Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline is Friday, February 13th at 11:59PM CST. Extensions available upon request.
All-Stars IV: Doctor Anderson vs. Simon
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
- Start date
- Status
Simon was a normal Sim. He lived in a normal home with his normal wife and their normal children. Their status bars were normal and they normally spent their time together normally doing normal things as any normal family would.
But then one day that all changed.
Normally when Simon and his wife would go to bed, they would sleep on their respective sides of the bed, as was the norm for Simon and his normal relationship, and as such they would normally wake up on the same side as they had slept on during the normal night before. So, when Simon awoke one morning he was more than surprised to find that he was on the wrong side of the bed, as any normal Sim would given the situation. It was at this moment that Simon turned to his wife and was confronted with the words that would change his life forever, the words that Simon would repeat inside his mind for the rest of his very existence.
Harva sol labaga along with hava so lawnumg.
Simon didn't know how to react. He couldn't react. The words he had just heard shook him to the core, their layers upon layers of meaning overlapping inside of his mind. Simon's normal mind tried and tried to understand how he was going to be able to keep living with this new found knowledge that his life was going to be changed forever due to this sentence he had just heard. Simon's status bars started wavering, his normal Sim body unable to cope with the abnormality of the situation at hand. Panicking, Simon did the only normal thing he knew to do at a time like this: Make breakfast.
Simon's normal breakfast consisted of normal food that one would often eat in the case of a breakfast being eaten, but when Simon opened the normal door to his normal pantry to pick out the normal foods, he was faced with another shockingly abnormal development. Simon's eyes began to widen to an abnormal length as he was faced with an event certainly wasn't normal.
When Simon would normally open his normal pantry door to look for breakfast, he would normally find it, but in this particular instance on this abnormal day he did not find it. In the breakfast's place was all the materials required to make not a breakfast, but a lunch.
By now Simon's world was crumbling around him. Were the normal things he had normally experienced ever coming back? Would this abnormality ever stop? Will the words he heard earlier have as much of an effect on his normal lifestyle as he thought? Or would they take his life on mysterious journeys, leaving his normal life behind for unexplored seas?
Simon turned around, and when he did he was faced with the most normal sight he had seen all day - his normal next door neighbor. It wasn't abnormal for Simon to see his normal next door neighbor at this time of day, but it was for her to be in his normal kitchen, standing a normal distance away from him. At this point, however, Simon's status levels were measurably skewed from his normal levels, slightly altering his normal sense of normal and so he didn't seem to care.
Hooba Noobie.
The words left the normal next door neighbor's normal lips just as any normal sentence would, but Simon knew better than to assume this normal sentence was inherently normal due to the normality of the subject she was talking about. Simon knew that since normally the things that seemed the most normal would normally be normal on a normal day, then on an abnormal day such as this, it was clear to Simon's normal, rational brain that the things that would normally be normal would in this case be abnormal. Suddenly, Simon knew exactly what to say.
Fleny Fleny!
The normal next door neighbor squinted, knowing that normally an expression of glee such as that would normally mean a breakthrough had been made in an otherwise abnormal situation. Her time was up, her abnormal plan was finished, she could now only do what was normal and walk normally away accordingly.
Simon celebrated the breakthrough in a normal fashion, but since this was not a normal day, the celebration was of course rather abnormal given the situation. Simon's status bars started fluctuating again, but Simon didn't care. He now knew that this that would normally be abnormal would now be normal given the abnormality of the day so far. Simon began to think some abnormal thoughts.
Given that his normal world was now abnormal, would doing things that would usually be abnormal, normal? If every normal thing would suddenly become abnormal, then would being normal be abnormal? Would normality continue to exist?
Simon begun thinking of things that he would now be able to do, now that the normally abnormal was now normal. He thought of how normally there wouldn't be an ability to suddenly make an abnormal room surrounding another Sim, trapping them inside its abnormal walls until their normal status bars depleted to abnormal levels.
Simon would normally never think of harming another Sim, but now in this abnormal world such abnormal thoughts were no longer abnormal. Simon thought for abnormally long amounts of time about this, and he came what he considered to be the most normal, and therefore also abnormal decision. He decided that since his normal world was now abnormal, he should go to the most abnormal, and therefore normal, event - WZCW All Stars.
