klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2016
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
After three months of a new era, we're actually in a New Era as we've reached the first show with an exclusive Raw roster, which means a lot of things that aren't entirely clear. We don't officially have a World Champion as Dean Ambrose retained the title last night to keep it on Smackdown. Hopefully tonight we actually get some answers to the questions left over from the Draft so let's get to it.
Quick look at the main event.
Opening sequence, complete with a new logo and theme song.
The announcers are no longer at ringside and are up by the entrance instead. There's also a new set.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to introduce the entire Raw roster. Stephanie blames Reigns for costing them the title and says there has never been an episode of Monday Night Raw without a World Champion (Uh......what? Just......what?) so tonight they're going to rectify that problem. Tonight there will be two fourways with the winners squaring off tonight for the right to go to Summerslam to face Seth Rollins for the.....wait for it....WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship (Killjoy is going to love that one). Foley introduces the eight people in the fourways:
Sami Zayn
Sheamus
Cesaro
Rusev
Roman Reigns
Kevin Owens
Chris Jericho
Finn Balor
We're not done yet though as Charlotte is going to be defending the Women's Title against Sasha Banks. The first fourway is right now.
Cesaro vs. Rusev vs. Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor
Owens gets a big pop but the crowd doesn't seem to know Balor's pose yet. They'll get the hang of it soon enough. Balor and Owens are left inside with Finn scoring off a dropkick but Cesaro takes over with some uppercuts as we hit a break less than ninety seconds after the bell. Back with Owens and Rusev staring each other down until Balor comes back in to get caught in a German suplex.
Cesaro gets double teamed as well but Rusev misses a top rope splash. The heels start fighting until Cesaro cross bodies both of them. The uppercut train starts up but Rusev breaks up the Swing. Everyone goes to the floor and it's Balor hitting a big flip dive for his first major pop of the night. Back in and 1916 (lifting reverse DDT) gets two on Cesaro and we take another break. We come back again with Rusev at the base of a Tower of Doom to plant everyone at the same time.
Owens gets two on Balor with the torture rack neckbreaker. The Bullfrog Splash crushes Cesaro and the Pop Up Powerbomb plants Balor. The Neutralizer is broken up though and Rusev grabs the Accolade on Owens. Cesaro comes back in and Swings Rusev, only to have Owens break up the Sharpshooter. Balor comes right back in with dropkicks though and the Coup de Grace puts Rusev away at 20:31.
Nia Jax vs. Brit Baker
Nia throws her around to start and ties her in the Tree of Woe. The legdrop only gets two as Nia pulls her up. A headbutt and another legdrop put Baker away at 1:20. Total squash.
Golden Truth are playing Pokemon Go and annoy Sasha Banks. Sasha says she'll win tonight.
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
Sheamus and Jericho double team Reigns to start and Sami joins in on the beating. Reigns is sent to the floor so it's Sami getting beaten down by both guys until Sami backdrops Jericho onto Sheamus. That means it's time for Reigns to come back in and slam Sami down for two as the announcers talk about Stephanie. Sheamus comes back in for the ten forearms on Sami until Jericho knocks the Irishman to the floor. Reigns hits the big dive to take all of them out and we go to a break.
Back with Reigns getting double teamed but fighting back, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb for a very hot near fall. The Razor's Edge sitout powerbomb gets two on Sami but the Brogue Kick cuts off the Superman Punch. Sami adds a Helluva Kick, only to have Jericho steal the near fall. A Brogue Kick saves Jericho from the Walls but Sami dives over to break up the cover. Back to back Superman Punches drop the heels and the Codebreaker is countered into.....something botched. Jericho takes another Superman Punch and the spear advances Reigns at 17:06.
Here's New Day to celebrate 337 days as Tag Team Champions. After Woods says he's glad Bray was drafted to Smackdown and a quick BootyO's ad, we get a montage of the title reign. Tonight, New Day is going to let a member of the crowd be an honorary member of New Day, but the question is who.
They pick a somewhat rotund man in a New Day shirt and Big E. asks sonny boy what his name is. Man: Sonny Boy. Kofi: No your government name. Man: Sonny Boy. New Day doesn't quite buy this and ask if that's the name that comes on his bills or how he signs the check at restaurants. The dancing is on but the Club comes out to interrupt and beat the champs down. Big E. takes a Magic Killer and the other two lose their shirts. The Club talk trash to Sonny Boy and throw a shirt at him.
Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Axel is listed as Mr. Irrelevant because he was picked last. Neville snaps off a neckbreaker to start and flips over him a few times. A standing shooting star to the back keeps Axel in trouble and the lifting German suplex puts him in the corner. The Red Arrow puts Curtis away at 3:45.
Darren Young wants the Intercontinental Title but Bob Backlund's pep talk is cut off by the Pokemon Go hunt. Backlund yells a lot.
Video on Finn Balor.
Charlotte thinks Sasha will crack under the pressure tonight.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending. They lock up and go down to the mat with a rollup freaking the champ out. Dana offers a quick distraction and earns an early reprimand. Banks grabs a quick Bank Statement but only gets a modified version of the hold, allowing Charlotte to escape. That's nice of her. Instead Sasha sends her outside for the double knees from the apron and a near fall.
