Gay Adoption

[HBK-aholic]

There's been a news story recently by 2 grandparents who have been so against having a gay couple adopt their grandchildren they're fighting it in court - with a millionaire paying all costs. Has it really come to this? Children being up for adoption quite obviously means there's no one in the family who are able to take care of them, so I fail to see the problem in letting 2 people who will clearly love the child to pieces look after them. What should sexual orientation matter at all?

The bullshit with "A child needs a mother and a father" shouldn't even come into it. Should we stop single parent families now? I've never known my father, should I not be allowed with my mum because I don't have a balance of gender? Love and care is what the child needs, sexual orientation means nothing, and should never get in the way of providing a safe environment for children from an unstable background.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

First off set aside the fact that I am gay, even if I wasn't I think I still would be very sad about this. Not allowing gay couples do adopt just because they are gay just doesn't seem right to me. Being gay isn't a negative thing but this "law" is infact making it.

One of my good friend grew up with gay male parents. He had a wonderful, loving childhood that was even better than mine(and I had a mother and a father)and he ended up becoming a normal, heterosexual, member of society. Gay people can be just as good parents as straight people, and while it would be nice to have a mother and father, people can still become law abiding, upstanding citizens without have one or another.

So basically people are saying that kids are better off in foster card or a orphanage than living with a gay couple, who will love them unconditional and raise them to be a good person? This thing doesn't make sence, and just makes the world seem even more heartless and ignorant, in my opinion.

 

[Tastycles]

Jesus Christ, this thing is ridiculous.

1) To say that gay people offer a less loving home is ******ed. This is literally the only shot those people will ever have to have children, so they are hardly going to go through all of this turmoil only to be bad parents are they.

2) Gay people do not have gay kids. The worst thing about it is that we have to defend that viewpoint. Even if it were true, who gives a fuck? As far as I can see gay people have the exact same spread of moral beleifs and general conributions to society as anybody else.

3) My brother never knew his dad either, (He's my half brother for all of you keen observers), and he never met my dad until he was in secondary school. Funnily enough, the lack of a paternal figure has not made him into a bad father or person. I have grown up without a mother, but again that hasn't stopped me from being able to communicate with women.

4) The Daily Mail have proved their absolute lack of moral fibre by presenting the gay men in question as being rent boys.

5) Anyone who has grown up with parents that are relatively old will know that it is not the best thing. These grandparents are 50 years older than the children. There is a very real possibility that they will die during the childhood of the youngsters which means more aggrovation for the child.

6) If they were good parents themselves, their daughter wouldn't be a smackhead who had her kids taken off her.

7) Who the fuck does the millionaire think he is?

8) In a point you didn't mention, this whole thing was brokered by the Catholic Church. Hypocrites. Love thy fellow man. As long as it isn't actually a man.

 

[Pimpin]

WTF. This shit is ridiculous.

1. Since when the hell are gay couples bad parents. Like Tastycles said they are hardly gonna go through all of turmoil only to be bad parents.

2. Gay people do not have gay kids. I'm pretty sure there are kids out there who live with a gay couple & turned out to be a normal, straight, member of society.

3. If the grandparents of these children were good parents at all then their daughter wouldn't have been a dumb bitch who had her kids taken away from her.

4. Who in the blue fucking hell does this millionaire mother fucker thinks he is. The millionaire should mind his own fucking business or get shot or something instead of interfering in something that clearly doesn't concern him at all.

5. A very good friend of mine & his husband have an adopted son & he has turned out to be straight & is clearly a good person.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

This is wrong. People should be allowed to be happy. No matter of race, sexual orientation or any other determining factor. If a gay couple wants to have a kid. Then they should e allowed to. Especially if they are going to take care of it and love it. It's basically taking away a humans right to be happy. Which I have always felt to be wrong. Now I can see if they wouldnt take care of it. But if they want the damn kid so badly then of course they are going to care of it. This is stupid. End of story.

 

[Danmen001]

*I in no way, intend to offend. If I do, I apolagize in advance.*​

I don't agree with the lengths the grandparents went to stop it, but...

What about what the kid goes through, is it fair on him? Depending on the situation of the household, of course. If other kids found out, the child of the couple would be terribly bullied. Kids can be that way, especially if people are different.