But then one day that all changed.
Normally when Simon and his wife would go to bed, they would sleep on their respective sides of the bed, as was the norm for Simon and his normal relationship, and as such they would normally wake up on the same side as they had slept on during the normal night before. So, when Simon awoke one morning he was more than surprised to find that he was on the wrong side of the bed, as any normal Sim would given the situation. It was at this moment that Simon turned to his wife and was confronted with the words that would change his life forever, the words that Simon would repeat inside his mind for the rest of his very existence.
Harva sol labaga along with hava so lawnumg.
Simon didn't know how to react. He couldn't react. The words he had just heard shook him to the core, their layers upon layers of meaning overlapping inside of his mind. Simon's normal mind tried and tried to understand how he was going to be able to keep living with this new found knowledge that his life was going to be changed forever due to this sentence he had just heard. Simon's status bars started wavering, his normal Sim body unable to cope with the abnormality of the situation at hand. Panicking, Simon did the only normal thing he knew to do at a time like this: Make breakfast.
Simon's normal breakfast consisted of normal food that one would often eat in the case of a breakfast being eaten, but when Simon opened the normal door to his normal pantry to pick out the normal foods, he was faced with another shockingly abnormal development. Simon's eyes began to widen to an abnormal length as he was faced with an event certainly wasn't normal.
When Simon would normally open his normal pantry door to look for breakfast, he would normally find it, but in this particular instance on this abnormal day he did not find it. In the breakfast's place was all the materials required to make not a breakfast, but a lunch.
By now Simon's world was crumbling around him. Were the normal things he had normally experienced ever coming back? Would this abnormality ever stop? Will the words he heard earlier have as much of an effect on his normal lifestyle as he thought? Or would they take his life on mysterious journeys, leaving his normal life behind for unexplored seas?
Simon turned around, and when he did he was faced with the most normal sight he had seen all day - his normal next door neighbor. It wasn't abnormal for Simon to see his normal next door neighbor at this time of day, but it was for her to be in his normal kitchen, standing a normal distance away from him. At this point, however, Simon's status levels were measurably skewed from his normal levels, slightly altering his normal sense of normal and so he didn't seem to care.
Hooba Noobie.
The words left the normal next door neighbor's normal lips just as any normal sentence would, but Simon knew better than to assume this normal sentence was inherently normal due to the normality of the subject she was talking about. Simon knew that since normally the things that seemed the most normal would normally be normal on a normal day, then on an abnormal day such as this, it was clear to Simon's normal, rational brain that the things that would normally be normal would in this case be abnormal. Suddenly, Simon knew exactly what to say.
Fleny Fleny!
The normal next door neighbor squinted, knowing that normally an expression of glee such as that would normally mean a breakthrough had been made in an otherwise abnormal situation. Her time was up, her abnormal plan was finished, she could now only do what was normal and walk normally away accordingly.
Simon celebrated the breakthrough in a normal fashion, but since this was not a normal day, the celebration was of course rather abnormal given the situation. Simon's status bars started fluctuating again, but Simon didn't care. He now knew that this that would normally be abnormal would now be normal given the abnormality of the day so far. Simon began to think some abnormal thoughts.
Given that his normal world was now abnormal, would doing things that would usually be abnormal, normal? If every normal thing would suddenly become abnormal, then would being normal be abnormal? Would normality continue to exist?
Simon begun thinking of things that he would now be able to do, now that the normally abnormal was now normal. He thought of how normally there wouldn't be an ability to suddenly make an abnormal room surrounding another Sim, trapping them inside its abnormal walls until their normal status bars depleted to abnormal levels.
Simon would normally never think of harming another Sim, but now in this abnormal world such abnormal thoughts were no longer abnormal. Simon thought for abnormally long amounts of time about this, and he came what he considered to be the most normal, and therefore also abnormal decision. He decided that since his normal world was now abnormal, he should go to the most abnormal, and therefore normal, event - WZCW All Stars.
Scene opens to a view of a 100 story tall purple plaid skyscraper with a neon green sign flashing that reads "Tower of ART". Lightning bolts are seen across the sky, hinting that a bad thunderstorm is on its way soon. The Shinra Corporation theme from Final Fantasy 7 plays in the background of this scene because Doctor Anderson has it playing over the intercoms in his tower 24 hours per day 7 days per week, he thinks the song is as he would put it "a fine form of ART".
