klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshawn Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal this week, or at least as back to normal as they're going to be with just one more Raw after this before the Draft takes place. The only major event announced for tonight is Zack Ryder challenging Rusev for the United States Title after beating Sheamus twice last week. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Battle Royal
Goldust, Darren Young, Apollo Crews, Viktor, Konnor, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Dolph Ziggler, Bo Dallas, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, R-Truth, Baron Corbin, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel
Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Battleground so Miz and Maryse are on commentary. English is put out early and he lands near Bob Backlund, who is managing Young. R-Truth puts out Viktor and Bubba (Not D-Von, Cole.) gets rid of Axel. There goes Truth and Konnor follows him out. One Uso tries to eliminate the other but they settle with a double superkick to get rid of D-Von as we go to a break.
Back with Gotch and Jey having been eliminated during the break. Del Rio gets rid of Goldust and Crews eliminates Dallas as the ring is emptying out. Jimmy and Swagger are thrown out so we're down to Crews, Bubba, Young, Del Rio, Corbin and Ziggler. Crews low bridges Bubba out and Del Rio is the only one left standing. Ziggler drops him with a Fameasser and goes for a cover out of instinct. That's not enough to eliminate him though as Alberto comes back with a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster.
Alberto misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Ziggler to superkick him to the floor which isn't an elimination. Corbin sends Dolph to the apron but can't get him out. Del Rio comes back in and gets backdropped out by Crews to put us down to four. Corbin gets rid of Ziggler but Crews gets rid of himself and Corbin, leaving Young to win the thing at 13:20.
Backlund picks Young up to celebrate.
Shane and Stephanie McMahon are talking about why Vince McMahon is going to be here tonight. Maybe it's to give one of them a promotion. Seth Rollins comes in and thinks Vince is here to see about him as the face of the WWE. Rollins has footage for tonight and Shane thinks it should be on the Ambrose Asylum. Stephanie says no because she hates Dean (Have we ever gotten a reason other than he's apparently an embarrassment to the company?) so Seth will get to debut the Rollins Report. Great. EVEN MORE talking.
Quick look at Brock Lesnar winning his return to the UFC on Saturday before he faces Randy Orton at Summerslam. Orton will be on the Highlight Reel at Battleground.
Zack Ryder comes up to challenge Rusev again but Sheamus jumps him from behind. Apparently there's no title match tonight because Ryder will be facing Sheamus next. Three WOO's for false advertising!
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder goes right after him to start and knocks Sheamus to the floor for a dropkick off the apron. Back in and a running boot to the face gets two for Zack as the announcers ignore the match to play fantasy draft. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick ends Ryder at 2:22. I knew this was coming because this is how WWE works but thanks for YET ANOTHER waste of potential for the sake of a nothing match on Smackdown.
Rusev comes out and beats up Ryder as well while shouting that he accepts Ryder's challenge. Wait, so Ryder is getting the title shot after Sheamus just beat him clean? SERIOUSLY? This is the kind of stuff you suggest in sarcasm because it's the dumbest thing you could possibly do, not what you actually do on Raw.
Breezango vs. Lucha Dragons
This is due to the Dragons messing up Breeze's vest on the pre-show. Fandango and Cara start things off and it's time for more Draft talk. Cara headscissors him down but gets caught in the wrong corner to put him in trouble. Fandango is sent into the corner as well and the hot tag brings in Kalisto, who almost immediately botches a springboard. A few kicks to Breeze go better and the hurricanrana driver makes it worse. The numbers get the better of him though and Breeze gets in a superkick for the pin on Kalisto at 4:20.
Here's Seth Rollins for the Rollins Report. Tonight he has something special for us: footage from a special sitdown interview with Roman Reigns. Please tell me this isn't going to be one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns' answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing.
We see the footage and it's.....one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns' answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing. Basically Reigns admits he did it and says he should be out of the triple threat because he's no role model. Oh and he hates Dean being champion.
Back in the arena, Rollins says Ambrose should be out of the triple threat because he deserves his rematch for the title, one on one. Cue Ambrose but Rollins yells at him for being a coward and stealing the title from him at Money in the Bank. Dean says he lukes to come out here and have a good time but he's the top man in this industry. He's more than just a joke and a utility player because he's the only one still standing and the king of this company. Dean goes on about Rollins wanting another shot and offers a title shot anywhere any place. Rollins is ready right now but nah, not tonight. He'll see Dean next week.
We get a quick preview of New Day fighting the Wyatt Family at their compound. This DEFINITELY looks like the Final Deletion.
Ambrose vs. Rollins for the title is confirmed for next week.
Kevin Owens vs. ???
Sami Zayn is on commentary but Kevin won't come out until he's gone. Stephanie comes in to say get rid of Sami because she's all about solutions. Sami starts to leave but gets in a fight with Owens on the ramp. No match.
