Mighty NorCal
SHALL WE BEGIN?
I felt this needed to be kept seperate from the wreslting show section, becuase its an epic even in and of itself.
To truly tell this tale, I need to start the night before. I stop at Wafflehouse in the middle of nowere on the way home from my Girl's place like I always do, and I see numerous cars out front. As I pull up, I hear the bass. I see girls. 4 of them. With their trunks open , dancing. What. the FUCCCKK ever. I go inside, and order the usual, two breakfast wraps. Delicious. I throw music on the jukebox to drown out the labroious shit these morons had playing out of their trunks.
I am then informed by the waitress that the girls out front are actually all bi sexual, and all strippers. She knows, becuase one of them is her Girlfriend. I knew she was telling the truth, becuase one of them came in, and they tongue kissed (there were just two waitresses, and I was the only customer, so it want a big deal. it was fuckin 3am in fuck all nowere, Delaware)
I walk outside, and the girls approach and say "hey baby, you want a group lap dance"...if only they knew to whom they spoke.
I simply stared at them, and said strongly..."NO"...got in the car, blared my metal (slipknot in fact) and drove off. I went to bed, and snapped awake at 8 am. I was laying there awake, and no bullshit, as if by ESP, IC25 text messages me. We start getting pumped, texting back and forth about how awesome the night is gonna be, like little girls. lulz. I get out of bed, and try to explain to my roomate how a scramble match works, since I thought we would be seeing one. Wrong. Oh well.
So we roll out and start to head up the NJ turnpike. We get to a rest stop were the AJ smoothie incident took place, and had ROb Zombie fucking BLASTING. In order to hear your music while driving 100 mph, you have to turn it up really fuckin loud, y'know. A little girl looks at us and I say "dont look into this car little girl, are you out of ur fuckin mind??!?!" The music was absurdly loud, so she couldnt hear me right? well, he mom walks up. Oh fuck.
The mom proceeds to bend over, with a VERY loose top on, exposing 80% of her very obviously fake tits, and asks us the best way to get to Maine. Seriously. No bullshit. We told her were definately the wrong two to ask LOL. she then bats her eyes and says "ok, thanks anyway boys" MmmmmmHHMmmm.
So we get up to NYC after a fairly uneventfull drive, and go through the lincoln tunnel. both of us are on edge, never having been to the city, and most CERTAINLEY never driven in the city. So AJ is navigating, and I ask him what to do next since "we are in NYC now, and shit could get crazy" to which he answers "I know, RIGHT"
So of course, I turn right. Which was wrong. Very, very, wrong. So we almost get into like, 4 crashes, and eventually find a place to park.
So we get out, and begin to walk. Like right out of a damn movie, not ONE MINUTE after we get onto the street, we walk past a hispanic woman on a pay phone with ten babies hanging off her, screaming "talk that shit here motherfucker, come get these fucking babies you stupid fuck, fuck you you little bitch". "Ah, the city" NorCal remarks.
So we just star strolling and strolling, being as we are 4 hours early. We go to a TGIF right nex to the Garden, and just get an appetzer platter, motherfucking HOT FUCKING GREASE squirts out of it when I bite it, and burns THE FUCK out of my lip. Holy shit man. I had a blister from it for about 3 days. We just keep walking after lunch, in search of the ESPN zone. stop at a crosswalk. I look up and say
"Hey. the side of that building is a TV. we are in times square"
and, we were. sweet ass. So we go walking around, and about 12 people eithe rmade comments about the size of my body, or my tattoos. Very interactive city, this NYC. Some guy tried to hand me an advertisement for his work place (lots of people did) leading to this exchange
Dude: Hey do you like lousy comedy?
norCal: Why the fuck would I like something thats lousy?
Dude: Uh. well we have naked girls wrestling too!!!
*NorCal's face turns into a glare*
NorCal: Dude. Get the fuck out of my face.
So IC tells me he is on the train, and we head back to MSG, and Penn Station.
*watch wrestling show*
Ok, so im going to the entranceway during the MVP-Ziggler match, to pee. I hear this little tiny voice behind me "excuse me, hey excuse me..."
