RP Feedback Thread

[a0161613]

OK very basic feedback from me.

Derf - i dont think you could have done any better against a character like Manzo. They were two very very good RPs and this SHOULD be the key to you stepping up. You actually push him to the limit here.

Awesome sig mate, Magikarp suck but Gyrados is my favourite original, non starter 'mon.

Iscariot - I liked it a lot; looking back is always good and I am not surprised i wasnt the only people to use it. with derf as an opponent it was pretty much the ideal time to do it. But this will actually be a tough call.

Murfish - awesome use of real life - i guess that was a mccain or obama piece? I loved how you changed it and made it relevant to the fued.

Milenko - i like how you attack GM and Norcal....good job at what i assume is short notice, good job mate.

Norcal - i know this is your second RP but as a tag champ i expected more I am afraid. It was at least three times too short. The thing is what was there - mainly all dialogue -was pretty darn good with a lot of potential. All I can suggest is that you read up on some of the rps, there are plenty archived for you to take a pick from.

Apotheosis - asking a match with murfish at the ppv shows a little lack of knowledge of previous events, especially as nothing happened between you two at the previous show to provoke it. But again your dialogue was superb (despite this) and continues to be a real highlight. Maybe lacking a little setting but it doesnt matter too much.

Ryder - pretty short but everything that was there was very good and shows a lot of potential for what you can do in the future. I especially like the last line of dialogue from you!

Kyle - quite short and overconfidence; two flaws that most n00bs will make. The key is how you come back from it.

Vengeance - two very good RPs here. It had both description and dialogue, i think you nailed it mate.

Stokes - The dedication is an awesome face tactic. And you nailed the length too. You show an amazing amount of potential with this one. Great job.

I hope we see a PPV gimmick match with you two.

Everest - great job mate...typically serious funny Everest RP. How you have only held one title I dont know.

Poor juggalo - all talk.

Will and Ricky....something is not quite right here. After the stinks that have been caused in the past where Rios didnt RP and kept the belt, I really hope and believe that there are legit reasons for neither turning up....I hope it is not a work but i dont believe it is. They have both stated that they are busy in real life. I do however hope that this plays no part in delaying the show and the next card.

I have a comment that i think would be better placed here than the discussion thread. I do feel that some members of the fed are not contributing as much they could. We all benefit from feedback and discussions but I feel that a select few are driving the discussion, but some people can do with making themselves known a little more.

 

[Straight_Edge_Mystic]

I know this wasn't my best RP and I admit to not researching for this RP. I read my opponent's RPs and that's about it. I was in a rush as I have had little time to read anything or come up with something good. I can't say I'm sorry because in honesty I'm not because the circumstances of life have been interfering quite a bit lately and have blocked my imagination and motivation for this e-fed. So that's that. I'm asking for the match with Murfish because of what happened at Kingdom Come. Apotheosis feels that he deserves some form of retribution for the underhanded tactics employed by Murfish and so that is what he is seeking. He is angry and feels that losing that match has condemned him and if he were to gain that retribution, he would be redeemed. So that's my reasoning for the Murfish stuff. And like I said, I was in a rush to get this RP done, but I was also wanting to just be normal for once cause I've done some weird stuff in all my RP's. If normal doesn't suit Apotheosis, lemme know. I'll try better next time. As for feedback for others, that'll come tomorrow after I've had a chance to read through them all.

 

[Iscariot]

*gladly shakes Derf's hand*

Honestly, may the best man win this one. I'll go on record now and say I have never been challenged RP wise like Derf did this week. It was well researched, well written, well thought out, it was brilliant. I'm totally gutted I didn't get time to do my 2nd RP, I had most of it done but I had a wedding weekend to go to that I forgot about, which meant I never got it finished. You have no idea how much I wanted to extend that deadline for myself!!

My only thought is Derf did exactly what I thought he'd do in bringing in some family or some such to fight for, and why he has meaning to his fights and Magnus/Manzo doesn't, etc - I predicted such in the RP I did, and you did come out and do exactly what Magnus said you would. That being said however, you did it incredibly fooking well, much better than I would of thought. This contest is the most hotly contested match on the card, and I for one wait with baited breath on which one of us comes out the victor.

Good luck and may the best 600lb Japanese man win!

=I=

 

[Straight_Edge_Mystic]

Time for a little feedback. This would've been up much earlier but with the site problems and such, well you know what happened. This won't be as detailed as I had hoped, but it should suffice.

GM and Norcal vs. Milenko and Murfish - All very well addressed the issues and got to the point, but GM, I feel all the clips took away from your point. I did enjoy the bottle analogy, though. Your wordage was superb as was the delivery, but it got clouded by all the recaps. Norcal, bonified bad ass, short and to the point, but lacking detail and description, and that's okay, but I think that detail could've really gotten your message even more understood. Milenko, bitterness and cockiness, an interesting combo and it works, I loved your logic behind everything. It was strongly delivered with resolve and knowledge of your environment. Murfish, the only thing I can say is that I loved it. The idea and execution were both perfect and the perfect time to do it too. Gotta go with Milenko and Murfish for the win.

I will not feedback myself, but I will for Ryder and Kyle. Kyle you put forth a good effort for your debut, but it was a little green. I dig the cocky, selfish thing, but your guarantees of victory are what weaken it. You could win, I don't know, but I want to know your reasons and motivation. With that, I think it would've been stronger. Mike, I dig your style man. Rough and gritty, but at the same time smooth and confident in your abilities. The setting was great too. I'd hate to meet Mike Ryder in a dark alley. I liked the story and how you related it to Kyle and I and also brought up what you did to Agrex. It was all very well-rounded. I would say me, cause I want the win, but in all fairness, I give Mike the nod.

Vengeance and Stokes, why do both have to be so good and have such awesome characters. Venegeance, I don't know where you get your ideas from but they work so well, very Undertaker-ish, I love it. And Stokes, great use of Steve Irwin. I was a little iffy at first, but you pulled it off well and in a respectful manner. And you're just so blunt with your thoughts, it's great. This is a toss-up, I would say Vengeance, just cause he got two in, but that's not fair to Stokes because his was equally great. Either can take the win and in my view, both deserve it, I'm saying no contest.

Manzo and Derf. Maximillian, the character is great, Iscariot, you write him so well and make it so easy to hate. But I wonder, does he have too much confidence in Manzo. Possibly, but he also has complete control over Manzo and all the money in the world to boot. The snobbiness and disdain for ordinary citizens is staggering and I would expect nothing less from a man whose heart has turned to gold. And Derf, the underdog, the regular guy, playing party host, being family man, while sick and tired of being looked over, really hit it out of the park. No fear, even excitedness for the match, that is something else. Resolve to win, and confronting Magnus over if anyone cares about him and puppetteering of Manzo. Awesome, it's time someone did it. You know what, I think the unstoppable Manzo is going to be stopped by Derf.

I don't know what happened to Alex, but Everest, you had me cracking up, there was great funny stuff in there. You have such a great balance with serious time and funny time. The funny stuff was good and the serious stuff was great. You exhude confidence and pride. And your little catchphrase is good too. Obviously, you get the nod.

