The Lightning Wrestling Federation!

[strafro]

Here are my predictions:

Money in the Bank: Gotta go with my boy Johnny Nitro, please keep that name for him.

I feel like there's a strange reason Punk/Dykstra are paired together so I am assuming they will win the straps.

I cannot stand Mark Henry, but feel like he's gonna win.

Women's Title: I can't pick against Trish.

Lightweight Title: Styles and London are both outstanding, but AJ is phoenomenal so he wins.

IC Title: I am hoping for Rhyno, but saying that Umaga will win.

Cade/Murdoch over Cryme Tyme.

Orton defeats Kane and then the Undertaker to win the belt.

Triple H wins the Elimination Chamber match.

And you really do have a lot of titles. I'll get a nice review up once the show is on here.

 

[Colamania]

Here are my predictions:

Money in the Bank: Gotta go with my boy Johnny Nitro, please keep that name for him.

I feel like there's a strange reason Punk/Dykstra are paired together so I am assuming they will win the straps.

I cannot stand Mark Henry, but feel like he's gonna win.

Women's Title: I can't pick against Trish.

Lightweight Title: Styles and London are both outstanding, but AJ is phoenomenal so he wins.

IC Title: I am hoping for Rhyno, but saying that Umaga will win.

Cade/Murdoch over Cryme Tyme.

Orton defeats Kane and then the Undertaker to win the belt.

Triple H wins the Elimination Chamber match.

And you really do have a lot of titles. I'll get a nice review up once the show is on here.

Punk and Dykstra are teamed together purely because they are part of a new stable in the LWF, Young Blood. It also includes MVP and Mr. Kennedy, this is the reason why all of those 4 are face. For now...

I don't think I have a lot of titles. Four on each brand, that's ok isn't it?

LWF Breaking News

Yes, here's a news update from the Lightning Wrestling Federation. Shane McMahon has revealed that the new general managers of the LWF's seperate brands will be revealed at Combat Shock! Mr McMahon promises that these 2 personalities will be big, and that the wrestling world will be revolutionized...

again!

 

[Colamania]

The video screen comes alive with a flicker… a package starts…

Footage from Raw, Shane O’Mac on the video screen years ago… “I now own WCW!”… 6 years ago later, and Shane O’s never done anything with it… Shane in the ring, “WCW simply became amalgamated into the WWE pot… but, I still own that section of World Wrestling Entertainment… and, after it becomes clear to me that my “dear” father plans to bury everyone else in this company, bury any actual wrestling talent to put himself over, well, it’s time to say goodbye and leave… using that stock of course. I own a considerable amount of WWE. And now, it’s being reborn into the Lightning Wrestling Federation!”… And we fade into a voiceover…

“Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s company has been gutted from the inside out… the main competitor loses some of it’s top stars… they all come to one place… ladies and gentlemen, this is the Lightning Wrestling Federation!”

The arena is lit by fireworks exploding from all directions which, in a bold move, all strike the same place in the ceiling: a huge flag depicting the WWE logo, which is torn into shreds. The fireworks stop suddenly, for a second there is silence. Then, a new flag falls down into place, the LWF logo waving proud! The fans erupt into cheers, and a new company is born. Shane O’Mac has done it; the LWF has come to life!

J.R: Hello everybody and welcome to the Lightning Wrestling Federation! I’m here alongside John “Bradshaw” Layfield for the first ever LWF show, the extravaganza known as Combat Shock!
JBL: Tonight is about making a statement, the kind of statement Shane made on… that Monday night show when he announced he was leaving, and taking most of the company’s top stars with him! Tonight, everything is decided, all the titles are up for grabs, with, including the LWF title tournament, a total of 11 huge matches!
J.R: Huge indeed, and none bigger than the structure hanging over our heads at this very moment, the Elimination Chamber! 6 men step into there; one will walk out as LWF World Champion!
JBL: And the question in that match is, will anyone stop the monster that is The Great Khali?
J.R: Also, as you mentioned partner, the LWF Title is on the line in a tournament! Kane and Orton meet in the semi-finals of this thing, as do Undertaker and Batista, then the winners face off immediately in the final!

*Camera swings up to the Money in the Bank briefcase*
Lillian Garcia: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is the 7-Man Money In The Bank ladder match! Now, to win this match, you have to set up a ladder, climb it and retrieve the briefcase! The winner or the match will have a guaranteed title shot at any time in the next year, from tomorrow night up to Combat Shock 2008!

*Mr Kennedy’s Music Hits*
Kennedy walks out onto the stage, holds his hand up to the heavens and his microphone lowers down from up high. “Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you the man who, for the first time ever, will win 2 Money in the Bank matches in a row. The man who will be the first man ever to win a match in the biggest wrestling company in the world, the Lightning Wrestling Federation. Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight I weigh in at 242 pounds! I hail from Green Bay, Wisconsin! MISTERRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDY! *The microphone goes back up and Kennedy begins to walk to the ring. Half way down the ramp, he stops and pulls a microphone from his waistband. “KENNEDY!” Kennedy gets to the ring, and is soon joined by MVP, Johnny Nitro, Carlito, Chris Masters and Jeff Hardy. The crowd fell silent in an awe-inspiring moment. They stood in anticipation of the return to in-ring competition of a former World’s Champion... suddenly, the words ring out, with no music behind them, just the words. What ya gonna do when he comes for you? Then, it exploded into Booyaka 619, the crowd roared their approval, fireworks exploded on the stage and Rey Mysterio flew up into the air! Rey came down to the ring with the crowd still screaming. The music stopped, and the 7 men stared at each other in the ring, then, as a group, looked up at the money in the bank briefcase. Their ultimate goal… the crowd started chanting 619, which apparently infuriated Mr Kennedy, who happened to be stood next to Mysterio, and he spun and gave Rey a straight punch. This started a brawl, and the match was on!

*Bell rings*

The competitors were quickly separating out into battles in the separate corners, MVP slipping out into one corner, Masters and Hardy fighting in another, Nitro getting cheap shots into Carlito, and Kennedy stomping on Rey, with the crowd booing him like never before. Suddenly, Kennedy and MVP begin to work together to eliminate the competition, showing that, as their slogan went, Young Blood is thicker than water. They double-clothesline Carlito over the ropes, then move across to the opposite corner and toss Masters through the ropes. Hardy attacks them, but Nitro takes down Jeff, and the Young Blood’s representatives hit Hardy with a double suplex, only to then take Nitro out with a pair of right hands. They turn round straight into a solid ladder to the face from Carlito! Carlito then knocks down Nitro as he stands back up, and Rey takes a shot to the face. Suddenly, Hardy springs up and nails Carlito from behind, then throws him out of the ring. He grabs the ladder and nails MVP as he comes into the ring, sending him back to the outside. Hardy then throws himself over the ropes and onto MVP as he stands! As everyone’s down, the camera’s catch that MVP’s head is busted open by Hardy’s ladder shot. Suddenly, Chris Masters dives into the ring and sets the ladder up, and begins to make his way to the top. However, Jeff Hardy comes back into the ring with another ladder, and hits Masters in the leg with it before he’s even half way up. Masters’ climb is stopped, and Jeff sets the other ladder up next to Masters’. He quickly climbs until he’s a couple of steps above Masters, then delivers a huge Tornado DDT off the ladders! MVP and Kennedy both pull themselves up, and waste little time attempting to win the briefcase. Suddenly, Rey Mysterio springboards off of the top rope, landing perfectly half way up a ladder. The crowd cheers as he climbs to the top. However, Kennedy transfers off of the ladder that Rey is on onto MVP’s ladder on the opposite side. Then, he and MVP tip the ladder over, but in an astounding show of athleticism, Rey lands on his feet on the apron, and delivers a springboard dropkick to the remaining ladder, sending Kennedy and MVP to the outside of the ring and face first into the barriers! Rey quickly pulled the ladder back up, and then began to climb again, but Nitro comes into the ring and pulls Rey off of the ladder, then chops him back into the corner. Rey quickly slides through Nitro’s legs, up onto his feet and half way up the ladder. Nitro turns, and Rey nails a moonsault off of the ladder onto him! Jeff Hardy rolls to the outside, and goes at Mr Kennedy, Irish Whipping him into the barricade on the lower side of the ring. Kennedy falls in front of the announce table. Hardy goes across after him, but Kennedy was playing possum, and pulls a ladder up sharply into Hardy’s face, busting him wide open! Jeff goes down, and Kennedy attacks, flying in with lefts and rights. Hardy ducks a right hand and quickly gets in a shot to the gut. He jumps up onto the ring steps, then onto the apron, and delivers a leg drop to the back of Kennedy’s head, driving him face first into the floor. Hardy quickly de-constructs the announce table’s cover and monitors, then drags Kennedy up, and smacks a monitor around his head! Kennedy drops to the ground, and Hardy pulls him up onto the table. Hardy then grabs the bloody ladder Kennedy bust him open with and began to climb.

