Harrys: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall.
"Come On" by Waterproof Blonde hits, as Mike Ryder enters the arena. He steps out clad in his hoodie and looks around at the arena and the assembled fans. He takes a deep breath and throws back his hoodie, walking slowly to the ring and jogging up the ring steps. He poses briefly on the ropes before entering the ring.
Harrys: Introducing first, weighing in at 260 pounds, from the Streets of Memphis, Mike "The Assassin" Ryder!
Copeland: Well, we certainly saw some disturbing actions from Ryder toward his partner in this match. How can he and Christianson co-exist?
Cohen: There is passion in both of these excellent athletes, and despite their differences, I'm sure they can find a way to pick up a win tonight.
"Put On" by Young Jeezy begins playing, and Kyle Christianson begins to come to the ring. He walks out slowly, looking down. He looks up, shakes his head, and walks down the ramp. In the ring, he stares at his partner, before doing a standing back flip, seemingly proclaiming his dominance over Ryder.
Harrys: And his partner, weighing in at 235 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, "The One and Only" Kyle Christianson!
Copeland: You can see some one upsmanship occurring already. What's going to happen if these two continue to pull this during the match?
Cohen: I'm sure that these two will realize the importance of this match, and come together to win.
"Thunderhorse" by Dethklok plays in the arena. The lights flash on and off blue for a few moments, and then Shock bursts out, flexing his muscles. He lifts his arms over his head, bends forward and back, and throws his arms up as the lights flicker. He walks down to the ring and rolls in, repeating his performance with the lights. He stares down his opponents.
Harrys: Introducing their opponents, first, weighing in at 303 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York by way of Grand-Mere, Quebec, Canada, Shock!
Copeland: This man is a strong, impressive figure, and has shown what power he has in the ring. Outweighing his largest opponent by 40 pounds, how can Ryder and Christianson overcome?
Cohen: How many times are we going to go through this? Ryder and Christianson are two of the best athletes we have. Shock is just a hulking idiot, and his partner is a drunk. They'll get flattened in no time!
“Ladies and Gentleman” by Saliva hits, as Drake Callahan makes his way to the ring. He grins widely and high fives all the fans on his way down. As he enters the ring, he spread his arms wide, grinning. He raises his hand for Shock to high five, but is met with a cold state. Undeterred, he goes to the top rope and spreads his arms out again, gesturing for the crowd.
Harrys: And his partner, weighing in at 245 pounds, from Cleveland, Ohio, "The Prophet" Drake Callahan!
Copeland: And here's a young man who has caused some buzz backstage, showing up for several of his interview drunks! He's full of spirit, but I wonder what condition he's in for this match!
Cohen: I can tell you right now! He's probably drunk out of his mind. I hope he's not starting the match, because the second he gets in there, one move'll put him down for the count.
Drake heads to the outside, with his partner Shock beginning the match. Christianson and Ryder both seem to want to start the match, but eventually Ryder pushes Christianson back, and stepping out to begin the match.
Shock and Ryder circle each other for a moment, before locking up in the center of the ring. They struggle for a moment, until Shock backs off and whips Ryder into the ropes. He clotheslines him as Ryder runs back at him, and quickly follows to the ground, delivering several shots to Ryder’s head. He gets up and runs into the ropes, gaining momentum to deliver a running knee drop, which connects on Ryder.
Copeland: And it looks like the big man Shock is taking an early advantage here. Very little surprise there, partner.
Cohen: I’ll give you that Shock is impressive in stature, but the craftiness of Ryder will allow him to take advantage of an opening when he gets it.
Shock lifts Ryder up and whips him into the corner. He follows over and tags in Drake. Shock holds Ryder tightly at arm’s length as Drake goes to the second rope, leaping down and striking Ryder’s arm as he comes down. Shock exits the ring as Drake sets up a Russian legsweep on Ryder, taking him to the ground. Drake quickly locks in a chinlock as Ryder struggles. The ref checks for submission, but to no avail. Drake keeps the hold locked firmly for several seconds, but Ryder begins to inch his way towards the ropes, his arm outstretched. He soon reaches the rope and breaks the hold, to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Drake stands up as Ryder gets to his feet. Ryder leans against the ropes as Drake runs at him an attempt to hit a running clothesline, but Ryder leans down and grabs the rope, sending Drake spilling outside. Drake writhes in pain on the outside of the ring, as Ryder taunts the crowd. He follows to the outside as Drake is standing up. The ref has a count of one on both men as Ryder slams Drake’s face into the side of the ring, staggering Drake back. The ref reaches two, three, and Ryder whips Drake into the turnbuckle post. At four, Ryder pushes Drake back into the ring and covers him.
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Drake kicks out.
Copeland: It seems your prediction has come true, Jackie. Ryder saw an opportunity and took it, and now has the edge in this match.
Cohen: It didn’t take a genius to figure out that that drunk would miscalculate and wind up in a situation like this.
