Classic promo lines

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Poop Master Flex

Mid-Card Championship Winner
I was watching RAW last night and saw CM Punk say one of the funniest things I've ever heard in wrestling. His "OMG, Kevin Nash, WTF!! I thought he was dead! lol" line was definitely one of the best lines I've heard in a few years and it got me thinking to some of the classic promo's of history.

There is obviously endless to count from Stone Colds "Austin 3:16 just whooped your ass", to Rocks concert where he spewed off probably a dozen classic lines to something simple like "Whatcha gonna do, when Hulkamania runs wild on you?". There is obviously an endless list of lines that are memorable and great in their own way.

So now I'm asking what are some of your favorite promo lines (not promo's), just something simple that stuck with you and a line you will always remember.

I wouldn't say this is my favorite but one of the ones I always remembered was the Rock saying "to the homeless people of America, stay off his lawn". I just thought it was so cocky and arrogant and fit the character of the Rock so well that I always remembered it.

Anyways I could sit here for hours writing my favorite lines so what are some of yours?
 
I was on Youtube the other day and saw one of Rock's classic promos.

He was talking about the hell in a cell match he was going to be in against Angle, HHH, Rikishi, Stone Cold, and Undertaker.

While he was making fun of HHH, his line was, imitating Triple H, "Or maybe The Rock needs to beat Triple H by himself, which means-ah, he's got to beat the game-ahh, in the middle of the ring-ahh, and he has a $2.00 s**t for a wife-ah!"

I was laughing so hard at that because it's true. I think that Triple H actually does speak like that!

Another one from the Rock is when he was making fun of Kane.

He says "..because Kane can talk. The Big Red ****** can finally speak!"

Another really funny moment by the Rock.
 
Speaking of yesterdays RAW, I liked what the Miz did, it wasnt epic, but it showed how good he really is that he was able to make Subway trend on twitter...but yes I do think Stone Cold and Rock do hold the medals for classic promo lines. HHH/HBK along with Edge may also sit in that category as well.
 
Plenty of people misuse the word "literally." It's supposed to convey a meaning that avoids exaggeration; something that really happened. To me, the champ of using the word incorrectly was Gorilla Monsoon. My two favorites:


--"The action in the ring is literally blasting the roof off Madison Square Garden!"

(Which made me fear for the poor people on 8th Avenue who must have been buried under falling debris)



--"Shawn Michaels is literally exploding on Bret Hart!"

(Think of the ring crew that had to clean up the scattered body parts. Gave new meaning to the term "heartbreak" kid)
 
I remember back when Eric Bischoff was still the GM on Raw, as a heel obviously and JR said one of my favourite lines on a wrestling show

Eric Bischoff is a boil on the ass of life!

Absolutely brilliant.

Also, the time when D-Generation X came to the ring to do a parody of the Nation of Domination was a classic. Triple H was "The Crock", Road Dogg was "D'Lo Brown", Billy Gunn was playing "The Godfather", X-Pac was "Miz-ark Henry" and Jason Sensation did a perfect copy of Owen Hart.

Literally all the lines during that segment were phenomenal.

[YOUTUBE]tq6HkY5JnBc[/YOUTUBE]
 
My all time favorite line is of course from the rock making fun of booker t...When he said I can imagine booker t in school and the teacher ask him to solve this math the teachersaid "booker t what 2+2, and the rock said booker t responded with thomas jefferson sucka...
 
"Indie-rrific wannabe. Been here 5 years & had 2 Main Events. Had the belt 3 times in 20 days.....

You look like a short order cook from a waffle house. Go take a shower, hit the weights and get a clue" - Kevin Nash to CM Punk
 
I always liked "Welcome to Raw is Jericho".


"I am the Reaper Of Wayward Souls. The Keeper Of Nightmares. The Purity of Evil and the Lord of Darkness. I am the Undertaker." - The Undertaker
 
One of my favorites of all time comes from Kane, surprisingly. He's not usually known for being funny, but this was during his short feud with JBL. He said something like:

"JBL, I've been to hell but I've never seen a clothesline there."

It was so cheesy I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
 
Triple H is doing a promo
The Rock comes out and says...
"Triple H, the Rock is sick of you week in and week out
I AM THE GAMEEEAAAAHHHHH
and for the next twenty minutesssaaaahhhhh
I'm going to be talkingaaaahhhhh
Saying ABSOLUTELY NOTHINGAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

I think I laughed for about an hour behind that one..
 