J.R: Oh My God! Jeff Hardy is on the very top of that ladder!
JBL: Those Spanish idiots better get the hell out of the way!

Jeff stands on the very top of the ladder, and pulls the two fingers-thumbs sticking out Hardyz pose, when out of nowhere MVP runs into the ladder, and Hardy is launched half way back into the audience! Hardy crashes down somewhere in the crowd, as the entire arena stands shocked at the death defying 15 foot drop he just took! MVP goes towards the announce table where Kennedy is lying, but he stops and turns his head. The ladder still stands centre of the ring, with the briefcase hanging above it. His first taste of victory in the LWF could come in the Money in the Bank ladder match… he slides into the ring and begins to climb the ladder. Carlito jumps up onto the ring apron, dives into the ring and climbs the ladder. He and MVP begin to battle, one hand on the briefcase, and one hand swinging at each other. Carlito swings his stronger left hand and nails MVP right in his bloody face. Carlito grabs MVP with both hands around the back of the head and rams his face into the ladder, then climbs to the top step. Just as it appeared he was setting up for a sunset powerbomb, Johnny Nitro dropkicks the ladder. Carlito drops straight off the ladder and lands crotched on the top rope, but MVP stays slouched across the top of the ladder. Nitro steps towards the ladder; but Masters grabs him in the Masterlock! As Nitro flails to break the grip of Masters, Carlito slides a ladder into the ring, and then climbs in himself. He scoops up the ladder, and uses it as a battering ram straight into the back of Masters’ head! Nitro is released from the Masterlock, and turns straight into a ladder shot from Carlito. Carlito sets up the ladder next to the one which MVP is still slumped across the top. Carlito climbs the ladder, convinced that he will not be denied his first chance at a major title in the LWF! He got to the top of the ladder, and reached up for the briefcase, when MVP suddenly performed an amazing 12 foot spear to send himself and Carlito crashing down to the floor. Rey Mysterio was the next man to his feet, having recovered from his huge moonsault, and began to climb the ladder. Rey made it right to the top of the ladder, and began struggling with the briefcase. Just as it looked like he was about to take the prize, someone dove into the ring and tipped the ladder over. Jeff Hardy! He’s somehow recovered from his death-defying fall! Hardy starts a slow, painful rise up the remaining standing ladder. Chris Masters pulls the other ladder up and climbs up, quicker than Hardy is going, and it looked like he was going to get there first. Suddenly, someone begins running down the ramp. Jeff’s girlfriend, Candice Michelle! Candice slides into the ring, and grabs Masters’ leg. Suddenly, Candice climbs one or two steps, pulls the old fairy wand from her waistband, and sticks it somewhere painful! Masters drops off of the ladder, his face screwed up in un-imaginable pain. Jeff arrives at the top of the ladder, grabs the briefcase and becomes the LWF’s first Mr Money In The Bank!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match winner: Jeff Hardy.

J.R: My God, what an effort! What an amazing effort from all of these men and finally, Jeff Hardy is the man who pulls the win out of the bag and is the LWF’s first Mr. Money in the Bank!
JBL: And what an opportunity this young man now has, when will he cash it in? Any time from tomorrow night all the way up to Combat Shock 2 next year! This will be huge, Jeff Hardy, Mr Money in the Bank!

*Advertisement*

J.R: Well, JBL, tonight we’ve seen the money in the bank briefcase claimed. And now, it’s title time. Every single match remaining tonight is to win a championship, and we’re starting off with the LWF Tag Team Championships!
JBL: The debut of this new faction, the Young Blood, has already happened tonight with MVP and Mr Kennedy in the money in the bank ladder match, but now can they work as a team is the question, particularly Kenny Dykstra and CM Punk.

*50’s Groove Music*

Lillian Garcia: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the LWF Tag Team Championships! On their way to the ring, accompanied by Cherry, Deuce and Domino!

JBL: One time former Tag Team Champions, Deuce and Domino, and the extremely hot Cherry!
J.R: I hear that apparently Cherry is Domino’s cousin and Deuce’s “main squeeze”.

*When We Were Young by The Killers*

Lillian: And their opponents, representing the Young Blood, CM Punk and Kenny Dykstra!

J.R: Oh-oh, look out, here they come!
JBL: Charging towards the ring and diving straight in, here we go!

*Bell Rings*

Punk and Dykstra quickly attack the larger men, Punk knocking Deuce off his feet as Dykstra punches Domino onto the ropes. Dykstra runs at Domino – and Domino airlifts him straight over the ropes! Domino crosses the ring and grabs Punk, and Deuce gives him a shot straight to the face. Domino climbs out onto the apron and officially begins the match as Deuce stomps Punk. Deuce picks Punk up off the floor, whips him into the ropes and clotheslines him straight back down! Deuce continuing to stomp Punk as he’s on the floor. Suddenly, Punk catches his foot, and rolls sidewards sending Deuce down onto his face! Dykstra hops up onto the apron as Punk latches in a quick crossface-style submission hold. Punk pulls off of the hold, runs off the ropes and nails a low dropkick to the ribs as Deuce attempts to get up. Punk drops a quick elbow across the chest of Deuce, and drags him across to the Young Blood corner. He drops down into a leg lock and reaches up his hand. Kenny gets the tag, then pulls off a springboard elbow from the top rope to the back of Deuce’s head! Kenny stands up and pulls Deuce to his feet, then springs off the second rope into a springboard tornado DDT. Uh-oh, Deuce lands him on his feet, picks him up over the shoulder, Kenny’s arms flailing out and Deuce slams him into a huge spinebuster! Deuce with the pin, but the ref isn’t counting, why not? CM Punk latches him into an STF on the floor; the ref is signalling that Dykstra made the tag when he was over Deuce’s shoulder!

JBL: I thought he was close to that corner; it looks like it’s a tag!
J.R: Can he get out of this STF?

Deuce is nowhere near the ropes and his size is basically ruled out by the superb technical skill of Punk. This match could be over earlier than we thought here, or maybe not, here comes Domino to break it up with… oh my God! A violent kick right in the ribs! Punk can barely breathe, and now Deuce is headed across the ring towards his corner, and Domino’s there waiting for the tag. He rushes in and scoops up Punk, straight up onto the shoulders, and drives him down in a powerful Samoan Drop. Punk almost yelling out in pain as Domino starts stomping on his ribs, adding more punishment to the injury. Punk tries to crawl across to Dykstra, and Domino lets him within a hair’s length of the Dykstra’s hand before pulling him backwards and dropping an elbow down onto the ribs of Punk. He picks him up and suplexes him, enjoying Punk’s cry of pain as he hits the floor. He simply continues to punish Punk for a while, then takes him to a corner not occupied by one of their partners and puts him up top. He goes up for a superplex, but Punk gets in a couple of shots to the gut, then shoves Domino backwards. He tries to drop, but sees Domino start to get up and knows it’s all or nothing. So he jumps to the top rope, and goes all or nothing, coast to coast, and Dykstra reaches out and gets the blind tag from the leg. He jumps straight up and springboards off the top into a clothesline, then knocks down Deuce as he comes across the ring. Dykstra begins to hand out dropkicks and clotheslines to all comers, then knocks Cherry off the apron as she jumps up in an attempt to distract Kenny. He grabs Domino and nails him with a DDT, then low bridges the top rope to send Deuce over. However, Deuce lands on his feet, unbeknownst to Dykstra, and trips him as he moves towards Domino. Kenny stumbles, and Domino nails him with a straight right hand capable of knocking him out. Deuce slides into the ring as Domino picks him up. Domino holds Kenny up, and Deuce takes a run up for the big boot. Suddenly, Kenny ducks and Deuce kicks Domino right in the mouth! CM Punk suddenly comes out of nowhere, taking himself and Deuce out through the ropes. Dykstra hops up to the top rope, stands tall, then flies and nails the Guillotine Leg Drop, gets the cover, and we have new tag team champions!

