I know, I know; another drunken Sam thread. I'm a little bit more pissed than last time too, so that means both less entertainment and less cohesion. Joy of joys.
Anyway, me and my mate are walking past a kebab shop. The three women, in their thirties at least, either notice my friend's lack of shoes or our collective lack of age.
"You don't have any shoes on!"
"That's because they cut the back of my feet, see? I'm still holding them in my hands."
*Painfully long talk - which my friend, not me, maintains - in which, holy crap, it's revealed they used to go to the same school as me, many years before. I don't know whether to run or vomit. Or both. Slightly more attractive cougar puts her arm around me, suddenly sounding Australian*
"Your mate is embarrassing you, isn't he?"
"[No. In fact, I'm really jonesing for some thirty plus year old pussy, miss] Yes, he is."
Yeah, um, we escaped eventually. I'm no good at stories.
I'm not against cougars, it's just that I kept seeing Vickie Guerrero in my head. It's not that I wouldn't fuck Vickie, it's just how I'd be betraying Eddie.
MEANWHILE: My closest friend attempts to make amends with the ex-girlfriend he cheated on (and so despises him to the point she said "DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING DRINK" this very evening) somewhere else, but we can't find him. The guilt piles on. Mind you, the cunt still has my iPod.