Scene zooms in on a window on the 64th floor of the tower, revealing a meeting room with a brown plaid table and black plaid chairs, each chair has its back facing the camera so no one can see who is sitting in them yet. The chair at the head of the table is marked "Chairman".
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Tower of ART.... The sinister group of supervillains known as The Board Of Regrets, made up of former ART students who all got excellent grades in Doctor Anderson's class, have been summoned for yet another meeting by Doctor Anderson himself. They hold these meetings daily for the sole purpose of coming up with ways to torture the students who skipped ART class that day to make them regret not going to ART. See what I did there? Yep, I'm that kind of narrator. I like puns. I'm going to stop talking now though because I'm an irrelevant random voice who was hired to only speak this one line so that Doctor Anderson's sidekick Larry "10 Hours" Aloha doesn't have to akwardly state the group's backstory during the meeting for the benefit of the person reading this RP on the internet.... because that would just be weird. You know, as weird as bringing in a pointless narrator for a grand total of one line in the RP never to be heard from again when another descriptive paragraph would have sufficed. Oh well. I needed the money, gotta be able to pay rent and stuff. Doctor Anderson also wanted me to tell you that breaking the 4th wall is a lovely form of ART. I did my job, Doctor Anderson! They know who The Board Of Regrets are. Ok, I'm gone now, goodbye.
The black plaid office chair to the right of the one marked "Chairman" turns around. We see a curly haired government professor with a big mustache and very large glasses wearing khakis as well as a blue button-up shirt. This is Larry "10 Hours" Aloha, also known as Doctor Anderson's sidekick, who takes exactly 10 hours to do even the simplest of tasks.
Aloha: Alright I have to take attendance before Doctor Anderson gets here. No talking until I'm done, it'll take me 10 hours to do this otherwise. So.... first on the attendance list is.... Larry "10 Hours" Aloha.... That's me! I'm here. Next we have the Opossum.... Giant Opossum, are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the left of the one marked "Chairman" turns around revealing a very overweight Opossum. The Opossum stands up on its hind legs and hisses at Aloha.
Aloha: Ok, what about.... The Bee Who Got A "B" In ART For Being A Bee.... are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the left of The Opossum's chair turns around, a seemingly normal ordinary bee is walking around on the left armrest of the chair. It buzzes and then sits still for a moment before walking around on the armrest some more.
Aloha: Then that just leaves.... Some guy named Allan Nursing who thinks he is a Hammer Brother from world 8-3 in Super Mario Brothers 1. Are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the right of Aloha turns around, revealing a guy wearing a cosplay outfit of a Super Mario Brothers "Hammer Brother" although he messed up because it's clearly not the Super Mario Brothers 1 "Hammer Brother" design, it's the Super Mario Brothers 3 "Boomerang Brother" design, but he kept wearing it after having been told long ago by Doctor Anderson that his cosplay suit was a form of ART. This NPC looks like that guy from 2 And A Half Men. I don't know which one, does it matter which one it is? He's just an NPC who's literally never going to speak in this entire RP so does it matter what he looks like? Ok, good, seeing as though you won't get more of a description than that because you didn't go to ART class this morning.
Aloha: That's everyone. Doctor Anderson should be here any moment now. He said he had a big announcement.... Maybe we are finally inducting a new member....?
At that moment a large heavyset man with a long white beard, a black cowboy hat, glasses, black cowboy boots, blue jeans, and a green plaid buttoned up shirt breaks down the door to the meeting room. It's Doctor ART Anderson himself who broke down the door. The door is plaid too, the same shade of brown plaid as the meeting room table.
ART: Ok, now it's time for you all to learn all sorts of things about ART!
Aloha: Sir, this isn't one of your classes, this is a Board Of Regrets meeting, remember? I spent 10 hours walking up the steps to get here, we need to begin.
ART: Oh, yes! That's right! Very good Mister Aloha! Let's stART! I have big announcement concerning the ART depARTment!
