Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline is Friday, February 13th at 11:59PM CST. Extensions available upon request.
All-Stars IV: Willy DuWitt vs. Waldo Williams
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
- Start date
- Status
Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
A child genius I was. My life was before me. I could have been president of the United States. Born in San Francisco as an only child I hoped for the best.
Then that happened. I can't begin to tell you the wave of emotions I had. I was bullied and shy one day and the next I could take on the world.
I told my parents. That was not a good idea. I was immediately whisked away to an asylum and I was constantly assessed. My time with the Sentient Protoplasm Against Colonial Encroachment was small but the damage it's done on my life was astronomical. They all tell me it was a dream, but it was not.
That was twenty seven years ago. Now I'm in my late thirties and far larger than the normal person. I walk down the street and people mock my glasses. hey four eyes. Seriously, who the hell still uses that? I knew a duck with four arms and one eye and he was the best damn fighter I have ever saw. A duck. A DUCK. Can you believe that? They didn't. I did.
What about other animals? They all pale in comparison to the Captain. Bucky, Captain Bucky O'Hare. Mutants, aliens and toads daren't go to him. Then there was the amazing Jenny. That's when I realised a woman could kick ass.
How will I fight? How do I cope? How will it end? I just want to go back to the aniverse where I was a hero. Before that, I will fight in WZCW and I will show that the legend of Willy DuWitt will never....
A LOUD EXPLOSION TAKES PLACE. Willy is thrown to the floor as he looks up and sees a silver robot with one eye.
It can't be?
Calamity and Woe!
Blinky?
Willy looks into the eye of the robot as the glance is shared.
I've found him Captain!
Scene to black.
Then that happened. I can't begin to tell you the wave of emotions I had. I was bullied and shy one day and the next I could take on the world.
I told my parents. That was not a good idea. I was immediately whisked away to an asylum and I was constantly assessed. My time with the Sentient Protoplasm Against Colonial Encroachment was small but the damage it's done on my life was astronomical. They all tell me it was a dream, but it was not.
That was twenty seven years ago. Now I'm in my late thirties and far larger than the normal person. I walk down the street and people mock my glasses. hey four eyes. Seriously, who the hell still uses that? I knew a duck with four arms and one eye and he was the best damn fighter I have ever saw. A duck. A DUCK. Can you believe that? They didn't. I did.
What about other animals? They all pale in comparison to the Captain. Bucky, Captain Bucky O'Hare. Mutants, aliens and toads daren't go to him. Then there was the amazing Jenny. That's when I realised a woman could kick ass.
How will I fight? How do I cope? How will it end? I just want to go back to the aniverse where I was a hero. Before that, I will fight in WZCW and I will show that the legend of Willy DuWitt will never....
A LOUD EXPLOSION TAKES PLACE. Willy is thrown to the floor as he looks up and sees a silver robot with one eye.
It can't be?
Calamity and Woe!
Blinky?
Willy looks into the eye of the robot as the glance is shared.
I've found him Captain!
Scene to black.
red ass skull muhfukkah
Dooooooooooooom
Leon Kensworth stands in a locker room in front of some lockers. Waldo Williams walks up with his locker and slams it down in front of the other lockers in the locker room.
Leon: Waldo Will-
Waldo: SHUT UP, NERD! My one and only purpose in life is bash guys like you in the head and shove you in this locker. My whole life I've been doing this, see a kid with a comic book walking down the street; into the locker. Guy at McDonald's has a Star Wars tattoo, get my Big Mac and shove him in my locker. But my hunger for nerdstruction lately has not been satiated. So I had an idea, a brilliant plan so smart that for a few days I wondered if I should lock myself in this locker because I may be a nerd. So I called the ultimate nerd and he built me this locker.
Waldo slaps it and then Leon in the face.
Waldo: This locker transcends time and space and will allow me to travel back in time to crush the nerds of the past. Leon, join me in my mission to smash all NERRRRRRDS!