Vince arrives and says he's here to name the Commissioner of Smackdown.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Time for more Draft talk! I know it's a big deal but could you please talk about the actual match for more than two seconds first? Cesaro gutwrenches him over for two to start before they trade headlocks. A hurricanrana puts Owens down but he makes the ropes to break up the Swing. Owens takes over with a whip into the barricade as the announcers talk about where John Cena will be drafted. Cesaro's suplex doesn't break their focus but Owens knocks him into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding the Cannonball in the corner. The Pop Up Powerbomb is blocked and the springboard spinning uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Another running uppercut on the floor (with Cesaro wearing JBL's hat) but Cesaro gets crotched on top to slow him down. Owens busts out a torture rack neckbreaker for the clean pin at 12:24.
Post match Owens grabs a headset to brag about how awesome he is until Sami Zayn jumps him from behind. Cesaro swings Owens in a meaningless gesture. Maybe he should, I don't know, be upset about the loss?
The Club thinks John Cena is abandoning Enzo and Big Cass by hosting the ESPYs and not being here tonight. Maybe after the win they could hop on a plane and crash the awards so they can beat up John Cena.
Heath Slater vs. Titus O'Neil
We actually get a Slater Gator reference for a name I never thought (or hoped to) I'd hear again. Titus throws him around to start but runs into a raised boot in the corner. That means it's time for a quick Bo-Train, followed by Slater getting two off a DDT. Titus starts powering back and catches a diving Heath in three straight backbreakers. The Clash of the Titus puts Heath away at 3:12.
Sasha has been waiting to shut Dana Brooke up all weekend now and wants the title after that. Tonight, she gets real.
We look back at the Wyatt Family challenging the New Day to come to their compound last week.
Now we go to the compound, where a bunch of cars turn their lights on and try to crush New day as they get out of their truck. The editing makes this look like it's being played in fast motion so it's almost impossible to keep track of. The Wyatts arrive in a car and the brawl is on with New Day being beaten down with a variety of weapons. Woods hides behind a tree until Bray swings an ax at him and rams him into the tree trunk.
Kofi is shoved into some mud until Big E. suplexes Rowan. Strowman (who looks even more frightening with his shirt off) and Big E. hit each other a few times until Bray comes back and drops the unconscious Woods by the car. Kofi and Big E. are beaten down again as the editing gets even faster. Woods gets back up with a trashcan lid for a save but Bray beats everyone down and asks where the power of positivity is now.
New Day is sent into a car which is quickly beaten down but they escaped somewhere in there. Bray is left alone but smiles at New Day, who are freaked out by his laughter. Rowan and Strowman come back but a bunch of people in sheep masks appear, all holding lanterns. That's enough for New Day as they bail, leaving Bray to say follow the buzzards.
Yes it's clearly a takeoff from the Final Deletion and I'm sure I'll hear about how much better TNA's version was, though this was the serious version and exactly the kind of thing that made the Wyatts creepy in the first place. This really is something that has to be seen though as words really don't do it justice. It worked though.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club
Enzo and Cass say they want Cena's spot but they're willing to earn it. The Club on the other hand think they can take it by beating Cena up 3-1. AJ tells them to walk away but Enzo says the only place they're walking is into that ring right now. This is joined in progress after a break with Enzo trying to hold Anderson with a headlock. It's quickly off to Gallows who headbutts Enzo back into the corner as the beatdown begins.
Karl comes back in for a headlock but Cass comes in and slams Enzo onto Anderson for two. To be fair Enzo might as well just be a projectile as I don't think he's entirely human. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and sends him shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Anderson and Gallows taking turns on Enzo. Anderson finally lets Enzo get away for the hot tag to Cass (Enzo's signature) and a fall away slam sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka. AJ low bridges Gallows to the floor though and it's a DQ at 10:48.
Post match the beating is almost on but here's Cena, who was in Los Angeles earlier today, for the save. Well at least he's not live via satellite. That earns him a big CENA chant which you really don't hear that often.
Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha shoves her outside to start and things instantly slow down. Back in and Dana talks a lot of trash before kneeing Sasha in the ribs. Banks is sent outside so Charlotte can brag us to a break. Back with Sasha in a chinlock (Charlotte: Very good Dana.) before stomping away in the corner. The announcers continue to talk about ANYTHING other than this match as Dana grabs another chinlock to keep things slow. Sasha fights out again and hits the double knees in the corner. Dana crotches her on top but Sasha pops right back up and grabs the Bank Statement for the win at 12:00.
Post match Charlotte says that's not good enough so Sasha has to beat Dana again on Smackdown.
Here are Shane, Stephanie and Vince for the Smackdown Commissioner announcement. Vince thinks they've been doing a fair job but wonders how they could be his kids. Where's the violence and anger? How could they not have stabbed each other in the back yet? What's up with Stephanie being all passive aggressive and Shane having no ruthless aggression?
The kids are given a chance to convince their dad that they should be in charge of Smackdown and Stephanie goes first. Stephanie goes on a rant about what Shane said on the Mick Foley podcast about how he left when he wasn't congratulated enough. That's nothing compared to what he says behind Vince's back because he's all crazy and needing to be praised.
Shane says he came back in this arena five months ago and he's eternally thankful. He's ready to change everything about Smackdown and shatter the glass ceilings that Vince and Stephanie have set up. We get a quick fan poll with Shane easily winning which Stephanie attributes to crowd manipulation.