Charlotte kicks Sasha into the corner and then drives her into the barricade, setting up some trash talking with the belt in hand. Dana picks up the dropped belt and Sasha feigns an attack, earning Dana an ejection. Why this isn't a DQ isn't clear but it takes us to a break. Back with Sasha fighting out of a double arm crank and hitting more running knees. Charlotte grabs a quick neckbreaker but has to bail out of the moonsault. That's fine as she lands on her feet (because she can), only to have a flip dive blocked by raised boots. Sasha sends her to the floor for a dive with a SCARY landing as Banks came down on her face.
She's fine enough to cover Charlotte for two but the champ sends her outside for a huge moonsault to a standing Sasha. I mean, she barely made contact but dang it looked cool. Back in and Natural Selection gets two so we hit the Figure Four. The hold is rolled over but Charlotte goes under the ropes and bends the hold over the apron. Back in and Sasha flips out of another Figure four to grab the Bank Statement but Charlotte's foot is under the ropes. Another Bank Statement gives Sasha the title in a big surprise at 16:53.
Sasha gives a quick speech about how she's earned this and this is a new era.
Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth
Before the match, James thinks it would be a big win for his career and anyone with two hands can fight. A quick beating sets up a reverse chokeslam to give Strowman the pin at 1:10.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Golden Truth is STILL hunting for Pokemon and find......the Pittsburgh Penguins logo?
Here are Enzo and Cass for a chat about various raw foods. They're cut off by the Shining Stars of all people and it's time for a match.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Primo puts Enzo down for all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Cass actually gets low bridged to the floor but here are Golden Truth on the Pokemon hunt. The distraction lets Cass kick Epico in the face for the pin at 1:51. These guys were teaming with JOHN CENA last night and now they're here?
Roman and Finn wish each other luck.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Winner goes to Summerslam to face Rollins for the title. Reigns launches him into the corner to start but Balor snaps his throat across the top. Some kicks to the head don't have much effect on Reigns as he runs Balor over again. The apron boot misses though and Balor's slingshot double stomp has Roman in trouble.
We take a break and come back with Roman powerslamming him for two and grabbing a chinlock. A sitout powerbomb gets two but Balor comes back with a string of kicks for a near fall of his own. The Superman Punch only gets two on Balor and everyone is stunned. Balor gets two off his own off a sunset flip to counter the Razor's Edge bomb. Back to back powerbombs get two more on Finn but Balor grabs a Sling Blade to block the spear. The Coup de Grace gets the big upset pin at 13:57.
Post match Reigns says he hopes Balor wins the title because he wants another shot at Finn.
Results
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns Coup de Grace
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they're all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there's a chance we'll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let's get to it.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.
Just like Raw, there's a new intro accompanied by new music.
The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it's time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he's ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there's going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:
John Cena
Bray Wyatt
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Baron Corbin
That leaves one spot open so let's have a battle royal right now for that final position.
Battle Royal
Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley
The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.
Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn't bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.
All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.
Crews says he won't celebrate until he wins the main event.
Shelton Benjamin is coming back.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can't be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.
Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It's really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn't say anything.
Baron Corbin says he'll win.
It's time for MizTV with special guest.....The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he'll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he'll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.
Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Non-title. They're quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.
Video on American Alpha. They're here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don't have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.
A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn't happy that he wasn't drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there's a name I never thought I'd hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.
AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he's too good. Why else wouldn't the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?
Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he'll have the whole world in his hands.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ's head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn't be seen in a six way match.
We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that's how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo's toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there's no referee. Cena finally remembers he's in this match and AA's Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.
Crews and Wyatt take AA's as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.
Results
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin Superkick to Styles
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 27, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Brooklyn is still on the horizon and it's time to start setting up more of the card. The big story coming off last week is Bayley defeating Nia Jax again to presumably become #1 contender the Women's Title. The other interesting thing should be seeing some of these people for the last time before they head up to the main roster. Let's get to it.
New opening sequence.
Earlier today, Blake and Murphy got in another argument over who carried the team. I thought we were pretty clear that it was Bliss.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Wesley Blake
This is the new Blake, meaning Blake with tassels on his boots. The fans sing Nakamura's song and Blake isn't sure what to think. Blake blows a kiss to Nakamura, who catches it and stomps on it to go.....I guess bigger face? Good Vibrations has Blake in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline and we hit a chinlock. For some reason Blake tries Good Vibrations, earning himself a kick to the face. The reverse exploder sets up Kinshasa for the pin on Blake at 4:30.
I spoke too soon as here's William Regal to announce Nakamura vs. Joe for the title at Takeover.
Billie Kay vs. Santana Garrett
Feeling out process to start with Billie working on an armbar. A dropkick puts Billie down but she forearms Santana in the back to take over again. The announcers keep talking about Billie's recent Smackdown appearance going to her head as Garrett starts her comeback. It's not much of a comeback though as Billie kicks her in the face for the pin at 3:07.
We look at Bayley appearing at Battleground.
Bayley asks Regal for a title shot in Brooklyn and her request is granted pending Asuka's approval. Why does he need Asuka's approval and not Joe's?
