klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2016
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Things are starting to pick back up as we have thirteen days before Summerslam. The big story coming out of last week saw Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar trade assaults though there's no word on Lesnar being back this week. Other than that we have a rematch between Sheamus and Cesaro for reasons that aren't entirely clear. Let's get to it.
We open with a Last Week on Raw which covers Balor vs. Rollins, Reigns vs. Rusev, Lesnar getting RKO'ed and showing up on Smackdown to take out Orton. I like this idea but they need to speed it up a little.
Opening sequence.
Here are Enzo and Cass to open things up with Enzo saying Sasha Banks was smitten with him last week. There was as much chemistry as a science fair and he was hitting it to the track but Chris Gold Glove Jon Bon Jericho came out and pulled it back over the wall. Enzo and Cass are some Anaheim Angels on a Stairway to Heaven so welcome to the jungle you Axl Rose wannabe. Jericho comes out and calls them a couple of goofballs before Kevin Owens comes out.
Apparently Jimmin Marvinluter had a chat with them and now Owens has his back. They're closer than brothers, which Owens takes a few seconds to confirm. Cass thinks it's like Bert and Ernie where they're in the same bathtub scrubbing each others' backs. Owens calls Enzo a dead weight that Cass brought over to Raw with him so he doesn't like Cass anymore. Owens and Cass are about to fight but Jericho wasn't talking to the big mutton head Cass, even though he was looking right at him. Jericho: “I was talking to the hip hop hobbit.” A brawl is teased but nothing happens as we go to a break.
Enzo Amore vs. Chris Jericho
We actually wait to come back from commercial for the opening bell. Enzo starts fast with a dropkick and headscissors but gets run over by a shoulder. Owens, at ringside with Cass, runs his mouth as only he can. Jericho is sent to the floor with a baseball slide and a big staredown takes us to a break. Back with Jericho in control with chops in the corner, only to get caught with a middle rope DDT. Enzo tries another hurricanrana but gets caught in the Walls. The rope is grabbed but Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker. Cass and Owens get in a fight on the floor, ending with Cass coming in to boot Jericho for the DQ at 11:17.
Post match Cass issues the challenge for a tag match at Summerslam. The Canadians quickly accept.
Mick Foley is on the phone with Stephanie when Sasha Banks comes in. She wants to face Charlotte and Dana Brooke in a handicap match tonight. Instead Mick makes it Dana vs. Sasha tonight and if Sasha wins, it's one on one with Charlotte at Summerslam. Mick: “Good luck.” Sasha: “You don't need luck when you're the Boss.”
Braun Strowman vs. Jorel Nelson
Nelson is speechless about why he agreed to do this. Strowman kicks him off the apron and turns him inside out with a clothesline. The reverse chokeslam ends this at 1:00.
Mick Foley meets with Puff Daddy and receives front row tickets to his concert in Columbus, Ohio. New Day comes in and Puff eats some BootyO's. Big E. is out due to his injury from last week and Kofi makes rap jokes.
Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young
This would be the first match we saw last week. Darren hits him in the face to start so Titus hammers away. He loads up a quick powerslam but gets rolled up with Darren grabbing the trunks this time for the pin at 2:00. Keeping this short is the best thing that could happen tonight.
Here's Seth Rollins to open the second hour. The last few weeks have been a learning experience for everyone, including learning about his Summerslam opponent Finn Balor. He's followed Finn's career for years now and thought he was just a knockoff. “The Jared Leto to his Heath Ledger if you will.”
We see a clip from last week with Balor talking to Seth, which makes Rollins talk about how Finn Balor isn't even his real name. Apparently it's a famous warrior and a demon king, which would be like Seth calling himself Rambo Apocalypse. Seth wants to know the real Finn Balor who came in here and insulted Seth in his ring. Balor has had two matches in WWE and now he thinks he's some big star.
The reason Seth is so arrogant is because he knows his place in WWE. He's not ignorant and doesn't need to surround himself with myths and legends because he knows who he is. One day parents will tell their kids stories about Rollins conquering people like Brock Lesnar, John Cena and Roman Reigns. His legend will be expanded at Summerslam when he adds Balor's name to that list. As has been the case lately, Rollins was on point here.
We look back at Orton hitting the RKO on Lesnar last week and Lesnar retaliating.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
This is the other rematch from last week where Cesaro won. Apparently that wasn't enough to impress the bosses, which matters more than winning around here. Cesaro starts with a dropkick and scores with a suicide dive. Back in and Cesaro hits the running uppercut in the corner, only to get caught with the big ax handle as we take a break. We come back to Sheamus hitting a top rope shoulder for two and grabbing a chinlock.
White Noise is countered into a failed Swing attempt but the Brogue Kick misses as well. The Irish Curse and White Noise get two each and Sheamus is stunned. Sheamus goes up top but gets dropkicked down, setting up the uppercut train on the floor. The referee gets in the way of a right hand and doesn't see Sheamus rolling Cesaro up. Back up and Cesaro grabs a rollup of his own for the pin at 11:00.
We look at Lesnar attacking Orton on Smackdown. That's the third time in ninety minutes.
Long video on Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar, including sitdown interviews with each talking about their time together in Ohio Valley Wrestling. The talent level down there was unheard of with Orton, Lesnar, Cena, Shelton Benjamin and Batista all in the same place. They debuted in 2002 and both took their own paths to greatness though Lesnar reached his peak far faster.
Then Lesnar left because he didn't like people to pursue his fortunes elsewhere. Lesnar: “I became a megastar and he became just a star.” Heyman says Orton is the best surfer on the beach, riding all those big waves. But then Lesnar is the shark. We see Lesnar laying Orton out on Smackdown for the fourth time tonight but Orton says it only takes one RKO. Good stuff here, even though they really don't have history together.
Lesnar is here next week.
Dudley Boyz vs. Sin Cara/Neville
This is due to the Bubba and D-Von doing their usual “you're new and therefore you suck” speech to Neville earlier in the day. Sin Cara is dressed like Black Panther tonight. Bubba pounds Neville into the corner to start and the old guys take turns in the corner. D-Von is in a regular t-shirt this week for a new look. Bubba goes after Neville and gets sent outside for a flip dive from Cara. Back in and D-Von takes over with a big elbow drop for two but misses a charge into the corner. It's off to Neville who ducks a D-Von clothesline to send it into Bubba, setting up the Red Arrow to pin D-Von at 5:18.
Bubba gives D-Von an angry glare post match. I blame the shirt change.
Here are Rusev and Lana in their wedding clothes with a wedding party set up. They're here to talk about their very special occasion and we get to experience their wedding day. We see a package of wedding photos and I flash back to last year when Lana was taken off TV for revealing the engagement. Yeah it's almost like that MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER. The fans call this boring which Rusev interprets as them wanting MORE MORE MORE. They're about to exchange their wedding vows again when Roman Reigns comes out to interrupt.
The fans boo because they have no idea how wrestling works or what they want out of their time here. Reigns was in the back watching and wondered why Rusev didn't have a best man. Maybe Roman can fill in that role and offers to give the newlyweds a toast. Rusev says no, so Reigns issues a challenge for Summerslam. Roman pours a drink and makes wedding night jokes, causing Rusev to go after him. A right hand knocks Rusev into Lana, sending her right into the wedding cake. Lana: “I HATE YOU!!!”
This is exactly the kind of thing that Reigns needs to do: simple stories that should get him cheered because he's doing something people want him to see. This was a really basic idea but it's going to set up the title match and gives people a reason to cheer Reigns and boo Rusev. Old school stories still work just fine and I have no idea why people hate them so much.
Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
Non-title and if Sasha wins Dana is banned from ringside at Summerslam. Sasha takes her down to start but gets taken to the mat. Charlotte slaps Dana in the face by mistake and gets dropped by the champ. Back up and Dana misses a charge in the corner, setting up the double knees in the corner to give Sasha the pin at 2:17.
We get a sitdown talk from Finn Balor who talks about the origin of his name, including a famous warrior named Finn. Then there was the king of the demons: Balor. These aren't just stories but rather a source of power. When a warrior knows his power isn't enough, he can tap into these things and become greater than himself. Seth has never seen a demon like this but he'll meet the king at Summerslam.
Anderson and Gallows are dressed like doctors to discuss a condition called ringpostitis, which has been sweeping through the roster as of late. We see clips of Big E. getting crotched on the post last week and Anderson has a jar with ping pong balls inside. They recently performed surgery and the results were nuts. It makes you want to ball your eyes out and Gallows got a little testy. Tonight they collect another sample from Kofi Kingston. I love little vignettes like this, if nothing else just to spice things up a bit.
Kofi Kingston vs. Luke Gallows
Kofi starts fast and sends Gallows outside for a flip dive. Gallows takes over on the floor and muscles Kofi back in for a fireman's carry flapjack and the pin at 1:33. They're certainly not taking their time tonight.
Woods has to save Kofi from a post crotching.
Earlier today, Goldust met with Scooby-Doo and R-Truth thinks he's been replaced by man's best friend. A fight almost breaks out but Goldust suggests they go watch the new WWE Scooby-Doo movie together and eat some Scooby Snacks. The first movie was entertaining so I'm fine with this.
Here's Mick Foley for his big meeting with Daniel Bryan. They praise each other a bit before talking about Orton vs. Lesnar last week. Foley also isn't happy with Bryan degrading the Universal Title and wondering when the Milky Way Title was coming up. Mick says this isn't a joke and here's Rusev, in ring gear, to interrupt.
Rusev sucks up to Mick, which Bryan thinks is a way out of his match with Roman Reigns. This brings out Cesaro to say he's earned a championship match in his last two performances. Bryan: “Cesaro, I think you've been completely underutilized on Raw.” Foley: “Stay out of this Daniel.” Mick makes the title match right here, right now.
US Title: Cesaro vs. Rusev
Cesaro is challenging and the bell rings at 11:01pm. Rusev goes after the arm to start and Cesaro is in early trouble. A whip into the corner puts Cesaro down again but he comes back with the running uppercuts. Rusev knocks him down again but the Accolade is countered into an electric chair drop. A slugout goes to Cesaro and the springboard uppercut drops the champ.
The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter and here's Sheamus to break it up. The distraction lets Rusev hit the superkick for two. I bought that as the finish. Sheamus gets up AGAIN and the distraction leads to a ref bump, meaning there's no count on the Neutralizer. Rusev pokes Cesaro in the eye to set up a Brogue Kick, followed by another kick to the head to retain the title at 9:50.
We're not done with the stupid as Rusev holds up the title and stares straight ahead for a good three seconds so Reigns can run down the aisle and spear him to end the show.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Enzo Amore via DQ when Big Cass interfered
Braun Strowman b. Jorel Nelson – Reverse chokeslam
Darren Young b. Titus O'Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Sin Cara/Neville b. Dudley Boyz – Red Arrow to D-Von
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Double knees to the chest
Luke Gallows b. Kofi Kingston – Fireman's carry flapjack
Rusev b. Cesaro – Kick to the head
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 9, 2016
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
Summerslam is coming up but tonight is going to be another light show as a bunch of the roster is off on a tour of Australia. Tonight is again going to be focused on Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler and their upcoming WWE World Title match, though there's the chance that the Wyatts will be involved as well. Let's get to it.
Randy Orton is ready to kill Brock Lesnar's legend because all it takes is one RKO to get to Viperville. Alberto Del Rio comes up and says that sounds like Disneyland so Orton offers to give him a VIP tour.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan to open the show. Last week Bray did NOT fall to Dolph Ziggler because he was a victim. Ziggler was desperate and in that desperation came a ram into the turnbuckle because it was the only way. You can't defeat Bray Wyatt because he is everywhere. There is no red or blue because this is him against the world.
Cue Dean Ambrose to say this is a new era because Bray is talking about how he's a victim. That sounds like a baby instead of an eater of worlds. Bray invites him into the ring but Dean is smarter than that. This brings out Ziggler who charges into the ring on his own with Dean coming in a few seconds later. Rowan is sent outside but Dolph superkicks Dean by accident, only to eat Sister Abigail.
Post break, Ambrose yells at Ziggler until the bosses come up and make the tag match. As usual I can only wonder why we need both Bryan and Shane for this segment. One of them accomplishes the same as two but we get both of them anyway.
American Alpha vs. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea
Before the match, Ascension, the Vaudevillains and the Hype Bros come out to watch. Alpha starts on Vega's leg, followed by the double dropkick and the Grand Amplitude for the pin at 1:11.
All four teams brawl post match with Alpha cleaning house. As they brawl, the announcers talk about the upcoming Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
Miz and Maryse are at Renee Young's interview desk and nearly crawl over her as she sends us to a video package on Miz's #1 contender Apollo Crews. Back with Miz and Maryse laying on the table with Miz calling his wife a modern day Aphrodite. That's enough for Renee as she throws it back to the arena.
Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie
Eva gets her big over the top entrance and breaks her top on the way off the turnbuckle so again no match.
Post match Becky vents some frustration and issues an open challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Bliss in control for a bit until Becky makes a comeback with a clothesline and the Bexploder. Now here's Eva Marie with the big voiceover doing the full entrance again, allowing Bliss to hit a choke shove and Twisted Bliss for the pin at 2:32. Bliss was fine here but I'm not wild on the Divas being more sexualized again. They did just fine and got better than ever without it but now we seem to be seeing it again.
Post match Eva calls this a shame but she'll make her debut next week.
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
The fans chant RKO to start and Orton takes over with some right hands in the corner. Del Rio comes back with a knee to the ribs and then stands there for a second, allowing Orton to snap him back first across the ropes. Back from a break with Orton going shoulder first into the steps and Del Rio working on an armbar.
Alberto gets the armbreaker across the top rope for a few seconds but gets crotched on top for taking too long. That means the superplex but Orton has to escape an armbreaker attempt. The elevated DDT doesn't set up the RKO as Orton takes it outside and loads up the announcers' table instead. That takes too long as well though and Del Rio hits him in the arm with a chair for the DQ at 12:20.
Post match Orton hits the RKO to prevent another chair shot.
Heath Slater asks Rhyno to lay down for him. Rhyno says no because he needs to impress his constituents in his Michigan State Senate district (where he really is up for election). Slater suddenly can't remember how many kids he has so Rhyno says no.
Miz arrived earlier today and met Scooby-Doo, demanding that all of his new DVDs are immediately recalled. Scooby shoves him in a van and steals Miz's car.
Heath Slater vs. Rhyno
Rhyno beats him up to start and shrugs off everything Slater can throw at him. A belly to belly gets two on Heath but he avoids a charge to send Rhyno into the buckle. That's only good for two though as Slater is caught with his feet on the ropes, setting up the Gore to give Rhyno the pin at 3:03.
