FAQ about Daniel Bryan versus Dolph Ziggler:
Why?
I don't know.
No, really, why?
I don't know. They're both faces, aren't they?
Wouldn't it be to prove who's the best?
Huh?
That's what Dolph said on Twitter.
So Bryan would wrestle Sami Zayn to prove who's best?
No, he would wrestle Dolph.
Why?
Because Dolph's the best.
But he's not.
He is though.
Why?
Because of all those times he's stolen the show.
Oh, yeah, like...
...
...
...
...
Bragging Rights 2010?
That time he had the best match on a C pay-per-view against Daniel Bryan?
Yeah.
Yeah, alright, that one match who nobody but you, me and Joey Styles remember justifies yelling about how he always steals the show five years after the fact.
Alright, smart guy, who would you have him face?
Unless we can get in a time machine and undo the Royal Rumboo 2015: Sheamus.
Ugh, Sheamus!? But he doesn't even flop to the floor after the first punch in every match! And this would be the third time they've had a match at WrestleMania.
First.
But--
They had a dark match for the United States Championship. Their "second" "match" was Bryan kissing AJ Lee and then getting kicked in the face.
They had that two-out-of-three falls match at Extreme Rules.
Which was absolutely fantastic and better than any match Dolph Ziggler has ever had. Yeah, more of that please.
It's a tired feud!
No, it's not. They've had a handful of matches. They have a history together. Bryan's been the one who's succeeded despite the wishes of management; Sheamus has been the one who's floundered despite the wishes of management. The pariah versus the golden boy.
But Dolph said he wanted to wrestle Bryan on Twitter.
Oh, that's a much better story. Dolph Ziggler massaging his own ego by pitching a nonsense match on social media, pretending he's on the same level - in kayfabe, in reality, in any sense - as Daniel Bryan.
Well, I'm just a strawman plucked from your imagination! This isn't even a real argument.
I'm still right though. Give me Sheamus or give me death.