We get a promo for someone sitting in the moonlight with a voice saying the universe is shifting.
TM61 vs. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails
Miller and Nails start things off with Adrian being sent to the mat so Thorn can jump on his back. A standing moonsault/jumping fist drop combo suggests that this isn't going to go long. Ryzin comes in to punch Thorn down in the corner but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Miller. Thunder Valley ends Nails at 3:07.
Handshakes all around post match.
We look back at Austin Aries turning full heel on No Way Jose, who attacked Aries two weeks back.
Hideo Itami returns next week.
No Way Jose vs. Steve Cutler
I want to cheer for Cutler for the facial hair alone. We start with a good old fashioned dancing wristlock but Cutler makes the mistake of hitting Jose in the face to fire him up. Some right hands and a hiptoss set up the Baseball Punch, followed by a cobra clutch slam to end Cutler at 1:52.
Post match Jose says he wants Aries because all he was trying to do was show Austin how to have fun. There won't be any dancing next time because it's time for a whipping.
Buddy Murphy vs. Kota Ibushi
This is Ibushi's NXT debut. Some shoulders put Kota down to start but he gets in a nice dropkick and a kick to the chest to send Buddy outside. Back in and Murphy knees him in the back to set up a chinlock but the fans keep cheering away. Buddy gets a close two off some running knees (WAY too common of a move around here) but gets his head kicked into the fourth row.
A German suplex gives Ibushi two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. Murphy sends him face first into the middle buckle for two but makes the eternal mistake of putting a high flier on the top rope. Ibushi can't quite get a sunset bomb so he settles for a sitout powerbomb and the pin at 5:21.
Joe feels disrespected about not being told of his title defense.
Bobby Roode debuts next week.
Here's Joe for a chat to close the show. Apparently he was just told about the title defense when he got here. So he didn't show up until about eight minutes left in the show? Champion's privilege I guess. Joe will NOT be defending the title against an undeserving contender like Nakamura. This brings out Regal to say oh yes you will defend that title against who I say you will but Joe still isn't happy.
Regal looks especially ticked off as Joe tells him that they can go to Regal's office and determine an opponent of whom Joe approves. Regal says fight Nakamura of the title is forfeited. That's enough for Joe and the match is on, assuming he doesn't take out Nakamura before Brooklyn. Cue Nakamura to make a telescope with his hands (because he can) and stare down Joe as we go off the air.
Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Wesley Blake Kinshasa
Billie Kay b. Santana Garrett Big Boot
TM61 b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails Thunder Valley to Nails
No Way Jose b. Steve Cutler Cobra clutch slam
Kota Ibushi b. Buddy Murphy Sitout powerbomb
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
Tonight is still about finding a #1 contender for the World Title as we have the semifinals of the Bound For Glory Playoff with four people still possibly advancing to fight Lashley. Speaking of Lashley he now holds both the TNA World and X-Division Titles so we'll have to see what he does with both belts. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's first round to get us to the final four.
Here's Matt Hardy for his match but first, Matt summons Brother Nero to the ring, meaning we get to hear Reby say OBSOLETE over and over again. Matt commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight despite THAT NOT BEING PART OF THE STORY. We're still not ready as Matt growls at Ethan like an intoxicated gorilla. Ethan says nothing, including Senor Benjamin or Vanguard 1 bringing a dilapidated boat to the ring and dropping it on his head. Matt: You are nothing more.... Ethan: MY PROMO IS NOT OVER!!! Carter says this man is Jeff Hardy and he is a relevant creature.
Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Matt bites the hand to block a chop so Carter goes with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Ethan tweak his ankle. A belly to belly suplex lets Matt kick at the leg but Ethan kicks him out to the floor for a dive. That just hurts his ankle again though and Ethan has to break out of the Twist of Fate. A Stinger Splash looks to set up the TK3 but Matt kicks the ankle again. The second TK3 works but Reby throws in the hammer. The referee is distracted by.....I think Jeff but Matt gets caught with the hammer anyway. As the referee takes it away, Ethan takes his own boot off to knock Matt out, followed by the 1%er to advance at 7:30.
Madison Rayne is annoyed at Maria and Allie so they give her Gail Kim tonight.
Post break, Matt yells at Jeff and promises to make it worse.
Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim
No entrances. Gail gets an early two off a backbreaker but Madison knees her in the ribs and a kick to the head gets two. An enziguri gets the same for Madison and there's a slide into a clothesline against the bottom rope. Back up and Gail hits a quick Eat Defeat for the win at 4:59.
Mike Bennett and Moose are ready to destroy Lashley.
Rosemary and Bram meet in the woods and we get a flashback to Rosemary looking normal. When she was younger (as in early 20s) she had a cat. One day the cat got sick so she took it to mama, who told her everything would be ok. Then her Mama threw the cat in a trashcan to make Rosemary crazy like she is today. Back to reality, Bram thinks Rosemary is a little weird but they stop to look at a barn. It's always a barn.