We go to the Wyatts with Rowan talking about wolves being led by a sheep. Bray says Rowan has always been a good soldier (Good?) but tonight he wants Erick to be ready to give his life for the cause.
After a break the bosses are considering giving Heath a job for his fighting spirit until Slater comes in to yell at them for embarrassing him in front of his seven kids. Heath says Smackdown doesn't deserve him and storms off. They change their mind on the contract.
Carmella vs. Natalya
Natalya jumps her during the entrance and sends her throat first into the ropes. A stomping in the corner makes the orange Carmella scream and we're off to a bow and arrow. It's off to the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting Carmella's leg to make it even worse. Nattie By Nature connects but Carmella kicks off the Sharpshooter and puts on her headscissors crossface for the tap at 4:12.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. John Cena.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto for costing him the triple threat last week.
Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dean Ambrose
The Wyatts run the good guys over to start and Rowan hits a clothesline to send Dolph outside as we take a break less than ninety seconds in. Back with Dean getting the hot tag to clean house, only to spend too much time on the floor with Rowan so Bray can take him down with a big clothesline. Bray sends Dean outside again for the release Rock Bottom on the apron, only to have to escape Dirty Deeds.
Instead Dean hits a swinging neckbreaker and makes the real hot tag to Ziggler. Everything breaks down and Rowan's spinning kick to the face gets two on Dolph. The Zig Zag gets the same with Bray making the save but Dean breaks up Sister Abigail. Dean's suicide dive gets tangled up in the ropes and he crashes down to the floor, leaving Rowan to eat the superkick for the pin at 10:40.
Dean gives him Dirty Deeds as a receipt for earlier in the night. A BIG YES chant ends the show.
Results
American Alpha b. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea – Grand Amplitude to Vega
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair
Rhyno b. Heath Slater – Gore
Carmella b. Natalya – Headscissors Crossface
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler b. Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt – Superkick to Rowan
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 10, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
With Takeover: Brooklyn just ten days away, it's time to start the final push towards the big show. In this case we have the contract signing between Bayley and the now evil Asuka for their Women's Title match as well as (more than likely at least) a showdown between Samoa Joe and Shinsuke Nakamura. Let's get to it.
A very happy Bobby Roode exits William Regal's office.
Opening sequence.
We open with the contract signing with both women coming to the ring and Regal moderating. Bayley talks about last year in Brooklyn being her dream but Dallas being her nightmare. She wasn't ready in Texas but now she's a different person and ready to take the title back. Asuka says Bayley isn't ready and offers a handshake but Bayley doesn't fall for it. They both sign and the champ offers another handshake but Bayley slaps it away and leaves. We're not done yet though as Bayley gets back in and does the big staredown.
Authors of Pain vs. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz
The Authors don't have names yet so we'll say #1 throws Nailz into the corner. #2 comes in and tosses Ryzin around with ease. Stereo powerbombs set up the clothesline/legsweep combo for the pin at 1:20.
The beating continues post match but TM61 comes in for the brawl, only to get powerbombed as well.
Nakamura says he isn't hard to find and he'll find Joe when he wants to.
Andrade Cien Almas vs. Angelo Dawkins
I saw this match at a house show recently. Dawkins runs him over to start and we're in the chinlock after about a minute. Almas comes back with a kick into the corner and the running knees, followed by a hammerlock DDT for the pin on Dawkins at 2:20. The silence when Almas won is a really bad sign as he's just flopped so hard coming out of the gate.
Post match here's Bobby Roode to say that he's been to see William Regal and the two of them will be facing off in Brooklyn. Almas doesn't need to get a big head though because the people will be there to see Bobby Roode and Bobby Roode alone.
Austin Aries is explaining the health benefits of eating oranges to William Regal before saying he wants a match at Takeover because it's supposed to be special. Regal agrees and make Aries vs. No Way Jose.
Liv Morgan vs. Billie Kay
Kay takes it to the mat with an armbar to start but Morgan climbs up on her hands and spins into a headscissors to escape. A discus forearm puts Morgan right back down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and the big boot puts Morgan away at 3:12.
We look at Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano from last week in the Cruiserweight Classic.
Regal (we've seen a lot of him tonight) gives Ciampa and Gargano a Tag Team Title shot in Brooklyn.
Ember Moon is coming in Brooklyn. This time we can see a woman's eyes.
Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark vs. Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano
Gagano and Clark get things going with Johnny easily wrestling him to the mat. It's off to Knight to splash Ciampa in the corner before Gargano and Ciampa turn up the serious and kick the jobbers down. The running knee/superkick combination put Knight away at 3:13.
We look back at Hideo Itami's return match last week.
Mojo Rawley won't stand for being attacked by Samoa Joe and he's bringing the fight tonight. It's about getting even, not getting hyped.
Samoa Joe vs. Mojo Rawley
Non-title. Mojo goes right after Joe to start and actually succeeds with a headbutt. The champ pounds him down with the snap jabs to the jaw but Mojo still won't give up and knocks him into the corner again. Mojo charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner though and the Koquina Clutch gives Joe the win at 4:35.
Post match Joe keeps the hold on until Nakamura comes down. Security holds Joe back so Nakamura puts his hand on Joe's face and then slaps him. Joe is barely controllable to end the show.
Results
Authors of Pain b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz – Clothesline/Russian legsweep combo to Nailz
Andrade Cien Almas b. Angelo Dawkins – Hammerlock DDT
Billie Kay b. Liv Morgan – Big Boot
Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano b. Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark – Superkick/running knee combo to Clark
Samoa Joe b. Mojo Rawley – Koquina Clutch
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
It's the start of a fresh taping cycle here and we have a big main event as Bobby Lashley and James Storm face off in a winner take all match for all three men's singles titles. On top of that there's a new name debuting tonight which could make things a bit more interesting around here. The name is pretty much confirmed but I'll spare you the spoiler in case you haven't see it yet. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event where Ethan Carter III beat Mike Bennett to advance to Bound For Glory.
We also hear from James Storm about not having a one on one World Title match in five years.
Here's Ethan to open the shirt. Fans: “NEXT WORLD CHAMP!” Ethan: “Spoiler alert!” Carter talks about everything he's done in TNA, including campaigning for a World Title shot. However, now he's on a quest to be the best. Cue Lashley to say cut this off because it's his show.
Lashley lists off all the people he's better than but here's James Storm to interrupt. Storm goes on about how Lashley is jumping the gun (with his mic sounding way off) and tells Lashley to come fight him right now. Lashley and Storm fight to the back but here are Bennett and Moose to go after Carter. It's Eddie Edwards coming out for the save and the ring is cleared. Eddie wants to do their tag match right now.
Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett/Moose
The opening bell takes us to a break about fifteen seconds in. Back with Carter fighting out of trouble and making the tag off to Eddie. Bennett gets kicked in the ribs a few times but an elbow to the jaw allows the big tag to Moose. The power game starts fast with Eddie getting dropkicked off the top and out to the floor in a crash.
The villains take turns on Eddie until he rolls over for the hot tag to Ethan. Everything breaks down and Carter/Edwards hit stereo suicide dives for a nice visual. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana takes Moose down, only to have him pull Eddie off the top with a lifting powerbomb. That's not enough for Bennett though as he makes a blind tag and pins Bennett at 11:14.
We look at Storm winning the TNA World Title five years ago. It's taken him twenty years to get into the best shape of his life and he's doing it for the people who have believed in him since day one.
