Washington D.C.
East Potomac Park
One week before Gold Rush…
A gentle breeze whipped through the trees, as a pair of joggers, a man and a woman, ran through the park. The temperature was holding firm into the mid-50’s, but was predicted to drop to sub-freezing temperatures over the weekend. Kagura was glad that she packed a warm jacket. She and her manager, Sasuke, travelled to D.C. a few days ago to prepare for
Gold Rush. When they first flew in, she was jetlagged, tired, and nervous as hell. Who wouldn’t be? This was it, her opportunity to finally make it back to the top of the mountain in WZCW. All she had to do, was win this match. That was a lot of pressure. She knew she had a terrible track record when the chips were down.
Kingdom Come and
R-Awakening were supposed to be easy wins, that’s what the bookies said. Anyone betting money on her, would have thrown up their hands in disbelief watching Garth Black pin her shoulders to the match. Didn’t matter if he was a former world champion, Kagura was still red hot at that time.
R-Awakening saw more of the same garbage. That was a sure-fire win that was stolen from her all because her opponent pulled one of the most cowardly moves ever, and got away with it. No fan of hers had ever threatened her for costing them money, probably because they were just as angry over the result of that match as she was. Yet, despite taking loss after loss, Kagura never made any excuses for herself. Garth Black and Eve Taylor had been better than she was at
Lethal Lottery and
Kingdom Come. Xander proved that he was willing to do anything in order to win. He didn’t care about honor or pride, he just wanted to win. As she jogged, Kagura could see her breath lightly against the chilly air. She turned to steal a glance at her old mentor, who was keeping pace beside her. The old man was starting to gain back some of the muscle mass that he lost while being comatose. For weeks now, she stewed on how to combat an opponent like Xander, whose only reason for pushing so hard was self-validation. She came to a stop to catch her breath.
“You okay, kid?” Sasuke asked lightheartedly in English.
“We haven’t been running all that hard, something on your mind?”
Kagura approached one of the parks cherry blossom trees. Its branches were still barren. Cherry blossoms were one of the great symbols of Japan. She really wasn’t expecting to see so many in the States when she first came, but she was happy to see them. Even though they weren’t in bloom yet, it was still comforting to see them. She grabbed her water bottle, and took a swig from it. She turned towards the older man and responded in her native tongue.
「私はちょうど金のラッシュを考えてきました、そして、将来について、それはすべてです私たちは何週間もレスリングのビジネスについて話をしました、このようなビジネスで楽しみを持っていることを意味するものについて私はあなたが私に何を言おうとしてきたのか理解していると思います。
“I’ve been thinking about Gold Rush, and about the future, that’s all. We’ve talked for weeks about the wrestling business, about what it means to have fun in an industry like this. I think I understand what you’ve been trying to tell me.”
He raised his eyebrow,
“Really? That’s good to hear. Does that mean you’re finally gonna stop all this brooding and worrying? Week after week, watching you obsess over missed opportunities this, and closed doors that, has been a real pain in my ass.”
「私は苦痛になるつもりはありませんでした、サスケ。 あなたは私にいくつかの正直なアドバイスを与えた、と私は感謝しています。
“It wasn’t my intention to be a pain, Sasuke. You gave me some honest advice, and I’m grateful.”
She reached out and placed her hand on the trunk of the cherry blossom tree.
「あなたは、これらの木が私にどのくらいの意味を知っていることを確信している、右?
“I’m sure you’re aware, how much these trees mean to me, right?”
Sasuke nodded, she was a shrine maiden after all. Cherry blossom festivals were not only common in Japan, but were akin to religious ceremonies. He had memories of watching the trees in full bloom when he was a boy growing up in Saitama.
「これらの木が咲くとき、ペダルはすぐに落ちます。傷口から血液が侵入すると、花が落ち、枝が再び露出します。私たちは、それが当たり前のように生命を取ることがどれだけ短いかを思い出します。プライドは持っていませんが、私は傲慢であり、その下にあります。私は競争力があり、私は負けたくありません。私を前進させるものは、ザンダーを運転することと同じです。 私たちの努力を検証したいだけです。
“When these trees bloom, the pedals fall quickly. Like blood seeping from wound, the flowers fall, leaving the branches bare again. We who take life for granted need only to be reminded how short it is. I don’t carry myself with pride, but I am arrogant, underneath it all. I’m competitive, and I hate losing. What drives me forward is the same thing driving Xander. We just want validation for our efforts.”
Sasuke turned, and stared out into the sky. The park was focused at the heart of Washington D.C. Many of the monuments, and top government buildings, were within walking distance. On the horizon lay the Potomac river, with the Virginia boarder right behind that. Lost in thought, the seconds ticked away with neither of them saying a word. Suddenly, he spoke up, without turning to look at her.
