Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline is Friday, February 13th at 11:59PM CST. Extensions available upon request.
All-Stars IV: Chuck Miles vs. Jack Burton vs. Guy Dian vs. ______ [Elimination Rules]
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
- Start date
- Status
Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Rex Powerlove has been added to this match.
red ass skull muhfukkah
Dooooooooooooom
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Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline has been granted a 24 hour extension.
Llamas, Whiskey & Tits
The camera pans in on two gentlemen arguing in the lobby of a motel while a dozen homeless looking individuals are pressed at the window, trying to watch the events currently unfolding. The smell of stale cigarettes, sweat and unusual spices overwhelm the small space & the dimly lit room seems to have missed a few scheduled maintenance checks. One of the men is none other than Jack Burton & he appears agitated at the man we presume is the motel manager.
Total silence now fills the air & both men are locked in a death stare with one another. No movement from either man in what seems like forever, is finally broken as the unnamed man pushes some papers across the desk & speaks the phrase no man ever wants to hear.
Hotel Manager: "We cannot allow you to book the room with a llama as your guest, sir."
The papers are pushed back across the counter, this time with a crisp $100 dollar bill.
Jack Burton: "I think that this should cover any further negotiation. Besides, there is no policy that states your motel discriminates against llamas or their owners."
"Sir, there may not be a corporate policy, but I cannot allow a zoo animal to occupy one of our rooms."
"Well, my good man we seem to have solved the problem. This llama has never even been to the gift shop at a zoo, let alone lived in one. Have you ever seen a wild animal wearing a blazer? I think not. This llama is a sophisticated animal & has better manners than most people who stay at this establishment."
"Well, it certainly isn't the strangest thing I have seen around here. I will allow it, but we only have two rooms available currently. Your 'friends' will have to stay elsewhere for the night."
He says while motioning to the crowd of bums formed outside the lobby door. He hands Jack two key cards & a map.
"Not to worry, my generous innkeeper. They are only here for the party. Now where is your ice machine?"
-----
The party is in full swing now just a few hours later, as we have an overhead shot of the poolside festivities. It appears to be a Hawaiian Luau theme complete with roast pig, tiki torches & pineapple shaped lanterns strung about the trees. Scattered around the area are the homeless men who appear to be mingling with a few ladies of the night, drinks in hand & smiles across their faces. The only man not appearing to have fun is the hotel manager, who is currently near the sidewalk with the llama, carrying a plastic bag & trowel with a look of disgusted frustration upon his face.
"Sorry about that! Somehow the llama got into the Mango Spam dip!"
As the manager sulks off, shit bag in hand, Jack toasts the nearest vagabond & lets out a hearty laugh. The sounds of whiskey bottles clanking about the tables is drowned out by the makeshift stereo speakers hung from one corner of the patio area. A Hall & Oates song fades as the national stripper anthem "Pour Some Sugar On Me" is next in que & it sends the hookers each to nearby table-tops in what can only be described as synchronized instinctual habit. This causes all the men to let out a huge roar of approval & as the ladies dance, the once sullen bums are seemingly on cloud nine.
Burton is seated at a table to the back- soaking in the atmosphere & commending himself for his good deed in pulling off the first ever "Hug the Homeless" singles mixer. Just as he puts down his glass of Glenlivet, his phone rings. It is his servant Worthington & he picks it up to answer the call he has been waiting all week for.
"Burton here, tell me that I got the contract..."
"Yes sir, I am happy to inform you that you have. There is only one problem."
"Problems are just creative situations that test your skills, Worthington. I am pretty sure I will manage. What is the issue?"
"Well, sir... One of your opponents, is... well... invisible."
"Are we talking trench coat & sunglasses invisible or naked in the girls locker room invisible?"
"I'm not entirely sure sir, but this does pose a problem."
Burton looks up from his glass & something catches his eye at the poolside area. His eyes get wide & a sly grin develops as he gets up from the table.
"My friend, I have an idea. I'll call you when I am on the road."
Jack walks across the concrete to one of the hookers attempting to fish one of her shoes out of the hot tub. He leans over to grab the heel & as he hands it to her, she tries to steady herself against him in an attempt to put the shoe back on. The woman leans in for a hug & Jack says something to her. She hobbles over to a lawn chair, clearly intoxicated & grabs her purse. She pulls out a metal canister & hands it to Jack.