Please don't get me wrong, I think they should be able to have children of their own. There's just the case of the scrutiny that the kids would go through, which makes me think it would be unfair on them.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

*I in no way, intend to offend. If I do, I apolagize in advance.*​

I don't agree with the lengths the grandparents went to stop it, but...

What about what the kid goes through, is it fair on him? Depending on the situation of the household, of course. If other kids found out, the child of the couple would be terribly bullied. Kids can be that way, especially if people are different.

Please don't get me wrong, I think they should be able to have children of their own. There's just the case of the scrutiny that the kids would go through, which makes me think it would be unfair on them.

Great point! This is true, the kids may experience bullying because of their parents being gay. It just shows the way alot of people think. It shouldn't matter to the other kids that little "johnny" has two fathers or whatever but it does. This is what is wrong with the world I think, that kids are taught that it is bad to be gay. If parents raised their kids to accept everyone then this wouldn't even be an issue.

But alas it is and will always be this way I think. But really kid's get bullied for so many reasons and I think as long as the kid understands their is nothing wrong and along as the parents nuture their child to be able to be ok with the idea then the kids will turn out fine. My friend grew up with two fathers and unfourtently he was bullied some as a child. It bothered him at first but he learned to understand that it was just ignorance and people not understanding so he didn't let it effect him.

But I also think as long as society grows more towards accepting towards homosexuals like it is slowly doing this won't even be an issue. And while it sucks to be bullied for whatever reason, I think a healthy stable home kind of stabilizes the children.

 

[HBK-aholic]

*I in no way, intend to offend. If I do, I apolagize in advance.*​

I don't agree with the lengths the grandparents went to stop it, but...

What about what the kid goes through, is it fair on him? Depending on the situation of the household, of course. If other kids found out, the child of the couple would be terribly bullied. Kids can be that way, especially if people are different.

Please don't get me wrong, I think they should be able to have children of their own. There's just the case of the scrutiny that the kids would go through, which makes me think it would be unfair on them.

Well we better make sure none of our children need glasses, or have red hair, because they're also key ways to be bullied. Let's stop them having braces because we don't want them to be bullied in schools. And we definately better regulate names, because children get bullied for them all the time. My point being, we shouldn't be able to stop a child being happy with a family because of what some ignorant assholes might say.

 

[Danmen001]

Well we better make sure none of our children need glasses, or have red hair, because they're also key ways to be bullied.

Ginger's are good people. And they serve as an excellent source of warmth.

I see you like sarcasm. Allow me:

Let's stop them having braces because we don't want them to be bullied in schools. And we definately better regulate names, because children get bullied for them all the time. My point being, we shouldn't be able to stop a child being happy with a family because of what some ignorant assholes might say.

A child will be happy being bullies by other kids for having gay parents.
A child will be happy turning out differently than other kids.
A child will be happy when he inevitably has to admit he doesn't have normal parents.

My point, is that wwhat good would it do for a kid to be different. If we are thinking of the kids here, as you say, then why would he want to be different?

Again, I do my best to not offend anyone, and whilst I'm not against it under "conditions", children would want to be as regular as possible. I weap for the fact kids would bully the child of a gay couple though. But they would, and that's the problem.

It's ok Becca, we can still be friends .

 

[HBK-aholic]

No, you don't see my point. There are bullies in the world. You seem to be under the impression we should stop anything that could possibly cause a child to be diferent, as opposed to deal with those that have the problem in the first place - those being the bullies. All Children will never be the same, there will be differences. But why should we work to change differences when they could be a good thing? Shouldn't we instead work to ween out all the people who see differences as a problem?

 

[Sparky]

Why should it matter? If somebody is going to be bullied they are going to be bullied. It don't matter for what reason. the Bully is just pathetic. So what if you have two dads. At least you know that both dads love you. otherwise why on earth would they adopt? I got bullied (well sort of) because I had a mum and no dad. As long as you have Parent/parents who are willing to do anything for you that should be enough. Its funny because with saying this crap, does that mean that lesbians are able to adopt? because the kid in highschool would be really popular?

 

[Danmen001]

You're right. The bully is pathetic. But, the child wouldn't be bullied, unless he was put into that situation. Now, what I am trying to say is, how do you deal with it? A child being bullied for something like that, is pretty big. It's not a small thing, it would be a big thing.