The Opossum hisses, the bee begins flying around the room, the hammer brother cosplayer throws a "hammer" which is actually a prop boomerang instead of a prop hammer, at the bee as the bee flies past the Opossum but the cosplayer misses the bee.
Aloha: What is it, sir?
Doctor Anderson sits down in the black plaid office chair at the head of the table, the one marked "Chairman".
ART: I've decided to take a week off from teaching ART. My ART students think they are so smART, but I have a plan! I'm going to become a wrestler in Wrestlezone Championship Wrestling!
Aloha: What!?
ART: I was spying on one of my ART students at Wal-mART while he was buying a box of pop tARTs, he mentioned a special All Stars show coming soon where anyone can pARTicipate!
Aloha: I'm not so sure about this, sir. Do you know how to wrestle?
ART: Sure I do! Wrestling is a fine form of ART! Just wait until you hear the best pART! This way I can teach a lesson to those students who keep skipping ART each morning, I'll make them regret not going to ART! I'll defeat their heroes in the wrestling ring, stARTing with that fool, Simon!
Aloha: I can't say that I support this idea, sir.
ART: Well, I'm the Chairman Of The Board Of Regrets! No one can tell me what to do! What about the rest of you?
The bee is still flying around the room, it flies past the Opossum, who tries to catch it with its claws. The Opossum hisses angrily at the bee.
ART: See, even my best student ever, the Opossum who earned a prestigious 112% in ART thinks it's a good idea!
Aloha: Sir, I don't think he was agreeing with-
ART: The Opossum has spoken, and as my most successful student ever earning a 112% in ART he is your superior and I say the decision is final, I will wrestle against those young upstARTs in the All Stars show! Do you dare question The Chairman Of The Board Of Regrets?
Aloha: No, sir.
ART: Good. Then, let's move onto the next order of business. From now on, I want minutes from these meetings to contain plaid chARTs. Remember that before we depART, we must leave soon or else we will be late.
Aloha: Late for what?
ART: To show people on the other side of the city what happens when you skip ART! Especially Phillip Nunzio, who never turned in the plaid still-life painting of my cowboy hat, he has now failed ART for the 9th semester in a row. I have to inform him that his grade is still sitting at zero yet we are halfway into the semester already at this point. Come, Aloha! To the ART-Copter!!!!
Doctor Anderson and Aloha run offscreen. The Opossum is still trying to catch the bee as it flies circles above the Opossum. The hammer brother cosplayer throws several "hammers" at the bee, still missing each time. The Shinra music stops playing here. Scene fades out.
====
Fade in to a street intersection downtown in the city. A blonde female Fashion Model NPC is standing on the sidewalk wearing a very expensive looking outfit, waiting for the Walk signal to appear. A brown haired male Sales Rep NPC dressed in a fancy business suit walks up to the pedestrian crossing next to the Fashion Model NPC finishing a call on his cellphone. Neither of them have names because they didn't go to ART class either.
Sales Rep NPC: Ok. I'll check on your tariff rates tomorrow. Yes. Goodbye.
He hangs up his phone and puts it away as the female Fashion Model NPC looks in his direction.
Sales Rep NPC: Lovely weather we're having today.
Fashion Model NPC: Very. It's so much nicer than the cold weather we were having a month ago.
Sales Rep NPC: You wouldn't happen to have a dime, would you? I'm out of change and I was going to get a bag of chips from the vending machine when I get back to the office.
Fashion Model NPC: Let me check in my purse, I might have one right next to the.... OH MY GOSH!!!! WHAT IS THAT!?!?!?!?!!? RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
The Fashion Model NPC runs offscreen to the right, screaming at the top of her lungs. The Sales Rep NPC looks to his left to see what caused her sudden change of tone. He now looks terrified too and runs offscreen to the right as well. Camera angle shifts to the left and we see a blue plaid helicopter in the distance flying into view. It's the ART-Copter. The boss theme from Sonic 3 plays now and remains on repeat for the rest of the following scenes.
The blue plaid ART-Copter is seen flying closer into view. It is armed with a huge paintball cannon that is shooting green plaid paintballs at everything in sight. Dozens of civillians are running away from it on the streets while others are taping the chaos on their smARTphones. Angle shifts to a view of Doctor Anderson and Aloha inside the ART-Copter.
