klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2016
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Now this should be interesting as it's another show where almost no one is going to be watching, meaning WWE isn't likely to put much, if any, effort into the show. There's a US Title match between Rusev and Titus O'Neil plus a big US vs. The World elimination tag match which will likely get a lot of time. Let's get to it.
We open at the roster's Fourth of July party with Golden Truth rapping in the background. The Vaudevillains take their place with English singing the Declaration of Independence, only to have food thrown at him. Miz and Maryse (who should wear red more often) go into a rant about how this is why we can't celebrate holidays anymore, which turns into an ad for Smackdown going live in two weeks.
A massive food fight breaks out with Kane and Big Show getting into a chokeslam battle until Heath Slater throws something at them, earning himself a chokeslam through a table. Everyone else leaves with only Kevin Owens sitting at a table. Owens: “This would never happen on Canada Day.” Someone hits him with a pie and Owens freaks out. Total filler but it's tradition at this point.
Opening sequence.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as we have red white and blue ropes again.
US Title: Rusev vs. Titus O'Neil
Rusev is defending and yes this is actually happening again. Titus is dressed like Apollo Creed for a nice touch. This is joined in progress after a break with Titus throwing Rusev around with ease before being tossed/suplexed out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Titus fights up for the slugout. Some shoulders and a big boot put Rusev down, followed by a powerslam for no cover. The Clash of the Titus gets two and the announcers basically admit that it's over. Rusev gets in some kicks to the head and the Accolade ends this at 5:53.
Miz vs. Ambrose tonight in your weekly Smackdown rematch.
Here are the Social Outcasts dressed as minutemen but are quickly cut off by Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo thinks we should have some star spangled banter because they're stars and take meteor showers. Amore lists off the Presidents in order and it's time for a match.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Social Outcasts
Bo and Curtis since Heath is still banged up from earlier. Enzo gets beaten down for all of a minute before Cass comes in to clean house with the usual. A big boot sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka for the pin on Dallas at 2:03. In other words, the people dressed as the old school Americans get squashed.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke with something to say. Charlotte talks about people being jealous of her and the proof is around her waist. It must be eating Sasha alive that Charlotte is the champ and all she has is a WE WANT SASHA chant. There is no one that has done more than Charlotte this year because Sasha is all hype.
Cue Sasha to say Charlotte can be champion but she'll never be Sasha. Charlotte doesn't want to be here but Sasha says she would be champion if not for Charlotte's daddy. We get the very good question of what it means to be the boss. Charlotte has been champion for most of the time since they debuted in WWE a year ago so she's the legit boss. Sasha talks about how a boss fights all the time and is about to fight now but Dana's distraction lets Charlotte kick Sasha in the face. That earns her a Bank Statement with Dana making the save before Charlotte can tap.
Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Non-title and another Smackdown rematch that won't be billed as a rematch because Smackdown means nothing. Dean starts fast and clotheslines Miz out to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Miz reverses a whip and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose fighting back but getting dropkicked in the knee for his efforts.
We hit the Figure Four for a bit as JBL goes on his same rant about how you can't put Ambrose's face on billboards or have him on Jimmy Fallon, even though NO ONE BUT CENA (and occasionally Reigns) EVER DOES ANY OF THAT STUFF. Miz's top rope ax handle is countered and Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive. Ambrose is nice enough to hold his leg after the dive connects. Back in and Miz kicks him in the face, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 9:42.
Post match here's Seth Rollins for his match and a quick staredown with Ambrose that goes nowhere. Dean changes his mind and comes back to do commentary as it's time to rip off Dean Ambrose from a few months ago.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and Dean switches from Spanish commentary to English as they get started. They hit the mat to start with Ziggler sending Rollins outside. Seth comes back in for some stomps and an enziguri to knock Dolph to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dolph getting a faceplant off the top for two, followed by Rollins' low superkick getting the same. Ziggler evens the superkick score for another near fall, only to have the Zig Zag countered into the Pedigree for the pin at 11:18.
Post match Rollins gets on the announcers' table to rant about his legacy. He still thinks Reigns should be taken out of the triple threat because Reigns hasn't worked for anything a day in his life. Ambrose gets on the other announcers' table so Rollins can yell at him a bit before the fight is on. Rollins gets the worst of it though and it's Dirty Deeds onto the table, which doesn't break.
We get an old school Wyatt Family video with them talking about how New Day's reality doesn't really exist. They invite New Day into their world because the power of positivity is a myth believed only by fools and children. Join them.
Video on Baron Corbin. You don't see this kind of thing often enough.
Here's Vickie Guerrero to say she should be in charge of Smackdown. This goes on for a good while until security takes her away. Cole calls this very strange, despite it happening every week for the last month.
Big Show gives Team America (Zack Ryder, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Apollo Crews, Mark Henry and Jack Swagger) a pep talk about how it doesn't matter where you're from. Naturally the Battle Hymn of the Republic is playing in the background.
Vickie is being taken away when she runs into ex-boyfriend Dolph Ziggler.....who says he's never seen her before so she should be taken away.
Golden Truth vs. Vaudevillains
Breezango is at ringside. Truth and Gotch start things off with Simon taking a kick to the face. A double tag brings in Goldust to work on English, including a bulldog for no cover. Everything breaks down and Truth tags himself in, setting up a powerbomb/side slam combo (Solid Gold) for the pin on English at 1:31. I'm so glad they brought the Vaudevillains up for something like this. Breezango did nothing.
Bob Backlund wants Darren Young to live a problem free life. His advice is to make his problems bend to his will. Then he asks about Young's finisher, which is still the Gut Check. Backlund isn't cool with the fact that Darren doesn't have a submission hold so he suggests the Crossface Chickenwing, which he officially gives to Young. See, Backlund believes in Darren and wants him to be great again.
Here's John Cena to suggest that the crowd isn't as fired up as they normally are. They seem a little disappointed tonight but maybe they need to find that energy they had the first time he stood face to face with AJ Styles. We were waiting fifteen years for the big showdown but then AJ failed to stand on his own two feet. It wasn't a big surprise though as Cena always knew he'd have to fight all of the members of the Club if he wanted to fight one, which is why he got laid out last week.
Cue the Club with AJ talking about the Club making their return to Tokyo this past week but the posters were all about John Cena. The Club runs Tokyo and soon they'll run WWE, but first they have to get rid of Cena himself. AJ knows that Cena is loading up that shovel to get rid of him but last week there was no one out to save Cena when he was in trouble. It's because no one relates to him because he's this top star. Instead people relate to the Club, because they have the guts to get it done.
The Club is going to beat him up week after week, including on Labor Day and Halloween, even if it means dressing up like Bushwhacker Luke and Brutus Beefcake. Then on Christmas Day, Anderson is going to wrap presents with his hot Asian wife (his words) and then beat up John Cena. The Club comes down to the ring to beat him up now and the attack is on until Enzo and Big Cass of all people make the save. That's certainly better than the Usos.
The Shining Stars are actually still a thing.
Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya is watching from the back as Summer chokes in the corner to start. We hit the chinlock less than a minute in before Summer botches a suplex, basically dropping Becky on her head. Some clotheslines set up the Bexploder for two before the Disarm-Her makes Summer tap at 2:58.
Chris Jericho wishes the Multi-National Alliance (Yes really. That would be Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Kevin Owens and the Lucha Dragons) a happy Canada Day but a multilingual argument breaks out.
Enzo and Cass shill Sonic.
Here's New Day to talk about the Wyatt Family. We get Deliverance jokes before New Day promises to bring them a bowl of BootyO's. The Wyatts pop up from their compound and say New Day's screams are music to their ears. Bray issues the challenge to come to the compound. Kofi accepts but Woods keeps looking worried. As Big E. promises to spread positivity from the window to the wall, Woods cuts them off and says Bray just knows about fear. This is a bad idea and it's no longer fun and games. If they can't see that, New Day can't survive.