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anything set out to deal with it, and anything that does, would possilby further embarrass the child for having to be publically defended.

I am not saying that it should be considered wrong. I'm saying poeple consider it wrong. It's not fair on the child, unless the right conditions are put in.

 

[Sparky]

You're right. The bully is pathetic. But, the child wouldn't be bullied, unless he was put into that situation.

Bull shit. People get bullied all the time over nothing that is their fault. Oh I have big feet thats my fault. .

Now, what I am trying to say is, how do you deal with it? A child being bullied for something like that, is pretty big. It's not a small thing, it would be a big thing.

Teach them to ignore it. Odds are nobody would care if they had dads. Their real parents left them, They claimed them. its also no different then what would happen if a kids parents broke up and the dad came out of the closet. What then Dan? He isn't allowed to be the father anymore?

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anything set out to deal with it, and anything that does, would possilby further embarrass the child for having to be publically defended.

The thing i don't get is why would it bother them. Oh your dad is gay. How is that really hard for the kid? its picking on the parents not the kid. the same kind of thing you imply here is that they should ban Overwieght people from adopting because they will get talmented " your mum's so fat" all the time. that would be just as hard on the kid if not worse.

 

[Danmen001]

Bull shit. People get bullied all the time over nothing that is their fault. Oh I have big feet thats my fault. . Teach them to ignore it.

You have obviously never been bullied. Having gay parents would be big. Very big. Bigger than your feet p). Something like that, a kid can't just ignore. It's going to affect them, and it's going to make them unhappy.

So, what? It looks like everyone is trying to chose the happiness of the gays over the happiness of the children. I'm trying to look at both.

Odds are nobody would care if they had dads. Their real parents left them, They claimed them.

Or mums. Somehow we got on track of just males. But, anyway...

Yes, but with those claims it's the careholder's responsibilty to keep the child happy. And if the child got bullied, it would be inadvertantly the parents fault.

its also no different then what would happen if a kids parents broke up and the dad came out of the closet. What then Dan? He isn't allowed to be the father anymore?

It's very different to if a kids parent broke up. Both of them are still in the parenting role. Male and female. Kids won't be bullied because of that.

Once again, I'm about providing situations in which gay couples would work, without the bullying. That's not provided at the moment, which is why I'm currently against it.

The thing i don't get is why would it bother them. Oh your dad is gay. How is that really hard for the kid? its picking on the parents not the kid.

Have you ever heard your mum jokes? Those can actually be insulting, when it's not in jest. It'd be hard for a kid if a parent did something embarrassing. The child would get bullied just as mcuh as the parent, but the parent wouldn't know (probably) so the kid would take it all.

the same kind of thing you imply here is that they should ban Overwieght people from adopting because they will get talmented " your mum's so fat" all the time. that would be just as hard on the kid if not worse.

Again, your mum jokes. Most people aren't as serious as to genuinely make fun of a person's mum, but if they are, then the kid will take it. Teacher's will more than likely step in if they know about it. If a child has gay parents, then teachers won't find out. Because the kid will be far too embarrassed to tell them, in comparison to overweight parents.

 

[Sparky]

You have obviously never been bullied.

Incorrect. My dad did something at my school that had everybody hating me right through school. After a week I got sick of it and started fighting.

Having gay parents would be big. Very big. Bigger than your feet p). Something like that, a kid can't just ignore. It's going to affect them, and it's going to make them unhappy.

Help me here... What would be an insult somebody would say in this case? ather then Ha you have two dads...

So, what? It looks like everyone is trying to chose the happiness of the gays over the happiness of the children. I'm trying to look at both.

It should be the happiness of both. but why deny the happeniss for one when there is a miniscule chance for the other to be sad?

Or mums. Somehow we got on track of just males. But, anyway...
Because in the main years of getting bullied (highschool) Nobody would Tease you if you had two mums.
Yes, but with those claims it's the careholder's responsibilty to keep the child happy. And if the child got bullied, it would be inadvertantly the parents fault.

It's very different to if a kids parent broke up. Both of them are still in the parenting role. Male and female. Kids won't be bullied because of that.

