Week of 7/5/10 - 7/11/10 (Weekend)

Discussion in 'The Weekly Wrestling Review' started by klunderbunker, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. klunderbunker

    klunderbunker Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House

    Jan 8, 2007
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    Nothing of note.


    Victory Road
    Date: July 11, 2010
    Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
    Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

    Well I’m not wild on the card but they’ve done a great job of building up to this if nothing else. The main event just does nothing at all for me, but then again neither does the rest of the card. This isn’t going to be much, but the build has been good so maybe there’s some hope. I’ll be watching it out of order but there’s nothing I can do about that. Let’s get to it.

    Intro video is just about the road to victory. Seriously is that all they can do for this show?

    X Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams

    This is Ultimate X/Submission which is about as odd of a combination as you could ask for. Williams almost immediately takes him to the mat as he’s afraid of heights. Well at least they’re giving Kendrick every possible out they can. Now let’s see how they manage to mess it up. Kendrick only goes for the Cobra Clutch and neither guy tries to climb yet.

    In essence this is just a submission match with the Ultimate X aspect on the side. Naturally they couldn’t just do a submission match because they can advertise Ultimate X to boost buyrates. Who cares that it’s hardly used? They both go up the trellis thing and then Kendrick falls off. Yep he’s out cold. Williams gets some gloves to help him climb as he kills time.

    He comes back up though and follows Williams across the ropes. Like an idiot he goes for the Cobra Clutch while hanging on to the ropes and falls backwards, smashing his head into the mat. He was legitimately injured or out cold. Williams throws a hold on him and the referee stops it. Something tells me that wasn’t the planned ending. They have to bring out smelling salts to wake him up.

    Christy is with Ray who says that just like Christy’s issue of Playboy, Jesse Neal is a failure. He gets in her face and makes her cry. We see the same recap video we saw on Impact which gives us nothing about why Bubba is mad but whatever.

    Brother Ray vs. Brother D-Von vs. Jesse Neal

    Let’s get this over with. Ray comes out first and hides behind the set. He jumps Neal and there’s no D-Von. We cut to the back where D-Von is locked in his dressing room, presumably by Bubba. Clearly the cameraman has no arms because he doesn’t let him out which would involve moving a board. Oh look: more kind of false advertising as it’s the same match from last month.

    Again we hear about how much Neal’s life has sucked. We get it already guys, let it go. No one cares about Neal and that’s all there is to it. This is nothing but basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for D-Von to come running out for the big save or beatdown or whatever. Ray of course uses the damn big boot because that’s all anyone uses for a big strike anymore. The ECW guys are here.

    They distract Bubba a bit and Neal gets a spear for two. Shannon Moore comes down for a save which lets Ray hit Neal with a chair. D-Von finally comes out and there’s a staredown. They both look at Jesse and then slug it out. Neal accidently spears D-Von and a Bubba Bomb ends it. D-Von was in the ring for maybe a minute total.

    We recap Love vs. Rayne which shows why the division completely sucks anymore. The BP and Love are the only ones in the division worth a damn anymore and that’s not saying much.

    Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

    If Rayne wins then Love retires and she can lose the belt by DQ. We start with a big slugout. Rayne is in skin colored clothes. And remember people: these chicks are WAY better than the Divas and don’t you forget it. I really can’t stand this division anymore as it’s somehow more of a joke than WWE.

    Rayne wraps her legs around Love’s head and slams it face first into the mat. Her finisher doesn’t work and Love makes her comeback. Rayne brings in a chair and gets it kicked into her face. Can we get on with this? And here’s a chick on a motorcycle. She jumps Love and the referee determines that since she’s either Velvet or Lacey (she’s in a helmet) Rayne is disqualified and Love is champion. Rayne leaves with the chick that just cost her the belt of course. Allegedly it’s Tara, because she retired recently and therefore has to come back immediate.

    We go back to Anderson who makes pot jokes and says nothing of note other than the assholes line.

    AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. ???/???

    AJ and Kaz can’t get along so of course they’re going to win. The surprises are Terry and Joe. Sure, why not have a guy that is a champion be brought in as a surprise? We can’t have him fight for the title on PPV when we have Ray vs. Neal II!!! AJ vs. Terry start us off and AJ tags out in seconds. The surprise team completely dominates for the early few minutes as you would expect.

    AJ and Kaz are getting along quite well. Oh and remember: this isn’t about the wrestlers. This is about impressing Flair. AJ isn’t here for titles. He’s here to make sure Flair is happy. TNA makes my head hurt at times. Instead of going with AJ as the top guy, he’s running around imitating Flair and trying to make him happy. It’s more of TNA wasting what they have for angles that they think people actually want to see.

    Instead of talking about the match, we talk about the ranking system. This is ALL Terry/Joe. Ah wait we can talk about Flair a bit now. Wolfe of all people comes down for interference (he jobbed in a dark match of course) and Kaz takes over. AJ hits the springboard 450 on Terry for the pin. They didn’t argue ONCE. Joe beats up Wolfe post match.

    Abyss likes his nail board.

    Recap of Morgan vs. Hernandez. Morgan got all cocky and injured Hernandez. Hernandez wants revenge. I love simple angles.

    Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

    This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.

    This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.

    He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?