Here's the former Damien Sandow for his TNA debut under the name Aron Rex. He still holds the mic like a wine glass and says TNA is willing to let him talk on live TV. Aron isn't here to talk about glass ceilings and brass rings because he's out here to tell the truth. For those that used to employ him, don't worry because this isn't about him. This is about the paying customer (So not fans here at this show.) and the fans.
Some people have labeled him as too entertaining to compete for World Titles. No matter what any authority figure says, everyone in the ring works for the fans. Some people are chosen to receive opportunity after opportunity while there are others who seize opportunity when it's on an even playing field.
Rex lists off some names that have proven that former WWE wrestlers can get a push around here. Given how the same four or five names dominated the TNA World Title over the years, TNA really doesn't have room to brag about that. It's gotten better in recent years but after so many years of Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy and Sting, that's a bit hard to take. His name is Aron Rex and he's here in TNA. Rex got a great reaction and they're smart to play to this area, but TNA has some issues with letting people into the main event scene. Hopefully he's more of an Ethan Carter style guy though because that's been a great success.
Gail Kim asks Maria what she has to do tonight and gets jumped from behind by Marti Belle. Maria makes Marti vs. Gail, No DQ.
Edwards yells at Bennett and Moose for cheating to win (they didn't really cheat) and wants Bennett one on one tonight.
Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim
No DQ. It's a brawl in the aisle to start as Maria and Ashley try their best to come down to the ring in heels. Gail yells at Allie so Marti can get in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Some suplexes have Gail in trouble and her comeback is cut off by another Allie distraction. Back in and Gail takes over with a few clotheslines followed by most of a Blockbuster for two. Maria interferes this time and tells Allie to hit Gail with Marti's baton, only to have Gail send Marti into Allie. A small package pins Marti at 4:19.
The beatdown is on post match until Jade runs in for the save and decks Allie. Maria gives Jade a match against Gail next week.
Matt Hardy is riding in a car and tells whoever is driving to take him to the obsolete mule. We see Jeff standing by a pond and it's Vanguard 1 driving the car. Matt tells Jeff that he had a premonition of Decay trying to abduct Maxill so Reby and Maxill are at the Hardy Compound. Vanguard 1 is sent to the Compound to help guard them (with Vanguard's monitor saying GOODBYE) and Matt tells Jeff to get ready for his match.
James Storm wants to win the title for his family.
Next week: Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Tribunal vs. Helms Dynasty in a ladder match for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. Sweet goodness they have a lot of ladder matches around here. It's like triple threats in the WWE turned up even further. Just wrestle already and cut out the hardware.
Here's Matt with a threat to eat and delete anyone who questions his genius. We hear about his premonition and Matt orders Jeff down here to help him win the Tag Team Titles. Jeff mouths the words to his song and all of Matt's intro for him. Matt says it's time to fight but Jeff wants to ask why Matt bit that fan's face last week. I'd rather like to know why no one has suspended Matt for his actions, or why the Dixie vs. Corgan feud was dropped with no explanation (I'd like to know who pulled the plug so I can send them a fruit basket and a shop vac.).
Jeff tries to get Matt to forget all this and help him fight but Matt says the Hardys are done. Cue the Tribunal with Al Snow saying he's been to crazy town before but thinks Matt has gone over the edge. We get some standard French people are snooty insults and a bell rings.
Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy vs. Tribunal
We take a break so early that I don't even have anything to talk about before the commercial. Back with Jeff in trouble and being double teamed. A quick comeback doesn't get him anywhere as Matt won't tag in, allowing Baron to take him down by the arm. The arm work continues as we go to Matt, who is looking straight into the eyes of a fan with a Jeff sign.
The fan starts saying DELETE as Matt has hypnotized him. Snow comes over with the whistle so Matt bites his finger (triggering rapid fire whistling) and beats on Dax with a boot. Jeff makes his comeback and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin at 7:14. We didn't see enough of the match for me to rate it but this was just angle advancement.
Post match Matt says that was close to good so Jeff snaps and hits a few Twists on Snow and the Frenchmen. Jeff puts Snow through a table at ringside and then puts himself through a second table because the only person that punishes Jeff is Jeff. Matt laughs maniacally and Jeff says he is Brother Nero. Matt is thrilled because Jeff is finally broken.
Lashley comes up to Dixie and Corgan in the back and isn't happy that Storm is getting these vignettes tonight. Corgan says Lashley had the same offer but turned it down. Lashley doesn't seem to care.
Decay says they're the past, present and future. Abyss credits Decay with his beauty and Rosemary says what happened to Bram was a lesson.
Here's Drew Galloway for a chat. Drew hasn't been around for awhile because of everything that has happened to him recently. He's known that he needs to be away because he'll get thrown out and then go to jail if he does what he wants. It's been sixteen years to try to become World Champion and then it was ripped away from his hands. Then Ethan Carter III cost him his chance in the Bound For Glory Playoff.
Everyone has been telling him that Ethan is his friend but this is three times (losing the title, losing the rematch and losing in the Playoff) that Ethan has ripped him off. Now Drew knows that Ethan is trying to destroy his career so Galloway wants one more match: Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III for the spot in the Bound For Glory main event.
Storm is tired of people telling him he can't do it.
TNA World Title/X-Division Title/King of the Mountain Title: Lashley vs. James Storm
Winner take all. Storm hits a Last Call at the bell and gets a delayed two because the referee is out of position. A staggered Lashley bails out to the floor and Storm knocks him around until we take a break. Back with Lashley in control with his power offense in the corner. Storm has nothing to fight back against the big heavy shots until Lashley misses a charge and gets caught in the Eye of the Storm.
Lashley rips the turnbuckle pad off to avoid a rollup before kicking Storm into the exposed steel. A spinebuster and the spear give Lashley two. Back to back Last Calls get two for Storm and so much for that finisher. The fourth Last Call is countered but Storm hits Closing Time, only to have Lashley hit a spear to win the title at 16:40.
Lashley celebrates and here's Aron Rex to stare down Lashley to end the show.
Results
Mike Bennett/Moose b. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III – Lifting powerbomb to Edwards
Gail Kim b. Marti Belle – Small package
Matt and Jeff Hardy b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Dax
Lashley b. James Storm – Spear
Friday
Billy Corgan has replaced Dixie Carter as TNA President. Carter will be Chairman of the Board.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Chris Jericho b. Enzo Amore via DQ when Big Cass interfered
Braun Strowman b. Jorel Nelson – Reverse chokeslam
Darren Young b. Titus O'Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Sin Cara/Neville b. Dudley Boyz – Red Arrow to D-Von
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Double knees to the chest
Luke Gallows b. Kofi Kingston – Fireman's carry flapjack
Rusev b. Cesaro – Kick to the head
Smackdown
American Alpha b. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea – Grand Amplitude to Vega
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair
Rhyno b. Heath Slater – Gore
Carmella b. Natalya – Headscissors Crossface
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler b. Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt – Superkick to Rowan
NXT
Authors of Pain b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz – Clothesline/Russian legsweep combo to Nailz
Andrade Cien Almas b. Angelo Dawkins – Hammerlock DDT
Billie Kay b. Liv Morgan – Big Boot
Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano b. Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark – Superkick/running knee combo to Clark
Samoa Joe b. Mojo Rawley – Koquina Clutch
Impact Wrestling
Mike Bennett/Moose b. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III – Lifting powerbomb to Edwards
Gail Kim b. Marti Belle – Small package
Matt and Jeff Hardy b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Dax
Lashley b. James Storm – Spear
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2016
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Things are starting to pick back up as we have thirteen days before Summerslam. The big story coming out of last week saw Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar trade assaults though there's no word on Lesnar being back this week. Other than that we have a rematch between Sheamus and Cesaro for reasons that aren't entirely clear. Let's get to it.
