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Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2016
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
It's Summerslam week and Brock Lesnar is here. On top of that things should be back to normal with the full roster back after their Australia/New Zealand tour last week. We should get one last push on all of the big matches, including Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the first ever Universal Title. Let's get to it.
Last week on Raw, Roman Reigns sent Lana into a cake and Seth Rollins didn't think much of Finn Balor.
Earlier today Rollins was outside waiting for his opponent Finn Balor, or the Demon King. He calls him out for a fight right then and there but no one showed up. Tonight he'll find Balor instead.
Lana and Rusev are in the ring with Lana saying they're not leaving the ring until everyone hears what they have to say. There will be no Raw until Reigns comes out here and apologizes. Instead he gets Mick Foley, now in a Have A Nice Raw shirt and with a beard that has its own zip code. Rusev yells a lot and says Foley sucks as a GM. He asks for Stephanie McMahon to come out here instead so here's the bigger boss to stick up for Foley.
Rusev threatens to call Vince or Shane but here's Roman to interrupt as well. They insult each other a bit (as heels and faces do) and a USA chant starts up, which is exactly what they were shooting for here. Rusev wants to defend Lana's honor so Mick makes the match tonight, albeit not for the title.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Before the match, Sheamus gets some promo time saying Sami is nothing to him because Sami talks a lot on Twitter but he's just a Sheamus knockoff. Sami throws his shirt at Sheamus and they're quickly brawling before the bell. Cesaro sits in on commentary as Sami forearms Sheamus in the corner. A headscissors only ticks Sheamus off and he sends Sami back first into the post as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus in control, as a heel should be when you come back from a break. A powerslam gets two on Sami as Cesaro talks about having an offer to go to Smackdown, which a talent like himself deserves. The ten forearms to the chest have Sami in trouble but he knocks Cesaro outside for the big flip dive.
Corey gets on Cesaro for talking about himself a lot and Cesaro brushes him off in a rather heelish manner. White Noise gets two for Sheamus and a Blue Thunder Bomb (Not Michinoku Driver Cole. Even Saxton can get that name right.) gets the same. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse but here's Cesaro for a distraction, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin on Sheamus at 10:14.
Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens say tonight's match between Owens and Big Cass isn't one on one because Jericho will have Kevin's back. Jericho wants to know who certified Enzo as a G. Does he even have a license to be a G? They're ready for their tag match at Summerslam too and tell Todd/Robert/Brian/Nathaniel so, despite the interviewer being named Tom. Now that was funny.
Post break Cesaro and Sheamus are brawling again when Foley comes in to break it up. Mick loves seeing them fight so we're getting a best of seven series. AFTER CESARO HAS ALREADY BEATEN HIM TWICE. Egads this booking makes my head hurt.
Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
Non-title and there's no Big E. at ringside. Before the match, Gallows and Anderson pop up on screen to say they're trying to cure Ringpostitis. They're doing everything they can to make sure their results aren't tainted, including putting eggs in microwaves. They're well endowed with the right equipment and the ball is in their court. The distraction lets D-Von take over on Woods to start but D-Von clotheslines Bubba by mistake. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on D-Von for the pin at 1:38.
Post match the doctors' experiment was a failure and they need more test subjects. Kofi wants to know why these two think this is a game. Summerslam is their anniversary of being champions and there's no way Anderson and Gallows are getting their hands on New Day's rocks.
Rollins is still looking for Balor but no one has seen him. This includes Neville, who says Rollins isn't ready for the Demon King. Seth yells a lot.
Nia Jax vs. Rachel Weaby
Rachel has blue hair, bright green and pink attire and a lot of tattoos. She's been watching the Olympics and is ready to bring home the gold. Nia throws her around and knocks her off the top with a single shot to the face. Rachel is out cold but Nia brings her back in for the fireman's carry into a powerslam for the pin at 1:05.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for their big talk before Summerslam. We see Orton and Lesnar trading sneak attacks in recent weeks. Heyman starts his catchphrase....and here's Heath Slater to interrupt. Paul hopes that someone put Heath up to this because it's really stupid.
All Heyman can do is laugh as Slater talks about Raw understanding what Smackdown can't get. Apparently if Slater fights Lesnar tonight, he gets a job. Heyman just ignores him and goes into his promo about Orton but Slater cuts them off again. Heath knows he's going to get hurt very badly but he has to do this for his kids. Brock actually talks because he can respect Slater fighting for his family. He actually wants to talk about Slater's kids....who he doesn't give a censored about.
Slater can walk out of here on his own two feet or stand here and keep ticking Brock off. Heath actually tries to fight and gets suplexed half to death, followed by the F5. Heyman puts on Heath's sunglasses and praises his courage before laughing at the idea of Orton being a viper. It's his job to hype up the match on Sunday but Lesnar won't believe a word Brock says about Orton being a real threat. Brock is the box office at Summerslam and you should buy it to see a once in a lifetime athlete. This FINALLY wraps up with Heyman saying Brock is dominant.
That's the problem with how Brock has been booked over the last year: if no one, including the reigning WWE World Champion, why in the world would I want to see him fight again? We know the ending because Brock can't be touched so it gets a little boring. Like Heyman's speech here, which just kept going and going as Heyman said the same thing he's said for over a year.
Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens
Before the match, Enzo talks about cooking zucchinis, sausage, burgers, frankfurters and those two pieces of Canadian bacon. Cass shoulders Owens down to start but Kevin knocks him off the apron and into the post as we take a break. Back with Cass breaking up the Cannonball with a boot to the face but getting sent outside again. Owens can't hit the apron powerbomb and gets backdropped, only to have Jericho jump Cass for the DQ at 6:23. Not enough to rate but Cass looked competitive here and that's all he needed to do.
Enzo and Cass get beaten down post match.
Reigns is ready to fight no matter what Rusev has ready for him. Rusev jumps him from behind and sends Reigns into a steel wall.
Prime Time Players vs. Shining Stars
Yes they were feuding just a week ago but earlier tonight Titus apologized so they're back together for a third run. Darren and Epico get things going before it's quickly off to Titus for a slam. Primo comes in and dropkicks Titus in the knee to take over, only to have Titus splash him in the corner. We get Titus suplexing Darren onto Primo for two but Bob Backlund accidentally distracts Titus, who is knocked off the apron by Darren. The Clash of the Titus plants Young and Primo gets the pin at 2:42.
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
Neville dropkicks him outside and hits a corkscrew moonsault to the floor. The Red Arrow doesn't work yet and Mahal kicks him in the face for two. A chinlock goes nowhere and Neville kicks him in the head to set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:57.
The bosses casually mention that Jon Stewart will be at Summerslam when Rollins comes in to find the Demon King. Mick suggests that he try it in the ring.
