Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
Not in these ones, if you want WZ's real E-Fed WZCW is the place to be.
Martin Sheen Championship Wrestling (MSCW)
- Thread starter Cena's Little Helper
- Start date
Not in these ones, if you want WZ's real E-Fed WZCW is the place to be.
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Location: FedEx Field, home of the Washington Redskins, just miles outside of America's capital. The stadium is filled to capacity. The field is standing room only. In each corner of the field stands a huge LCD monitor, 120 feet by 67.5 feet. Justice begins to play "Phantom II." The stadium erupts, waiting for the four on the floor beat to start. Spotlights flash over the crowd on the field. Men are shirtless, screaming at the top of their lungs. The wait is almost over. Feminine cups of all sizes pour over halter tops and under previously tight-fitting t-shirts. This only adds to the excitement.
Finally, the beat comes, along with the klieg lights...
[youtube]X2kOa5IlqFE[/youtube]
Finally, the beat comes, along with the klieg lights...
[youtube]X2kOa5IlqFE[/youtube]
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
As the crowd continues to go ape shit, Justinian Corregidor, a purposeful-looking man with a determined look on his face briskly walks out from the backstage towards the ring. Every one of his steps activates lasers that are adjacent to the walkway. From the seemingly continuous spectrum formed by the lasers, it can be inferred that someone in the back is an admirer Mr. Roy G. Biv. Corregidor reaches the end of the walkway, grabs a microphone, and points to a drunken young man right next to the ringside barricade. Stadium employees tell him to hop over, and he lets out an emphatic "YEAAHHHHH!!!" that can only be faintly heard by those closest to him. The young man jumps into the ring next to Corregidor. As Corregidor lifts the microphone up to his mouth, the music stops and the crowd goes dead silent.
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Corregidor: Hello, DC, my name is Justinian Corregidor. I will be your emcee tonight. Young man, what's your name?
Young Man: Yeaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Jack's the name.
Corregidor: Well, Jack, why don't you kick off the night by telling is what's good?
Young Man: IT"S MOTHERFUCKING LASERS AND SHIT!!!
The crowd erupts.
Corregidor: Indeed, my good man, it is. DC, I won't waste any more of your time. Why don't we get things underway?
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Corregidor: Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!!!
Young Man: Yeaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Jack's the name.
Corregidor: Well, Jack, why don't you kick off the night by telling is what's good?
Young Man: IT"S MOTHERFUCKING LASERS AND SHIT!!!
The crowd erupts.
Corregidor: Indeed, my good man, it is. DC, I won't waste any more of your time. Why don't we get things underway?
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Corregidor: Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!!!
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Good show.
The rest is coming tonight.
ÐаÑбоÑа
doesn't know REAL wrestling...
tdiglÉric Rohmer;1385834 said:
I just love the use of historical persons and battles to produce a name for an authority figure.
It adds gravitas
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
The Intro:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Tag Team Tournament, Round 1, Match 1: Philip Morris vs. PlantyKon
PlantyKon makes its way out first. Plantman is struggling to carry a ream of signed photos of himself. He's smiling, excited to throw his photos out to the crowd, until he realizes that no one wants them; all of his prepubescent female fans have been trampled to death by all of the drunk coeds from Georgetown, Maryland, and GW who have come to witness the awesomeness that is Justice and Justinian Corregidor. Unfortunately, FalKon's smile can't neutralize the frown forming on Plantman's face, as it's wearing a loose-fitting, all-concealing burqa. Plantman leaves his photos by the ringside, and both he and FalKon enter the ring as PlantyKon.
Lee Boyd Malvo (tonight's special guest ring announcer, donning his orange prison jumpsuit and manacles on both his wrists and ankles): Ladies and gentlemen, PlantyKon!!!
The crowd cheers and a drunk young woman yells, "Thanks a lot for sniping my whole family, Lee Boyd. Ow owwwwwwwwwww!!!"
Next, a J-Pop song talking about some chick named Juliet comes on, and the crowd goes ballistic. Dewey and Ty Burna come out, each with five lit cigarettes in their mouth, each with a grimace on their face. The raise the roof, put their arms in the air like they just don't care, and the crowd is eating it up. All of a sudden, they both collapse. Attending physicians run out to their aid. Two physicians try to perform CPR on the men, but as soon as their lips touch, they doctors die instantly from an extremely potent and malignant form of cancer that metastasizes in a matter or microseconds. A minute or two later, with everyone still frozen in shock (save for the crowd, they're too busy drinking, fighting, and looking at bare breasts), Dewey and Ty Burna get up, but, unfortunately for them, men dressed in biohazard suits have rushed out to contain them in plastic bubbles. They squirm and tell the suits to fuck off, but there's too many of them. They are taken off...will we see them again?