Winners and new LWF Tag Team Champions: Kenny Dykstra & CM Punk

*Backstage Segment*

[Orton is in his locker room, getting himself pumped up for the championship tournament later tonight, when suddenly Edge walks in from one side]

Edge: Well, well. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? Huh? Me and you, different goals to accomplish in one night. What was it? One Night Stand? What happened then again… oh yeah, I walked out World Champion, just like I’ll do tonight, and you got beat by a man with a concussion!
Orton: What do you want, Edge? Just here to gloat? Well, let me tell you, the only one of us walking out of here with a title tonight is me.
Edge: Oh, you seriously think that? To do that Randy, you either have to go through a monster and an animal, or through both of the brothers of destruction in one night. Think you can do that? *Laughs contemptuously* I don’t think so.
Orton: Yeah, and you’re gonna be locked in a cage, locked in a chamber, with a 7 foot 3 destructive force that will go through you like that [snapping fingers]. I don’t think so either.
Edge: I guess we’ll… agree to wish each other good luck tonight, huh?
Orton: Well, you need it.
Edge: So do you, “buddy”. So do you.

[Shake hands, staring straight into each other’s eyes]

J.R: An odd confrontation between 2 men faced with huge tasks tonight if either will walk out as champion!
JBL: And speaking of huge tasks, it’s lesson time for Ric Flair! Oh boy, Shane O’Mac finally gets his revenge as Flair takes on Mark Henry in a Streetfight!

[Video Package]
Shane McMahon (on screen): Ric Flair exploited me. Simple as. Back in 2002 he exploited the efforts of myself and my sister to overthrow our father by taking all our stock for himself and became 50% owner of the company. Of course, my father took Ric down; however I never got my revenge. Until now. Ric Flair, you will wrestle for the Allied title at Combat Shock. You will wrestle Mark Henry in a Streetfight! [Cut back to ringside, and…]

*Some Body’s Gonna Get It by Three 6 Mafia*

Lillian Garcia: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a Streetfight and it is for the Allied Forces title! Introducing first, from Silsbee, Texas, weighing in at 390 pounds, The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry!

J.R: One of the best wrestlers in the history of the sport is about to be destroyed by this animal, the silverback Mark Henry.
JBL: He’s going to destroy him! Ric Flair will be left in a bloody pulp, and he will know not to mess with Shane McMahon ever again!

*Also sprach Zarathustra*

Lillian: And his opponent, from Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 243 pounds, The “Nature Boy” Ric Flair!

J.R: Oh man, even the Nature Boy himself looks unhappy as he walks to the ring, grim faced as he approaches the possible end of his career!
JBL: Ric is about to get taught a lesson! Here we go!

Suddenly, Mark Henry slides under the bottom rope and attacks Flair on the outside! Ric is lifted up above Henry’s head and dropped onto the security rail face first, and Henry continues to stomp Flair on the outside. He pulls Flair to his feet, and whips him into the barrier again. Flair goes down screaming and holding his back. Henry scoops him up off the floor, and lifts him clean off his feet, driving him onto the thin mats of the outside with the World’s Strongest Slam! The ref calls for the EMTs, but Henry isn’t done. He sets up a table at ringside, and pulls Flair onto it. It is obvious to everyone that Henry had no intention of winning the match, and was sent out to destroy Naitch. Henry climbs (with some difficulty) onto the security barrier and gives Flair the World’s Strongest Splash through the table!

J.R: This match has been declared a no-contest and this is a sad moment, Ric Flair being taken out of here on a stretcher after this heinous assault by Mark Henry, by order of…

[Shane McMahon appears on screen in his office]

J.R: Oh, come on, what’s this?

Shane: [Laughing] Screw me over will you Flair? Well now you know what to expect when you mess with a McMahon (door opens, Shane turns to someone off screen) ah! Speaking of which, [smiles] I’m glad you’ve gotten here ok. Good to see you [Shane walks off screen, and we hear his voice fade with the sentence] so you thought the offer over?

J.R: What is going on around here? That weird face-off between Edge and Orton, now Shane McMahon talking to someone about an offer he’s made…
JBL: Who cares? Ric Flair finally got taught a lesson! Long Live Shane McMahon and the Lightning Wrestling Federation!!!

*Who I Am by Chyna*

Lillian: The following contest is a fatal four way match and it is for the LWF Women’s championship! Introducing first, from Rochester, New York, Chyna!

JBL: The return of the most dominant woman in the history of professional wrestling, and hot-diggety-damn I’m happy about it! Chyna looking hot!
J.R: Indeed one of the most dominant women ever, the only female Intercontinental champion ever, the only woman ever to enter the Royal Rumble, the only woman ever to enter the King Of The Ring tournament, and of course has already held one Women’s title in the past.
JBL: She’s the wild card here, J.R, she’s never really faced any of her opponents, except for one memorable victory over Lita in 2001.

*Time to Rock And Roll by Lil Kim*

Lillian: From Toronto, Canada, Trish Stratus!

JBL: Another returning legend, this is a great night! Trish, Chyna, Lita and of course Flair getting what he deserved!
J.R: You disgust me…
JBL: Like I care, Trish Stratus is in the ring!

*Lovefurypassionenergy: Remix by Boy Hits Car*

Lillian: From Sanford, North Carolina, Lita!

J.R: The real question here is, in my opinion, can the last competitor keep up with these three extremely experienced and very talented divas?
JBL: I simply don’t think she can J.R, this match will not end happily for this next entrant.

*WWE Production’s Obsessed*

Lillian: And the final competitor, from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James!

J.R: Mickie is out of her depth, no question. Sure, she’s defeated Trish before, but Trish, Lita and Chyna? No chance for her, none at all.

The four ladies separate out and the bell rings to start the match. Chyna simply steps forwards and invites in any of her opponents. Eager to please, Mickie James steps forward, and grapples Chyna. She is thrown quickly to the floor, and the match is started. Chyna continues to work on Mickie as Trish and Lita rekindle their rivalry in the LWF. Trish is knocking Lita back into the corner, and they grapple in the corner as Chyna whips Mickie off the ropes, and clotheslines her back to the floor. Lita ducks under one of Trish’s punches, flipping behind Trish and getting the roll up. However, before the ref even got to get down for a count, Chyna kicked Trish in the back, breaking up the pinfall. Chyna picks Trish up, then in a show of strength picks Trish up above her head, going for the Gorilla Press Slam, but Trish drops down in a headlock. She raises her arm, and runs towards the ropes. She goes up for the Stratusfaction, but Chyna simply lifts her right up and dumps her over the top to the outside! As Trish crumples on the floor, Mickie James runs up behind Chyna, and she and Lita flip Chyna over the ropes from behind! Mickie smiles, but Lita takes this advantage to grab Mickie’s head from behind. She spins around and nails a reverse Twist of Fate! Lita ascends to the top rope for the Litasault, but Chyna grabs Mickie’s foot and pulls her out of the ring. Lita goes for the moonsault, but finds nothing but canvas. Chyna picks Mickie up, and puts her in position, signalling for the powerbomb. Unbeknownst to Chyna, Trish slides into the ring and pulls a groggy Lita to her feet. As Chyna lifts Mickie, Trish hits the Chick Kick, and goes for the cover. Chyna hits a vicious Jack-knife Powerbomb, but the ref’s already counting, and before Chyna can get there, Trish has the three!

New LWF Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus

Chyna is irate, and as Trish is handed her belt, Chyna heads into the ring. Trish turns round into a big boot, as Chyna is furious at the way in which Trish snuck the win. Chyna picks Trish up, and sets her up for the powerbomb. Suddenly, familiar music hits. And, completely unannounced, Chris Jericho makes his return to pro wrestling in the LWF! Y2J speeds to the ring, and goes face to face with Chyna, as she drops Trish to the floor. Suddenly, Jericho grabs Trish’s legs and twists her over into a Walls of Jericho! The crowd can’t believe it, as Chyna smiles sadistically. Jericho drops Trish, and he and Chyna leave the ring, walking up towards the stage in a shower of boos.