We open with a Last Week on Raw which covers Balor vs. Rollins, Reigns vs. Rusev, Lesnar getting RKO'ed and showing up on Smackdown to take out Orton. I like this idea but they need to speed it up a little.
Opening sequence.
Here are Enzo and Cass to open things up with Enzo saying Sasha Banks was smitten with him last week. There was as much chemistry as a science fair and he was hitting it to the track but Chris Gold Glove Jon Bon Jericho came out and pulled it back over the wall. Enzo and Cass are some Anaheim Angels on a Stairway to Heaven so welcome to the jungle you Axl Rose wannabe. Jericho comes out and calls them a couple of goofballs before Kevin Owens comes out.
Apparently Jimmin Marvinluter had a chat with them and now Owens has his back. They're closer than brothers, which Owens takes a few seconds to confirm. Cass thinks it's like Bert and Ernie where they're in the same bathtub scrubbing each others' backs. Owens calls Enzo a dead weight that Cass brought over to Raw with him so he doesn't like Cass anymore. Owens and Cass are about to fight but Jericho wasn't talking to the big mutton head Cass, even though he was looking right at him. Jericho: “I was talking to the hip hop hobbit.” A brawl is teased but nothing happens as we go to a break.
Enzo Amore vs. Chris Jericho
We actually wait to come back from commercial for the opening bell. Enzo starts fast with a dropkick and headscissors but gets run over by a shoulder. Owens, at ringside with Cass, runs his mouth as only he can. Jericho is sent to the floor with a baseball slide and a big staredown takes us to a break. Back with Jericho in control with chops in the corner, only to get caught with a middle rope DDT. Enzo tries another hurricanrana but gets caught in the Walls. The rope is grabbed but Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker. Cass and Owens get in a fight on the floor, ending with Cass coming in to boot Jericho for the DQ at 11:17.
Post match Cass issues the challenge for a tag match at Summerslam. The Canadians quickly accept.
Mick Foley is on the phone with Stephanie when Sasha Banks comes in. She wants to face Charlotte and Dana Brooke in a handicap match tonight. Instead Mick makes it Dana vs. Sasha tonight and if Sasha wins, it's one on one with Charlotte at Summerslam. Mick: “Good luck.” Sasha: “You don't need luck when you're the Boss.”
Braun Strowman vs. Jorel Nelson
Nelson is speechless about why he agreed to do this. Strowman kicks him off the apron and turns him inside out with a clothesline. The reverse chokeslam ends this at 1:00.
Mick Foley meets with Puff Daddy and receives front row tickets to his concert in Columbus, Ohio. New Day comes in and Puff eats some BootyO's. Big E. is out due to his injury from last week and Kofi makes rap jokes.
Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young
This would be the first match we saw last week. Darren hits him in the face to start so Titus hammers away. He loads up a quick powerslam but gets rolled up with Darren grabbing the trunks this time for the pin at 2:00. Keeping this short is the best thing that could happen tonight.
Here's Seth Rollins to open the second hour. The last few weeks have been a learning experience for everyone, including learning about his Summerslam opponent Finn Balor. He's followed Finn's career for years now and thought he was just a knockoff. “The Jared Leto to his Heath Ledger if you will.”
We see a clip from last week with Balor talking to Seth, which makes Rollins talk about how Finn Balor isn't even his real name. Apparently it's a famous warrior and a demon king, which would be like Seth calling himself Rambo Apocalypse. Seth wants to know the real Finn Balor who came in here and insulted Seth in his ring. Balor has had two matches in WWE and now he thinks he's some big star.
The reason Seth is so arrogant is because he knows his place in WWE. He's not ignorant and doesn't need to surround himself with myths and legends because he knows who he is. One day parents will tell their kids stories about Rollins conquering people like Brock Lesnar, John Cena and Roman Reigns. His legend will be expanded at Summerslam when he adds Balor's name to that list. As has been the case lately, Rollins was on point here.
We look back at Orton hitting the RKO on Lesnar last week and Lesnar retaliating.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
This is the other rematch from last week where Cesaro won. Apparently that wasn't enough to impress the bosses, which matters more than winning around here. Cesaro starts with a dropkick and scores with a suicide dive. Back in and Cesaro hits the running uppercut in the corner, only to get caught with the big ax handle as we take a break. We come back to Sheamus hitting a top rope shoulder for two and grabbing a chinlock.
White Noise is countered into a failed Swing attempt but the Brogue Kick misses as well. The Irish Curse and White Noise get two each and Sheamus is stunned. Sheamus goes up top but gets dropkicked down, setting up the uppercut train on the floor. The referee gets in the way of a right hand and doesn't see Sheamus rolling Cesaro up. Back up and Cesaro grabs a rollup of his own for the pin at 11:00.
We look at Lesnar attacking Orton on Smackdown. That's the third time in ninety minutes.
Long video on Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar, including sitdown interviews with each talking about their time together in Ohio Valley Wrestling. The talent level down there was unheard of with Orton, Lesnar, Cena, Shelton Benjamin and Batista all in the same place. They debuted in 2002 and both took their own paths to greatness though Lesnar reached his peak far faster.
Then Lesnar left because he didn't like people to pursue his fortunes elsewhere. Lesnar: “I became a megastar and he became just a star.” Heyman says Orton is the best surfer on the beach, riding all those big waves. But then Lesnar is the shark. We see Lesnar laying Orton out on Smackdown for the fourth time tonight but Orton says it only takes one RKO. Good stuff here, even though they really don't have history together.
Lesnar is here next week.
Dudley Boyz vs. Sin Cara/Neville
This is due to the Bubba and D-Von doing their usual “you're new and therefore you suck” speech to Neville earlier in the day. Sin Cara is dressed like Black Panther tonight. Bubba pounds Neville into the corner to start and the old guys take turns in the corner. D-Von is in a regular t-shirt this week for a new look. Bubba goes after Neville and gets sent outside for a flip dive from Cara. Back in and D-Von takes over with a big elbow drop for two but misses a charge into the corner. It's off to Neville who ducks a D-Von clothesline to send it into Bubba, setting up the Red Arrow to pin D-Von at 5:18.
Bubba gives D-Von an angry glare post match. I blame the shirt change.
Here are Rusev and Lana in their wedding clothes with a wedding party set up. They're here to talk about their very special occasion and we get to experience their wedding day. We see a package of wedding photos and I flash back to last year when Lana was taken off TV for revealing the engagement. Yeah it's almost like that MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER. The fans call this boring which Rusev interprets as them wanting MORE MORE MORE. They're about to exchange their wedding vows again when Roman Reigns comes out to interrupt.
The fans boo because they have no idea how wrestling works or what they want out of their time here. Reigns was in the back watching and wondered why Rusev didn't have a best man. Maybe Roman can fill in that role and offers to give the newlyweds a toast. Rusev says no, so Reigns issues a challenge for Summerslam. Roman pours a drink and makes wedding night jokes, causing Rusev to go after him. A right hand knocks Rusev into Lana, sending her right into the wedding cake. Lana: “I HATE YOU!!!”
This is exactly the kind of thing that Reigns needs to do: simple stories that should get him cheered because he's doing something people want him to see. This was a really basic idea but it's going to set up the title match and gives people a reason to cheer Reigns and boo Rusev. Old school stories still work just fine and I have no idea why people hate them so much.
Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke
Non-title and if Sasha wins Dana is banned from ringside at Summerslam. Sasha takes her down to start but gets taken to the mat. Charlotte slaps Dana in the face by mistake and gets dropped by the champ. Back up and Dana misses a charge in the corner, setting up the double knees in the corner to give Sasha the pin at 2:17.
We get a sitdown talk from Finn Balor who talks about the origin of his name, including a famous warrior named Finn. Then there was the king of the demons: Balor. These aren't just stories but rather a source of power. When a warrior knows his power isn't enough, he can tap into these things and become greater than himself. Seth has never seen a demon like this but he'll meet the king at Summerslam.
Anderson and Gallows are dressed like doctors to discuss a condition called ringpostitis, which has been sweeping through the roster as of late. We see clips of Big E. getting crotched on the post last week and Anderson has a jar with ping pong balls inside. They recently performed surgery and the results were nuts. It makes you want to ball your eyes out and Gallows got a little testy. Tonight they collect another sample from Kofi Kingston. I love little vignettes like this, if nothing else just to spice things up a bit.
Kofi Kingston vs. Luke Gallows
Kofi starts fast and sends Gallows outside for a flip dive. Gallows takes over on the floor and muscles Kofi back in for a fireman's carry flapjack and the pin at 1:33. They're certainly not taking their time tonight.
Woods has to save Kofi from a post crotching.
Earlier today, Goldust met with Scooby-Doo and R-Truth thinks he's been replaced by man's best friend. A fight almost breaks out but Goldust suggests they go watch the new WWE Scooby-Doo movie together and eat some Scooby Snacks. The first movie was entertaining so I'm fine with this.
Here's Mick Foley for his big meeting with Daniel Bryan. They praise each other a bit before talking about Orton vs. Lesnar last week. Foley also isn't happy with Bryan degrading the Universal Title and wondering when the Milky Way Title was coming up. Mick says this isn't a joke and here's Rusev, in ring gear, to interrupt.
Rusev sucks up to Mick, which Bryan thinks is a way out of his match with Roman Reigns. This brings out Cesaro to say he's earned a championship match in his last two performances. Bryan: “Cesaro, I think you've been completely underutilized on Raw.” Foley: “Stay out of this Daniel.” Mick makes the title match right here, right now.
US Title: Cesaro vs. Rusev
Cesaro is challenging and the bell rings at 11:01pm. Rusev goes after the arm to start and Cesaro is in early trouble. A whip into the corner puts Cesaro down again but he comes back with the running uppercuts. Rusev knocks him down again but the Accolade is countered into an electric chair drop. A slugout goes to Cesaro and the springboard uppercut drops the champ.
The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter and here's Sheamus to break it up. The distraction lets Rusev hit the superkick for two. I bought that as the finish. Sheamus gets up AGAIN and the distraction leads to a ref bump, meaning there's no count on the Neutralizer. Rusev pokes Cesaro in the eye to set up a Brogue Kick, followed by another kick to the head to retain the title at 9:50.
We're not done with the stupid as Rusev holds up the title and stares straight ahead for a good three seconds so Reigns can run down the aisle and spear him to end the show.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Enzo Amore via DQ when Big Cass interfered
Braun Strowman b. Jorel Nelson – Reverse chokeslam
Darren Young b. Titus O'Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Sin Cara/Neville b. Dudley Boyz – Red Arrow to D-Von
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Double knees to the chest
Luke Gallows b. Kofi Kingston – Fireman's carry flapjack
Rusev b. Cesaro – Kick to the head
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 9, 2016
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
Summerslam is coming up but tonight is going to be another light show as a bunch of the roster is off on a tour of Australia. Tonight is again going to be focused on Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler and their upcoming WWE World Title match, though there's the chance that the Wyatts will be involved as well. Let's get to it.
Randy Orton is ready to kill Brock Lesnar's legend because all it takes is one RKO to get to Viperville. Alberto Del Rio comes up and says that sounds like Disneyland so Orton offers to give him a VIP tour.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan to open the show. Last week Bray did NOT fall to Dolph Ziggler because he was a victim. Ziggler was desperate and in that desperation came a ram into the turnbuckle because it was the only way. You can't defeat Bray Wyatt because he is everywhere. There is no red or blue because this is him against the world.
Cue Dean Ambrose to say this is a new era because Bray is talking about how he's a victim. That sounds like a baby instead of an eater of worlds. Bray invites him into the ring but Dean is smarter than that. This brings out Ziggler who charges into the ring on his own with Dean coming in a few seconds later. Rowan is sent outside but Dolph superkicks Dean by accident, only to eat Sister Abigail.
Post break, Ambrose yells at Ziggler until the bosses come up and make the tag match. As usual I can only wonder why we need both Bryan and Shane for this segment. One of them accomplishes the same as two but we get both of them anyway.
American Alpha vs. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea
Before the match, Ascension, the Vaudevillains and the Hype Bros come out to watch. Alpha starts on Vega's leg, followed by the double dropkick and the Grand Amplitude for the pin at 1:11.
All four teams brawl post match with Alpha cleaning house. As they brawl, the announcers talk about the upcoming Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
Miz and Maryse are at Renee Young's interview desk and nearly crawl over her as she sends us to a video package on Miz's #1 contender Apollo Crews. Back with Miz and Maryse laying on the table with Miz calling his wife a modern day Aphrodite. That's enough for Renee as she throws it back to the arena.
Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie
Eva gets her big over the top entrance and breaks her top on the way off the turnbuckle so again no match.
Post match Becky vents some frustration and issues an open challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Bliss in control for a bit until Becky makes a comeback with a clothesline and the Bexploder. Now here's Eva Marie with the big voiceover doing the full entrance again, allowing Bliss to hit a choke shove and Twisted Bliss for the pin at 2:32. Bliss was fine here but I'm not wild on the Divas being more sexualized again. They did just fine and got better than ever without it but now we seem to be seeing it again.
Post match Eva calls this a shame but she'll make her debut next week.
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
The fans chant RKO to start and Orton takes over with some right hands in the corner. Del Rio comes back with a knee to the ribs and then stands there for a second, allowing Orton to snap him back first across the ropes. Back from a break with Orton going shoulder first into the steps and Del Rio working on an armbar.
Alberto gets the armbreaker across the top rope for a few seconds but gets crotched on top for taking too long. That means the superplex but Orton has to escape an armbreaker attempt. The elevated DDT doesn't set up the RKO as Orton takes it outside and loads up the announcers' table instead. That takes too long as well though and Del Rio hits him in the arm with a chair for the DQ at 12:20.
Post match Orton hits the RKO to prevent another chair shot.
Heath Slater asks Rhyno to lay down for him. Rhyno says no because he needs to impress his constituents in his Michigan State Senate district (where he really is up for election). Slater suddenly can't remember how many kids he has so Rhyno says no.
Miz arrived earlier today and met Scooby-Doo, demanding that all of his new DVDs are immediately recalled. Scooby shoves him in a van and steals Miz's car.
Heath Slater vs. Rhyno
Rhyno beats him up to start and shrugs off everything Slater can throw at him. A belly to belly gets two on Heath but he avoids a charge to send Rhyno into the buckle. That's only good for two though as Slater is caught with his feet on the ropes, setting up the Gore to give Rhyno the pin at 3:03.
