Don't Be Silly, Wrap Your Willy!

[Disturbed]

Ok, so the title was a little cheesey.... Now, I am 15 years old, and I am a stone cold virgin. Make fun of me all you want, but I just haven't found the one to go all the way with. Now, I have talked to some people who have said, sex ruined there relationship. I have also talked to some who say, sex has made it better. Also many people say sex is pressured sometimes, and someone in the relationship might feel pressured into doing it. Some say sex is a great thing and it's ok before marriage as long as you use protection. Others may not think it's ok before marriage. So my questions to you are, Does Sex before marriage help or hurt a relationship more? Do guys or girls feel more pressured into having sex?

To answer my first question, I have to say it depends. Sure, having sex may be fun but I don't think you should do it unless you truly love the guy or girl you are in a relationship with. Let's say if you decide to have sex a week into dating, then it could ruin the relationship because you might want it more than he/she does, or vice versa. Now, I also think it is ok, if you know you love the person. Because sex is meant to be a good thing. It was meant for man and woman to show love, and how much they care for each either. I also think if you have pre-marrital sex that you should be prepared for the consequences. So does having sex before marriage hurt or help a relationship? It depends on the circumstances, and you should talk to her/him before you decide to go through with it, and make sure you are both ready. I am not a marriage counselor or any of that shit, but that's my view on the sitiuation.

As for my second question, I think it's neutral. Most people say girls are more pressured into having sex but hear me out, I think guys are pressured too. You see some girls think if they don't have sex with there boyfriend that he might leave her or not love her. However, some guys might think the same thing. A guy might not think he is ready but the girl wants it. So the guy is pressured because if he tells her no, he could look like a complete nerd and get made fun of. Guys are just as pressured as girls because sex is a big thing for guys, and they could be scared they will get made fun of or anything. The same can be said with girls, so that's why I think it is neutral.


Thoughts?

 

[#hamler]

Not so sure on your first question, going around and having sex before marriage just seems wrong. However, if you're in a relationship for a while, then I believe it's ok, it will not hurt the relationship. It shows that you are willing to control yourself. But having having tons of sex before marriage shows that you can't settle down and have a regular relationship.

As for you second question, guys are a lot more pressured into sex than most people think. In your typical High School, all you hear about is hot girls, would you do her, and sex. When your asked if you've had sex before guys are always pressured into saying yes. Why? Because other guys make being a virgin something to be ashamed of when honestly, it's not whatsoever. For girls, it's a bit different. If you go around fucking every dick in the school, you're made out to be a ****. Even if you fuck on the first date, a girl will be seen as a ****. Guy are pressured by other guys to have sex, more so than girls are.

 

[Mustang Sally]

As for you second question, guys are a lot more pressured into sex than most people think.

Definitely true. Too many guys see it as a conquest instead of feelings of love expressed between two people. It's a rite of passage and if the guy who started this thread is worried about being criticized at age 15 that he hasn't done it yet, it only goes to show that guys are being pressured, too.

For girls, it's a bit different. If you go around fucking every dick in the school, you're made out to be a ****. Even if you fuck on the first date, a girl will be seen as a ****. Guy are pressured by other guys to have sex, more so than girls are.

This reminds me of the double standard prevalent between genders. When Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women, society is supposed to say about him: "What a guy!" "What a man!" "What a stud!"

Okay, now take a woman who claims to have had sex with 20,000 men. What does society call her?

 

[Calderownz]

Does Sex before marriage help or hurt a relationship more?

Do guys or girls feel more pressured into having sex?

1. Nothing is across the board. You can't really say whether or not it will hurt or better the relationship as you aren't sure of the parties involved. However, in a general way, I think that exploration of any kind is best before taking the marriage leap.

Sometimes, that will involve sexual acts. Often times, it will not. Nonetheless, if you're both ready, than waiting for marriage is an easier choice. No need to wait. You both can still choose to wait if you'd like it to be special, but if you feel it will be special either way, then so long as you're ready, it's fine.

Hurting and helping is also hard to define. Something that seems helpful can end up hurting. Something hurtful can also help you in the long run.

So, that's dicey, to an extent. However, the best thing you can do is talk about it with your partner and hope that when you're both on the same page, you do WHATEVER YOU DO with the best intentions in mind and after some serious thought has taken place.

2. Both feel more pressured than they once did. However, I'd feel that women are more pressured in ways that actually matter.

Sure, men have to "worry" about friends making fun of them, getting picked on, or what have you. But, none of that compares to the fact that a man will lie to a woman to get in her pants and leave her if it doesn't work. A woman is capable of this, but it's unlikely. Especially when you're younger.

A woman can be ostracized for simply saying no. By men AND women, which is shocking to me. That's pressure.

Of course, children should be strong-willed enough to battle this off, but it's tougher at those younger ages. Especially for certain kids.

Nonetheless, don't worry about being a virgin at 15. It's a good thing. I heard a great quote about waiting for when it's best for yourself. To paraphrase: "Don't worry about when you start having sex, just know that when it happens, you plan on making up for lost time."

Anyone who would mock someone in their mid-teens for not having had sex is a douche bag of Jersey Shore proportions.

 

[Calderownz]

Okay, now take a woman who claims to have had sex with 20,000 men. What does society call her?