The label reads: Cherry Blossom Scented Spray Tan.
As Burton walks back to collect his glass for a final refill before he hits the road toward WZCW All Stars, he tosses the canister up in the air & catches it as he lets out a chuckle.
"Thank god for drunk hookers."
TEXT:
FADE IN:
EXT. A FAIR - NIGHT
Ferris wheels go round. Ducks get shot. Cotton candy. All of that. On the outskirts of the fair sits a rusted, shoddy CARAVAN, hooked up to an equally rusted, shoddy Volkswagen Beetle. The door explodes open, one set of hinges given way with an anguished scream. A man protrudes from the entrance; a hulk of a man; a man wearing a luchadore mask through which pokes an unkempt ginger beard. He speaks with a thick Austrian accent.
REX brings a spoonful of beans from the can he's carrying up into his mouth. He chews, giving the camera a bemused look as bean juice trickles down his jaw.
He looks preposterous. Other than the mask, which is obviously odd, he's wearing a sweatshirt - stained with equal parts food and sweat - and denim cut-off shorts. He looks like a homeless man, if homeless men stole tub after rub of creatine powder from supermarket dumpsters.
Suddenly, he beams - a smile that would melt even the iciest heart. He tosses the can of beans to one side and spreads his arms wide.
TEXT:
CUT TO:
INT. REX'S CARAVAN - NIGHT
The inside of the caravan is a sty, and not a very big one. It's lit entirely by neon bar signs and a cathode ray TV on which something like Commando plays. Rex is jammed behind what probably qualifies as breakfast table, grinning slyly.
Handheld footage plays of two boys on a trampoline. One of the boys is nearly six feet tall, bearded and wearing a luchadore mask and singlet. This boy grabs the other boy in a front facelock, lifts him into the air and slams him down onto the metal of the trampoline spine first. He stands and celebrates wildly. The other boy does not stand. Probably ever again.
Back to the caravan.
Rex frowns.
Footage of a young Rex, still in the mask and singlet, doing pull-ups from a tree branch as other young muscular men, considerably more Aryan, look on approvingly.
Footage of Rex in a bright white suit passing ice cream cones out to children by a lake. He looks miserable. He is, of course, still wearing the mask.
Footage of Rex wrestling in front of a fairground audience. He picks up three men at once. He nearly clotheslines someone out of their skin. He suplexes two men at once. The crowd cheer. Rex looks happy.
Cut to black.
In 2014, tales spread about a man.
An extraordinary man.
A wrestler.
A professional wrestler.
An extraordinary man.
A wrestler.
A professional wrestler.
FADE IN:
EXT. A FAIR - NIGHT
Ferris wheels go round. Ducks get shot. Cotton candy. All of that. On the outskirts of the fair sits a rusted, shoddy CARAVAN, hooked up to an equally rusted, shoddy Volkswagen Beetle. The door explodes open, one set of hinges given way with an anguished scream. A man protrudes from the entrance; a hulk of a man; a man wearing a luchadore mask through which pokes an unkempt ginger beard. He speaks with a thick Austrian accent.
REX POWERLOVE
Yoo da journahlis?
Yoo da journahlis?
REX brings a spoonful of beans from the can he's carrying up into his mouth. He chews, giving the camera a bemused look as bean juice trickles down his jaw.
REX
You must be da journahlis.
You must be da journahlis.
He looks preposterous. Other than the mask, which is obviously odd, he's wearing a sweatshirt - stained with equal parts food and sweat - and denim cut-off shorts. He looks like a homeless man, if homeless men stole tub after rub of creatine powder from supermarket dumpsters.
Suddenly, he beams - a smile that would melt even the iciest heart. He tosses the can of beans to one side and spreads his arms wide.
REX
Vell! Come on in, man! Velcome to my vorld!
Vell! Come on in, man! Velcome to my vorld!
TEXT:
An unprofessional wrestler.