J.R: I can’t believe it!
JBL: I know! Chris Jericho is back, right here in the LWF!
J.R: No, that he attacked Trish like that! I don’t know what he was thinking!

 

[Colamania]

*Plugs the upcoming 3-Disc DVD Special of LWF Combat Shock*

J.R: Yes folks, Combat Shock will soon be available on DVD, 3-Disc special edition, and why wouldn’t you want to buy that with matches like this next one?
JBL: Two of the greatest athletes in the world compete for the LWF’s Light Heavyweight championship, this is gonna be good!

*I Am (Heel Remix) by Dale Oliver*

Lillian Garcia: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the LWF Light Heavyweight championship! Introducing first, from Gainesville, Georgia, weighing in at 215 pounds, The Phenomenal AJ Styles!

*WWE Production: Paul London Theme*

Lillian: And his opponent, from Austin, Texas, weighing in at 205 pounds, Paul London!

London hits the ring in typical Paul London fashion, and hops to his feet, only to get dropkicked straight onto his ass! The bell rings, and London pulls himself up using the ropes, and runs at Styles, only to suddenly slide through his legs on his stomach, and hops up behind Styles to dropkick him in the back, sending him across to the ropes. AJ catches the ropes, spins and charges, and nails a flying forearm. Styles bounces off the ropes again, nailing clotheslines every time London gets up, 2 or 3 times. The last time, London is expecting it, and he ducks down, but Styles holds the ropes and stops himself running. London pulls his head up, and Styles runs in and nails an amazing running tornado DDT! Styles heads out to the apron, and goes up top. London pulls himself to his feet, and Styles comes from the top rope down for a cross body, but London gets out of the way and Styles lands hard! London whips Styles into the corner, runs in and jumps up, monkey flipping Styles down onto his back in the middle of the ring. London heads out to the apron, then springboards off the top and body splashes AJ. A quick cover, 1-2- Kickout at the last second! London pulls Styles up and hits a swinging neckbreaker, but he only gets another near fall. London becomes irritated, and pulls Styles up again. He holds him up for a second, as Styles is slumped, apparently only held up by the grip of London. The crowd cheers as London “winds up”. He swings the punch, but suddenly Styles ducks the punch, and flips back into the Pele! Styles goes for the cover, but only gets a two. He grabs London, and sets him up for the Clash, but London rolls through into a quick pinfall, 1-2- NO! Styles just gets out of the cover. Styles kicks London backwards, and he hits the ref. The ref is momentarily knocked back into the corner, and he doesn’t see Styles deliver a low blow! Styles grabs London, sets him up, and hits the Styles Clash! He covers, and the ref counts 1-2-3!

Lillian: Here is your winner, and new LWF Light Heavyweight Champion, The Phenomenal A.J. Styles!

J.R: I do not believe it, The Phenomenal AJ Styles, one of the best pure athletes in the world, has to resort to cheating to win the championship!
JBL: What are you talking about? I didn’t see anything.
J.R: What?
JBL: I’m just playing the part of the referee! Ha-ha! If the ref doesn’t see it, it isn’t cheating, so that was not cheating, just a brilliant move on the part of the new Light Heavyweight champion!
J.R: Well, ladies and gentlemen, up next is a match where there definitely will be no cheating – because anything goes! After this, it’s the barbed wire massacre match!

[Video Promo]

Voiceover: Four men…

J.R: *We see the four men executing their finishers in turn* GORE..! Umaga hits the Samoan spike..! Finlay with the Celtic Cross… T-Bone Suplex..!

Voiceover: Four men bred in violence and destruction…
Four men who must know how to survive in a world of anguish and pain…

J.R: Barbed wire as ropes, barbed wire surrounding the ring, barbed wire on every weapon and in every single place you can think of…

Voiceover: *Begins to distort* Four men… anguish… pain… violence… destruction… *Comes in clear* Know how to survive!

[Back to ringside]

J.R: We’re set up out here, and I have never seen anything like this… these competitors are going to go through hell, and I just hope they come through this without seriously damaging their careers…
JBL: What a set up! We got barbed wire for ropes, barbed wire wrapped round the turnbuckle posts, barbed wire bats, boards wrapped with barbed wire, even steel chairs wrapped with the deadly wire! This is going to be psychotic!

*WWE Productions: Umaga’s Theme*

Lillian Garcia: The following contest is the Barbed Wire Massacre match, and it is for the Intercontinental championship! The only way to win this match is by gaining a pinfall inside the ring. Introducing first, from the Isle of Samoa, weighing in at 342 pounds, Umaga!

J.R: This savage has one of the highest pain thresholds I have ever seen, and that is what many believe will make sure that he leaves here the new Intercontinental champion.
JBL: Umaga has left a path of destruction in his career so far, and no doubt he will continue it here in the LWF.

*Ain’t No Stopping Me by Shelton Benjamin & WWE Productions*

Lillian: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Shelton Benjamin!

J.R: Possibly the odd man out, the only one of these four not necessarily thought of as a fighter, but Shelton’s true athleticism could possibly help him here in this match-up, and if he can avoid punishment and stay fresh, he could possibly pick up a victory!
JBL: Nope. He’s out of his league, and he’s gonna leave in several thousand matchboxes when this things done!

*WWE Production: Finlay’s Theme*

Lillian: From Belfast, Ireland, Finlay!

J.R: What a fighter this man… oh my God!
JBL: No way! He’s carrying a barbed-wire-wrapped-shillelagh!
J.R: What’s gonna happen next?

*Rhino’s old WWF Theme*

Lillian: And finally, from Detroit, Michigan, Rhino!

JBL: One of the most violent competitors ever to step into a wrestling ring, he is in his environment, and I’m not sure what’s gonna stop him!

Rhino charges full speed to the ring, and straight under the bottom rope, leaping to his feet and clotheslining the hell out of Shelton. Finlay swings the shillelagh, but Rhino just knocks Finlay’s arm away, then scoops him up and slams him straight to the floor. He turns, and the fans cheer, as what they all wanted to see comes. Rhino and Umaga, face to face. Umaga yells, attempting to intimidate Rhino, but Rhino just stands his ground, and punches Umaga right in the face! Umaga swings back, but Rhino ducks the shot and runs straight into Umaga! Umaga staggers backwards, and Rhino tries to whip him towards the ropes, but Umaga stops it, pulls Rhino in and hits him with a short arm clothesline. Suddenly, Finlay nails Umaga with the shillelagh! Umaga’s back is ripped to shreds, and Finlay swings the shillelagh again, and hits Umaga in the back of the leg, and he drops to the floor, knee pad and flesh torn apart! Finlay turns, and Shelton dropkicks him in the face, sending the shillelagh spinning through the ropes to the outside. Benjamin pulls Finlay to his feet, and attempts an Irish Whip towards the wire. Finlay drops down to his stomach, and slides under the wire. Shelton runs up to the ropes, and flies over the top, but Finlay swings a steel chair wrapped in wire upwards, and comes into contact with Shelton’s head! Benjamin drops to the floor outside, bloodied. Finlay pulls Shelton to his feet, and scoops him up over the shoulders. He turns around, and delivers a Celtic Cross onto the chair! Finlay turns around, and Rhino punches him straight in the face! Rhino’s ducked out of the ring, and he grabs a table from under the ring, and slides it under the ropes. Rhino then grabs a huge board covered in barbed wire (ala Sting vs. Abyss Prison Yard Match, or Orton vs. Foley Backlash 2004) and shoves it in as well. He goes around the side of the ring, and slides in himself. He stands the table against the ropes, then puts the board up against it! Umaga’s beginning to stand, struggling on his leg. Suddenly, Hornswaggle comes out from under the ring, his hat wrapped in barbed wire! He jumps into the ring, and runs straight into Rhino’s lower areas!

JBL: Holy God! Rhino just got demasculated!