Vince doesn't care what the people think but one of them has to run Smackdown. That will be.......Shane, while Stephanie runs Raw. Ah that's better. For a second there I thought they might actually do something interesting. Vince wants them to compete for who gets the keys to the kingdom but they'll both be naming General Managers. Great. MORE power struggles and double bosses for each show.
Vince leaves and Stephanie tells Shane she's going to make him wish he was never born. Shane thinks Stephanie is hiding something and it's fear. It's game on, but Stephanie says she's married to the only game in this business. She slaps him in the face so he kisses her on the cheek, only to have Stephanie slip off the steps as she leaves to end the show.
Results
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro Toture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It's Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there's also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let's get to it.
We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff's remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.
Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews
Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it's time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don't have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandres from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.
Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they're pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.
DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.
Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.
Dixie Carter says they're moving back home to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.
Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he's the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he's going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn't a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn't win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.
Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.
Back at Matt's house, he's invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill's room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman's pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week's events. More is promised, which means I'll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Abyss vs. Bram
Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram's hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here's Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.
Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don't worry. She'll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt's house at dinner last night.
Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.
Matt and his family had dinner and it's all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it's not funny or interesting and I don't care if I'm stupid for not getting it. Next.
Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.
We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.
Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.
DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. DJZ
Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he's a lowly X-Division wrestler and can't fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That's enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.
Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn't mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.
Drew Galloway wants to fight.
Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.
Here's Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it's on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.
Davey tapes up Eddie's hands for the main event.
X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley
Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.
Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.
Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here's Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We'll call it a no contest at about 15:00.
Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.
And now, here's Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there's a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.
Results
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 13, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It's a big show this week as we've finally reached the showdown between Finn Balor and Shinsuke Nakamura. This is another instance of NXT building up a match to be a huge deal and it's made things feel even bigger than they would have otherwise. It's likely that the winner will face Samoa Joe for the title in Brooklyn at the next Takeover. Let's get to it.
We open with a long video on Balor vs. Nakamura. They really are making this feel important.
Opening sequence.
One more thing I like that seems to be a normal thing around here: Corey Graves is introduced as a former Tag Team Champion. I know he's been around on commentary for a long time but that one line lets new viewers know he has some credibility. I'd love it if WWE acknowledged that with their announcers more often. JBL is mentioned as the longest reigning Smackdown Champion but Lawler's title reigns are almost never mentioned and he comes off as just an old guy making bad jokes instead of someone with a long history in wrestling.
Here's Samoa Joe for an opening chat. Like a lot of people tuning in tonight, he's here to see Balor vs. Nakamura. He finds it disrespectful that both of them seem to think whoever wins here will be a contender to his championship. Some people here think Balor will win and get his title back. Then some people think the King of Strong Style will overthrow the emperor. Joe (who is sweating buckets here) brought strong style to these shores though and will make the King bow. This brings out Rhyno to say he's ready to face the warrior but Joe walks away without a fight.
For next week:
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
American Alpha vs. Authors of Pain
Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno
Another Balor vs. Nakamura video with wrestlers talking about how big this is due to how big they were in Japan and how close they are in real life. HHH talks about how it would be disrespectful of either of them not to push their friend as hard as they can.
Finn Balor vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
No Demon for Balor. Actually none for Nakamura either but I thought that might be implied. Even the Big Match Intros get THIS IS AWESOME chants. They trade wristlocks to start until Balor takes it to the mat for a headlock and a BOTH THESE GUYS chant. Nakamura fights up and does the head on Balor's chest thing but Balor flips him around and gives him a Too Sweet on the head.
It's back to the headlock to keep Nakamura in check but he sends Balor to the corner. Finn jumps over the ropes to avoid a running kick but his enziguri is blocked for an enziguri from Shinsuke. Good Vibrations set up some running knees to the head and we take a break. Back with Balor getting smart by dropkicking the knee to take away Shinsuke's best weapon.
We hit a leg lock on the mat for a bit before it's time for the chops. Thankfully Balor goes right back to the knee by hanging it over the middle rope and stomping down onto it. More stomps to the knee have Nakamura screaming and it's off to another leglock. Shinsuke gets up and hits him in the ribs with the injured knee, followed by a spinning kick to the face for a breather.
The knee is suddenly fine enough for the running knee to Balor's ribs in the corner as selling isn't modern wrestling's strong suit. Balor gets in a running kick to the face though and we take another break. Back again with Balor putting on something like a shortarm scissors but on the knee, drawing even more screams before Nakamura can make it to the ropes. Shinsuke grabs a triangle choke but Balor dives over and puts his foot on the rope for the break.
The reverse 1916 gets two and Balor is in shock. He's in so much shock that Nakamura gets in a quick Kinshasa to the back of the head for two more. Balor can't get the regular 1916 and it's time for the big slugout. Another shot to the knee has has Nakamura in trouble but he kicks Finn in the head. That just earns him a Sling Blade but the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the Kinshasa for the pin at 25:14.
A lot of posing and replays takes us out.
Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Finn Balor Kinshasa
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2016
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
This is the end of an era as we're at the final taped episode of Smackdown before it moves over to the live world of Tuesday nights on USA. We're also closing in on Battleground but we can't actually do much about the main event since Roman Reigns is still suspended. That sounds like fodder for a tag match. Let's get to it.
Earlier today, Kevin Owens found a birthday card for his son from Sami Zayn. All Sami gave his son was $20 Canadian. That money goes in Kevin's pocket and tonight Dean Ambrose is going into the hospital.
Charlotte and Dana Brooke get out of a limo and promise to have Dana take care of Sasha Banks tonight.
Miz is ready to make Darren Young great Again on MizTV.
Dean Ambrose might be leaving Smackdown due to the Draft but tonight he's going out by destroying Kevin Owens one last time.
Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
Sasha has already beaten Dana once but she has to do it again to get a title shot at Charlotte, who is in Dana's corner. Banks starts fast with a rollup for two before being sent outside where a Charlotte distraction lets Dana take over. The Samoan Driver (still needs a name) is broken up and Sasha's high cross body gets two. Dana tries a rollup but gets caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 3:48.
We see Shane McMahon being named Smackdown Commissioner. He's already picked his General Manager.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Non-title. Ziggler takes it to the mat to start but Rusev runs him over and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting back with right hands but getting dropped with ease all over again. A powerbomb gets two on Ziggler and it's time to stand around a bit. Ziggler grabs a sleeper for a few moments before realizing that his running DDT and the Fameasser might do some more damage. Rusev gets in his superkick but here's Zack Ryder for a distraction, allowing Ziggler to roll Rusev up for the pin at 8:57.
We see the New Day at the Wyatt Compound from Monday.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson
Enzo and AJ get things going but it's quickly off to Cass to clean house. AJ gets backdropped and a running clothesline puts Karl on the floor. The big toss sends Enzo over the top and onto the Club as we take a break. Back with Anderson getting a shot to Enzo's throat and it's time for the beatdown to begin.
AJ starts going after AJ's knee with a springboard stomp as the leg is over the ropes. Amore breaks up a springboard but Karl dives over to break up the hot tag attempt to Cass. A shot to the face drops AJ but it's Gallows breaking up the tag on the floor. That earns him a big boot to the face from Cass, only to have AJ grab a Calf Crusher for the submission on Enzo at 10:53.
According to spoilers, there was supposed to be a Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio match at this point but there's no mention of such a match.
Kalisto vs. Tyler Breeze
Kalisto starts fast of course but a Fandango distraction lets Breeze drop him throat first across the top rope. We hit the chinlock on Kalisto for a bit before he makes his quick comeback with the kicks to the chest and the corkscrew cross body. Tyler gets two off a kick but the Salida Del Sol is good enough to put Tyler away at 3:15.
It's time for MizTV with guests Bob Backlund and Darren Young. Miz shows us some Backlund clips from the Network. The fans give him an ovation so Miz is ready with a Darren Young video package. That would be a test pattern though because Darren hasn't had any highlights. Darren is fine with that because his highlight will be winning the Intercontinental Title. Backlund says Miz can never be a great champion because he isn't a role model. Miz rips on Backlund for sounding like Forrest Gump but Darren won't stand for someone disrespecting his life coach. A brawl is teased but doesn't go anywhere.
Sasha Banks is getting a concussion test (an hour and a half after her match) when Charlotte and Dana come in. Charlotte says not yet on the title shot so Sasha should find a partner if she can.
Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title with Seth Rollins on commentary. And pretty much never mind as Rollins interferes for the DQ at 33 seconds.
Sami Zayn runs out and I smell a tag match.
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn
The match has been announced during the break by someone not mentioned. But then again we need a GM/Commissioner/whatever else they're going to change the name to a few months after the Draft. Owens attacks Ambrose at the bell and takes him outside for a beating. Back in and Rollins cranks on the neck before it's off to Owens to miss the backsplash. Sami gets in a tag and we have a double dive to take the villains out.
Back from a break with Sami in trouble in the corner but he pretty easily gets away for the tag off to Ambrose. The standing elbow drop gets two on Owens and everything breaks down. Seth misses his springboard knee and gets taken down with a neckbreaker for two. Sami chases Owens to the floor with the threat of a Helluva Kick but Kevin catches Dean's suicide dive. Back in and Sami counters the Pedigree into a good looking tornado DDT. The Helluva Kick misses though and now the Pedigree is enough for the pin on Zayn at 13:18.