Moose vs. David Star
David is sat on the top rope for a dropkick out to the floor but Star comes back with a running dropkick. A pop up apron powerbomb ends Star's run though and probably most of his career at the same time. Back in the and the Gamebreaker (basically a Rainmaker but with a discus lariat but without pulling Star in, making the spin rather pointless) ends Star at 2:22.
Post match here's Lashley to come after Moose. We come back from a break with Mike Bennett pulling Moose back from Lashley and asking who wants to see this match. Eh not yet though as Bennett wants Moose to wait because Bennett needs him in the corner for the playoff match later.
The two of them leave so Lashley says he's already got two titles but he wants all the singles gold. This brings out DJZ to suck up a bit so Lashley says DJZ can pick the match type for the X-Division Title match (remember that DJZ became #1 contender at Ultimate X). DJZ picks a ladder match and it's on right now. Thankfully there are ladders ready just in case Lashley allowed DJZ to pick a stipulation.
X-Division Title: Lashley vs. DJZ
Lashley is defending and it's a ladder match. DJZ gets thrown around to start but scores with a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Lashley throws the ladder out of the ring because he can so they head outside with DJZ hitting a flip dive off the announcers' table. Back from a break with Lashley crushing DJZ with a ladder and no selling a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his chest.
Back in and the Dominator plants DJZ but he's still able to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. That's not enough for the climb though as Lashley lifts up the ladder and DJZ at the same time (Pope: That's not something you'll see in the X-Division. Except for right now, when we're seeing it in the X-Division.). DJZ grabs a quick tornado DDT to plant Lashley but he slams DJZ off the ladder and retains at 12:38.
Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway want to fight each other in the finals.
Bram and Rosemary look at the barn and Rosemary asks if it matters. We go to the flashback again with Rosemary talking to a tree about some guy named John. Rosemary writes in a journal and signs an R in her own blood. This keeps cutting in and out with pictures in her Decay attire and is all over the place like the Final Deletion style videos. Back in reality, Bram says it doesn't matter if we hear about these old things because they're here now. To be continued.
It's time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli calls Lashley a cross eyed halfwit and says you can't just go around collecting titles like this is Pokemon Go. He likes the odds of putting Lashley's two titles against his one but here's James Storm to interrupt. Drake says he was calling out contenders and not a drunk. Storm brings up the DQ in their match and offers Drake another beer. Eli pulls out a jug of water but Storm kicks it out to the floor. Storm: WATER SUCKS!
That's still a no so Storm makes parent sex jokes, earning himself a bunch of dummy's. Drake will give him another shot but if Storm loses, he can't have any more beer, can't ride the Boozer Cruiser and can't use that stupid country song. So.....he wants Storm deleted? Storm takes a swig of beer, drinks the one he had for Drake, and says it's on. A belt shot misses but Drake gets in a low blow and Blunt Force Trauma.
Tyrus is still ready to fix your problems.
Grado calls Tyrus to try and get his help against the Tribunal but he and Mahabali Shera have no money. There's a match next week.
Decay beats the BroMans down in the back and there's a match up next.
Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans
Joined in progress with only Raquel at ringside. Decay is defending and this is Monster's Ball just because. The champs are in control and pouring tacks out onto the mat as this is one sided so far. Jesse gets slammed down would rather grab a chair than follow up. Robbie ducks a double clothesline so Robbie can springboard in with a double clothesline of his own as the challengers take over.
Abyss gets a chair dropkicked into his face and a double spear sends him through a barbed wire board. Jesse grabs the Adonis Lock with Steve's face in the tacks but Abyss breaks it up and throws him through a table at ringside. Cue another barbed wire board and Janice (of course) but Raquel sneaks in with a low blow to save her buddies. Robbie drops Janice though and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire retains the titles at 6:50.
Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III
Moose jumps Galloway during the entrance and powerbombs him onto the apron. Drew still says ring the bell because disqualifications cannot possibly happen before the bell. Bennett slowly beats him down until Drew grabs an overhead belly to belly to get himself a breather. A quick cutter gives Mike two and he throws Galloway outside. They head outside with Bennett going chest first into the bottom of the ring (as in the wood that holds it up) for two.
Drew tries Futureshock but spins Mike around first. That's not enough though as Bennett slips away and punches the referee by mistake. Cue Moose to take Galloway out with a middle rope Sky High but Bennett only gets two. Now it's Carter to go after Moose and send him into the steps, only to miss a kendo stick shot which hits Galloway by mistake. Moose pulls Carter to the floor, leaving Mike to hit the MIP for the pin at 7:46.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy 1%er
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne Eat Defeat
Moose b. David Star Gamebreaker
Lashley b. DJZ Lashley pulled down the title
Decay b. BroMans Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board
Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway MIP
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns Coup de Grace
Smackdown
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin Superkick to Styles
NXT
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Wesley Blake Kinshasa
Billie Kay b. Santana Garrett Big Boot
TM61 b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails Thunder Valley to Nails
No Way Jose b. Steve Cutler Cobra clutch slam
Kota Ibushi b. Buddy Murphy Sitout powerbomb
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy 1%er
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne Eat Defeat
Moose b. David Star Gamebreaker
Lashley b. DJZ Lashley pulled down the title
Decay b. BroMans Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board
Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway MIP
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2016
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
After three months of a new era, we're actually in a New Era as we've reached the first show with an exclusive Raw roster, which means a lot of things that aren't entirely clear. We don't officially have a World Champion as Dean Ambrose retained the title last night to keep it on Smackdown. Hopefully tonight we actually get some answers to the questions left over from the Draft so let's get to it.