Here's Rollins to call out Balor and give him one more chance to show himself tonight. No one shows up so Rollins laughs it off and calls this match just another chapter in his book. He's the face of Balor's failure but something we can't see (maybe a fan jumping the barricade) cuts Seth off. Seth keeps laughing and the lights start flickering and go out. Red lights flash and here's Demon Balor for the first time in WWE.
The fans are getting into the arms pose now and that's a very good sign. Rollins has no idea what to think of this and Balor, now with writing all over the right side of his body, gets in his face. The fight is on and Balor cleans house as he should in this case. Balor misses the Coup de Grace but hits a flip dive over the top to take Rollins down. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of them having Demon Balor show up here. This match needs some buzz and this is going to do it.
We look back at Lana being sent into the cake last week.
Golden Truth vs. Gallows and Anderson
Gallows and Anderson are in their doctors' coats. Truth gets kicked in the face to start but gets in the spinning forearm for a breather. It's a double tag to Goldust and Anderson with Goldust hitting his bulldog and powerslam. Not that it matters as the Magic Killer ends Goldust at 2:18.
New Day comes in for the beatdown post match and it's Gallows saving Anderson from a trombone to the testicles.
Charlotte talks down to Dana Brooke about wanting a taste of the spotlight. Dana failed her when it mattered the most but Charlotte will win the title anyway. Charlotte leaves Dana in tears.
Alicia Fox vs. Charlotte
Sasha Banks is on commentary. Fox hits some dropkicks to start but gets pulled off the middle rope for two. Natural Selection ends Fox at 1:25.
Charlotte calls Sasha to the ring but Dana takes out Sasha's knee, setting up the Figure Eight.
Video on Braun Strowman.
Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Non-title. Roman goes right at him before the bell and kicks Rusev in the face. The apron boot makes it even worse for Rusev but he posts Reigns as we go to a break. We're joined in progress with Rusev working on Reigns' bad left arm. Reigns gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a Samoan Drop for a breather. They head outside with Reigns being sent into the steps a few times but Rusev has the US Title taken away from him as we take another break.
Back with Rusev grabbing the mic and saying we're all Russian wannabes. Rusev chokes Roman with his own ring gear, which isn't a DQ for reasons that aren't clear. Roman fights out and knocks Rusev off the top to set up a clothesline to put both guys down. The Superman Punch is countered and Rusev gets two off the spinwheel kick. Four straight middle rope headbutts get four straight near falls for Rusev.
The fifth finally misses and Reigns starts fighting back until a shot to the ribs slows him down. Rusev's superkick is countered with a Superman Punch for a good near fall. The spear is countered with a few kicks to the head for two more but the Accolade is broken up as well. Another superkick to the back sets up the Accolade until Reigns basically collapses into the ropes. Back up and the spear pins Rusev at 20:39.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus Brogue Kick
New Day b. Dudley Boyz Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Nia Jax b. Rachel Weaby Fireman's carry into a powerslam
Big Cass b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Shining Stars b. Prime Time Players Primo pinned Young after a Clash of the Titus from O'Neil
Neville b. Jinder Mahal Red Arrow
Gallows and Anderson b. Goldust Truth Magic Killer to Goldust
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox Natural Selection
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Spear
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 16, 2016
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield
It's the final show before Summerslam and it's time to see what the blue show has to offer. Odds are we'll be seeing a big build towards AJ Styles vs. John Cena II to go along with Smackdown World Champion Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler as guests on MizTV. We'll also have another chance to see Eva Marie's in ring debut. Let's get to it.
Randy Orton signs his contract vs. Brock Lesnar but warns the bosses that the match might be short because it only takes one RKO. Heath Slater brings in a fruit basket but Bryan sees the card: To Bob, my condolences. Slater can't believed that he's not being offered a contract so Orton eats an apple and says he has an idea. A secret alliance with Carlito?
Opening sequence.
We open with MizTV but Dean cuts off Miz's intro. Ziggler cuts off Dean's opening statement though and they go nose to nose. Miz talks about how this is a huge fight for the title at Summerslam and even he thought Ziggler was a write off. He was a flop like WWE's version of the Ghostbuster's reboot. Again, I'd like to point out: a two time World Champion and a four time Intercontinental Champion should never be considered a flop. All Dolph cares about is winning the title on Sunday.
Miz gets cut off again as Ziggler says all he wants to do is kick Ambrose's head off (of his face that is but I think I get what Dolph meant). Ziggler wants to hear Dean say he was the final push Dolph needed to get over the top. That earns a chuckle from Dean, who says the title isn't the goal. Winning the belt is just the start because that's the day the pressure really starts. Everyone knows Dolph can't handle pressure which is why he's never grabbed the ball and scored a touchdown. HE'S A TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND HE WON IT THE SAME WAY DEAN DID!
Ziggler gets serious and says Dean is going to have to give everything he has but it's not going to be enough to put Dolph away. As Dean is reaching down deep and looking for one last move BAM! Dolph lays him out with a superkick in mid sentence and says this Sunday, Dean will realize that he's that good. Ziggler's stuff was much better but this idea that Ziggler has never won the big one is ridiculous, especially coming from Ambrose. Or are they just burying the legacy of the World Heavyweight Championship and saying it doesn't mean a thing anymore?
During the break, Miz insulted Apollo Crews by calling him Apollo Creed, only to have Crews come out and beat Miz down. I had almost forgotten about that match so it's nice to get a quick something.
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango
Viktor and Gable start things off but Mojo tags himself in for a three point tackle. Konnor saves his partner from the Hype Rider and everything breaks down to take us to a break. Back with Ryder and Konnor reaching for tags as it's off to Jimmy vs. English. Jordan starts throwing suplexes and it's time for the parade of finishers, including a ridiculous four superkicks. Jimmy dives on most of his opponents, leaving English to take Grand Amplitude for the pin at 6:50.
Naomi vs. Eva Marie
Naomi's full outfit now lights up, including her hair, and she has a backpack full of glow in the dark material to throw to the crowd. It's certainly eye catching if nothing else. And Eva isn't here due to traffic issues so no match again. This is becoming the highlight of the show.
AJ Styles can't wait to see Alberto Del Rio beat up John Cena tonight but Del Rio tells him to stop living in the past.
Curt Hawkins is coming. Uh....yay.
Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton
So I guess just facing Lesnar last night doesn't count for some reason. Slater can barely walk so Orton easily takes over by hitting him in almost every body part. Orton keeps hammering away in the corner.....and that's a DQ at 1:00.
Orton destroys him post match and doesn't seem to notice that he lost. The elevated DDT onto the floor sets up some German suplexes and Brock's pose. An RKO leaves Slater out cold.
The Wyatts are here.
The bosses give Slater a contract so Heath brags about how he showed no mercy. Bryan thinks that's a great name for a pay per view but Slater thinks Bryan is Mick Foley and a bigger star than Roman Reigns. Oh and Shane is Stephanie. Slater signs and Shane takes the contract away but Slater keeps reading the bed he's laying on.