“Have you decided to validate yourself, then? Xander’s not gonna stop until he reaches the top, and that probably won’t ever happen for him, and that goes for you too. Are you okay with that?”
Kagura was silent for a moment. She just stared up at the barren tree branch. One day soon it would be bursting with life, blooming with delicate pink flowers that would soon rain down, coating the earth with enough vibrancy to awe even the most miserable of people.
はい.私です。
Her entire career was like a falling cherry blossom. It was bright and colorful, with accolades like the Elite and World titles to bolster it, accomplishments like winning the KFAD briefcase to cushion it. Still, it wasn’t a hall of fame worthy career. If she won Gold Rush, and then won the world title again for a second time, then maybe. However, not everyone was destined for that kind of greatness. Then again, she never thought she would wear the world title strap in any capacity to begin with. That was the culmination of a long, and arduous journey filled with failure after failure, until she finally got lucky. Sure, plenty of fans and pros alike had sung her praises, kissed her ass, and placed her abilities on a pedestal. That’s not what she wanted. Xander didn’t want that either, that’s why he shunned the fans in the first place, but that wasn’t the kind of person she was. This match was more of a butting of opinions than anything else.
「私はちょうど私がどこまで行くことができるか見てみたい、それはすべてです。桜の花は、単に人生のつかの間、死のファイナリティを表すだけでなく、自分の復活でもありません。ザンダーはすでにそれを行うことができました, 彼は彼の外観とアイデンティティを変更したとき.私は同じことをする時間だと思います。
“I just want to see how far I can go, that’s all. Cherry blossoms don’t just represent the fleeting of life, and the finality of death, but the rebirth of oneself. Xander’s already managed to do that, when he changed his appearance and identity. I think it’s time that I do the same.”
Her advocate laughed,
“Even if that means that you’ll never reach the top, or be a champion again, you’re fine with that?”
She smiled,
「それが起こるなら、はい。彼の自慢のすべてと彼の浮気のすべてにもかかわらず、ザンダーがその次のステップを取るの高いであることを決定する力-それは大丈夫です。このビジネスの中で、失敗と共に生きる方法を学んでいるのですよね?私は長い間失敗してきた。私はそれを受け入れます。私はそれを所有します。私にできることは、一生懸命努力することだけです。私が確かに知っていることの一つは、WZCW がドアを閉める日までここにいるということです。私はザンダーについて同じことを言うことができるかどうかはわかりません。ゴールドラッシュに勝てないなら、もう一度ユーラシアのタイトルを追求します。多分エリート選手権, そして、それは再び周りにロールバックするときに致命的な宝くじを獲得.成功するために全力を尽くします。それは私がいつもやってきたことです。
“If that what happens, yes. If the powers-that-be determine that Xander is worthier of taking that next step, despite all of his boasting, and all of his cheating, then that’s fine. Part of being in this business is learning how to live with failure, right? I’ve been a failure for a long time. I accept that. I own that. All I can do is try my hardest. One thing that I do know for sure, is that I’ll be here until the day WZCW closes it’s doors. I don’t know if I can say the same thing about Xander. If I can’t win Gold Rush, then I’ll pursue the Eurasian title again. Maybe the Elite championship, and win Lethal Lottery when it rolls around again. I’ll do my best to succeed. That’s what I’ve always done.”
She stepped away from the tree, and joined the older man on the running path,
「私は、ザンダーのような男がそのようなドライブを持っているとは思わない。実際には、WZCW の多くの人々が行うことはありません。農民のすべてのアクティブなホールは、彼らが縞を失うことに行く場合でも、一貫性のあるレベルを維持しています。タイタスは最近の大規模な損失だけが王国に来た。マイキー Stormrage は最近、企業初の決闘チャンピオンとなりました。マット・ Tastic は、彼がパフォーマンスが悪いと認識しているものの重みで最近スナップし、最後の4つの PPV マッチのうちの2勝を獲得しました。イブ・テイラーと同じです。私。私は4のためにゼロです。去年のゴールドラッシュ以来、メジャーショーの試合には勝っていません。他のアクティブなパフォーマーは、そのような不運を持っていません, まだ私は文句を言わない.私はスナップしません。落ち着きを失いません。私はそれが私ができるすべてであるので、前進し続けます。
“I don’t think a man like Xander has that kind of drive; in fact, not many people in WZCW do. All the active hall of famers have maintained some level of consistency, even when they do go on losing streaks. Titus’ only recent major loss was at Kingdom Come. Mikey Stormrage recently became the companies first duel champion. Matt Tastic, who recently snapped under the weight of what he perceives to be poor performance, won two of his last four PPV matches. Same with Eve Taylor. Me? I’m zero for four. I haven’t won a match on a major show since Gold Rush of last year. No other active performer has had that kind of bad luck, yet I don’t complain. I don’t snap. I don’t lose my composure. I keep moving forward, because that’s all I can do.”