Rhino staggers backwards, and Umaga kicks him right in the chin. Rhino falls down into the corner, straight into the barbed wire! Umaga scoops Hornswaggle up and throws him at Finlay! He then heads over to the other corner, and runs in, delivering the huge behind straight to Rhino! Umaga leaves skin from his back on the wire, but he doesn’t seem to care. Suddenly, Finlay nails Umaga with the chair! Umaga staggers backwards, and Finlay runs at him, but Umaga throws him forwards straight into the wire! Finlay’s caught on the wire, and Umaga pulls Rhino up out of the corner. Umaga stares wildly at Finlay, but suddenly Rhino kicks Umaga right in his injured leg, clotheslines him down, rips Finlay off of the ropes, and spinebusters him down to the canvas! Benjamin drags himself under the ropes as Umaga grabs Rhino from behind. Umaga headbutts Rhino, and he falls down. Rhino’s dragging himself to his feet, as is Benjamin behind him. They are both on their feet. Umaga runs in, Rhino dodges, and Umaga crashes through Benjamin, a barbed wire board, a table, and into the wire ropes! Umaga staggers backwards, turning straight into a Gore! Rhino gets the cover, 1-2-3!

Lillian: Here is your winner and new Intercontinental Champion, The War Machine, Rhino!

JBL: What a brutal match, and look at Benjamin! He’s completely mangled in all that wood and wire! It’s gonna take a while for them to separate him from the wire, but it didn’t take long to separate his back from its skin! My prediction comes true JR.
JR: What? You said Umaga would win!
JBL: No, my other prediction. I told you Shelton would leave in a few thousand matchboxes, and that’s where he’s going!

*Advertisement*

JR: Well, a big hand to the ring crews, they’ve set the ring back up and now it’s time for the final match before the big main events! It’s the World Tag Team Titles, Cade & Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme!

Lillian: The following contest is for the LWF World Tag Team Championships!

*Bringin’ It To Da Hood: A WWE Production*

Lillian: Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York, Shad Gaspard and JTG, Cryme Tyme!

JR: Two men who earned title shots in WWE, but never received them, until now, the very talented (but not exactly by-the-book) Cryme Tyme.
JBL: I can’t believe these guys. How… hey guys! (Cryme Tyme approach announcers’ table) how are you? Hey, JT! *JTG begins a complex handshake with JBL* Alright! (Cryme Tyme head for the ring) See JR, I’m down with these guys!
JR: John, I think you should…
JBL: Oh, will you get your head out of your ass so you can shut your mouth?

*WWE Production: Cade & Murdoch’s Theme*

Lillian: And their opponents, from Texas, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch!

JR: Well, I’m not gonna say anything about Cryme Tyme after that, but these two have a pronounced mean streak in ‘em. Ugh, look at that. (Trevor Murdoch’s face)
JBL: These two are true Texans, they fight, they kick ass, and then they leave. And they enjoy it!

Cade and Murdoch get to the ring, and immediately separate, Cade leaving the ring. JTG and Shad discuss for a few seconds, Shad slipping JBL’s wallet into his back pocket out of the view of the camera (or the announcer), before JTG decides to start off. JTG is doing his characteristic dance, and he slides towards Murdoch, paying for it with a straight right hand knocking him on his ass. Murdoch starts stomping on JTG, attacking him with the boots, but JT swiftly rolls out of the way, shoots up to his feet, and delivers a return right to Murdoch. Murdoch gets up, and receives a series of lefts and rights, then a superbly executed dropkick sends him to the mat. He quickly tags in the bigger Cade, but as Cade is getting into the ring, JTG springboards from the second rope and nails a big clothesline. JTG hits a low dropkick to the ribs as Cade attempts to stand, then a quick forearm to the face. Cade pulls himself up, and JT runs in. Cade elevates him up in a huge back body drop to the floor. Cade scoops up JTG, and slams him. From this point, Cade & Murdoch make frequent tags, punishing JTG. Murdoch is in the ring, going up to the second rope (God only knows why) and goes for the big knee drop. JTG nips up out of nowhere, diving half the length of the ring and getting the tag. Murdoch rolls and gets the tag to Lance Cade. Suddenly, Shad shows his hands. He speaks to Cade & Murdoch. “1000 Dollars each for you to leave right now”.

JBL: Who do you think he stole those 2000 bucks from?
JR: Oh, I’ve no idea… (sarcasm)

Murdoch takes the 1000 and begins to walk! Shad smiles and turns to Cade. Suddenly, Murdoch runs behind Shad, and Cade swings forwards for the Sweet’n’Sour, but Shad lifts the leg that Murdoch is aiming for into a huge big boot which knocks Cade out of the ring, seeming to be a very powerful shot. At the same time, JTG grabs Murdoch, swings him round, and gives him an amazingly powerful right hand. Shad gets him up on the shoulders, JTG runs in, they nail the G9! Shad covers, 1-2-3!

Lillian: Here are your winners and new LWF World Tag Team Champions, Cryme Tyme!

JBL: They did it! I don’t believe it!
JR: The first major tag title win for Cryme Tyme in professional wrestling!
JBL: Hey wait… JTG’s wearing brass knucks! They stole the victory!
JR: That’s not all they stole, John.
JBL: What are you talking about?
JR: I tried to tell you before, but you just me to, I believe, “get my head out of my ass”.
JBL: WHAT IS IT?
JR: Shad’s got your wallet.
JBL: What? *Checks pockets* Dammit!

 

[Colamania]

*Commercial*

JBL: I’m going to get those guys fired, I swear!
JR: Well ladies and gentlemen, it’s main event time! The LWF Championship Tournament, four wrestlers come together to fight for one title, and up first in the semi-finals it’s Kane vs. The Legend Killer, Randy Orton.

*Burn In My Light by Mercy Drive*

Lillian: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a semi-final match in the Lightning Wrestling Federation Championship tournament! Introducing first, from St Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 236 pounds, Randy Orton!

JBL: This is it JR, 10 Men are left on the card tonight, and all of them fight to be the top man! And this guy is motivated more than any of them! Randy Orton, the Legend Killer, a man who was never given a title opportunity in WWE, never a long, meaningful title run, and now he is given this? He has to go through 2 of 3 monsters, first Kane and then, if he survives this, either Batista or The Undertaker! This is downright unfair! Completely screwed up!
JR: John, I think you should calm down…

*Slow Chemical by Finger Eleven*

Lillian: And his opponent, weighing in at 328 pounds, standing 7 feet tall, Kane!

JBL: This man is going to destroy Orton! Actually, I take that back, this monster is going to destroy Orton, he is not a man!

Kane enters the ring, as Orton scuttles out. Kane turns and goes to do the arms-raise-drop-fire-explode-turnbuckle thing, when Orton slides in and attacks from behind! Kane grabs Orton by the throat with both hands, and physically throws him over the ropes and Orton crashes down hard! Kane exits the ring, and grabs Orton, slamming him head first off the ringside barrier! Kane tries to pull Orton up, but Orton nails the low blow! Randy grabs a walking stick from a fan in the front row, and snaps it in half over Kane’s back!

JBL: The bell hasn’t rung yet, everything’s legal!
J.R: My God, that stick snapped in half!

Orton grabs a chair from ringside, and attempts to swing. The ref grabs the chair. Orton spins and yells at the ref, but the ref refuses to give up the chair. Orton turns right into a big boot! Kane continues to assault Orton, ramming him into the wall, the ring apron, and whipping him into the post! Kane rips the chair out of the ref’s hands. The ref tries to take it back, but Kane whacks him around the head with it! The ref crumples, and Kane laughs! The demented machine turns to face Orton, only to find him not there. Orton’s jumped into the ring, and he scuttles the canvas, heads out of the other side of the ring and runs backstage! Kane drops the chair and begins to walk, still laughing!

Lillian Garcia: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been informed that this match has been ruled a no contest!

JBL: What?
J.R: What does this mean for the tournament? What’s gonna…?

*I’m all grown up now…*

JBL: What the hell? No way!

Stephanie McMahon-Levesque: Surprised to see me? *Crowd cheers*

*Here comes the money*

Shane O’Mac: LWF fans, may I introduce to you the new General Manager of Lightning Wrestling Federation Strike, Stephanie McMahon-Levesque! (Kayfabe break)
Steph: [Shane leaves] Yes, and what timing! As my first official decision as general manager… Kane is suspended from my show! Therefore, due to the no-contest ruling, and Kane’s suspension, Randy Orton is in the final match of the tournament! Furthermore, I have one more… punishment. No-one, and I mean no-one, attacks my divas. Chris Jericho, I signed you to a contract, and I’m not letting that go straight away. However, you still deserve to be punished. So, tomorrow night on Strike, you will be in a 4-on-1 handicap match against the entire Young Blood! Good luck, Jericho!

