The Bird Shit Quandary

[Nate DaMac]

Dude, you're in Saginaw. Is murder even illegal there?

 

[Big Nick Dudley]

Dude, you're in Saginaw. Is murder even illegal there?

It's definitely against the law. Mostly overlooked and even encouraged, but still illegal.

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

After sitting here for about 5 minutes I've decided it's either

A) Kill the old lady with anthrax
B) Kill all the birds with anthrax
C) Give up. There are few problems anthrax can't solve, yours is one of them.

Actually, it's pretty twisted but you may be able to claim mental incompetence on her behalf and that she is unable to take care of herself. Probably get her shipping to an old folks home.

My initial reaction to this whole debacle was, though, is there nowhere else you could park? Even if it's a short walk away and causes you a little hassle.

 

[Daniel]

Go to her place. Explain your problem and ask her to stop. If she refuses to, tell her it is illegal to feed the birds. It's something that sounds like it could be illegal and she won't know because she's old.

Dress up as a police officer if you feel that it is necessary.

 

[Thriller Ant]

Cover the sidewalk/parking lot where she feeds them with rat poison so they eat that with/instead of the food she throws.

 

[Super Hans]

I know i have said this in other threads before, but im a firm believer that peeing in her butt will solve all your problems. It always works for me when im in a tricky situation.

 

[The Crock]

Do you have a nice car? Because if all this shit (get it?) is being started over an '89 Camry, I hardly see why you should care.

Otherwise, I suggest that you get together with the ****** (rasicsm FTW!) and some more people in your building and ALL go up to her door.

 

[Buffalo Dave]

Buy a car cover. Would save money from going to the car wash after a few months.

SNS feeding birds is illegal in some cities, becasue it creates rodent problems.

 

[Mustang Sally]

feed them chocolate cake. apparently chocolate can kill birds. Who knew.

Don't hurt the birds. Instead, bake the lady a chocloate cake and use bird shit as icing.


Either that, or stuff the bird shit in her mailbox and ask her if she likes her pension check guano-flavored.

 

[Super Hans]

Dress up as a pigeon and get some free dinners= SUCCESS.