Impact UK LD

[Uncle Sam]

Muscles aren't supposed to be that big. Hold me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Good little match. Robbie T's pecks are like, I dunno, massive. They're bigger than Pluto. New planets?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Did Frankie Kazarian say "redneck scrote"?

 

[Gelgarin]

Almost certainly; Frankie Kazarian says many wonderful things during this segment. I attribute Impact's strong rating and the absence of mass suicides across the US to Kaz and Daniels rescuing this segment.

 

[Uncle Sam]

"Selfish pricks"? There needs to be a 12A up in here.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I used to joke that Kaz and Daniels should form a tag team called Kookie Kutter Kruiserweights. How wrong I was.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Surely they should have had Joseph Park read this out? That would have been gold.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Still don't know where I stand on Gut Check. I think I dislike it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Hogan with the three stooges technique there. Now he's making dog noises. Weird.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Tasty just texted me, asking me if I wanted to dance. That's why I missed the Gut Check match. Was it good?

 

[Gelgarin]

No, it was incredibly bad. My current theory is that they made it deliberately shit so they could refuse someone a contract.

 

[Danger Burger]

Gunners got to win something right?

Go bully!!

 

[Uncle Sam]

You'd think, but with nil-nil draws against Sunderland and Stoke...

Some football humour there.

This Anderson/Ray match is rather decent.

 

[Danger Burger]

Decent match indeed! The wrong man won!

Do these guys actually play poker non-stop, or is this all an act??

 

[Gelgarin]

They're using a voice distorter, methinks its an act.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Seriously, Sting, you're normally dribbling over the camera. What on Earth is up with that advert?

 

[Gelgarin]

He's trying to act in the best traditions of emotionally repressed British people everywhere?

 

[Danger Burger]

I hate those idiots that wear sunglasses and hats when theyr playin poker, but these guys take the cake!! Voice distortion? Total heel tactic. I guess we know who the bad guys are!

 

[Danger Burger]

Lets get these guys some entrance music!

Whats the deal with robbie T, is he cool now?

 

[Uncle Sam]

That can't be it - he did the same thing for one of the old WCW games. He's a weird guy.

This show needed more A Double.

 

[Danger Burger]

Why the fuck is hogan back in hollywood mode?? Its JUST stubble right??

 

[Uncle Sam]

I take that back - that was a sick suicide dive.

 

[Danger Burger]

Lets let those 1000 bikers win the fight yeah??

 

[Danger Burger]

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

[Uncle Sam]

The big guy is blatantly Joey Ryan.