JBL: Oh man, anyone else have a feeling that Mrs McMahon-Levesque still harbours some hatred for a certain Canadian?
J.R: Well, it’s true that Stephanie never particularly liked Jericho, but come on! A 4-on-1 handicap match?

Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will face Randy Orton for the LWF Championship!

*I Walk Alone by Saliva*

Lillian: Introducing first, from Washington, DC, weighing in at 290 pounds, The Animal, Batista!

JBL: Oh man, what a match we are about to see! A rematch of a Wrestlemania classic, The Animal and The Deadman one more time!
J.R: These two put on an amazing match, a true classic at WM23, and now we see these two battle on the big stage again, the new super bowl of professional wrestling, Combat Shock!

*Graveyard Symphony: Remix by WWE Productions*

Lillian: And his opponent, from Death Valley, weighing in at 305 pounds, The Undertaker!

JBL: This right now is one of the weirdest and creepiest experiences you can ever go through… the Deadman’s entrance is freaky. Downright weird.
J.R: This man is 15 and 0 at pro wrestling super cards, and tonight he looks to go up to 17-0, beating Batista and Orton to become LWF Champion!

The Deadman at this point is only halfway down the ramp… so here’s some more commentary.

J.R: Batista doesn’t even look afraid, the Animal wants this title, he is determined!
JBL: I have never seen the Animal afraid of anything. I can’t believe that he ever will be either, this is destruction waiting to happen.
J.R: Remember what happened last time these two met, the destructive last man standing match, and now we’re gonna see these two go at it again, and yet again it’s for a world title. Sort of.

Undertaker finally reaches the ring, and is (fairly) quickly ready to wrestle. He and Batista collar-and-elbow tie up, and Big Dave soon shoves UT back into the corner. The Undertaker switches him around in the corner, and nails him with the straight right hand. Undertaker whips Big Dave into the opposite corner, following him in for a clothesline. Batista ducks, and UT hits the corner hard. BD then rams the Undertaker into the corner repeatedly, until the Deadman drops to the outside, followed closely by the Animal, hunting his prey. (That phrase sucks, doesn’t it?) Batista hurls the Phenom viciously into the steel ring steps, sending him flying through the air, leaving UT down and out on the floor. Batista then went to the top, and threw himself down at the Deadman! BD shoves ‘Taker into the ring, and goes for the cover, 1-2-Kick out! The Undertaker starts to come back, levelling huge blows at the Animal. A leg drop across the throat gained the Deadman a two count, before the Deadman went Old School. But, as the Undertaker went for the choke slam, Batista powered his way out, forcing the hand of the Deadman away from his throat, but the Undertaker continued to dominate, smashing Batista with clubbing blows, and knocking him back out of the ring, then bounces his head off the steel steps two or three times. Then, he shoves the Animal’s prone form back into the ring, setting him up on the apron, and as the Animal hung over the edge of the ring apron, the Undertaker delivers the classic leg drop to the throat, destroying the Animal! As Batista pulls himself to his feet on the outside, the Undertaker heads into the ring, and takes an amazing flying leap over the top rope, diving straight onto BD! The Deadman continues to punish Batista on the outside with shots with the fists and slamming him into the apron, until the Animal, using his reservoir of strength to send Undertaker flying into the announcers table, knocking the top of it loose.

JBL: Oh man, we could see a repeat of Wrestlemania with this table!
J.R: If we do, I’m getting out of the way!

Batista begins to smile, and attempts to get the crowd warmed up, shoving UT onto the table. He then climbs up, and gives the thumbs down! He grabs the Deadman and sets him up for the Batista Bomb, but UT knocks Big Dave’s leg out. ‘Taker drops off of the table, and rips the top off of the Spanish announce table. He climbs back up onto the table, and sets BD up for the Last Ride! Batista tries to power out, going for the backdrop, but UT stays on the floor, and gives Batista the shot to the back. Big Dave straightens up, and goes for the right hand. UT ducks, grabs the throat, and Chokeslams Batista from the first announce table, through the Spanish!

J.R: Oh My God!

Undertaker drops down, and grabs the Animal from the floor. He drags the Animal’s form into the ring, and covers him up, 1-2-NO! Batista kicks out! ‘Taker can’t believe it! He roars at the referee in anger, threatening him. He turns into a spear! Batista covers, 1-2-Taker kicks out! Batista picks UT up and sets him up for the Batista Bomb, but UT backdrops him! ‘Taker turns around, grabs Batista, picks him up, drops him into position, and nails the Tombstone! Cover, 1-2-3!

Lillian: Here is your winner, The Undertaker!

UT raises his arm in victory, turns on the spot – straight into an RKO! Orton smiles, and the bell rings!

Orton drops into the cover, 1-2-no! Somehow, despite the hellacious battle he’s just gone through, UT kicks out! Orton can’t believe it, and tries for the cover again. 1-2-another kick out! Orton goes for the stomp to the head – but Undertaker sits up! Orton can’t believe what he’s seeing, as ‘Taker stands. Orton runs at Undertaker, ducking a clothesline, and goes to the top rope with amazing agility. He flies in with the crossbody – but UT ducks, and Orton’s feet catch the ref in the head! The ref goes down like a ton of bricks, and UT grabs Orton for the chokeslam! He covers, but the ref’s still out! Taker turns to shake the ref – but suddenly flames explode from the turnbuckles! Out on the stage walks… James Mitchell?

Mitchell: Not who you were expecting? *Evil laugh* Oh no… Kane is indeed a part of my plans… a part of my gathering. However, he can’t be here right now… but he sent me with a message for his dear brother… *the crowd starts to shout at something* when his suspension lifts… Click! Doomsday!

UT is suddenly lifted up into a torture rack, then dropped with the Shock Treatment! Abyss is in the ring! Suddenly, the lights go down… when they come back up, Ricky Banderas is in the ring, facing Abyss! He stares at Abyss – then grabs Undertaker, picks him up, and nails him with the Spinebuster!

Mitchell: The LWF just had it’s first taste of The Gathering!

J.R: What the hell? Abyss? Ricky Banderas? James Mitchell? These guys aren’t under contract, are they? And he’s talking about Kane as well?.. hey, he’s back!

Mitchell: Oh and Undertaker, don’t worry, you won’t be seeing too much of me… this was just a taste of my power! Oh yes, you people are looking at the New LWF Thunder General Manager… *he laughs as he walks out*

JBL: What the hell! No way! I do not believe this!

Undertaker tries to pull himself to his feet, staring up the ramp at Abyss and Banderas. He staggers backwards – and gets hit by the RKO again! Orton shakes the referee, drops onto the cover, 1—2—3!

Lillian: Here is your winner and the new LWF Champion, Randy Orton!

J.R: What the hell just happened?
JBL: James Mitchell, General Manager?
J.R: Undertaker just got screwed out of the championship by Mitchell and his Gathering!
JBL: Strike has a new champion, The Legend Killer just crossed another legend off his list! Undertaker at wrestling supercards is now, ladies and gentlemen, 16-1! He finally lost!

*Plug for the Elimination Chamber structure*

J.R: As we come back, this demonic structure is surrounding the ring, the Elimination Chamber, 6 men step in, one walks out, if we’re lucky!

*Khali’s Theme*

Lillian: The following contest is the Elimination Chamber match, and it is for the LWF World Heavyweight Championship! On his way to the ring, standing 7 feet 3 and weighing 420 pounds, from Punjabi India, The Great Khali!

JBL: No-one is going to stop this man! No-one!
J.R: This colossal man can hardly fit in one of those holding chambers!
JBL: That’s even more of a danger, when at least two men have been worn out for at least 3 minutes, then a fresh Khali comes out. Whoever gets that, whoever gets a fresh Khali coming at them, you’d better pray they’re wearing dark pants!

*Metalingus by Alter Bridge*

Lillian: From Toronto, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds, Edge!

JBL: Another former World Champion who’s coming back from an injury tonight, the Ultimate Opportunist, but what possibly opportunity could he take against the monster that is Khali?
J.R: Well, if there is an opening, you can guarantee this man will be the one who takes it!