I call her as soon as I find my phone! Sounds like a good time.

Seriously, however, I see what you're saying. Their is a double-standard in place. However, I will stress that certain double-standards have some sense to them.

Anyone who has sex with a list of people is threatening themselves with an unwanted child. Or at least, an unexpected child.

While a man will have to deal with that. He could also just leave the country.

The woman is risking her lives carrying and delivering that child. That's FAR harder to run away from. Or, she has to deal with an abortion. Which is a whole different story.

In my opinion, anyone who just randomly has sex with someone is a ****. However, when women do something along these lines, they are taking a bigger risk. Therefore, it is a slightly dumber thing to do.

Still, I get your point, and both are dumb as fuck.

 

[Richard]

I think that sex before marriage can help it definately.

Lets say my girlfriend and I were to work out forever and get married and we decide to wait until our honeymoon to have sex with each other. We start doing it and we find out that we don't like sex with each other, that one or the other isn't good, it's awkward or whatever. For some reason, we don't like it with each other. That is not a good thing because wether people want to admit it or not, sex is an important part of a relationship. If you don't like having sex with each other, you are going to start looking else where. Maybe not right away but after a while of having shitty sex, you will want something more.

That's why I believe sex before marriage can help. If you have sex before you're married and find out it doesn't work between you two, then you can always just cut your losses and find someone new. I do know that it is possible for two people to work it out and get better with each other, find out what their partner likes etc but it's highly doubtful that would happen in a lot of cases, maybe a few.

In that case, if you truely love them, then if you have sex before you get married, work it all out, find what each other likes before you get married. Waste money on everything, have a shitty divorce, lose half your stuff to your ex etc.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

I have a very simple opinion on this topic. Fuck what people say. I lost my Virginity at 17, because I wasn't READY. When I was ready, it happened. It didn't hurt the relationship, but it didn't "help" it. Hell, if anything, it made it more complicated.

Going back to my first statement, if friends are clowning on you because you haven't gotten your dick wet, fuck em. You're 15! Think about this... The condom breaks, she gets pregnant. What the hell are you gonna do? Emotionally, I don't think that at your age, you're prepared, nor should you even try and shoulder that kind of responsibility. Life has stages, man. Don't skip any of them for the sake of saving face or giving in to pressure. Enjoy your youth, dude, cuz you're only young once. If you want kids later in life, have at it... but in the meantime, enjoy being your age. Sex shouldn't even be on your plate. You're at that age where you're testing the waters in relationships. You find out who you like and why. You find yourself and learn what you can bring to a relationship, you learn about heartache and heartbreak. You learn what you like and don't like in a woman... All sorts of nifty (and very oftentimes confusing) shit.
Now, I'm not saying to wait until marriage until you have sex, but wait at the very least until you're at an age where you can better understand and handle the consequences of sex, should things not go as "planned". In the end, only you will know when that time is, and by no means should you ever do it because you feel "pressured" or "obligated". Do it because you're ready and can value it's meaning.

Anyone who would mock someone in their mid-teens for not having had sex is a douche bag of Jersey Shore proportions.

I have been looking for someone douche-baggy enough to compare them to for months. Thank you. People who will make fun of/criticize/pick on you for doing (or not doing) something because of your beliefs. Tell em to fist pump themselves!

 

[Nate DaMac]

This reminds me of the double standard prevalent between genders. When Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women, society is supposed to say about him: "What a guy!" "What a man!" "What a stud!"

Okay, now take a woman who claims to have had sex with 20,000 men. What does society call her?

I get what you're saying, but I have a bit of a beef with that. While sure, it seems like a double standard, but is it really? While totally disgusting, if a man were to actually sleep with that absurd amount of women, it is still a little impressive that he found that many women willing to let him, whether he has standards or not. If a woman has zero standards, how hard would it be to sleep with an absurd amount of people? I'm not trying to generalize or be sexist here. But in my own opinion, men are far more likely to get shot down when offering sex than women.

I call her as soon as I find my phone! Sounds like a good time.

That's just disgusting.


Ok well on to the question.

Does Sex before marriage help or hurt a relationship more?

I believe that people put way too much thought into sex. It's just a good thing that other species in the world don't have the same outlook on sex, as we'd have a lot more extinct species. I never plan on getting married. My girlfriend knows this, and while she doesn't necessarily like it, it's something about me that you have to be willing to accept to be in a long term relationship with me. I know a lot of people who say that I just haven't found the right girl. Honestly, I see myself staying with this chick for the long haul. We have a family, we love each other, and we mesh together really well. I just don't see the need to have a cheesy ceremony and waste a bunch of money for it to be legal. Then again, I'm not a Religious person so take that however you want.

So obviously I've never had sex while being married, yet I've never had sex ruin a relationship. There's so many different kinds of contraceptives that I have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone who gets burned. If you're truly safe about it and you can trust the person you're boning, I'm ok with you getting your fuck on. But if you're not going to be safe, you better be ready to deal with the consequences.

Do guys or girls feel more pressured into having sex?

It's kind of a push to me. Teenagers feel an enormous amount of pressure to have sex and I don't think it's gender exclusive. With movies, TV, and all of the other usual lame ass excuses. I'm not denying that the pressure is there, but if somehow having sex at all is more important than being protected, you deserve the burn.