Lee Boyd Malvo: The winners of this match, PlantyKon!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Tag Team Tournament, Round 1, Match 1: Philip Morris vs. PlantyKon
PlantyKon makes its way out first. Plantman is struggling to carry a ream of signed photos of himself. He's smiling, excited to throw his photos out to the crowd, until he realizes that no one wants them; all of his prepubescent female fans have been trampled to death by all of the drunk coeds from Georgetown, Maryland, and GW who have come to witness the awesomeness that is Justice and Justinian Corregidor. Unfortunately, FalKon's smile can't neutralize the frown forming on Plantman's face, as it's wearing a loose-fitting, all-concealing burqa. Plantman leaves his photos by the ringside, and both he and FalKon enter the ring as PlantyKon.
Lee Boyd Malvo (tonight's special guest ring announcer, donning his orange prison jumpsuit and manacles on both his wrists and ankles): Ladies and gentlemen, PlantyKon!!!
The crowd cheers and a drunk young woman yells, "Thanks a lot for sniping my whole family, Lee Boyd. Ow owwwwwwwwwww!!!"
Next, a J-Pop song talking about some chick named Juliet comes on, and the crowd goes ballistic. Dewey and Ty Burna come out, each with five lit cigarettes in their mouth, each with a grimace on their face. The raise the roof, put their arms in the air like they just don't care, and the crowd is eating it up. All of a sudden, they both collapse. Attending physicians run out to their aid. Two physicians try to perform CPR on the men, but as soon as their lips touch, they doctors die instantly from an extremely potent and malignant form of cancer that metastasizes in a matter or microseconds. A minute or two later, with everyone still frozen in shock (save for the crowd, they're too busy drinking, fighting, and looking at bare breasts), Dewey and Ty Burna get up, but, unfortunately for them, men dressed in biohazard suits have rushed out to contain them in plastic bubbles. They squirm and tell the suits to fuck off, but there's too many of them. They are taken off...will we see them again?
Lee Boyd Malvo: The winners of this match, PlantyKon!
Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Lee Boyd Malvo: Ladies and gentleman, an announcement from MSCW's administrator, Boutros Boutros-Ghali
The crowd boos as the old ass Egyptian appears on all of the stadium's LCD monitors.
Boutros Boutros-Ghali: Ah, yes. And a big fuck you to you too, DC. Just remember, I'm getting laid and paid while you're getting played. I regret to inform you cunt nuggets that three teams, I Fuck A Lot Of Women Out Of My League, Want A Meeting With President Obama, And Have A Tag Partner Named Lee. Omerta, and Mongoloids FTL, have been disqualified from tonight's tag team tournament for conspiring to assassinate both members of The John Birch Society. Well, Mongoloids FTL didn't take part in this conspiracy, but I happen to find ******s quite funny, especially when they bite car windows out of frustration. So, I have suspended them from MSCW until our next event. Since killing any managerial member of MSCW only carries a two event suspension penalty, I decided to be fair and only ban the two conspiring tag teams for one event as well.
Finally, The John Birch Society have understandably forfeited their match tonight against Bond Girls In Heat, so, Bond Girls In Heat will take on The Loopsa Opsas and the winning team will go on to face PlantyKon in the tournament final. All right, assholes, I'm Audi 5000.
Tag Team Tournament, Round 1, Match 2: Bond Girls In Heat vs. The Loopsa Opsas
The Bond Girls In Heat come out first. They get a pretty decent pop.
Next come out jmt225 and RVDGurl, otherwise known as The Loopsa Opsas. They are in full Oompa Loompa dress, driving an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, with a multitude of yappy, snarling Pomeranians, Pekingese, and Chihuahuas following the car, trying to get a bite out of the steel, hot dog body. When they reach the ringside, they waddle out of the Wienermobile, smiling, looking for a fight.
Lee Boyd Malvo: Ladies and gentleman, this match will take place for one fal...