John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club is set for Battleground.
Team USA vs. Multi-Nationa Alliance
USA – Apollo Crews, Big Show, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Zack Ryder
Multi-National Alliance – Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Lucha Dragons
Elimination rules and the foreigners (including Kalisto, who hails from the far off land of Chicago) come to the ring to their national anthems. Owens beats up Ryder to start before it's quickly off to D-Von vs. Cara. This is going to be really hard to keep track of early on. A quick 3D gets rid of Cara at 1:05 and the Brogue Kick does the same to Bubba at 1:12.
Back from a break with Cesaro swinging D-Von into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 5:45. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock but has to fight out of the Sharpshooter attempt. Jericho comes in and the Vader Bomb hits raised boots, setting up the Codebreaker for the elimination at 7:53. Kane comes in but everything breaks down for a huge brawl as we take another break.
Back with Del Rio getting two on Crews off a Backstabber before getting dropkicked out of the air. The hot tag brings in Henry for some slow motion house cleaning, only to have Kalisto dive into the World's Strongest Slam for the elimination at 13:20. Owens comes in and GIVES HENRY A POP UP POWERBOMB for the elimination at 13:35.
That was insane and I was thinking there was no way he could do it but he just did anyway. Ryder is in next but Owens sends him into Sami, triggering the obvious brawl. Kane tags himself in but Owens hits Sami with a chair for the DQ at 14:55. As in Owens is disqualified, though it should really be Kane. Speaking of Kane, he hits Owens with the chair for another DQ at 15:24, despite Owens already being eliminated. Kane chokeslams Sami so Crews adds the standing moonsault for the elimination at 15:49. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews for the elimination at 15:53 and we're rapidly running out of people.
So it's down to Ryder/Big Show vs. Jericho/Sheamus/Del Rio/Cesaro with Jericho beating on Ryder. Cesaro tags himself in and it's time for the uppercut train on Cesaro's own teammates. He loads up the Neutralizer on Ryder but gets rolled up to eliminate Cesaro at 18:41. The announcers treat that way too lightly and it's Sheamus beating on Ryder, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. The hot tag brings in Big Show to start cleaning house with the KO Punch eliminating Jericho at 20:14. Del Rio's low superkick is blocked and a chokeslam gets rid of Alberto at 21:31.
We're down to Sheamus vs. Ryder/Big Show with Show pulling Sheamus back in over the top by the hair. The chokeslam doesn't work though and Sheamus is smart enough to go for the leg. Ryder comes in for his forearms in the corner, only to get caught in the powerslam for two. Show grabs Sheamus by the throat and shoves him into the Rough Ryder for the final pin at 22:18.
Old Glory is lowered and fireworks take us out.
Results
Rusev b. Titus O'Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillins – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 5, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We have arrived. Tonight is the FINAL (Like really the final. We're not lying this time.) match between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy, which naturally is being held at Matt's house in North Carolina instead of in the arena. The idea is the loser can never use the Hardy name again, which would be the second time this stipulation has been in place. Let's get to it.
We open at the Hardy compound with Matt and Reby holding a birthday party for their son Maxill. Matt's gift is expunging the enigma from the family tree and restore honor to the Hardy name. The final deletion takes place tonight at sunset and the gardener is told to prepare the battlefield.
Here are Maria and Mike Bennett to open things up. Mike wants everyone to take notice of the greatest X-Division Champion of all time ever (his words). Bennett has been near perfect since he got here so now it's time to turn that record into gold. He asks someone to come out here so he can cash in the X-Division Title so here's the returning Dixie Carter, a full two weeks since she was last here. She says Option C is in effect tonight but Bennett has to defend his title first. Since the fans want one more match before next week, let's have Bennett defend against the entire X-Division in Ultimate X.
X-Division Title: Mike Bennett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Mandrews vs. Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ
I think that's everyone and it's Bennett defending in Ultimate X (title hung above the ring, climb across the ropes to get to it). DJZ dives over the top to take out Edwards and Everett, leaving Sutter to pull Spud down from the ropes. Spud slaps him in the face but a kick to the face might have knocked Spud's tooth out. Either way it means he's out of the match to calm things down a bit.
Bennett stops Sutter but gets kicked in the head but Eddie kicks him in the head, meaning it's time for everyone to hit something, leaving everyone down so we can have a highlight package three minutes in. Trevor pulls DJZ off the cables and throws him with a German suplex. Lee charges into a spinebuster from Bennett, who tries to jump up and get the title without having to climb across.
Eddie hurricanranas him down before taking out Lee and Helms with a suicide dive. Everett dives on all of them, followed by Sutter and DJZ doing the same. Mandrews goes above the cables to moonsault down onto a bunch of people, leaving Bennett alone in the ring. He still can't climb though so he grabs a ladder, which Eddie baseball slides back into him. Bennett comes back in with the ladder but Eddie kicks it over and wins the title back at 9:45.
We see Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway getting into a fight after last week's main event.
King of the Mountain Title: James Storm vs. Eli Drake
Drake is defending and is quickly knocked out to the floor to start before Storm pounds in some right hands in the corner. Eli comes back with some choking on the ropes and a powerslam. It's already time to bring in the title but Storm comes back with a Sling Blade and Closing Time. Last Call sends Drake outside where he hits Storm with the belt for the DQ at 5:24.
We get a trailer for the Final Deletion, which includes Jeff jumping out of a tree and shooting fireworks. This is going to be......something.
We look back at Ultimate X. It was only half an hour ago and we're already recapping it?
Eddie says he's going to cash in Option C.
Jade vs. Marti Bell
Street fight and Jade charges to the ring to start things off. Marti brings in the cookie sheet but gets taken down in slow motion for some right hands. Some sheet shots knock Jade back and bicycle kicks a trashcan lid into her chest. Jade pops back up and goes off with a kendo stick before putting a trashcan over her head. The package piledriver is countered with a backdrop so Marti gets her baton. Jade busts out some nunchucks to disarm her with ease, followed by the package piledriver onto a chair for the pin at 5:45.
We go to Jeff's house where he's cutting the grass into shapes. Now it's inside where Jeff plays some guitar....and then go to Matt's vision which looks like the Terminator. A drone is seen flying outside the window and various miniature planes attack Jeff, who fends them off with his guitar. A red hologram of Matt comes out of the drone to say tonight is the final deletion. The drone (apparently called Vanguard I) flies away so Jeff chases after it on his motorcycle before we cut to Matt, who rides around on a lawnmower to destroy the art in the yard. I'm actually in awe and that's not a good thing this time.
Mike Bennett and Maria are in the ring to complain about the title change earlier in the night. Maria wants Dixie to come out here right now but gets Billy Corgan instead. Maria immediately sucks up to him but Dixie comes out to interrupt. Dixie tries to calm Maria down as she shouts about how one of them have to leave.
Things finally calm down with Dixie saying she isn't going anywhere while Mike and Maria try to manipulate everyone. Mike says people tune in to see them so Dixie needs to face reality. Maria starts her ME OR YOU until Corgan shouts at her to stop. Billy is sick of hearing this nonsense and if Mike and Maria want to quit, he'll hold the door open for them. Bennett says they're not quitting and promises to ruin Destination X next week.
Back to the compound with Matt telling the gardener to pour gasoline on the ring because it takes a lot of fuel to delete someone.
Decay vs. BroMans/Raquel
Before the match, Godderz says that he and Raquel have been keeping a secret from Robbie because he can't keep secrets. In honor of Big Brother After Dark debuting soon, here's a video of Rosemary kissing Bram backstage. I'm not sure what that has to do with Big Brother After Dark and I'd be more curious to see if they actually wanted to be associated with TNA.