I turn around and...HUGE TITS IN MY FACE....whoaaaa there sugar.
standing in front of me is a 5'5ish, well toned, girl with huge fake tits, and Black hair wth purple and blue-green streaks in it. She says
"hey, your fucking gorgeous. Awesome tattoos too. can I see your back? I am totally scoping you out, I admit it..."
I let he rlook at my back work by pulling my shirt to the side and such, and she tells me she is a wrestler, and Indy wrestler in NJ and NY. She then tells me she won her first title the night before, working heel. She then says that she wants to hook up with me, tonight. and her friend thinks that MY friend, in the red shirt is hot. and we should all "have a little party, to celebrate her title" after the show. leading to this exchange
NorCal: Ah, we arent from her
Her: so what? thats ok.
NorCal: We are only in town for one night
Her: thats ok
NorCal: I have a Girlfriend
Her: *sly grin*...thats ok *giggle*
NorCal: My friend is MARRIED and has THREE kids
*she looks back at her friend, and yells the info*
Her: thats all ok. thats fine. In that case, its probably better that you guys are leaving after tonight. So, can I get your number, and we can meet outsdide after the show?
NorCal: Im very sorry ma'am, I cant do that. Im not that kind of man, and neither is my friend. You are VERY pretty (see: you have huge boobs and a rockin body, and I would love to have intercourse with you) and its awesome you are a wrestler though. Keep it up, thats really fricken awesome
Her: Ok adam. very nice meeting you
she smiles, and walks off, giving the arm shrug and I dont know gestrue to her friend.
So after we drop IC off, we walk down the street back to the parking garage. We are trying to find the Lincoln tunnel, and we see a sign, with an arrow pointing that says "Lincoln Tunnel" and Aj says "Oh yeeeaaa, mah maaaan"
One way street. headlights coming towards us. OH shit. we flip a biiiiitch, avoid other cars, and get back on the road. Finally find the Lincoln tunnel, and ride all the way back home. Remember, 4 hours sleep, a full day of walking and marking out. That was a SHIT 3 hour drive, for fucking sure.
sun burnt. Lip seared and blistered. girls providing all manner of ill reputed temptation. an incredibly fucking fun 25 or so hours.
To truly tell this tale, I need to start the night before. I stop at Wafflehouse in the middle of nowere on the way home from my Girl's place like I always do, and I see numerous cars out front. As I pull up, I hear the bass. I see girls. 4 of them. With their trunks open , dancing. What. the FUCCCKK ever. I go inside, and order the usual, two breakfast wraps. Delicious. I throw music on the jukebox to drown out the labroious shit these morons had playing out of their trunks.
I am then informed by the waitress that the girls out front are actually all bi sexual, and all strippers. She knows, becuase one of them is her Girlfriend. I knew she was telling the truth, becuase one of them came in, and they tongue kissed (there were just two waitresses, and I was the only customer, so it want a big deal. it was fuckin 3am in fuck all nowere, Delaware)
I walk outside, and the girls approach and say "hey baby, you want a group lap dance"...if only they knew to whom they spoke.
I simply stared at them, and said strongly..."NO"...got in the car, blared my metal (slipknot in fact) and drove off. I went to bed, and snapped awake at 8 am. I was laying there awake, and no bullshit, as if by ESP, IC25 text messages me. We start getting pumped, texting back and forth about how awesome the night is gonna be, like little girls. lulz. I get out of bed, and try to explain to my roomate how a scramble match works, since I thought we would be seeing one. Wrong. Oh well.
So we roll out and start to head up the NJ turnpike. We get to a rest stop were the AJ smoothie incident took place, and had ROb Zombie fucking BLASTING. In order to hear your music while driving 100 mph, you have to turn it up really fuckin loud, y'know. A little girl looks at us and I say "dont look into this car little girl, are you out of ur fuckin mind??!?!" The music was absurdly loud, so she couldnt hear me right? well, he mom walks up. Oh fuck.
The mom proceeds to bend over, with a VERY loose top on, exposing 80% of her very obviously fake tits, and asks us the best way to get to Maine. Seriously. No bullshit. We told her were definately the wrong two to ask LOL. she then bats her eyes and says "ok, thanks anyway boys" MmmmmmHHMmmm.