CUT TO:
INT. REX'S CARAVAN - NIGHT
The inside of the caravan is a sty, and not a very big one. It's lit entirely by neon bar signs and a cathode ray TV on which something like Commando plays. Rex is jammed behind what probably qualifies as breakfast table, grinning slyly.
REX
Vell, vhere to begin!? I suppose in da beggining, ja? As a young boy, I vas very into proh vesterling. In my village, in Österreich, proh vesterling vas not as cool and as-- as-- socially ahcepted as it is in de rest of da vorld. Not like in de United Kingdom, or de States, or Canada vere it is cool to like vesterling. For some reason, my interest in vesterling, it vas frowned upon.
Vell, vhere to begin!? I suppose in da beggining, ja? As a young boy, I vas very into proh vesterling. In my village, in Österreich, proh vesterling vas not as cool and as-- as-- socially ahcepted as it is in de rest of da vorld. Not like in de United Kingdom, or de States, or Canada vere it is cool to like vesterling. For some reason, my interest in vesterling, it vas frowned upon.
Handheld footage plays of two boys on a trampoline. One of the boys is nearly six feet tall, bearded and wearing a luchadore mask and singlet. This boy grabs the other boy in a front facelock, lifts him into the air and slams him down onto the metal of the trampoline spine first. He stands and celebrates wildly. The other boy does not stand. Probably ever again.
Back to the caravan.
REX
My parents vere never very suhpportive. For many years, my mother, mutti, she tought I vas a homosexual man. She vould say to me, "Rexxy, vhy do you have ahll these pictures of half naked men on the valls in your bedroom? Vhy do you have so many baby oils? Are you *********ing to dese men?" She did not undahstand!
My parents vere never very suhpportive. For many years, my mother, mutti, she tought I vas a homosexual man. She vould say to me, "Rexxy, vhy do you have ahll these pictures of half naked men on the valls in your bedroom? Vhy do you have so many baby oils? Are you *********ing to dese men?" She did not undahstand!
Rex frowns.
Footage of a young Rex, still in the mask and singlet, doing pull-ups from a tree branch as other young muscular men, considerably more Aryan, look on approvingly.
REX
And my father, mein vater, he did not vant me to be a vesteler either. My father vas a very powerful man. He vas an executive for Volkswagen. He vas very respectable. He vas an important figure in our village; he vas da only man dat vore a suit! He vanted me to sell de ice cream down at de lake but just vanted to excercise and to wrestle with da other boys.
And my father, mein vater, he did not vant me to be a vesteler either. My father vas a very powerful man. He vas an executive for Volkswagen. He vas very respectable. He vas an important figure in our village; he vas da only man dat vore a suit! He vanted me to sell de ice cream down at de lake but just vanted to excercise and to wrestle with da other boys.
Footage of Rex in a bright white suit passing ice cream cones out to children by a lake. He looks miserable. He is, of course, still wearing the mask.
REX
And dat is vhy I came here. Dat is vhy I am in de employ of Mr. Papadopolous. Mr. Papadopolous, he is very much like my father - but he understands. He is a vealthy man, he owns a launderette in London, and he respects me. He vants me to be myself. He vants me to be a star!
And dat is vhy I came here. Dat is vhy I am in de employ of Mr. Papadopolous. Mr. Papadopolous, he is very much like my father - but he understands. He is a vealthy man, he owns a launderette in London, and he respects me. He vants me to be myself. He vants me to be a star!
Footage of Rex wrestling in front of a fairground audience. He picks up three men at once. He nearly clotheslines someone out of their skin. He suplexes two men at once. The crowd cheer. Rex looks happy.
REX
I vill go de big leagues. I vill be a star! People vill know I am de power. People vill know I am P-Rex. People vill know my name.
I vill go de big leagues. I vill be a star! People vill know I am de power. People vill know I am P-Rex. People vill know my name.
Cut to black.
Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Day in, day out: there are brave soldiers who are willing to suit up and put their lives at risk to stand on the front lines, fending off enemies looking to siege whatever peace and harmony that remains of the world. They may fight each other but it is humanity they seek and it is the Guardians of the Galaxy - the ones not copyrighted under Marvel comics - who keep us safe... well, from harm done by the enemy, at least...