The women brawl to start until Jesse takes over with a dropkick. That's fine with Abyss who comes in and throws Jesse around before cranking on his neck. The hot tag brings in Robbie as everything breaks down. Steve dives into the Adonis Lock but Rosemary makes the save. Raquel dives off the apron to take Rosemary down. Abyss tries to chokeslam Steve onto Robbie but only hits the mat, setting up the BroDown for the pin on Steve at 4:53.
Here's Eddie Edwards to announce his decision. Eddie talks about how important this is but Lashley comes out to cut him off. Lashley talks about how great of a tag wrestler Edwards is but he has no idea what he's getting into. Eddie says he's been through the wars before, including breaking his elbow and winning a ladder match the next day.
That's not enough for Lashley who brings up all the careers he's destroyed. Option C needs to be changed a bit because Lashley wants to make it title for title next week. Eddie agrees that the smart move would be to just keep the X Title and leave but he wants to make history so it's title vs. title. Lashley wants to fight now but the spear is blocked by a running knee to the face. Edwards holds up both titles and Lashley doesn't get back inside.
Final Deletion trailer again.
We get a split screen sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. Ethan calls Drew a hothead and needs to look in the mirror to see the problem. Drew says he does that every single day and he knows Ethan isn't the man he is. All Drew wants is the title and Ethan is someone standing in his way. A challenge is thrown out for next week and Ethan accepts.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
This is outside and in the dark in somewhat rickety looking ring. Before the match, Matt tells the referee (who he makes sure is licensed) to count the pin or call the submission. Matt plays the violin (given to him by Antonio Stradivari, who died in 1737) to summon the enigma. Jeff rides up and Matt tells him to prepare for his deletion. We come back from a break where the gardener reads us a statement saying not to try this. It's in Spanish but it's a nice gesture.
They trade punches to start and the longest stretch without the camera cutting is about four seconds. Jeff superplexes Matt (slow motion) and gets two off a splash before pulling out what appear to be shutters covered in ivy. Matt goes through those for two as we have music playing instead of commentary. Matt takes over with a kendo stick to the back as this is only a match in the loosest of terms.
We've got a ladder less than two minutes in with Jeff being knocked back into the corner and choked with the rungs (Matt: “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”
. The Side Effect onto the ladder is countered and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate before taking his shirt off. The Swanton gets two and Jeff puts the ladder on the middle rope. That's not enough though as he climbs into a tree (yes a tree) and dives off, hitting only the ladder on the way down. That only gets two so Matt hits him with a chair and pulls out a firework cannon to shoot at Jeff, who blocks it with a trashcan lid.
Since that didn't work, Matt pulls out a rake and calls for Brother Nero. Jeff has his own fireworks to shoot at Matt, who hides behind a metal boat as the music switches from something resembling classical to rock. Jeff turns the boat over but gets caught in a sleeper because after fireworks, of course you use wrestling moves. They fall into the water and Jeff disappears with Matt saying he's been flushed. Jeff pops out of the water in full Willow gear and chokes Matt with the umbrella until the gardener comes up with a stun gun to knock Jeff out for the pin at 7:27.
Actually not so fast as Matt takes the mask off and it's....the gardener. Jeff pops back up and knocks Matt into a dirt pit for more choking but lets go when he sees a massive Hardy logo. Jeff climbs onto that as we go to a Wyatt style montage of the birthday party. Reby hands Matt a candle and he sets the symbol on fire to knock Jeff off for the pin at 9:36.
Matt poses to end the show as the symbol burns behind him.
Results
Eddie Edwards b. Mandrews, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Trevor Lee, Mike Bennett, Braxton Sutter and Rockstar Spud – Edwards pulled down the title
James Storm b. Eli Drake via DQ when Drake used the title belt
Jade b. Marti Bell – Package piledriver onto a chair
BroMans/Raquel b. Decay – BroDown to Steve
Matt Hardy b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after Jeff fell off a Hardy symbol
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 6, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We're picking up where last week's show left off with the tag team division getting the focus. Last week saw American Alpha saying they deserve a title shot so tonight it's Alpha vs. the Revival in a 2/3 falls match. These teams have some of the best chemistry you'll see in a long time so this has a lot of potential. Let's get to it.
Quick video on Alpha vs. Revival.
Opening sequence.
Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss
The fans are already into their songs as Bayley gets in an elbow to the back. Apparently Bliss isn't a music lover though as she catapults Bayley throat first into the bottom rope. Bliss stays on the throat with a clothesline and more choking. She skates on Bayley's back for a bit but Bayley just stands up and buckle bombs her to take over. Some running elbows and knees in the corner get two on Alexa but she pops up with one heck of a right hand and we take a break.
Back with Bliss telling the referee that Bayley is fine before being pulled throat first into the middle rope. The psycho eyes leg sweep set up Bliss' knees to the ribs but Bayley breaks up Twisted Bliss. A super Bayley to Belly is blocked but Alexa's sunset bomb only gets two, meaning it's time for Bliss to freak out. I don't know why as she's more than holding her own and giving Bayley a good match. Bayley goes to the middle rope but gets her legs pulled out to send her head into the buckle. Not that it matters as Bayley to Belly puts Bliss away at 11:54.
Post match Bayley says she's still getting up but couldn't stand seeing Nia Jax getting her title shot at the last Takeover.
Video on TM61.
Blake and Murphy vs. Hype Bros
The announcers agree with me that these Blake and Murphy reunions are just getting sad at this point. They argue over a tag ten seconds in but RHYNO comes out and Gores Blake for the DQ at 54 seconds.
Rhyno gores everyone not named Murphy (who got out of the way) and poses a lot.
Long video on Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Finn Balor with people talking about how huge of a match this is because both of them are such important names to NXT and wrestling around the world.
Alpha says the longer their match goes, the better they get.
Samoa Joe is back next week.
Rhyno has no comment.
Tag Team Titles: American Alpha vs. Revival
Revival is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Dash and Chad get things going and Dawson has to pull his partner away from an ankle lock in the first thirty seconds. It's off to Dawson vs. Jordan with the latter spinning around Scott like he's not even there. Dawson takes a swing at Gable and everything breaks down for a bit with Alpha easily cleaning house as we take a break.
Back with the champs working on Jordan's leg with a knee to the hamstring and the leg being wrapped around the post. Gable gets lured in and Wilder gets in a few cheap shots on Jordan. I love old school tactics like that and they still work to this day. Jordan kicks away at the back to get out of a leg lock and the hot tag brings in Gable to take over with clotheslines and an exploder suplex for two on Dawson. Chad runs the ropes but Dash low bridges him to the floor for a nasty crash and we take another break.
Back with Dawson keeping Chad in trouble on the mat before he atomic drops Dash into a legdrop for two. The crowd loses some points with someone shouting “You can do it! You can do it all night long!” but Dawson makes it a bit better by sliding over to break up a hot tag to Jordan. Dawson's strong spinebuster gets two and the fans keep begging with Chad to make the tag.
Gable grabs a sunset flip but Dash doesn't let him get the tag again, which draws in Jordan so the champs can double team Chad in the corner. Again, classic old school tactics and they still work. The Trash Compactor gets two but Chad sends the champs into each other and crawls through the legs for the hot tag to Jordan. Of all the things Alpha excels at, the hot tag to Jordan is the best thing they do as he just goes nuts with right hands and suplexes for everyone.
Everything breaks down and Gable suplexes Dawson, setting up double ankle locks with Dash tapping for the first fall at 23:22. Dawson immediately tries a top rope sunset flip but Jordan drops down into a cradle for two. Scott's DDT gets the same on Jordan and he grabs an inverted Figure Four to make Jason tap at 24:30. Dawson is smart enough to go for the same hold again but Jordan slips out and tags Gable back in for some near falls of his own. A blind tag brings in Jordan but the champs break up Grand Amplitude.
The Shatter Machine is broken up and Jordan's sunset flip gets two on Dawson. Scott kicks off the ankle lock and gets the inverted Figure Four again, only to have Gable dive off the top for the save. The double tag brings in Gable and Dawson who slug it out on the apron with Chad trying the German suplex until Dash makes the save, setting up the Shatter Machine on the apron for the third fall at 28:14.