This time Sasuke howled with laughter, so much so that Kagura shot him an annoyed look.
“You’re a glutton for punishment, kid. A true masochist, but at least no one can call you a quitter.”
She scoffed,
「マゾ何も、私は失うことを嫌います。私が短くなるたびに私を燃やします。特に私が知っているとき、私は私の神いまいましい最も困難を試みた。私は失敗の冷たいグリップに対して自分自身を覚悟してきました, もし私が柔らかくなった場合, 私はすでに終了しているだろう.私を嫌いな人がたくさんいるので、私はあまり面白くない。私は退屈な、そして、ブランドとして出くわします。
“Masochist nothing, I hate losing. It burns me up inside every time I come up short. Especially when I know I’ve tried my god damn hardest. I’ve steeled myself against the cold grip of failure, because if I was soft, I would have quit already. There’s a lot of people that don’t like me because I’m not funny enough. I come across as boring, and bland.”
「まあ、あの人たちと地獄に! she spat.
“Well to hell with those people!”
「私は私の袖に私の心を着用し、私は誰を欺くしようとしません。私は嘘つきと詐欺師でいっぱいの海に閉じ込められた本物の人です。私はあなたとデリックの外の他の人と関連付けようとしましたが、それは働いたことがありません。
“I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I don’t try to deceive anyone. I’m a genuine person trapped in a sea filled with liars and con artists. I’ve tried to associate with others outside of you and Derrick, and it’s never worked.”
She sighed,
「私はこれを誰にも言ったことがない、サスケ、デリックですらないが、私はそんなにみんな嫌いだ。ファンも。彼らは、この世界に存在する最も不誠実人々の一部ですが、私は大声でそのようなことを言うことはありません。私は深いダウンしたい, 私はよりザンダーのようになることができること, しかし、最終的に彼はレンガの壁にヒットするつもりだと、彼はおそらく再び終了しているだろう.私はそこにいたので、それがどんな感じなのか知っています。私は忍耐を持っているので、私が我慢しなければならないどのように多くのでたらめを、文句を言わないように、終了しないことを決定しました。レスリングについての楽しい部分は、登りです。それはあなたがあなたのパーチをノックされる前にどこまで行くことができるか見ています。私はあなたに夢中に聞こえる必要がありますね。
“I’ve never told anyone this, Sasuke, not even Derrick, but I hate everyone so much. The fans too. They are some of the most disingenuous people that exist in this world, but I don’t say things like that out loud. I wish deep down, that I could be more like Xander, but eventually he’s going to hit a brick wall and he’s probably going quit again. I’ve been there, so I know what that feels like. I made the decision not to quit, to not complain, no matter how much bullshit I have to put up with, because I have patience. The fun part about wrestling is the climb. It’s seeing how far you can go before being knocked off your perch. I must sound crazy to you, don’t I?”
Sasuke shook his head,
“Not at all. I think your biggest problem, is that you need to have more confidence in yourself. Pride is one thing, but every time I’ve seen you fail, you always come back with that hollow look on your face, like you expected to fail. Don’t expect to fail. If you expect to fail all the time, then no one’s gonna take you seriously. You want the powers-that-be to take you seriously, then get mad, get motivated, vow to rip Xander apart, and make him tap out like the bitch that he is. You’re a kind hearted person, Kagura. No one can take that away from you, but I’ve been trying to get you to develop a killer instinct since the day I met you. Not an artificial one, like that book gave you, but something gritty, raw, and real. You say you think wrestling is fun because of the climb? You say you hate the people in the industry for being filled with a bunch of two-timing bastards, and fans that can’t make up their minds? I think you’re on the right track. Just remember one thing, a storm is coming. After Gold Rush, whether you win or not, there’s gonna come a tidal wave that will wipe everything out. If you want to get washed away, then keep being the boring and bland Kagura that you’ve always been.”
For moment, she said nothing. She reached up, and wiped at her nose, half because of the cold, and half because a dam had finally broke inside of her. He couldn’t see it, but a tear had formed in the corner of her eye.
「あなたもサスケ? she said, quietly.
Without saying another word, she continued her run. Sasuke sighed, watching her jog ahead. That had been harsh, but it was the truth.