So we get up to NYC after a fairly uneventfull drive, and go through the lincoln tunnel. both of us are on edge, never having been to the city, and most CERTAINLEY never driven in the city. So AJ is navigating, and I ask him what to do next since "we are in NYC now, and shit could get crazy" to which he answers "I know, RIGHT"
So of course, I turn right. Which was wrong. Very, very, wrong. So we almost get into like, 4 crashes, and eventually find a place to park.
So we get out, and begin to walk. Like right out of a damn movie, not ONE MINUTE after we get onto the street, we walk past a hispanic woman on a pay phone with ten babies hanging off her, screaming "talk that shit here motherfucker, come get these fucking babies you stupid fuck, fuck you you little bitch". "Ah, the city" NorCal remarks.
So we just star strolling and strolling, being as we are 4 hours early. We go to a TGIF right nex to the Garden, and just get an appetzer platter, motherfucking HOT FUCKING GREASE squirts out of it when I bite it, and burns THE FUCK out of my lip. Holy shit man. I had a blister from it for about 3 days. We just keep walking after lunch, in search of the ESPN zone. stop at a crosswalk. I look up and say
"Hey. the side of that building is a TV. we are in times square"
and, we were. sweet ass. So we go walking around, and about 12 people eithe rmade comments about the size of my body, or my tattoos. Very interactive city, this NYC. Some guy tried to hand me an advertisement for his work place (lots of people did) leading to this exchange
Dude: Hey do you like lousy comedy?
norCal: Why the fuck would I like something thats lousy?
Dude: Uh. well we have naked girls wrestling too!!!
*NorCal's face turns into a glare*
NorCal: Dude. Get the fuck out of my face.
So IC tells me he is on the train, and we head back to MSG, and Penn Station.
*watch wrestling show*
Ok, so im going to the entranceway during the MVP-Ziggler match, to pee. I hear this little tiny voice behind me "excuse me, hey excuse me..."
I turn around and...HUGE TITS IN MY FACE....whoaaaa there sugar.
standing in front of me is a 5'5ish, well toned, girl with huge fake tits, and Black hair wth purple and blue-green streaks in it. She says
"hey, your fucking gorgeous. Awesome tattoos too. can I see your back? I am totally scoping you out, I admit it..."
I let he rlook at my back work by pulling my shirt to the side and such, and she tells me she is a wrestler, and Indy wrestler in NJ and NY. She then tells me she won her first title the night before, working heel. She then says that she wants to hook up with me, tonight. and her friend thinks that MY friend, in the red shirt is hot. and we should all "have a little party, to celebrate her title" after the show. leading to this exchange
NorCal: Ah, we arent from her
Her: so what? thats ok.
NorCal: We are only in town for one night
Her: thats ok
NorCal: I have a Girlfriend
Her: *sly grin*...thats ok *giggle*
NorCal: My friend is MARRIED and has THREE kids
*she looks back at her friend, and yells the info*
Her: thats all ok. thats fine. In that case, its probably better that you guys are leaving after tonight. So, can I get your number, and we can meet outsdide after the show?
NorCal: Im very sorry ma'am, I cant do that. Im not that kind of man, and neither is my friend. You are VERY pretty (see: you have huge boobs and a rockin body, and I would love to have intercourse with you) and its awesome you are a wrestler though. Keep it up, thats really fricken awesome
Her: Ok adam. very nice meeting you
she smiles, and walks off, giving the arm shrug and I dont know gestrue to her friend.
So after we drop IC off, we walk down the street back to the parking garage. We are trying to find the Lincoln tunnel, and we see a sign, with an arrow pointing that says "Lincoln Tunnel" and Aj says "Oh yeeeaaa, mah maaaan"
One way street. headlights coming towards us. OH shit. we flip a biiiiitch, avoid other cars, and get back on the road. Finally find the Lincoln tunnel, and ride all the way back home. Remember, 4 hours sleep, a full day of walking and marking out. That was a SHIT 3 hour drive, for fucking sure.
sun burnt. Lip seared and blistered. girls providing all manner of ill reputed temptation. an incredibly fucking fun 25 or so hours.