Quick look at the main event.
Opening sequence, complete with a new logo and theme song.
The announcers are no longer at ringside and are up by the entrance instead. There's also a new set.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to introduce the entire Raw roster. Stephanie blames Reigns for costing them the title and says there has never been an episode of Monday Night Raw without a World Champion (Uh......what? Just......what?) so tonight they're going to rectify that problem. Tonight there will be two fourways with the winners squaring off tonight for the right to go to Summerslam to face Seth Rollins for the.....wait for it....WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship (Killjoy is going to love that one). Foley introduces the eight people in the fourways:
Sami Zayn
Sheamus
Cesaro
Rusev
Roman Reigns
Kevin Owens
Chris Jericho
Finn Balor
We're not done yet though as Charlotte is going to be defending the Women's Title against Sasha Banks. The first fourway is right now.
Cesaro vs. Rusev vs. Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor
Owens gets a big pop but the crowd doesn't seem to know Balor's pose yet. They'll get the hang of it soon enough. Balor and Owens are left inside with Finn scoring off a dropkick but Cesaro takes over with some uppercuts as we hit a break less than ninety seconds after the bell. Back with Owens and Rusev staring each other down until Balor comes back in to get caught in a German suplex.
Cesaro gets double teamed as well but Rusev misses a top rope splash. The heels start fighting until Cesaro cross bodies both of them. The uppercut train starts up but Rusev breaks up the Swing. Everyone goes to the floor and it's Balor hitting a big flip dive for his first major pop of the night. Back in and 1916 (lifting reverse DDT) gets two on Cesaro and we take another break. We come back again with Rusev at the base of a Tower of Doom to plant everyone at the same time.
Owens gets two on Balor with the torture rack neckbreaker. The Bullfrog Splash crushes Cesaro and the Pop Up Powerbomb plants Balor. The Neutralizer is broken up though and Rusev grabs the Accolade on Owens. Cesaro comes back in and Swings Rusev, only to have Owens break up the Sharpshooter. Balor comes right back in with dropkicks though and the Coup de Grace puts Rusev away at 20:31.
Nia Jax vs. Brit Baker
Nia throws her around to start and ties her in the Tree of Woe. The legdrop only gets two as Nia pulls her up. A headbutt and another legdrop put Baker away at 1:20. Total squash.
Golden Truth are playing Pokemon Go and annoy Sasha Banks. Sasha says she'll win tonight.
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
Sheamus and Jericho double team Reigns to start and Sami joins in on the beating. Reigns is sent to the floor so it's Sami getting beaten down by both guys until Sami backdrops Jericho onto Sheamus. That means it's time for Reigns to come back in and slam Sami down for two as the announcers talk about Stephanie. Sheamus comes back in for the ten forearms on Sami until Jericho knocks the Irishman to the floor. Reigns hits the big dive to take all of them out and we go to a break.
Back with Reigns getting double teamed but fighting back, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb for a very hot near fall. The Razor's Edge sitout powerbomb gets two on Sami but the Brogue Kick cuts off the Superman Punch. Sami adds a Helluva Kick, only to have Jericho steal the near fall. A Brogue Kick saves Jericho from the Walls but Sami dives over to break up the cover. Back to back Superman Punches drop the heels and the Codebreaker is countered into.....something botched. Jericho takes another Superman Punch and the spear advances Reigns at 17:06.
Here's New Day to celebrate 337 days as Tag Team Champions. After Woods says he's glad Bray was drafted to Smackdown and a quick BootyO's ad, we get a montage of the title reign. Tonight, New Day is going to let a member of the crowd be an honorary member of New Day, but the question is who.
They pick a somewhat rotund man in a New Day shirt and Big E. asks sonny boy what his name is. Man: Sonny Boy. Kofi: No your government name. Man: Sonny Boy. New Day doesn't quite buy this and ask if that's the name that comes on his bills or how he signs the check at restaurants. The dancing is on but the Club comes out to interrupt and beat the champs down. Big E. takes a Magic Killer and the other two lose their shirts. The Club talk trash to Sonny Boy and throw a shirt at him.
Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Axel is listed as Mr. Irrelevant because he was picked last. Neville snaps off a neckbreaker to start and flips over him a few times. A standing shooting star to the back keeps Axel in trouble and the lifting German suplex puts him in the corner. The Red Arrow puts Curtis away at 3:45.
Darren Young wants the Intercontinental Title but Bob Backlund's pep talk is cut off by the Pokemon Go hunt. Backlund yells a lot.
Video on Finn Balor.
Charlotte thinks Sasha will crack under the pressure tonight.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending. They lock up and go down to the mat with a rollup freaking the champ out. Dana offers a quick distraction and earns an early reprimand. Banks grabs a quick Bank Statement but only gets a modified version of the hold, allowing Charlotte to escape. That's nice of her. Instead Sasha sends her outside for the double knees from the apron and a near fall.