We go to the Wyatts with Rowan talking about wolves being led by a sheep. Bray says Rowan has always been a good soldier (Good?) but tonight he wants Erick to be ready to give his life for the cause.
After a break the bosses are considering giving Heath a job for his fighting spirit until Slater comes in to yell at them for embarrassing him in front of his seven kids. Heath says Smackdown doesn't deserve him and storms off. They change their mind on the contract.
Carmella vs. Natalya
Natalya jumps her during the entrance and sends her throat first into the ropes. A stomping in the corner makes the orange Carmella scream and we're off to a bow and arrow. It's off to the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting Carmella's leg to make it even worse. Nattie By Nature connects but Carmella kicks off the Sharpshooter and puts on her headscissors crossface for the tap at 4:12.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. John Cena.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto for costing him the triple threat last week.
Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dean Ambrose
The Wyatts run the good guys over to start and Rowan hits a clothesline to send Dolph outside as we take a break less than ninety seconds in. Back with Dean getting the hot tag to clean house, only to spend too much time on the floor with Rowan so Bray can take him down with a big clothesline. Bray sends Dean outside again for the release Rock Bottom on the apron, only to have to escape Dirty Deeds.
Instead Dean hits a swinging neckbreaker and makes the real hot tag to Ziggler. Everything breaks down and Rowan's spinning kick to the face gets two on Dolph. The Zig Zag gets the same with Bray making the save but Dean breaks up Sister Abigail. Dean's suicide dive gets tangled up in the ropes and he crashes down to the floor, leaving Rowan to eat the superkick for the pin at 10:40.
Dean gives him Dirty Deeds as a receipt for earlier in the night. A BIG YES chant ends the show.
Results
American Alpha b. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea – Grand Amplitude to Vega
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair
Rhyno b. Heath Slater – Gore
Carmella b. Natalya – Headscissors Crossface
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler b. Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt – Superkick to Rowan
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 10, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
With Takeover: Brooklyn just ten days away, it's time to start the final push towards the big show. In this case we have the contract signing between Bayley and the now evil Asuka for their Women's Title match as well as (more than likely at least) a showdown between Samoa Joe and Shinsuke Nakamura. Let's get to it.
A very happy Bobby Roode exits William Regal's office.
Opening sequence.
We open with the contract signing with both women coming to the ring and Regal moderating. Bayley talks about last year in Brooklyn being her dream but Dallas being her nightmare. She wasn't ready in Texas but now she's a different person and ready to take the title back. Asuka says Bayley isn't ready and offers a handshake but Bayley doesn't fall for it. They both sign and the champ offers another handshake but Bayley slaps it away and leaves. We're not done yet though as Bayley gets back in and does the big staredown.
Authors of Pain vs. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz
The Authors don't have names yet so we'll say #1 throws Nailz into the corner. #2 comes in and tosses Ryzin around with ease. Stereo powerbombs set up the clothesline/legsweep combo for the pin at 1:20.
The beating continues post match but TM61 comes in for the brawl, only to get powerbombed as well.
Nakamura says he isn't hard to find and he'll find Joe when he wants to.
Andrade Cien Almas vs. Angelo Dawkins
I saw this match at a house show recently. Dawkins runs him over to start and we're in the chinlock after about a minute. Almas comes back with a kick into the corner and the running knees, followed by a hammerlock DDT for the pin on Dawkins at 2:20. The silence when Almas won is a really bad sign as he's just flopped so hard coming out of the gate.
Post match here's Bobby Roode to say that he's been to see William Regal and the two of them will be facing off in Brooklyn. Almas doesn't need to get a big head though because the people will be there to see Bobby Roode and Bobby Roode alone.
Austin Aries is explaining the health benefits of eating oranges to William Regal before saying he wants a match at Takeover because it's supposed to be special. Regal agrees and make Aries vs. No Way Jose.
Liv Morgan vs. Billie Kay
Kay takes it to the mat with an armbar to start but Morgan climbs up on her hands and spins into a headscissors to escape. A discus forearm puts Morgan right back down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and the big boot puts Morgan away at 3:12.
We look at Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano from last week in the Cruiserweight Classic.
Regal (we've seen a lot of him tonight) gives Ciampa and Gargano a Tag Team Title shot in Brooklyn.
Ember Moon is coming in Brooklyn. This time we can see a woman's eyes.
Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark vs. Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano
Gagano and Clark get things going with Johnny easily wrestling him to the mat. It's off to Knight to splash Ciampa in the corner before Gargano and Ciampa turn up the serious and kick the jobbers down. The running knee/superkick combination put Knight away at 3:13.
We look back at Hideo Itami's return match last week.
Mojo Rawley won't stand for being attacked by Samoa Joe and he's bringing the fight tonight. It's about getting even, not getting hyped.
Samoa Joe vs. Mojo Rawley
Non-title. Mojo goes right after Joe to start and actually succeeds with a headbutt. The champ pounds him down with the snap jabs to the jaw but Mojo still won't give up and knocks him into the corner again. Mojo charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner though and the Koquina Clutch gives Joe the win at 4:35.
Post match Joe keeps the hold on until Nakamura comes down. Security holds Joe back so Nakamura puts his hand on Joe's face and then slaps him. Joe is barely controllable to end the show.
Results
Authors of Pain b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz – Clothesline/Russian legsweep combo to Nailz
Andrade Cien Almas b. Angelo Dawkins – Hammerlock DDT
Billie Kay b. Liv Morgan – Big Boot
Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano b. Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark – Superkick/running knee combo to Clark
Samoa Joe b. Mojo Rawley – Koquina Clutch
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
It's the start of a fresh taping cycle here and we have a big main event as Bobby Lashley and James Storm face off in a winner take all match for all three men's singles titles. On top of that there's a new name debuting tonight which could make things a bit more interesting around here. The name is pretty much confirmed but I'll spare you the spoiler in case you haven't see it yet. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event where Ethan Carter III beat Mike Bennett to advance to Bound For Glory.
We also hear from James Storm about not having a one on one World Title match in five years.
Here's Ethan to open the shirt. Fans: “NEXT WORLD CHAMP!” Ethan: “Spoiler alert!” Carter talks about everything he's done in TNA, including campaigning for a World Title shot. However, now he's on a quest to be the best. Cue Lashley to say cut this off because it's his show.
Lashley lists off all the people he's better than but here's James Storm to interrupt. Storm goes on about how Lashley is jumping the gun (with his mic sounding way off) and tells Lashley to come fight him right now. Lashley and Storm fight to the back but here are Bennett and Moose to go after Carter. It's Eddie Edwards coming out for the save and the ring is cleared. Eddie wants to do their tag match right now.
Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett/Moose
The opening bell takes us to a break about fifteen seconds in. Back with Carter fighting out of trouble and making the tag off to Eddie. Bennett gets kicked in the ribs a few times but an elbow to the jaw allows the big tag to Moose. The power game starts fast with Eddie getting dropkicked off the top and out to the floor in a crash.
The villains take turns on Eddie until he rolls over for the hot tag to Ethan. Everything breaks down and Carter/Edwards hit stereo suicide dives for a nice visual. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana takes Moose down, only to have him pull Eddie off the top with a lifting powerbomb. That's not enough for Bennett though as he makes a blind tag and pins Bennett at 11:14.
We look at Storm winning the TNA World Title five years ago. It's taken him twenty years to get into the best shape of his life and he's doing it for the people who have believed in him since day one.
