The Cock and Bull Tavern!
So you didnt make it to All or Nothing after all?
He asked, sitting in front of the robot. It is 7:30PM. On the dot in fact, there is a good reason for the two people to be in this location at this time, as the posters on the wall of the public bar show, karaoke starts at 7:35PM. A small crowd has already gathered at the stage with pints in hand, urging each other to go and sing a tune, all knowing that it will be the same faces as last week singing the same songs as last week.
Humans are as repetitive as Machines!
The man from the train station looks at the crowd that S.H.I.T had indicated, gave a disinterested shrug and turned back to the robot. He was a thin man, in a black leather jacket with a white t-shirt, black jeans and boots, a handlebar moustache covered most of his face and his hair was brown and immaculately styled, combed back over his own head. He took a sip from his drink, a fine beer, of German vintage, the brew left a foam in his fantastic moustache.
Guess they are. He said with a small grin. Some more predictable than others though, once you get to know them of course. I ask again, you didnt make it to all or nothing after all?
Relatively unnoticed from the corner where they are located, S.H.I.T surveys the establishment. The place is an all wooden affair, wooden tables, chairs, wooden bar, wooden stage, although the walls are painted white, spoiling in S.H.I.Ts eyes what should have been perfect monotony.
Negative! It finally replied. Alex Steele won the match and advanced!
Happens! He said with another shrug. Multi man matches, chaos everywhere, I guess the positive is you didnt get pinned though.
S.H.I.T lost the match, that is fact and all that is important!
I guess, I guess. He said and sighed. I am partly to blame of course, got you all prepped up against Internet Warrior and Cooper and Overlast only to leave you on your own when it really mattered. He shifted in his seat and had another sip of his drink.
S.H.I.T made that decision!
With a bit of influence I might add. He chuckled. Dont look at me like that. The robot hadnt changed its features at all, it having no noticeable ones to speak of, but he felt he had to say it anyway. Of course that voice had a source, right behind you, I thought you were ready to strike out on your own, to put into practice everything me, Neville and Gustav have taught you. Turns out that left alone your as mindless as ever.
S.H.I.T competes! That is all!
Yeah you keep saying that, and then getting beat up and carried out of the ring. He looked at the stage and sighed again. Karaokes late again, should have guessed.
Predictable!
Thing is, that Alex Steele, he may not be the best wrestler in the company, I dont know obviously, but he always seems to have a game plan. He had one against you. He points at S.H.I.T for emphasis. That game plan was to stay the hell out of your way and take down someone else. He leans back in his chair, S.H.I.T hasnt moved in all this time. Even with your mindless, one dimensional assault, youre a fairly dangerous competitor.
S.H.I.T was built to be a dangerous competitor!
Yeah, but your not unstoppable, as has been proved by anyone with enough brains, Jack Skinner for example, Alex Bowen also knew how exactly to lure you into that attack with the chainsaw.
S.H.I.Ts hand almost instinctively went up to the patched up bodywork that Bowen had not all that long ago made a wreck out of.
Internet Warrior, he had the brains to beat you, the guys had a rough bit of luck but hes smart, hell get there if he keeps up and actually turns up. A smart fighters better than a tough one, the difference on that day was you."
S.H.I.Ts head tilts to the side.
He wasnt expecting you to take risks, before then, you didnt do it, you edged him. Then you chopped him in the head. I guess you could say. . . . You hit the mark He guffawed heartily at his own joke, its a strange high pitched laughter that anyone else would feel akward around, especially when he slapped his leg, spilling fine german beer all over his lap, still the laughter continues for what seems like an eternity, finally however seeing that S.H.I.T hasnt reacted at all to his joke he carries on. You watch any of these wrestlers, some of them might look like the wrestle the same to a casual observer, but every guy there knows his opponent and fights accordingly Behind him the first victims of the night climb onto the karaoke stage.
Nobody expected you and Skinner to work well, but you did, while Skinner was giving them all sorts of trouble you came crashing in and dealt out some serious punishment. He smiled gleefully. That I enjoyed watching. Unlike those two, butchering a David Bowen classic. He motions toward the singers, who are currently destroying a rendition of Space Oddity.
Is David Bowen related to the Deranged Alex Bowen?
God I hope not. He laughed. Oh my! The family reunions would be worth watching though. He looks again at the singers. I guess we were all young once.
Not necessarily!
Yeah right. He replied, noncommittally.
S.H.I.T will wrestle Justin Cooper at After Shock 2!
Interesting. He takes a huge gulp of his beer.
S.H.I.T has defeated Justin Cooper in the past!
Yes, yes, in a tag team match. The same principal still stands as it did in that match however, he has as much to gain, if not more than you do by winning on that show. I believe he already has a Mayhem Title shot. Hell be wanting to go into that match with a bit of momentum. As you know, Alex Bowen is tough to crack at the best of times.
S.H.I.T will apply the same principles and moves that it used the last time to defeat Justin Cooper!
Or not! You said yourself, in their own way humans are predictable, you better damn well predict that Cooper is ready for that again, hes no novice. Your tough, youve proved that, everyone who faces you whether they win or lose winds up hurting. He leans forward again, staring intently now. You just need guidance, with Gustav on the run or wherever he is youve been flapping about like an angry goose in matches and sitting about in your box outside of them.
The robot looks like it is going to reply but is soon cut off again.
You get a win and think your on top of the world, then you go back to your old ways, not caring about who your against so long as your competing, making childish comments about Johnny Scumms mother, as hilarious as I find them.
Are you offering your guidance to S.H.I.T?
Might not be me, might be Neville or another one of our friends. Guidance is a start, theres more to do, so much more. Maybe you could use a partner, I dont know. Ill look into it.
S.H.I.T will accept your recommendations!
He gives a resigned sigh.
Well, thats enough of this serious bollocks, dont you think? He stands up. Youve done well, for what is essentially a child, but the karaoke stage is empty, and I just cant have that. Time to have some fun, like Ive been telling you to. Taking S.H.I.T by the arm he leads the machine over to the stage. Sending the robot up first he goes to speak to the man running the show, after a short conversation he comes back to the stage and stands next to S.H.I.T. You just sing along to those words, you can read right?
Affirmative!
The music kicks in and many of the patrons, recognising the song look at the odd duo on stage and start to chuckle. The singing is as out of tune as youd expect from two creatures with no rythym at all, but that doesnt seem to matter to anybody.
Young man, there's no need to feel down.
S.H.I.T SAID, YOUNG MAN, PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND!
"I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
S.H.I.T SAID, YOUNG MAN, BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A NEW TOWN
"There's no need. . to. . be. . unhappy."
THERE IS NO NEED TO BE UNHAPPY!
They both do five pelvic thrusts in time to the beat of the song. Like this.
*Thrust*
*Thrust*
*Thrust*
*Thrust*
*Thrust*
It's fun to stay at ze VY-M-C-A.
He does the correct movements for this sequence. S.H.I.T mimics them poorly.
"It's fun to stay at ze VY-M-C-A.
IT IS FUN TO STAY AT THE VY-M-C-A!
The song continues to play and the man and the robot obviously get the loudest cheers of the night from the rowdy customers, even when he drags S.H.I.T up again for a seventh encore they are met with the rapturous applause befitting there fine performance.
