klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 2017
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Booker T., Corey Graves, Michael Coleman’s
As is the case so often anymore around WWE (and thank goodness for that), we have some big matches announced coming in. This time around that would be Braun Strowman vs. John Cena, which had better end in some kind of a screwy finish. I mean, WWE wouldn’t possibly be stupid enough to do something else right? Let get to it.
As you might expect, we open with a moment of silence for the sixteenth anniversary of September 11. We also have a text crawl on the screen, talking about the importance of freedom.
Opening sequence.
Roman Reigns vs. Jason Jordan
Reigns won’t shake hands to start and John Cena is shown watching in the back. Feeling out process to start until Jordan charges into a right hand. The corner clotheslines are countered with the belly to belly and Jordan has a breather. One heck of a running clothesline lets Reigns hit the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered into the Crossface.
Back from a break with a headbutt dropping Jordan again, followed by a suplex to do the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another suplex (granted a different variety) sends Reigns flying. That great dropkick puts Reigns down again and it’s still another suplex for two more.
The running shoulder in the corner sets up some rolling northern lights suplexes for another near fall. We hit the Crossface but Reigns finally makes the rope (after nearly tapping on his face). Back up and Jordan’s shoulder goes into the post, setting up the Superman Punch. The spear is enough to put Jordan away at 15:18.
Reigns shakes his hand post match. Post break here’s Cena to call out Reigns for almost losing. He’d like an explanation, but recommends that Reigns keep it at about one sentence in the form of a catchphrase. Roman says he was out here having a great match, which Cena can’t do. Reigns has had more great matches in the last two years than Cena has had in his career. Reigns: “What do you think about that?” Cena: “You can’t pin this one on me guys. Reigns is burying himself.”
Cena talks about how Reigns has never been put in check before but Cena is going to show him what real failure is. The way things are going, No Mercy is going to be a cake walk. Cena goes to leave but Reigns calls him back in and says he finds it interesting that Cena wanted to fight him. The reason Cena is back is because Reigns is selling the tickets that Cena hasn’t been able to sell in five years. It must be because he can’t break into Hollywood. Reigns: “If you need help, I know a guy.” Cena says No Mercy is going to be like a drug test: Reigns isn’t passing.
Sasha Banks vs. Emma
Alexa Bliss is on commentary as Emma gets an early two off a sunset flip. Sasha gets the same off a backslide but gets blasted with a hard clothesline. Cue Nia Jax to join commentary as we take a break. Back with Emma getting taken down by a headscissors but hiptossing Banks into the corner. The five person commentary booth (geez) laughs off the idea of Emma winning the title because of all the hashtags. Banks has had enough of this and grabs the Bank Statement for the tap at 7:21.
Video on Strowman vs. Big Show from last week.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman knows that we’re coming up on a pay per view called No Mercy where Braun Strowman is going to have to do everything he can to take the title away from Brock. That’s interesting though because Braun is reminding Heyman of what Lesnar did in 2002, when he beat people like the Rock, Hulk Hogan, Rob Van Dam and the Undertaker. So is Strowman going to be ready to cross the line from sports entertainment into Suplex City?
Heyman doesn’t think so, but here’s Braun to interrupt. The fight is on and Brock grabs a German suplex (I believe the first time he’s ever done that to Strowman) but Braun no sells it, drawing a stunned look from Lesnar. That’s a great spot, though ignore the fact that Cena did something similar in 2014. Strowman lays him out with a chokeslam and the running powerslam as Heyman is terrified.
The announcers talk about the recent hurricanes and how you can help. Nothing wrong with that.
Goldust vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray comes up on screen to say that Goldust hides behind his paint but now he needs to run. Goldust slugs away to start and sends Bray outside for a freaking flip dive off the apron (YOU’RE TOO OLD FOR THAT DUSTIN!). Back in and Bray runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 2:08.
Post match Bray wipes the paint off of Goldust’s face, shouting that he’s just a man. Finn Balor comes in for the save.
Sheamus and Cesaro are ready to face Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins because as soon as adversity hits them, they’re going to break up again. They are the bar, and that is still a stupid catchphrase.
Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows
Rollins and Ambrose are on commentary. Actually hang on as the champs start brawling with both teams. No match.
Post break Rollins and Ambrose say they want both of those teams tonight. Angle says find partners and the DELETE chants are already starting.
Asuka is coming soon.
Nia Jax doesn’t seem pleased when Bliss comes up to say she doesn’t like it either. She wants Jax to be best friends again so they can have a classic together. Jax says she’ll think about it but that match is already made for next week. Bliss looks stunned.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Yes again. Elias sings about how Anaheim sucks and makes fun of the Mighty Ducks. Kalisto speeds things up to start but gets his shoulder wrenched, followed by a clothesline for two. We hit the armbar for a bit until Kalisto fights up for a tornado DDT. Kalisto misses a double knee shot off the top though and gets powerbombed in half. Drift Away is enough to give Elias the pin at 4:29.
John Cena vs. Braun Strowman
Graves says Cena is trying to take Strowman out like Reigns could never do. So Cena is out to put him on the shelf for several months now as Reigns already pinned Strowman and put him out for weeks. Cena gets thrown out to the floor to start and then whipped hard into the corner for good measure. Strowman hits a dropkick of all things and the announcers are stunned.
Cena’s right hands have no effect but he gets the feet up in the corner. A fall away slam sends Cena flying and we take a break. Back with Strowman being sent outside but running Cena over again. They head back inside with Cena getting him up for the AA but falling forward from the weight.
The Shuffle is broken up just as easily with a spinebuster giving Strowman two. Cena manages an AA, only to have Braun roll out to the floor. A run around the ring is cut off with Strowman picking up the steps and bouncing them off Cena’s head. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason so Strowman throws the steps inside for a powerslam, which is enough for the DQ at 13:58.
Rollins and Ambrose are looking for partners and run into Dean Malenko and Jamie Noble. Dean says they’re not dressed for it but the Hardys are. We have an eight man tag.
It’s time for MizTV and Miz and Maryse have a major announcement: Maryse is pregnant! Miz is so happy and the fans actually seem to be happy for him. He rips on the fans of course and has a speech but here’s Enzo Amore to interrupt. Miz goes on another heck of a rant, talking about how Enzo and Big Cass were supposed to be the big deal around here and even wrestled with John Cena on a pay per view.
Now Enzo is getting kicked off a tour bus and has to cheat to win. Miz was treated like Enzo to start and then reinvented himself to turn into a star who has been here for over ten years. Now Enzo thinks he can beat Neville? The cruiserweights are some of the most athletically gifted stars in the world and do things off the top rope that brings the WWE Universe to their feet. When Enzo goes to the top, he falls on his face. They work every day to get better while all Enzo cares about is hanging out with third rate rappers.
Enzo says Miz is just a copy of Chris Jericho and Ric Flair while he’s an original. He’s going to No Mercy to become Cruiserweight Champion and then he’ll come back to Raw and beat the paper Intercontinental Champion. That’s enough for Miz, who is willing to fight right now. He even dedicates the match to his unborn child but Enzo calls him S-A-W-F-T anyway. Enzo was picked apart here but his retort was good.