ART: How much longer until we get to Phillip's apARTment?
Aloha: Do you still want me to stop for ice cream on the way there?
ART: A stalwART sidekick always gets his Chairman ice cream.
Aloha: Then it's going to take me 10 hours to get all the way back to the other side of town. We passed the ice cream place a LONG time ago!
ART: Wait, isn't that Phillip Nunzio up there? Go fly us up to that pARking lot.
Aloha: Oh, come on! That one didn't even have "art" in it!
The song keeps playing as the angle shifts to an accountant in his early 30's walking over to his vehicle, an Aston mARTin DB7. He turns the ignition, but the car will not stART. He gets out of the car and takes out his iPhone as the ART-Copter flies into view, it is directly to Phillip's right by the time he begins speaking on the phone. Doctor Anderson has leaned his head out the window.
Phillip: Hey, it's me, Phillip. I'm going to be late coming back home. The car won't start.
ART: Should've gone to ART!
Phillip turns around and sees the ART-Copter.
Phillip: I'll call you back.... Yeah, it's Doctor Anderson.... Again.
He puts the iPhone away as Doctor Anderson leaps out of the ART-Copter, pointing to Phillip and laughing at him once he has landed.
Phillip: What did I do THIS time?
ART: I had one of my clones break the stARTer in your Aston mARTin! This is what happens when you skip ART! It meets every single day at 8AM sharp except for Easter and Christmas. Why weren't you there, you didn't turn in the plaid still-life painting of my cowboy hat!
Phillip: When will you figure it out Doctor Anderson!? I was an Accounting major, I didn't even NEED an Art class for my field of study!!!!
Doctor Anderson's facial expression becomes more serious and angry looking at this point.
ART: Don't be ridiculous, everyone has to have ART in order to graduate! You've failed ART for several years in a row and you currently have a grade of zero for this semester!
Phillip: I'm not even IN school right now. I graduated 5 years ago!
ART: I'll keep enrolling you each semester until you decide to accept the same fate as everyone else on planet eARTh, there's no getting out of going to ART!
Phillip Nunzio facepalms in frustration.
ART: Tell me this, do you play that video game with all the cARToonish townspeople where you can put them in houses and direct their moods?
Phillip: Yeah! I play The Sims all the time!
ART: I had a feeling you did. My clone found a copy of The Sims in your vehicle's glove compARTment. With you being a fan of The Sims my opponent at All Stars, Simon, probably has your support then.
Phillip: Anyone would have my support against you. I'm tired of you pestering me day in and day out about attending your stupid class!
ART: Let me impART you on a little secret. My ART clones are always watching you. If you ever see a heavyset man with a white beard, odds are it's one of millions of clones of me, sent to see if you will pARTake in ART or not. Especially in December. I send them all out to become depARTment store Santas to make sure everyone who skipped ART gets an ART test instead of Christmas presents that year.
Phillip: Are we done here? Because I'm never going to your art class.
ART: Oh yes you are. You see, my Board Of Regrets has the power to do to YOU what the person playing The Sims can do to the townspeople. Not even Simon can save you from attending ART because my Board Of Regrets and I will simulate the worst day of your life tomorrow if you skip ART again.
Phillip: And what happens if that Simon guy defeats you?
Many seconds pass before Doctor Anderson is able to provide a response.
ART: Simon cannot thwART me on his best day. He never went to ART! I'll bring my plaid laptop with me to our match on a utility cART and fire up a copy of "The Sims: ART Version", sold exclusively only to ART professors, and delete everything in Simon's life slowly one by one until he wholeheARTedly admits he cannot win.
Freeze frame. A second narrator, completely different from that other one at the stARt of this RP, begins talking now. He sounds an awful lot like the narrator from The Superfriends.... because tributes are also a form of ART.
Narrator 2: Will Doctor Anderson succeed in his most diabolical attempt EVER at convincing longtime rival Phillip Nunzio to attend his Art class? When will anyone find out how an Opossum managed to get a grade higher than a perfect score in Art class? What will be the next simple task that it takes Larry Aloha exactly 10 hours to do? Will the handler ever RP as this character again? All this and a bag of chips, in the next exciting episode.... Whenever that will be.
Fade to green plaid.