We suddenly go from the unskipable monologue loading screen to the Tower, a really large tower (as the name should suggest) that overlooks what is known as the Last City, where one of these fine warriors Guy Dian - according to lore and reputation - walks with his head held high and a smug look on his face alongside his faithful and monotone companion, Dinklebot (a floating robot who lights up dark areas, opens locked doors and provides terrible dialogue). Many workers and personnel on the Tower greet him with grace, which Guy soaks into his loins before telling them to move out of the way. He keeps strutting the Tower until he reaches the Bounty Man robot, snatching the checklist off him to see what the Tower wishes for him to complete on this day (after daily reset).
"Patrol the moon... kill 100 enemies... how many fucking times do you guys expect me to do this? Do you know who I am? I am Guy Dian, the best guardian in the entire universe! I was doing this sort of shit whilst in training and you still expect me to deal with your little quabbles? Do it yourself, ********."
Guy tosses the checklist aside and pushes over the robot, causing it to fall down awkwardly. He continues along, leaving the robot behind to deal with his problems. Guy is angered after being asked to do petty tasks and looking to let out his rage. He sees a bunch of aspiring guardians, playing a game of volleyball. Quickly, he goes over and grabs the ball, throwing it off the cliff. The guardians point at him in disgust but Guy doesn't care, leaving them to be depressed.
"Screw this place, Dinklebot. I've absolutely had it up to my neck with all this crap. I've completed everything until the next DLC comes out and they expect me to keep doing the same things over and over? I need a damn challenge!"
"What about the Crucible, sir?"
"Did you not hear me? I've completed EVERYTHING! It's like talking to a brick wall."
"The WZCW Crucible, sir."
Guy looks interested. Dinklebot creates a hologram of a flier. Cue next scene where Guy cuts his promo.
----------------------------
We see Guy in his finest raid gear, ready to make his appearance in the WZCW Crucible. Dinklebot is there, looking to unlock the door as Guy waits impatiently.
"Can't you go any faster?"
"Not until I know you're ready, Guy."
"For what? This petty excuse for a Rumble match?"
"These are admirable oppone-"
"Seriously? After all we've been through and you still insist on advising me caution? I've beaten the best any enemy has to offer. I've taken down an Archon Priest, a High Servitor and the legendary damage sponge Valus Ta'aurc! All three 10 times the size of myself and I destroyed these leaders single-handedly. You cannot tell me someone like Jack Burton has anything on them, right? I could melee him to death with one swift hit. This Jack-off looks weaker than a shank without a protective Shield!"
"You cannot underestimate the power of your oppone-"
"I am the power, Dinklebot. Every major leader of every major enemy house has fallen to my wrath. I've captured every top fighter's throne and claimed it as my own. How can a fallen leader who left his throne such as Chuck Myles be of any threat to a guardian such as myself? I'll chuck him off the top of the Tower and watch him fall miles to his death, haha!"
"How can you predict the ability of an invisible wr-"
"Are you stupid? I can go invisible myself. With a little Patience and Time, I can become an escape artist, vanishing from sight and embrace the essence of a true shadowjack. Whoever this invisible dick thinks he is, there is no way he can get his hands on me: he don't touch me, I ruin him."
"What if there are any surprise or last-minute entr-"
"Like what? Vex Powerglove?"
"Sir, his name is Rex Powerglove."
"I know, stupid. But he's as useless at including himself into the All-Stars event like the Vex are useless at weaving themselves through the fabric of space and time. I took booted the Vex's God Atheon into purgatory with the use of a single shield. I harnessed the energy of the Vex Mythoclast and ripped through his very soul. How's a man whose best attraction is one gauntlet going to be able to hurt me?
I've crippled the enemies livelihood even if I don't exactly know why; destroyed legions of troops; and annihilated the greatest raid bosses in existence. How is a Crucible match contested between human contestants going to be any challenge for me?"
"There's no internet connection in Antartica."
Guy Dian stops speaking and stares into the distance. He grabs Dinklebot, beats the crap out it and tosses it aside. He kicks down the door and busts it open.
"I don't need Dinklebot for this. I will show the entire world why I am the greatest Guardian of all time and I will become... legend!"
- Status
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