Ambrose saves Sami from an apron powerbomb and brawls with Rollins to end the show.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev Rollup
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson b. Enzo Amore/Karl Anderson Calf Crusher to Amore
Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze Salida Del Sol
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn Pedigree to Zayn
Friday
Brock Lesnar has been flagged for a potential doping violation prior to his UFC fight.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro Toture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Impact Wrestling
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
NXT
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Finn Balor Kinshasa
Smackdown
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev Rollup
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson b. Enzo Amore/Karl Anderson Calf Crusher to Amore
Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze Salida Del Sol
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn Pedigree to Zayn
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshawn Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal this week, or at least as back to normal as they're going to be with just one more Raw after this before the Draft takes place. The only major event announced for tonight is Zack Ryder challenging Rusev for the United States Title after beating Sheamus twice last week. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Battle Royal
Goldust, Darren Young, Apollo Crews, Viktor, Konnor, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Dolph Ziggler, Bo Dallas, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, R-Truth, Baron Corbin, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel
Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Battleground so Miz and Maryse are on commentary. English is put out early and he lands near Bob Backlund, who is managing Young. R-Truth puts out Viktor and Bubba (Not D-Von, Cole.) gets rid of Axel. There goes Truth and Konnor follows him out. One Uso tries to eliminate the other but they settle with a double superkick to get rid of D-Von as we go to a break.
Back with Gotch and Jey having been eliminated during the break. Del Rio gets rid of Goldust and Crews eliminates Dallas as the ring is emptying out. Jimmy and Swagger are thrown out so we're down to Crews, Bubba, Young, Del Rio, Corbin and Ziggler. Crews low bridges Bubba out and Del Rio is the only one left standing. Ziggler drops him with a Fameasser and goes for a cover out of instinct. That's not enough to eliminate him though as Alberto comes back with a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster.
Alberto misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Ziggler to superkick him to the floor which isn't an elimination. Corbin sends Dolph to the apron but can't get him out. Del Rio comes back in and gets backdropped out by Crews to put us down to four. Corbin gets rid of Ziggler but Crews gets rid of himself and Corbin, leaving Young to win the thing at 13:20.
Backlund picks Young up to celebrate.
Shane and Stephanie McMahon are talking about why Vince McMahon is going to be here tonight. Maybe it's to give one of them a promotion. Seth Rollins comes in and thinks Vince is here to see about him as the face of the WWE. Rollins has footage for tonight and Shane thinks it should be on the Ambrose Asylum. Stephanie says no because she hates Dean (Have we ever gotten a reason other than he's apparently an embarrassment to the company?) so Seth will get to debut the Rollins Report. Great. EVEN MORE talking.
Quick look at Brock Lesnar winning his return to the UFC on Saturday before he faces Randy Orton at Summerslam. Orton will be on the Highlight Reel at Battleground.
Zack Ryder comes up to challenge Rusev again but Sheamus jumps him from behind. Apparently there's no title match tonight because Ryder will be facing Sheamus next. Three WOO's for false advertising!
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder goes right after him to start and knocks Sheamus to the floor for a dropkick off the apron. Back in and a running boot to the face gets two for Zack as the announcers ignore the match to play fantasy draft. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick ends Ryder at 2:22. I knew this was coming because this is how WWE works but thanks for YET ANOTHER waste of potential for the sake of a nothing match on Smackdown.
Rusev comes out and beats up Ryder as well while shouting that he accepts Ryder's challenge. Wait, so Ryder is getting the title shot after Sheamus just beat him clean? SERIOUSLY? This is the kind of stuff you suggest in sarcasm because it's the dumbest thing you could possibly do, not what you actually do on Raw.
Breezango vs. Lucha Dragons
This is due to the Dragons messing up Breeze's vest on the pre-show. Fandango and Cara start things off and it's time for more Draft talk. Cara headscissors him down but gets caught in the wrong corner to put him in trouble. Fandango is sent into the corner as well and the hot tag brings in Kalisto, who almost immediately botches a springboard. A few kicks to Breeze go better and the hurricanrana driver makes it worse. The numbers get the better of him though and Breeze gets in a superkick for the pin on Kalisto at 4:20.
Here's Seth Rollins for the Rollins Report. Tonight he has something special for us: footage from a special sitdown interview with Roman Reigns. Please tell me this isn't going to be one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns' answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing.
We see the footage and it's.....one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns' answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing. Basically Reigns admits he did it and says he should be out of the triple threat because he's no role model. Oh and he hates Dean being champion.
Back in the arena, Rollins says Ambrose should be out of the triple threat because he deserves his rematch for the title, one on one. Cue Ambrose but Rollins yells at him for being a coward and stealing the title from him at Money in the Bank. Dean says he lukes to come out here and have a good time but he's the top man in this industry. He's more than just a joke and a utility player because he's the only one still standing and the king of this company. Dean goes on about Rollins wanting another shot and offers a title shot anywhere any place. Rollins is ready right now but nah, not tonight. He'll see Dean next week.
We get a quick preview of New Day fighting the Wyatt Family at their compound. This DEFINITELY looks like the Final Deletion.
Ambrose vs. Rollins for the title is confirmed for next week.
Kevin Owens vs. ???
Sami Zayn is on commentary but Kevin won't come out until he's gone. Stephanie comes in to say get rid of Sami because she's all about solutions. Sami starts to leave but gets in a fight with Owens on the ramp. No match.
