Domestic football - spam version

[The Dragon Saga]

I did.

So, those of you who frequent my life will be aware that I'm a student teacher. One of the children said this, upon discovering that I support Liverpool:

"Apparently if you win a trophy with Liverpool on FIFA 13, it makes the picture go black and white..."

So I gave him the cane.

Joke I'm frequently victim to is anything involving the trophy cabinet, usually from United fans, I usually have no response or ask them what it's like being Man City's bitch these days, to which they usually have no response.

 

[Tastycles]

Tastycles is playing today. For an actual team. The last time that happened Tony Blair was the prime minister and Liverpool were the European champions. I will be summonsing the strength and skills of one man, and one man alone. If he can be as out of shape as me, and score in the Premier League, then I can score in a friendly between 14th tier football clubs.

 

[Ming]

Liverpool: Hi lads, how much for Carroll?
Newcastle: 35 million, lol j...
Liverpool: Done.

 

[Ming]

Prostitutes in Liverpool are preparing themselves for an increase in business over the next 9 months.

Coleen Rooney is pregnant again.

 

[Loveless]

That red card was bullshit, a yellow card but never a straight red.

 

[a0161613]

Liverpool: Hi lads, how much for Carroll?
Newcastle: 35 million, lol j...
Liverpool: Done.

Fixed, well kinda....

Chelsea: Hi lads, how much for Torres?
Liverpool: 50 million, lol j...
Chelsea: Done.

 

[Brilliant Human Being]

Let me guess: Northumbria coach lane campus and your closest pub is the Black Bull near Four Lane ends?

No. But watching the derby in a pub packed full of Newcastle fans was a brilliant laugh.

 

[Ming]

Actually, Numbers, Chelsea bid £35M first. But it got rejected.

 

[a0161613]

And if you think Liverpool went straight to Newcastle with 35mil, you're a dumbass.

 

[Lee]

Yeah it started on about £25 million and went up from there.

Also the newcastle mackem match was the worst refereeing performance I have ever seen.

 

[a0161613]

Yeah it started on about £25 million and went up from there.

Also the newcastle mackem match was the worst refereeing performance I have ever seen.

Adding about 10mil on for the timing in the window plus the massive amount of gossip there was about him going to Spurs, I completely believe this.

The problem being, Dalglish had such a hard on for English players, we were so desperate to replace Torres, that we just went for him because he was the best option. It was a terrible business decision.

While I dont like how Rodgers has treated him, it's been a terrible decision all around. When we get 15mil for him from West Ham it will be the best outcome possible. The fortunate thing is we didnt pay the 35mil upfront.

 

[Lee]

Demba Ba is Newcastle's top scorer so far this season with six. He's also the mackems second top scorer this season with one.

 

[Барбоса]

Also the newcastle mackem match was the worst refereeing performance I have ever seen.

I thought the QPR-Everton ref was far, far worse

 

[Ming]

I apologise if I offended you Numbers. Us dumbasses aren't worthy.

EDIT: Because, you know, paying £18M for Stewart Downs and £20M for Henderson is completely different. Why would ANYONE believe that Liverpool payed £35M for Carroll right away!?

 

[Ming]

Also the newcastle mackem match was the worst refereeing performance I have ever seen.

Clearly, you've never watched the second leg of the Champions League Semi-final in 2009 between Chelsea and Barcelona.

 

[Tastycles]

Tastycles is playing today. For an actual team. The last time that happened Tony Blair was the prime minister and Liverpool were the European champions. I will be summonsing the strength and skills of one man, and one man alone. If he can be as out of shape as me, and score in the Premier League, then I can score in a friendly between 14th tier football clubs.

Mission complete.

Goals scored: 1
Ridiculous additional attempts on goal: Worlds softest overhead kick, which went wide, and a very weak attempt at this, which got cleared off the line.



The above's all true, but in all honesty, I was terrible, but I scored and we won, so whatchya gonna do?

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Just saw this posted on facebook, possible chant of the year contender

 

[a0161613]

I apologise if I offended you Numbers. Us dumbasses aren't worthy.

EDIT: Because, you know, paying £18M for Stewart Downs and £20M for Henderson is completely different. Why would ANYONE believe that Liverpool payed £35M for Carroll right away!?

Because we should the all powerful Chelski who have overpaid on wholly average players for years now. It just wholly depends on who if you believe the papers for your transfer gossip when all they do is throw shit at the wall to see what sticks.

I'm guessing you wouldn't accept that we had Mata ready and waiting to join us but Dalglish went for Downing instead because he had (by his lowly standards) a pretty amazing season for Villa. (aka the aforementioned hard-on for Brits.)

The funny thing is we had Ronaldo ready to join before he went to United and Silva was scouted long before he had heard of Man City but between the old owners and the likes of Rick Parry, we couldn't act quickly enough or didnt stump up the cash quickly enough, so we ended up with the likes of Riera and Babel.

I thought Damien Commolli was supposed to have a clue when he got the job. I was pretty impressed by his appointment but I'm pretty sure I could do a better job of negotiating using the newest version of Football Manager.

I still think we have some fantastic players coming through our Academy. Sterling and Suso are going to be the first of many.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Dundee United haven't won a game in the league for six weeks...fortunately for us Dundee are even shitter than us.

 

[Lee]

Xisco is trending on Twitter.

The world is about to end.

 

[a0161613]

How is that possible?

 

[Lee]

Scored hat-trick for the reserves.

 

[a0161613]

I didnt even realise he was still there.

 

[Lee]

Neither did most, he's been on loan for about 3 years.

 

[Ming]

Because we should the all powerful Chelski who have overpaid on wholly average players for years now. It just wholly depends on who if you believe the papers for your transfer gossip when all they do is throw shit at the wall to see what sticks.

I'm guessing you wouldn't accept that we had Mata ready and waiting to join us but Dalglish went for Downing instead because he had (by his lowly standards) a pretty amazing season for Villa. (aka the aforementioned hard-on for Brits.)

The funny thing is we had Ronaldo ready to join before he went to United and Silva was scouted long before he had heard of Man City but between the old owners and the likes of Rick Parry, we couldn't act quickly enough or didnt stump up the cash quickly enough, so we ended up with the likes of Riera and Babel.

I thought Damien Commolli was supposed to have a clue when he got the job. I was pretty impressed by his appointment but I'm pretty sure I could do a better job of negotiating using the newest version of Football Manager.

I still think we have some fantastic players coming through our Academy. Sterling and Suso are going to be the first of many.

Why wouldn't I believe that? Benitez had a massive erection for every Spanish player young enough. I agree that Sterling and Suso (Sterling in particular) are good players. What I don't get though, is why any of what you just said matters. What good is saying "we saw them first!" if you're not even going to sign them first? As long as Mata's dishing out Man Of The Match performances for the fun of it at Chelsea, you can gloat about Liverpool (apparently) wanting to sign him years ago all you want.

There's one little difference between Chelsea's overspending and Liverpool's; Chelsea's wins trophies.