Crock: And here comes our next match. Our newest moderator, JGlass will take on Michael V, resident... moron. Oh, and it's a Hardcore Title match. Why? Because God wills it.
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JGlass struts to the ring in a David Wright jersey and a thong, eagerly awaiting his opponent.
[YOUTUBE]USc8lpklXzE[/YOUTUBE]
Crock: Interesting theme, Michael. I don't blame you, though.
Michael walks out, well rather stumbles out to the ring. He is wearing a plain white t-shirt with "Doc's NUMBA ONE FAN" written on it in red marker.
Crock: Well, I can't wait for this one.
The match gets under way, and JGlass seems less than enthused to be facing Michael.
JGlass: I can't do this... Come on! I mean, he's a reta--
Right at that moment, Michael comes running and rams his face right into JGlass'.... errr.... "area." JGlass hits the ground in pain, and the ****** Michael goes for the cover, but JGlass kicks out at one.
Crock: This one's closer than I thought, I don't doubt that JGlass will pull it out.
Michael celebrates in happiness, but the referee explains to him that the match is not yet over. Michael storms around the ring in a huff, as JGlass watches with pleasure.
Crock: Did... did... did it move? JGlass, you sick freak... (Seinfeld joke)
JGlass finally stops enjoying the sight, and goes over to try to mount some offense on Michael. The second he lays his hand on Michael, Michael becomes and enraged, ******ed, animal and begins to bash away at JGlass. JGlass backs away, but Michael follows with a head full of steam. Just as JGlass nearly gets stuck in the corner, he reaches into the front of his thong and pulls out a single Skittle. Michael instantly stops and stares at the Skittle.
Crock: *cries* Oh God, why didn't you tell me to take that job writing with Russo? WHY?!
Finally, JGlass tosses the Skittle into the middle of the ring, and Michael runs at it on his hands and knees. JGlass takes the moment to mount him and pound away at his head. As blood flies everywhere, Michael is seemingly rendered unconscious. The ref tries to pull off JGlass, telling him that he has won, but JGlass decks him too. JGlass heads to the outside of the ring and grabs a steel chair.
Crock: JGlass: Cleansing the world since 2009, one ****** at a time.
As JGlass approaches Michael's body in the ring, Michael begins to convulse. As JGlass gets closer, Michael twitches even more. JGlass lifts the chair above his head, ready to strike, but right as he does... one of Michael's twitches propels his foot into JGlass' nuts again, and he goes down in a heap.
Crock:...the hell?
At that point, SNS sprints at the ring, full speed and revives the ref. He covers Michael for the pin, winning the match. An infuriated JGlass cannot believe what just happened.
Crock: A NEW HARDCORE CHAMP! SNS!
