RP Feedback Thread

[Deexter Jorgan]

if pushed slow and steady i see great things from you alex, all you need is to edit your rp's better, i loved it all in all it really brought out mystiue mad him different from the rey mysterio we all know and love lol

 

[a0161613]

I think you need to seriously consider formatting everything, & adding color to those who talk. When you just type everything out, & don't really bold who's talking, or add color to speak.. it blurs everything into one big "black" text script.

Will, can i get your permission to go back in and tidy it up a little. Nothing will get changed in the words, it is just going to be made a tad clearer. If i can do this then i will do it tomorrow lunchtime.

Also, i submitted an RP for the Hardcore Freestyle (that never happened), if the situation requires it, could i use that RP at some point in the future?

DJ: Thanks for that, it is much appreciated. The more feedback, the more i am getting into the actual character. I hope to have this come out in some future RPs. While i have some wicked ideas if a heel turn was proposed by creative, i think the future could be as a dark, spooky (slightly comedic) face and that could have some real value.

I am really looking forward to the next few shows. Win or lose at All or Nothing, my next RP could be much better than this one and i hope draw a really good opponent!!

 

[Steamboat Ricky]

DJ, your RP was solid. I would have liked to see you go after Ben, too, as nothing makes a triple threat match better when a triple threat competitor has to worry about the other 2. But at least you did this consciously and didn't forget that Ben was in the match.

Ben, like I said, your RP was solid, also. You continue to impress me with the program we've been doing. Your RPs may just be my favorite in the fed, so, keep it up. One suggestion that I have for you, however, is for you to be more independent and outspoken against opponents. I know that you are a babyface, and with me being an arguably "more over" babyface, I can see your logic in going with the whole, "I really respect Ricky, dadada." If you tried to elevate yourself there you might come off as getting some heat. But I don't want you to end up being one of those guys that is trapped in the mid-card because he tries to be chummy chum with everyone. But until you start getting more over, I like the cautious approach that you take.

Edit: Both of you - I really think that our RPs will make for a good program.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Will, can i get your permission to go back in and tidy it up a little. Nothing will get changed in the words, it is just going to be made a tad clearer. If i can do this then i will do it tomorrow lunchtime.

Yes, Alex, its okay that you reformat it & "tidy" it up a bit. As its been noted before, simply do not change any words, add or delete anything. I assume all you're doing is bolding your name to focus on whom is speaking.. & coloring in words, to focus on what's being said in the conversation.

At any rate, you have my permission.

 

[TheRealDC]

Last edited by Steamboat Ricky : Today at 12:57 PM. Reason: more to say

Also, you could just do stuff like this, to let people know exactly what you were doing, a simple matter with a simple solution

 

[Steamboat Ricky]

Last edited by Steamboat Ricky : Today at 12:57 PM. Reason: more to say

Also, you could just do stuff like this, to let people know exactly what you were doing, a simple matter with a simple solution

Huh?

 

[TheRealDC]

you edited your post not too long ago, and thats what it said...

if someones gonna edit their RP, they could at least put in the reason part, what they were editing,

 

[Melon Farmer]

Alex...your RP was just like Will said. It was good but not amazing or great. I also knew that you were going to have major potential, and if you go around reading other people's RP's you will see how they should look, but everyone has their style.

The general idea and concept works greatly, and you have tremendous potential. When we spoke a really long time ago about you, even before you tried out, I kept telling you do it! I helped you, and it seems like Will replaced me, I'm kidding, I am also glad that I didn't give up hope for you and I hope you can sky rocket. But you know, you aren't going to by expecting us to do it, you got to do it on your own and show us you want this!! Earn it!! Do it!! Deserve it!! I know you can! I give you RP 5/10. It deserves that if this was any other match, but since you are knew it deserves a 7/10 because for a first RP, it's good. Again, not GREAT but good.

Iscariot...sorry I never replied to your RP. Your RP was seriously awesome and funny! It was really funny. The fat ass comments that Johnny Klamor made, and the part where he called Manzo, tubby. Lol!

The one flaw I had was that how you ended it. The one where Manzo got up and yelled. It was un-realistic. He spoke too much good English. Obviously you had to do that, but it was weird IMO. But that is a small part and the rest was funny. I give you a 8 and a half out of 10. Very nice, bro!

 

[a0161613]

Coco, Hashbrown, Augustus.....Leo!!!