Erick Rowan vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title and the Wyatts came out during the break. Of note: Bray and Randy had a staredown as Orton was leaving. Dean tries Dirty Deeds thirty seconds in but settles with a dropkick to send Rowan outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Rowan takes over with a powerslam before sending Dean into the steps. Rowan slowly stomps and pounds in the corner, only to have Dean suplex him back down.
Mauro: WWE Champion Dean Ambrose willing to put it all on the line! Other than the title in this match that is. Erick kicks him in the face as JBL talks about opponents not expecting Dean to drop an elbow while they're standing up. You don't expect him to do something he does in almost every match? Speaking of which, Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin at 4:58.
Post match Bray looks at Rowan's mask and walks away. Good.
Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss/Natalya
Carmella and Natalya start things off with a headscissors sending Natalya flying. We hear about Daniel Bryan making a new Women's Title despite there being a total of five female wrestlers on the roster (I'm waiting on Eva to actually wrestle to count her and get it all the way up to six.). Natalya takes Carmella down and the heels take over until a diving tag brings in Becky. Everything breaks down and Natalya collides with Becky.....as Eva Marie comes out to her full entrance. This brings out Naomi for a chase to distract Natalya, setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 4:15.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto again. What did Kalisto do to deserve this kind of demotion?
Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, which we saw a few weeks ago.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
AJ is on commentary. Feeling out process to start until a hiptoss sends Del Rio outside and he takes a breather in the crowd. Back from an early break with Del Rio hitting a shot off the top but missing a charge to crash out onto the floor. Del Rio kicks him in the face (kind of) and avoids a charge to send Cena into the buckle.
AJ and Otunga keep arguing over respect with Styles calling him a rookie. Since this is a Del Rio match and you can guess what he's doing, I have the chance to flash back to Otunga being Styles' replacement at an autograph booth at this year's Axxess. I've never seen a line clear out so fast in my life. Alberto hits a DDT for two and we take another break.
Back with Del Rio diving into a dropkick as Cena starts his comeback. The Backstabber cuts him off and gives Alberto two, followed by the corner enziguri for the same. Cena reverses the cross armbreaker into the STF but Del Rio is too close to the ropes. The low superkick sets up the cross armbreaker but Cena escapes with a powerbomb. A quick AA gives Cena the pin at 16:56.
AJ runs in for a Phenomenal Forearm. Styles says he's tired of hearing that the future goes through Cena and he's going to be the new face that runs this place. He goes to leave but comes back for more, allowing Cena to hit the AA. Cena isn't done though and hits a big AA through the table to end the show.
Results
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros b. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango Grand Amplitude to English
Heath Slater b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton kept attacking in the corner
Dean Ambrose b. Erick Rowan Dirty Deeds
Carmella/Becky Lynch b. Natalya/Alexa Bliss Disarm-Her to Natalya
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio Attitude Adjustment
Wednesday
Paige and Alberto Del Rio have been suspended 30 days for violating the Wellness Policy.
NXT
Date: August 17, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It's the go home show for Takeover: Back to Brooklyn and that means it's time for the big hard push towards New York. Odds are we'll be getting the big showdown between Samoa Joe and Shinsuke Nakamura, possibly with Nakamura getting taken down as payback for embarrassing Joe last week. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Hideo Itami vs. Mustafa Ali
Ali is from the Cruiserweight Classic. Itami starts fast with the strikes and sends him to the apron for a baseball slide. Back in and Ali takes him down for a chinlock followed by a kick to the head for two. Itami is tired of playing around though and starts firing off the strikes, capped off by the running knee for the pin at 3:20.
Video on Bobby Roode. Any excuse to hear GLORIOUS is worth it.
Video on Asuka vs. Bayley, which makes it feel like the ultimate rematch and challenge for Bayley after she was destroyed in Dallas. Asuka has gotten even more aggressive since winning the title and Bayley could be in way over her head on this one. Bayley said the underdog has become the champion before and she's going to do it again.
Music video with footage of Aries vs. No Way Jose, Roode vs. Almas and the Tag Team Title match.
William Regal is talking about how awesome Takeover is going to be when Billie Kay comes in and asks why she's not on the card. Regal agrees and gives her a match with newcomer Ember Moon. Simple and effective again.
Carmella/Liv Morgan/Nikki Glenncross vs. Alexa Bliss/Mandy Rose/Daria Berenato
Rose is from Tough Enough, Glenncross is from Scotland and Berenato is from New Jersey. You can tell Rose is glorified eye candy in the vein of the early days of Eva Marie. Graves: Mandy Rose is only second to one person in my heart: Eva Marie. Berenato (a newcomer just like Glenncross) is dressed like a boxer. Ten seconds in and Graves is reaching Jerry Lawler levels of drooling over the women.
Bliss and Nikki start things off with a quick cross body putting Alexa down. The villains take a break on the floor and it's off to Daria, who immediately takes her gloves off as we go to an early break. Back with Daria fighting out of Liv's chinlock before Bliss offers a distraction so the bad women can take over.
We hear about Daria's MMA training before it's off to Mandy with Graves losing his mind in the vein of Cole freaking out over Miz. A running knee puts Liv down before Daria comes back in for a kick to the chest. We hit the chinlock with a body vice and Daria even adds some trash talk. You don't see that enough.
Morgan enziguris Alexa down and the hot tag brings in Carmella to clean house. Carmella speeds things up with clotheslines and a hurricanrana to take Rose down for two. Everything breaks down and Mandy's rollup is countered into the Cone of Silence for the tap out at 11:35.
Regal tells security to keep Joe and Nakamura apart during their interview.
Ember Moon is coming.
We run down the card. I miss that happening on the main shows.
It's time for the sitdown interview with Joe and Nakamura. Both of them say they're excited to start before Joe says he doesn't like the lack of respect. Joe had to go through the entire roster for months to get a title shot but Nakamura beats Balor once and gets his shot. Bayley only had to ask for a rematch and Regal checked with Asuka to make sure it was ok. Nakamura says he's a calm man by definition, especially outside of the ring.
Joe says Nakamura came to his dojo for training earlier in his career. Nakamura doesn't remember it being Joe's dojo and smiles a lot. Joe respects what Nakamura has done but maybe not Shinsuke himself. In answer to the same question, Nakamura leans forward and smiles a lot which gets Joe out of his chair. Regal has security break it up.
One last Takeover ad ends the show.
Results
Hideo Itami b. Mustafa Ali Running knee
Carmella/Nikki Glenncross/Liv Morgan b. Daria Berenato/Alexa Bliss/Mandy Rose Cone of Silence to Rose
Thursday
Eva Marie has been suspended for thirty days for violating the Wellness Policy.
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
This should be an interesting show as we have the first tapings under Billy Corgan's watch. For perhaps the first time in at least ten years, we're looking at an Impact without Dixie Carter running things so it should be interesting to see how things look for a change. We're also about a month and a half away from Bound For Glory so it's time to start building towards the show. Let's get to it.