After 3 boring minutes, the rock says know your roll and SHUT your MOUTH. How dare you little jabroni, come on the rocks show, and inturrupt the rock, and not even have the class to introduce yourself. Tell me... what is your name.

I told you, my name is chri...

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!
 
"Just cause I don't look like satan anymore and don't dress like the devil doesn't mean I wont go medieval on yo ass" Undertaker

"You put an S in front of hitman and you got what I think about Bret Hart" Stonecold

"I'd shake your hand but I know where its been" CM Punk
 
Man to be honest, anytime The Rock gets on the mic, you're almost guaranteed gold! But I'll give a couple:

* That one night when he made fun of Kane, he said in a robot voice "My name is Kane. I am a Roo-dy Poo Can-dy Ass!"

*That night he made fun of The Dudleys "What is your name?" "(Bubbah) You should know by now that we are The D- Du Du" "(Rock) I-I-It doesn't matter!"


Plus you have the famous DX speech where Shawn and HHH were cursing. Shawn at the end said "I did not, I repeat, I did NOT sleep with that young intern. As a matter of fact, I was up all night!!"

CLASSSSSIC!:lol:
 
To be honest - anything CM Punk, Edge & The Rock says, I listen to with 100% interest - anything that comes out of their mouths is worth listening to ... with that said ... my all time fav promo was by none of those three, but in fact when Undertaker was the American Bad Ass, and Kurt Angle previously soiled his Bike with milk ... Kurt felt bad and brought out of all things, a scooter, to make amends ... I just thought that was a classic and the chemistry between the two was pure entertainment.

As for back and Forth banter, I honestly think there is one rivalry (promo wise) that is better than Punk & Cena and that was the promos ANYTIME between face Y2J and Heel Stephanie McMahon!!!

And best Promos by a stable was not DX, in my opinion, but by Edge, Christian & Kurt Angle!!!
 
"Of all things I've lost in life, I think I miss my mind the most."- Mankind

"Don't be sad I kicked your ass, just be glad I didn't kill you." - Steve Austin
 
Actually pretty good thread. I have a few. Beginning with two of CM Punk's, one from the shoot because it continues to play in my head whenever I see him in action. And the other in his altercation with Vince McMahon.

"I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world." - CM Punk

"Vince, I'll kick you in the balls and you'll smile and laugh about it." - CM Punk

"Steve, you bald headed sum' bitch. If there is one thing Hollywood has taught me, its take one and two, they don't matter; nah. Its take three, that the people always remember." - The Rock

"ECW wasn't brought back because of Paul Heyman. ECW wasn't brought back because of Vince McMahon.. ECW was brought back, because of you the people. You fans who fought for what we believed in, spoke loud and proud, bought the DVDs and never let ECW die!" - Paul Heyman

"And to the so-called "invaders", let me make something clear... This is our house, BITCH!" - Paul Heyman

"Oh look, we've the Gore... And the ****e!" - Chris Jericho

"If there is anyone who smells what The Crock is cookin', it's me. Look at how big my damn nose is! What am I? An ardvark? WOOOOOOO!!!" - "Owen Hart"
 
"i'm crying and I don't know why...whoooooooo" - Sean Waltman playing Ric Flair in the nWo parody of the Four Horsemen...Nash was pretty classic in that segment too!

"he hates you. You've been making fun of him for years" - The Rock to Gillberg when Goldberg was about to come out.

"Somebody arrest the Hamburgler for sticking Hamburgers up his ass" - The Rock about The Hurricane.

and pretty much the whole series of interactions between Austin/Angle and Vince back in 2001.
 
Here's a DX promo that's maybe the best from their revitalized form in the mid to late 2000s. Trips is dressed as Vince and Shawn as Shane and many bouts of hilarity ensue. I'll pull out this line that gets me rolling every time. Triple H does the Vince voice saying "Wressssstllllllemaaaaniaaaaaa" to what JR comments
"It's like gargling Drano"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=divmvO96lRE&feature=related
 
Can't believe I haven't seen this one...Ric Flairs classic "To be the man Woooo you gotta beat the man" or how about "Woman oh Woman won't ya marry me now Woooooo" or " I'm Limousine ridin wooo, jet flying, red carpet stylin son of a gun wooo" Flair owned the art of the Promo
 
Thanks is giving everyday but especially this day, as the warriors give me the intensity to deliver the power. At Survivor Series it is going to be a warrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

As a warrior fan growing up the words above were the greatest lines ever spoken by a human.
 
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