*Sting’s TNA Theme*

Lillian: From Venice Beach, California, weighing 255 pounds, Sting!

JBL: The man they call Sting, the wild card here, he has never faced any of the men who he calls his opponents tonight. He’s… hey is that fair?
J.R: They’ve locked Sting into one of the holding cells with his baseball bat still in hand…
JBL: He’s gonna have that weapon when he’s released!

There’s a few seconds of silence… then suddenly…

*The Game by Motorhead*

JBL: Listen to this ovation!

Lillian: Please welcome back to professional wrestling, From Greenwich, Connecticut, weighing in at 260 pounds, The Game, Triple H!

JBL: The Cerebral Assassin returns, one of the greatest of all time, returns, and I have to say, what a way to return! Walking down the ramp, a mean look on his face and a sledgehammer in hand, marching straight to this damning structure!
J.R: The Game is one of the world’s most psychotic men, and this match is right up his street, he’s all but undefeated in Hell In A Cell, he’s wrestled in 3 Elimination Chamber matches before, won 2 of them, and now he’s back!
JBL: And it looks like Sting isn’t the only one who’s getting locked inside his chamber with a weapon!

*Medal: A WWE Production*

Lillian: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 250 pounds, Kurt Angle!

JBL: Professional wrestling’s only Olympic Gold Medallist, and a wrestling machine!
J.R: But the odds are against Angle, he’s gotta survive 20 plus minutes in this chamber, face all 5 of his opponents, including The Game and Khali, if he is to win this match!
JBL: But if anyone can do that, it’s…

*Sexy Boy: A WWE Production*

Lillian: From San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 225 pounds, The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!

J.R: Yes, if any man could accomplish that, it would be HBK!
JBL: Well, I admit this guy is a huge star, but he’s past it! Come on!
J.R: Well, this man won the first ever Elimination Chamber match, so I’m not going to put anything past him just yet.

Shawn gets into the ring, and the chamber doors are closed. The fans begin to chant “Triple H!” continually, as HBK and Angle circle each other, before locking up in the middle of the ring. Angle pushes HBK back into the corner, then gets in some quick body shots, and a European uppercut, knocking Michaels back into the corner. Michaels comes forwards, only to take a quick hip toss down to the mat. Angle drops and locks on an arm bar, but HBK nips up, freeing himself from the hold. HBK drops the elbow on Angle’s chest, then runs off the ropes, nailing a clothesline. Angle rolls to the side of the ring. HBK runs up as Angle stands, but Kurt low bridges and Michaels’ back tastes the steel! Angle quickly goes out through the ropes, and pulls HBK up. He scoops him up for a slam, but HBK slides off and runs Angle face first into the steel! Kurt drops and rolls under the ropes. As HBK is climbing back into the ring, the 10 second clock pops up. As the crowd chants, Michaels takes Angle into the corner and drives him face first into the top turnbuckle. The strobe light spins around the pods as HBK drops Angle with a stiff right hand. Suddenly, a spontaneous scream flies around the crowd – Sting’s out! The Stinger comes straight into the ring, and swings the baseball bat, nailing HBK in the stomach. He gives the floored Angle a shot to the back, but turns straight into a right hand. HBK grabs the bat, and throws it up on to the top of the nearest holding cell, occupied by Edge. Michaels whips Sting off the ropes, but Sting nails the clothesline, and then runs off the ropes a couple more times, knocking down HBK and Angle. Sting quickly goes to the top rope, and hits a flying clothesline on Angle. Sting grabs HBK, and throws him over the top rope! The Stinger heads for the top turnbuckle, attempting to retrieve his baseball bat. However, when he reaches for it, Edge grabs his wrist; Sting pulls against the grip of the Rated-R Superstar, but Edge refuses to let go. Suddenly, Angle goes up to the second rope – and nails a Super Angle Slam!

JBL: Oh my God! I do not believe that, they’re both down!
J.R: Angle’s hurt his own back as much as he has hurt Sting!

In a twist of timing, the 10-Second Timer lights up the screens, as HBK is down on the steel, and Angle and Sting are out inside the ring. The clock gets to zero – the lights spin, then settle on one chamber. The crowd explodes into cheers – The Game is out! Triple H walks out of his chamber with a purpose, dropping the hammer, and heading straight into the ring. Angle tries to pick himself up, but The Game gives him a shot to the gut, setting up for the Pedigree! Out of nowhere, Angle nails a low blow, scuttling backwards – right into a Sweet Chin Music! HBK nails the kick over the ropes, and The Game grabs Angle as he falls, setting him up and nailing the Pedigree. The cover, 1-2-3!

*Kurt Angle Eliminated*

HBK comes into the ring, staring face-to-face with Triple H. Suddenly, The Game smiles, and he and Michaels do the x-shape-high-five thing – are DX back? Suddenly, something hits HBK in the head – Edge had put his hand through the top of his cell, and threw the bat at Michaels! Triple H climbs up the side of the chamber next to Edge’s cell, and tries to break through the top. He reaches his hand in, but Edge gets out of the way. The Game drops to the steel, crosses the ring, and picks up the sledgehammer! He goes back over to the opposite side, and climbs back up, smashing the hammer into the top of Edge’s cell! The chains rattle, and there’s an ominous cracking noise. The 10-Second Timer appears again as The Game smashes the top of the cell again, and the links begin to break. Suddenly, Edge takes advantage of a slip of The Game’s to grab the hammer and pull in through the hole The Game has created! He switches it around, and thrusts it upwards, knocking The Game off the side of the chamber and to the floor, as the lights spin. Edge’s cell is highlighted, and he comes out, attacking the fallen Game immediately.

JBL: Oh God, Khali’s coming out last!

Edge whips Triple H into the side of the chamber, and HHH falls to his knees in pain. Edge heads for the ring, and appears to be setting up for a dive to the outside onto the fallen Game. In an instant, he switches direction, nails the spear, 1-2-3, and;

*Sting Eliminated*

J.R: The Icon Sting eliminated just like that!

Edge spins around, and motions for the Spear to HBK, but The Game comes out of nowhere with the Million Dollar Knee Lift, knocking Edge down to the floor. Triple H throws Edge between the ropes, and follows him out of the ring. He rams Edge into the side of the cell, whipping him off the ring ropes, using the momentum to send him flying into the cell again. Suddenly, the 10-Second Timer comes up for the final time. The Game crosses the ring in a second, and retrieves his sledgehammer. He gets into the ring, and HBK stands with him.

JBL: These two have got the smart idea, team up to eliminate Khali, but will it work?

The 10 seconds are up, and Khali strides out of his chamber. HBK suddenly runs and dives over the ring ropes, but Khali catches him, and drops him to the floor from at least 6 feet onto the steel! Khali climbs into the ring, and stops a sledgehammer shot, knocking the hammer out of the ring with one hand. He shoves the Game backwards, who rolls under the ropes from the force of the shove. Michaels swings, nailing Khali in the back with the baseball bat. Khali, seemingly unaffected by the attack, grabs HBK and scoops him up, nearly dropping him immediately. HBK slips out, landing on his feet, but he takes the Giant Chop, and crumples. Triple H suddenly hits Khali with the bat, this time taking it to the back of his leg, and Khali crumples into the corner. HBK tries valiantly to pick himself up – but The Game grabs him and hits the Pedigree! 1-2-3!

*Shawn Michaels Eliminated*

The crowd can’t believe it, and starts booing The Game immediately, shocked at the betrayal of HBK. Suddenly, Khali grabs HHH and nails the double handed chokeslam! Cover, 1-2-3!

*Triple H Eliminated*

Khali roars as he eliminates The Game, but Edge comes out of nowhere, and hits Khali in the stomach with the business end of the Sledgehammer! Khali doubles up, and Edge takes the hammer to his gut once more. Suddenly, Edge throws the hammer, Khali’s head turns to watch it, and Edge nails the spear! 1-2-3!!!

Lillian: Here is your winner, and new LWF World Champion, Edge!

JBL: Edge wins! Edge is the new World Champion!
J.R: My God, what a match, and what a night! The LWF is born, goodnight everybody!

 

[Melon Farmer]

I really liked your show...but it was so hard to read it!