Charlotte kicks Sasha into the corner and then drives her into the barricade, setting up some trash talking with the belt in hand. Dana picks up the dropped belt and Sasha feigns an attack, earning Dana an ejection. Why this isn't a DQ isn't clear but it takes us to a break. Back with Sasha fighting out of a double arm crank and hitting more running knees. Charlotte grabs a quick neckbreaker but has to bail out of the moonsault. That's fine as she lands on her feet (because she can), only to have a flip dive blocked by raised boots. Sasha sends her to the floor for a dive with a SCARY landing as Banks came down on her face.
She's fine enough to cover Charlotte for two but the champ sends her outside for a huge moonsault to a standing Sasha. I mean, she barely made contact but dang it looked cool. Back in and Natural Selection gets two so we hit the Figure Four. The hold is rolled over but Charlotte goes under the ropes and bends the hold over the apron. Back in and Sasha flips out of another Figure four to grab the Bank Statement but Charlotte's foot is under the ropes. Another Bank Statement gives Sasha the title in a big surprise at 16:53.
Sasha gives a quick speech about how she's earned this and this is a new era.
Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth
Before the match, James thinks it would be a big win for his career and anyone with two hands can fight. A quick beating sets up a reverse chokeslam to give Strowman the pin at 1:10.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Golden Truth is STILL hunting for Pokemon and find......the Pittsburgh Penguins logo?
Here are Enzo and Cass for a chat about various raw foods. They're cut off by the Shining Stars of all people and it's time for a match.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Primo puts Enzo down for all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Cass actually gets low bridged to the floor but here are Golden Truth on the Pokemon hunt. The distraction lets Cass kick Epico in the face for the pin at 1:51. These guys were teaming with JOHN CENA last night and now they're here?
Roman and Finn wish each other luck.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Winner goes to Summerslam to face Rollins for the title. Reigns launches him into the corner to start but Balor snaps his throat across the top. Some kicks to the head don't have much effect on Reigns as he runs Balor over again. The apron boot misses though and Balor's slingshot double stomp has Roman in trouble.
We take a break and come back with Roman powerslamming him for two and grabbing a chinlock. A sitout powerbomb gets two but Balor comes back with a string of kicks for a near fall of his own. The Superman Punch only gets two on Balor and everyone is stunned. Balor gets two off his own off a sunset flip to counter the Razor's Edge bomb. Back to back powerbombs get two more on Finn but Balor grabs a Sling Blade to block the spear. The Coup de Grace gets the big upset pin at 13:57.
Post match Reigns says he hopes Balor wins the title because he wants another shot at Finn.
Results
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns Coup de Grace
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they're all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there's a chance we'll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let's get to it.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.
Just like Raw, there's a new intro accompanied by new music.
The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it's time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he's ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there's going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:
John Cena
Bray Wyatt
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Baron Corbin
That leaves one spot open so let's have a battle royal right now for that final position.
Battle Royal
Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley
The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.
Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn't bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.
All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.
Crews says he won't celebrate until he wins the main event.
Shelton Benjamin is coming back.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can't be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.
Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It's really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn't say anything.
Baron Corbin says he'll win.
It's time for MizTV with special guest.....The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he'll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he'll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.
Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Non-title. They're quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.
Video on American Alpha. They're here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don't have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.
A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn't happy that he wasn't drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there's a name I never thought I'd hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.
AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he's too good. Why else wouldn't the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?
Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he'll have the whole world in his hands.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ's head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn't be seen in a six way match.
We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that's how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo's toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there's no referee. Cena finally remembers he's in this match and AA's Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.
Crews and Wyatt take AA's as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.
Results
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin Superkick to Styles
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 27, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Brooklyn is still on the horizon and it's time to start setting up more of the card. The big story coming off last week is Bayley defeating Nia Jax again to presumably become #1 contender the Women's Title. The other interesting thing should be seeing some of these people for the last time before they head up to the main roster. Let's get to it.
New opening sequence.
Earlier today, Blake and Murphy got in another argument over who carried the team. I thought we were pretty clear that it was Bliss.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Wesley Blake
This is the new Blake, meaning Blake with tassels on his boots. The fans sing Nakamura's song and Blake isn't sure what to think. Blake blows a kiss to Nakamura, who catches it and stomps on it to go.....I guess bigger face? Good Vibrations has Blake in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline and we hit a chinlock. For some reason Blake tries Good Vibrations, earning himself a kick to the face. The reverse exploder sets up Kinshasa for the pin on Blake at 4:30.
I spoke too soon as here's William Regal to announce Nakamura vs. Joe for the title at Takeover.
Billie Kay vs. Santana Garrett
Feeling out process to start with Billie working on an armbar. A dropkick puts Billie down but she forearms Santana in the back to take over again. The announcers keep talking about Billie's recent Smackdown appearance going to her head as Garrett starts her comeback. It's not much of a comeback though as Billie kicks her in the face for the pin at 3:07.
We look at Bayley appearing at Battleground.
Bayley asks Regal for a title shot in Brooklyn and her request is granted pending Asuka's approval. Why does he need Asuka's approval and not Joe's?