---
A Few Days Later…
Kagura sat, held up in her hotel room. She was trying not to stew over her advocates words. They stung. Instead, to take her mind off that, she decided to sit down and watch the taping of Ascension. She left for D.C. right after Meltdown ended, and never watched it. Her match with Xander would decide the future #1 contender, but the feud between Titus and King Mussel would decide the next champion. Flex had come a long way in recent months, to the point where he had surpassed all her expectations. He proved a lot of people wrong at
R-Awakening. Titus continued to shine as a beacon of inspiration, managing to reinvent himself yet again. This time, the hall of famer looked unstoppable. Flex was slipping, she could see that. He surrounded himself with a small army, and it was all amounting to peanuts. If she were a betting woman, then her chips were on Titus to walk away as the next world champion.
What would that mean for her, if she won Gold Rush? She and Titus had rumbled before. She threw everything she had at ending the EurAvison era. Even though she came up short, she managed to get under Titus’ skin enough to make him curse the ground that she walked on. Here, a master manipulator, and a genius at breaking down his opponents could only curse her existence. If they fought again, there would be no accusations of sexism. No one would accuse that man of being afraid of her, not after taking on three men, assuming King Mussel fell at his hands. What would he say to try and analyze her? What could he say? She was still the same person. No change. No development. Nothing. Maybe that was a good thing. If Titus was a defending champion, then surely an opponent like her was what he would want. Xander was a loose cannon, obsessed with winning the title no matter what. Kagura stopped then, and asked herself that same question.
‘No matter what?’
She wasn’t obsessed with winning, but she was obsessed with succeeding. There was a difference between the two. Winning had brought her this far, to the finals of the Gold Rush tournament, but her success hinged on whether or not she could beat Xander. So far, they were tied in victories. It felt so good to drop that asshole down to the mat, and pin his shoulders to the canvas for the three count. That made them even, at least heading into
Gold Rush. She watched the end of the Ascension tape, as King Mussel and his cronies attacked Titus. The security managed to reestablish some order, but the hall of famer managed to get in one last shot, cutting the King’s face with a Christmas ornament. She laughed at that. Titus never failed to give the people what they wanted to see. She sighed, as she turned off the TV.
‘Maybe in the end, Xander and I aren’t so different after all. Different opinions, and a different approach, but our goals are the same. Sasuke’s right, I am dull and boring.’
She buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t even summon the strength to raise her head, lest she accidently caught a glimpse of her pathetic reflection in the TV. She was a fool. A god damn fucking fool.
No!
Didn’t she vow on Meltdown to give this tournament her best shot? Win or lose, something was going to change soon. Titus or Flex; it didn’t matter. One had the skill to break his opponent down with his cunning, the other with his raw power, and now Flex had numbers on his side. What did she have, other than the will to win? Nothing. Xander had that in spades too. So how could she convince the powers-that-be that she was more deserving to be #1 contender? She honestly didn’t have that answer. Something deep inside of her was beginning to well up. For the first time, she began to feel angry. Not frustration, but genuine anger. Was this how Xander felt the moment he decided to change? Maybe, but these emotions didn’t appear to be quite the same.
「自由になりたい!私はちょうど私になりたい!
“I want to be free! I just want to be me!”
She screamed. All she had done since Lethal Lottery was worry about her image, and the money she was making. She worried about making new allies, and selling more and more merchandise. She worried about her position on the card, and playing politics to keep herself on the upper card. She immersed herself in training, stewed over every loss, obsessed over ever victory, tried to cut down every opponent, and pointed out their flaws, all in an attempt to sell herself as the superior performer. She was done with it all. She stood and threw the remote against the wall as hard as she could, shattering it into pieces. In her head, she began to rage.
‘Xander, you’re a poser. You have no idea what failure is. You have no idea what despair is. You call me loser because I lost the world title so quickly, but at least I’ve been there. My name’s in the history book as a former world champion. You’ll never get to the top of the mountain. Even if you do managed to beat me, Titus and Flex are going to eat you alive. If I’m a loser, then you’re a quitter. As soon as you face any type of real pressure, face any type of real obstacle, you give up and walk away. I can see your future now “Xander - number one contender - fights for world title at next major show - fails - quits the company the very next day.” Why do even try so hard? You won’t even be around when this company finally shuts its doors. You’re a coward that doesn’t even deserve to share the same ring as me. People like you, are a cancer to this industry. If you win at Gold Rush, I hope you choke on that victory, and if you lose…’
「出て行け!私の神の頭から出て、私を嘲笑するのをやめるんだ!
“Get out! Just get out of my god damn head, and stop mocking me!”
Kagura couldn’t predict the outcome of Gold Rush, but she knew one thing was for sure. She was going to beat the holy hell out of Xander. This wasn’t about winning or losing anymore. This was about validation, about finding a new purpose, and about awakening a new identity.
It was finally time to have some fun.