Miz vs. Enzo Amore
Non-title. Enzo runs out to the floor to start and says Miz’s wrestling abilities are heading straight to DVD. Miz chases him outside and rams Enzo’s head into the mat over and over again. Miz: “Hey Enzo. How you doin?” Back in and Miz brags a bit more, earning himself a crotching on the top. Miz hammers away again so Enzo asks if Miz is really the father. That’s enough for Miz, who beats on Enzo until the Miztourage joins in for the DQ at 3:07.
Enzo gets destroyed even more post match.
Post break, Neville laughs at Enzo, who can barely move.
Seth Rollins/Hardy Boyz vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows
It’s a brawl to start (well duh) until the Hardys work on Cesaro’s arm. That goes nowhere as it’s off to Sheamus, who gets sent outside along with Cesaro. Back with Gallows kicking Ambrose out to the floor as the heat segment begins. A double clothesline from Cesaro and Sheamus gets two and it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro. Dean gets him down with a backslide, only to get caught with the assisted White Noise for two.
Matt comes in for the save and gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Dean’s swinging neckbreaker doesn’t get him anywhere as he has to fight out of the Magic Killer. The rebound lariat drops Gallows but Sheamus cuts him off again. A backdrop is finally enough for the hot tag to Seth as things speed up. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Twist of Fate to Anderson and Gallows. Sheamus and Cesaro walk away though, leaving Anderson to take the windup knee and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:02.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Jason Jordan – Spear
Sasha Banks b. Emma – Bank Statement
Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
John Cena b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the steps
Enzo Amore b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows – Dirty Deeds to Anderson
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2017
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
I know I say it a lot but this week really is a major night for Smackdown as not only do we have three titles being defended on one show but the boss himself is in the house. Vince McMahon is making a rare TV appearance to deal with the Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens feud, which is slowly starting to get out of hand. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look back at Shane and Kevin’s issues with Owens getting beaten up again, meaning Vince has to come here for the intervention.
Here’s Owens to get things going. He welcomes us to the Kevin Owens Show by reminding us that he never fought back last week. Owens is going to own this whole place because he’s suing everyone around. Every week on the USA Network, it’s going to be Kevin Owens presenting the Kevin Owens Show starring Kevin Owens.
That means some changes around here, starting with Sami Zayn being fired. Then we’ll have Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips wearing the same suit. As in one suit for one person because they sound exactly the same on TV so there’s no point in having them separate. Oh and the Fashion Files are canceled because he doesn’t get it. Kevin wants to see Mr. McMahon right now but Here Comes the Money instead. Owens: “NO!!!!”
Never mind as it’s actually Dolph Ziggler trying out a new entrance. Kevin is relieved because it’s actually someone talented who works here so it couldn’t be Shane. Ziggler leaves and it’s Daniel Bryan taking his place. Daniel thinks Owens needs to chill so Owens offers him a job as a janitor. Bryan laughs it off because Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon.
Donate to the Red Cross to help with natural disasters.
US Title: AJ Styles vs. Tye Dillinger
AJ is defending. Dillinger was trying to answer the US Open Challenge two weeks ago when Baron Corbin attacked him. Styles gave him a shot to make up for it. AJ sends him into the corner to start but gets rammed into the post and we take an early break. Back with Dillinger getting powerbombed out of the corner to put both guys down.
It’s AJ up first with a forearm to knock him backwards but Baron Corbin comes out for a distraction. AJ gets in the Phenomenal Forearm to drop Baron but gets caught in the Tyebreaker for a heck of a near fall. Of note: the announcers make sure to point out that Tye didn’t have time to get his knee pad taken down for the full impact, thereby protecting the move just a bit. The Calf Crusher retains AJ’s title at 7:21.
AJ shakes his hand post match but Corbin gets pulled to the floor. Dillinger gets taken down as well, followed by Corbin laying Styles out on the floor. Corbin is answering the Open Challenge next week.
Rusev went back to Bulgaria recently and the people greeted him with shame and embarrassment. He came back as a loser but that’s not what he is. To get it back, he must break a legend.
Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal talks about getting inside his opponents’ heads and puts up a picture of Nakamura with a bit of a grimace on his face. That makes Jinder think of constipation and where the bathroom is. Another picture makes Mahal think Nakamura is still trying to rip off Michael Jackson. Each of these jokes literally has the Brothers rolling on the mat in fits of laughter.
Finally, one of Nakamura looking angry makes Mahal think he’s screaming about Godzilla. Mahal mocks people who are laughing at this because it’s nonsense (that helps a bit). These Americans will mock you and say that you look like Pikachu having a seizure. Mahal promises to win in Punjabi and that’s that. This was certainly different and Mahal is starting to feel more like a champion but this really wasn’t funny (though he did acknowledge that).
Kevin Owens is going over new ideas for the show (limos, private jet, new entrance video etc.) when he runs into Sami Zayn. Owens talks about driving through a blizzard with Sami after wrestling in an armory in front of 42 people. They made a promise that night to never do this again and get to the WWE together.
Well now Owens is about to own the biggest wrestling company in the world and Sami is about to be out of a job. Based on that, Owens is giving Sami permission to break that promise when the armories start calling and he’s having trouble making rent. Sami says he’d rather wrestle in those armories than ever work for Owens.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos
The Usos are defending and this is a street fight. Kofi Kingston and Big E. (no Xavier here this week) go for a table to start but Big E. is posted as we take a break. Back with the Usos in control and Big E. getting stomped down in the corner. Something like a Van Daminator with a superkick gets two on Big E. as Kofi gets beaten down on the floor. It’s kendo stick time with Big E. taking another beating. Jimmy: “IT’S TOO EASY!”
Kofi finally gets back in to clean house and start swinging the stick. He beats Jimmy down so badly that the stick is broken in half for a cool visual. Jimmy’s running chair shot only hits post and a top rope double stomp with the chair gives Kofi two. The trust fall onto the Usos is caught with Kofi being sent into the barricade. Big E. is back up though and goes nuts, sending Jey into and then over the table.
The Rock Bottom plants Jimmy and a belly to belly drops Jey as well. A double Warrior Splash gets two but Jimmy gets in a superkick. That goes nowhere and it’s the Big Ending for a near fall. Now it’s a double superkick for the same but Kofi breaks up the double Superfly Splash with Jey being shoved through a table at ringside for a nasty crash. That’s enough to set up the Midnight Hour to give New Day the titles back at 11:22.
Ronda Rousey is here.
Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Natalya
Natalya is defending and they’re in the ring when we get back. Carmella is on commentary and has James Ellsworth on a (leopard print) leash. Naomi does the dancing kicks to start and we’re off to an early break. Back with both trying a crossbody for a double knockdown. It’s Naomi up first with a kick to the face but the split legged moonsault misses. The Sharpshooter is broken up as Natalya is kicked to the floor. Naomi dives onto everyone but gets sent into the post for her efforts. The Sharpshooter goes on with Natalya looking at Carmella as Naomi taps at 7:13.
