Girl suing parents for college tuition and child support

[NegativeFeedback]

Here's the main link for the whole article, but I'll try to summarize it.

A couple gave their 17-year-old daughter an ultimatum to either dump her boyfriend or move out of the house. She decided to leave saying she could take care of herself. She apparently changed her mind as she's now suing her parents for child support, high school tuition and college tuition.

She turned 18 two days after moving in with a close friend. Her parents stopped paying her private school tuition and stopped supporting her in any way due to her not wanting to "live by their rules". Aside from her dumping her bf, she has also broken rules about chores and curfews.

Now, she has told them that she wants to move back in and follow all the rules, but her dad made it clear in a public email that he will not allow her to move back in if she didn't dump her boyfriend. (No one has yet to publicize what exactly is so bad about the guy).

Because the boyfriend-situation has been a dealbreaker, she is now suing her parents for 674 a month. Her friend's dad is representing her. He has tried calling her father to settle this out of court, but the dad won't budge.

As part of this lawsuit, the girl has made some outrageous allegations. She has said that her mother's verbal abuse contributed to her eating disorder, and that her father has inappropriately kissed her while saying she was "more than just a daughter" to her. The judge however ordered a 2nd hearing after becoming irate after hearing a voice message the girl left her mom saying she wants to "shit on her face".

Now, the girl seems to be a complete and total spoiled brat who has wasted their money to go partying and get drunk. However, one time when she got drunk, the school had her contact her parents. They did not know they were on speaker, so once she told them she was drunk, they started shouting obscenities and threats at her. The school administrators immediately intervened.

I think this is a really complicated situation. Obviously, the girl is a horrible human being, but some of that has to do with some bad parenting. I definitely don't think she is entitled to child support, but I do feel that the parents have been pretty careless with how they handled her moving out. Not only have they refused to let her back in, but they never even entertained the idea of contacting the people she was living with.

I 100% think the parents should be ordered to pay off the outstanding debt for high school tuition. That's a contract they didn't fulfill, despite them trying to "get out of the contract" when she moved out of the house. If you wanted to spoil your kids with private school, you can't just get out of it whenever you feel like it.

But I am much more torn on the child support allegation. There are testimonies about the abuse this kid has received. The school has been firmly behind her, and the people she is living with vouch for her being a good kid. There is obviously something going on in that household.

So the questions are:
• Does she deserve to get paid child support and college tuition?
• If your answer is no, what makes this case any different from the hundreds of cases where fathers have been forced to pay child support for spoiled brats that can't stand them???
• Who do you think is more in the wrong, the spoiled girl with deep issues, or the parents who raised her?

 

[Hyorinmaru]

This is ******ed. If she was still under 18 I might be able to see the validity in this lawsuit but she turned 18 two days later.

Her parents have no legal reason to take care of her anymore so they are completely in the right on this. If she wants back in to suckle on the parental tit they told her what she needs to do.

Now my stand may change once why they want her to dump her boyfriend comes to light but as it stands with the information we have this is ridiculous.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

I was going to make a thread about this myself but I've had some internet connectivity issues the past day or so.

I saw this on CNN a few days ago and I wish I could say that this story surprised me, but it's a commentary on how far downhill so many kids seem to be heading.

Based simply on what I've read & heard about this, the girl comes off as nothing more than an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, inconsiderate brat who believes she's entitled to the world. The incident in which her parents started screaming obscenities over a speaker phone is unfortunate. It's awful whenever a parent goes off on any kid in that way, no doubt about it. However, at the same time, it sounds like the girl going out and getting drunk off her ass is a common happening that the parents have had to deal with time after time. Everybody has a breaking point, so it's possible that all the stress and frustrations they've been through simply caused them to snap in that situation. Everyone loses their tempers sometimes and says things they later regret.