Try to make make a lot of spaces in between JR and JBL's commentry! And Bold the name of someone who is talking!

not like this: JR

but like this: JR

Also when u r writing a match...please write the headline:

for example:

Match (wtvr the number is): LWF Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker

and when there is a winner just bold it! It makes the reader more comfortable to read it!

Also, you should add cool colors to make it exciting! (Just Pointers)

Now onto the show:

I didn't really get the whole first thing on your show about first showing how Shane tried to beat his father but then later on when Shane sed he is punishing Flair for taking all the stocks and losing...anyways, just plz clear it up for me.

MITH Ladder match:
Very shocked that Jeff won, i think u made a mistake about letting Jeff win, but that is just my opinion!

Young Bloods beating D and D
I knew that the Yougn Bloods would win. Good match!

Interview with Edge and Orton
good promo....u need way more promo's on ur show! Yes i know it was a stacked show but still!

Henry dominates
not shocked...ok match

women's match
I am a lil upset u gave the title to Trish....u should have given it to CHyna! lol, jk, i only say that bc she is my fav diva wrestler lol! I like the team-up with Jericho!

Aj Styles wins
Didn't think London would have won...this match didnt really interest me.

4 man match
DUDE y did u drop the ball on this one! Rhyno? Why would u make Rhyno the winner?

Cryme Tyme wins
Thank you so much for giving Cryme Tyme a push! Loved the little skit between them and JBL!

Orton and Kane
Very pissed off that Kane is suspended and that he lost! I love Kane, but I cant believe u r gonna do this to him!


Taker wins:

Knew Taker would have won! I didnt think you would make Batista vs. Orton....good match with back and forth action! and glad that taker came out on top! Just try to make longer matches!

Taker and Orton

Ok so i see where u r going! Kane is a heel, gotcha! Long live Randy Orton!!


Elimination Chamber Match MOTN FOR ME! Loved how u made Edge the champion! This is where i realized that both men, who argued before in the night are both champions very cool!


Dude, excelent show!

I am guessing afterr this u r now gonna be havign 2 shows!

Strike and Combat!

Kewl, i liked ur show but juist have longer matches and make it for comfortable to read!

8.5/10

keep it up!

 

[Colamania]

I really liked your show...but it was so hard to read it!

Try to make make a lot of spaces in between JR and JBL's commentry! And Bold the name of someone who is talking!

not like this: JR

but like this: JR

Also when u r writing a match...please write the headline:

for example:

Match (wtvr the number is): LWF Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker

and when there is a winner just bold it! It makes the reader more comfortable to read it!

Also, you should add cool colors to make it exciting! (Just Pointers)

Now onto the show:

I didn't really get the whole first thing on your show about first showing how Shane tried to beat his father but then later on when Shane sed he is punishing Flair for taking all the stocks and losing...anyways, just plz clear it up for me.

MITH Ladder match:
Very shocked that Jeff won, i think u made a mistake about letting Jeff win, but that is just my opinion!

Young Bloods beating D and D
I knew that the Yougn Bloods would win. Good match!

Interview with Edge and Orton
good promo....u need way more promo's on ur show! Yes i know it was a stacked show but still!

Henry dominates
not shocked...ok match

women's match
I am a lil upset u gave the title to Trish....u should have given it to CHyna! lol, jk, i only say that bc she is my fav diva wrestler lol! I like the team-up with Jericho!

Aj Styles wins
Didn't think London would have won...this match didnt really interest me.

4 man match
DUDE y did u drop the ball on this one! Rhyno? Why would u make Rhyno the winner?

Cryme Tyme wins
Thank you so much for giving Cryme Tyme a push! Loved the little skit between them and JBL!

Orton and Kane
Very pissed off that Kane is suspended and that he lost! I love Kane, but I cant believe u r gonna do this to him!

Taker and Orton

Ok so i see where u r going! Kane is a heel, gotcha! Long live Randy Orton!!


Elimination Chamber Match MOTN FOR ME! Loved how u made Edge the champion! This is where i realized that both men, who argued before in the night are both champions very cool!


Dude, excelent show!

I am guessing afterr this u r now gonna be havign 2 shows!

Strike and Combat!

Kewl, i liked ur show but juist have longer matches and make it for comfortable to read!

8.5/10

keep it up!

Thanks for the review man

Here's some key questions answered:

First, thanks for all the hints at the start, they're really useful. Really, the reason I didn't have all that is that it took a hell of a time to write, and was just happy to finish it. From now on, i'll pay more attention to detail.

I personally don't think that I "dropped the ball" on Rhyno. He's the kind of guy that would pull out a win in that kind of Hardcore environment. Remember, championships are never permanent. Except if your name's John Cena. Or you're slamming the boss' daughter.

Glad you liked the fact that Cryme Tyme are getting a little push. Trust me, this isn't the last you'll see of them and JBL's little meetings.

One big problem: you missed my favourite match, Batista vs Undertaker. Maybe you just forgot to review that bit, but nevertheless it isn't in ur review.

Overall, thanks for the review, and especially the high rating

Keep your eyes peeled in the LWF (especially when it comes to a certain Jeffrey Nero Hardy, and Mr Mitchell)

Oh and glad you liked the Chyna/Y2J partnership. Tell you the truth, that actually came to me as I was writing the match, and I just thought it was brilliant.

In closing, anyone else who has read this, please review. Everyone who gives me a good review (i don't mean good as in praising me, i mean good as in detailed) will get rep for giving the LWF their time. Thank you all, and goodnight.

 

[strafro]

I enjoyed your show a lot, and thought i would drop a review your way.

MITB Ladder Match: MOTN IMO. Great way to open up the show, lots going, was a little difficult to follow at times, but it did the job. Not a big fan of Jeff Hardy, but am interested to see what kind of push you give him.

DND vs. Dykstra/Punk: I figured that the New Blood would win, but was a good little match.

Orton/Edge Promo: When you had this in there and like no other promos, it made me extremely confident they would both win the belts.

I was disappointed to see Flair get beat down, but I assume you will have some kind of Shane O vs Flair feud. Also put Henry over as a monster.

Women's match: I actually really enjoyed this match, loved the finish. Also, Jericho w/ Chyna thats kinda weird, I would rather see Jericho in the main event, but any Jericho camera time is fine by me.

AJ over London: I enjoyed this match for what it was, but wished it was a little longer.

4-Man Match: I agree, why RHyno? Any of the other three would have been better, but the stipulation made no sense for the people u had in there other than Rhyno.

Cryme Tyme wins: ehh..boring match. no excitement at all on my part. best part of the match was the pre-stuff with JBL.

Orton/Kane: I thought this could have been a good match, but instead you decided to make it a no contest, was glad that you let Orton move on though.

Taker/Batista: This was a pretty good match, but I had troubles with it because I picture whats happening in my head and can never allow myself to see Big Dave do anything worthwile in the ring. Glad that Taker won.

Orton wins!: Glad to see Randy Orton win the belt, wished he would have won clean though. But I guess you starting a big Taker feud with all those guys. Still glad to see Orton win, now hopefully he doesn't lose too soon.

Elim Chamber: YES!! Edge wins!! But that's the only thing I'm yesing, I really was not at all impressed with this match. Gimmick matches like this can be so creative and awesome, but to me this was just a bland match. Eliminations happened too quickly, and Khali never should even have been in the match to begin with. But at least Edge won.

Overall Rating: 7.5/10 Would have been lower but MITB match saved it for me.

 

[Colamania]

LWF Breaking News

From The Desk Of Stephanie McMahon-Levesque

I have a huge announcement for all of our fans. As you know, the rosters of Strike and Thunder are currently fantastic, but the amount of wrestlers on Strike is slightly outweighed by that of the competition. However, that's about to change; I can exclusivley announce that Strike has signed a new superstar! Who... I'm not saying. But suffice it to say he is a huge signing, one you won't want to miss! He will be debuting on Strike, so watch out for him! See you on Strike...

End Transmission

 

[Colamania]

Hey, just to tell ya'll, The LWF is on a short break while co-owner Guppee is apparently MIA (suspecting he's on holiday) but while you're waiting for the highly anticipated debut of Strike!, why not head over to the Book This Lounge and join the all new Fantasy league? Pick just one man, one man who you think is going to explode on the scene of professional wrestling!

Thank you. Self-promotion will now cease.

 

[Colamania]

Oh yes... it's back!

Keep your eyes glued to the LWF!