We open with a look at Lashley collecting all three singles titles.
Lashley walks up to Corgan and Dixie Carter as they talk to Aron Rex. A quick staredown ensues and Lashley keeps walking.
Here's James Storm to open things up. Storm wants referee Brian Hebner to come out here right now. As luck would have it he's already at ringside so they get straight to the point. James wants an explanation for why the three count at the bell last week didn't count. We see a clip of last week's match and Hebner is trying to get JB out of the ring instead of paying attention.
Storm has a point so he wants a rematch but here's Corgan to interrupt. Corgan says something about winning a game in the end but Storm correctly says this isn't football. All that matters is that Storm lost which Corgan says is because he can't win the big one. That's not cool with James as he pulls out a tool box and grabs a hammer. He helped build this company and he'll take it apart limb by limb, which means ripping off the turnbuckle pad to start.
Security comes in but Storm says a wrestler doesn't need security. He's the only legend that hasn't left because he cares about this company. A guard gets a Last Call and Storm gets in Corgan's face. James will leave now but says it won't go so well if their paths cross again. Storm leaves so Corgan suspends him indefinitely. I really, really hope this isn't a sign that Corgan is going to be around all the time.
Moose says Eddie Edwards isn't going to be a challenge.
Storm leaves in his truck.
Eddie Edwards vs. Moose
Moose throws him into the corner to start so Eddie changes tactics and starts speeding the match up. A dropkick puts Moose on the floor so Eddie can score with a running knee off the apron. It only works for a bit though as Mike Bennett offers a distraction so Moose can powerbomb Eddie onto the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock before Eddie dropkicks him out of the air (close enough at least). Moose cuts him off with a hard clothesline, only to have Eddie snap off a middle rope hurricanrana. He makes the mistake of hitting a suicide dive on Mike though, allowing Moose to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 6:18.
Maria tells Jade that she has to beat Gail Kim or no more title shots.
Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade spins out of a wristlock to start and gets two off a clothesline. Gail sends it outside but gets caught in a fireman's carry gutbuster. Back in and Jade avoids a cross body, only to miss a moonsault. A fight over a small package lands on Earl Hebner but Gail grabs Eat Defeat. There's no cover though as Sienna comes out to go after Gail for the DQ at 5:22.
Lashley laughs at the X-Division guys (all three of them) and says he has an announcement that's going to affect the entire division. DJZ decides that the winner of a three way match gets to challenge Lashley for the title.
Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews
Everyone goes after Spud to start, leaving the other three to all try covers for two each. DJZ dives onto Sutter and Mandrews, followed by Spud teasing a dive but stopping to do something....which we don't see as the camera cuts to the crowd instead. Back in and Spud goes after Sutter, only to have DJZ take him down with a suplex. A roll into a double DDT on Mandrews and Sutter is enough for DJZ to pin Mandrews at 4:40.
Ethan Carter III is going to answer Drew Galloway's challenge from last week.
Dixie yells at Corgan for suspending Storm. I'm so glad it took her forty five minutes to do this. She thinks everyone is on edge because of Lashley holding all three titles (huh?) so they're going to deal with it right now.
Ethan Carter III is in the ring and calls out Galloway to give him an answer. Drew doesn't think he's going to get what he wants, which is a chance to set things right. Carter surprises him by accepting but here's Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex says the entire universe has been watching Impact in the last few months. I could have sworn there were more than 350,000 people in the universe, or at least in the USA. Rex thinks both of them should have a fair shot so he's going to be the guest referee in their match.
Eli Drake says he made the King of the Mountain Title but Lashley cuts him off. Lashley doesn't need a catchphrase but Drake says he'll be taking any of those titles he wants. The champ really isn't interested and leaves, only to run into Sienna, who tells him to not be cute.
Jeff Hardy is looking at ladders but Matt says he's had a deletion telling him that there will be no jumping off a ladder tonight. These ladders are obsolete and Jeff agrees, shoving all of them over.
Here's Eli Drake for a match but first he has something to say. Drake isn't happy with having to see a bunch of James Storm vignettes before he just lost his match. He wants to hear Lashley's announcement right now but gets interrupted instead.
Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake
Shera slams him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Drake easily shrugs off everything Shera throws at him but misses an elbow drop of his own. The Sky High is broken up though and Blunt Force Trauma ends Shera at 2:38.
Lashley won't tell the bosses about his announcement.
Here's Lashley for his promised announcement, accompanied by people carring the King of the Mountain and X-Division Titles. Lashley has accomplished his goal and wants Dixie and Corgan out here right now. He says he has all the power because he's a businessman in addition to being a great wrestler. The bosses suck up to him but Lashley says he's going to unify the belts together and name himself the undisputed champion of wrestling. Dixie freaks out and says he can't do that and Corgan drops the President card.
Lashley calls the King of the Mountain Title garbage and throws it down. As for the X-Division, Lashley ripped its heart out and there's no reason for him to defend the title against any of them. That title is dropped as well, sending Dixie into her best Stephanie McMahon impression as she talks about respecting the company. Lashley doesn't care and walks out, saying he'll see them at Bound For Glory. Corgan says not so fast because next week there's a #1 contenders battle royal for a World Title shot. I really wouldn't mind if those titles went away. It's not like they've meant anything in years anyway.
Corgan says there will be a new X-Division Champion. And that champion will be treated like a big deal for all of a month before the title falls through the cracks again.
Tribunal vs. Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Helms Dynasty
Ladder match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot against Decay at Bound For Glory. Jeff throws in a ladder and we're at a break 12 seconds after the bell. Back with everyone not named Matt brawling all over the place and Matt yelling at Jeff on the outside. Matt pulls the ladder from the ring so the Tribunal finally starts beating him up. A double baseball slide sends the ladder into the Dynasty as things start to slow down.
Jeff dives at the Tribunal but leaves it a bit short, sending him mostly crashing onto the floor. Matt and Everett fight over a ladder but Matt has to stop and bite Trevor's hand. A lot of biting ensues before Matt goes after Raquel, only to have the BroMans beat him down. Baraka goes up but seems to be scared of heights, allowing the BroMans to make another save.
The BroDown off the ladder drops Dax but Matt freaks out again and screams at the announcers. That goes nowhere as the Dynasty beats up the BroMans. Jeff comes off a ladder in the corner to knock Everett off the ladder in the ring, resulting in another big crash. Matt climbs up and gets the contract at 14:08.
Results
Moose b. Eddie Edwards Chokebomb
Gail Kim b. Jade via DQ when Sienna interfered
DJZ b. Rockstar Spud, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter DDT to Mandrews
Eli Drake b. Mahabali Shera Blunt Force Trauma
Hardys b. BroMans, Tribunal and Helms Dynasty Matt pulled down the contract
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2016
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
It's Summerslam week and Brock Lesnar is here. On top of that things should be back to normal with the full roster back after their Australia/New Zealand tour last week. We should get one last push on all of the big matches, including Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the first ever Universal Title. Let's get to it.