But what if they ain't. What if like me you never see your dad?

Have you ever heard your mum jokes? Those can actually be insulting, when it's not in jest. It'd be hard for a kid if a parent did something embarrassing. The child would get bullied just as mcuh as the parent, but the parent wouldn't know (probably) so the kid would take it all.

Heard them? Use them all the time. Somebody says that to me and I ignore it. Why? Because i don't give a shit.

If a child has gay parents, then teachers won't find out.

Here is a point, How would the other kids know, unless the kid tells them?

Because the kid will be far too embarrassed to tell them, in comparison to overweight parents.

But if the kids new then the teacher's would know. The only way they wouldn't is if the kid had a falling out with a friend.

 

[Danmen001]

Incorrect. My dad did something at my school that had everybody hating me right through school. After a week I got sick of it and started fighting.

Violence. If everyone fought, there would be school yard wars. That certainly isn't a positive. So no, fighting is not the answer.

Help me here... What would be an insult somebody would say in this case? ather then Ha you have two dads...

I could think of many, but I'm not going to take the time to patronise an imaginary person.

It should be the happiness of both. but why deny the happeniss for one when there is a miniscule chance for the other to be sad?

It should be the happiness of both. Which is why I have said (numerous times now), put something in place that will ensure that the child of the gay parents won't be bullied.

And depending on what kind of place you live in, it's more than a miniscule chance.

Because in the main years of getting bullied (highschool) Nobody would Tease you if you had two mums.

Yeah, they would. If the child turns out differently because of the gay parents, no matter what gender, they will be laughed at, and the the childs parents will be laughed at. And the kid will take all the punishment.

But what if they ain't. What if like me you never see your dad?

They would see both parents. The gay couple of the child, would (unless VERY unlikely circumstances prohibit) be around the child.

Heard them? Use them all the time. Somebody says that to me and I ignore it. Why? Because i don't give a shit.

THey are usually used in jest. If the person was being serious, and targeting a child for having gay parents, that would make them unhappy. You don't see to be understanding that.

Here is a point, How would the other kids know, unless the kid tells them?But if the kids new then the teacher's would know. The only way they wouldn't is if the kid had a falling out with a friend.

People socialise, and things get out. The teachers would probably know the child had gay parents, but wuld they know the child was being bullied for it? I think not. If a kid had a bad falling out with a friend, that will only make him more unhappy. Which certainly doesn't help.


Okay, then. I ask everyone who is for gay couple marriages, to tell me truthfully, that you would not at all, have any problems, with anything, if you had gay parents. Or if someone very close to you did. You turn out differently, there is even the chance you turn out gay. People bully PAINFULLY you for it, and you're not "like" everyone else. You honestly, would not at all care?

If you answered yes, I'm not going to be calling you gay. I'm going to be calling you a LIAR.

 

[Sparky]

Violence. If everyone fought, there would be school yard wars. That certainly isn't a positive. So no, fighting is not the answer.

I never said it was.

I could think of many, but I'm not going to take the time to patronise an imaginary person.

Please try. Just for kicks.

It should be the happiness of both. Which is why I have said (numerous times now), put something in place that will ensure that the child of the gay parents won't be bullied.

Like what? Stab him in the ears so he becomes deaf?

And depending on what kind of place you live in, it's more than a miniscule chance.

No, it isn't. Its life, as i said you will either be bullied or not. its the same for everybody. The only risk of bullying they face is if somebody is jeoulas that they have two dads to play football with.

Yeah, they would. If the child turns out differently because of the gay parents, no matter what gender, they will be laughed at, and the the childs parents will be laughed at. And the kid will take all the punishment.

Just because your parents are gay don't mean you will be.

They would see both parents. The gay couple of the child, would (unless VERY unlikely circumstances prohibit) be around the child.

Well then so would the teachers.

THey are usually used in jest. If the person was being serious, and targeting a child for having gay parents, that would make them unhappy. You don't see to be understanding that.

But its the same for numerous things. A kid at my school got bullied because his father was dead. now thats !00 times worse then this.

People socialise, and things get out. The teachers would probably know the child had gay parents, but wuld they know the child was being bullied for it? I think not.

Trust me, they know everything. If they was being bullied it would be obvious.

