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Hmmmm.... Makes you think

Sparky

Master of the Aussie kiss
Ponderisms
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 
Can you cry under water?
Yes


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Very

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Exchange rates

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
So you can actually get it out the box.

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Shell shock from Vietham

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
That one has me stumped.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
That's what I always say to them...what you woke up every two hours and shit yourself.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Just to make it that bit more important

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because people are idiots.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
So they can turn the CCTV on to sell to voyeur websites.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Gotta love the English language for that one!

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Yeah that annoys me too.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Never eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever heard sad song.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He's one of those crazy ones, where radios are fine, but simple repairing of boats are not.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Because he's not Micky's pet.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
You can't buy Road RUnner to eat by WB law.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
babies...duh.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes, also the same as ba-ba-black sheep

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
:lmao:

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
*Insert mom comment about her liking me blowing in her face*
 

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