Last week on Raw, Roman Reigns sent Lana into a cake and Seth Rollins didn't think much of Finn Balor.
Earlier today Rollins was outside waiting for his opponent Finn Balor, or the Demon King. He calls him out for a fight right then and there but no one showed up. Tonight he'll find Balor instead.
Lana and Rusev are in the ring with Lana saying they're not leaving the ring until everyone hears what they have to say. There will be no Raw until Reigns comes out here and apologizes. Instead he gets Mick Foley, now in a Have A Nice Raw shirt and with a beard that has its own zip code. Rusev yells a lot and says Foley sucks as a GM. He asks for Stephanie McMahon to come out here instead so here's the bigger boss to stick up for Foley.
Rusev threatens to call Vince or Shane but here's Roman to interrupt as well. They insult each other a bit (as heels and faces do) and a USA chant starts up, which is exactly what they were shooting for here. Rusev wants to defend Lana's honor so Mick makes the match tonight, albeit not for the title.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Before the match, Sheamus gets some promo time saying Sami is nothing to him because Sami talks a lot on Twitter but he's just a Sheamus knockoff. Sami throws his shirt at Sheamus and they're quickly brawling before the bell. Cesaro sits in on commentary as Sami forearms Sheamus in the corner. A headscissors only ticks Sheamus off and he sends Sami back first into the post as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus in control, as a heel should be when you come back from a break. A powerslam gets two on Sami as Cesaro talks about having an offer to go to Smackdown, which a talent like himself deserves. The ten forearms to the chest have Sami in trouble but he knocks Cesaro outside for the big flip dive.
Corey gets on Cesaro for talking about himself a lot and Cesaro brushes him off in a rather heelish manner. White Noise gets two for Sheamus and a Blue Thunder Bomb (Not Michinoku Driver Cole. Even Saxton can get that name right.) gets the same. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse but here's Cesaro for a distraction, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin on Sheamus at 10:14.
Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens say tonight's match between Owens and Big Cass isn't one on one because Jericho will have Kevin's back. Jericho wants to know who certified Enzo as a G. Does he even have a license to be a G? They're ready for their tag match at Summerslam too and tell Todd/Robert/Brian/Nathaniel so, despite the interviewer being named Tom. Now that was funny.
Post break Cesaro and Sheamus are brawling again when Foley comes in to break it up. Mick loves seeing them fight so we're getting a best of seven series. AFTER CESARO HAS ALREADY BEATEN HIM TWICE. Egads this booking makes my head hurt.
Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
Non-title and there's no Big E. at ringside. Before the match, Gallows and Anderson pop up on screen to say they're trying to cure Ringpostitis. They're doing everything they can to make sure their results aren't tainted, including putting eggs in microwaves. They're well endowed with the right equipment and the ball is in their court. The distraction lets D-Von take over on Woods to start but D-Von clotheslines Bubba by mistake. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on D-Von for the pin at 1:38.
Post match the doctors' experiment was a failure and they need more test subjects. Kofi wants to know why these two think this is a game. Summerslam is their anniversary of being champions and there's no way Anderson and Gallows are getting their hands on New Day's rocks.
Rollins is still looking for Balor but no one has seen him. This includes Neville, who says Rollins isn't ready for the Demon King. Seth yells a lot.
Nia Jax vs. Rachel Weaby
Rachel has blue hair, bright green and pink attire and a lot of tattoos. She's been watching the Olympics and is ready to bring home the gold. Nia throws her around and knocks her off the top with a single shot to the face. Rachel is out cold but Nia brings her back in for the fireman's carry into a powerslam for the pin at 1:05.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for their big talk before Summerslam. We see Orton and Lesnar trading sneak attacks in recent weeks. Heyman starts his catchphrase....and here's Heath Slater to interrupt. Paul hopes that someone put Heath up to this because it's really stupid.
All Heyman can do is laugh as Slater talks about Raw understanding what Smackdown can't get. Apparently if Slater fights Lesnar tonight, he gets a job. Heyman just ignores him and goes into his promo about Orton but Slater cuts them off again. Heath knows he's going to get hurt very badly but he has to do this for his kids. Brock actually talks because he can respect Slater fighting for his family. He actually wants to talk about Slater's kids....who he doesn't give a censored about.
Slater can walk out of here on his own two feet or stand here and keep ticking Brock off. Heath actually tries to fight and gets suplexed half to death, followed by the F5. Heyman puts on Heath's sunglasses and praises his courage before laughing at the idea of Orton being a viper. It's his job to hype up the match on Sunday but Lesnar won't believe a word Brock says about Orton being a real threat. Brock is the box office at Summerslam and you should buy it to see a once in a lifetime athlete. This FINALLY wraps up with Heyman saying Brock is dominant.
That's the problem with how Brock has been booked over the last year: if no one, including the reigning WWE World Champion, why in the world would I want to see him fight again? We know the ending because Brock can't be touched so it gets a little boring. Like Heyman's speech here, which just kept going and going as Heyman said the same thing he's said for over a year.
Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens
Before the match, Enzo talks about cooking zucchinis, sausage, burgers, frankfurters and those two pieces of Canadian bacon. Cass shoulders Owens down to start but Kevin knocks him off the apron and into the post as we take a break. Back with Cass breaking up the Cannonball with a boot to the face but getting sent outside again. Owens can't hit the apron powerbomb and gets backdropped, only to have Jericho jump Cass for the DQ at 6:23. Not enough to rate but Cass looked competitive here and that's all he needed to do.
Enzo and Cass get beaten down post match.
Reigns is ready to fight no matter what Rusev has ready for him. Rusev jumps him from behind and sends Reigns into a steel wall.
Prime Time Players vs. Shining Stars
Yes they were feuding just a week ago but earlier tonight Titus apologized so they're back together for a third run. Darren and Epico get things going before it's quickly off to Titus for a slam. Primo comes in and dropkicks Titus in the knee to take over, only to have Titus splash him in the corner. We get Titus suplexing Darren onto Primo for two but Bob Backlund accidentally distracts Titus, who is knocked off the apron by Darren. The Clash of the Titus plants Young and Primo gets the pin at 2:42.
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
Neville dropkicks him outside and hits a corkscrew moonsault to the floor. The Red Arrow doesn't work yet and Mahal kicks him in the face for two. A chinlock goes nowhere and Neville kicks him in the head to set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:57.
The bosses casually mention that Jon Stewart will be at Summerslam when Rollins comes in to find the Demon King. Mick suggests that he try it in the ring.