[YOUTUBE]RFvYSsbkq3k[/YOUTUBE]
Scene zooms in on a window on the 64th floor of the tower, revealing a meeting room with a brown plaid table and black plaid chairs, each chair has its back facing the camera so no one can see who is sitting in them yet. The chair at the head of the table is marked "Chairman".
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Tower of ART.... The sinister group of supervillains known as The Board Of Regrets, made up of former ART students who all got excellent grades in Doctor Anderson's class, have been summoned for yet another meeting by Doctor Anderson himself. They hold these meetings daily for the sole purpose of coming up with ways to torture the students who skipped ART class that day to make them regret not going to ART. See what I did there? Yep, I'm that kind of narrator. I like puns. I'm going to stop talking now though because I'm an irrelevant random voice who was hired to only speak this one line so that Doctor Anderson's sidekick Larry "10 Hours" Aloha doesn't have to akwardly state the group's backstory during the meeting for the benefit of the person reading this RP on the internet.... because that would just be weird. You know, as weird as bringing in a pointless narrator for a grand total of one line in the RP never to be heard from again when another descriptive paragraph would have sufficed. Oh well. I needed the money, gotta be able to pay rent and stuff. Doctor Anderson also wanted me to tell you that breaking the 4th wall is a lovely form of ART. I did my job, Doctor Anderson! They know who The Board Of Regrets are. Ok, I'm gone now, goodbye.
The black plaid office chair to the right of the one marked "Chairman" turns around. We see a curly haired government professor with a big mustache and very large glasses wearing khakis as well as a blue button-up shirt. This is Larry "10 Hours" Aloha, also known as Doctor Anderson's sidekick, who takes exactly 10 hours to do even the simplest of tasks.
Aloha: Alright I have to take attendance before Doctor Anderson gets here. No talking until I'm done, it'll take me 10 hours to do this otherwise. So.... first on the attendance list is.... Larry "10 Hours" Aloha.... That's me! I'm here. Next we have the Opossum.... Giant Opossum, are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the left of the one marked "Chairman" turns around revealing a very overweight Opossum. The Opossum stands up on its hind legs and hisses at Aloha.
Aloha: Ok, what about.... The Bee Who Got A "B" In ART For Being A Bee.... are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the left of The Opossum's chair turns around, a seemingly normal ordinary bee is walking around on the left armrest of the chair. It buzzes and then sits still for a moment before walking around on the armrest some more.
Aloha: Then that just leaves.... Some guy named Allan Nursing who thinks he is a Hammer Brother from world 8-3 in Super Mario Brothers 1. Are you here?
The black plaid office chair to the right of Aloha turns around, revealing a guy wearing a cosplay outfit of a Super Mario Brothers "Hammer Brother" although he messed up because it's clearly not the Super Mario Brothers 1 "Hammer Brother" design, it's the Super Mario Brothers 3 "Boomerang Brother" design, but he kept wearing it after having been told long ago by Doctor Anderson that his cosplay suit was a form of ART. This NPC looks like that guy from 2 And A Half Men. I don't know which one, does it matter which one it is? He's just an NPC who's literally never going to speak in this entire RP so does it matter what he looks like? Ok, good, seeing as though you won't get more of a description than that because you didn't go to ART class this morning.
Aloha: That's everyone. Doctor Anderson should be here any moment now. He said he had a big announcement.... Maybe we are finally inducting a new member....?
At that moment a large heavyset man with a long white beard, a black cowboy hat, glasses, black cowboy boots, blue jeans, and a green plaid buttoned up shirt breaks down the door to the meeting room. It's Doctor ART Anderson himself who broke down the door. The door is plaid too, the same shade of brown plaid as the meeting room table.
ART: Ok, now it's time for you all to learn all sorts of things about ART!
Aloha: Sir, this isn't one of your classes, this is a Board Of Regrets meeting, remember? I spent 10 hours walking up the steps to get here, we need to begin.
ART: Oh, yes! That's right! Very good Mister Aloha! Let's stART! I have big announcement concerning the ART depARTment!
The Opossum hisses, the bee begins flying around the room, the hammer brother cosplayer throws a "hammer" which is actually a prop boomerang instead of a prop hammer, at the bee as the bee flies past the Opossum but the cosplayer misses the bee.