Will and Ricky, don't know about them either, but knowing Ricky like I do, I smell a work.

That's it, enjoy and have a nice day.

 

[Derf]

And now, before I leave for my long weekend, I'm gonna do feedback. It's been so long since I've done this! So before I do it, I'd like to say I'm upset more people didn't RP, but at the same time, I suppose it kinda makes my odds of winning higher lol. That being said, lets get this Feedback going!

Carmen Bratchny - First off, your RPs leadng up to your debut were all very awesome. It was like watching a movie, I on't know if those RPs took you three days or three months, but they wer awesome. But what I waned to see is how you would write an RP once you actually had an opponent. This Battle Royal fit your RP style perfect with your freshness, and you hit it out of the park. I see good things fo you in WZCW, and I can't wait to see how you handle a 1-on-1 matchup. Great Debut.

Kyle Christianson - You started your RP off by what seemed like you were admiting you took your opponent for granted, possibly because you were accused of being over-cocky, and then you went on your cocky-spree again. I have no problem with either, but I think it hurts your charecter to have both. If he's really that cocky, he wouldn't have admitted his flaws. But then you also admitted yo might not win, so your back to under confident, and now I don't know what I'm talking about lol. I don't know about what anyone else thinks, but I think that if you can stay overconfident, AND write good RPs, you could be a very interesting charecter here. It's only your 2nd match, you'll get used to it. Good luck.

Eric Derf - Yeah, I'm not doing self-feedback.

Mike Ryder - When your RP started, I didn't like it, because I though you were taking the "Poetry RP" route as opposed to the traditional "Story RP", but I was wrong. It was just an introduction, a little different in my books, but it still works. And then you explained it in your RP, and it all made perfect sence. Your dialog came out as very confident. You explaind the match, did a "shout out" to Kyle (Christianson, I'm assuming), and the rest of your dialog was of you being overconfident. I just told Kyle it could be a good thing if he did it right, and I'll ay the same for you. Having your RP in an area with no other people, overconfidence can be a hurtfull thing, as it's really only "walking the walk". It was a good RP, not your best, kinda short once you get rid of the music part. Next time, in a one on one matchup, I wish you the best of luck. You can write a match winning RP, I just don't think this is one of them.

Shock - The 2nd person to debut in this matchup. Your RP was... Interesting, to say the least. Just a quick shout out, I know we mentioned this on MSN, and debated it a bit, but I did come to realize that using the names of WWE and TNA in your RPs is actually against the rules. But your new, so I won't hold it against you this time. I think a battle royal is a good way for people to debut here, it gives you all the same chance to actually win, as opposed to having singles matchs against different qualified RPers. But as far as your RP itself goes, I can see you have what it takes. Your dialog is interesting, youve got your charecter down, and I'd like to say "Thank you" for the nice words towards me lol.

Daniel Stokes - The other man to get a 2nd chance in the Tournament, and I feel we both deserve it (sorry for the cheap plug) but both of our opponents cut awesome RP's, and we just fell short. So getting this out of the way right now, I feel you are my biggest challenge in this match, may the better man win. Now, onto your RP... You start our RP off admitting defeat, and then being thankful for a 2nd chance. I know your supposed to be a tweener, but you play an excellent face, and I feel you could easily make the transaction. You then did what I dislike in mass rps like this. You talked about each opponent in point form. Paragraph about Opponent 1, paragraph against opponent 2, etc... I'll admi I enjoyed the words said about me, but I don't like that strategy in an RP, as I feel somthing more creative could have been though of. Mix it up a bit, tackle em all at once. But thats just my opinion, no one elses. Then you had an interview, and if you didn't color code it, I'd have ben lost. I don't get what that was about, but it confused the heck out of me. Your RP was pretty average this time, I eally loved your last one though. You need to find that passion, and use it every singl time. I really want to see Daniel Stokes go places here in WZCW.

Drake Callahan - Fucking awesome RP, or so I should say, Awesom RPer. It was the 3rd of three debuts here, and I think I'm a little confused. If your charecter is going to be a drunk, then you hit it out of the park. But if it's a one time deal, I don't think it was the best idea to use it in your debut. But it was really a great RP. You play a perfect drunk, not even knowing what a Battle Royal was. Like shock and Carmen, I really think and hopeyou go places in WZCW, your obviously a gifted RPer, and have alot to offer.

-----------------------

So, i'm not going to predict a winner. But there were 15 people eligable for this match, and only 7 RPed. Some already said they wouldn't, others shouldn't have, but I'll admit to being upset with the lack of RPs. Oh well.

I would really like to see one of us 7 win, as I feel if anyone else did, it would be extremely unfair. And when the person that does win goes on to face either Manzo, Everest, or Vengeance, I hope whatever RP they write for that match is taken seriously, and that whoever wins this actually has a serious chance to eventually become champion.

And just out of curiosity, since only 7 people RPed, are there only going to be 7 people, or is everyone in the match, with only 7 possible winners? Either way, I can't wait for the show, see how things are done.

 

[Shock]

First RP, time for first feedback.

Carmen Bratchny - I got one word man. Damn. That was a great debut RP man. Amazing showing of the characters, great language, good action. Excellent. Honestly, there's nothing else to say. It was just great.

Kyle Christianson - It was okay. I couldn't have described it better than Derf. It was like you had accepted a loss and were gonna be better, with maybe a tweener or face turn. But then, as Derf said, you went right on with the cockiness. I pointed that out in mine, so thanks for that. All in all, it was just okay because it didn't flow well, in my opinion.

Eric Derf - It was... long. I liked it, but for me, it was a bit too much for one promo, or a promo for that matter. In my opinion, when you start out in the office, you don't get an interviewer to get you, he yells at you himself or you start in there. Also, the interviewers who gave you inspiration was a good idea, but I personally didn't like it. But there's really not much else you could've done with that, so it turned out well. The thing I really did like was that you painted a scene. I could really picture it in my head, that's what I aim to do with every RP I read. So I applaud you for that. All I can say is good luck, even though, in my opinion, you don't need it.

Mike Ryder - To tell you the truth, I found it boring. Great dialogue, really describing feelings, emotions, past experience, and about the song. But it could have used... something. I'm sorry this may not be the best feedback because I can't really describe it, but I just found it boring. The other problem I found was that it seemed more heel to me than tweener. But I digress. It was good, man, but there's definitely better.

Shock - Just as Derf said, not giving myself feedback. I'd end up being cocky and giving myself praise anyway.

Daniel Stokes - I liked it. However, going after each person individually might not have been the best plan... if I hadn't seen yours. You really pulled it off, going after each person. Nice job. Then again, I have three problems with it. One, it was kinda short. Two, you didn't really talk about yourself man. Just about everyone else. Three, you said the word mate. A lot. I know he's Australian, but you don't have to say mate that much. Summing it up, it was good. One more side note, you got me man. You used my own catchphrase against me. Good job with that one.

Drake Callahan - Good job. As Derf said, you did a great job portraying the ideal drunk. A battle is one thing, Leon, but a royal battle is something else altogether. I loved that line. What I liked even more is that I noticed that you made it realistic. During the interview, he seemed to be getting more and more sober, which was a fantastic touch. Also greatly, you connected many things to parties and beer and everything else. Good job with that. Man, all I can say is great debut RP, great RP over all. Honestly, in my opinion, it was better than my own. Great job.