Waldo shoves Leon in the locker and hops in himself. He closes the door. The locker shakes and rumbles. When it stops Waldo opens the door to find himself in Renaissance Era Italy, in the home of Leonardi da Vinci. Leonardo himself if working at his desk drawing. Waldo shushes Leon.
Waldo: Inventing shit is stupid you Italian piece of shit. Did you invent pizza?
Leonardo: No...
Waldo: You know why you didn't? Because only someone rad as fuck could invent pizza not some dumb NEERRRRRRRD like YOU!
Waldo grabs da Vinci by the head and noogies him before throwing him into his locker and closing it.
Waldo and Leon go back in the locker and close it. It rumbles and shakes. When it stops, Waldo opens the door. He finds himself in Germany in the 1930's or whenever the fuck Einstein lived. Einstein is standing by a window, looking out.
Waldo: Whatcha thinking about? How much your mustache smells like your ass!?
Einstein turns around and stares at Waldo.
Waldo: You may have invented the atomic bomb, but I invented the atomic WEDGIEEEEEEEE!
Waldo grabs Einstein's underwear and pulls it up over his head.
Waldo: What's your ass smell like; your mustache?
Waldo throws him in the locker and closes it. He opens it and heads back in with Leon.
Leon: Why am I here? I haven't said anything in two segments.
Waldo: Shut the fuck up Leon! The writer thought he might use you but couldn't come up with anything and is too lazy to go back and edit you out even though it would take the same amount of time it took to write this sentence, you ******ed fucking dick!
The locker rumbles and shakes and when it stops Waldo opens the door to find himself in a garage in the 80's in California somewhere. Bill Gates is tweaking a computer at his desk.
Waldo: Hey Bill! Windows 98 is fucking gay. So gay I bet it makes your nipples so hard and now I'm gonna twist them and rub them.
Waldo gives Bill a purple nurple and throws him in the locker and closes it. He opens it and closes it with himself and Leon in. It rumbles and shakes. When it stops, Waldo opens the door and finds himself back in the locker room he started in.
Leon: Where did all those guys go?
Waldo: They're in those lockers behind you. Eternally locked in my lockers of torment so I can bash 'em anytime I want.
Leon: What about Willy DuWitt?
Waldo: Huh? Oh yeah more like Willy DuShit, right? Yeah I'm gonna kick his ass and throw him in this locker.
Leon: Where in time will you send him?
Waldo: Ummmmmmmmmmmmm aaahhhhhhhhhhh probablyyyyyyyyyyyy into the ass of a T-Rex or somethinnnnnng.
Leon: Why a T-Rex?
Waldo: Because they were the nerd killers before time, man. Killing those little pussy Littlefoot and Peatree and that bitch Sarah. Anyway this guys likes like rabbits or something or a cartoon about rabbits? That's dumb, rabbits are dumb, he's dumb, this company is dumb for booking a dumb guy who likes dumb rabbits and dumb stuff like that. He's a dead dumb rabbit dumbing dumb guy dummy.
Silence for a moment.
Leon: Now what?
Waldo: Now I sacrifice you to the Old Ones.
Leon: Oh alright. Wait-what?
Waldo: Yeah remember that guy Diabolos that was here and there was the guy that everyone thought got eaten by that tentacle monster thing? Yeah that was me and I totally kicked that things ass and then chowed down on it's flesh like some tasty burrito Doritos.
Leon: Dorito burrito you mean.
Waldo: Sure.
Waldo stabs Leon in the eye with a knife that's blade is all swiggly. He cuts down his whole face and rips it off. He draws some triangles with the blood and places Leon's body in it. He kicks him in the dick and a large claw bursts through the ceiling and pulls Leon into the infinite void as the scene fades to black.
Leon: Waldo Will-
Waldo: SHUT UP, NERD! My one and only purpose in life is bash guys like you in the head and shove you in this locker. My whole life I've been doing this, see a kid with a comic book walking down the street; into the locker. Guy at McDonald's has a Star Wars tattoo, get my Big Mac and shove him in my locker. But my hunger for nerdstruction lately has not been satiated. So I had an idea, a brilliant plan so smart that for a few days I wondered if I should lock myself in this locker because I may be a nerd. So I called the ultimate nerd and he built me this locker.