Aiden English auditions to sing the new theme song for the Kevin Owens Show.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler to talk about how he’s good enough to not need an elaborate entrance to be a star. He goes to the back and returns….as Bayley. Is that sweet enough for these people? Ziggler talks about someone who had no in-ring ability yet people idolized him, meaning it’s time for the Ultimate Warrior entrance. With that done, Ziggler rants about how anyone can do what he just did but no one can do what he does in this ring. He couldn’t care less about any of us and he walks off.
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hype Bros
Shelton takes Mojo down by the arm to start but gets forearmed in the face. It’s off to Ryder for a middle rope dropkick, only to charge into a spinebuster. A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination ends Ryder at 2:24.
Mojo shakes hands post match but Ryder walks away.
Here’s Owens to wait for Vince’s appearance. The boss comes out and Owens says Vince looks intimidated. Vince laughs off the idea of Owens respecting authority. Vince: “Kevin, when you look in the mirror, how do you have any respect at all?” He brings up the lawsuits and sees it as Owens craving power. If Owens does file the suit, Vince will be on the phone immediately to Owens’ attorney and firing Owens on the spot.
Vince has been in his share of courtroom battles and hasn’t lost a single one (uh, right). The laws of this land were written for people like him because he’s a billionaire. By the time the lawsuit gets to court in several years, Owens will be bankrupt. As for last week though, Shane is suspended for not beating Owens up badly enough. Vince gets to the point: there won’t be a lawsuit because there’s going to be a match. Kevin Owens will face Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell.
That’s fine with Owens, but he needs permission to beat a McMahon senseless. They shake hands and Owens headbutts Vince, drawing some blood from Vince’s head. A right hand drops Vince again and Owens kicks him in the ribs. Referees come out and Owens adds a superkick.
Owens even adds a frog splash and Stephanie makes her first appearance since Wrestlemania to come out and check on her dad. Vince won’t get on the stretcher and nearly collapses to end the show. This was VERY well done and I love Stephanie making what felt like a natural return to check on her father instead of some grand entrance. Really good ending here and if they have Shane get mauled in the Cell, it’s even better.
Results
AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher
New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy
Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder
Wednesday
NXT
Date: September 13, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We’re coming up on the end of a taping cycle and that could mean a variety of things around here. Last week’s show ended with Asuka vacating the Women’s Title, which will likely be resolved during the next set of tapings. Other than that we have the continuing issues with the Undisputed Era, which is the official name for Adam Cole, Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
The announcers talk about Asuka vacating the title last week.
Billie Kay/Peyton Royce vs. Ruby Riot/???
Riot demanded this match but William Regal told her to get a partner. There’s no partner to start though so it’s Ruby taking Peyton down to start. Cue Nikki Cross to watch from ringside as Peyton does her headscissor choke over the ropes. Ruby sends them into each other though and grabs a breather, only to have Cross get on the apron and tag herself in. Nikki starts cleaning house and hits a quick swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker on Kay. That’s enough for Nikki as she tags out and leaves. Riot hits the top rope backsplash for the pin on Billie at 4:04.
We look back at Riddick Moss and Tino Sabbatelli challenging Johnny Gargano last week.
No Way Jose explains his issues with Lars Sullivan. Someone has to teach Lars a lesson and that’s a challenge for next week.
Riddick Moss vs. Johnny Gargano
Johnny headlocks him to start but the much stronger Moss throws him around without too much effort. One heck of an elbow to the jaw cuts Johnny off again and he’s sent into the corner as we take a break. Back with Moss pounding him down in the corner, only to have Johnny clothesline him outside. A baseball slide sets up a running flip dive off the apron but Johnny has to deal with Tino.
Not that it matters as the Gargano Escape has Riddick in trouble but he makes the rope for the save. Johnny is freaked out and the announcers talk about him losing his confidence. C. Tino tries to interfere again but eats a superkick, followed by the spear through the ropes to put Moss away at 10:28.
Street Profits vs. Ealy Brothers
Gabriel shoves Uriel into the corner to start and STEALS HIS BANDANA! That earns him one heck of a right hand so it’s off to Ford. The always cool jump over the partner onto the opponent’s back spot has both Brothers reeling but a little Twin Magic earns Ford a kick to the face. That’s about it for the offense though as a missed charge allows the hot tag to Dawkins. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinebuster into the frog splash to put Uriel away at 2:49.
Video on Asuka leading into a recap of last week’s ceremony.
We look back at Wolfgang pinning Tyler Bate to earn a UK Title shot.
Wolfgang is ready for his title shot.
UK Title: Wolfgang vs. Pete Dunne
Pete is defending and the fans go insane for him. Wolfgang gets taken down by the head so Dunne can crank on his arm and then fingers. A cravate takes Pete down, only to have him forearm the heck out of Wolfgang. Dunne snaps the fingers again for another breather though, followed by a DDT to drop Wolfgang head first onto the apron.
Back from a break with Dunne grabbing a Kimura with a bodyscissors. Wolfgang shoves him off so Pete hits a running kick to the head. That just earns him a spear as things are starting to pick up. Dunne bails to the floor so it’s a running flip dive, followed by a moonsault for two on the champ back inside.
The X Plex cuts Wolfgang off but he’s right back up with a delayed superplex. The Howling hits knees though and Dunne slaps on a cross armbreaker. That’s reverses as well so it’s a pop up powerslam for two on Pete. A forearm to the jaw cuts Wolfgang off though and it’s the Bitter End to retain the title at 10:58.
Post match the Undisputed Era comes out to beat down both guys. Dunne bails while they beat on Wolfgang until Tyler Bate and Trent Seven run out for the save to end the show.
Results
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce – Top rope backsplash to Kay
Johnny Gargano b. Riddick Moss – Slingshot spear
Street Profits b. Ealy Brothers – Frog splash to Uriel
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 14, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
We’re closing in on Bound For Glory though nothing has actually been mentioned about the show yet. The big match this week is OVE vs. LAX for the Tag Team Titles….from the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico. In other words, it’s more footage from another promotion instead of here at Impact Wrestling. This is starting to feel like Ring of Honor and that’s really not a good thing. Let’s get to it.
Lashley and American Top Team arrive and beat up a backstage guy.
Quick video on Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.
Opening sequence.
Garza Jr. vs. Braxton Sutter
Fallout from Sutter talking to Allie last week. Sutter headlocks him to start but stops to let Garza take off his shirt. A slam gives Garza two, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. Sutter gets two off a powerslam but again stops so Garza can take off his pants, but not before blowing a kiss to Allie. Her jaw drops as the pants come off and Garza superkicks Sutter for good measure. A powerbomb gives Sutter three straight near falls but he gets superkicked for a second time. Garza adds a Lionsault (minus the running start) for the pin at 4:53.
Post match Sutter yells at her but then apologizes. Allie doesn’t seem to accept it at first but eventually leaves with him.