As far as the parenting of these two, it's obviously something to think about. While it's quite common for kids with spoiled attitudes to have been made so by overly permissive parents, I've run across a few that've developed such a personality due to influence of friends and the media. If the parents ultimately spoiled this girl to the point in which she's become this entitled, then it's harder to be sympathetic towards them, but not impossible. Lots of parents and grandparents do overindulge their kids & grandkids, but I've heard of very few instances in regards to this level of entitlement.

The parents MAY have ultimately been the root of their own problem in this case if they did spoil the girl shit ass rotten her whole life without any real means of discipline or enforcement. If that's how it happened, then it's definitely hard to lay all of this simply on their daughter's shoulders. Still, while it sounds like this girl is very immature, she has to shoulder her share. Even at 17 years of age, the vast majority of us aren't remotely this immature or spoiled to go down the road she's gone. Even when I was 17, there was always that common sense of "okay, this is definitely going too far and its time to reel it back" in my head.

As far as these allegations towards her mother's verbal abuse and sexual molestation from her father, I've got to see some evidence of this before I believe it. The problem, however, is that even if there's no real evidence to back up the claim, the claim itself can be damaging. After all, the old adage of "innocent until proven guilty" went out of style....well, in all honesty, it's probably never really been in style. If you're accused of sexual molestation, just the accusation can cause people to view you in a totally different light. Even if you're found innocent of it or there's no credible proof, there are people who'll only remember and care that you were accused of it. Another depressing sign of the times is that such allegations have become quite common. In divorces, for instance, it's become common for a wife to accuse her husband of sexual abuse as a means of jacking up the alimony, child support, divorce settlement or just out of pure spite. I've heard it called the Silver Bullet strategy.

It's a mess really and it's unfortunate for this family. I have a suspicion that this other family, the one she's been staying with, has only served to make this all the more worse.

 

[Mustang Sally]

The parents MAY have ultimately been the root of their own problem in this case if they did spoil the girl shit ass rotten her whole life without any real means of discipline or enforcement. If that's how it happened, then it's definitely hard to lay all of this simply on their daughter's shoulders

In these situations, the "experts" always want to analyze (and often over-analyze) the dynamics and start pointing to the sociological, psychological and philosophical implications of explaining why people are as they are.

Personally, I like to simplify it and break it all down to varying degrees of people saying to others: "Do everything the way I want it done.....and jeepers......things will be just fine!"

In this case, the daughter is surely saying this, and the parents are too, to some extent.

How many times did we as teenagers figure we could manage our own lives perfectly well, free of parental guidance? I know I did, and sometimes resented the "interference" of my parents. It's only when we get older that we realize that, as kids, we were still incapable of looking at the big picture; we saw only the one aspect of life we were determined to have, ignoring other factors that we often never knew existed.....although our parents did.

In this case, the girl wants to have her cake and eat it, too. She moved out because she "knew" she could run her own life.....and now has decided she is entitled to that freedom plus the financial support of her parents.

You see the implications, right? All she's looking for is money.....she isn't seeking other things of value that parents can impart to children.....and the only reason she's offering to move home is to get herself taken care of financially while still keeping the boyfriend and doing (presumably) whatever else she wants to do, but if the parents were compelled to pay her way while she lives outside their influence, that would be fine & dandy with her.

While it seems harsh to deny the daughter the ability to return home, I don't blame the parents. True, we don't know how the parents raised her, but if it's being said what a fantastic kid she is, don't the parents get credit for some of that?

I say she can't have it both ways. If she wants the financial support, she needs to live at home and function under her parents' rules. If she won't do that, she can continue to live on her own.....as she chose to in the first place.

It's a tough old world, isn't it?

 

[Loveless]

If I look at this from a personal level, I'm on the side of a the girl. Good parents don't blackmail, bully, they don't abuse their children over the phone or cut them off for doing things that any normal teenager does. Yes she has an attitude problem, but I'd put that down to her parents being *****.
Now on a purely legal level, what is this girl entitled to and what are the parents obligated to pay for? I can't say I know the US law on this but regarding her education, the parents signed the contract and it's up to them to pay it.