Here's Rollins to call out Balor and give him one more chance to show himself tonight. No one shows up so Rollins laughs it off and calls this match just another chapter in his book. He's the face of Balor's failure but something we can't see (maybe a fan jumping the barricade) cuts Seth off. Seth keeps laughing and the lights start flickering and go out. Red lights flash and here's Demon Balor for the first time in WWE.
The fans are getting into the arms pose now and that's a very good sign. Rollins has no idea what to think of this and Balor, now with writing all over the right side of his body, gets in his face. The fight is on and Balor cleans house as he should in this case. Balor misses the Coup de Grace but hits a flip dive over the top to take Rollins down. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of them having Demon Balor show up here. This match needs some buzz and this is going to do it.
We look back at Lana being sent into the cake last week.
Golden Truth vs. Gallows and Anderson
Gallows and Anderson are in their doctors' coats. Truth gets kicked in the face to start but gets in the spinning forearm for a breather. It's a double tag to Goldust and Anderson with Goldust hitting his bulldog and powerslam. Not that it matters as the Magic Killer ends Goldust at 2:18.
New Day comes in for the beatdown post match and it's Gallows saving Anderson from a trombone to the testicles.
Charlotte talks down to Dana Brooke about wanting a taste of the spotlight. Dana failed her when it mattered the most but Charlotte will win the title anyway. Charlotte leaves Dana in tears.
Alicia Fox vs. Charlotte
Sasha Banks is on commentary. Fox hits some dropkicks to start but gets pulled off the middle rope for two. Natural Selection ends Fox at 1:25.
Charlotte calls Sasha to the ring but Dana takes out Sasha's knee, setting up the Figure Eight.
Video on Braun Strowman.
Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Non-title. Roman goes right at him before the bell and kicks Rusev in the face. The apron boot makes it even worse for Rusev but he posts Reigns as we go to a break. We're joined in progress with Rusev working on Reigns' bad left arm. Reigns gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a Samoan Drop for a breather. They head outside with Reigns being sent into the steps a few times but Rusev has the US Title taken away from him as we take another break.
Back with Rusev grabbing the mic and saying we're all Russian wannabes. Rusev chokes Roman with his own ring gear, which isn't a DQ for reasons that aren't clear. Roman fights out and knocks Rusev off the top to set up a clothesline to put both guys down. The Superman Punch is countered and Rusev gets two off the spinwheel kick. Four straight middle rope headbutts get four straight near falls for Rusev.
The fifth finally misses and Reigns starts fighting back until a shot to the ribs slows him down. Rusev's superkick is countered with a Superman Punch for a good near fall. The spear is countered with a few kicks to the head for two more but the Accolade is broken up as well. Another superkick to the back sets up the Accolade until Reigns basically collapses into the ropes. Back up and the spear pins Rusev at 20:39.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus Brogue Kick
New Day b. Dudley Boyz Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Nia Jax b. Rachel Weaby Fireman's carry into a powerslam
Big Cass b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Shining Stars b. Prime Time Players Primo pinned Young after a Clash of the Titus from O'Neil
Neville b. Jinder Mahal Red Arrow
Gallows and Anderson b. Goldust Truth Magic Killer to Goldust
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox Natural Selection
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Spear
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 16, 2016
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield
It's the final show before Summerslam and it's time to see what the blue show has to offer. Odds are we'll be seeing a big build towards AJ Styles vs. John Cena II to go along with Smackdown World Champion Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler as guests on MizTV. We'll also have another chance to see Eva Marie's in ring debut. Let's get to it.
Randy Orton signs his contract vs. Brock Lesnar but warns the bosses that the match might be short because it only takes one RKO. Heath Slater brings in a fruit basket but Bryan sees the card: To Bob, my condolences. Slater can't believed that he's not being offered a contract so Orton eats an apple and says he has an idea. A secret alliance with Carlito?
Opening sequence.
We open with MizTV but Dean cuts off Miz's intro. Ziggler cuts off Dean's opening statement though and they go nose to nose. Miz talks about how this is a huge fight for the title at Summerslam and even he thought Ziggler was a write off. He was a flop like WWE's version of the Ghostbuster's reboot. Again, I'd like to point out: a two time World Champion and a four time Intercontinental Champion should never be considered a flop. All Dolph cares about is winning the title on Sunday.
Miz gets cut off again as Ziggler says all he wants to do is kick Ambrose's head off (of his face that is but I think I get what Dolph meant). Ziggler wants to hear Dean say he was the final push Dolph needed to get over the top. That earns a chuckle from Dean, who says the title isn't the goal. Winning the belt is just the start because that's the day the pressure really starts. Everyone knows Dolph can't handle pressure which is why he's never grabbed the ball and scored a touchdown. HE'S A TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND HE WON IT THE SAME WAY DEAN DID!
Ziggler gets serious and says Dean is going to have to give everything he has but it's not going to be enough to put Dolph away. As Dean is reaching down deep and looking for one last move BAM! Dolph lays him out with a superkick in mid sentence and says this Sunday, Dean will realize that he's that good. Ziggler's stuff was much better but this idea that Ziggler has never won the big one is ridiculous, especially coming from Ambrose. Or are they just burying the legacy of the World Heavyweight Championship and saying it doesn't mean a thing anymore?
During the break, Miz insulted Apollo Crews by calling him Apollo Creed, only to have Crews come out and beat Miz down. I had almost forgotten about that match so it's nice to get a quick something.
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango
Viktor and Gable start things off but Mojo tags himself in for a three point tackle. Konnor saves his partner from the Hype Rider and everything breaks down to take us to a break. Back with Ryder and Konnor reaching for tags as it's off to Jimmy vs. English. Jordan starts throwing suplexes and it's time for the parade of finishers, including a ridiculous four superkicks. Jimmy dives on most of his opponents, leaving English to take Grand Amplitude for the pin at 6:50.
Naomi vs. Eva Marie
Naomi's full outfit now lights up, including her hair, and she has a backpack full of glow in the dark material to throw to the crowd. It's certainly eye catching if nothing else. And Eva isn't here due to traffic issues so no match again. This is becoming the highlight of the show.
AJ Styles can't wait to see Alberto Del Rio beat up John Cena tonight but Del Rio tells him to stop living in the past.
Curt Hawkins is coming. Uh....yay.
Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton
So I guess just facing Lesnar last night doesn't count for some reason. Slater can barely walk so Orton easily takes over by hitting him in almost every body part. Orton keeps hammering away in the corner.....and that's a DQ at 1:00.
Orton destroys him post match and doesn't seem to notice that he lost. The elevated DDT onto the floor sets up some German suplexes and Brock's pose. An RKO leaves Slater out cold.
The Wyatts are here.
The bosses give Slater a contract so Heath brags about how he showed no mercy. Bryan thinks that's a great name for a pay per view but Slater thinks Bryan is Mick Foley and a bigger star than Roman Reigns. Oh and Shane is Stephanie. Slater signs and Shane takes the contract away but Slater keeps reading the bed he's laying on.
Erick Rowan vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title and the Wyatts came out during the break. Of note: Bray and Randy had a staredown as Orton was leaving. Dean tries Dirty Deeds thirty seconds in but settles with a dropkick to send Rowan outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Rowan takes over with a powerslam before sending Dean into the steps. Rowan slowly stomps and pounds in the corner, only to have Dean suplex him back down.
Mauro: WWE Champion Dean Ambrose willing to put it all on the line! Other than the title in this match that is. Erick kicks him in the face as JBL talks about opponents not expecting Dean to drop an elbow while they're standing up. You don't expect him to do something he does in almost every match? Speaking of which, Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin at 4:58.
Post match Bray looks at Rowan's mask and walks away. Good.
Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss/Natalya
Carmella and Natalya start things off with a headscissors sending Natalya flying. We hear about Daniel Bryan making a new Women's Title despite there being a total of five female wrestlers on the roster (I'm waiting on Eva to actually wrestle to count her and get it all the way up to six.). Natalya takes Carmella down and the heels take over until a diving tag brings in Becky. Everything breaks down and Natalya collides with Becky.....as Eva Marie comes out to her full entrance. This brings out Naomi for a chase to distract Natalya, setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 4:15.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto again. What did Kalisto do to deserve this kind of demotion?
Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, which we saw a few weeks ago.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
AJ is on commentary. Feeling out process to start until a hiptoss sends Del Rio outside and he takes a breather in the crowd. Back from an early break with Del Rio hitting a shot off the top but missing a charge to crash out onto the floor. Del Rio kicks him in the face (kind of) and avoids a charge to send Cena into the buckle.
AJ and Otunga keep arguing over respect with Styles calling him a rookie. Since this is a Del Rio match and you can guess what he's doing, I have the chance to flash back to Otunga being Styles' replacement at an autograph booth at this year's Axxess. I've never seen a line clear out so fast in my life. Alberto hits a DDT for two and we take another break.
Back with Del Rio diving into a dropkick as Cena starts his comeback. The Backstabber cuts him off and gives Alberto two, followed by the corner enziguri for the same. Cena reverses the cross armbreaker into the STF but Del Rio is too close to the ropes. The low superkick sets up the cross armbreaker but Cena escapes with a powerbomb. A quick AA gives Cena the pin at 16:56.
AJ runs in for a Phenomenal Forearm. Styles says he's tired of hearing that the future goes through Cena and he's going to be the new face that runs this place. He goes to leave but comes back for more, allowing Cena to hit the AA. Cena isn't done though and hits a big AA through the table to end the show.
Results
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros b. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango Grand Amplitude to English
Heath Slater b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton kept attacking in the corner
Dean Ambrose b. Erick Rowan Dirty Deeds
Carmella/Becky Lynch b. Natalya/Alexa Bliss Disarm-Her to Natalya
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio Attitude Adjustment
Wednesday
Paige and Alberto Del Rio have been suspended 30 days for violating the Wellness Policy.
NXT
Date: August 17, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It's the go home show for Takeover: Back to Brooklyn and that means it's time for the big hard push towards New York. Odds are we'll be getting the big showdown between Samoa Joe and Shinsuke Nakamura, possibly with Nakamura getting taken down as payback for embarrassing Joe last week. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Hideo Itami vs. Mustafa Ali
Ali is from the Cruiserweight Classic. Itami starts fast with the strikes and sends him to the apron for a baseball slide. Back in and Ali takes him down for a chinlock followed by a kick to the head for two. Itami is tired of playing around though and starts firing off the strikes, capped off by the running knee for the pin at 3:20.
Video on Bobby Roode. Any excuse to hear GLORIOUS is worth it.
Video on Asuka vs. Bayley, which makes it feel like the ultimate rematch and challenge for Bayley after she was destroyed in Dallas. Asuka has gotten even more aggressive since winning the title and Bayley could be in way over her head on this one. Bayley said the underdog has become the champion before and she's going to do it again.
Music video with footage of Aries vs. No Way Jose, Roode vs. Almas and the Tag Team Title match.
William Regal is talking about how awesome Takeover is going to be when Billie Kay comes in and asks why she's not on the card. Regal agrees and gives her a match with newcomer Ember Moon. Simple and effective again.
Carmella/Liv Morgan/Nikki Glenncross vs. Alexa Bliss/Mandy Rose/Daria Berenato
Rose is from Tough Enough, Glenncross is from Scotland and Berenato is from New Jersey. You can tell Rose is glorified eye candy in the vein of the early days of Eva Marie. Graves: Mandy Rose is only second to one person in my heart: Eva Marie. Berenato (a newcomer just like Glenncross) is dressed like a boxer. Ten seconds in and Graves is reaching Jerry Lawler levels of drooling over the women.
Bliss and Nikki start things off with a quick cross body putting Alexa down. The villains take a break on the floor and it's off to Daria, who immediately takes her gloves off as we go to an early break. Back with Daria fighting out of Liv's chinlock before Bliss offers a distraction so the bad women can take over.
We hear about Daria's MMA training before it's off to Mandy with Graves losing his mind in the vein of Cole freaking out over Miz. A running knee puts Liv down before Daria comes back in for a kick to the chest. We hit the chinlock with a body vice and Daria even adds some trash talk. You don't see that enough.
Morgan enziguris Alexa down and the hot tag brings in Carmella to clean house. Carmella speeds things up with clotheslines and a hurricanrana to take Rose down for two. Everything breaks down and Mandy's rollup is countered into the Cone of Silence for the tap out at 11:35.
Regal tells security to keep Joe and Nakamura apart during their interview.
Ember Moon is coming.
We run down the card. I miss that happening on the main shows.
It's time for the sitdown interview with Joe and Nakamura. Both of them say they're excited to start before Joe says he doesn't like the lack of respect. Joe had to go through the entire roster for months to get a title shot but Nakamura beats Balor once and gets his shot. Bayley only had to ask for a rematch and Regal checked with Asuka to make sure it was ok. Nakamura says he's a calm man by definition, especially outside of the ring.
Joe says Nakamura came to his dojo for training earlier in his career. Nakamura doesn't remember it being Joe's dojo and smiles a lot. Joe respects what Nakamura has done but maybe not Shinsuke himself. In answer to the same question, Nakamura leans forward and smiles a lot which gets Joe out of his chair. Regal has security break it up.
One last Takeover ad ends the show.
Results
Hideo Itami b. Mustafa Ali Running knee
Carmella/Nikki Glenncross/Liv Morgan b. Daria Berenato/Alexa Bliss/Mandy Rose Cone of Silence to Rose
Thursday
Eva Marie has been suspended for thirty days for violating the Wellness Policy.
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
This should be an interesting show as we have the first tapings under Billy Corgan's watch. For perhaps the first time in at least ten years, we're looking at an Impact without Dixie Carter running things so it should be interesting to see how things look for a change. We're also about a month and a half away from Bound For Glory so it's time to start building towards the show. Let's get to it.
