Domestic football - spam version

[Tastycles]

Initial thoughts -

If Swansea's left winger was better than Wayne Routledge, he'd be having a field day Jones doesn't look like he has a clue what he's doing and the right back is a youth team striker.

Manchester United's club captain is a scouser.

 

[Alastor]

The debut of the spray lol

Phill Jones is like a uglier Luiz without the shooting power. Fun to watch.

 

[Lee]

I'm sick of the commentator saying "the first....of the season"

 

[Blade]

YES!

 

[Lee]

YES

 

[Alastor]

The midfield positioning was horrible from Man U for that goal.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

Lmao.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Ashley Young is awful at defending. Swansea are having so much joy down that side it is unreal. Also, Bony with the perfectly timed block on Jones made Ki's goal.

 

[Tastycles]

The United defence looks properly shit. Not like shit for a big club, I mean like 100% dog shit. Evans is alright, but Phil Jones looks like he's got absolutely no idea how to play in a back three. The fact a 20 year old player who's sole playing experience comes from the bottom end of the Championship is getting picked ahead of Smalling speaks volumes.

Herrera looks good, but also like he's made of paper.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Jonjo Shelvey looks like someone you don't want to drop the soap around.

EDIT: Hernandez follows his shove by blasting the ball wide even after play had stopped dead. Oh dear.

 

[Tastycles]

This Swansea team don't look that good. This is a very, very poor result if they don't win, but I think they probably will.

 

[Lee]

Oh Januzaj is wearing number 11? Why haven't the commentators mentioned it?

 

[Alastor]

Routledge and Young are playing the who can be a worse winger of the day game.

 

[Blade]

Nani is warming up. Because that's who you want as a winger when you're playing three defenders.

 

[Lee]

TO be fair a bird shat in Young's mouth.

 

[Alastor]

You know you are in trouble when your CB is your best attacking player in open play.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

The United defence looks properly shit. Not like shit for a big club, I mean like 100% dog shit. Evans is alright, but Phil Jones looks like he's got absolutely no idea how to play in a back three. The fact a 20 year old player who's sole playing experience comes from the bottom end of the Championship is getting picked ahead of Smalling speaks volumes.

Herrera looks good, but also like he's made of paper.

That's why they have eyes on Blind, Vrij and Hummels.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

That's why they have eyes on Blind, Vrij and Hummels.

Lazio already bought him for something like £7 Million.

Oh and Klopp has already said he'd eat a broom (his words, not mine) if Hummels goes, especially for the money he's heard being offered.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

7 million is a steal. 10 million is a good fee imo.

 

[A11oftheLights]

United will definitely be looking for another Centre back

I'd bloody love someone to stomp on Shelvey's head, probably make it look better too fkn twat

 

[Alastor]

To be fair I think Smalling is out due to injury.

The lack of Robben make this system look very ordinary.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

United will definitely be looking for another Centre back

I'd bloody love someone to stomp on Shelvey's head, probably make it look better too fkn twat

Oh so it was you who dropped the soap...

 

[Lee]

https://twitter.com/thefootballcafe/status/500617710485532672

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Nani showing the quality there that made David Moyes sign him to a five year contract...

 

[Lee]

Nani showing the quality there that made David Moyes sign him to a five year contract...

Chris Houghton signed Nile Ranger to a 5 year contract when he heard rumours he was about to get sacked.