Security Guards

[Y 2 Jake]

Actually got stopped by that fucking security guard today. Walked around Wollies for a bit, saw nothing I wanted. Decided to leave. The convo went a bit like this:

Prick jumps in front of me.

S.G ''Could you just stop there for a moment please?''

Put's his hand on my chest.

Jake removes hand from chest.

S.G. ''Could you open your bag for me please?''
Jake ''No''
S.G. ''Open your bag please sir''
Jake ''Why?''
S.G. ''Because I saw you put something inside it''
Jake ''You didn't''
S.G. ''I did. Please open your bag''
Jake ''No''
S.G. '' Why not? If you didn't put anything in it then what's the problem?''
Jake ''Then let's go to your security office and see at what point I put something in my bag''
S.G. ''Cant do that''
Jake ''You can''
S.G. ''I'm afraid I cant''
Jake ''That's your problem then''

Jake exits shop.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'd have cried in that situation.

FACT.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I was inimpressed. Especially by the whole touching Jake thing. He aint my lover.