On an ethical level, I'd say they should take care of their child. Moreso, they should want to and the fact that they don't, should tell you what kind of people they are. It's more important for them to get their own way, than it is for their daughter to be secure.

 

[NegativeFeedback]

Based simply on what I've read & heard about this, the girl comes off as nothing more than an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, inconsiderate brat who believes she's entitled to the world.

That may be true, but according to the school and the people she's living with, she is a very mature straight A-student who gets along with everybody and hardly ever causes any problems. Going out to party and getting drunk are obviously red flags, but let's be realistic, even the most honorable and mature leaders of this world go out and get drunk from time to time.

My main issue is this "rules of the house" problem. At first glance, it seems like the spoiled brat is just disobedient. But when you read her dad's email, it's very clear that he doesn't care about anything except the boyfriend. He acknowledges that she wants to come home and that she wants to follow all the rules, but he doesn't let her back in if she stays with her boyfriend.

The parents are trying to save face to make this all about "house rules". But it's obviously total b.s. when the dad makes it clear that no matter how obedient she is, if she stays with her boyfriend, he isn't letting her back in.

Now, the girl isn't innocent either. She has never accused the father of molestation, but she says he put his hand around her, kissed inappropriately and said "you are more than a daughter to me". All of these accusations, while true, are probably grossly taken out of context.

She also accuses her father of getting her drunk on many occasions, including waking her up in the middle of the night to play Beer Pong. If this is true, can you honestly blame her for her drinking habits??? She moved out when she was 17, which means that her father must have been promoting underage drinking for years.

These are just BAD parents.
• Spoiled her rotten
• Promoted her drinking habit
• Verbally abused her
• Helped her develop an eating disorder
• Kicked her out of the house at 17 years old
• Breached their contract with the school and stopped paying tuition
• Didn't contact the people their daughter was staying with, not even to know if she was okay

To say the phone situation was "unfortunate" is an understatement. The parents probably wouldn't have spoken like that if they knew they were being listened to. Those people might have treated her like that every day.

Not only are they really bad parents, but they probably raised her to be a very disrespectful and entitled daughter. However, it seems like she has the rest of her life in order. Her friends' parents think she is perfect, the school thinks she is outstanding, and the rest of her peers are behind her.

There is plenty of testimony to say this kid is a good kid, and there is plenty of testimony to say those parents are assholes. There has literally been no one to vouch for the parents' claims, although the disgusting message she left them probably does more damage to her credibility than any testimony would have.

Now the big question is, does ANY OF THAT warrant a lawsuit?

I say probably not. It's a horrible situation, but she's probably better off getting government-sponsored financial aid and moving on with her life.

I repeat though, I do think the parents need to pay off her High School debt though. But that's just a basic breach of contract, and has nothing to do with her being entitled to their financial support.

 

[LSN80]

m

I was going to make a thread about this myself but I've had some internet connectivity issues the past day or so.

Same here, but I have little excuse. I was busy immersing myself in the WWE network.

As for the situation at hand, it's really not a complicated one, to be honest. As seems to be the case with many kids in her generation, she has a sense of entitlement. In other words, she believes her parents owe her something simply for being in existence as their daughter. "I was this wonderful gift to you, so now, it's time you pony up in exchange."

I find myself a bit concerned when I hear such things as the parents screaming obscenities at their daughter when they believed no one else could hear them. I feel fortunate- and this ties in to the thread I made about things we're all thankful for to our parents about- because my parents didn't swear in our home, period. The worst I heard from my mom or dad was damn, so I feel pretty fortunate. So when a parent goes off on a child in this manner, it's a concern to me, without question. But this doesn't seem like a one-off occurrence with the daughter, either, it seems like a typical ordeal for the family. The parents have likely been long since frustrated with their petulant daughter, and getting a call from the school that she had been picked up for being drunk, seemingly at school or at a school event, would be the straw that broke the camel's back, essentially. If this is a common occurrence, however, it's easy to see how the girl turned out the way she did. And then, once moving out, she insists her parents pay fees such as child support? Last I checked, she's eighteen, making her an adult.