We get a promo for someone sitting in the moonlight with a voice saying the universe is shifting.
TM61 vs. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails
Miller and Nails start things off with Adrian being sent to the mat so Thorn can jump on his back. A standing moonsault/jumping fist drop combo suggests that this isn't going to go long. Ryzin comes in to punch Thorn down in the corner but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Miller. Thunder Valley ends Nails at 3:07.
Handshakes all around post match.
We look back at Austin Aries turning full heel on No Way Jose, who attacked Aries two weeks back.
Hideo Itami returns next week.
No Way Jose vs. Steve Cutler
I want to cheer for Cutler for the facial hair alone. We start with a good old fashioned dancing wristlock but Cutler makes the mistake of hitting Jose in the face to fire him up. Some right hands and a hiptoss set up the Baseball Punch, followed by a cobra clutch slam to end Cutler at 1:52.
Post match Jose says he wants Aries because all he was trying to do was show Austin how to have fun. There won't be any dancing next time because it's time for a whipping.
Buddy Murphy vs. Kota Ibushi
This is Ibushi's NXT debut. Some shoulders put Kota down to start but he gets in a nice dropkick and a kick to the chest to send Buddy outside. Back in and Murphy knees him in the back to set up a chinlock but the fans keep cheering away. Buddy gets a close two off some running knees (WAY too common of a move around here) but gets his head kicked into the fourth row.
A German suplex gives Ibushi two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. Murphy sends him face first into the middle buckle for two but makes the eternal mistake of putting a high flier on the top rope. Ibushi can't quite get a sunset bomb so he settles for a sitout powerbomb and the pin at 5:21.
Joe feels disrespected about not being told of his title defense.
Bobby Roode debuts next week.
Here's Joe for a chat to close the show. Apparently he was just told about the title defense when he got here. So he didn't show up until about eight minutes left in the show? Champion's privilege I guess. Joe will NOT be defending the title against an undeserving contender like Nakamura. This brings out Regal to say oh yes you will defend that title against who I say you will but Joe still isn't happy.
Regal looks especially ticked off as Joe tells him that they can go to Regal's office and determine an opponent of whom Joe approves. Regal says fight Nakamura of the title is forfeited. That's enough for Joe and the match is on, assuming he doesn't take out Nakamura before Brooklyn. Cue Nakamura to make a telescope with his hands (because he can) and stare down Joe as we go off the air.
Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Wesley Blake Kinshasa
Billie Kay b. Santana Garrett Big Boot
TM61 b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails Thunder Valley to Nails
No Way Jose b. Steve Cutler Cobra clutch slam
Kota Ibushi b. Buddy Murphy Sitout powerbomb
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
Tonight is still about finding a #1 contender for the World Title as we have the semifinals of the Bound For Glory Playoff with four people still possibly advancing to fight Lashley. Speaking of Lashley he now holds both the TNA World and X-Division Titles so we'll have to see what he does with both belts. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's first round to get us to the final four.
Here's Matt Hardy for his match but first, Matt summons Brother Nero to the ring, meaning we get to hear Reby say OBSOLETE over and over again. Matt commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight despite THAT NOT BEING PART OF THE STORY. We're still not ready as Matt growls at Ethan like an intoxicated gorilla. Ethan says nothing, including Senor Benjamin or Vanguard 1 bringing a dilapidated boat to the ring and dropping it on his head. Matt: You are nothing more.... Ethan: MY PROMO IS NOT OVER!!! Carter says this man is Jeff Hardy and he is a relevant creature.
Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Matt bites the hand to block a chop so Carter goes with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Ethan tweak his ankle. A belly to belly suplex lets Matt kick at the leg but Ethan kicks him out to the floor for a dive. That just hurts his ankle again though and Ethan has to break out of the Twist of Fate. A Stinger Splash looks to set up the TK3 but Matt kicks the ankle again. The second TK3 works but Reby throws in the hammer. The referee is distracted by.....I think Jeff but Matt gets caught with the hammer anyway. As the referee takes it away, Ethan takes his own boot off to knock Matt out, followed by the 1%er to advance at 7:30.
Madison Rayne is annoyed at Maria and Allie so they give her Gail Kim tonight.
Post break, Matt yells at Jeff and promises to make it worse.
Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim
No entrances. Gail gets an early two off a backbreaker but Madison knees her in the ribs and a kick to the head gets two. An enziguri gets the same for Madison and there's a slide into a clothesline against the bottom rope. Back up and Gail hits a quick Eat Defeat for the win at 4:59.
Mike Bennett and Moose are ready to destroy Lashley.
Rosemary and Bram meet in the woods and we get a flashback to Rosemary looking normal. When she was younger (as in early 20s) she had a cat. One day the cat got sick so she took it to mama, who told her everything would be ok. Then her Mama threw the cat in a trashcan to make Rosemary crazy like she is today. Back to reality, Bram thinks Rosemary is a little weird but they stop to look at a barn. It's always a barn.