Aloha: What is it, sir?
Doctor Anderson sits down in the black plaid office chair at the head of the table, the one marked "Chairman".
ART: I've decided to take a week off from teaching ART. My ART students think they are so smART, but I have a plan! I'm going to become a wrestler in Wrestlezone Championship Wrestling!
Aloha: What!?
ART: I was spying on one of my ART students at Wal-mART while he was buying a box of pop tARTs, he mentioned a special All Stars show coming soon where anyone can pARTicipate!
Aloha: I'm not so sure about this, sir. Do you know how to wrestle?
ART: Sure I do! Wrestling is a fine form of ART! Just wait until you hear the best pART! This way I can teach a lesson to those students who keep skipping ART each morning, I'll make them regret not going to ART! I'll defeat their heroes in the wrestling ring, stARTing with that fool, Simon!
Aloha: I can't say that I support this idea, sir.
ART: Well, I'm the Chairman Of The Board Of Regrets! No one can tell me what to do! What about the rest of you?
The bee is still flying around the room, it flies past the Opossum, who tries to catch it with its claws. The Opossum hisses angrily at the bee.
ART: See, even my best student ever, the Opossum who earned a prestigious 112% in ART thinks it's a good idea!
Aloha: Sir, I don't think he was agreeing with-
ART: The Opossum has spoken, and as my most successful student ever earning a 112% in ART he is your superior and I say the decision is final, I will wrestle against those young upstARTs in the All Stars show! Do you dare question The Chairman Of The Board Of Regrets?
Aloha: No, sir.
ART: Good. Then, let's move onto the next order of business. From now on, I want minutes from these meetings to contain plaid chARTs. Remember that before we depART, we must leave soon or else we will be late.
Aloha: Late for what?
ART: To show people on the other side of the city what happens when you skip ART! Especially Phillip Nunzio, who never turned in the plaid still-life painting of my cowboy hat, he has now failed ART for the 9th semester in a row. I have to inform him that his grade is still sitting at zero yet we are halfway into the semester already at this point. Come, Aloha! To the ART-Copter!!!!
Doctor Anderson and Aloha run offscreen. The Opossum is still trying to catch the bee as it flies circles above the Opossum. The hammer brother cosplayer throws several "hammers" at the bee, still missing each time. The Shinra music stops playing here. Scene fades out.
====
Fade in to a street intersection downtown in the city. A blonde female Fashion Model NPC is standing on the sidewalk wearing a very expensive looking outfit, waiting for the Walk signal to appear. A brown haired male Sales Rep NPC dressed in a fancy business suit walks up to the pedestrian crossing next to the Fashion Model NPC finishing a call on his cellphone. Neither of them have names because they didn't go to ART class either.
Sales Rep NPC: Ok. I'll check on your tariff rates tomorrow. Yes. Goodbye.
He hangs up his phone and puts it away as the female Fashion Model NPC looks in his direction.
Sales Rep NPC: Lovely weather we're having today.
Fashion Model NPC: Very. It's so much nicer than the cold weather we were having a month ago.
Sales Rep NPC: You wouldn't happen to have a dime, would you? I'm out of change and I was going to get a bag of chips from the vending machine when I get back to the office.
Fashion Model NPC: Let me check in my purse, I might have one right next to the.... OH MY GOSH!!!! WHAT IS THAT!?!?!?!?!!? RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
The Fashion Model NPC runs offscreen to the right, screaming at the top of her lungs. The Sales Rep NPC looks to his left to see what caused her sudden change of tone. He now looks terrified too and runs offscreen to the right as well. Camera angle shifts to the left and we see a blue plaid helicopter in the distance flying into view. It's the ART-Copter. The boss theme from Sonic 3 plays now and remains on repeat for the rest of the following scenes.
[YOUTUBE]NVnn0fVoiV4[/YOUTUBE]
The blue plaid ART-Copter is seen flying closer into view. It is armed with a huge paintball cannon that is shooting green plaid paintballs at everything in sight. Dozens of civillians are running away from it on the streets while others are taping the chaos on their smARTphones. Angle shifts to a view of Doctor Anderson and Aloha inside the ART-Copter.