The allegations made by the girl regarding her family, specifically the "gross emotional and physical abuse", are eyebrow raising, but nothing more. If they had been such a problem in the past, why hadn't the girl sought out help from other friends and/or family in the past? When you leave messages such as this for your mother:

Hi mom just to let you know you're a real f**king winner aren't you you think you're so cool and you think you caught me throwing up in the bathroom after eating an egg frittatta, yeah sorry that you have problems now and you need to harp on mine because i didn't and i actually took a s*** which i really just wanna s*** all over your face right now because it looks like that anyway, anyway i f***ing hate you and um I've written you off so don't talk to me, don't do anything I'm blocking you from just about everything, have a nice life, bye mom'

This was left by the daughter to the mother in last July, far before the Homecoming incident. Obviously, the issues have run deep, but the girl has been an issue with regards to her parents and her sister's, and for quite some time. There are few houses that I know of where children say such things to their parents, and in the households where it has happened, counseling has been involved. So, I suppose that is where I fault the parents. It wasn't until after the daughter moved out that the parents made counseling part of a mandate for moving back in. To continue with plenty of the activities she's been involved in, counseling should have been mandatory some time ago. It's a positive that they've made it mandatory now, but it's somewhat neglectful that it wasn't before.

In doing counseling myself, I've seen parents whose lies and ability to sell it have rivaled Pacino himself, but the parents in this situation look like honest, genuinely concerned parents. As was evident in the letter that they sent her, they simply have a list of rules they need her to follow if she is to live with them. Don't want to follow them? No problem, she's an adult. A very young, immature one, but nevertheless, as an adult, the decision of where she lives and what she does are both in her hands.

I have a hard time buying many of the allegations regarding her parents. Maybe her dad does drink a lot, and he's given her alcohol. Maybe her mother, when pushed too hard, has called her daughter "fat" from time to time. But no parent is perfect, and it's important to keep in mind that she has two younger sister's as well. Sisters who look up to her, sisters whom are influenced by her behavior. Should her behavior be tolerated, or worse, encouraged by her parents with showing of indifference, it's only a matter of time before her sisters begin to act similarly, which creates a nightmare situation for the parents.

That may be true, but according to the school and the people she's living with, she is a very mature straight A-student who gets along with everybody and hardly ever causes any problems. Going out to party and getting drunk are obviously red flags, but let's be realistic, even the most honorable and mature leaders of this world go out and get drunk from time to time.

The school would only know of her behavior during the hours of 8-3, which is all well and good, but anyone can play the "good girl" if they care about getting into college. You can be a spoiled, disrespectful girl who parties a lot but also cares about her education. I was that way through most of my post-graduate studies(a heavy drinker) yet I cared very much about both my academics and my job, as well as how people saw me. And let's face it: The girl can't go home at this time, so of course she will be on her best behavior at her friend's house. Where would she go otherwise?

My main issue is this "rules of the house" problem. At first glance, it seems like the spoiled brat is just disobedient. But when you read her dad's email, it's very clear that he doesn't care about anything except the boyfriend. He acknowledges that she wants to come home and that she wants to follow all the rules, but he doesn't let her back in if she stays with her boyfriend.

I'd glance again, but even if what you're saying is correct, that's his right as her father. Obviously, he looks at him as a source of extra turmoil who has caused trouble or been a poor influence, and he doesn't want it to continue. Since he doesn't want it to continue, he doesn't want the relationship to continue either.

But in carefully reading the letter, the following were also noted as mandatory:

-The girl attends counseling
- Treating her mother with respect. The dad called it a bedrock principle, one that if there was no agreement to change, there was no use in even discussing it further. This was before he addressed the boyfriend issue.
-She works on repairing the relationship with her sister's, as the house has been tension free and argument free in her absence.