Here's the former Damien Sandow for his TNA debut under the name Aron Rex. He still holds the mic like a wine glass and says TNA is willing to let him talk on live TV. Aron isn't here to talk about glass ceilings and brass rings because he's out here to tell the truth. For those that used to employ him, don't worry because this isn't about him. This is about the paying customer (So not fans here at this show.) and the fans.
Some people have labeled him as too entertaining to compete for World Titles. No matter what any authority figure says, everyone in the ring works for the fans. Some people are chosen to receive opportunity after opportunity while there are others who seize opportunity when it's on an even playing field.
Rex lists off some names that have proven that former WWE wrestlers can get a push around here. Given how the same four or five names dominated the TNA World Title over the years, TNA really doesn't have room to brag about that. It's gotten better in recent years but after so many years of Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy and Sting, that's a bit hard to take. His name is Aron Rex and he's here in TNA. Rex got a great reaction and they're smart to play to this area, but TNA has some issues with letting people into the main event scene. Hopefully he's more of an Ethan Carter style guy though because that's been a great success.
Gail Kim asks Maria what she has to do tonight and gets jumped from behind by Marti Belle. Maria makes Marti vs. Gail, No DQ.
Edwards yells at Bennett and Moose for cheating to win (they didn't really cheat) and wants Bennett one on one tonight.
Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim
No DQ. It's a brawl in the aisle to start as Maria and Ashley try their best to come down to the ring in heels. Gail yells at Allie so Marti can get in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Some suplexes have Gail in trouble and her comeback is cut off by another Allie distraction. Back in and Gail takes over with a few clotheslines followed by most of a Blockbuster for two. Maria interferes this time and tells Allie to hit Gail with Marti's baton, only to have Gail send Marti into Allie. A small package pins Marti at 4:19.
The beatdown is on post match until Jade runs in for the save and decks Allie. Maria gives Jade a match against Gail next week.
Matt Hardy is riding in a car and tells whoever is driving to take him to the obsolete mule. We see Jeff standing by a pond and it's Vanguard 1 driving the car. Matt tells Jeff that he had a premonition of Decay trying to abduct Maxill so Reby and Maxill are at the Hardy Compound. Vanguard 1 is sent to the Compound to help guard them (with Vanguard's monitor saying GOODBYE) and Matt tells Jeff to get ready for his match.
James Storm wants to win the title for his family.
Next week: Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Tribunal vs. Helms Dynasty in a ladder match for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. Sweet goodness they have a lot of ladder matches around here. It's like triple threats in the WWE turned up even further. Just wrestle already and cut out the hardware.
Here's Matt with a threat to eat and delete anyone who questions his genius. We hear about his premonition and Matt orders Jeff down here to help him win the Tag Team Titles. Jeff mouths the words to his song and all of Matt's intro for him. Matt says it's time to fight but Jeff wants to ask why Matt bit that fan's face last week. I'd rather like to know why no one has suspended Matt for his actions, or why the Dixie vs. Corgan feud was dropped with no explanation (I'd like to know who pulled the plug so I can send them a fruit basket and a shop vac.).
Jeff tries to get Matt to forget all this and help him fight but Matt says the Hardys are done. Cue the Tribunal with Al Snow saying he's been to crazy town before but thinks Matt has gone over the edge. We get some standard French people are snooty insults and a bell rings.
Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy vs. Tribunal
We take a break so early that I don't even have anything to talk about before the commercial. Back with Jeff in trouble and being double teamed. A quick comeback doesn't get him anywhere as Matt won't tag in, allowing Baron to take him down by the arm. The arm work continues as we go to Matt, who is looking straight into the eyes of a fan with a Jeff sign.
The fan starts saying DELETE as Matt has hypnotized him. Snow comes over with the whistle so Matt bites his finger (triggering rapid fire whistling) and beats on Dax with a boot. Jeff makes his comeback and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin at 7:14. We didn't see enough of the match for me to rate it but this was just angle advancement.
Post match Matt says that was close to good so Jeff snaps and hits a few Twists on Snow and the Frenchmen. Jeff puts Snow through a table at ringside and then puts himself through a second table because the only person that punishes Jeff is Jeff. Matt laughs maniacally and Jeff says he is Brother Nero. Matt is thrilled because Jeff is finally broken.
Lashley comes up to Dixie and Corgan in the back and isn't happy that Storm is getting these vignettes tonight. Corgan says Lashley had the same offer but turned it down. Lashley doesn't seem to care.
Decay says they're the past, present and future. Abyss credits Decay with his beauty and Rosemary says what happened to Bram was a lesson.
Here's Drew Galloway for a chat. Drew hasn't been around for awhile because of everything that has happened to him recently. He's known that he needs to be away because he'll get thrown out and then go to jail if he does what he wants. It's been sixteen years to try to become World Champion and then it was ripped away from his hands. Then Ethan Carter III cost him his chance in the Bound For Glory Playoff.
Everyone has been telling him that Ethan is his friend but this is three times (losing the title, losing the rematch and losing in the Playoff) that Ethan has ripped him off. Now Drew knows that Ethan is trying to destroy his career so Galloway wants one more match: Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III for the spot in the Bound For Glory main event.
Storm is tired of people telling him he can't do it.
TNA World Title/X-Division Title/King of the Mountain Title: Lashley vs. James Storm
Winner take all. Storm hits a Last Call at the bell and gets a delayed two because the referee is out of position. A staggered Lashley bails out to the floor and Storm knocks him around until we take a break. Back with Lashley in control with his power offense in the corner. Storm has nothing to fight back against the big heavy shots until Lashley misses a charge and gets caught in the Eye of the Storm.
Lashley rips the turnbuckle pad off to avoid a rollup before kicking Storm into the exposed steel. A spinebuster and the spear give Lashley two. Back to back Last Calls get two for Storm and so much for that finisher. The fourth Last Call is countered but Storm hits Closing Time, only to have Lashley hit a spear to win the title at 16:40.
Lashley celebrates and here's Aron Rex to stare down Lashley to end the show.
Results
Mike Bennett/Moose b. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III – Lifting powerbomb to Edwards
Gail Kim b. Marti Belle – Small package
Matt and Jeff Hardy b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Dax
Lashley b. James Storm – Spear
Friday
Billy Corgan has replaced Dixie Carter as TNA President. Carter will be Chairman of the Board.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Chris Jericho b. Enzo Amore via DQ when Big Cass interfered
Braun Strowman b. Jorel Nelson – Reverse chokeslam
Darren Young b. Titus O'Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Sin Cara/Neville b. Dudley Boyz – Red Arrow to D-Von
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Double knees to the chest
Luke Gallows b. Kofi Kingston – Fireman's carry flapjack
Rusev b. Cesaro – Kick to the head
Smackdown
American Alpha b. Mike Vega/Mikey O'Shea – Grand Amplitude to Vega
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair
Rhyno b. Heath Slater – Gore
Carmella b. Natalya – Headscissors Crossface
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler b. Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt – Superkick to Rowan
NXT
Authors of Pain b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz – Clothesline/Russian legsweep combo to Nailz
Andrade Cien Almas b. Angelo Dawkins – Hammerlock DDT
Billie Kay b. Liv Morgan – Big Boot
Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano b. Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark – Superkick/running knee combo to Clark
Samoa Joe b. Mojo Rawley – Koquina Clutch
Impact Wrestling
Mike Bennett/Moose b. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III – Lifting powerbomb to Edwards
Gail Kim b. Marti Belle – Small package
Matt and Jeff Hardy b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Dax
Lashley b. James Storm – Spear