No clue who's gonna win, however I said who I liked and who I didn't, so we'll see. I was glad that the people who did RP RP'd. Thanks for some good reading guys. As for myself, my feedback isn't as long as others, but I'm not the best at describing things, so there. Good luck to all, and watch where the lightning strikes.

 

[Lee]

Lets do some feedback from a neutral ey?

Carmen Bratchny - I really liked this, I liked the clear painting of the scene, I like the use of the manager. I can see you doing well.

Kyle Christianson - I like the cocky character it works well, what I would have done is have the bit about Carmen in before you did your spel on being champion. But good effort.

Eric Derf -To me this seemed like 3 rp's in one post, and this seemed to take away from a rather good RP. I'm not going to go into it anymore, I thought it was good but just too long, you should have just had it as 1 RP

Mike Ryder - I liked this, it's good to see into your character, who you are and why. Great stuff.

Shock - A good RP, but two things; 1) you can't mention WWE/TNA 2) Breaking kayfabe = bad (you used the term heel). I can see you improving lots, and your commitment to the fed seems to be really good.

Daniel Stokes - I liked this, and I didn't at the same time.

Drake Callahan - I absolutely loved this promo, it flowed, it set a scene, you weren't here there and everywhere. A great effort

I liked all the RP's in their own way, but to me the best was Harthan with an amazing RP.

 

[Harthan]

Thanks for all the positive feedback on my RP, guys. I am planning to play Drake off as kind of a drunk, so this is probably a style that's going to continue. Glad everyone liked it.

 

[Bozzaholic]

Hi Guys,
Thanks for all the feedback. Carmen came about a couple of years ago when I used to RP in a fed that was based in a prison (it was difficult) - I like using a manager as it gives the wrestler someone to interact with in RP's rather then speaking in to a camera directly. This battle royal has delayed the next installment of the Carmen Bratchny Storyline but at the same time its slotted in brilliantly as Carmen isn't an "offical" WZCW member yet - obviously i'm not a member of creative so I have no say weather or not they want to use that. if they do I can run with anything thrown my way and if they don't I can continue with writing what I have planned.

I'm actually pretty scared as the level of RP's around this place is awesome. I have been in feds before where they have been full of Raven wannabe's and I feel i'm lucky enough to be in something different for once. Those people I have rep'd for their RP's - I really mean what I have written, good stuff. I'm just looking forward to the match and everything that will come from it

Bozz

 

[Lee]

Bozz you'll find that creative will want you to take control with your character and see how it goes. Give them a PM or something to let them know what you want, in that way it keeps both teams happy.

 

[Bozzaholic]

I know Creative will want me to take control of the wrestler but I've kind of half-forced a storyline on them with the wrestler not being signed. I was saying its up to creative weather or not they use it as I can RP either way. I try not to get involved too much behind the scenes as i've seen e-feds in the past get a little political (I'm not saying this one is or will... just that i've seen it in others). so i'll rp with whatever situation is thrown my way. If my guy spends the next 3 months losing every match i'll still turn up and RP - I'll just base my RP's on my guy working off his weakness'. I'm hoping that creative will throw some challanges my way but i'm also saying that creative can be as open with my wrestler as they like (Again in other fed's I've seen writers get uptight when their guy is used in a situation that makes their wrestler look stupid). I dont mind that as long as the fed stays open and everyone keeps trucking along with the current standard of RP's

 

[Father:_Polley]

Have to say, the level of the RPs for the sprint have been good.

Harthan - I like the humour of the character and the irritation it caused. You seem to have your character down and it wasn't just a straight 'I'm gonna win because I want to hurt people' or anything along those lines.

Derf - I have to say you used the loss well and I'm glad you picked up on that little bit I threw in to give you something to work with. You never know, you may even win a match soon

Boz - I like the back story and I think you incorporated the unexpected well into the story. Interesting methods and I look forward to seeing more from you.

The others... I've still to read properly. I'll feedback ASAP

 

[Iscariot]

I'm somewhat dissapointed at the turnout to this one, as I expected more people to take this chance, but that being said everyone here did churn out a great RP that I'll review properly when I get a chance. Well done to everyone involved.

=I=

 

[Iscariot]

Ok, feedback time for the Redemption PPV, which to be fair seems to be shaping out bigger than K.C, which is somewhat weird being a comedown PPV that it is lol. Anyway, as I’m no longer staff I can throw out personal views without regards and not affect who people think will win. Excellent.


Eric Derf vs. Milenko

Milenko, yours was short and to the point, once again conveying some powerful imagery and direct to-the-point statements. However, you feel into the standardised trap of doing exactly what your opponent said you’d do – You went on about your rough childhood and how you took out your brother. Derf pretty much said that already, so he essentially beats down your RP before you even finish commenting, because as I read it, I’m thinking “Derf said that … And that” which is making me think of HIS role-play, not yours. It’d be like making a cola that says “mmm tastes like Pepsi.” I mean yeah, your cola tastes like Pepsi, but you’re making me think of Pepsi.

Derf, yours was really good. Really REALLY good. You are getting better by the week to the point where I think you are finally going over here. You had a nice twist at the start, where people thought obviously that your spirit was broken and all that jazz, but you very nicely became the Derf we all now and, to be fair, are starting to love. You didn’t make any huge mistakes, the writing was good and the imagery along with it was to the point. I like more subtley and effects in mine personally but for those that like things to the point it was easily one of your best to date.

Winner and new Mayhem Champion – Eric Derf.

Everest vs. Vengeance

Vengeance, yours was as always outstanding. I think you outdid yourself going into this, and picked up on most things you needed to. You got across your points and your motives beautifully and even picked out differences between the facts both our characters are followers to their master. I can’t say much more as I thought it was great for what was needed and was totally on the money. An easy cake walk to the final if not for …

Everest. Brilliant as always. The crowd descriptions, the use of language, the excitement in the air, everything. I think your character is one of the best played characters in the fed and you do him justice each and every time. I think however Vengeance is shockingly your toughest challenge RP-wise to date (and that you SHOULD have been WHC a long time ago), so it be interesting to see who advances.

Winner: I can’’t call it, honestly. And now I’m just an RP’er, I don’t have to

Joseph Rios vs. Big Will

Will, you’re the only guy who’s role-played so ATM you’re winning this hands down lol! That being said, this is a great Rp anyway and is an interesting turn of events. I’d have been tempted I must admit, to have shown some more realisation of events and possibly even taken the opportunity for a face turn. The RP was brilliant and for anyone else would have been perfect. In fact, it’s perfect for you, an awesome RP just possibly a missed opportunity. A* work in any case Will, and I’m sure you’ll win this.

