact of beating the gayish out of him, but the truth is that he would still be my son and part of my family and sooner or later I would accept it and even get in some fights with my buddies any time they call my son a ******, but I would feel really like shit.

We have to teach our sons that women are disgusting until they are 7 years old (to not catch any girly thing) and after that we have to say every time we see a girl in the street "She is HOT, look at that ass" (for him to learn that hot women are the deal).

I think that being gay or not is the parents fault.

 

[#hamler]

If I had a son that turned out to be gay I will be honest with you guys, I would feel very bad and I would consider the fact of beating the gayish out of him,

Holy fuck, please tell me you're joking about the beating part? Lol.

but the truth is that he would still be my son and part of my family and sooner or later I would accept it and even get in some fights with my buddies any time they call my son a ******,

An adult will likely be mature enough not to call your son that. Especially in today's society where homosexuality isn't necessarily looked down on.

We have to teach our sons that women are disgusting until they are 7 years old (to not catch any girly thing) and after that we have to say every time we see a girl in the street "She is HOT, look at that ass" (for him to learn that hot women are the deal).

I'm not gay. Never has my dad told me how hot a girl is. Around my mother or not he wouldn't say such a thing, yet I'm not gay at all.

I think that being gay or not is the parents fault.

I don't agree with this at all. There may be an effect from the parents but I don't think whether a person is homosexual or not fully relies on the parent. You are who you are. Whether you're a homosexual or not, you are attacted to whoever you're attracted to.

 

[FSWWE]

Holy fuck, please tell me you're joking about the beating part? Lol.

I wouldn't lay a finger on him, but I'm pretty sure I would consider it.

An adult will likely be mature enough not to call your son that. Especially in today's society where homosexuality isn't necessarily looked down on.

You must be kidding. Homosexuality is looked like something disgusting at least for "straight" guys. I wouldn't put my hand in some other guy penis, no way in hell.

I'm not gay. Never has my dad told me how hot a girl is. Around my mother or not he wouldn't say such a thing, yet I'm not gay at all.

I'm just trying to give one way to teach our son to be straight.

I don't agree with this at all. There may be an effect from the parents but I don't think whether a person is homosexual or not fully relies on the parent. You are who you are. Whether you're a homosexual or not, you are attracted to whoever you're attracted to.

I think that being gay or not is all about influences, look I'm considering the fact to really have to move to Mars or whatever.
Homosexuality started to be a crime, you wouldn't even suggest that you like some other guy hair because you would be killed like in the same moment.
After that, homosexuality was a really big shame both for the gay one and his family. Recently homosexuality was treated like something that we would have to accept it, but seen as something disgusting, now IT'S COOL to be gay, so I want to get the fuck out of here before they make it required!

Oh but I wouldn't have a problem if I had a daughter and she was gay, in fact I would be very happy about it.

 

[#hamler]

You must be kidding. Homosexuality is looked like something disgusting at least for "straight" guys.

Come on dude, I'm straight. I do find it perfectly acceptable for someone to be a homosexual.

I wouldn't put my hand in some other guy penis, no way in hell.

Because you're straight. That's like a homosexual saying "I wouldn't touch a woman's vagina, no way in hell."

I'm just trying to give one way to teach our son to be straight.

Let your children be a child. You cannot force something on them that young. Whether forcing them to be gay or straight.

I think that being gay or not is all about influences, look I'm considering the fact to really have to move to Mars or whatever.

Lol.

Homosexuality started to be a crime, you wouldn't even suggest that you like some other guy hair because you would be killed like in the same moment.

That's completely irrelevant. Times have changed. Do you know the punishment for being caught with a black man or woman in the 1800s? Times change.

After that, homosexuality was a really big shame both for the gay one and his family. Recently homosexuality was treated like something that we would have to accept it, but seen as something disgusting,

Its only a shame for those who don't accept someone different.

now IT'S COOL to be gay, so I want to get the fuck out of here before they make it required!

No. Lol. "It's cool" to be who you are. If you listen to some of the celebs who speak out for LGBT, they talk about being who you are whether accepted or not. They aren't trying to recruit you or whatever.

Oh but I wouldn't have a problem if I had a daughter and she was gay, in fact I would be very happy about it.

What? Lol. Another joke right?

 

[LilacFray]

I so agree with Norcal, Deexter and Hamler.

To be honest I'd be sort of embarrassed about how my child's a bit different from the others because of his Sexual Orientation.

Though that wouldn't stop me from respecting, being there for him/her and treating him/her the way I'd treat my children if they were Straight.

Imo, being gay/lesbian is a matter that can't be helped.

Man, I think different from My Parents.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I wouldn't lay a finger on him, but I'm pretty sure I would consider it.



You must be kidding. Homosexuality is looked like something disgusting at least for "straight" guys. I wouldn't put my hand in some other guy penis, no way in hell.



I'm just trying to give one way to teach our son to be straight.



I think that being gay or not is all about influences, look I'm considering the fact to really have to move to Mars or whatever.
Homosexuality started to be a crime, you wouldn't even suggest that you like some other guy hair because you would be killed like in the same moment.
After that, homosexuality was a really big shame both for the gay one and his family. Recently homosexuality was treated like something that we would have to accept it, but seen as something disgusting, now IT'S COOL to be gay, so I want to get the fuck out of here before they make it required!

Oh but I wouldn't have a problem if I had a daughter and she was gay, in fact I would be very happy about it.

You are the biggest fucking damn moron, I swear to fuck.

You dont TEACH someone to be gay or not, they either are, or arent. You most certainley can not BEAT it out of them, but thanks stupid shit like that is what makes countless gay kids commit suicde, you fucking ******ed fuck.

Its not "cool" to be gay, its not "cool" to be straight....


and did you seriously just insinuate incestuous attraction to a possible lesbian duaghter? What kind of a twisted up pathetic freak are you dude?

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

This is quite strange because one of my friend's brothers' recently came out to his dad and it will be a tough thing for both of them (but moreso the dad) to go through.

In a sense I guess the dad may feel embarassed in some way when he reveals it to his friends. What I mean by that is he's in his 50s and is more of a non-PC guy, so it seems likely his friends may be similar in that respect and the likelihood of making homophobic remarks even in jest may be quite high. I think it's hard to gauge how different generations view this kind of thing though, a lot more people in my generation are very accepting to this lifestyle but I don't know how things are with the older generations in viewing this kind of thing.

As others have pointed out, the family name may not be passed on as well as the potential of no kids. Again talking generationally, it could be quite disturbing to older members of the family that after having the mantra of "marry a good woman and raise a family" passed on for so long, it is now no longer strictly adhered to.

Personally, I'd like to think I would be accepting if that were to happen, but I'm gonna concentrate on finding a girl first before even thinking too far down the road!

 

[Mustang Sally]

You dont TEACH someone to be gay or not, they either are, or arent. You most certainley can not BEAT it out of them.....

True. You can force them to repress their natural feelings and tendencies while under your roof, but no amount of physical punishment is going to "beat" the gayness out of them. If you smack them around enough, you can probably turn an otherwise happy and confident child into a miserable, defective wreck of a human being. Maybe that would be reward enough to the parent who hates that their child is gay.

....and did you seriously just insinuate incestuous attraction to a possible lesbian duaghter? What kind of a twisted up pathetic freak are you dude?

As horrible as his statement is, I don't think he was talking about incest. But there are tons of straight men who love the thought of two gals going at it.....and I think he was sooner referring to thinking about (or seeing) his daughter making it with one of her girlfriends.

Kind of hope he never has a daughter, huh?

 

[LSN80]

I know dude is gone and all, but I need to respond to this, if for nothing else but to lend perspective.

I don't have a problem with gays, as long as they are far from me, I'm okay with that.

Yet you may be surrounded by friends or co-workers every day who are gay. You can't always control your environment. If you truly dont want to be around the "epidemic" that is "the gays", become a hermit.

If I had a son that turned out to be gay I will be honest with you guys, I would feel very bad and I would consider the fact of beating the gayish out of him.

This is despicable. Ive had experience with this mentality, actually. I had a family once who came to me and wanted me to use Behavioral Therapy to help "heal their son" from being a homosexual. As "Christians", their Bible told them that homosexuality is a sin, and they feared he'ld go to hell. Well, the 15 year old boy was already struggling with the stigma at school, and hearing about it from his parents,the one place you should receive undconditional acceptance, was too much. They didn't beat him up physically, they tried to beat him up figuratively through therapy by pathologizing homosexuality as a disease.

So what happened? The final straw for the young boy was that he was close to his homosexual uncle, and mom stopped inviting him to family events because he was a "bad influence." So one night, I got a frantic call from the parents, asking me to meet them at the hospital. I did, and what I found was a boy who was still somewhat blue(literally) because he had cut himself so deep in an attempt to kill himself. When I asked what triggered it, mom said "He couldn't live with the guilt of being gay anymore." Even after everything, she still didn't get it. In a rare lucid moment(as he was in and out of consciousness), he mumbled, "Im proud of who I am. I can't live with the guilt you put on me for being gay." To please his parents, the boy had tried. He'ld gone out with girls, and attempted to have sex with them, but he physically was unable. There was no attraction there whatsoever. And the more he was browbeat about it, the more it pushed him under. Would that really be something that you, or anyone who thinks like you, would want for their child?

but the truth is that he would still be my son and part of my family and sooner or later I would accept it and even get in some fights with my buddies any time they call my son a ******, but I would feel really like shit.

And this is the epitome of hypocrisy. You would beat "the gay" out of your son, but you'ld fight with your friends who called him a ******. May as well laugh along with your friends---at least you wouldnt be sending your kid mixed signals, eh?

"She is HOT, look at that ass".

