How TNA rewarded my loyalty... without even using LAX
or
How I accomplished my life long dream
I returned not twenty minutes ago. Initial impressions, before I allow everything to sink in. Pretty good. Pretty fuckin' good. Perhaps not as good as last time (how can you hope to equal the atmosphere of an Essex Leisure Centre!?), but pretty good nonetheless.
The night kicked off with a four-way for the X Division title. I think. Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Doug Williams vs. Eric Young. No prizes for guessing who won. Yeah, Doug Williams. No, not really. 'Twas Shelley. Impressive match, if a little throwaway. Doug hitting Chaos Theory and Shelley hitting Sliced Bread II for the win made it worthwhile. Not to mention that I'm a massive Shelley mark.
I can't remember what the next match was. Try as I might, I honestly cannot remember. Incredible. It mustn't have been pretty good, or maybe I'm just trying to think up a match that simply wasn't there. TNA.com says I
did imagine it. No, fucking wait. It was Creed against Steiner. Yeah, good enough.
One thing I'm sure of was there was a women's match. I melodramatically leapt off for a piss break but promptly returned as I realised I didn't need to go. I tried my best to not be a moody cunt, and got involved a little, cheering when anything to do with tits or knickers occurred. It was ODB and Taylor vs. TBP. ODB felt everyone's tits - yes, even Taylor's. The faces one and then one of the Beautiful People - the blonde one? - cut a really whiny promo. Something about running from sex. I tried not to listen. It hurt to listen.
Brutus Magnus made what I assume to be his in-ring debut against Sheik Abdul... Davairi. Crowd was into it, but was dead in comparison to pretty much all the other matches. Magnus isn't awful, but he performed the worst on the card. Wait, that's not fair, 3D were on this card. Bashir cheated. match was restarted, "Magnus" won. Give a shit.
Team 3D and Beer Money had a London Street Fight. Not a touch on the match Beer Money had last year against LAX. Was kind of cool to see 3D hit the, uh, 3D on someone through a table live. I'll give them props for the long promo they cut afterwards - they can work a crowd. They gave a little kid a piece of the table. Awful nice of them.
Interval. I contemplate the surprising confidence the obese fuck next to me has. I only call him a fuck because he was sitting in my chair at the same time he was sitting in his. Otherwise, nice guy. Oh yeah, and Dixie Carter did a photo opportunity in front of me. At the start of the show, that is. Huge line. I got a picture of her from where I was sitting. Go figure.
Dixie Carter comes out. Accidentally says we spend dollars instead of pounds! Boos all round. Oh, and I got on TV apparently. Though I was cleaning my teeth with my tongue when I saw a camera pointed at me. Swear I saw the bastard pull away from me. Foley comes out and cuts a great promo. Sings the song from The Wrestler. Talks about either a PPV or "special" coming to the UK. I'm in.
Joe and Styles then face Morgan and Abyss in a great match. Morgan actually won me over here - great heel. His inability to sell didn't show at all. Absolutely great match, ends with AJ hitting the springboard 450. Coincidentally, he got the biggest pop of the night, bar none. Abyss and Morgan argue after. Abyss almost hits Morgan with a chair but he runs off.
Angle then takes on Jarrett in the match of the night. Fucking great. Crowd was split. I accomplished my life long dream of seeing Kurt Angle live - and in an awesome match. So many false finishes. Angle did a moonsault, Ankle Lock and Angle Slam. I can die happy. They do the BFG ending all over again, with Foley coming out and all. Jarrett's music hits and I hot foot it out of there. I'm told Jarrett, Styles, Joe and Foley thanked the fans after the match. Give a shit. I had traffic to beat.
I actually enjoyed the show a lot more than it seems - I was surprised how into it I was. But still, no LAX.