If a kid had a bad falling out with a friend, that will only make him more unhappy. Which certainly doesn't help.

That happens all the time though, and its not due to the parents.

Okay, then. I ask everyone who is for gay couple marriages, to tell me truthfully, that you would not at all, have any problems, with anything, if you had gay parents. Or if someone very close to you did. You turn out differently, there is even the chance you turn out gay. People bully PAINFULLY you for it, and you're not "like" everyone else. You honestly, would not at all care?

How on earth would what your parents choose to do be affect your lifestyle? how would you not be like everybody else? the only difference is you have two of something.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

It's true that some kids might get unfairly bullied because of having gay parents. This is very sad and hurtful but it happens. It's not nice for children to be bullied but it happens all over the world about many different things. But if you don't let gays adopt why let disabled people adopt? Their kids could get bullied because of that(and a girl at my school used to get teased endlessly in middle school because her dad was an amputee). Also don't let black people adopt because some kids don't no better and are racist. Or don't let muslims adopt because you know kids will make 9-11 remarks.

I mean it's a disapointment that kids can get bullied because of this, but if your parents can make you understand their is nothing wrong with it(same as there is nothing wrong with your parents being a different race, religion, ect)I think the kid will understand it and they can move on from it. Is it better that kids just stay in foster homes where risks of alchol and drug abuse and crim rates increase?

Lastly I think it is things and people(thoes old grandparents)that are the problem to begin with. What message is this sending to all kids and teenagers? That being gay is wrong and you don't deserve the same rights as everyone else. No wonder kids can be ruthless little bastards when people are constantly saying being gay is wrong and that gay people are not equal to straight people. So banning gay people from adopting will just make all thoes kids who would have bullied the adopted kid believe they are right to be the way they are towards gays.

If people just worried about their own shit and put as much effort as they do trying to make gay marriage/adoption illegal into something meaningful like world hunger, the economy, or something then the world would be a better place

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Being told that ''Your Daddies are poofters'' is likely to break a lot of kids, adopted ones or not. You really have to evaluate each child and see if he can handle being involved in a relationship that'll still be frowned upon by a lot of people in society.

 

[The Hiphopapotamus]

*I in no way, intend to offend. If I do, I apolagize in advance.*​

I don't agree with the lengths the grandparents went to stop it, but...

What about what the kid goes through, is it fair on him? Depending on the situation of the household, of course. If other kids found out, the child of the couple would be terribly bullied. Kids can be that way, especially if people are different.

Please don't get me wrong, I think they should be able to have children of their own. There's just the case of the scrutiny that the kids would go through, which makes me think it would be unfair on them.

True as hell!As a child,they won't give a damn if their friend has two dads and as an adult,they become more tolerant.If they don't,fuck them,they aren't friends.As a teen however,teens are less tolerant and are scared of what is different and want to nplease their friends.The term "gay" is now used as a derogatory term for bad,so that gives you their impression of homosexuals.If someone started using "braces","glasses" or "ginger",or even "fat" as derogatory terms,ie "Youre bikes so fat stacey" or "That chocolate bar tastes like glasses",imagine how a fat ginger with braces and glasses would be treated.That is how maybe someone who is gay or more specifically with gay parents would be treated.Badly.

Another thing would be the abuse the parents might receive.They go to a parent-teacher meeting and the teacher's like"So are you 2 brothers?".If a friends parents are homophobic,it might rub off on the children.

Finally,If the child is badly behaved,they might put it down to the family,which is absurd unless there is a legitimate reason.But if they are good parents,are you telling me that is worse than say a straight couple who are alcoholics who abuse them.

 

[Tim]

The grandparents should have no problem with this. As the grandparents of that child, wouldn't they just want that child to be with a loving family? Does it really matter if it's a gay couple that adopts the child? The child would be raised the same way any other child would be raised, you only need two parents that love you and care about you, and you don't have to look any further than that. That's all that a family needs.

And as for bullying. Every child is going to be bullied. They can even make stuff up now. Take for example you start hanging out with a girl, adn then everybody starts to say you love her and start bullying you about that. It really doesn't take much these days. And if the kid is smart, they wouldn't care about whatever other people say, and eventually it will all stop altogether. And there's always the possibility the kid will be really popular and not get bullied at all.