Sam Goes To The Pictures, Tells You About It

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Uncle Sam

Rear Naked Bloke
In this thread, I go to the pictures and then tell you about it. I'm an old-fashioned type of guy, what can I say? First up, we have Moon.

moon-poster-2.jpg

Sam's snack of choice: A regular Pepsi, a medium salt popcorn - £5.50 w/ a free Kit Kat - Kit Kat stayed in pocket for duration, melted, will be consumed at a later date

Going in, I actually had fairly high expectations from the film. Partly because I was pretentious enough to go into central London and pay £10.50 for a ticket to see it. Some clever chap behind me asked for "a ticket to the moon please"; how we laughed!

Despite the lies I've been perpetuating, it's not actually high expectations that ruin a movie for me. No, it's actually people lying about how good it is. In addition, it doesn't actually ruin it for me - I just feel the need to call them out on their lies and then people accuse me of being negative about the movie. Fortunately, I'd heard very little raving about Moon - it'd seemed to have slipped under the radar after I first heard of it some months ago.

I won't beat around the bush. I enjoyed it. Thoroughly. I mean, it could have been the fact that the last time I'd been to the cinema I'd been tricked into seeing the absolute piece of shit that was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but I somehow doubt it.

Sam Rockwell did well in it. Considering that he [sort of spoilers but not really if you've seen the trailers or read anything about it] has to play the same character but with slight differences, it could have got into some really dodgy, awkward stuff. It didn't. I suppose the script can be thanked for that as well. You could always tell which Sam was which not only in the way they looked but in the slight differences in their behaviour and even voices.

It even had a kind of retro feel to it. I guess that's to be expected when the budget of the film is a mere $5 million. Here's the thing though; it didn't look bad. At all. If I had to compare it to anything, it'd be 2001. Well, I thought it was positively charming. The film did have quite a few nods to 2001 in it, but managed to avoid (figuritively) leg-humping it ike a horny dog, refusing to dismount.

Even the length of the film felt more or less bang on. At just over an hour and a half, the ending felt neither abrupt nor dragged out - one of the rare instances that a film actually gets it right.

Verdict: Unconventional, original, psychological and - perhaps most importantly - a little bit retro, Sam Rockwell steals the show... but you'd expect him to if there were two of him, wouldn't you?

8/10
 
Haven't seen it, but I have seen Aliens In The Attic. Both this and Moon, in theory, should be very similar. Where do Aliens come from? The moon, obviously.

Anyway, I won free tickets. Which means that I actually saw the film a week before it was released. It's an enjoyable romp starring, in a supporting role, that girl from High School Musical and Zack & Cody. Ashley something.

I usually go to the pound shop before I go to the pictures. Everythings a pound and I prefer it more than the 99p shop. I buy snacks because, quite frankly, popcorn is better when it's a pound. I also buy some drinks. Not for myself as I have a weak bladder and I have to go roughly every 30 minutes if I've had anything to drink.

When we got to the cinema there was a free crayon on each seat. It was 10 different colours. We also got a free do not disturb sign for a door, it had Aliens on it. From the film, my guess.

A lady employee from Vue came into the room and announced that under 4 chairs in the whole room was a sticker if you found it you won a prize. There wasn't one under my seat, but there was on the one to my right. I'm not ashamed to say I used my superior arm length to defeat the child, two seats to my right, in getting the sticker. I then sent my own child down to the front to claim my prize. I like free t-shirts and pencil cases like anybody else, but I think they should've taken into account the fact that an adult won the prize and given me a larger shirt. As a result I gave it to Amber, who didn't really want. But we shared the pencil case so it was all good in the hood.

Aliens In The Attic 5/10.
 
There'll be spoilers, but they'll all be in white.

district9poster.jpg

Sam's snack of choice: A bottle of Coke, a Galaxy and a packet of McCoy's crisps. I'm on a budget - I can't afford that fancy cinema food. The newsagents down the road works just as well. No man making snappy quips this time, unfortunately.

But yeah, it was a good film. Probably... ooh, the second best film I've seen this year. When you're going up against the likes of Transformers 2, that's hardly hard though, is it?

So, the film draws comparisons with apartheid. Because, y'know, it's set in South Africa and the aliens are kept separate from humans. See what they did there? It's there, but it's not as poignant as some would have you believe. There's a clever little touch where they draw a comparison to the Holocaust as well with
District 10, which Wikus admits is "more like a concentration camp".

The main criticism I have about the film is that it can jar with the mixture of styles it employs. Half mockumentary and half action film; it can feel a bit out of touch with itself at times. One minute Wikus is
undergoing harrowing torture, the next he's waving a ray gun in the face of Nigerian gang lords - or whatever their proper title is.

Also, for all the effort it puts into setting itself apart from the crowd (which it does with considerable success), the ending seems to tie itself together too neatly. Christopher
escaping to go get his boyz is all well and good, but Mr. Nasty-Army-Man getting his comeuppance? Prawn-Wikus making his wife little metal flowers? Too Hollywood.

Wikus himself is a fantastic character. He really feels three-dimensional, which probably owes to how much of the dialogue was improvised. He's flawed and even despicable at times, but there's a good guy beneath all that prejudice. And Christopher seems more human than most human characters.

The action - despite how out of place it can feel - is also very well done, and the special effects are good full stop, but incredible when you think of the budget they had. Michael Bay has dreams that cost more than, uh, however much this film cost. I stole that one from Empire.

Verdict: Good, but - as often is the case - not as good as people like Xfear would have you believe. It's all well and good that it draws comparisons to big historical events, but that alone does not make it a good film. All the same, it still belongs somewhere in my top 100 films. The lightning gun is up there as one of the coolest movie props, even if it isn't quite ready to compete with Aliens' pulse rifle. Go and see it.

8/10
 
avatar-poster-1.jpg

Sam's snack of choice: Rather cheekily I snuck in a bottle of Coke, which I'd purchased for the bargain price of 95p, and some Malteasers. They seemed like a good choice until I spilled a grand total of three.

This'll be a short one. That poster's better than the shitty one they went with, isn't it? Anyway, I liked it. I genuinely thought it was good. Was it full of cliches and such? Well yeah - what were you fucking expecting? It's a James Cameron film.

For some reason I can't put my finger on (and I'm almost ashamed to say it) I was fucking invested in this film. With those goofy glasses on, I was like a kid again. I thought I fucking was on Pandora. It's sad that I have to say that, because I would have ridiculed other Avatards for it before the movie. Though you could argue it's more like an IMAX special than a film, I was genuinely engrossed in exploring that jungle. I was even pissed off when they started tearing shit down. So, yeah...

Verdict: A flawed gem, but one of the best cinema experiences I've ever had.

8/10

I need to stop giving 8/10 to every movie I see.
 
I find it very hard to believe that the reason I dislike Avatar so much is because I saw it in 2D. Now, I've never been to a jungle per se, but I'm almost certain that the leaves they have there are bigger than the leaves I have on my garden foliage, and I'm damn sure they don't look like expensive but unrealistic CGI, which could be one reason why I didn't feel like I was in Pandora.

I hear Avatar has been nominated for a Best Film Oscar, but if the academy are giving awards to enjoyable but dumb movies, then where is Orphan's nomination?
 
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