I pray to God you never reproduce. Heterosexuality isnt a learned trait. Its part of one's genetics. If you, or someone like you, had a gay daughter, would you beat the lesbian out of her?

I think that being gay or not is the parents fault.

So if your son told you he was gay, you'ld blame yourself, right? Or would you beat the crap out of him like you said earlier. I dont expect you to understand this, but there are so many people in this world like you. People who look at homosexuality as a sin, or deviant behavior. Its not something like beating fellow students up, stealing, or acting up in school, nor should it be treated as such. Yet, these kids who are rebellious are hailed as heros at times, and the homosexuals deviants. Then these kids come home, and instead of receiving acceptance and support, theyre treated like deviants at home as well. The one place they should receieve unconditional support and love, they're shunned. Is it any wonder homosexuals who grow up in discriminatory environments is the number one cause of teenage suicide? Wake up people. Because as you might struggle with your child being gay, could you live with yourself if they ended their life because of your failure to accept them for who they are? God forbid. Love your kid for who they are, not who you want them to be.

 

[Xemmy]

I wouldn't love them if they were straight.

XD Seriously though, of course not. Maybe a little harsh to some, but I consider anyone that wouldn't love their child the same simply for sexual orientation, to be a monster. Whether you think homosexuals are born that way, come about due to nurturing, or just decided to be one out of the blue- it doesn't change the fact that they're your kid. Them having sex, or loving someone of the same gender shouldn't change anything. If it does, you need to take a good look in the mirror, figure out why, and fix it. I don't care if it's your religion, ideology, or you just don't like queers. There's nothing wrong with being homosexual, and it's no reason to not love your child.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

I don't plan to ever have kids but if by some accident I do have one or if there already is a little danny_boy/danny_girl wrecking havoc somewhere in the world and if they were to come out as gay or lesbian then it really wouldn't bother me



So what if your child wasn't gay but one day said to you "I don't ever plan to ever have any kids" would you feel the same then?

Over 80% of American men reproduce at some point in their lives. The probability of a straight son of mine not having a child is significantly smaller than the probability of a gay son of mine not having a child. I'll risk the odds.

 

[Kenny Powers]

I'm glad that the consensus of this forum is that Homosexuality isn't a choice or a problem. You would be surprised at how homophobic some other forums are. People like FSWWE are even top posters there and are even worse then him with racist and homophobic slurs. Back to the subject at hand, I would have no problem with any of my offspring being gay. I know being accepted in school and society will be hard enough, so why wouldn't I give them support?

Some are worried about the family not being passed or what people will think. I am married to Latina woman and reside in South Eastern Kentucky, so I don't give a damn what people think. I was never very athletic, cool, or a ladies man in high school and I'm sure my parents might have thought that I was gay at one time or another.

If Jesus died for everyone's sins then I don't see why Christians still consider being gay an "abomination". Technically in the Old Testament everything was an abomination. Eating shellfish, shrimp, pork, and certain birds was considered an abomination. It doesn't matter how you raise them. Sending them to a straight camp or a psychologist to suppress the "gay" out will only lead children to commit suicide.

I have heard that the more children someone has that the more hormones a female has to produce which causes greater chance of homosexuality. Sounds whacky but if it's true then the Palins and the Duggar Family on TLC with 19 kids probably have a lot of skeletons in their closet.

 

[ABMorales787]

Honestly, I'd be a little disappointed. No, I wouldn't hold any resentment but if I ever had a son, I would want him to grow up to be "like me, but better". If he turned to homosexuality, that would not be how I envisioned things. But then again, I can shape my child's life, but I can't force his direction.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

Homosexuality has always been against my family beliefs strictly applying to everyone but myself. With the exception of myself my family has shown disapproval of gays even insulting them from behind their backs. If I had a gay son I wouldn't have a problem with it but I would fear the reaction of my family. Homosexuality is a choice and if my offspring would go down that road then I would not keep it from doing so.

 

[H33LTurn]

No, I dont really think it would be a problem. I would feel bad for him because he's probably going to get made fun of sometime in the future, but people are a certain way and there are a hundred better reasons to have a problem with your child than sexual orientation. Its family, you know, and its just instinctual to feel a certain type of way if you know someone you love might have a rough time but at the end of the day if my kid needs someone to depend on I'm gonna be right here regardless of what hes doing behind closed doors.

 

[Hawkeye]

My children are already destined to do great things. As long as they live up to the standard I have set for them, nothing else will matter. Hopefully I'll be bringing children into a world where orientation holds no bearing. But I will support my children 100%. I am a forward thinking man and as such, these type of things don't really bother me. If his/her mother has a problem with it, then fuck her. My tiger cubs will be safe under my guidance and protection.

 

[thedarkslayer22]

i dont see any problem with it im not gay myself but i would have no problem with it tbh. like sure it would be a little weird but nothing i couldnt get over i mean its my son of course i wouldnt care i would still love him and treat him the same