ART: How much longer until we get to Phillip's apARTment?
Aloha: Do you still want me to stop for ice cream on the way there?
ART: A stalwART sidekick always gets his Chairman ice cream.
Aloha: Then it's going to take me 10 hours to get all the way back to the other side of town. We passed the ice cream place a LONG time ago!
ART: Wait, isn't that Phillip Nunzio up there? Go fly us up to that pARking lot.
Aloha: Oh, come on! That one didn't even have "art" in it!
The song keeps playing as the angle shifts to an accountant in his early 30's walking over to his vehicle, an Aston mARTin DB7. He turns the ignition, but the car will not stART. He gets out of the car and takes out his iPhone as the ART-Copter flies into view, it is directly to Phillip's right by the time he begins speaking on the phone. Doctor Anderson has leaned his head out the window.
Phillip: Hey, it's me, Phillip. I'm going to be late coming back home. The car won't start.
ART: Should've gone to ART!
Phillip turns around and sees the ART-Copter.
Phillip: I'll call you back.... Yeah, it's Doctor Anderson.... Again.
He puts the iPhone away as Doctor Anderson leaps out of the ART-Copter, pointing to Phillip and laughing at him once he has landed.
Phillip: What did I do THIS time?
ART: I had one of my clones break the stARTer in your Aston mARTin! This is what happens when you skip ART! It meets every single day at 8AM sharp except for Easter and Christmas. Why weren't you there, you didn't turn in the plaid still-life painting of my cowboy hat!
Phillip: When will you figure it out Doctor Anderson!? I was an Accounting major, I didn't even NEED an Art class for my field of study!!!!
Doctor Anderson's facial expression becomes more serious and angry looking at this point.
ART: Don't be ridiculous, everyone has to have ART in order to graduate! You've failed ART for several years in a row and you currently have a grade of zero for this semester!
Phillip: I'm not even IN school right now. I graduated 5 years ago!
ART: I'll keep enrolling you each semester until you decide to accept the same fate as everyone else on planet eARTh, there's no getting out of going to ART!
Phillip Nunzio facepalms in frustration.
ART: Tell me this, do you play that video game with all the cARToonish townspeople where you can put them in houses and direct their moods?
Phillip: Yeah! I play The Sims all the time!
ART: I had a feeling you did. My clone found a copy of The Sims in your vehicle's glove compARTment. With you being a fan of The Sims my opponent at All Stars, Simon, probably has your support then.
Phillip: Anyone would have my support against you. I'm tired of you pestering me day in and day out about attending your stupid class!
ART: Let me impART you on a little secret. My ART clones are always watching you. If you ever see a heavyset man with a white beard, odds are it's one of millions of clones of me, sent to see if you will pARTake in ART or not. Especially in December. I send them all out to become depARTment store Santas to make sure everyone who skipped ART gets an ART test instead of Christmas presents that year.
Phillip: Are we done here? Because I'm never going to your art class.
ART: Oh yes you are. You see, my Board Of Regrets has the power to do to YOU what the person playing The Sims can do to the townspeople. Not even Simon can save you from attending ART because my Board Of Regrets and I will simulate the worst day of your life tomorrow if you skip ART again.
Phillip: And what happens if that Simon guy defeats you?
Many seconds pass before Doctor Anderson is able to provide a response.
ART: Simon cannot thwART me on his best day. He never went to ART! I'll bring my plaid laptop with me to our match on a utility cART and fire up a copy of "The Sims: ART Version", sold exclusively only to ART professors, and delete everything in Simon's life slowly one by one until he wholeheARTedly admits he cannot win.
Freeze frame. A second narrator, completely different from that other one at the stARt of this RP, begins talking now. He sounds an awful lot like the narrator from The Superfriends.... because tributes are also a form of ART.
Narrator 2: Will Doctor Anderson succeed in his most diabolical attempt EVER at convincing longtime rival Phillip Nunzio to attend his Art class? When will anyone find out how an Opossum managed to get a grade higher than a perfect score in Art class? What will be the next simple task that it takes Larry Aloha exactly 10 hours to do? Will the handler ever RP as this character again? All this and a bag of chips, in the next exciting episode.... Whenever that will be.
Fade to green plaid.
- Status
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