Originally posted by Davey McBoy
I damn sure wouldn't let him touch my young uns. I think we all know about Rey's history with sexual controversy, but for younger veiwers, those of you with severe memory loss and people from Belgium I will give a brief rundown of Rey Rey's history.
Rey Mysterio is a phenominally talented Lucha Libre who, with the help of Vince McMahon, has taken his craft to the grandest of stages and earned a place in wrestling history. He also loves to teabag people. He loves it so much that it has shaped wrestling lore forever.
In 1996 Mysterio teabagged Kevin Nash while he slept in a Conneticut hotel. In retalliation Kevin Nash and Scott Hall showed up at Nitro and spiked Rey into the side of a trailer before seriously injuring several WCW performers. This lead to the formation of the New World Order.
In 1997 Mysterio teabagged Glen Jacobs, burning his face so badly he had to wear a mask. Mysterio had filmed the teabagging and WWE (F at the time) was going to bring Mysterio in to do a program with Jacobs. Once Vince saw the footage however he pulled the angle after vomiting and swearing heavily for several days and they just had Jacobs be the Undertaker's brother Jim. Eh Kane.
In the year 2000 Rey Mysterio simultaniously teabagged Ted Turner and The Stock Market causing Time Warner and AOL to merge and effectively kill WCW.
In some year I wasn't really caring Rey Mysterio teabagged Gene Snitsky turning his teeth yellow and causing him to develop a foot fetish. An awful, awful AWFUL foot fetish that they just had to work into the storyline somehow.
In 200...5? Rey Mysterio teabagged Lita, damaging her brain and causing her to leave Matt Hardy for her new found love interest, a church spire. Who we do not want to see have live sex on Ra- oh you did.
Also, ever wonder why Cody and Ted are always really greasy and stunned looking?
Yup.
It is illegal for a small masked man to teabag minors at a sports entertainment show (in most states anyway) so to get around this Mysterio comes up with several vague haikus about teabagging people into submission and repeats them to the children in the crowd under the pretense of a babyface-fan bonding spot. These intricately put together haikus hypnotise the children into teabagging pets and household objects and eventually Mysterio himself.
Get over that.
