Jesus, can't you people read? I said, Vince, why don't you push a pedophile next. Meaning, Vince has a habit of wanting to push inappropriate angles all the way to the top, because, well, I think Vince has some pretty dark spells and I think it comes from from a sick desire on his part to see just how far he can manipulate the public in any direction he wants. Wrestling promoters used to adhere to standards of propriety; Vince sometimes appears to be trying to remake the standards according to some warped thought processes.
I chose the term pedophile because that's an inappropriate angle that Vince hasn't used. Yet. It was a random choice, I could have just as easily used serial killer, drug dealer, or dog fighter. It was sarcasm aimed at the inappropriate and distasteful angles that Vince has attempted to push in the past. Remember the necrophiliac angle? The Mae West delivering a rubber glove scene? The proposed incest angle with Stephanie? Chuck and Billy? Was there anything at all appropriate about the whole Mark Henry and Mae West angle? Or Hot Lesbian Action? None of these are appropriate. Where does Vince's mind go when he comes up with these things - is he just projecting some weird fantasies of his own on the fans? What do these angles have to do with wrestling or even entertainment? Are these something you want your children to watch? Do you want to explain to a child why a rubber glove is coming out an old womans "belly"? Two women making out? A hot young diva causing another divas father to "die" from a heart attack due to sexual overexertion? Or why a father is staring at his own daughter's breasts from inches away with apparent fascination? COME ON VINCE; GET YOURSELF INTO THERAPY.
Listen up Vince and listen good: Some of the things you try to do are just plain offensive, and someone should be taking you out behind the woodshed and taking a switch to you for even thinking about them.
What I'm trying to get across is: Randy Orton has disgraced his country during his military service. He has failed drug tests. Evidently his backstage demeanor towards the female employees is deplorable. Why should he be pushed to the top as champion? Why does he still have a job with the company? In the real world, he would have been off the payroll a long time ago. HE IS NOT A POSITVE EXAMPLE, and if you're trying to be PG so Mommy can get elected, this is a potential time bomb.
POLITICAL CANDIDATE PUSHS DESERTER AS HER PRIME BUSINESS ENTERTAINMENT ATTRACTION. PERFORMER HAS ALSO BEEN PREVIOUSLY PUNISHED FOR DRUG AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT VIOLATIONS YET STILL MAINTAINS STAR STATUS WITHIN ORGANIZATION. CANDIDATE LIVES IN A FAIRY TALE WORLD AND THINKS THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE COMPANY MAKES MONEY OFF THE PERFORMER. CANDIDATE ALSO RECENTLY PRODUCED AN EPISODE WHERE A GROUP OF YOUNGER PERFORMERS RECENTLY BRUTALIZED A RETIRED EMPLOYEE TWICE THEIR AGE. EMPLOYEE SUBSEQUENTLY ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL WITH RUPTURED BLOOD VESSEL IN BRAIN. CANDIDATE''S COMPANY HAS MANIPULATED ALL MEDIA REPORTS WITH SMOKE AND MIRRORS TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION THAT THE BRUTAL AND ILL COORDINATED ATTACK HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH EMPLOYEE'S SUBSEQUENT MEDICAL ISSUES.
CANDIDATE WANTS YOUR VOTE BECAUSE SHE HAS THE BUSINESS EXPERIENCE AND JUDGMENT TO MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS CONCERNING YOUR FUTURE.
Uh-huh.
In the old days of wrestling, when it was red neck factory worker middle class soap opera, no promoter would have given Orton a job if they knew about his past because it would have been too risky if the fans found out about it. OR the promoter would have given him a job, pushed the deserter angle and make him take beatdowns from the other wrestlers. (And in the old days, when wrestling fans were True Believers, Orton would have needed an escort pretty much anywhere in the building to prevent the fans from taking matters into their own hands. And he probably would have taken some legit beatdowns in the locker room. I just imagine just how little tolerance guys like Race, Bruiser or Valentine would have shown a deserter. I would love to see Randy Orton in a military NCO club by himself with no WWE security around and have someone out him as a deserter. IT WOULD NOT BE PRETTY.)
If it were me, I would make money off the angle by outing Orton as a deserter to the general public. I would have Vince act Shocked and Amazed at having discovered this information. Then I would have him run a gauntlet of forgiveness by having Dibiase (as the Marine) beat down Orton week after week after week after week after week after week . . . . . .
And then Cena (as The Marine) beat down Orton week after week after week after week . . . .
And then Sargent Slaughter (as, well, Sargent Slaughter) beat down Orton week after week after week . . . .
And then Corporal Kirschner. And The Patriot. And Jim Duggan. And Mr. USA Tony Atlas. And the All American American Jack Swagger. And Doink the All American Clown. And Hornswoggle the All American Leprechaun. And Vladimir Kozlov the All American Russian. I'd bring back Bob Holly for about a month of beatdowns, followed by one big mass beatdown on Orton by every retired legend that they could cram in the ring with him. And I'd tell them to work really, really stiff. All this time having Orton defend his actions and spewing anti-American, anti-fan venom.
And then, finally, after about six months, I would allow Orton to have an epiphany and beg the fans for forgiveness now that he had some proper appreciation of America beaten into him and/or rush into the ring to help a wrestler being beaten down by an Evil Anti-American Faction (which WWE would be developing simultaneously to Orton's journey to forgiveness.)
ANNOUNCER: Randy, I don't understand. You've made your views clear these last few months. Why did you jump into the ring and help Joe Schmoe when the (Evil Faction) was attacking him?
ORTON: I . . . I don't know. It just . . . it just seemed the right thing to do. All these people that have been coming after me lately . . . . the one thing driving them all is their pride in America. I've just . . . . grown to respect that. Maybe it's been something I should have respected all along. Maybe it's something I should respect more today.
(Sargent Slaughter comes out. Orton steps back defensively. They stare each down for a minute, then Sarge puts out his hand. Orton hesitates then takes his hand. Sarge snaps to attention and salutes Orton.
SARGE: Some lessons have to be learned on the battlefield, Soldier.
Orton comes to attention and salutes back. He fights back the tears. The crowd does freaking nuts.)
Old school, drawn out, dramatic and it would put Orton over the top in a way that he has never achieved. I'm talking Hulk Hogan, Dusty Rhodes, Stone Cold over the top. He could do no wrong afterwards. Remember Charles Dickens first rule for writing a story: Make them laugh, make them cry, but most of all, make them wait.
That would be the right way to draw money from a deserter instead of pushing him to the roof as a superstar. Somewhere along the line, the fans would start sympathizing with Orton and when he made his turn, he would own the fans. It could be better than when Sargent Slaughter or Dusty Rhodes turned face.
I smell money.