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma
Carter is defending and gets a decisively face pop. Hector Guerrero is one of the judges and Josh accuses him of being biased. Fantasma is forced into the corner to start but comes right back with an armbar to slow things down. Naturally the announcers talk about Lashley and MMA because that’s what this wrestling show is now about. Some chops get Carter out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two. The TK3 connects but sends Fantasma to the floor as the round ends.
Round one goes to Carter so Fantasma starts round two in a hurry. A right hand puts him back down though and the pace slows again. Fantasma jumps over him in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana. A jumping knee to the face sets up running knees in the corner as Carter is rocked. Fantasma gets two off a top rope hurricanrana and frog splash. The 1%er is broken up and it’s a surfboard hold to take us to the end of round two.
Fantasma wins to tie things up and we take a break before the third fall. Back with Carter powerbombing him twice for another near fall and both guys being a bit spent. A slugout goes to Fantasma but Carter flips out of a Fujiwara armbar. Another TK3 gets two but Fantasma sends him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and a hanging 1%er plants Fantasma as the time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision.
Post match Fantasma gets in a shoving match with Hector, who was the deciding vote. That dies down and it’s Pagano debuting (in a very weak moment) to beat Carter down. Eddie Edwards runs in for the save, which Carter doesn’t seem to care for.
We go to Mexico where Homicide reunites with the team. They hit a club and Konnan says the fix is in because they’ve paid off the referee and gives OVE tainted water.
Tag Team Titles: Ultimo Maldito/Hijo de Pirate Morgan vs. Black Boy/Arkangel Davino vs. LAX vs. OVE
Don’t know who these guys are? Well that’s just your fault because you didn’t do your homework by watching a promotion from Mexico to study up on things. Jeremy says one of their names is Black Diamond but when I looked up some of the names to see how they were spelled, it was listed as Black Boy. Much like the matches during the Hardys’ World Tour, this is a bunch of clips instead of the full match. There are some good looking dives and near falls, followed by what seems to be a three count but the referee is pulled out. Homicide adds a Gringo Killer and LAX retains after less than three minutes shown.
We see OVE going up to I believe the Crash locker room and Konnan says that’s like signing your death certificate.
Grado vs. ???
Grado is leaving due to visa issues and wanted one more match. The Wee Boot gives him the pin at 47 seconds.
Post match Grado says he’s leaving on a coach flight at 10am but he wanted to perform in front of the best fans in the world one more time. Joseph Park interrupts and he has a surprise. He’s going to be sponsoring Grado’s visa so Grado can stay! Park is going to be his agent it seems, promising him booking, in-ring Polaroid shoots and podcast appearances.
Johnny Impact says Low Ki is a dream opponent and tonight, Low Ki goes to Slam Town.
Lashley and American Top Team goes in to see Jim Cornette and demands his release. Cornette grants it but the fighters have to leave, but before Lashley leaves he wants him to face Moose one on one.
X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee
Dutt is defending and this is falls count anywhere. Lee gets two on the floor off a baseball slide but Dutt sends him into the barricade for a breather. They head inside for the first time with Lee kicking him in the face, only to get dropped again. Dutt throws in a chair but Lee throws it right back out.
They hit kicks to the head at the same time for a double knockdown. Why there’s no count when Dutt’s leg is over Lee isn’t clear, but I’d guess it’s because that’s not in the script and the referee doesn’t know any better. Dutt’s tornado DDT plants Lee but a superplex plants Dutt just as fast. They head outside again with Lee throwing a chair at his head before fighting into the crowd.
We take a break (of course we do) and come back with the fight heading into the back. Caleb Konley jumps Dutt, because falls count anywhere now means No DQ. A trashcan to the head gives Lee two but heel miscommunication lets him get a breather. Dutt is busted open and it’s time to hit Lee in the head with a trashcan lid. A tornado DDT off the wall is countered with a crotching onto a barricade and Lee rolls him up (with tights) for the pin and the title at 13:57.
American Top Team beats up Richard Justice for general purposes.
Clip of Global Forged, GFW’s version of Tough Enough/Breaking Ground.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Amber Nova
Taya slams her down to start and sends Amber into the corner. A raised boot in the corner staggers Taya as JB mentions Bound For Glory, perhaps for the first time. Taya gets two off a sitout powerbomb and pulls Amber up before three. A double chickenwing facebuster (Beth Phoenix’s Glam Slam) ends Nova at 1:20.
Eli Drake and Chris Adonis smell desperation from the people trying to reach his level with their little T-Rex arms. Drake has spotted two marks in the main event and he’ll be watching.
Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki
The winner faces Drake at Victory Road, whenever that is. Ki tries some shots to the face but gets swatted away as they seem to have a lot of time here. They hit the mat for some grappling before Impact blocks a kick and grabs a dragon sleeper over the ropes. We take a break and come back with Impact fighting out of an abdominal stretch and kicking Ki down.
The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Ki is placed on the middle rope for a sliding German suplex (cool). Impact’s split legged moonsault is broken up though with Ki grabbing a hanging dragon sleeper. The Flying Chuck puts Ki down but he comes back with a shotgun dropkick into the corner. Back up and Ki crotches himself while trying the Warrior’s Way, setting up Starship Pain to give Impact the title shot at 11:14.
Post match Adonis sneaks in to put Impact in the Adonis Lock. Drake comes out to add the Gravy Train.
Lashley tells Cornette to watch what’s about to happen to Moose.
Taya yells at Karen Jarrett and tells her to pay attention to what happens in that ring.
Here’s Lashley as this show’s run time has been extended to approximately nineteen hours. Lashley talks about being forced to choose between wrestling and MMA, even though he’s doing pretty well at both. American Top Team has been begging him to come there full time and win that “mixed martial arts heavyweight championship”. He’s going back to MMA full time but first, he wants to call out Moose. The announcers are surprised by this, despite seeing what Cornette said and mentioning it during the show.
Moose comes out and immediately punches him in the jaw, only to get clotheslined to the floor. A powerbomb on the floor keeps Moose in trouble but he cuts off the spar with a boot. They fight into the crowd because this needs to fill in more time. This just keeps going as they head into the back with the announcers continuing to name drop Dan Lambert every chance they have.
A neckbreaker drops Moose on the apron as the announcers talk about how Lashley leaving might cost them their Christmas bonuses. Moose kicks him down and hits a spear at ringside. They get back inside and of course here are the MMA guys to beat Moose down to end the show after a nearly seven minute brawl.
Results
Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault
Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision
Grado b. ??? – Wee boot
Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights
Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster
Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Bobby Heenan has passed away from unknown causes at the age of 73.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Roman Reigns b. Jason Jordan – Spear
Sasha Banks b. Emma – Bank Statement
Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
John Cena b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the steps
Enzo Amore b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows – Dirty Deeds to Anderson
Smackdown
AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher
New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy
Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder
NXT
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce – Top rope backsplash to Kay
Johnny Gargano b. Riddick Moss – Slingshot spear
Street Profits b. Ealy Brothers – Frog splash to Uriel
Impact Wrestling
Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault
Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision
Grado b. ??? – Wee boot
Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights
Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster
Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 2017
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Booker T., Corey Graves, Michael Coleman’s
As is the case so often anymore around WWE (and thank goodness for that), we have some big matches announced coming in. This time around that would be Braun Strowman vs. John Cena, which had better end in some kind of a screwy finish. I mean, WWE wouldn’t possibly be stupid enough to do something else right? Let get to it.