We open with a look at Lashley collecting all three singles titles.
Lashley walks up to Corgan and Dixie Carter as they talk to Aron Rex. A quick staredown ensues and Lashley keeps walking.
Here's James Storm to open things up. Storm wants referee Brian Hebner to come out here right now. As luck would have it he's already at ringside so they get straight to the point. James wants an explanation for why the three count at the bell last week didn't count. We see a clip of last week's match and Hebner is trying to get JB out of the ring instead of paying attention.
Storm has a point so he wants a rematch but here's Corgan to interrupt. Corgan says something about winning a game in the end but Storm correctly says this isn't football. All that matters is that Storm lost which Corgan says is because he can't win the big one. That's not cool with James as he pulls out a tool box and grabs a hammer. He helped build this company and he'll take it apart limb by limb, which means ripping off the turnbuckle pad to start.
Security comes in but Storm says a wrestler doesn't need security. He's the only legend that hasn't left because he cares about this company. A guard gets a Last Call and Storm gets in Corgan's face. James will leave now but says it won't go so well if their paths cross again. Storm leaves so Corgan suspends him indefinitely. I really, really hope this isn't a sign that Corgan is going to be around all the time.
Moose says Eddie Edwards isn't going to be a challenge.
Storm leaves in his truck.
Eddie Edwards vs. Moose
Moose throws him into the corner to start so Eddie changes tactics and starts speeding the match up. A dropkick puts Moose on the floor so Eddie can score with a running knee off the apron. It only works for a bit though as Mike Bennett offers a distraction so Moose can powerbomb Eddie onto the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock before Eddie dropkicks him out of the air (close enough at least). Moose cuts him off with a hard clothesline, only to have Eddie snap off a middle rope hurricanrana. He makes the mistake of hitting a suicide dive on Mike though, allowing Moose to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 6:18.
Maria tells Jade that she has to beat Gail Kim or no more title shots.
Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade spins out of a wristlock to start and gets two off a clothesline. Gail sends it outside but gets caught in a fireman's carry gutbuster. Back in and Jade avoids a cross body, only to miss a moonsault. A fight over a small package lands on Earl Hebner but Gail grabs Eat Defeat. There's no cover though as Sienna comes out to go after Gail for the DQ at 5:22.
Lashley laughs at the X-Division guys (all three of them) and says he has an announcement that's going to affect the entire division. DJZ decides that the winner of a three way match gets to challenge Lashley for the title.
Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews
Everyone goes after Spud to start, leaving the other three to all try covers for two each. DJZ dives onto Sutter and Mandrews, followed by Spud teasing a dive but stopping to do something....which we don't see as the camera cuts to the crowd instead. Back in and Spud goes after Sutter, only to have DJZ take him down with a suplex. A roll into a double DDT on Mandrews and Sutter is enough for DJZ to pin Mandrews at 4:40.
Ethan Carter III is going to answer Drew Galloway's challenge from last week.
Dixie yells at Corgan for suspending Storm. I'm so glad it took her forty five minutes to do this. She thinks everyone is on edge because of Lashley holding all three titles (huh?) so they're going to deal with it right now.
Ethan Carter III is in the ring and calls out Galloway to give him an answer. Drew doesn't think he's going to get what he wants, which is a chance to set things right. Carter surprises him by accepting but here's Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex says the entire universe has been watching Impact in the last few months. I could have sworn there were more than 350,000 people in the universe, or at least in the USA. Rex thinks both of them should have a fair shot so he's going to be the guest referee in their match.
Eli Drake says he made the King of the Mountain Title but Lashley cuts him off. Lashley doesn't need a catchphrase but Drake says he'll be taking any of those titles he wants. The champ really isn't interested and leaves, only to run into Sienna, who tells him to not be cute.
Jeff Hardy is looking at ladders but Matt says he's had a deletion telling him that there will be no jumping off a ladder tonight. These ladders are obsolete and Jeff agrees, shoving all of them over.
Here's Eli Drake for a match but first he has something to say. Drake isn't happy with having to see a bunch of James Storm vignettes before he just lost his match. He wants to hear Lashley's announcement right now but gets interrupted instead.
Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake
Shera slams him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Drake easily shrugs off everything Shera throws at him but misses an elbow drop of his own. The Sky High is broken up though and Blunt Force Trauma ends Shera at 2:38.
Lashley won't tell the bosses about his announcement.
Here's Lashley for his promised announcement, accompanied by people carring the King of the Mountain and X-Division Titles. Lashley has accomplished his goal and wants Dixie and Corgan out here right now. He says he has all the power because he's a businessman in addition to being a great wrestler. The bosses suck up to him but Lashley says he's going to unify the belts together and name himself the undisputed champion of wrestling. Dixie freaks out and says he can't do that and Corgan drops the President card.
Lashley calls the King of the Mountain Title garbage and throws it down. As for the X-Division, Lashley ripped its heart out and there's no reason for him to defend the title against any of them. That title is dropped as well, sending Dixie into her best Stephanie McMahon impression as she talks about respecting the company. Lashley doesn't care and walks out, saying he'll see them at Bound For Glory. Corgan says not so fast because next week there's a #1 contenders battle royal for a World Title shot. I really wouldn't mind if those titles went away. It's not like they've meant anything in years anyway.
Corgan says there will be a new X-Division Champion. And that champion will be treated like a big deal for all of a month before the title falls through the cracks again.
Tribunal vs. Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Helms Dynasty
Ladder match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot against Decay at Bound For Glory. Jeff throws in a ladder and we're at a break 12 seconds after the bell. Back with everyone not named Matt brawling all over the place and Matt yelling at Jeff on the outside. Matt pulls the ladder from the ring so the Tribunal finally starts beating him up. A double baseball slide sends the ladder into the Dynasty as things start to slow down.
Jeff dives at the Tribunal but leaves it a bit short, sending him mostly crashing onto the floor. Matt and Everett fight over a ladder but Matt has to stop and bite Trevor's hand. A lot of biting ensues before Matt goes after Raquel, only to have the BroMans beat him down. Baraka goes up but seems to be scared of heights, allowing the BroMans to make another save.
The BroDown off the ladder drops Dax but Matt freaks out again and screams at the announcers. That goes nowhere as the Dynasty beats up the BroMans. Jeff comes off a ladder in the corner to knock Everett off the ladder in the ring, resulting in another big crash. Matt climbs up and gets the contract at 14:08.
Results
Moose b. Eddie Edwards Chokebomb
Gail Kim b. Jade via DQ when Sienna interfered
DJZ b. Rockstar Spud, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter DDT to Mandrews
Eli Drake b. Mahabali Shera Blunt Force Trauma
Hardys b. BroMans, Tribunal and Helms Dynasty Matt pulled down the contract