Winner: Big Will

Shock & Drake Callahan vs. Mike Ryder & Kyle Christianson

Well Shock, I think you’ve got this sewn up at the moment! Irrelevant of that, this was a shockingly good piece of work (get it? SHOCKingly? …Oh never mind). In that the whole atmosphere was very Tony Stark-like in nature, and that’s how I picture your character in my head. I am quite intrigued at the fact someone else has a filthy rich character (although from the descriptions you gave I don’t think he’s quite at Billionaire status such as Magnus), which opens up a lot of opportunities. I think your passion came across in your work, as well as your meticulous attention to detail. I see a lot of promise in you and enjoyed reading your RP a lot. There’s a future in your, I guarantee it.

Winners: Shock & Drake

Mighty NorCal vs. Anthony Michaels

Again, only one RP so I see a great victory for Micheals. I must say though, sheer genius in the backsetting and graves, that’s chillingly good. Use of language was spot on once again, the portrayel of your opponent was smooth and yet negatively beating him down. In short, a perfectly formed RP that deserves a victory either which way.

Winner: Anthony Michaels

Ben Legend vs. Murfish vs. GM

A draw. You all fail at life. RP or something.

Stokes vs. Bratchney vs. Manzo

I pwn you all. R0XX0R!!!

…. But seriously, Bratchney came out with a good RP in one sense, and falls down personally in another. Bratchney may be a Russian fighting machine, and fears no man (I love the chatacter btw), but Swindle isn’t stupid. Confidence is one thing, but totally ignorant of the fact that the 600lb Juggernaut Manzo is in this match is a bit bizarre. I compare the situation to Brock-Big Show when Heyman brought Brock in. He was confident of the Next Big Thing, and new that Brock could destroy near enough anything in his way, but even the super-confident Heyman was utterly convinced the Big Show had the power advantage, the size advantage, and the fact that Brock couldn’t F5 the show was a massive thing, much like I can’t see either of your lifting finishers being used on Manzo. It’s a very similar situation I feel that you could of easily capitalised on and produced a significantly stronger RP by emphasising the fact that two of Carmens strengths (power, speed, the weapons being mostly irrelevant in this match) are also possessed by Manzo, who is agueable stronger. Also, Manzo’s weaknesses are shared by Bratchney, so it’ll be hard to capitalize on them. Don’t get me wrong, I understand you could just destroy Stokes and go through that way, but personally looking at it Swindle would be smart enough to identify the main threat and not dismiss him out of hand to ‘be a heel’. A great RP none the less, I just think it’s another missed opportunity to invest more in the characters. You could of easily built Swindle as smart and cautious whilst building Bratchney as inexperienced in not recognising the threat, but also fearless for not seeing him as a threat by purely looking at him.

Winner: I’ll leave that one to creative.

=I=

 

[a0161613]

I'm doing scores out of 5 for rating my Rp's at the moment, instead of deciding winners because everytime I think a win is deserved is goes the other way here! I will try and feedback the later ones.

Derf: Wow man, awesome stuff. Your development is astounding. The beginning was great and the transition into a promo was good. Kinda had me aching me for more. There were some spelling mistakes (that personally are a bugbear of mine) but they don't detract from a good RP

4.2/5

Cory: I like the idea, but for me it was kinda short and simple. I really thought you go in depth especially as IMO Milenko should be made for this division. (Also you mentioned EW (Barbed Wire Hell in a Cell not steel cage, lol) which if anyone knows about them and the problems that have been caused, may not be appreciated....you won't lose just because of that but still....)

Some spelling and grammar issues (why do Maim, Cripple and Hardcore need to be capitalised?) which don't help. If this had been Meltdown I would have backed you to pull a vastly superior second RP, because I know you are good enough.

(I know this week has been a tough week for ya)

3.2/5

PWC: Damn, Vengeance brought it....Gents, meet my dark horse pick for the whole darn thing. This was an awesome RP. The attacks were direct, clear and the match built up perfectly. i love where this character is going. Great use of the WZCW staff in the beginning too, especially the new guy.

4.5/5

Michigan: I liked it but I didn't love it. For a title that you have deserved pretty much been in the frame for as long as I have been here, I expected something....more. I actually thought you could have continued it, with Everest going backstage, using the Becky Serra set up by PWC to continue it. But all the minor details were paid good attention to with great formatting etc. I don't know if the verbals were lacking but I think this one could be real close.

4.1/5

Will: Will's wife, WtF? Great use of storytelling to build up the history and sginificance. Although some digs were a little unnecessary and random. Actual talk of the match was lacking and I think it should and would have gone longer if Enforcer was around to give you a challenge instead of what will be a glorified squash.

4.0/5

Shock: Good stuff, interesting character, very good start for you IMO. There wasn't much of anything done badly. A very solid RP.

3.95/5

Iscariot: I like this but don't want to at the same time. I am not a fan of how Manzo seems to be secondary to Maximillian's dreams but conversely, I love your style, the choice of words and the build of the man himself. You do enough for me to really, really like it!!

4.6/5
And dude, don't bury us for not RPing four days before deadline....

Bozz: I liked the build and then it got going and ended.......had me crying out for more. Carmen showed himself to be more than mute beast like Manzo, that should have been explored.

Although I don't reckon Ricky will be impressed with your handling of WZCW's version Bobby Heenan. The ending really disappointed. You had an opening and missed it IMO. It was good while it lasted.

4.2/5

Monkey: It was.....interesting. I think you were meandering a little too much on the way to your point but at least. But you got to the match eventually, I just feel that you have enough history with Norcal already and barely touched on it, let alone mention the fact that you turned on your tag team partner/co title holder. The reason for that could have made for a good read here.

3.7/5

 

[michigan]

Iscariot, a0161613 thank you so much. I really appreciate the words and the challenge was very tough. Vengenance is a great character and I hope I did enough to advance. As for continuing the RP you know I really did think about that a long time, I just thought I would begin boring people if it went on. I really should have added more about Vengeance but with the Mayhem title situation I really did kinda dwell on that part early.

Again thanks to everyone for the feedback.

Everest

 

[Derf]

Aight, Feedback time! And I would like to say that, as of the RPs being completed, this is my favorite show to date. We have a few holes, three RPs missing, but thats Ok, the rest of them by far make up for it. Lets begin.

Mayhem Championship
I won't do "feedback" for my RP, as aways, but I'd like to explain it right now. A few shows ago, when I fought Manzo, my RP had me get emotional, serious, not just a guy trying to have a good time. And I got praise for that RP. Not a single bad word about it, even Iscy himself said he couldn't predict a winner. So when I had my next match at the Sprint, I though "Mabe I should stick with the upset gimmick", so I did, and it didn't work. So thats when I decided that, although I can be serious, we have to much of that going on in the e-fed, and my comedy and laid back charecter is much more me. So I wrote this RP to "kill off" the depressed side of me, hopfully, and the old Eric Derf is back, hopfully with enough skill to actually start winning matchs.

Onto my opponent, Milenko. Your RP was really good, the perfect length. It had the even mix of Talk and Description, which is a plus. The only downside, is the predictability. I know Iscy said you doing what I said you'd do is a bad thing, but I look at it slightly different. What I predicted you'd say is what you've made yor charecter into. But with Alex Bowen gone now, you need to branch out from that rivalry and start with somthing fresh, somthing exiting. Bringing up the past every single time isn't going to keep winning you matchs.

Since it's my match, I'm not predicting a winner.

Tag Team Championship
No matter who wins this match, I hope to god this rivalry don't end here after these two RPs. Monkey, awesome personal attack, somthing like that, I'd have to assume you and NorCal planned it ahead of time, but even if you didn't, you made a hell of a heal out of Micheals. I did find one huge flaw in your RP. As much as your charecters hate each other, you never even mentioned the three most important words in this match. "Tag Team Championship". That right there might not cost you the match, but I would like to see an acual team win the titles, one that will defend them and stuff. But we all knew that.

NorCal, your RPs are always very short, and they need a bit of work, TBH. That being said, this is by FAR your best RP to date. Your charecter reminds me alot of the Apothesis and Vengeance charecters mixed into one, in a face. Which is cool. And you admit that the gold means nothing in this match, which is a good sign of a positive rivalry, but a positive sign that we NEED new Tag Team Champions. One more thing NorCal, and this isn't against you, do hopefully alot of people are reading this. One of my FEW peeves in RPs are when people wait till the last minute, or even till after their opponents RPed, and use that info gained in the RP against said opponent. I don't think thats all to fair, TBH, and NorCal isn't the only person guilty of this.

This will be a hell of a fight, both men won't go down easily, but I predict Anthony Micheals will get the W in this match, barely.

Elite X Championship
What looked like it was going to be the most unpredictable match on the card, as well as my favorite, is now flawed by my predicted winner not RPing for it, and I can't help but wonder why Murfish no showed. I'm hoping he didn't take being demodded to hard, but seen as he's been online, I can't think of any other good reason he'd not RP for a title match. Which sucks, cause win or lose, Murfish always writes great RPs.

GM, it has taken me a while to actually get into your charecters mindset. On week he seems like a creepy dude with a ball, the next he's all pissed off, on the verge of a heal turn. I think this week, with the anger in his voice when being interviewed, I'm finally starting to get it. Kinda. The RP itself was pretty good, nice length to it, neat addition of extra colors for decription. I just think, for at least your next RP, you need to ditch the crystal ball idea, it's startng to get overdone. Just my opinion though.

Ben Legend, I was scared you'd not RP. And although you did, I'm upset you waited till the last minute. But either way, it's here. And it was a good RP. The history lesson was good, almost with a bittersweet taste as since Rios is gone, it ment almost nothing. But a good lesson for those that were wondering, or some, like me, who never even though about it. And once again, Awesome RP, and great idea behind it. I had one simaler to go with me being in Canada, but I guess I'll need to save it for now.

I can't choose between GM and Legend for who I want to win this match. Murfish dropped the ball, and I an devistated by that. But based on stats outside of the match itself, I'd like to see Ben Legend win. Nothing against GM, he's always been there for me, but I'd just lik to see someone hold the title, and actually defend it. And hopefully it becpomes a weekly or bi-weekly thing, defending this title. Not having Legend on two shows in a row really hurt. So in the event that you do win, and go 2-3 shows with nothing, I'll have to side the other way.

#1 Contender Tag Match
I'm curious, what does everyone have against Kyle Christianson? It seems that he gets extra attention when it comes to being attacked in RPs, which seems odd. I know he's a heal, and a cocky one, but STILL! Anyways, onto the RPs...

Shock, I liked it alot. I liked how you revealed how you gained a respect for your Tag partner, one that wasn't there before. And you lit the pics of those guys on fire... Why does everyone light pictures on fire! I kow what it's ment to symbolize, but everyones doing it these days! Lol. And then you added your partner. I really hope you at least let him write his own part in this, because it was perfect. I see you guys becoming the Miz and Morrison of WZCW, two guys that got stuck tagging, and ended up becoming a great team out of it.

Drake, I love reading your drunken RPs. Your descriptions are awesome, and if you can do ths good in a drunken RP, imagine what could happen if you ever did a sober RP? Lol. I can't find any flaws in this one, but I will say this. Drunken comedy is good for a rivalry, tag gold, maybe even the Mayhem title someplace down the road. Your RPs are in a ME tyle level, IMO, but I can't see a drunk getting into the main event. So play your cards wisely. The Drunk gimmick is awesome, but will only get you so far.

Mike Ryder... You dropped the ball. Your RP started off pretty good, excluding the non-color coded-ness, but I stopped liking it when you attacked the guards. Yes, it maks you mre of a heal, but it don't really make you seem that much better by beating a pretend person made just for an RP. Just my thoughs. And then you completely burried your Tag Partner. Unless he read what yu were going to ake him say and do, it's unacceptable, and insultig to his charecter. I would NEVER let someone get away with treating my charecter so bad in an RP, it's just bad. I don't know if thats his reason for not RPing, or if it's something else, but that right thre cost you the match. Your a good RPer, but if your ever in a tag match again, don't completely burry your partner. Shock and Callahan for the in.

Joseph Rios VS Big Will
This is why I can't wait fo Will to get back, and why I though he never should have lost the title to begin with. Rios is done with WZCW, has been for a while, he hasn't even done an RP since he lost the title. Will probably knows this, and he don't even have theinternet anymore. Yet, he still went out and wrote one hell of an RP in what is considered a squash match. The dream, the history, the "puns", for lack of better word... Will could have written the worst RP ever, he knew he'd win, so he gets extra points in my book for this. Big Will for the easy win, and hopefully he's back soon.

Alo, no offence to Rios whatsoever, but I'll be glad to start seeing some main events without him in them.

Tournament Match 1
Vengeance. Great RP. You even took note of Klamor being attacked before in someone elses RP, thats just cool. And all this talk of the master, ly want to see wats going on. I know there have been "clues" dropped to reveal it, but I want to know if those clues are just bait to make us think differently, or if yor secretly let the cat out of the bag. Cause I'm up for a good surprise nowe and then. Really good RP.

Everest, also a great RP, as always. I love how you always seem to find the perfect location for your RPs. I need to borrow your book on how to do stuff lol. You dropped the Mayhem Title with bigger things on your mind, most people would have been uber pissed, but you dropped it knowing you could do better. And you did every thing right here. Got your pop from the crowd, talked about the PPV, and even got in some words about yore opponent, obviously.

I'm not picking a winner in these two matchs, I'd rather wait and see what goes down.

Tournament Match 2
Manzo... That RP scared the crap out of me. It seems Mangus has my number, but if he ever wants another match, I won't go down without a good fight. But either way, this is one of the best RPs I've ever seen Iscy pull out here. The intensity, the anger, and the money to mke it all better. Mangus, you weasel you... lol

Carmen, your RP disapointed me. I dig the whole "Charecter development" thing, but this wasn't the place, yet this seems like the kind of RP that would only be Charecter development. This match is for the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! Forget explaining your charecter, how often does someone get a shot at the title in their 2nd match? You should have pushed yourself and done one hell of an Rp, but you kept with the trend o telling a story, nd although this is the only time it could hurt you, well... It hurt your odds of winning.

Stokes. Awesome RP, and I hope you at least stay in the ME picture if you don't win this match, you've improved alot. This is by far your best RP to date, which you know is a good thing if you hear it every week. Your only flaw was that you sort of had to break it into three seperate RPs to get your points across. I did that recently, but my three Rps were all in he same area, just me in different parts of the building, for a story. These literally seme like three different Rps, but good RPs at that.

Once again, I'm not picking a winner hre, but I can't see Carmem going through. I'm not partial as to who gos over into the finals, and even who wins, we have 4 great RPers here, the ONLY match I don't want to see is Manzo vs Vengeance. I dislike heal vs Heal main events.

Well, thats my feedback, took me a while to do, so I hope you all enjoy it.

 

[a0161613]

Thanks Derf,

I will read what I have not already fed back on at some point but wanted to address your point.

The crystal ball thing has been something I'm torn on. I like it but only when it's right in context. I have had feedback from Will in the past and he suggested that I go back to the mystical sort of thing I was doing at the beginning. I'd certainly like to get opinion on it at the very least.

The bad thing about being a face is I can't go around using it as a weapon. That's fun.

I have read Ben's and was surprised. I thought it could have been longer as the focussed verbal attacks on Murfish and GM seemed to be a last thought when it should be the central theme. When they did show up it was pretty good and turned what was a decent character development promo into an OK shoot style promo.

I for one agree with Derf about BL's reign but feel that if RP's deserve to enforce a title change then storylines should change around it. That's what the roles of creative exist for, to come up with storylines in the event of extenuating circumstances!

I don't know if this is the right thread to ask in but any idea on when we will be getting match info?

And also Derf, I think i know what Rios was on about in the discussion thread! I don't believe that you included him on your list!

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Tag Team Championship
One of my FEW peeves in RPs are when people wait till the last minute, or even till after their opponents RPed, and use that info gained in the RP against said opponent. I don't think thats all to fair, TBH, and NorCal isn't the only person guilty of this.

we planned it that way silly head. its not a tactic, its called a storyline. Have you ever watched wrestling?? One person does some crazy shit (usually the heel) and the face responds.

thanks for the feedback. Its tough to do anything more than a short RP, becuase well....my character happens to be a man of few words LOL. I try to get the points across in a captivating manner though.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

Stop the presses. Yes, Monkey has come here to do feedback. It wont go into too much detail because I do that behind the scenes to decide the winners ya know. So I would like you guys to be surprised. So here you guys go.

Derf: Like your RP. I understand the basis behind shedding the serious side of you and killing it off, but I still didnt like the whole Suicide thing. It just left a weird taste in my mouth. Overall though a damn good RP very funny, and yet still somewhat serious. Loved it.

Milenko: Good RP. Short, sweet, to the point. Gruesome as all fuck. I'm actually a closet Milenko mark. Expect me to call on you very shortly. For what I don't know. Just expect it. Good RP with it getting straight to the point.

Shock: Good RP. Loved the backstory behind it. Also loved the whole Aiden part. Nice to see your character has some money but doesn't let it get in the way of competition. I expect you'll get better and better. True Story. Also liked that you added Drake in there as well. Funny, serious, to the point. Good Job.

Drake Callahan: Love this character. Absolutely love it. Your RP's are phenomenal. Which makes me think you've done this before. Funny as all hell. Another guy I expect huge things from and this RP proves it.

Mike Ryder: You started off good, then petered out. You've got some promise you just need to learn how to convey what you are saying a little bit better. If you would have stuck to your original points it wold have been great. But it turned out mediocre. You'll do better next time I'm sure.

Big Will: Loved it so much I read it 5 times. Loved the background. It seems like it would be something off of a movie and I loved that. Really nothing more to say about this phenomenal RP. You've always been a favorite.

Everest: Once again you have proved this is your world. You just let us live in it. Fantastic doesn't describe it. Love reading your RP's and for once I actually cheer for the face, it takes alot for me to do that so congratulations to you.

Vengeance: Fan-fucking-tastic. As always. Setting up something big im sure. Your use of words never ceases to amaze me. Another personal favorite. Can't wait to see how this match plays out and what happens.

Daniel Stokes: Good to see you got your stride back. You RP like a motherfucker and this showed it. Nothing more to say really. Just a damn fine effort.

Manzo: Again, you are an unstoppable beast. Two guys gave you a run for your money. But you ARE motherfucking MANZO. Another match I'm excited to see turn out. The way you write Mangus is brillaince in every form.

Bratchney: Good RP, but I thought your others were better. I'm sure you will realize the flaws and fix them. Otherwise it was almost perfect. This triple threat is going to be epic.

Ben Legend: Again another epic RP. This show is filled with them and you don't disappoint. Loved the way you were talking to Rios as well. Some intriguing stuff in here.

Grand Mystique: My favorite from you so far. Really enjoyed it. Wasn't as long as your previous efforts as well, which is always a plus.

Mighty NorCal: You know what John Cen....I mean Mighty NorCal. I say FUCK the haters, if they hate...let em hate. A man of few words. In all honesty this reminded me alot of Sting from 97. That is if he talked. Dark, ominous and a cool Johnny Cash reference to boot. This gives me an idea...

Loved your RP though. Short, sweet, to the point and badass. Nothing more needs to be said. If the haters dont like the length most are jealous that they couldnt say half of what you said in their long ass RP's. Just saying...

Epic Rp's from all. Redemption should be a sweet ass show.

 

[Derf]

Alright, feedback time... Barely. I know I got called out for "bitching and complaining" about people not RPing yet, but once you look at it,the card does look really bad now, and if you on't believe me, just try to do feedback yourselves, and guess winners. It's not to hard this time around. That being said...

Mighty NorCal vs Kyle Christianson

This is one of many matchs where the winner is determined already due to a missing RP. NorCal takes this, but I'll do feedback anyways.

Your Dialog is getting better every week, theres no deneying that. But it could be so much longer! I know you say your a man of few words, and I understand that, but you could still add description and stuff. In your RP, you had one huge paragraph with no description in it whatsoever. You say your looking into the camera... That it? Description is very important, as is a little research on your match surroundings, ex: Knowing the name of the WZCW announcer. But either way, you win this match.

Shock & Drake Calahan VS Anthony Micheals

Wow. Two Staff Members, a title match, and none of you RP. I can't do feedback on the match, obviously, but what I would like to see, and I'm ure others ould agree with me, but this is the perfect time to get rid of the Tag Titles once and for all. When a champion don't RP for a title match, they lose the title. It's in the rules. I don't know how that works when the opponents don't RP either, but whats the point of Tag Titles anyways when we have no Tag Teams?

Contract Signing: Everest & Manzo

I know this ain't a match, but theres still RPs invloved... well, one RP anyways.

First off, thanks for the mention Everest. But I love how SOMEONE decided to use Christmas for an RP, and you fully stayed on track with it. Nice sway of events with Becky, that added the comedy, which makes me love your RPs that much more.

Manzo... Didn't RP. I don't know why, mayb he didn;t want to since it ain't a match, maybe some other reason, but either way, I guess he's just lucky it's not a match.

Dynasty VS Will, GM, and RM

This match, I disagreed with right off the bat, for multiple reasons. But I'll get to them as I get to them.

GM, I loved it. Showing weakness, even if it's from being attacked in a way that lands you in a hospital, can be a good thing if dne right, which you did. You also had that moment where you were maskless, and you made that work well too. Good attack on Dynasty, old and new.

Will, once again, you use your emotions on Joseph Rios for a perfect RP. Great RP (the first one, I'll get to the other later) You went in, talked about how youdon't need partners, only to accept them anyways, done in a nice way at the same time. And the fact that you never let up on making your point about wanting Rios's career ended, all throughout the RP, it was like sprinkles on Ice Cream.

Red Mask, I'm assuming your going to be our Hero? Haha. You had a decent RP, the dialog was pretty funny, kept the charecter unknown, so we don't know if he's a new guy, or an older on in disguise. And the one line "It comes down to one thing and one thing only; It is the fact that Dynasty suck. Big time." That was just funny. But you had one huge problem with your RP, and thats you had next to no description whatsoever. Three lines of it, to be exact, and not the most descriptive at that. You need to work on that a bit for better RPs.

Will, again. Your 2nd RP. This one looks to be more about attacking your opponents, and what a way you did that. 5 paragraphs attacking Ben Legend alone, thats tough! You didn't attack Rios as much, but you dropped the hints, and got him pretty good in the first RP anyways. And the "We've come full circle" line, I liked that. I don't know why, but I did.

Milenko... You got left out to dry by two missing Tag Partners, but I'll get to that later. But yor RP was shorter, vcery to the point, and in a way that makes it almost the perfect length, and each paragraph did what each one focused on the most. You played up the new Dynasty, attacked your opponents, and even slid in how you won the title. Good RP.

Now why I disagree with this match. First of, Rios is gone, and I don't think he's coming back. So this storyline should have ended a while ago, or at least, at the very latest, Redemption. But you keep draggin it on, and now Legend and Milenko are invloved. How does anyone expect them to even have a chance at winning this match KNOWING one of their Tag partners wasn't going to show? I know storylines are Ok and junk, but this one's gone overboard, and needs to end. I also disagree ith the addition of "Red Mask". There are all kinds of people on the roster that have been working their butts off for some kind of push, and you give it to a new guy, created just for a storyline. Now, I could be wrong with this, as I did hear a rumor about Red Mask's identity, but either way, others could have had this chance.

Dynasty either needs to end, or lose Rios, because he quit 5 months ago. Stop worrying about him, and push the people that deserve it, that have earned it.

Eric Derf vs Carmen Bratchny

I won't do feedback for my final RP. But I will do it for Carmen, and I will say, this RP was perfect. For your RP thread. The RP itself was great, showing how Swindle hates Carmen losing, your new stragedy to make him better, you even made Carmen look weak by having hm admit to the pain. The RP was awesome.

But there were a few problems, which is why I said this RP belongs in your RP thread. You barely mentioned the match you were in, other then tapping. You never mentioned your upcoming match at all, or your opponent. I was told in the past, I believe by Will, that not mentioning your opponent in an RP is an auto loss, unless it's followed up with a 2nd half. I was expecting you to write a 2nd RP, but it never came. So not to blow ones own horn, but I don't think you should win this match, which is a shame, cause your RP was really good, it just lacked the nessesary points for a match RP.

Vengeance VS Daniel Stokes.

Vengeance, your first RP was good, but it had it's flaws, and not just the part where you called your opponent by the wrong name. Twice. But once again, we have a case of "Good Dialog, No Description". when he's talking, is he just standing there, staring at the camera, not moving an arm, looking around, anything?

Stokes. Vengeance made a mistake, and you took full advantage. Now, while I make a hypocrite of myself from saying using anothers RP for your own ammo is bad, this mistake was to good for even myself to pass up, had it been me in your shoes. Your RP was awesome, making sure Vengeance never forgets your name, and then adding an interview, that made it even better. Had the RPs noy kept flowing in, I' have gone with you for the easy win. However...

Vengeance, you choose to redeem yourself by RPing an 2nd time. And to start, I love how you keep having these mini scenes with Diego being used to interview Vengeance, those are funny. And then you went back to your first RP with the story of "Brad" lol. Your single line for recovering your mistake earlier was "My mind was on Higher things". That could be a good thing, but it coul;d also show a weakness in Vengeance not concentrating on the task at hand. And then you attacked Brad. But this RP, it had alot more description, more charecters, it was loads better then your first.

Stokes. Your RP was visiting Brad in the hospital, and you did it nicely, you even woke the guy up, which makes Vengeance look slightly weaker for not finishing the job, and then you BOTH verbally attacked him, which was clever. Your RP had a great blend of Dialog and Description for the first part, with the Description decending as it went on, but a really nice ending.

I'm not even going to pick a winner for this match, but I bg of you two and creative, do somthing with this rivalry. Don't just keep having matchs, get somthinggoing, because you two keep stealing the show with your awesome RPs against each other. This is going to be by far my fave match of the night.

And that concludes my final feedback as a member of WZCW. I'll probably come back an do it again once I'm gone.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Yea Derf, I looked for his name for like, one minute and decided I didnt give a fuck

also, im not sure what more description I couldve given. I was walking around backstage?? is it that entirely difficult to envision the scene?? Ill start describing the scaffolding ropes and the pee stains on the wall in the background from now on for you...

 

[Lee]

also you're complaining about the tag match and the outcome, when you don't even know the outcome of the match. I mean come on.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

TheOneBigWill's RP Feedback:​

Monkey: The attitude and cockiness of your character is shining through greatly, but the Rp was in itself a bit bland. Not that that's a bad thing, I've done many a bland Rps, especially in the same light that your's was done in.. (take my last one as example)

I think it's becoming harder to RP when you can't open your imagination to find a nice setting, and a good idea for the RP other than just another promo. Regardless, Monkey, your promo was spot-on for who your character is. I doubt it'd work for anyone else to attempt it.

NorCal: Wow. It was short, and without any type of seeming format, but it was a nice short, to the point, and cryptic Rp. While I haven't seen your past work due to being gone, this is definately your best that I've seen for now. I think in complete honesty, NorCal has a great chance at winning this match.. size has never mattered in RPs, but it's how they come across, and this one.. was too the core. Very great.

Harthan: I'm new to knowing you, but I have to say you have talent. I loved the RP, you remind me of a cross between the Sandman and James Storm. You have the drunken nature of the Sandman, mixed with the humour of James Storm. While I think this match was ultimately to weed-out the undesired, I'm misunderstood to see why you're even in it.

With the talent you seem to hold, I'd imagine you'll be a Champion quicker than being in another "almost fired" match. Great RP.

FLUK: While I knew of your 2nd RP before I read the first, the fact is I loved both. The 2nd shows the comic side of your character, while the first is an intense look at your past. I can't wait to find out where this is going, and when everything is revealed it's going to be amazing, I'm sure of it.

Red Mask is a character with wide open possibilities and I can't wait to see future RPs. I'm sure you have the ability to match Ricky's "out there" style. Especially with a character like this one.

Bozzaholic: Simply put. Loved it. The character, Russian, is unique to our fed and it's exactly what we need right now. Just like Harthan, you're new to me and I haven't had the pleasure, but from what I've seen.. you have a great deal of talent for Rps in e-feds. I'm glad you're with us.

The Rp was simple, but it had a type of "Rocky" type feel. Like I said, I haven't had the pleasure of knowing you so I'm unsure what your character truly is all about. I get the sense you're a Russian who's unsure what his purpose is, so he's being guided. Possibly in a heelish way?? I can't wait to see more.

Danmen001: You seem to have lost the touch with being Australian. You also seem to have developed your character into a depression over what seems to be the lack of winning, which makes your RP very good and interesting.

I'm unsure who Brad is, but by the sounds of it, it's someone Vengeance randomly attacked and left for dead.. that you've be-friended. I like that, it's connecting you into a real feud with Vengeance. Your Rp was very good overall, and you seem determined to pick up a victory, that doesn't leave any doubt in your mind, or ill-after-effects.

Polley: Polley, your RPs never seem to get old. I truly admire everything your write, especially with this type of character because new ideas have to get harder to find. From the way it seems, the "Master" will be revealed on Meltdown.

I've missed a lot in the time I was gone, but the one thing I truly wanted to be here for, was the result of this storyline. I can't wait to see where it goes, and how it continues. Your RP was excellent.

Everest: Without a doubt, there is one and only one reason why you are the heart, soul and everything inbetween for this e-fed. Your Rps are amazing. Your way with words, and how you bring everything together, involving everyone in a great way is perfect.

Not withstanding that unfortunately 2 of the 4 individuals on the opposing side didn't RP, one of which is apparently gone.. it's sad, because this match-up had great potential to be one of the best Rp battles we've seen in a long time.

I personally hope that Isy/Manzo Rps for your showdown for the title. You deserve a great opponent, and nothing less. I'm sure you're just as sick as everyone else, at getting snubbed out through other's no-showing. I hope for this fed's sake, that you get a great opponent. I know Isy can be, if he just shows up.

Milenko: You're definately the one defining factor in a 'Dynasty' that's all but fallen. Your RP was just like all the rest, about as great as it could be. I'm glad you're still apart of this e-fed because you have all the right skills, and most importantly, I can't express how much I'm happy to see you come so far from where you began.

I feel sorry that you ended up in what SHOULD'VE been a great faction, only to see it more or less go to shit within one show's week. I think you'll have a bright future, and hopefully you stick with us.

a0161613: Right around the time I returned I heard some small crumblings of people complaining over you cutting an RP/promo in the ring. I don't get why, but in complete honesty.. this is far from your best work.

You almost seemed like you either A.) Knew your opponent wouldn't show up. or B.) Just simply don't care anymore. I would hope it's not either, because I want to see you write your best, whether you have an opponent who's dedicated in showing up, or forgetful and didn't. You have plenty of potential, and in my opinion were one of last year's "rookie of the year" picks.

I don't get the comment about feeling that this (the match? or the RP) was "pants". It must be a UK slag saying. Either way, I can't wait to see the RP you have against Milenko. It'll have to (obviously) be ten times better than this if you expect to be a Champion.

 

[Iscariot]

Ok, so first batch of feedback in a while, lets see how everyone got on – May I quickly mention though how refreshing it is to see everyone RP for their matches, it’s brilliant, as is the turnout for new RP’ers. Well done everyone.

BATTLE ROYAL​

Great Milenko: Unlucky that you didn’t catch the ‘Diego’ reference, but otherwise a solid interview. I like the approach you took that you were taking Dynasty as your own, very good heel RP. A bit too short for my liking, but good. I have trouble imagining where your character will go from here, but I suspect that’s just me. Not your best work however, but you are improving all the time.
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

USA: I like the character, I really do. I don’t know if it’s the pride he really shows, but I like the direction and I like the name. And the image of Cena fits perfectly, in general a really good character creation. RP-wise I thought it was very strong and very passionate, and works in theme with the character. I think you need to improve your display and presentation, but that being said I think the work itself was very good. Well done!
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Carmen Bratcheny: I just want to thank you for not producing this RP against me in our triple threat match, dear god man this was beautiful. Perfect length, elegant in its simplicity and delivery, topped with a wonderfully evocative scene. Simply brilliant. The wording, the characters, everything and everyone had its place. Top of the class. People, anyone wanting to see how to write a RP, read this. Now.
Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Pheonix: VERY short, but that being said you managed to fit a surprising amount into six paragraphs of speech, so well done on prioritising and delivery. Colouring was ok, easy to read but perhaps you need to look at sentence structure in order to draw people in. RP-Wise I think it was a good backstory RP, and contained some good thoughts and images. With work you can advance the character I hope.
Rating: 3.2 / 5:0

Garth Black: Good man! I like that you highlight the name of your character the first time it is mentioned, in the colour you will be speaking him with – it’s something I was impressed with and only became more impressed the more I read. Good sentence structure, good choice of wording and colourings, top marks for presentation. I like italics for actions and straight for spoken, it’s something I also do. RP-Wise I think whilst short, it was invocative and directly focused on your character and the match itself. Your highlighted the nature of the environment and went on to explain how you will survive. A great shot at winning this.
Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Da Xtreme Gansta: I find the character itself somewhat cliché. That being said, it hasn’t been done in WZCW yet so in that regards he’s unique and different, maybe enough to get noticed. The presentation itself was good, not great – I find red text a pain to read due to the red wallpaper of the site and the white textbox. Still, spaced correctly and looked good. RP-Wise I like the fact you want to not just capture the title, you want to do it so the title itself is in high regards. That’s a good respect angle to come from and I liked it. Short again, but still impressive for a debut.
Rating: 2.9 / 5.0

Red Mask: I like him somewhat, and I’m intrigued to see who is under the mask. I like the superhero’esque interviews with the signed pictures and the all-for-one attitude, it’s good clean and wholesome that we don’t really get in WZCW besides Everest, so you’re in good standing there. Presentation is good, with clearly defined text for each character, again I dislike red but then, being Red Mask, I’m a little more open to it for you! RP-Wise I liked it, was very well written and came across humble and yet confident, so marks there for character. I think possibly the clean-cut of him might hold him back from developing, but for the time being it’s good to see.
Rating: 4.1 / 5.0

Big Will: You know I love your work, always have since the day you joined, and I’m as glad I backed you then as I am now. Beautiful character development, easily as interesting to see as anyone on the roster. Good length, good evolutionary RP, great set up, and I like the irony that when you was a heel, you would have slapped that thief silly for taking you bag, hence helping the woman, but now you’re a face, you let him escape out of ignorance for the situation. I liked that touch, made me smile.
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Vengeance: Again, you know I’m a fan as I’ve always tried to push you also. I like the current storyline and I like the direction your character has taken. The presentation was perfect as always, and the Leon dynamic is working for you very well. Good work with great imagery again, not your best but then your best is so insanely high in standard it will be nothing short of perfection for you to do that.
Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Daniel: I liked the new direction, very good. Playful yet focused, vague and yet specific in your designs. I think it showed the confidence level being restored to the prideful aussie and I’d like to see where he goes from here. Good work.
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Drake Callahan: I like your character, he falls into a similar vein as Ricky in his eccentric side. Well RP’d out, it is often difficult to write shambolic well, and you do it very well. Good sentence structure, well written and showed that Callahan has at least some memory of a time before this morning.
Rating: 4.0 / 5.0