As you might expect, we open with a moment of silence for the sixteenth anniversary of September 11. We also have a text crawl on the screen, talking about the importance of freedom.
Opening sequence.
Roman Reigns vs. Jason Jordan
Reigns won’t shake hands to start and John Cena is shown watching in the back. Feeling out process to start until Jordan charges into a right hand. The corner clotheslines are countered with the belly to belly and Jordan has a breather. One heck of a running clothesline lets Reigns hit the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered into the Crossface.
Back from a break with a headbutt dropping Jordan again, followed by a suplex to do the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another suplex (granted a different variety) sends Reigns flying. That great dropkick puts Reigns down again and it’s still another suplex for two more.
The running shoulder in the corner sets up some rolling northern lights suplexes for another near fall. We hit the Crossface but Reigns finally makes the rope (after nearly tapping on his face). Back up and Jordan’s shoulder goes into the post, setting up the Superman Punch. The spear is enough to put Jordan away at 15:18.
Reigns shakes his hand post match. Post break here’s Cena to call out Reigns for almost losing. He’d like an explanation, but recommends that Reigns keep it at about one sentence in the form of a catchphrase. Roman says he was out here having a great match, which Cena can’t do. Reigns has had more great matches in the last two years than Cena has had in his career. Reigns: “What do you think about that?” Cena: “You can’t pin this one on me guys. Reigns is burying himself.”
Cena talks about how Reigns has never been put in check before but Cena is going to show him what real failure is. The way things are going, No Mercy is going to be a cake walk. Cena goes to leave but Reigns calls him back in and says he finds it interesting that Cena wanted to fight him. The reason Cena is back is because Reigns is selling the tickets that Cena hasn’t been able to sell in five years. It must be because he can’t break into Hollywood. Reigns: “If you need help, I know a guy.” Cena says No Mercy is going to be like a drug test: Reigns isn’t passing.
Sasha Banks vs. Emma
Alexa Bliss is on commentary as Emma gets an early two off a sunset flip. Sasha gets the same off a backslide but gets blasted with a hard clothesline. Cue Nia Jax to join commentary as we take a break. Back with Emma getting taken down by a headscissors but hiptossing Banks into the corner. The five person commentary booth (geez) laughs off the idea of Emma winning the title because of all the hashtags. Banks has had enough of this and grabs the Bank Statement for the tap at 7:21.
Video on Strowman vs. Big Show from last week.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman knows that we’re coming up on a pay per view called No Mercy where Braun Strowman is going to have to do everything he can to take the title away from Brock. That’s interesting though because Braun is reminding Heyman of what Lesnar did in 2002, when he beat people like the Rock, Hulk Hogan, Rob Van Dam and the Undertaker. So is Strowman going to be ready to cross the line from sports entertainment into Suplex City?
Heyman doesn’t think so, but here’s Braun to interrupt. The fight is on and Brock grabs a German suplex (I believe the first time he’s ever done that to Strowman) but Braun no sells it, drawing a stunned look from Lesnar. That’s a great spot, though ignore the fact that Cena did something similar in 2014. Strowman lays him out with a chokeslam and the running powerslam as Heyman is terrified.
The announcers talk about the recent hurricanes and how you can help. Nothing wrong with that.
Goldust vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray comes up on screen to say that Goldust hides behind his paint but now he needs to run. Goldust slugs away to start and sends Bray outside for a freaking flip dive off the apron (YOU’RE TOO OLD FOR THAT DUSTIN!). Back in and Bray runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 2:08.
Post match Bray wipes the paint off of Goldust’s face, shouting that he’s just a man. Finn Balor comes in for the save.
Sheamus and Cesaro are ready to face Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins because as soon as adversity hits them, they’re going to break up again. They are the bar, and that is still a stupid catchphrase.
Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows
Rollins and Ambrose are on commentary. Actually hang on as the champs start brawling with both teams. No match.
Post break Rollins and Ambrose say they want both of those teams tonight. Angle says find partners and the DELETE chants are already starting.
Asuka is coming soon.
Nia Jax doesn’t seem pleased when Bliss comes up to say she doesn’t like it either. She wants Jax to be best friends again so they can have a classic together. Jax says she’ll think about it but that match is already made for next week. Bliss looks stunned.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Yes again. Elias sings about how Anaheim sucks and makes fun of the Mighty Ducks. Kalisto speeds things up to start but gets his shoulder wrenched, followed by a clothesline for two. We hit the armbar for a bit until Kalisto fights up for a tornado DDT. Kalisto misses a double knee shot off the top though and gets powerbombed in half. Drift Away is enough to give Elias the pin at 4:29.
John Cena vs. Braun Strowman
Graves says Cena is trying to take Strowman out like Reigns could never do. So Cena is out to put him on the shelf for several months now as Reigns already pinned Strowman and put him out for weeks. Cena gets thrown out to the floor to start and then whipped hard into the corner for good measure. Strowman hits a dropkick of all things and the announcers are stunned.
Cena’s right hands have no effect but he gets the feet up in the corner. A fall away slam sends Cena flying and we take a break. Back with Strowman being sent outside but running Cena over again. They head back inside with Cena getting him up for the AA but falling forward from the weight.
The Shuffle is broken up just as easily with a spinebuster giving Strowman two. Cena manages an AA, only to have Braun roll out to the floor. A run around the ring is cut off with Strowman picking up the steps and bouncing them off Cena’s head. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason so Strowman throws the steps inside for a powerslam, which is enough for the DQ at 13:58.
Rollins and Ambrose are looking for partners and run into Dean Malenko and Jamie Noble. Dean says they’re not dressed for it but the Hardys are. We have an eight man tag.
It’s time for MizTV and Miz and Maryse have a major announcement: Maryse is pregnant! Miz is so happy and the fans actually seem to be happy for him. He rips on the fans of course and has a speech but here’s Enzo Amore to interrupt. Miz goes on another heck of a rant, talking about how Enzo and Big Cass were supposed to be the big deal around here and even wrestled with John Cena on a pay per view.
Now Enzo is getting kicked off a tour bus and has to cheat to win. Miz was treated like Enzo to start and then reinvented himself to turn into a star who has been here for over ten years. Now Enzo thinks he can beat Neville? The cruiserweights are some of the most athletically gifted stars in the world and do things off the top rope that brings the WWE Universe to their feet. When Enzo goes to the top, he falls on his face. They work every day to get better while all Enzo cares about is hanging out with third rate rappers.
Enzo says Miz is just a copy of Chris Jericho and Ric Flair while he’s an original. He’s going to No Mercy to become Cruiserweight Champion and then he’ll come back to Raw and beat the paper Intercontinental Champion. That’s enough for Miz, who is willing to fight right now. He even dedicates the match to his unborn child but Enzo calls him S-A-W-F-T anyway. Enzo was picked apart here but his retort was good.