Back in the ring, Ryder whips Drake into a neutral corner and begins a series of punches to the head as Drake is stuck in the corner. Several land, until Ryder backs off and Drake staggers, falling to the ground. Ryder goes down to the ground and locks in an armbar, causing Drake to grimace in pain. They struggle for over a minute until Drake begins laboring toward the ropes, slowly pushing. He nearly reaches them, but Ryder pulls him back to the center of the ring. Drake struggles with his free arm, but gets it up and lands a punch on Ryder’s head. He lands several more and begins to rise. As he gets to his vertical base, he shakes off the armbar and retreats several steps away from Ryder, as the crowd cheers him. He stands opposite Ryder for a moment, then Ryder charges him. Drake, however, catches him an lifts him into a scoop powerslam. He falls on top of Ryder into a cover, but does not hook a leg.
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Ryder kicks out.
Copeland: And with that huge powerslam, it looks like Drake is back in this match!
Cohen: Don’t get yourself too excited now, Seabass. Everyone gets lucky sometime.
Both men are lying on the ground, dazed, as their respective partners call for tags. Ryder looks up to see Christianson calling for a tag, but looks almost unwilling to tag. Drake, meanwhile is getting closer to his corner. Ryder looks over his shoulder briefly and sees Shock tagged in, and at the same time reluctantly tags in Christianson, rolling to the outside of the ring.
Shock and Christianson quickly begin brawling in the center of the ring, throwing haymakers but neither falling. After several from each man, however, Christianson is staggered and Shock takes advantage with a short arm clothesline. Christianson staggers up, only to be hit with another, staggers up again, and is struck with a third. Shock covers him.
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Christianson kicks out.
Copeland: That powerful Shocking Combination nearly put Christianson down for the count!
Cohen: Will you chill out about those two already? I’m telling you, Shock cannot beat the intelligence and will of Christianson here.
In the corner, Ryder is calling for a tag and causing a disturbance, so the distracted referee goes to tell him to calm down. Meanwhile, Shock stands in the corner as Christianson staggers to his feet. He stomps the mat once, twice, and runs at Christianson, attempting to hit the Thunder Clap. With the ref’s back turned, however, Christianson ducks down and low blows Shock, causing Shock to stagger and fall to the ground. Christianson quickly covers him as the ref’s attention returns.
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Shock kicks out.
Copeland: And is that blatant cheating your idea of intelligence?
Cohen: Anything that gets the job done. Christianson’s ability to capitalize on the situations is definitely a sign of his skill and intelligence, yes.
With Shock downed, Christianson rises and stands above Shock, obviously looking to hit his finisher, the One and Only. Shock stands up, and Christians catches him in the lift, but Shock’s size forces Christianson to drop him. Shock quickly catches him in a DDT. Both men go down, but Shock lands hard and is not able to cover.
Both Drake and Ryder are calling for tags now, and Shock and Christianson crawl toward their partners. Shock is closer to Drake than Christianson is to Ryder, however, and makes the tag to the wild cheers of the fans. He quickly drags Christianson back into the center of the ring, lifts him up, and throws him into the ropes. On the rebound, he catches Ryder with a big boot, downing him. Drake goes to the top rope and poses for the fans, before hitting a diving elbow on Christianson. He covers him.
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Christianson kicks out.
Copeland: A narrow kickout on the part of Christianson there!
Cohen: Just like Ryder did last time, Christianson will catch Drake in a mistake and gain back his advantage..
Drake, full of energy, circles the ring and taunts, calling for the end. Christianson staggers up, and Drake tucks Christianson’s head between his legs, lifts him up, and sends him Crashing Down with a Texas Piledriver. He covers.
Copeland: This could be the end!
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At the count of two, Drake breaks the pin and stands with an odd look in his eye. He looks around the crowd, no longer grinning, but very serious.
Cohen: What the hell is this drunk thinking? He could have won! Idiot!
Drake looks down at Christianson, and in a fervor of energy, goes down to the ground and locks his legs in the figure four position over Christianson’s neck. Christian’s eyes widen with pain, but the vice grip around his neck barely allows him to scream.
Copeland: Oh my, he wants to make his opponent tap out! He could snap his neck with that devastating necklock, the Pleasure & Pain!
Cohen: That showboating drunk! He could seriously hurt his opponent here!
Ryder has had enough of watching, and runs into the ring to break the lock. Shock meets him in the ring, however, and quickly catches him in the Shock Bomb, downing him. He kicks him out of the ring and follows as Drake wrenches Christianson’s neck with the necklock. Christianson tries to inch his legs toward the ropes, but Drake pulls him back to the center of the ring. He wrenches harder, and a look of intensity enters his face. As he wrenches Christianson’s neck, the ref raises Christianson’s hand up and lets it falls once. He does so again, and it falls twice.
He raises Christianson’s hand one final time, and it drops solidly to the ground. The ref calls for the bell, and Drake lets the pressure off. He stands up and runs his hand over his face and through his hair. He raises his hand and the grin returns to his face. Shock rolls back into the ring and both have their hands raised by the ref. Christianson is out cold, and Ryder expresses his anger on the outside of the ring.
Harrys: Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your winners, Drake Callahan and Shock!
Copeland: And that’s it for this one! That devastating submission maneuver didn’t just cause a submission for young Drake Callahan, but knocked Kyle Christianson out cold!
Cohen: Listen to you! You don’t even care that a potentially great young wrestler may have just suffered a serious injury at the hands of this dangerous drunk!
Copeland: Regardless of the condition of Kyle Christianson, this win gives the team of Shock and Callahan a shot at the Tag Team Championship on the next episode of Meltdown. I’m sure we’re all excited to see how that turns out!