Coco lunges for RVDGurl and clotheslines her over the ropes. Given his momentum, he goes over with her, and The Loopsa Opsa Arf! Clique goes right for Coco as he hits the ground. Coco comes up screaming, "Get these fucking little lap dogs off of me!" As jmt225 tends to RVDGurl, Vincent Irizarry comes over, intending to kick ass and take names. He grabs pooches by the handful, punting them in the audience. Unbeknownst to either jmt225 and RVDGurl, the chihuahua who is currently biting Coco's left arm is the Taco Bell dog's French cousin, Little Jacques. Irizarry takes Little Jacques by the nape. Dreading his aerial ascension, courtesy of Irizarry's Ass-by-Foot Express, Little Jacques yells, "SACREBLEU!!!!!!!"
Little Jacques' exclamation gets the attention of Justice. Both members of the French House duo jump up from their ringside seats, look at each other, smile, yell "SACREBLEU!!!!!!!," and run to their turntables. After rummaging through their vinyl, they put on Shiny Toy Guns' Le Disko.
Irizarry, smirking over the fact that he just punted Little Jacques to the upper tiers of Fed Ex Field, quickly goes straight and rigid as he hears Le Disko. Over a span of about two minutes, he transmogrifies into a cross-dressing werewolf.
The crowd boos as the old ass Egyptian appears on all of the stadium's LCD monitors.
Boutros Boutros-Ghali: Ah, yes. And a big fuck you to you too, DC. Just remember, I'm getting laid and paid while you're getting played. I regret to inform you cunt nuggets that three teams, I Fuck A Lot Of Women Out Of My League, Want A Meeting With President Obama, And Have A Tag Partner Named Lee. Omerta, and Mongoloids FTL, have been disqualified from tonight's tag team tournament for conspiring to assassinate both members of The John Birch Society. Well, Mongoloids FTL didn't take part in this conspiracy, but I happen to find ******s quite funny, especially when they bite car windows out of frustration. So, I have suspended them from MSCW until our next event. Since killing any managerial member of MSCW only carries a two event suspension penalty, I decided to be fair and only ban the two conspiring tag teams for one event as well.
Finally, The John Birch Society have understandably forfeited their match tonight against Bond Girls In Heat, so, Bond Girls In Heat will take on The Loopsa Opsas and the winning team will go on to face PlantyKon in the tournament final. All right, assholes, I'm Audi 5000.
Tag Team Tournament, Round 1, Match 2: Bond Girls In Heat vs. The Loopsa Opsas
The Bond Girls In Heat come out first. They get a pretty decent pop.
Next come out jmt225 and RVDGurl, otherwise known as The Loopsa Opsas. They are in full Oompa Loompa dress, driving an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, with a multitude of yappy, snarling Pomeranians, Pekingese, and Chihuahuas following the car, trying to get a bite out of the steel, hot dog body. When they reach the ringside, they waddle out of the Wienermobile, smiling, looking for a fight.
Lee Boyd Malvo: Ladies and gentleman, this match will take place for one fal...
Coco lunges for RVDGurl and clotheslines her over the ropes. Given his momentum, he goes over with her, and The Loopsa Opsa Arf! Clique goes right for Coco as he hits the ground. Coco comes up screaming, "Get these fucking little lap dogs off of me!" As jmt225 tends to RVDGurl, Vincent Irizarry comes over, intending to kick ass and take names. He grabs pooches by the handful, punting them in the audience. Unbeknownst to either jmt225 and RVDGurl, the chihuahua who is currently biting Coco's left arm is the Taco Bell dog's French cousin, Little Jacques. Irizarry takes Little Jacques by the nape. Dreading his aerial ascension, courtesy of Irizarry's Ass-by-Foot Express, Little Jacques yells, "SACREBLEU!!!!!!!"
Little Jacques' exclamation gets the attention of Justice. Both members of the French House duo jump up from their ringside seats, look at each other, smile, yell "SACREBLEU!!!!!!!," and run to their turntables. After rummaging through their vinyl, they put on Shiny Toy Guns' Le Disko.
Irizarry, smirking over the fact that he just punted Little Jacques to the upper tiers of Fed Ex Field, quickly goes straight and rigid as he hears Le Disko. Over a span of about two minutes, he transmogrifies into a cross-dressing werewolf.
Little Jerry Lawler
Sigmund Freud On Ritalin And Roids
I want in if you're still accepting people.
Nice one.