Miz vs. Enzo Amore
Non-title. Enzo runs out to the floor to start and says Miz’s wrestling abilities are heading straight to DVD. Miz chases him outside and rams Enzo’s head into the mat over and over again. Miz: “Hey Enzo. How you doin?” Back in and Miz brags a bit more, earning himself a crotching on the top. Miz hammers away again so Enzo asks if Miz is really the father. That’s enough for Miz, who beats on Enzo until the Miztourage joins in for the DQ at 3:07.
Enzo gets destroyed even more post match.
Post break, Neville laughs at Enzo, who can barely move.
Seth Rollins/Hardy Boyz vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows
It’s a brawl to start (well duh) until the Hardys work on Cesaro’s arm. That goes nowhere as it’s off to Sheamus, who gets sent outside along with Cesaro. Back with Gallows kicking Ambrose out to the floor as the heat segment begins. A double clothesline from Cesaro and Sheamus gets two and it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro. Dean gets him down with a backslide, only to get caught with the assisted White Noise for two.
Matt comes in for the save and gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Dean’s swinging neckbreaker doesn’t get him anywhere as he has to fight out of the Magic Killer. The rebound lariat drops Gallows but Sheamus cuts him off again. A backdrop is finally enough for the hot tag to Seth as things speed up. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Twist of Fate to Anderson and Gallows. Sheamus and Cesaro walk away though, leaving Anderson to take the windup knee and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:02.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Jason Jordan – Spear
Sasha Banks b. Emma – Bank Statement
Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
John Cena b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the steps
Enzo Amore b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows – Dirty Deeds to Anderson
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2017
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
I know I say it a lot but this week really is a major night for Smackdown as not only do we have three titles being defended on one show but the boss himself is in the house. Vince McMahon is making a rare TV appearance to deal with the Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens feud, which is slowly starting to get out of hand. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look back at Shane and Kevin’s issues with Owens getting beaten up again, meaning Vince has to come here for the intervention.
Here’s Owens to get things going. He welcomes us to the Kevin Owens Show by reminding us that he never fought back last week. Owens is going to own this whole place because he’s suing everyone around. Every week on the USA Network, it’s going to be Kevin Owens presenting the Kevin Owens Show starring Kevin Owens.
That means some changes around here, starting with Sami Zayn being fired. Then we’ll have Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips wearing the same suit. As in one suit for one person because they sound exactly the same on TV so there’s no point in having them separate. Oh and the Fashion Files are canceled because he doesn’t get it. Kevin wants to see Mr. McMahon right now but Here Comes the Money instead. Owens: “NO!!!!”
Never mind as it’s actually Dolph Ziggler trying out a new entrance. Kevin is relieved because it’s actually someone talented who works here so it couldn’t be Shane. Ziggler leaves and it’s Daniel Bryan taking his place. Daniel thinks Owens needs to chill so Owens offers him a job as a janitor. Bryan laughs it off because Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon.
Donate to the Red Cross to help with natural disasters.
US Title: AJ Styles vs. Tye Dillinger
AJ is defending. Dillinger was trying to answer the US Open Challenge two weeks ago when Baron Corbin attacked him. Styles gave him a shot to make up for it. AJ sends him into the corner to start but gets rammed into the post and we take an early break. Back with Dillinger getting powerbombed out of the corner to put both guys down.
It’s AJ up first with a forearm to knock him backwards but Baron Corbin comes out for a distraction. AJ gets in the Phenomenal Forearm to drop Baron but gets caught in the Tyebreaker for a heck of a near fall. Of note: the announcers make sure to point out that Tye didn’t have time to get his knee pad taken down for the full impact, thereby protecting the move just a bit. The Calf Crusher retains AJ’s title at 7:21.
AJ shakes his hand post match but Corbin gets pulled to the floor. Dillinger gets taken down as well, followed by Corbin laying Styles out on the floor. Corbin is answering the Open Challenge next week.
Rusev went back to Bulgaria recently and the people greeted him with shame and embarrassment. He came back as a loser but that’s not what he is. To get it back, he must break a legend.
Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal talks about getting inside his opponents’ heads and puts up a picture of Nakamura with a bit of a grimace on his face. That makes Jinder think of constipation and where the bathroom is. Another picture makes Mahal think Nakamura is still trying to rip off Michael Jackson. Each of these jokes literally has the Brothers rolling on the mat in fits of laughter.
Finally, one of Nakamura looking angry makes Mahal think he’s screaming about Godzilla. Mahal mocks people who are laughing at this because it’s nonsense (that helps a bit). These Americans will mock you and say that you look like Pikachu having a seizure. Mahal promises to win in Punjabi and that’s that. This was certainly different and Mahal is starting to feel more like a champion but this really wasn’t funny (though he did acknowledge that).
Kevin Owens is going over new ideas for the show (limos, private jet, new entrance video etc.) when he runs into Sami Zayn. Owens talks about driving through a blizzard with Sami after wrestling in an armory in front of 42 people. They made a promise that night to never do this again and get to the WWE together.
Well now Owens is about to own the biggest wrestling company in the world and Sami is about to be out of a job. Based on that, Owens is giving Sami permission to break that promise when the armories start calling and he’s having trouble making rent. Sami says he’d rather wrestle in those armories than ever work for Owens.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos
The Usos are defending and this is a street fight. Kofi Kingston and Big E. (no Xavier here this week) go for a table to start but Big E. is posted as we take a break. Back with the Usos in control and Big E. getting stomped down in the corner. Something like a Van Daminator with a superkick gets two on Big E. as Kofi gets beaten down on the floor. It’s kendo stick time with Big E. taking another beating. Jimmy: “IT’S TOO EASY!”
Kofi finally gets back in to clean house and start swinging the stick. He beats Jimmy down so badly that the stick is broken in half for a cool visual. Jimmy’s running chair shot only hits post and a top rope double stomp with the chair gives Kofi two. The trust fall onto the Usos is caught with Kofi being sent into the barricade. Big E. is back up though and goes nuts, sending Jey into and then over the table.
The Rock Bottom plants Jimmy and a belly to belly drops Jey as well. A double Warrior Splash gets two but Jimmy gets in a superkick. That goes nowhere and it’s the Big Ending for a near fall. Now it’s a double superkick for the same but Kofi breaks up the double Superfly Splash with Jey being shoved through a table at ringside for a nasty crash. That’s enough to set up the Midnight Hour to give New Day the titles back at 11:22.
Ronda Rousey is here.
Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Natalya
Natalya is defending and they’re in the ring when we get back. Carmella is on commentary and has James Ellsworth on a (leopard print) leash. Naomi does the dancing kicks to start and we’re off to an early break. Back with both trying a crossbody for a double knockdown. It’s Naomi up first with a kick to the face but the split legged moonsault misses. The Sharpshooter is broken up as Natalya is kicked to the floor. Naomi dives onto everyone but gets sent into the post for her efforts. The Sharpshooter goes on with Natalya looking at Carmella as Naomi taps at 7:13.