Results
Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly
Blake and Murphy b. Hype Bros via DQ when Rhyno interfered
Revival b. American Alpha – Shatter Machine to Gable
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: July 7, 2016
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
This is a fresh start for a change as Monday was a completely worthless show thanks to the Fourth of July. We're getting closer to Battleground but more importantly we're less than two weeks away from the Draft which resets everything anyway. In other words there's no way of knowing how good this will be so let's get to it.
The Club is conferencing.
Chris Jericho is trying to find his blue scarf.
Sami Zayn is ready to beat Jericho tonight and make him second best.
Seth Rollins arrives and runs into Jey Uso. Some Samoan family insults are made and a match gets the same treatment. I could go for these quick vignettes becoming a regular thing. It worked for Saturday Night's Main Event and it works here too.
Opening sequence.
Here's Dean Ambrose to say he wants to try his hand as a ring announcer because he could be a taller Howard Finkel.
Jey Uso vs. Seth Rollins
Seth is apparently from a place where he didn't get enough hugs as a child. That's sad. Jey takes over with an early armbar as the fans (or at least the canned versions) are behind the Samoan. Seth gets two off a backbreaker as Dean plugs his new t-shirt and the Seth Rollins ice cream bars but apparently they don't taste very good. A high crossbody gets two on Rollins and there's a suicide dive to take Rollins out again. Dean says that's five minutes (not quite) and asks Seth if it's time to go to a commercial.
Back with Seth hitting his running knee off the apron and throwing on a chinlock. Seth goes to the middle rope but Dean makes an announcement that a 1997 Ford is about to be towed for being in the fire lane. This one doesn't work as well as Seth scores with an enziguri, only to run into a Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and the Pedigree puts Jey away at 10:25.
Dean: “The winner of the match, the human equivalent of a root canal.” Seth bails at the threat of a fight so Ambrose can't raise his hand. Dean: “I'll just raise this instead.” And he holds up the title.
We look back at Sami and Kevin Owens beating Jericho up two weeks ago.
Zack Ryder vs. Sheamus
Ryder has a new rock version of his music and it's actually working for me. Sheamus pounds him down with forearms and clotheslines to start, followed by the forearms to the chest. A slam onto the apron makes things even worse but Ryder kicks him in the face and comes back with more forearms. That just earns him an Irish Curse before Sheamus loads up a superplex. Ryder knocks him off and drops the Elbro for the completely clean pin at 2:43. I know Sheamus isn't what he used to be but this is a big drop off. At least Ryder is getting a push though and that's a good thing.
Ryder wants to get his US Title back and issues the challenge to Rusev.
Baron Corbin video.
Rusev accepts the challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
No match as Natalya jumps Becky from behind and puts her in the Sharpshooter. Naturally she tells Becky to tap, which always makes me chuckle.
We recap the Wyatt Family and New Day from Monday.
Xavier Woods is worried about going to the Wyatt Compound because they have no idea what's going to happen there. Woods isn't happy with what his brothers have decided but he'll stand by them. Did the Wyatts send them directions to get there? Otherwise we could be in for a long scavenger hunt.
Here are Enzo and Big Cass to talk about deciding to help John Cena on Raw. That wasn't about them saving Cena or any personal issue with the Club. Monday was about sending a message to the Club to tell them that they can't beat down anyone they want. This brings out the Club with AJ saying they owe the Club an apology for interrupting them as they beat up John Cena.
Anderson thinks they should beat up Enzo and Cass, then hit some golf balls, have some strawberry shortcake and then BEAT UP JOHN CENA. AJ wants to fight Enzo, who says they're not a good original or a good remix. After one round with Sugar Ray Amore, they'll walk out a diabetic.
AJ Styles vs. Enzo Amore
AJ wrestles him down and smirks a lot, only to have Enzo do the same right back. Enzo sends him outside for a big dive but trips on the top for a big crash onto the floor. Thankfully he gets up and is fine this time with AJ hammering away in the corner. Enzo gets in a dropkick but AJ easily takes him down for a chinlock. Back up and the tornado DDT is countered into a suplex to send Amore crashing into the corner. The big guys get in a fight on the floor as AJ crotches Enzo, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin at 5:37.
Apparently Owens stole Jericho's scarf because he wanted to see if he could get one for his wife. Owens had some popcorn earlier and got the thing all greasy so Jericho demands money to have it cleaned. Kevin drops some change into Jericho's hand but Owens makes sure to get the button back. Jericho wants one more quarter but Owens gives him a Jolly Rancher. Oh and he'll be ringside for Jericho vs. Sami later. Jericho thinks it smells like soup. This was a completely face promo from Owens and he was just as good as always.
The Miz vs. Kalisto
Non-title. This is the result of Kalisto being the one to throw potato salad at Maryse on Monday. Apparently she's allergic so this could have been an international incident. Kalisto starts fast with a top rope corkscrew armdrag to send Miz outside where Maryse prevents a dive. Miz sends him into the steps and we take an early break. Back with Miz working on the back with some forearms before he charges into Kalisto's raised boots. Miz comes right back with a slingshot powerbomb for two before sidestepping the corkscrew forearm. The Skull Crushing Finale puts Kalisto away at 7:54.
Sasha Banks talks about how awesome she is when Charlotte comes in dressed as Banks. Insults are exchanged and Sasha vs. Dana is set for Monday. Charlotte throws down her Sasha gear because it's not her look.
We get Monday's Darren Young/Bob Backlund segment. This has to be close to the last one.
Brock Lesnar's official opponent for Summerslam is......Randy Orton. Scott Standford, Booker T., and Corey Graves preview the match a bit from WWE world headquarters.
Golden Truth plugs Sonic with Truth putting the food on top of a ladder to get ready for Money in the Bank. This was no “we got a couple of taters” from Monday.
Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho
Kevin Owens is at ringside and starts ripping on Byron before his music even ends. Owens: “Hi Sami! Hope you have a good match! I hope you break your ankle.” Jericho wristlocks him down for a bit until Sami scores with three straight armdrags. They head outside with Sami hitting his barricade moonsault but Jericho punches him in the face and mocks the OLE chants as we take a break.
Back with the Lionsault (Owens: “I taught him how to do that.” connecting for two before we hit the chinlock. Jericho: “WHERE'S THE OLE??” Sami comes back but Jericho bails to the floor, only to take one of those running clotheslines. Back in and Owens talks about wanting to see Jericho kick Sami in the face, which is exactly what Chris does a second later.
Sami tornado DDTs Jericho to the floor for the big flip dive but Sami goes to take out Owens so Jericho can take over again. The exploder suplex sends Jericho into the corner but the Helluva Kick has to take Owens down. Jericho's Walls attempt is countered into a quick rollup to give Sami the upset pin at 12:12.
Jericho lays Sami out and Owens comes in for a Pop Up Powerbomb to leave Sami laying as the show ends.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Pedigree
Zack Ryder b. Sheamus – Elbro
AJ Styles b. Enzo Amore – Styles Clash
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Rollup
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Rusev b. Titus O'Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillins – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
Impact Wrestling
Eddie Edwards b. Mandrews, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Trevor Lee, Mike Bennett, Braxton Sutter and Rockstar Spud – Edwards pulled down the title
James Storm b. Eli Drake via DQ when Drake used the title belt
Jade b. Marti Bell – Package piledriver onto a chair
BroMans/Raquel b. Decay – BroDown to Steve
Matt Hardy b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after Jeff fell off a Hardy symbol
NXT
Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly
Blake and Murphy b. Hype Bros via DQ when Rhyno interfered
Revival b. American Alpha – Shatter Machine to Gable
Smackdown
Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Pedigree
Zack Ryder b. Sheamus – Elbro
AJ Styles b. Enzo Amore – Styles Clash
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Rollup
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2016
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Now this should be interesting as it's another show where almost no one is going to be watching, meaning WWE isn't likely to put much, if any, effort into the show. There's a US Title match between Rusev and Titus O'Neil plus a big US vs. The World elimination tag match which will likely get a lot of time. Let's get to it.
We open at the roster's Fourth of July party with Golden Truth rapping in the background. The Vaudevillains take their place with English singing the Declaration of Independence, only to have food thrown at him. Miz and Maryse (who should wear red more often) go into a rant about how this is why we can't celebrate holidays anymore, which turns into an ad for Smackdown going live in two weeks.
A massive food fight breaks out with Kane and Big Show getting into a chokeslam battle until Heath Slater throws something at them, earning himself a chokeslam through a table. Everyone else leaves with only Kevin Owens sitting at a table. Owens: “This would never happen on Canada Day.” Someone hits him with a pie and Owens freaks out. Total filler but it's tradition at this point.
Opening sequence.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as we have red white and blue ropes again.
US Title: Rusev vs. Titus O'Neil
Rusev is defending and yes this is actually happening again. Titus is dressed like Apollo Creed for a nice touch. This is joined in progress after a break with Titus throwing Rusev around with ease before being tossed/suplexed out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Titus fights up for the slugout. Some shoulders and a big boot put Rusev down, followed by a powerslam for no cover. The Clash of the Titus gets two and the announcers basically admit that it's over. Rusev gets in some kicks to the head and the Accolade ends this at 5:53.
Miz vs. Ambrose tonight in your weekly Smackdown rematch.
Here are the Social Outcasts dressed as minutemen but are quickly cut off by Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo thinks we should have some star spangled banter because they're stars and take meteor showers. Amore lists off the Presidents in order and it's time for a match.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Social Outcasts
Bo and Curtis since Heath is still banged up from earlier. Enzo gets beaten down for all of a minute before Cass comes in to clean house with the usual. A big boot sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka for the pin on Dallas at 2:03. In other words, the people dressed as the old school Americans get squashed.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke with something to say. Charlotte talks about people being jealous of her and the proof is around her waist. It must be eating Sasha alive that Charlotte is the champ and all she has is a WE WANT SASHA chant. There is no one that has done more than Charlotte this year because Sasha is all hype.
Cue Sasha to say Charlotte can be champion but she'll never be Sasha. Charlotte doesn't want to be here but Sasha says she would be champion if not for Charlotte's daddy. We get the very good question of what it means to be the boss. Charlotte has been champion for most of the time since they debuted in WWE a year ago so she's the legit boss. Sasha talks about how a boss fights all the time and is about to fight now but Dana's distraction lets Charlotte kick Sasha in the face. That earns her a Bank Statement with Dana making the save before Charlotte can tap.
Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Non-title and another Smackdown rematch that won't be billed as a rematch because Smackdown means nothing. Dean starts fast and clotheslines Miz out to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Miz reverses a whip and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose fighting back but getting dropkicked in the knee for his efforts.
We hit the Figure Four for a bit as JBL goes on his same rant about how you can't put Ambrose's face on billboards or have him on Jimmy Fallon, even though NO ONE BUT CENA (and occasionally Reigns) EVER DOES ANY OF THAT STUFF. Miz's top rope ax handle is countered and Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive. Ambrose is nice enough to hold his leg after the dive connects. Back in and Miz kicks him in the face, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 9:42.
Post match here's Seth Rollins for his match and a quick staredown with Ambrose that goes nowhere. Dean changes his mind and comes back to do commentary as it's time to rip off Dean Ambrose from a few months ago.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and Dean switches from Spanish commentary to English as they get started. They hit the mat to start with Ziggler sending Rollins outside. Seth comes back in for some stomps and an enziguri to knock Dolph to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dolph getting a faceplant off the top for two, followed by Rollins' low superkick getting the same. Ziggler evens the superkick score for another near fall, only to have the Zig Zag countered into the Pedigree for the pin at 11:18.
Post match Rollins gets on the announcers' table to rant about his legacy. He still thinks Reigns should be taken out of the triple threat because Reigns hasn't worked for anything a day in his life. Ambrose gets on the other announcers' table so Rollins can yell at him a bit before the fight is on. Rollins gets the worst of it though and it's Dirty Deeds onto the table, which doesn't break.
We get an old school Wyatt Family video with them talking about how New Day's reality doesn't really exist. They invite New Day into their world because the power of positivity is a myth believed only by fools and children. Join them.
Video on Baron Corbin. You don't see this kind of thing often enough.
Here's Vickie Guerrero to say she should be in charge of Smackdown. This goes on for a good while until security takes her away. Cole calls this very strange, despite it happening every week for the last month.
Big Show gives Team America (Zack Ryder, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Apollo Crews, Mark Henry and Jack Swagger) a pep talk about how it doesn't matter where you're from. Naturally the Battle Hymn of the Republic is playing in the background.
Vickie is being taken away when she runs into ex-boyfriend Dolph Ziggler.....who says he's never seen her before so she should be taken away.
Golden Truth vs. Vaudevillains
Breezango is at ringside. Truth and Gotch start things off with Simon taking a kick to the face. A double tag brings in Goldust to work on English, including a bulldog for no cover. Everything breaks down and Truth tags himself in, setting up a powerbomb/side slam combo (Solid Gold) for the pin on English at 1:31. I'm so glad they brought the Vaudevillains up for something like this. Breezango did nothing.
Bob Backlund wants Darren Young to live a problem free life. His advice is to make his problems bend to his will. Then he asks about Young's finisher, which is still the Gut Check. Backlund isn't cool with the fact that Darren doesn't have a submission hold so he suggests the Crossface Chickenwing, which he officially gives to Young. See, Backlund believes in Darren and wants him to be great again.
Here's John Cena to suggest that the crowd isn't as fired up as they normally are. They seem a little disappointed tonight but maybe they need to find that energy they had the first time he stood face to face with AJ Styles. We were waiting fifteen years for the big showdown but then AJ failed to stand on his own two feet. It wasn't a big surprise though as Cena always knew he'd have to fight all of the members of the Club if he wanted to fight one, which is why he got laid out last week.
Cue the Club with AJ talking about the Club making their return to Tokyo this past week but the posters were all about John Cena. The Club runs Tokyo and soon they'll run WWE, but first they have to get rid of Cena himself. AJ knows that Cena is loading up that shovel to get rid of him but last week there was no one out to save Cena when he was in trouble. It's because no one relates to him because he's this top star. Instead people relate to the Club, because they have the guts to get it done.
The Club is going to beat him up week after week, including on Labor Day and Halloween, even if it means dressing up like Bushwhacker Luke and Brutus Beefcake. Then on Christmas Day, Anderson is going to wrap presents with his hot Asian wife (his words) and then beat up John Cena. The Club comes down to the ring to beat him up now and the attack is on until Enzo and Big Cass of all people make the save. That's certainly better than the Usos.
The Shining Stars are actually still a thing.
Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya is watching from the back as Summer chokes in the corner to start. We hit the chinlock less than a minute in before Summer botches a suplex, basically dropping Becky on her head. Some clotheslines set up the Bexploder for two before the Disarm-Her makes Summer tap at 2:58.
Chris Jericho wishes the Multi-National Alliance (Yes really. That would be Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Kevin Owens and the Lucha Dragons) a happy Canada Day but a multilingual argument breaks out.
Enzo and Cass shill Sonic.
Here's New Day to talk about the Wyatt Family. We get Deliverance jokes before New Day promises to bring them a bowl of BootyO's. The Wyatts pop up from their compound and say New Day's screams are music to their ears. Bray issues the challenge to come to the compound. Kofi accepts but Woods keeps looking worried. As Big E. promises to spread positivity from the window to the wall, Woods cuts them off and says Bray just knows about fear. This is a bad idea and it's no longer fun and games. If they can't see that, New Day can't survive.
John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club is set for Battleground.
Team USA vs. Multi-Nationa Alliance
USA – Apollo Crews, Big Show, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Zack Ryder
Multi-National Alliance – Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Lucha Dragons
Elimination rules and the foreigners (including Kalisto, who hails from the far off land of Chicago) come to the ring to their national anthems. Owens beats up Ryder to start before it's quickly off to D-Von vs. Cara. This is going to be really hard to keep track of early on. A quick 3D gets rid of Cara at 1:05 and the Brogue Kick does the same to Bubba at 1:12.
Back from a break with Cesaro swinging D-Von into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 5:45. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock but has to fight out of the Sharpshooter attempt. Jericho comes in and the Vader Bomb hits raised boots, setting up the Codebreaker for the elimination at 7:53. Kane comes in but everything breaks down for a huge brawl as we take another break.
Back with Del Rio getting two on Crews off a Backstabber before getting dropkicked out of the air. The hot tag brings in Henry for some slow motion house cleaning, only to have Kalisto dive into the World's Strongest Slam for the elimination at 13:20. Owens comes in and GIVES HENRY A POP UP POWERBOMB for the elimination at 13:35.
That was insane and I was thinking there was no way he could do it but he just did anyway. Ryder is in next but Owens sends him into Sami, triggering the obvious brawl. Kane tags himself in but Owens hits Sami with a chair for the DQ at 14:55. As in Owens is disqualified, though it should really be Kane. Speaking of Kane, he hits Owens with the chair for another DQ at 15:24, despite Owens already being eliminated. Kane chokeslams Sami so Crews adds the standing moonsault for the elimination at 15:49. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews for the elimination at 15:53 and we're rapidly running out of people.
So it's down to Ryder/Big Show vs. Jericho/Sheamus/Del Rio/Cesaro with Jericho beating on Ryder. Cesaro tags himself in and it's time for the uppercut train on Cesaro's own teammates. He loads up the Neutralizer on Ryder but gets rolled up to eliminate Cesaro at 18:41. The announcers treat that way too lightly and it's Sheamus beating on Ryder, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. The hot tag brings in Big Show to start cleaning house with the KO Punch eliminating Jericho at 20:14. Del Rio's low superkick is blocked and a chokeslam gets rid of Alberto at 21:31.
We're down to Sheamus vs. Ryder/Big Show with Show pulling Sheamus back in over the top by the hair. The chokeslam doesn't work though and Sheamus is smart enough to go for the leg. Ryder comes in for his forearms in the corner, only to get caught in the powerslam for two. Show grabs Sheamus by the throat and shoves him into the Rough Ryder for the final pin at 22:18.
Old Glory is lowered and fireworks take us out.
Results
Rusev b. Titus O'Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillins – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 5, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We have arrived. Tonight is the FINAL (Like really the final. We're not lying this time.) match between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy, which naturally is being held at Matt's house in North Carolina instead of in the arena. The idea is the loser can never use the Hardy name again, which would be the second time this stipulation has been in place. Let's get to it.
We open at the Hardy compound with Matt and Reby holding a birthday party for their son Maxill. Matt's gift is expunging the enigma from the family tree and restore honor to the Hardy name. The final deletion takes place tonight at sunset and the gardener is told to prepare the battlefield.
Here are Maria and Mike Bennett to open things up. Mike wants everyone to take notice of the greatest X-Division Champion of all time ever (his words). Bennett has been near perfect since he got here so now it's time to turn that record into gold. He asks someone to come out here so he can cash in the X-Division Title so here's the returning Dixie Carter, a full two weeks since she was last here. She says Option C is in effect tonight but Bennett has to defend his title first. Since the fans want one more match before next week, let's have Bennett defend against the entire X-Division in Ultimate X.
X-Division Title: Mike Bennett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Mandrews vs. Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ
I think that's everyone and it's Bennett defending in Ultimate X (title hung above the ring, climb across the ropes to get to it). DJZ dives over the top to take out Edwards and Everett, leaving Sutter to pull Spud down from the ropes. Spud slaps him in the face but a kick to the face might have knocked Spud's tooth out. Either way it means he's out of the match to calm things down a bit.
Bennett stops Sutter but gets kicked in the head but Eddie kicks him in the head, meaning it's time for everyone to hit something, leaving everyone down so we can have a highlight package three minutes in. Trevor pulls DJZ off the cables and throws him with a German suplex. Lee charges into a spinebuster from Bennett, who tries to jump up and get the title without having to climb across.
Eddie hurricanranas him down before taking out Lee and Helms with a suicide dive. Everett dives on all of them, followed by Sutter and DJZ doing the same. Mandrews goes above the cables to moonsault down onto a bunch of people, leaving Bennett alone in the ring. He still can't climb though so he grabs a ladder, which Eddie baseball slides back into him. Bennett comes back in with the ladder but Eddie kicks it over and wins the title back at 9:45.
We see Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway getting into a fight after last week's main event.
King of the Mountain Title: James Storm vs. Eli Drake
Drake is defending and is quickly knocked out to the floor to start before Storm pounds in some right hands in the corner. Eli comes back with some choking on the ropes and a powerslam. It's already time to bring in the title but Storm comes back with a Sling Blade and Closing Time. Last Call sends Drake outside where he hits Storm with the belt for the DQ at 5:24.
We get a trailer for the Final Deletion, which includes Jeff jumping out of a tree and shooting fireworks. This is going to be......something.
We look back at Ultimate X. It was only half an hour ago and we're already recapping it?
Eddie says he's going to cash in Option C.
Jade vs. Marti Bell
Street fight and Jade charges to the ring to start things off. Marti brings in the cookie sheet but gets taken down in slow motion for some right hands. Some sheet shots knock Jade back and bicycle kicks a trashcan lid into her chest. Jade pops back up and goes off with a kendo stick before putting a trashcan over her head. The package piledriver is countered with a backdrop so Marti gets her baton. Jade busts out some nunchucks to disarm her with ease, followed by the package piledriver onto a chair for the pin at 5:45.
We go to Jeff's house where he's cutting the grass into shapes. Now it's inside where Jeff plays some guitar....and then go to Matt's vision which looks like the Terminator. A drone is seen flying outside the window and various miniature planes attack Jeff, who fends them off with his guitar. A red hologram of Matt comes out of the drone to say tonight is the final deletion. The drone (apparently called Vanguard I) flies away so Jeff chases after it on his motorcycle before we cut to Matt, who rides around on a lawnmower to destroy the art in the yard. I'm actually in awe and that's not a good thing this time.
Mike Bennett and Maria are in the ring to complain about the title change earlier in the night. Maria wants Dixie to come out here right now but gets Billy Corgan instead. Maria immediately sucks up to him but Dixie comes out to interrupt. Dixie tries to calm Maria down as she shouts about how one of them have to leave.
Things finally calm down with Dixie saying she isn't going anywhere while Mike and Maria try to manipulate everyone. Mike says people tune in to see them so Dixie needs to face reality. Maria starts her ME OR YOU until Corgan shouts at her to stop. Billy is sick of hearing this nonsense and if Mike and Maria want to quit, he'll hold the door open for them. Bennett says they're not quitting and promises to ruin Destination X next week.
Back to the compound with Matt telling the gardener to pour gasoline on the ring because it takes a lot of fuel to delete someone.
Decay vs. BroMans/Raquel
Before the match, Godderz says that he and Raquel have been keeping a secret from Robbie because he can't keep secrets. In honor of Big Brother After Dark debuting soon, here's a video of Rosemary kissing Bram backstage. I'm not sure what that has to do with Big Brother After Dark and I'd be more curious to see if they actually wanted to be associated with TNA.
The women brawl to start until Jesse takes over with a dropkick. That's fine with Abyss who comes in and throws Jesse around before cranking on his neck. The hot tag brings in Robbie as everything breaks down. Steve dives into the Adonis Lock but Rosemary makes the save. Raquel dives off the apron to take Rosemary down. Abyss tries to chokeslam Steve onto Robbie but only hits the mat, setting up the BroDown for the pin on Steve at 4:53.
Here's Eddie Edwards to announce his decision. Eddie talks about how important this is but Lashley comes out to cut him off. Lashley talks about how great of a tag wrestler Edwards is but he has no idea what he's getting into. Eddie says he's been through the wars before, including breaking his elbow and winning a ladder match the next day.
That's not enough for Lashley who brings up all the careers he's destroyed. Option C needs to be changed a bit because Lashley wants to make it title for title next week. Eddie agrees that the smart move would be to just keep the X Title and leave but he wants to make history so it's title vs. title. Lashley wants to fight now but the spear is blocked by a running knee to the face. Edwards holds up both titles and Lashley doesn't get back inside.
Final Deletion trailer again.
We get a split screen sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. Ethan calls Drew a hothead and needs to look in the mirror to see the problem. Drew says he does that every single day and he knows Ethan isn't the man he is. All Drew wants is the title and Ethan is someone standing in his way. A challenge is thrown out for next week and Ethan accepts.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
This is outside and in the dark in somewhat rickety looking ring. Before the match, Matt tells the referee (who he makes sure is licensed) to count the pin or call the submission. Matt plays the violin (given to him by Antonio Stradivari, who died in 1737) to summon the enigma. Jeff rides up and Matt tells him to prepare for his deletion. We come back from a break where the gardener reads us a statement saying not to try this. It's in Spanish but it's a nice gesture.
They trade punches to start and the longest stretch without the camera cutting is about four seconds. Jeff superplexes Matt (slow motion) and gets two off a splash before pulling out what appear to be shutters covered in ivy. Matt goes through those for two as we have music playing instead of commentary. Matt takes over with a kendo stick to the back as this is only a match in the loosest of terms.
We've got a ladder less than two minutes in with Jeff being knocked back into the corner and choked with the rungs (Matt: “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”
. The Side Effect onto the ladder is countered and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate before taking his shirt off. The Swanton gets two and Jeff puts the ladder on the middle rope. That's not enough though as he climbs into a tree (yes a tree) and dives off, hitting only the ladder on the way down. That only gets two so Matt hits him with a chair and pulls out a firework cannon to shoot at Jeff, who blocks it with a trashcan lid.Since that didn't work, Matt pulls out a rake and calls for Brother Nero. Jeff has his own fireworks to shoot at Matt, who hides behind a metal boat as the music switches from something resembling classical to rock. Jeff turns the boat over but gets caught in a sleeper because after fireworks, of course you use wrestling moves. They fall into the water and Jeff disappears with Matt saying he's been flushed. Jeff pops out of the water in full Willow gear and chokes Matt with the umbrella until the gardener comes up with a stun gun to knock Jeff out for the pin at 7:27.
Actually not so fast as Matt takes the mask off and it's....the gardener. Jeff pops back up and knocks Matt into a dirt pit for more choking but lets go when he sees a massive Hardy logo. Jeff climbs onto that as we go to a Wyatt style montage of the birthday party. Reby hands Matt a candle and he sets the symbol on fire to knock Jeff off for the pin at 9:36.
Matt poses to end the show as the symbol burns behind him.
Results
Eddie Edwards b. Mandrews, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Trevor Lee, Mike Bennett, Braxton Sutter and Rockstar Spud – Edwards pulled down the title
James Storm b. Eli Drake via DQ when Drake used the title belt
Jade b. Marti Bell – Package piledriver onto a chair
BroMans/Raquel b. Decay – BroDown to Steve
Matt Hardy b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after Jeff fell off a Hardy symbol
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 6, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We're picking up where last week's show left off with the tag team division getting the focus. Last week saw American Alpha saying they deserve a title shot so tonight it's Alpha vs. the Revival in a 2/3 falls match. These teams have some of the best chemistry you'll see in a long time so this has a lot of potential. Let's get to it.
Quick video on Alpha vs. Revival.
Opening sequence.
Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss
The fans are already into their songs as Bayley gets in an elbow to the back. Apparently Bliss isn't a music lover though as she catapults Bayley throat first into the bottom rope. Bliss stays on the throat with a clothesline and more choking. She skates on Bayley's back for a bit but Bayley just stands up and buckle bombs her to take over. Some running elbows and knees in the corner get two on Alexa but she pops up with one heck of a right hand and we take a break.
Back with Bliss telling the referee that Bayley is fine before being pulled throat first into the middle rope. The psycho eyes leg sweep set up Bliss' knees to the ribs but Bayley breaks up Twisted Bliss. A super Bayley to Belly is blocked but Alexa's sunset bomb only gets two, meaning it's time for Bliss to freak out. I don't know why as she's more than holding her own and giving Bayley a good match. Bayley goes to the middle rope but gets her legs pulled out to send her head into the buckle. Not that it matters as Bayley to Belly puts Bliss away at 11:54.
Post match Bayley says she's still getting up but couldn't stand seeing Nia Jax getting her title shot at the last Takeover.
Video on TM61.
Blake and Murphy vs. Hype Bros
The announcers agree with me that these Blake and Murphy reunions are just getting sad at this point. They argue over a tag ten seconds in but RHYNO comes out and Gores Blake for the DQ at 54 seconds.
Rhyno gores everyone not named Murphy (who got out of the way) and poses a lot.
Long video on Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Finn Balor with people talking about how huge of a match this is because both of them are such important names to NXT and wrestling around the world.
Alpha says the longer their match goes, the better they get.
Samoa Joe is back next week.
Rhyno has no comment.
Tag Team Titles: American Alpha vs. Revival
Revival is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Dash and Chad get things going and Dawson has to pull his partner away from an ankle lock in the first thirty seconds. It's off to Dawson vs. Jordan with the latter spinning around Scott like he's not even there. Dawson takes a swing at Gable and everything breaks down for a bit with Alpha easily cleaning house as we take a break.
Back with the champs working on Jordan's leg with a knee to the hamstring and the leg being wrapped around the post. Gable gets lured in and Wilder gets in a few cheap shots on Jordan. I love old school tactics like that and they still work to this day. Jordan kicks away at the back to get out of a leg lock and the hot tag brings in Gable to take over with clotheslines and an exploder suplex for two on Dawson. Chad runs the ropes but Dash low bridges him to the floor for a nasty crash and we take another break.
Back with Dawson keeping Chad in trouble on the mat before he atomic drops Dash into a legdrop for two. The crowd loses some points with someone shouting “You can do it! You can do it all night long!” but Dawson makes it a bit better by sliding over to break up a hot tag to Jordan. Dawson's strong spinebuster gets two and the fans keep begging with Chad to make the tag.
Gable grabs a sunset flip but Dash doesn't let him get the tag again, which draws in Jordan so the champs can double team Chad in the corner. Again, classic old school tactics and they still work. The Trash Compactor gets two but Chad sends the champs into each other and crawls through the legs for the hot tag to Jordan. Of all the things Alpha excels at, the hot tag to Jordan is the best thing they do as he just goes nuts with right hands and suplexes for everyone.
Everything breaks down and Gable suplexes Dawson, setting up double ankle locks with Dash tapping for the first fall at 23:22. Dawson immediately tries a top rope sunset flip but Jordan drops down into a cradle for two. Scott's DDT gets the same on Jordan and he grabs an inverted Figure Four to make Jason tap at 24:30. Dawson is smart enough to go for the same hold again but Jordan slips out and tags Gable back in for some near falls of his own. A blind tag brings in Jordan but the champs break up Grand Amplitude.
The Shatter Machine is broken up and Jordan's sunset flip gets two on Dawson. Scott kicks off the ankle lock and gets the inverted Figure Four again, only to have Gable dive off the top for the save. The double tag brings in Gable and Dawson who slug it out on the apron with Chad trying the German suplex until Dash makes the save, setting up the Shatter Machine on the apron for the third fall at 28:14.