Waldo slaps it and then Leon in the face.
Waldo: This locker transcends time and space and will allow me to travel back in time to crush the nerds of the past. Leon, join me in my mission to smash all NERRRRRRDS!
Waldo shoves Leon in the locker and hops in himself. He closes the door. The locker shakes and rumbles. When it stops Waldo opens the door to find himself in Renaissance Era Italy, in the home of Leonardi da Vinci. Leonardo himself if working at his desk drawing. Waldo shushes Leon.
Waldo: Inventing shit is stupid you Italian piece of shit. Did you invent pizza?
Leonardo: No...
Waldo: You know why you didn't? Because only someone rad as fuck could invent pizza not some dumb NEERRRRRRRD like YOU!
Waldo grabs da Vinci by the head and noogies him before throwing him into his locker and closing it.
Waldo and Leon go back in the locker and close it. It rumbles and shakes. When it stops, Waldo opens the door. He finds himself in Germany in the 1930's or whenever the fuck Einstein lived. Einstein is standing by a window, looking out.
Waldo: Whatcha thinking about? How much your mustache smells like your ass!?
Einstein turns around and stares at Waldo.
Waldo: You may have invented the atomic bomb, but I invented the atomic WEDGIEEEEEEEE!
Waldo grabs Einstein's underwear and pulls it up over his head.
Waldo: What's your ass smell like; your mustache?
Waldo throws him in the locker and closes it. He opens it and heads back in with Leon.
Leon: Why am I here? I haven't said anything in two segments.
Waldo: Shut the fuck up Leon! The writer thought he might use you but couldn't come up with anything and is too lazy to go back and edit you out even though it would take the same amount of time it took to write this sentence, you ******ed fucking dick!
The locker rumbles and shakes and when it stops Waldo opens the door to find himself in a garage in the 80's in California somewhere. Bill Gates is tweaking a computer at his desk.
Waldo: Hey Bill! Windows 98 is fucking gay. So gay I bet it makes your nipples so hard and now I'm gonna twist them and rub them.
Waldo gives Bill a purple nurple and throws him in the locker and closes it. He opens it and closes it with himself and Leon in. It rumbles and shakes. When it stops, Waldo opens the door and finds himself back in the locker room he started in.
Leon: Where did all those guys go?
Waldo: They're in those lockers behind you. Eternally locked in my lockers of torment so I can bash 'em anytime I want.
Leon: What about Willy DuWitt?
Waldo: Huh? Oh yeah more like Willy DuShit, right? Yeah I'm gonna kick his ass and throw him in this locker.
Leon: Where in time will you send him?
Waldo: Ummmmmmmmmmmmm aaahhhhhhhhhhh probablyyyyyyyyyyyy into the ass of a T-Rex or somethinnnnnng.
Leon: Why a T-Rex?
Waldo: Because they were the nerd killers before time, man. Killing those little pussy Littlefoot and Peatree and that bitch Sarah. Anyway this guys likes like rabbits or something or a cartoon about rabbits? That's dumb, rabbits are dumb, he's dumb, this company is dumb for booking a dumb guy who likes dumb rabbits and dumb stuff like that. He's a dead dumb rabbit dumbing dumb guy dummy.
Silence for a moment.
Leon: Now what?
Waldo: Now I sacrifice you to the Old Ones.
Leon: Oh alright. Wait-what?
Waldo: Yeah remember that guy Diabolos that was here and there was the guy that everyone thought got eaten by that tentacle monster thing? Yeah that was me and I totally kicked that things ass and then chowed down on it's flesh like some tasty burrito Doritos.
Leon: Dorito burrito you mean.
Waldo: Sure.
Waldo stabs Leon in the eye with a knife that's blade is all swiggly. He cuts down his whole face and rips it off. He draws some triangles with the blood and places Leon's body in it. He kicks him in the dick and a large claw bursts through the ceiling and pulls Leon into the infinite void as the scene fades to black.
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