Aiden English auditions to sing the new theme song for the Kevin Owens Show.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler to talk about how he’s good enough to not need an elaborate entrance to be a star. He goes to the back and returns….as Bayley. Is that sweet enough for these people? Ziggler talks about someone who had no in-ring ability yet people idolized him, meaning it’s time for the Ultimate Warrior entrance. With that done, Ziggler rants about how anyone can do what he just did but no one can do what he does in this ring. He couldn’t care less about any of us and he walks off.
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hype Bros
Shelton takes Mojo down by the arm to start but gets forearmed in the face. It’s off to Ryder for a middle rope dropkick, only to charge into a spinebuster. A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination ends Ryder at 2:24.
Mojo shakes hands post match but Ryder walks away.
Here’s Owens to wait for Vince’s appearance. The boss comes out and Owens says Vince looks intimidated. Vince laughs off the idea of Owens respecting authority. Vince: “Kevin, when you look in the mirror, how do you have any respect at all?” He brings up the lawsuits and sees it as Owens craving power. If Owens does file the suit, Vince will be on the phone immediately to Owens’ attorney and firing Owens on the spot.
Vince has been in his share of courtroom battles and hasn’t lost a single one (uh, right). The laws of this land were written for people like him because he’s a billionaire. By the time the lawsuit gets to court in several years, Owens will be bankrupt. As for last week though, Shane is suspended for not beating Owens up badly enough. Vince gets to the point: there won’t be a lawsuit because there’s going to be a match. Kevin Owens will face Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell.
That’s fine with Owens, but he needs permission to beat a McMahon senseless. They shake hands and Owens headbutts Vince, drawing some blood from Vince’s head. A right hand drops Vince again and Owens kicks him in the ribs. Referees come out and Owens adds a superkick.
Owens even adds a frog splash and Stephanie makes her first appearance since Wrestlemania to come out and check on her dad. Vince won’t get on the stretcher and nearly collapses to end the show. This was VERY well done and I love Stephanie making what felt like a natural return to check on her father instead of some grand entrance. Really good ending here and if they have Shane get mauled in the Cell, it’s even better.
Results
AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher
New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy
Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder
Wednesday
NXT
Date: September 13, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We’re coming up on the end of a taping cycle and that could mean a variety of things around here. Last week’s show ended with Asuka vacating the Women’s Title, which will likely be resolved during the next set of tapings. Other than that we have the continuing issues with the Undisputed Era, which is the official name for Adam Cole, Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
The announcers talk about Asuka vacating the title last week.
Billie Kay/Peyton Royce vs. Ruby Riot/???
Riot demanded this match but William Regal told her to get a partner. There’s no partner to start though so it’s Ruby taking Peyton down to start. Cue Nikki Cross to watch from ringside as Peyton does her headscissor choke over the ropes. Ruby sends them into each other though and grabs a breather, only to have Cross get on the apron and tag herself in. Nikki starts cleaning house and hits a quick swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker on Kay. That’s enough for Nikki as she tags out and leaves. Riot hits the top rope backsplash for the pin on Billie at 4:04.
We look back at Riddick Moss and Tino Sabbatelli challenging Johnny Gargano last week.
No Way Jose explains his issues with Lars Sullivan. Someone has to teach Lars a lesson and that’s a challenge for next week.
Riddick Moss vs. Johnny Gargano
Johnny headlocks him to start but the much stronger Moss throws him around without too much effort. One heck of an elbow to the jaw cuts Johnny off again and he’s sent into the corner as we take a break. Back with Moss pounding him down in the corner, only to have Johnny clothesline him outside. A baseball slide sets up a running flip dive off the apron but Johnny has to deal with Tino.
Not that it matters as the Gargano Escape has Riddick in trouble but he makes the rope for the save. Johnny is freaked out and the announcers talk about him losing his confidence. C. Tino tries to interfere again but eats a superkick, followed by the spear through the ropes to put Moss away at 10:28.
Street Profits vs. Ealy Brothers
Gabriel shoves Uriel into the corner to start and STEALS HIS BANDANA! That earns him one heck of a right hand so it’s off to Ford. The always cool jump over the partner onto the opponent’s back spot has both Brothers reeling but a little Twin Magic earns Ford a kick to the face. That’s about it for the offense though as a missed charge allows the hot tag to Dawkins. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinebuster into the frog splash to put Uriel away at 2:49.
Video on Asuka leading into a recap of last week’s ceremony.
We look back at Wolfgang pinning Tyler Bate to earn a UK Title shot.
Wolfgang is ready for his title shot.
UK Title: Wolfgang vs. Pete Dunne
Pete is defending and the fans go insane for him. Wolfgang gets taken down by the head so Dunne can crank on his arm and then fingers. A cravate takes Pete down, only to have him forearm the heck out of Wolfgang. Dunne snaps the fingers again for another breather though, followed by a DDT to drop Wolfgang head first onto the apron.
Back from a break with Dunne grabbing a Kimura with a bodyscissors. Wolfgang shoves him off so Pete hits a running kick to the head. That just earns him a spear as things are starting to pick up. Dunne bails to the floor so it’s a running flip dive, followed by a moonsault for two on the champ back inside.
The X Plex cuts Wolfgang off but he’s right back up with a delayed superplex. The Howling hits knees though and Dunne slaps on a cross armbreaker. That’s reverses as well so it’s a pop up powerslam for two on Pete. A forearm to the jaw cuts Wolfgang off though and it’s the Bitter End to retain the title at 10:58.
Post match the Undisputed Era comes out to beat down both guys. Dunne bails while they beat on Wolfgang until Tyler Bate and Trent Seven run out for the save to end the show.
Results
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce – Top rope backsplash to Kay
Johnny Gargano b. Riddick Moss – Slingshot spear
Street Profits b. Ealy Brothers – Frog splash to Uriel
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 14, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
We’re closing in on Bound For Glory though nothing has actually been mentioned about the show yet. The big match this week is OVE vs. LAX for the Tag Team Titles….from the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico. In other words, it’s more footage from another promotion instead of here at Impact Wrestling. This is starting to feel like Ring of Honor and that’s really not a good thing. Let’s get to it.
Lashley and American Top Team arrive and beat up a backstage guy.
Quick video on Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.
Opening sequence.
Garza Jr. vs. Braxton Sutter
Fallout from Sutter talking to Allie last week. Sutter headlocks him to start but stops to let Garza take off his shirt. A slam gives Garza two, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. Sutter gets two off a powerslam but again stops so Garza can take off his pants, but not before blowing a kiss to Allie. Her jaw drops as the pants come off and Garza superkicks Sutter for good measure. A powerbomb gives Sutter three straight near falls but he gets superkicked for a second time. Garza adds a Lionsault (minus the running start) for the pin at 4:53.
Post match Sutter yells at her but then apologizes. Allie doesn’t seem to accept it at first but eventually leaves with him.
