Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline is Friday, February 13th at 11:59PM CST. Extensions available upon request.
All-Stars IV: JaMarcus Russell vs. Jack Klockowski
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
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Today was a good day. Why is today a good day? Because today is the day of Insurance-Con.
The scene opens to the sun’s rays shining through a bedroom window. The birds are the chirping and the sound of a car blazing through the morning traffic fills the air. The cameras zoom out and we see the figure of Mr. Jack Klockowski. All 5’10, 240 pounds of him stands in front of a mirror. Here, he is dressed in a light blue long sleeved, buttoned up shirt along with some khakis, his signature look. His outfit is not complete without a tie. Three ties are on his bed, laid out before him. One is a bright green color, another is navy blue with white stripes, and the last one is a plain black one. The rotund man takes a second to choose which tie will accompany him to Insurance-Con. After a few moments, he finally chooses the plain dark one.
Jill Klockowski: Honey, you’re gonna be late for Insurance-Con.
Hearing the sound of his wife’s voice lights him up as he gets into a giddy mood. Jack finally makes his way downstairs to a buffet line of breakfast food. You see bacon, omelets, pancakes, the works. He gives his wife, a small, rotund woman as well, a kiss on the cheek before munching down on some pancakes with extra maple syrup.
Jill Klockowski: Now honey, don’t forget to bring your suitcase because you’re going to be selling insurance like crazy. Prove to them that City Farm is the premier insurance company.
Jack: Will do honey. Who knows, I might even win Insurance dealer of the year. I’ve come close each time only coming up short against Jane Reynolds.
Dun dun dun. The cameras zoom in on the eyes of Jack who looks enraged. The cameras stay there for a few seconds before going back to the original scene as Jack looks at his watch.
Jack: Honey, I’m so confident that today’s gonna go well that I’m gonna fill out the 67 page insurance contract I have before giving it to the customer. I’m that confident. I’ll be handing out 67-page insurance papers like it’s nobodies business.
As if time were going by really slow, we see Jack filling out the forms at lightning speed. We see him take a break to wipe the sweat forming on his forehead. Before long, we hear a click of the pen and he’s done. When he looks at his watch, only two minutes have gone by. His wife looks on amazed at her husband’s work rate.
Jack: Honey, I gotta get going. It takes an hour to get to Insurance-Con from here so I better get going to beat the incoming traffic.
Jill hands Jack his suitcase that has a sticker of his insurance company, City Farm. She makes sure his khakis are on straight by lifting them up a little and centering his belt buckle before tip-toeing and giving Jack a kiss on the cheek. He opens the door and walks to the drive way. Jack gets into his white Prius and waves to his wife before making his way to Insurance-Con. The cameras follow the white Prius where we see Jack rocking out to some song. He’s nodding his head vigorously, even letting out a ‘rock-on’ hand gesture. When the cameras give us a view from the inside, the music that Jack is listening to is revealed to be Elevator Music.
Jack is rocking out so much so that he doesn’t have his eyes on the road. When Jack finally has his eyes open, his face turns into a look of worry as he stomps on the brakes.
SCREEEEEEEEEEECH –
His breaks screech for a good five seconds before stopping in front of a Mustang GT. Things go in slow motion here as it emphasizes the sweat pouring down on Jack’s face as he bites his lips. The worse thing has happened. Jack’s Prius chips the bumper of the Mustang GT in front of him. The Mustang GT parks to the side and Jack follows suit, knowing better than to run away. Jack melts in his seat when he sees the owner of the car he just hit – it’s the CFL’s (City Football League) premier Quarterback, Bom Trady. Jack is buried deep into his seat despite being a huge fan of Trady. The Quarterback is seen looking at the bumper of his car seeing the chipped part. He stares daggers through Jack who takes a while to muster up the courage to get out of the car. The insurance provider has some papers as he prepares for the biggest proposal of his life time.
Jack: Sir, I’m so sorry about that. But please, do not fret because I am an insurance provider, more importantly, a car insurance provider. The chip on your car isn’t much so if we could just forget that –
The enraged Quarterback stares angrily at Jack, even knocking away his suitcase;
Bom Trady: Are you kidding me?! You’ve ruined my car. Do you know who I am? I’m Bom freakin’ Trady, the greatest quarterback in CFL history.
Jack: I know who you are sir. Quite a big fan of yours actually. But sir, if you could please show me mercy. You car isn’t even that damaged. And I have to make me way to Insurance-Con, I’m late.
Bom Trady: Look, I don’t care who you are or what you’re late for, I just want to know how you’re gonna pay for the damages to my car. That’s at least $25,000 worth of damages right there. Do you know how expensive it is to maintain a car like this?
Trady kicks at Jack’s suitcase, damaging it even more than before.
Jack: Look sir, I know you’re enraged right now but if we could talk about this matter like civil people –
Bom Trady: Like civil people?! What’s with you and everyone telling me to be more civil? What do you want from me?! Do you want me to admit that I did deflate those balls before the game? Fine! Yes, I did deflate those balls! But how dumb are those referees not to notice?! I only did it as a joke but when the referees went along with it, they ruined everything!
Jack’s eyes widened at the revelation he was just told.
Jack: Sir, I wasn’t talking about that. But damn, you really are a –
Before Jack is able to finish his sentence, Bom Trady begins throwing deflated footballs at Jack’s face. One hit him right on the nose, knocking him down.
Bom Trady: That’s right, you just got hit with my collection of deflated footballs. What are you gonna do about it? By the way, only losers drive a car like yours, a Prius.
A.....
PRI.....US.....
The words echo in Jack’s ear as his eyes widen at the remark from Bom Trady. As if a jolt of energy just entered through him, Jack began throwing those deflated footballs back at Bom Trady. It only took one throw to land a football right between the eyes to knockout the famous Quarterback. Before he could fall though, Jack connected with a Lou Thesz press and began unloading punches on the Quarterback. The punches didn’t seem to hurt since the motion Jack punched Trady with was very uncoordinated. They seemed like slaps instead of punches.
Jack: You think you can make fun of my Prius?! Take this! PAW! And this! KAPOWEEE! You and every football jock are the same. You get into the game, have a couple great games, and think you’re all high and mighty and above people like me. But look at the situation now, it’s me on top of you while you lay there motionless with an asterisk next to your name since winning the Super Bowl.
Jack rears back and gets ready for one final punch.
Jack: This is for making fun of my Prius!!!!!!
The punch stops right in front of Trady’s face and instead, Jack let out his pointing finger and middle finger and poked Trady’s eyes. Trady rolls around in agony from the “beat down” before Jack runs to his Prius and drives away.
Today was a good day. Why is today a good day?Because today is the day of Insurance-Con. Because today was the day I beat up a CFL (City Football Player) player.
The scene opens to the sun’s rays shining through a bedroom window. The birds are the chirping and the sound of a car blazing through the morning traffic fills the air. The cameras zoom out and we see the figure of Mr. Jack Klockowski. All 5’10, 240 pounds of him stands in front of a mirror. Here, he is dressed in a light blue long sleeved, buttoned up shirt along with some khakis, his signature look. His outfit is not complete without a tie. Three ties are on his bed, laid out before him. One is a bright green color, another is navy blue with white stripes, and the last one is a plain black one. The rotund man takes a second to choose which tie will accompany him to Insurance-Con. After a few moments, he finally chooses the plain dark one.
Jill Klockowski: Honey, you’re gonna be late for Insurance-Con.
Hearing the sound of his wife’s voice lights him up as he gets into a giddy mood. Jack finally makes his way downstairs to a buffet line of breakfast food. You see bacon, omelets, pancakes, the works. He gives his wife, a small, rotund woman as well, a kiss on the cheek before munching down on some pancakes with extra maple syrup.
Jill Klockowski: Now honey, don’t forget to bring your suitcase because you’re going to be selling insurance like crazy. Prove to them that City Farm is the premier insurance company.
Jack: Will do honey. Who knows, I might even win Insurance dealer of the year. I’ve come close each time only coming up short against Jane Reynolds.
Dun dun dun. The cameras zoom in on the eyes of Jack who looks enraged. The cameras stay there for a few seconds before going back to the original scene as Jack looks at his watch.
Jack: Honey, I’m so confident that today’s gonna go well that I’m gonna fill out the 67 page insurance contract I have before giving it to the customer. I’m that confident. I’ll be handing out 67-page insurance papers like it’s nobodies business.
As if time were going by really slow, we see Jack filling out the forms at lightning speed. We see him take a break to wipe the sweat forming on his forehead. Before long, we hear a click of the pen and he’s done. When he looks at his watch, only two minutes have gone by. His wife looks on amazed at her husband’s work rate.
Jack: Honey, I gotta get going. It takes an hour to get to Insurance-Con from here so I better get going to beat the incoming traffic.
Jill hands Jack his suitcase that has a sticker of his insurance company, City Farm. She makes sure his khakis are on straight by lifting them up a little and centering his belt buckle before tip-toeing and giving Jack a kiss on the cheek. He opens the door and walks to the drive way. Jack gets into his white Prius and waves to his wife before making his way to Insurance-Con. The cameras follow the white Prius where we see Jack rocking out to some song. He’s nodding his head vigorously, even letting out a ‘rock-on’ hand gesture. When the cameras give us a view from the inside, the music that Jack is listening to is revealed to be Elevator Music.
Jack is rocking out so much so that he doesn’t have his eyes on the road. When Jack finally has his eyes open, his face turns into a look of worry as he stomps on the brakes.
SCREEEEEEEEEEECH –
His breaks screech for a good five seconds before stopping in front of a Mustang GT. Things go in slow motion here as it emphasizes the sweat pouring down on Jack’s face as he bites his lips. The worse thing has happened. Jack’s Prius chips the bumper of the Mustang GT in front of him. The Mustang GT parks to the side and Jack follows suit, knowing better than to run away. Jack melts in his seat when he sees the owner of the car he just hit – it’s the CFL’s (City Football League) premier Quarterback, Bom Trady. Jack is buried deep into his seat despite being a huge fan of Trady. The Quarterback is seen looking at the bumper of his car seeing the chipped part. He stares daggers through Jack who takes a while to muster up the courage to get out of the car. The insurance provider has some papers as he prepares for the biggest proposal of his life time.
Jack: Sir, I’m so sorry about that. But please, do not fret because I am an insurance provider, more importantly, a car insurance provider. The chip on your car isn’t much so if we could just forget that –
The enraged Quarterback stares angrily at Jack, even knocking away his suitcase;
Bom Trady: Are you kidding me?! You’ve ruined my car. Do you know who I am? I’m Bom freakin’ Trady, the greatest quarterback in CFL history.
Jack: I know who you are sir. Quite a big fan of yours actually. But sir, if you could please show me mercy. You car isn’t even that damaged. And I have to make me way to Insurance-Con, I’m late.
Bom Trady: Look, I don’t care who you are or what you’re late for, I just want to know how you’re gonna pay for the damages to my car. That’s at least $25,000 worth of damages right there. Do you know how expensive it is to maintain a car like this?
Trady kicks at Jack’s suitcase, damaging it even more than before.
Jack: Look sir, I know you’re enraged right now but if we could talk about this matter like civil people –
Bom Trady: Like civil people?! What’s with you and everyone telling me to be more civil? What do you want from me?! Do you want me to admit that I did deflate those balls before the game? Fine! Yes, I did deflate those balls! But how dumb are those referees not to notice?! I only did it as a joke but when the referees went along with it, they ruined everything!
Jack’s eyes widened at the revelation he was just told.
Jack: Sir, I wasn’t talking about that. But damn, you really are a –
Before Jack is able to finish his sentence, Bom Trady begins throwing deflated footballs at Jack’s face. One hit him right on the nose, knocking him down.
Bom Trady: That’s right, you just got hit with my collection of deflated footballs. What are you gonna do about it? By the way, only losers drive a car like yours, a Prius.
A.....
PRI.....US.....
The words echo in Jack’s ear as his eyes widen at the remark from Bom Trady. As if a jolt of energy just entered through him, Jack began throwing those deflated footballs back at Bom Trady. It only took one throw to land a football right between the eyes to knockout the famous Quarterback. Before he could fall though, Jack connected with a Lou Thesz press and began unloading punches on the Quarterback. The punches didn’t seem to hurt since the motion Jack punched Trady with was very uncoordinated. They seemed like slaps instead of punches.
Jack: You think you can make fun of my Prius?! Take this! PAW! And this! KAPOWEEE! You and every football jock are the same. You get into the game, have a couple great games, and think you’re all high and mighty and above people like me. But look at the situation now, it’s me on top of you while you lay there motionless with an asterisk next to your name since winning the Super Bowl.
Jack rears back and gets ready for one final punch.
Jack: This is for making fun of my Prius!!!!!!
The punch stops right in front of Trady’s face and instead, Jack let out his pointing finger and middle finger and poked Trady’s eyes. Trady rolls around in agony from the “beat down” before Jack runs to his Prius and drives away.
Today was a good day. Why is today a good day?
The Life and Times of Jamarcus Russell
Scene opens with former #1 overall pick and Oakland Raiders Quarterback Jamarcus The Love Muscle Russell chilling on his couch, eating a large double bacon cheeseburger, onion rings, and of course a diet soda. Russell looks as if he has fallen back on hard times as his once toned body is now a wasteland of 300 plus pounds. All fat of course. Pacing between the living room and kitchen is Tykwon, one of Jamarcus best friends and leader of his entourage. Tykwon looks concerned as Russell continues to shove his face with fast food, leaving no time for the former pro QB to breath. Russell just ogles at the giants 80 in flat screen on the wall as he throws the wrapper from his burger onto the floor, joining their former burger wrapper brethren. Tykwon gazes out the window, wide eyed at what he is seeing.
Russ, I think they are repoing the Lambo.
Nahmanthatshitscrazy.
Russell speaks with a mouth, nary a space in his phrase.
Seriously dude, they hooking up to a truck and shit.
Russell sets the burger down and takes a gulp of his diet soda and looks over at Tykwon.
Let me explain the situation {n-word of the non hard -er variety}. They aint repoin the Lambo. They just borrowin it. Ill pick it up in a few days and they gonna do it again. Thats just how it goes {n-word of the non hard -er variety}.
Shit Russ, I dont think you understand the concept of repoing
I dont think you understand the concept of shut the fuck up {n-word of the hard -er variety}.
What?!?!
Just shut up kwon. You know I messin with ya.
Russell throws his empty onion ring container at Tykwon, who swats it away. Russell flips through the channels of his 80 inch TV that he will surely tell you about if you bring it up, before he stops on the celebrity gossip channel, not believing what he sees.
Robbie Long Island here and Im coming to you live from the home of this weekends big WZCW All-Stars event. The tabloids are blowing up as former NFL bust Jamarcus Russell is scheduled to wrestle at the event. Yes, that Jamarcus Russell.
Wrestle? I aint mess around with that pussy shit. The fuck this {n-word of the hard -er variety} think he talkin' 'bout?
Thats on us Russ.
What you mean, on us?
Me, Lil Rocko, Johnny Small Gunnz, Jackie Off, Tommy Salami, Nikolowdeon, and Sam. You know, the crew.
I dont pay you guys to intervene in my affairs.
You dont pay us anything.
{N-word of the non hard -er variety}, I pay you good shit mang.
Look Russ, were worried about you, thats all. You fell off the wagon and we wanna get you back on.
Wagon? This aint no first grade shit.
Look at it this way Russ. You do the event, youll be back in the public eye. Suddenly Jamarcus Russell isnt a joke. He isnt the laughing stock of the world. This could be your coup de grâce. And hell dude, it could get you back on the field.
Russell is clearly dumbfounded by Tykwons suggestions. Mostly because he doesnt know what a coup de grâce is.
Why would I want to play football and make thousands when I can sit my lovely ass on the couch and make millions. Plus football would cut into our VIP, well my VIP time and of course poppin bottles.
Im sorry Russ, I cant do it any more. Youre delirious dude. You cant honestly sit here and belief that flow of garbage coming out your mouth. Seriously dude, youre killing yourself with double bacon cheeseburgers, onion rings, deep fried twinkies, fried chicken...
I drink diet soda, shits all good.
Diet soda? DIET FUCKING SODA!?! THAT MAKES IT AAAALLL FINE AND DANDY THEN.
Good, we on the same page then.
No Russ. Im on the Harry Potter shit and youre stuck on fucking Dr. Suess.
So you guys want out? No more Love Muscle Party Hustle?
We just want you to put your life together man. Just do this for us. Their will always be time for Love Muscle Party Hustle. But right now lets pop some bottles into some {n-word of the non hard -er variety}s ass.
Imma fuck him up like that two dollar ho!
Two dollars?
The look of throwing up inside comes across Tykwons face as Jamarcus nods and smiles, clearly remembering the good times. Oh and his hand slowly rubs across his junk in an unbeknownst fashion.
Oh yeah. This is gonna be good.
Russell says in a whisper as his vinegar stroke is in full effect. Tykwon just face palms as he leaves Russell alone with his thoughts.
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