Moose vs. David Star
David is sat on the top rope for a dropkick out to the floor but Star comes back with a running dropkick. A pop up apron powerbomb ends Star's run though and probably most of his career at the same time. Back in the and the Gamebreaker (basically a Rainmaker but with a discus lariat but without pulling Star in, making the spin rather pointless) ends Star at 2:22.
Post match here's Lashley to come after Moose. We come back from a break with Mike Bennett pulling Moose back from Lashley and asking who wants to see this match. Eh not yet though as Bennett wants Moose to wait because Bennett needs him in the corner for the playoff match later.
The two of them leave so Lashley says he's already got two titles but he wants all the singles gold. This brings out DJZ to suck up a bit so Lashley says DJZ can pick the match type for the X-Division Title match (remember that DJZ became #1 contender at Ultimate X). DJZ picks a ladder match and it's on right now. Thankfully there are ladders ready just in case Lashley allowed DJZ to pick a stipulation.
X-Division Title: Lashley vs. DJZ
Lashley is defending and it's a ladder match. DJZ gets thrown around to start but scores with a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Lashley throws the ladder out of the ring because he can so they head outside with DJZ hitting a flip dive off the announcers' table. Back from a break with Lashley crushing DJZ with a ladder and no selling a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his chest.
Back in and the Dominator plants DJZ but he's still able to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. That's not enough for the climb though as Lashley lifts up the ladder and DJZ at the same time (Pope: That's not something you'll see in the X-Division. Except for right now, when we're seeing it in the X-Division.). DJZ grabs a quick tornado DDT to plant Lashley but he slams DJZ off the ladder and retains at 12:38.
Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway want to fight each other in the finals.
Bram and Rosemary look at the barn and Rosemary asks if it matters. We go to the flashback again with Rosemary talking to a tree about some guy named John. Rosemary writes in a journal and signs an R in her own blood. This keeps cutting in and out with pictures in her Decay attire and is all over the place like the Final Deletion style videos. Back in reality, Bram says it doesn't matter if we hear about these old things because they're here now. To be continued.
It's time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli calls Lashley a cross eyed halfwit and says you can't just go around collecting titles like this is Pokemon Go. He likes the odds of putting Lashley's two titles against his one but here's James Storm to interrupt. Drake says he was calling out contenders and not a drunk. Storm brings up the DQ in their match and offers Drake another beer. Eli pulls out a jug of water but Storm kicks it out to the floor. Storm: WATER SUCKS!
That's still a no so Storm makes parent sex jokes, earning himself a bunch of dummy's. Drake will give him another shot but if Storm loses, he can't have any more beer, can't ride the Boozer Cruiser and can't use that stupid country song. So.....he wants Storm deleted? Storm takes a swig of beer, drinks the one he had for Drake, and says it's on. A belt shot misses but Drake gets in a low blow and Blunt Force Trauma.
Tyrus is still ready to fix your problems.
Grado calls Tyrus to try and get his help against the Tribunal but he and Mahabali Shera have no money. There's a match next week.
Decay beats the BroMans down in the back and there's a match up next.
Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans
Joined in progress with only Raquel at ringside. Decay is defending and this is Monster's Ball just because. The champs are in control and pouring tacks out onto the mat as this is one sided so far. Jesse gets slammed down would rather grab a chair than follow up. Robbie ducks a double clothesline so Robbie can springboard in with a double clothesline of his own as the challengers take over.
Abyss gets a chair dropkicked into his face and a double spear sends him through a barbed wire board. Jesse grabs the Adonis Lock with Steve's face in the tacks but Abyss breaks it up and throws him through a table at ringside. Cue another barbed wire board and Janice (of course) but Raquel sneaks in with a low blow to save her buddies. Robbie drops Janice though and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire retains the titles at 6:50.
Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III
Moose jumps Galloway during the entrance and powerbombs him onto the apron. Drew still says ring the bell because disqualifications cannot possibly happen before the bell. Bennett slowly beats him down until Drew grabs an overhead belly to belly to get himself a breather. A quick cutter gives Mike two and he throws Galloway outside. They head outside with Bennett going chest first into the bottom of the ring (as in the wood that holds it up) for two.
Drew tries Futureshock but spins Mike around first. That's not enough though as Bennett slips away and punches the referee by mistake. Cue Moose to take Galloway out with a middle rope Sky High but Bennett only gets two. Now it's Carter to go after Moose and send him into the steps, only to miss a kendo stick shot which hits Galloway by mistake. Moose pulls Carter to the floor, leaving Mike to hit the MIP for the pin at 7:46.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy 1%er
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne Eat Defeat
Moose b. David Star Gamebreaker
Lashley b. DJZ Lashley pulled down the title
Decay b. BroMans Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board
Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway MIP
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns Coup de Grace
Smackdown
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin Superkick to Styles
NXT
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Wesley Blake Kinshasa
Billie Kay b. Santana Garrett Big Boot
TM61 b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nails Thunder Valley to Nails
No Way Jose b. Steve Cutler Cobra clutch slam
Kota Ibushi b. Buddy Murphy Sitout powerbomb
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy 1%er
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne Eat Defeat
Moose b. David Star Gamebreaker
Lashley b. DJZ Lashley pulled down the title
Decay b. BroMans Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board
Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway MIP