    Flair talks about how great he is and Lethal’s mom’s boobs.

    Tenay and Taz say exactly what Flair just said.

    We get a video saying what Tenay and Taz just said.

    Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal

    Come see a senior citizen get pounded! Lethal wears red and yellow as a tribute to Hogan. Seriously, can ANYTHING not be about Hogan or Flair in some way? Taz says Flair is Mr. Credibility. Taz now is fail. Sting can wear a shirt but Flair can’t? Once again the crowd is relatively dead. Flair only does simple stuff like thumbs to the eyes. Could it have anything to do with being 61?

    Lethal hits a top rope superplex. Flair is just fine and goes after the knee. The fans chant for Flair, thereby showing how horrible they are at this. Flair of course switches knees halfway through, thereby making him look like an idiot. Figure Four of course doesn’t work and we go back and forth for a bit which borders on entertaining. And there’s Flair’s ass to ruin it.

    Ric gets a sleeper. I guess due to his age he needs a nap during matches now. Now Lethal goes for the knees. He gets the weakest chop block ever and puts on the Figure Four. Yep, Flair taps. Jay Lethal has just put a 61 year old man in a leg submission and made him give up. He cries of course because we have to make Flair look good in the end. I hate this company. I truly don’t.

    Hardy says he’ll win.

    Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

    Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

    Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

    I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

    There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

    We recap Angle’s hunt through TNA’s top ten, which more or less is he beats up everyone to get to the top guy. Pope just happens to be the next guy. There’s no real heat between them. Pope just has the right number.

    Kurt Angle vs. D’Angelo Dinero

    Angle is listed as #10, yet he’s beaten two guys and Pope is 8th. I love the TNA thinking. We start on the ground. I’m watching this out of order since I got home late so this is the first match I watched. They’re doing the red, white and blue ropes which is cool looking. They booked themselves into a corner here as Angle can’t really lose but Pope is returning and hasn’t won a big match in months. Angle hits a buckle bomb which is always great looking.

    This is a solid match to start but they’re not going to have a ton of time unless this goes up until eleven. Kurt is winning but not dominating which is a good thing. Pope steals the Rolling Germans which doesn’t work. Only a handful of people can suplex Angle and he isn’t one of them. Angle’s all like bitch I’ll show you Rolling Germans. Pope hits a Codebreaker and the fans are all behind Angle.

    Angle Slam hits from nowhere for two. Why are announcers still surprised by that? I don’t get it. Ankle Lock goes on but Pope gets a rollup for two. Ankle Lock again on the mat and it’s over. This needed a bit more time but was entertaining.

    RVD isn’t worried about Abyss and says he’ll stick the nail board up Abyss’ ass.

    No recap here. Good as it’s not needed.

    TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

    Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

    We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

    Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for the asshole. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

    Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

    Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

    Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Cobra Clutch
    Brother Ray b. Brother D-Von and Jesse Neal – Bubba Bomb on Neal
    Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne via disqualification due to outside interference
    AJ Styles/Kazarian b. Rob Terry/Samoa Joe – 450 Splash on Terry
    Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Exited cage
    Jay Lethal b. Ric Flair – Figure Four
    Motor City Machine Guns b. Beer Money – Neckbreaker/Splash combination
    Kurt Angle b. D’Angelo Dinero – Ankle Lock
    Rob Van Dam b. Abyss, Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy – Five Star Frog Splash on Anderson

    Quick Results

    Ted DiBiase b. John Morrison – Dream Street
    Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Great Khali/William Regal – Uranage to Regal
    Randy Orton/Evan Bourne b. Chris Jericho/Edge – Air Bourne to Jericho
    Alicia Fox b. Eve Torres – Axe Kick

    Michael McGillicutty b. Percy Watson – Sunset Flip
    The Miz b. Kaval – Skull Crushing Finale
    Cody Rhodes/Husky Harris b. Lucky Cannon/Mark Henry – Cross Roads to Cannon

    Kazarian vs. AJ Styles went to a double countout
    Angelina Love b. Daffney – Lights Out
    Rob Van Dam b. Samoa Joe – Backflip out of choke into pin
    Jeremy Buck b. Douglas Williams – Reached the X first
    Matt Morgan/Beer Money b. Motor City Machine Guns/Hernandez – Rolled through cross body
    Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson – Swanton Bomb

    Dolph Ziggler b. MVP and Chavo Guerrero – Sleeper on MVP
    Curt Hawkins/Vance Archer b. Matt Hardy/Christian – Top rope elbow on Hardy
    Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Future Shock DDT
    Cody Rhodes b. JTG – Cross Roads
    Jack Swagger vs. Big Show went to a Double Countout

    Victory Road
    Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Cobra Clutch
    Brother Ray b. Brother D-Von and Jesse Neal – Bubba Bomb on Neal
    Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne via disqualification due to outside interference
    AJ Styles/Kazarian b. Rob Terry/Samoa Joe – 450 Splash on Terry
    Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Exited cage
    Jay Lethal b. Ric Flair – Figure Four
    Motor City Machine Guns b. Beer Money – Neckbreaker/Splash combination
    Kurt Angle b. D’Angelo Dinero – Ankle Lock
    Rob Van Dam b. Abyss, Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy – Five Star Frog Splash on Anderson

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