Vince arrives and says he's here to name the Commissioner of Smackdown.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Time for more Draft talk! I know it's a big deal but could you please talk about the actual match for more than two seconds first? Cesaro gutwrenches him over for two to start before they trade headlocks. A hurricanrana puts Owens down but he makes the ropes to break up the Swing. Owens takes over with a whip into the barricade as the announcers talk about where John Cena will be drafted. Cesaro's suplex doesn't break their focus but Owens knocks him into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding the Cannonball in the corner. The Pop Up Powerbomb is blocked and the springboard spinning uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Another running uppercut on the floor (with Cesaro wearing JBL's hat) but Cesaro gets crotched on top to slow him down. Owens busts out a torture rack neckbreaker for the clean pin at 12:24.
Post match Owens grabs a headset to brag about how awesome he is until Sami Zayn jumps him from behind. Cesaro swings Owens in a meaningless gesture. Maybe he should, I don't know, be upset about the loss?
The Club thinks John Cena is abandoning Enzo and Big Cass by hosting the ESPYs and not being here tonight. Maybe after the win they could hop on a plane and crash the awards so they can beat up John Cena.
Heath Slater vs. Titus O'Neil
We actually get a Slater Gator reference for a name I never thought (or hoped to) I'd hear again. Titus throws him around to start but runs into a raised boot in the corner. That means it's time for a quick Bo-Train, followed by Slater getting two off a DDT. Titus starts powering back and catches a diving Heath in three straight backbreakers. The Clash of the Titus puts Heath away at 3:12.
Sasha has been waiting to shut Dana Brooke up all weekend now and wants the title after that. Tonight, she gets real.
We look back at the Wyatt Family challenging the New Day to come to their compound last week.
Now we go to the compound, where a bunch of cars turn their lights on and try to crush New day as they get out of their truck. The editing makes this look like it's being played in fast motion so it's almost impossible to keep track of. The Wyatts arrive in a car and the brawl is on with New Day being beaten down with a variety of weapons. Woods hides behind a tree until Bray swings an ax at him and rams him into the tree trunk.
Kofi is shoved into some mud until Big E. suplexes Rowan. Strowman (who looks even more frightening with his shirt off) and Big E. hit each other a few times until Bray comes back and drops the unconscious Woods by the car. Kofi and Big E. are beaten down again as the editing gets even faster. Woods gets back up with a trashcan lid for a save but Bray beats everyone down and asks where the power of positivity is now.
New Day is sent into a car which is quickly beaten down but they escaped somewhere in there. Bray is left alone but smiles at New Day, who are freaked out by his laughter. Rowan and Strowman come back but a bunch of people in sheep masks appear, all holding lanterns. That's enough for New Day as they bail, leaving Bray to say follow the buzzards.
Yes it's clearly a takeoff from the Final Deletion and I'm sure I'll hear about how much better TNA's version was, though this was the serious version and exactly the kind of thing that made the Wyatts creepy in the first place. This really is something that has to be seen though as words really don't do it justice. It worked though.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club
Enzo and Cass say they want Cena's spot but they're willing to earn it. The Club on the other hand think they can take it by beating Cena up 3-1. AJ tells them to walk away but Enzo says the only place they're walking is into that ring right now. This is joined in progress after a break with Enzo trying to hold Anderson with a headlock. It's quickly off to Gallows who headbutts Enzo back into the corner as the beatdown begins.
Karl comes back in for a headlock but Cass comes in and slams Enzo onto Anderson for two. To be fair Enzo might as well just be a projectile as I don't think he's entirely human. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and sends him shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Anderson and Gallows taking turns on Enzo. Anderson finally lets Enzo get away for the hot tag to Cass (Enzo's signature) and a fall away slam sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka. AJ low bridges Gallows to the floor though and it's a DQ at 10:48.
Post match the beating is almost on but here's Cena, who was in Los Angeles earlier today, for the save. Well at least he's not live via satellite. That earns him a big CENA chant which you really don't hear that often.
Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha shoves her outside to start and things instantly slow down. Back in and Dana talks a lot of trash before kneeing Sasha in the ribs. Banks is sent outside so Charlotte can brag us to a break. Back with Sasha in a chinlock (Charlotte: Very good Dana.) before stomping away in the corner. The announcers continue to talk about ANYTHING other than this match as Dana grabs another chinlock to keep things slow. Sasha fights out again and hits the double knees in the corner. Dana crotches her on top but Sasha pops right back up and grabs the Bank Statement for the win at 12:00.
Post match Charlotte says that's not good enough so Sasha has to beat Dana again on Smackdown.
Here are Shane, Stephanie and Vince for the Smackdown Commissioner announcement. Vince thinks they've been doing a fair job but wonders how they could be his kids. Where's the violence and anger? How could they not have stabbed each other in the back yet? What's up with Stephanie being all passive aggressive and Shane having no ruthless aggression?
The kids are given a chance to convince their dad that they should be in charge of Smackdown and Stephanie goes first. Stephanie goes on a rant about what Shane said on the Mick Foley podcast about how he left when he wasn't congratulated enough. That's nothing compared to what he says behind Vince's back because he's all crazy and needing to be praised.
Shane says he came back in this arena five months ago and he's eternally thankful. He's ready to change everything about Smackdown and shatter the glass ceilings that Vince and Stephanie have set up. We get a quick fan poll with Shane easily winning which Stephanie attributes to crowd manipulation.