The parents are trying to save face to make this all about "house rules". But it's obviously total b.s. when the dad makes it clear that no matter how obedient she is, if she stays with her boyfriend, he isn't letting her back in.

The first one he listed as "mandatory" was that she respect her mother, and if she didn't, there was no point in discussing further. Again, this was before he addressed the boyfriend issue.

And I don't know about you, but if I was being emotionally abused by my mother, sexually and emotionally abused by my father, I wouldn't want to come home at all. Yet, she does. Something is wrong there, and it's with the daughter.

Now, the girl isn't innocent either. She has never accused the father of molestation, but she says he put his hand around her, kissed inappropriately and said "you are more than a daughter to me". All of these accusations, while true, are probably grossly taken out of context.

How do you know them to be true? Were you present, or were there witnesses? Again, the fact that she has shown a desire to come back home discredits these accounts, because they are molestation, and a bright, intelligent, straight-A student wouldn't want to come home to that.

Again, there's been no proof, no one to back her stories up. She wants to come home? Then she's likely lying about the stories as well.

She also accuses her father of getting her drunk on many occasions, including waking her up in the middle of the night to play Beer Pong. If this is true, can you honestly blame her for her drinking habits??? She moved out when she was 17, which means that her father must have been promoting underage drinking for years.

Again, where's the proof? It's from the mouth of a girl who is likely a liar, and without backup from a sister, mom, anything, she lacks credibility.

• Spoiled her rotten
• Promoted her drinking habit
• Verbally abused her
• Helped her develop an eating disorder

There's no proof of any of these, it's a "he said, she said" argument. In those cases, I side with the people with more credibility. That's the parents.

• Kicked her out of the house at 17 years old

No, she ran away. She didn't want to follow their rules, go to counseling, and stop seeing a boy who was obviously a bad influence. So she went and stayed with a friend, then demanded they still pay for all of her stuff.

• Breached their contract with the school and stopped paying tuition

She's an adult now. She no longer lives with them, a choice she made. When they told her the rules for her return, her response was:

"Well, if I can't see him, I'm not coming home."

That's the response of a girl with an attitude and a behavioral problem. And again, it's her choice not to return home, where her parents were providing for her. Why should they provide for her elsewhere? Heck, should they be providing the attorney fees to pay the lawyer who is suing them?

• Didn't contact the people their daughter was staying with, not even to know if she was okay

She made it clear she wanted nothing to do with them, and the people she is staying with are paying for her to sue them. I wouldn't want to talk to them either. They have attempted, and maintained, email correspondence with her. That's more important than talking to the family who is paying to sue them.

To say the phone situation was "unfortunate" is an understatement. The parents probably wouldn't have spoken like that if they knew they were being listened to. Those people might have treated her like that every day.

They were angry, likely at their breaking point. They've provided for this girl for over 18 years, and she makes threats, is incredibly disrespectful, and put herself in a situation where she could have been arrested, and since it was on school grounds, suspended as well. Maybe they were drinking themselves, they were in Vegas. I, and no one else, is claiming them to be perfect parents. They likely made a lot of mistakes, as most parents do with their eldest child. I'm an eldest, I know my parents did with I and my twin sister.

It doesn't make them bad parents, however. In fact, the judge, Peter Boogard, had this to say about the daughter, and the expletive laden rant she went on with regards to her mother:

"Have you ever in your experience seen such gross disrespect for a parent? It's the proverbial F You."

The judge, who knows an awful lot more about the case then you and I, is siding with the parents. He's saying that, for now, they don't have to pay tuition costs, nor "support".

What makes you right and he wrong?

Not only are they really bad parents, but they probably raised her to be a very disrespectful and entitled daughter. However, it seems like she has the rest of her life in order. Her friends' parents think she is perfect, the school thinks she is outstanding, and the rest of her peers are behind her.