Results
Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly
Blake and Murphy b. Hype Bros via DQ when Rhyno interfered
Revival b. American Alpha – Shatter Machine to Gable
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: July 7, 2016
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
This is a fresh start for a change as Monday was a completely worthless show thanks to the Fourth of July. We're getting closer to Battleground but more importantly we're less than two weeks away from the Draft which resets everything anyway. In other words there's no way of knowing how good this will be so let's get to it.
The Club is conferencing.
Chris Jericho is trying to find his blue scarf.
Sami Zayn is ready to beat Jericho tonight and make him second best.
Seth Rollins arrives and runs into Jey Uso. Some Samoan family insults are made and a match gets the same treatment. I could go for these quick vignettes becoming a regular thing. It worked for Saturday Night's Main Event and it works here too.
Opening sequence.
Here's Dean Ambrose to say he wants to try his hand as a ring announcer because he could be a taller Howard Finkel.
Jey Uso vs. Seth Rollins
Seth is apparently from a place where he didn't get enough hugs as a child. That's sad. Jey takes over with an early armbar as the fans (or at least the canned versions) are behind the Samoan. Seth gets two off a backbreaker as Dean plugs his new t-shirt and the Seth Rollins ice cream bars but apparently they don't taste very good. A high crossbody gets two on Rollins and there's a suicide dive to take Rollins out again. Dean says that's five minutes (not quite) and asks Seth if it's time to go to a commercial.
Back with Seth hitting his running knee off the apron and throwing on a chinlock. Seth goes to the middle rope but Dean makes an announcement that a 1997 Ford is about to be towed for being in the fire lane. This one doesn't work as well as Seth scores with an enziguri, only to run into a Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and the Pedigree puts Jey away at 10:25.
Dean: “The winner of the match, the human equivalent of a root canal.” Seth bails at the threat of a fight so Ambrose can't raise his hand. Dean: “I'll just raise this instead.” And he holds up the title.
We look back at Sami and Kevin Owens beating Jericho up two weeks ago.
Zack Ryder vs. Sheamus
Ryder has a new rock version of his music and it's actually working for me. Sheamus pounds him down with forearms and clotheslines to start, followed by the forearms to the chest. A slam onto the apron makes things even worse but Ryder kicks him in the face and comes back with more forearms. That just earns him an Irish Curse before Sheamus loads up a superplex. Ryder knocks him off and drops the Elbro for the completely clean pin at 2:43. I know Sheamus isn't what he used to be but this is a big drop off. At least Ryder is getting a push though and that's a good thing.
Ryder wants to get his US Title back and issues the challenge to Rusev.
Baron Corbin video.
Rusev accepts the challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
No match as Natalya jumps Becky from behind and puts her in the Sharpshooter. Naturally she tells Becky to tap, which always makes me chuckle.
We recap the Wyatt Family and New Day from Monday.
Xavier Woods is worried about going to the Wyatt Compound because they have no idea what's going to happen there. Woods isn't happy with what his brothers have decided but he'll stand by them. Did the Wyatts send them directions to get there? Otherwise we could be in for a long scavenger hunt.
Here are Enzo and Big Cass to talk about deciding to help John Cena on Raw. That wasn't about them saving Cena or any personal issue with the Club. Monday was about sending a message to the Club to tell them that they can't beat down anyone they want. This brings out the Club with AJ saying they owe the Club an apology for interrupting them as they beat up John Cena.
Anderson thinks they should beat up Enzo and Cass, then hit some golf balls, have some strawberry shortcake and then BEAT UP JOHN CENA. AJ wants to fight Enzo, who says they're not a good original or a good remix. After one round with Sugar Ray Amore, they'll walk out a diabetic.
AJ Styles vs. Enzo Amore
AJ wrestles him down and smirks a lot, only to have Enzo do the same right back. Enzo sends him outside for a big dive but trips on the top for a big crash onto the floor. Thankfully he gets up and is fine this time with AJ hammering away in the corner. Enzo gets in a dropkick but AJ easily takes him down for a chinlock. Back up and the tornado DDT is countered into a suplex to send Amore crashing into the corner. The big guys get in a fight on the floor as AJ crotches Enzo, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin at 5:37.
Apparently Owens stole Jericho's scarf because he wanted to see if he could get one for his wife. Owens had some popcorn earlier and got the thing all greasy so Jericho demands money to have it cleaned. Kevin drops some change into Jericho's hand but Owens makes sure to get the button back. Jericho wants one more quarter but Owens gives him a Jolly Rancher. Oh and he'll be ringside for Jericho vs. Sami later. Jericho thinks it smells like soup. This was a completely face promo from Owens and he was just as good as always.
The Miz vs. Kalisto
Non-title. This is the result of Kalisto being the one to throw potato salad at Maryse on Monday. Apparently she's allergic so this could have been an international incident. Kalisto starts fast with a top rope corkscrew armdrag to send Miz outside where Maryse prevents a dive. Miz sends him into the steps and we take an early break. Back with Miz working on the back with some forearms before he charges into Kalisto's raised boots. Miz comes right back with a slingshot powerbomb for two before sidestepping the corkscrew forearm. The Skull Crushing Finale puts Kalisto away at 7:54.
Sasha Banks talks about how awesome she is when Charlotte comes in dressed as Banks. Insults are exchanged and Sasha vs. Dana is set for Monday. Charlotte throws down her Sasha gear because it's not her look.
We get Monday's Darren Young/Bob Backlund segment. This has to be close to the last one.
Brock Lesnar's official opponent for Summerslam is......Randy Orton. Scott Standford, Booker T., and Corey Graves preview the match a bit from WWE world headquarters.
Golden Truth plugs Sonic with Truth putting the food on top of a ladder to get ready for Money in the Bank. This was no “we got a couple of taters” from Monday.
Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho
Kevin Owens is at ringside and starts ripping on Byron before his music even ends. Owens: “Hi Sami! Hope you have a good match! I hope you break your ankle.” Jericho wristlocks him down for a bit until Sami scores with three straight armdrags. They head outside with Sami hitting his barricade moonsault but Jericho punches him in the face and mocks the OLE chants as we take a break.
Back with the Lionsault (Owens: “I taught him how to do that.”
connecting for two before we hit the chinlock. Jericho: “WHERE'S THE OLE??” Sami comes back but Jericho bails to the floor, only to take one of those running clotheslines. Back in and Owens talks about wanting to see Jericho kick Sami in the face, which is exactly what Chris does a second later.Sami tornado DDTs Jericho to the floor for the big flip dive but Sami goes to take out Owens so Jericho can take over again. The exploder suplex sends Jericho into the corner but the Helluva Kick has to take Owens down. Jericho's Walls attempt is countered into a quick rollup to give Sami the upset pin at 12:12.
Jericho lays Sami out and Owens comes in for a Pop Up Powerbomb to leave Sami laying as the show ends.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Pedigree
Zack Ryder b. Sheamus – Elbro
AJ Styles b. Enzo Amore – Styles Clash
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Rollup
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Rusev b. Titus O'Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillins – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
Impact Wrestling
Eddie Edwards b. Mandrews, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Trevor Lee, Mike Bennett, Braxton Sutter and Rockstar Spud – Edwards pulled down the title
James Storm b. Eli Drake via DQ when Drake used the title belt
Jade b. Marti Bell – Package piledriver onto a chair
BroMans/Raquel b. Decay – BroDown to Steve
Matt Hardy b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after Jeff fell off a Hardy symbol
NXT
Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly
Blake and Murphy b. Hype Bros via DQ when Rhyno interfered
Revival b. American Alpha – Shatter Machine to Gable
Smackdown
Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Pedigree
Zack Ryder b. Sheamus – Elbro
AJ Styles b. Enzo Amore – Styles Clash
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Rollup