Vince doesn't care what the people think but one of them has to run Smackdown. That will be.......Shane, while Stephanie runs Raw. Ah that's better. For a second there I thought they might actually do something interesting. Vince wants them to compete for who gets the keys to the kingdom but they'll both be naming General Managers. Great. MORE power struggles and double bosses for each show.
Vince leaves and Stephanie tells Shane she's going to make him wish he was never born. Shane thinks Stephanie is hiding something and it's fear. It's game on, but Stephanie says she's married to the only game in this business. She slaps him in the face so he kisses her on the cheek, only to have Stephanie slip off the steps as she leaves to end the show.
Results
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro Toture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It's Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there's also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let's get to it.
We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff's remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.
Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews
Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it's time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don't have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandres from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.
Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they're pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.
DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.
Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.
Dixie Carter says they're moving back home to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.
Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he's the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he's going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn't a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn't win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.
Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.
Back at Matt's house, he's invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill's room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman's pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week's events. More is promised, which means I'll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Abyss vs. Bram
Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram's hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here's Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.
Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don't worry. She'll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt's house at dinner last night.
Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.
Matt and his family had dinner and it's all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it's not funny or interesting and I don't care if I'm stupid for not getting it. Next.
Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.
We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.
Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.
DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. DJZ
Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he's a lowly X-Division wrestler and can't fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That's enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.
Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn't mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.
Drew Galloway wants to fight.
Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.
Here's Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it's on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.
Davey tapes up Eddie's hands for the main event.
X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley
Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.
Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.
Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here's Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We'll call it a no contest at about 15:00.
Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.
And now, here's Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there's a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.
Results
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 13, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It's a big show this week as we've finally reached the showdown between Finn Balor and Shinsuke Nakamura. This is another instance of NXT building up a match to be a huge deal and it's made things feel even bigger than they would have otherwise. It's likely that the winner will face Samoa Joe for the title in Brooklyn at the next Takeover. Let's get to it.
We open with a long video on Balor vs. Nakamura. They really are making this feel important.
Opening sequence.
One more thing I like that seems to be a normal thing around here: Corey Graves is introduced as a former Tag Team Champion. I know he's been around on commentary for a long time but that one line lets new viewers know he has some credibility. I'd love it if WWE acknowledged that with their announcers more often. JBL is mentioned as the longest reigning Smackdown Champion but Lawler's title reigns are almost never mentioned and he comes off as just an old guy making bad jokes instead of someone with a long history in wrestling.
Here's Samoa Joe for an opening chat. Like a lot of people tuning in tonight, he's here to see Balor vs. Nakamura. He finds it disrespectful that both of them seem to think whoever wins here will be a contender to his championship. Some people here think Balor will win and get his title back. Then some people think the King of Strong Style will overthrow the emperor. Joe (who is sweating buckets here) brought strong style to these shores though and will make the King bow. This brings out Rhyno to say he's ready to face the warrior but Joe walks away without a fight.
For next week:
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
American Alpha vs. Authors of Pain
Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno
Another Balor vs. Nakamura video with wrestlers talking about how big this is due to how big they were in Japan and how close they are in real life. HHH talks about how it would be disrespectful of either of them not to push their friend as hard as they can.
Finn Balor vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
No Demon for Balor. Actually none for Nakamura either but I thought that might be implied. Even the Big Match Intros get THIS IS AWESOME chants. They trade wristlocks to start until Balor takes it to the mat for a headlock and a BOTH THESE GUYS chant. Nakamura fights up and does the head on Balor's chest thing but Balor flips him around and gives him a Too Sweet on the head.
It's back to the headlock to keep Nakamura in check but he sends Balor to the corner. Finn jumps over the ropes to avoid a running kick but his enziguri is blocked for an enziguri from Shinsuke. Good Vibrations set up some running knees to the head and we take a break. Back with Balor getting smart by dropkicking the knee to take away Shinsuke's best weapon.
We hit a leg lock on the mat for a bit before it's time for the chops. Thankfully Balor goes right back to the knee by hanging it over the middle rope and stomping down onto it. More stomps to the knee have Nakamura screaming and it's off to another leglock. Shinsuke gets up and hits him in the ribs with the injured knee, followed by a spinning kick to the face for a breather.
The knee is suddenly fine enough for the running knee to Balor's ribs in the corner as selling isn't modern wrestling's strong suit. Balor gets in a running kick to the face though and we take another break. Back again with Balor putting on something like a shortarm scissors but on the knee, drawing even more screams before Nakamura can make it to the ropes. Shinsuke grabs a triangle choke but Balor dives over and puts his foot on the rope for the break.
The reverse 1916 gets two and Balor is in shock. He's in so much shock that Nakamura gets in a quick Kinshasa to the back of the head for two more. Balor can't get the regular 1916 and it's time for the big slugout. Another shot to the knee has has Nakamura in trouble but he kicks Finn in the head. That just earns him a Sling Blade but the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the Kinshasa for the pin at 25:14.
A lot of posing and replays takes us out.
Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Finn Balor Kinshasa
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2016
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
This is the end of an era as we're at the final taped episode of Smackdown before it moves over to the live world of Tuesday nights on USA. We're also closing in on Battleground but we can't actually do much about the main event since Roman Reigns is still suspended. That sounds like fodder for a tag match. Let's get to it.
Earlier today, Kevin Owens found a birthday card for his son from Sami Zayn. All Sami gave his son was $20 Canadian. That money goes in Kevin's pocket and tonight Dean Ambrose is going into the hospital.
Charlotte and Dana Brooke get out of a limo and promise to have Dana take care of Sasha Banks tonight.
Miz is ready to make Darren Young great Again on MizTV.
Dean Ambrose might be leaving Smackdown due to the Draft but tonight he's going out by destroying Kevin Owens one last time.
Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
Sasha has already beaten Dana once but she has to do it again to get a title shot at Charlotte, who is in Dana's corner. Banks starts fast with a rollup for two before being sent outside where a Charlotte distraction lets Dana take over. The Samoan Driver (still needs a name) is broken up and Sasha's high cross body gets two. Dana tries a rollup but gets caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 3:48.
We see Shane McMahon being named Smackdown Commissioner. He's already picked his General Manager.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Non-title. Ziggler takes it to the mat to start but Rusev runs him over and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting back with right hands but getting dropped with ease all over again. A powerbomb gets two on Ziggler and it's time to stand around a bit. Ziggler grabs a sleeper for a few moments before realizing that his running DDT and the Fameasser might do some more damage. Rusev gets in his superkick but here's Zack Ryder for a distraction, allowing Ziggler to roll Rusev up for the pin at 8:57.
We see the New Day at the Wyatt Compound from Monday.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson
Enzo and AJ get things going but it's quickly off to Cass to clean house. AJ gets backdropped and a running clothesline puts Karl on the floor. The big toss sends Enzo over the top and onto the Club as we take a break. Back with Anderson getting a shot to Enzo's throat and it's time for the beatdown to begin.
AJ starts going after AJ's knee with a springboard stomp as the leg is over the ropes. Amore breaks up a springboard but Karl dives over to break up the hot tag attempt to Cass. A shot to the face drops AJ but it's Gallows breaking up the tag on the floor. That earns him a big boot to the face from Cass, only to have AJ grab a Calf Crusher for the submission on Enzo at 10:53.
According to spoilers, there was supposed to be a Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio match at this point but there's no mention of such a match.
Kalisto vs. Tyler Breeze
Kalisto starts fast of course but a Fandango distraction lets Breeze drop him throat first across the top rope. We hit the chinlock on Kalisto for a bit before he makes his quick comeback with the kicks to the chest and the corkscrew cross body. Tyler gets two off a kick but the Salida Del Sol is good enough to put Tyler away at 3:15.
It's time for MizTV with guests Bob Backlund and Darren Young. Miz shows us some Backlund clips from the Network. The fans give him an ovation so Miz is ready with a Darren Young video package. That would be a test pattern though because Darren hasn't had any highlights. Darren is fine with that because his highlight will be winning the Intercontinental Title. Backlund says Miz can never be a great champion because he isn't a role model. Miz rips on Backlund for sounding like Forrest Gump but Darren won't stand for someone disrespecting his life coach. A brawl is teased but doesn't go anywhere.
Sasha Banks is getting a concussion test (an hour and a half after her match) when Charlotte and Dana come in. Charlotte says not yet on the title shot so Sasha should find a partner if she can.
Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title with Seth Rollins on commentary. And pretty much never mind as Rollins interferes for the DQ at 33 seconds.
Sami Zayn runs out and I smell a tag match.
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn
The match has been announced during the break by someone not mentioned. But then again we need a GM/Commissioner/whatever else they're going to change the name to a few months after the Draft. Owens attacks Ambrose at the bell and takes him outside for a beating. Back in and Rollins cranks on the neck before it's off to Owens to miss the backsplash. Sami gets in a tag and we have a double dive to take the villains out.
Back from a break with Sami in trouble in the corner but he pretty easily gets away for the tag off to Ambrose. The standing elbow drop gets two on Owens and everything breaks down. Seth misses his springboard knee and gets taken down with a neckbreaker for two. Sami chases Owens to the floor with the threat of a Helluva Kick but Kevin catches Dean's suicide dive. Back in and Sami counters the Pedigree into a good looking tornado DDT. The Helluva Kick misses though and now the Pedigree is enough for the pin on Zayn at 13:18.
Ambrose saves Sami from an apron powerbomb and brawls with Rollins to end the show.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev Rollup
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson b. Enzo Amore/Karl Anderson Calf Crusher to Amore
Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze Salida Del Sol
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn Pedigree to Zayn
Friday
Brock Lesnar has been flagged for a potential doping violation prior to his UFC fight.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro Toture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Impact Wrestling
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
NXT
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Finn Balor Kinshasa
Smackdown
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke Bank Statement
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev Rollup
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson b. Enzo Amore/Karl Anderson Calf Crusher to Amore
Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze Salida Del Sol
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn Pedigree to Zayn