Course i remember you man! You helped me loads! I am quite happy for you to have the credit for getting me in! You gave me a big confidence boost and if i do anything here then it will be in large part to the help i got at the beginning from you.

I think i have got past the issues i was having with character development a couple of months ago. I certainly can imagine this character going somewhere and I have plenty of ideas for RPs which is good as i struggled at first.

I am really intrigued as to how Creative will take GM as i am not that sure who he could be plunged into a fued with.

BTW, i have edited my RP with shiny colours and it looks much better than i thought. (Thanks Will)

 

[MR.SCOTT]

i can see you going places kid, ill tell you something i hope i get to write your matches coz all i see from you is gold, good luck and keep improving otherwise ill kill ya

and thats all i gotta say about that....

This message was paid for by the great MR SCOTT.

 

[Steamboat Ricky]

Wow it seems like this thing sure died. Remember that RPs are due by Saturday.

Iscariot - WOW. Great RP man. That's one of the best that I've read since I've been back from the original days. Manzo is really solidifying himself as a pretty unstoppable force. Great use of Chinese-English. I know you are a tweaner, but I really imagined that promo with the aura of you stepping over to being a face. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but that's the way I perceived it.

D.C. - You best watch it, or you'll find YOUR booty laying in a pile of rubble that was once a flaming spanish announce table that got destroyed when I Deck Swabbed you through it.

It seems like you're trying to come off as this edgy Rock/Austin face-ish character, but I just get this heel vibe from the excessive fun-making toward Manzo. And poking at Hasheem's religious convictions might not be the best method of getting over face-wise either, regardless of how successful Austin 3:16 was. Aside from that, I thought your RP was very descriptive and easy to imagine. You covered everyone in the match, which could be daunting with the high number of wrestlers in your match. Good job, there. I also appreciated you using asterisks in the profanity. I still think that excessive swearing is not the most effective way to be edgy (regardless of my religious convictions), just because it is very surface level and lacks a lot of depth. But the asterisks still enabled me to read through it and focus solely on the profane language. You seem to have spent a lot of time on the RP, so keep up the effort.

 

[Reaper]

I would like to cal gimmick infringment on Mr. Sincade. How the hell did you get a hold of my hammer in the 1st place. Then you set the room on fire. The only thing you didnt do was have the fire to the shape of your name/symbol.

 

[sincade20]

Whoa....whoa....whoa gimmick infring...whatever the hell. is it my fault you left your hammer around and I found it . I don't need to burn s symbol in the room I'm not that very artisic (sp) that why I got david making the signs.

 

[TheRealDC]

D.C. - You best watch it, or you'll find YOUR booty laying in a pile of rubble that was once a flaming spanish announce table that got destroyed when I Deck Swabbed you through it.

It seems like you're trying to come off as this edgy Rock/Austin face-ish character, but I just get this heel vibe from the excessive fun-making toward Manzo. And poking at Hasheem's religious convictions might not be the best method of getting over face-wise either, regardless of how successful Austin 3:16 was. Aside from that, I thought your RP was very descriptive and easy to imagine. You covered everyone in the match, which could be daunting with the high number of wrestlers in your match. Good job, there. I also appreciated you using asterisks in the profanity. I still think that excessive swearing is not the most effective way to be edgy (regardless of my religious convictions), just because it is very surface level and lacks a lot of depth. But the asterisks still enabled me to read through it and focus solely on the profane language. You seem to have spent a lot of time on the RP, so keep up the effort.

I don't know why, but everytime someone leaves me feedback (although its appreciated), they're just not getting it.

D.C. is tweener. He could care less if you cheer/boo him. He could care less who he offends. It isn't the intent of the character to take sides except his own. Hence the picking on my own teammates in previous RPs. The excessive trash talking on my opponents is to serve the purpose of "getting them pissed off,". I like feedback and I appreciate input, but don't mistake or otherwise misinterpret the actions or talking of my character as being face or heel. It is a mixture of both because D.C. = Doesn't Care (credit to Shockmaster on that).

P.S.: I write on the fly.

 

[Steamboat Ricky]

I don't know why, but everytime someone leaves me feedback (although its appreciated), they're just not getting it.

D.C. is tweener. He could care less if you cheer/boo him. He could care less who he offends. It isn't the intent of the character to take sides except his own. Hence the picking on my own teammates in previous RPs. The excessive trash talking on my opponents is to serve the purpose of "getting them pissed off,". I like feedback and I appreciate input, but don't mistake or otherwise misinterpret the actions or talking of my character as being face or heel. It is a mixture of both because D.C. = Doesn't Care (credit to Shockmaster on that).

P.S.: I write on the fly.

Well, that's my bad then. I was merely going with what the WZCW Roster said in terms of character alignment. You might ask to be put into the tweener category.

 

[Iscariot]

Iscariot - WOW. Great RP man. That's one of the best that I've read since I've been back from the original days. Manzo is really solidifying himself as a pretty unstoppable force. Great use of Chinese-English. I know you are a tweaner, but I really imagined that promo with the aura of you stepping over to being a face. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but that's the way I perceived it.

That means alot coming from you man as I view you as a premier roleplayer. You have the same mindset as myself I think, where you don't just go with lines of spoken words, it's about building the atmosphere and the mannerisms of whats happening, how it seems the people their are feeling, etc. Your comments mean alot, so thanks. And yeah, that's the feeling I was going for, as Manzo seemingly wasn't at threat or bothered by his opponents, it was just another match to him, whilst the fact of who he is teamed with means more to him and aggrivates him, as that isn't about fighting for the right reasons. I'm glad to see you got that

Iscy

EDIT: I'd also like to remind everyone the deadline is SATURDAY, this is the PPV here and as part of creative I'd like to re-illiterate what I've said before regarding them - You miss a roleplay on Meltdown, you'll lose the match. You miss your roleplay at the PPV, when we've given you a big chance on the card, and I'll make sure you're buried if it's the last thing I do.

Saturday people, don't let anyone down

 

[Melon Farmer]

Exactly Iscariot...you better bury people if they miss their Roleplay on the ppv card.

Everest: Your RP was good. Very entertaining, and I laughed my ASS off when you mentioned my guy. I needed a laugh, and you delivered. Very good!!

Sincade: WOW, great RP. Top notch, excellent!! It was really awesome for you to light the office on fire, oh it was awesome. Your character, I think of him, as one of our main eventers and it's a shame you haven't been given a fair chance at the title. Anyways, it was fun feuding with you, and who knows maybe we'll continue the feud after the ppv, who knows


Well my RP is up guys, and I would love it for you guys to leave me feedback. Thanks

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Gus, I think my entire image of the W.V.C. has been destroyed by seeing the mini-clip of the three of you driving...

THE GENERAL LEE!

I must admit, I was thinking your RP would have a lot more anger, or violent rage in it. I think I get why it didn't, & I don't mean it negatively, but I seriously hope you didn't work two weeks on that RP.

 

[michigan]

Hey thanks again for all the feedback, glad I could give you a laugh and lift some spirits as well.

Great job to everyone else the ppv is coming together nicely it looks.

Keep up the exceptional work

Everest

 

[Gus]

yea Will, i write on the fly just like DC, but i had finals this week, so I just kinda came up with something, Kenny will post his by tonight, hopefully, I thought it was pretty good, or funny at least, but I couldnt think of anything else I could do to your cars, except tha Good ole Dukes of Hazzard...lol

 

[Disasterpiece]

so we got until Saturday night to finish these right? Just making sure because I will have mine up then.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

THE PPV was amazing, loved the mayhem title match enjoyed ever bit of the rivalry between ricky,maxx and legend hope to see it continue on to the next ppv

 

[a0161613]

Hey guys;

this thread seems to get going when RP's are posted so i would like to say that mine is ready and awaiting your opinions. I am very interested as to what you guys think about it.

 

[Bentallica]

My RPs up, what does everybody think of it?

 

[Iscariot]

a0161613 - I liked it alot. Was very characterful and made me want to keep reading to find out where it went. I'm liking the mysticism of the character, it's very Undertaker-ish in that in a world full of real characters that are true to life and laws of phsycis, we have a character who when you fight him you suddenly believe in magic and stuff, like when anyone faces 'Taker. I'm loving the direction and want to see more of it. Bright future kid

TheBigBen - Brilliant as always, but I've come to expect that from the man who speared Ricky down to the floor in awesome fashion. You're becoming quote the RP'er and I like the fact that you've started to evolve beyond the original character into a more hardcore extreme wrestler, to me it's like watching Justin Credible from when he was just about the wrestling to evolving into a really great brawler and hardcore fighter. It's cool to see man, keep on growing

Riot