The school has never said that she is outstanding, and no peers save the daughter of the family she is living with has been "behind her." As for the family she's living with? How would you expect her to behave, like the cretin she was at her parents? Unlike her folks, before she ran away, her parents had to provide for her until she did run away because she didn't like the rules. If she acted out there, where she's a guest, they could throw her out, leaving her homeless.

Not hard to see why she's acted like the perfect little girl.

There is plenty of testimony to say this kid is a good kid, and there is plenty of testimony to say those parents are assholes. There has literally been no one to vouch for the parents' claims,

You mean, no one to vouch for the daughter's claims. No one has come forward with testimony that these parents, other then what appears an isolated incident, are bad ones.

although the disgusting message she left them probably does more damage to her credibility than any testimony would have.

She never had any credibility to begin with.

Now the big question is, does ANY OF THAT warrant a lawsuit?

No, but like the petulant little child that she is, she filed anyway, costing the poor, naive family that she's living with time and money.

 

[Trill Co$by]

Technically speaking, 17 year old teenagers are considered adults around many states... just not allowed to vote, smoke, or drink. But in terms of everything else, they're adults. And even then, once that girl decided to move out, she became an emancipated minor which meant she was on her own. Her parents gave her a choice, and she took the wrong one. I'm pretty sure her tuition was paid up until that point, so if she was adult enough to move out, then she's adult enough to pay her own bills.

I get that parents should try and give their children the best future possible, but she also shouldn't have tried to bite off more than she could chew. There's a reason why "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" is one of the oldest sayings in the book of old sayings.

 

[NegativeFeedback]

I get that parents should try and give their children the best future possible, but she also shouldn't have tried to bite off more than she could chew. There's a reason why "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" is one of the oldest sayings in the book of old sayings.

That's all true, and while legally, she doesn't have any claim to her parents' money, I still think it's an interesting discussion.

Had she left with her mother to another home, the courts wouldn't have second thoughts before granting her child support, regardless of how awful a person she is. It's things like that which make me reflect on her situation. I still don't think she should get anything though.

I think the judge was being a total dumbass when he started saying that ruling in her favor sets a precedent for children to sue for X-Boxes. She's obviously suing for her constitutional right to an education, not for an X-Box. She'd be better off getting full emancipation and registering for FAFSA though.

She's getting her tuition no matter what, whether it's her parents or taxpayers that end up paying the bill.

 

[LSN80]

\

Had she left with her mother to another home, the courts wouldn't have second thoughts before granting her child support.

Think this one through. There are several flaws in your logic here.

1, Mom makes money, has a high paying job. Why would child support be needed here?

2. The daughter wouldn't get a cent even if mom had nothing, the child support would go to the parent, not the child. In any case, the daughter wouldn't be getting a dime. Mom would, if it was granted.

I think the judge was being a total dumbass when he started saying that ruling in her favor sets a precedent for children to sue for X-Boxes. She's obviously suing for her constitutional right to an education, not for an X-Box. She'd be better off getting full emancipation and registering for FAFSA though.

That's not what she's "obviously doing." Did you actually read the article, or are you making it up as you go along? She is suing for child support, which is incidental to her education. No connection. She could buy an X-Box or 5 with the money she was asking for, so it does set a dangerous precedent.

Here it is: If I run away from home because I don't like my parents rules, it doesn't matter. I can still get whatever I want from them if I sue.

That is a dangerous precedent, the judge is 100% right.

She's getting her tuition no matter what, whether it's her parents or taxpayers that end up paying the bill.

So are hundreds of thousands of teenagers across the U.S.. The difference is those kids don't think that, regardless of their behavior, they deserve privvate school no matter up. Let her finish up at public school if she can't follow her parents rules. Private school was a luxury for her, not a right.

And if she can't conform to that, she can always get her G.E.D.