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma
Carter is defending and gets a decisively face pop. Hector Guerrero is one of the judges and Josh accuses him of being biased. Fantasma is forced into the corner to start but comes right back with an armbar to slow things down. Naturally the announcers talk about Lashley and MMA because that’s what this wrestling show is now about. Some chops get Carter out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two. The TK3 connects but sends Fantasma to the floor as the round ends.
Round one goes to Carter so Fantasma starts round two in a hurry. A right hand puts him back down though and the pace slows again. Fantasma jumps over him in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana. A jumping knee to the face sets up running knees in the corner as Carter is rocked. Fantasma gets two off a top rope hurricanrana and frog splash. The 1%er is broken up and it’s a surfboard hold to take us to the end of round two.
Fantasma wins to tie things up and we take a break before the third fall. Back with Carter powerbombing him twice for another near fall and both guys being a bit spent. A slugout goes to Fantasma but Carter flips out of a Fujiwara armbar. Another TK3 gets two but Fantasma sends him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and a hanging 1%er plants Fantasma as the time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision.
Post match Fantasma gets in a shoving match with Hector, who was the deciding vote. That dies down and it’s Pagano debuting (in a very weak moment) to beat Carter down. Eddie Edwards runs in for the save, which Carter doesn’t seem to care for.
We go to Mexico where Homicide reunites with the team. They hit a club and Konnan says the fix is in because they’ve paid off the referee and gives OVE tainted water.
Tag Team Titles: Ultimo Maldito/Hijo de Pirate Morgan vs. Black Boy/Arkangel Davino vs. LAX vs. OVE
Don’t know who these guys are? Well that’s just your fault because you didn’t do your homework by watching a promotion from Mexico to study up on things. Jeremy says one of their names is Black Diamond but when I looked up some of the names to see how they were spelled, it was listed as Black Boy. Much like the matches during the Hardys’ World Tour, this is a bunch of clips instead of the full match. There are some good looking dives and near falls, followed by what seems to be a three count but the referee is pulled out. Homicide adds a Gringo Killer and LAX retains after less than three minutes shown.
We see OVE going up to I believe the Crash locker room and Konnan says that’s like signing your death certificate.
Grado vs. ???
Grado is leaving due to visa issues and wanted one more match. The Wee Boot gives him the pin at 47 seconds.
Post match Grado says he’s leaving on a coach flight at 10am but he wanted to perform in front of the best fans in the world one more time. Joseph Park interrupts and he has a surprise. He’s going to be sponsoring Grado’s visa so Grado can stay! Park is going to be his agent it seems, promising him booking, in-ring Polaroid shoots and podcast appearances.
Johnny Impact says Low Ki is a dream opponent and tonight, Low Ki goes to Slam Town.
Lashley and American Top Team goes in to see Jim Cornette and demands his release. Cornette grants it but the fighters have to leave, but before Lashley leaves he wants him to face Moose one on one.
X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee
Dutt is defending and this is falls count anywhere. Lee gets two on the floor off a baseball slide but Dutt sends him into the barricade for a breather. They head inside for the first time with Lee kicking him in the face, only to get dropped again. Dutt throws in a chair but Lee throws it right back out.
They hit kicks to the head at the same time for a double knockdown. Why there’s no count when Dutt’s leg is over Lee isn’t clear, but I’d guess it’s because that’s not in the script and the referee doesn’t know any better. Dutt’s tornado DDT plants Lee but a superplex plants Dutt just as fast. They head outside again with Lee throwing a chair at his head before fighting into the crowd.
We take a break (of course we do) and come back with the fight heading into the back. Caleb Konley jumps Dutt, because falls count anywhere now means No DQ. A trashcan to the head gives Lee two but heel miscommunication lets him get a breather. Dutt is busted open and it’s time to hit Lee in the head with a trashcan lid. A tornado DDT off the wall is countered with a crotching onto a barricade and Lee rolls him up (with tights) for the pin and the title at 13:57.
American Top Team beats up Richard Justice for general purposes.
Clip of Global Forged, GFW’s version of Tough Enough/Breaking Ground.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Amber Nova
Taya slams her down to start and sends Amber into the corner. A raised boot in the corner staggers Taya as JB mentions Bound For Glory, perhaps for the first time. Taya gets two off a sitout powerbomb and pulls Amber up before three. A double chickenwing facebuster (Beth Phoenix’s Glam Slam) ends Nova at 1:20.
Eli Drake and Chris Adonis smell desperation from the people trying to reach his level with their little T-Rex arms. Drake has spotted two marks in the main event and he’ll be watching.
Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki
The winner faces Drake at Victory Road, whenever that is. Ki tries some shots to the face but gets swatted away as they seem to have a lot of time here. They hit the mat for some grappling before Impact blocks a kick and grabs a dragon sleeper over the ropes. We take a break and come back with Impact fighting out of an abdominal stretch and kicking Ki down.
The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Ki is placed on the middle rope for a sliding German suplex (cool). Impact’s split legged moonsault is broken up though with Ki grabbing a hanging dragon sleeper. The Flying Chuck puts Ki down but he comes back with a shotgun dropkick into the corner. Back up and Ki crotches himself while trying the Warrior’s Way, setting up Starship Pain to give Impact the title shot at 11:14.
Post match Adonis sneaks in to put Impact in the Adonis Lock. Drake comes out to add the Gravy Train.
Lashley tells Cornette to watch what’s about to happen to Moose.
Taya yells at Karen Jarrett and tells her to pay attention to what happens in that ring.
Here’s Lashley as this show’s run time has been extended to approximately nineteen hours. Lashley talks about being forced to choose between wrestling and MMA, even though he’s doing pretty well at both. American Top Team has been begging him to come there full time and win that “mixed martial arts heavyweight championship”. He’s going back to MMA full time but first, he wants to call out Moose. The announcers are surprised by this, despite seeing what Cornette said and mentioning it during the show.
Moose comes out and immediately punches him in the jaw, only to get clotheslined to the floor. A powerbomb on the floor keeps Moose in trouble but he cuts off the spar with a boot. They fight into the crowd because this needs to fill in more time. This just keeps going as they head into the back with the announcers continuing to name drop Dan Lambert every chance they have.
A neckbreaker drops Moose on the apron as the announcers talk about how Lashley leaving might cost them their Christmas bonuses. Moose kicks him down and hits a spear at ringside. They get back inside and of course here are the MMA guys to beat Moose down to end the show after a nearly seven minute brawl.
Results
Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault
Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision
Grado b. ??? – Wee boot
Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights
Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster
Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Bobby Heenan has passed away from unknown causes at the age of 73.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Roman Reigns b. Jason Jordan – Spear
Sasha Banks b. Emma – Bank Statement
Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
John Cena b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the steps
Enzo Amore b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows – Dirty Deeds to Anderson
Smackdown
AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher
New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy
Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder
NXT
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce – Top rope backsplash to Kay
Johnny Gargano b. Riddick Moss – Slingshot spear
Street Profits b. Ealy Brothers – Frog splash to Uriel
Impact Wrestling
Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault
Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision
Grado b. ??? – Wee boot
Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights
Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster
Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain