klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2013
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We're getting closer to the Elimination Chamber which has nothing to do with Raw but it's WWE in general so there you go. As for tonight the main story is what happened at the end of last week's show with Lesnar and Vince. Vince needs real hip surgery so that was the story they came up with to get McMahon off TV. We're also going to get some more between Rock and Punk. Let's get to it.
After a LONG recap of the main stuff from last week, here's Punk to open the show. He makes the announcer call him the REAL People's Champion. Punk talks about how he's had a week to reflect on having his championship stolen from him and yeah it affects him. He doesn't think anyone here in the arena has ever accomplished anything in his life.
Punk goes on a rant about how he wasn't in the video and there's no proof he had anything to do with Shield or Maddox. Why would you believe Vince? Knowing Vince, he might have hired an actor that sounds like Heyman. Punk talks about how Vince had hip surgery today and that's karma. Vince probably set this up because he doesn't want Punk to be champion. In two weeks he will get back the physical belt back because this is day number four hundred and.....here's Booker T?
Booker stumbles over his lines and says that since Vickie is in charge tonight, the people are going to pick who he faces. It's going to be one of Punk's previous Wrestlemania opponents: Mysterio, Orton or Jericho. Just download the WWE App and vote!
Here's how to vote on the App because if you have a smart phone, clearly you have no idea how to download an app!
Orton, on the App, pitches why he should face Punk.
Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro
I knew it would be Cesaro before the music hit through common sense and process of elimination. That doesn't speak well for WWE. They shove each other around to start and Cesaro gets slammed around a few times. Ryback puts him in the Tree of Woe and hits some “feed me more” stomps. Back in and Cesaro pounds away as well, only to be caught by the Thesz Press. Antonio hits a clothesline to the back of Ryback's head to take him down and we go to a break.
Back with Ryback being slammed into the steps for a close count. This would be after the exclusive footage from the WWE App, which isn't exclusive if they're showing it elsewhere, as well as being overkill of the whole thing at all. The Meat Hook puts Cesaro on the floor and the match continues. After a European Uppercut hits in the ring, it's another Meat Hook and the Shell Shock for the pin at 9:50.
MORE WWE APP STUFF!!! DID WE MENTION THIS ALREADY???
We look at the Shield taking out Sheamus, Ryback and Cena last week.
Mysterio talks on the App.
We get a long video on the history of the Shield.
Cena is watching the video and has his serious face on. Apparently he's going to call out Shield on his own tonight so Vickie makes fun of him a bit.
Trish Stratus Hall of Fame video.
Jericho completes the trio of shilling for the App.
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger
Booker is on commentary for no apparent reason. Swagger's hair is a bit more down than it was on Smackdown. He shoves Santino around to start as Booker talks about how Swagger is ratings. The Vader Bomb hits and it's the ankle lock for the tap at 1:27. Apparently it's called the Patriot Act now.
Swagger yells at Booker post match.
You can now vote on the WWE APP!!!
Apparently since so many people are on the WWE App, you can now vote on WWE.com. Yep, after ALL THAT TALKING, you can just vote without the App. Egads this company gets annoying at times.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes
Del Rio gets slapped in the face and here comes the champion. The enziguri in the corner isn't an enziguri as it hits the shoulder, but Cody pounds away anyway. He goes after the leg but Alberto makes the quick comeback with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a low superkick for two. Cody comes back with the Disaster Kick for the same but he walks into the cross armbreaker at 2:45. Well at least he lasted longer than he did against Cena last week.
Del Rio talks about how he's a changed man and how much he respects the people that work every day to put food on the table. Big Show pops up on screen and talks about how he's better than Del Rio. He's at a hotel because if he was there, he would kill Alberto. Apparently Show ran from the parking lot because he wants this in a real match, not in a parking lot. The rematch is made for the PPV, you know the drill.
Jericho gets to face Punk.
Bryan and Kane argue over getting into the Chamber. Isn't Bryan already in?
Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan
Apparently Orton and Mysterio are already in the Chamber but Bryan has to make it in. Didn't they already say who was in the Chamber on Smackdown on Friday? Bryan takes him to the mat to start but Mysterio comes back with some knees to the face. A modified gutbuster puts Rey down for two and Mysterio heads to the apron. Rey goes up but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some NO Kicks. Bryan goes shoulder first into the post and we take a break.
Back with Mysterio firing off some forearms but getting suplexed down so Daniel can stomp on the arm a bit. He throws Mysterio out to the floor and hits a baseball slide to keep Rey on the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Rey gets a forearm up. The top rope seated senton starts to pick things up and Rey hits a rana into the kick to the head for two. The 619 is countered into a No Lock attempt but Rey rolls him up for two. Mysterio hits a rana into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. NO Lock finishes at 8:35.
MARK HENRY returns to power walk towards Bryan. Daniel goes at him and is immediately sent into the barricade. Henry takes out Rey and the running in Cara as well.
Bryan yells at Kane for not helping him. Kane: “You told me to stay back here.” Bryan: “SINCE WHEN DO YOU LISTEN TO ME???” Kane teases Bryan about hurting his feelings but he's only playing.
We recap (I've said that a lot tonight) Vince and Heyman from last week followed by Lesnar attacking Vince and breaking his hip.
Big Show is on the phone with Booker when there's a knock at the door. It's room service but Big Show doesn't tip. And that's that apparently.
Sheamus vs. Kane
This should be good. Bryan is officially in the Chamber due to his win earlier. I don't think either of these guys have qualified yet though. Kane powers Sheamus into the corner to start, Sheamus powers him right back, Kane gets caught in the Irish Curse, we've killed 90 seconds. A clothesline sends Kane to the floor but he breaks up the ten forearms to the chest. The Brogue Kick, chokeslam, White Noise and the tombstone are all countered so Kane hits his running DDT for no cover. Cue Bryan to yell at Kane, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick the big man for the pin at 3:48.
Here's MizTV with Paul Heyman as guest. After looking at what happened last week, Paul offers Vince his best wishes. Miz doesn't buy it but Heyman guarantees that he wasn't behind Brock last week. He was even begging Brock to not do it. Miz still doesn't buy it so Heyman goes on a rant about everything he can think of not related to last week. Paul gets in Miz's face but here's Vickie to interrupt.
She says that Heyman is telling the truth because it was her that brought Brock back. Vickie recognized him as an elite free agent so she rehired him to impress Vince. She offers her condolences so Heyman wants a moment of silence. Vickie says we should pray but Miz says really. Miz talks about how Vickie is always wanting more power and Heyman hates Vince for crushing ECW. Vickie yells but Miz says Vince will fire Heyman and Vickie as soon as he's back. Cue Lesnar who destroys the MizTV set and hits the F5 on Miz onto the couch.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Are these two contractually obligated to fight every other week or something? It's a brawl to start with Orton heading to the floor quickly. Barrett rams him into a few things before heading back inside for a quick chinlock. Orton fights up with a clothesline and the Elevated DDT but Wade rolls to the outside. That lasts a few seconds but Orton charges back into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland and the RKO are both countered but Barrett misses a big boot in the corner and it's the RKO for the pin at 4:51.
Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
The fans are completely split between the two guys. They chop it out to start and Punk takes him down with some knees. We hit the armbar by Punk who yells at the referee to ASK HIM. Nice touch. Jericho fights up and escapes a tornado DDT to send Punk to the floor. A baseball slide puts Punk down but he blocks the springboard dropkick as we take a break.
Back with Punk slamming Jericho down and dropping a leg to the back of Jericho's head. Off to the cravate but Punk misses a splash to give Jericho control. The Lionsault hits knees but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt almost immediately. Punk goes for the knee in the corner but Jericho avoids the shot and hits a top rope rana for a delayed two. The GTS is countered but Jericho can't hook the Walls. They fight over a small package but Punk hooks a spinning neckbreaker for two. The running knee in the face hits this time but the Macho Elbow misses.
The Lionsault gets two as does Punk's High Kick. This is starting to get awesome. There's the Anaconda Vice but Jericho FINALLY makes the rope. Jericho goes up but gets crotched, only to get caught in the GTS. Chris counters AGAIN and this time he hooks the Walls. Punk barely makes the rope but he can't hook the GTS because of his back. The Walls are countered by sending Jericho into the buckle. Punk sends him into the post and the GTS finally ends Jericho at 15:03.
In a huge surprise, Bruno Sammartino is officially announced for the WWE Hall of Fame. This is a BIG pick up because Bruno has spent years saying he wouldn't do anything with WWE at all. George Steele talks about how awesome Bruno was which is freaking weird to hear.
Punk says he's here and Rock isn't.
Video on the media hyping up Rock's title win. You know Vince is loving this.
Cena says he's serious tonight and is pushing back against the Shield.
Show is eating dinner and is on the phone saying he can't wait anymore. Someone knocks on the door and it's a messenger. He hands Show the EC contract when the messenger has something to tell him. Show tells him to be quiet and signs the contract. Big Show opens the door where Del Rio is waiting. They fight in the hallway with Show beating the champion down but Del Rio comes back with a fire extinguisher. He blasts Show in the head with it and knocks Show out cold before explaining to some people in an elevator that it was bad Mexican food.
Here's Brad Maddox who says that he's innocent and was wronged by Heyman last week. He gave Vince the footage last week so he's the hero of the story. Maddox calls out Shield who actually talk on their way down. They say Maddox (who apparently took money from Heyman too) doesn't understand justice, because justice is them giving Maddox the beating he deserves. Maddox actually tries to fight and is immediately beaten down.
This goes on for awhile and here's Cena. Through the crowd that is and here's Ryback through the same crowd. Sheamus joins in too and the Shield runs....right into the rest of the roster they've beaten up before. Shield is trapped in the ring and the brawl is on, only to be chased off to end the show.
Results
Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Patriot Act
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Rey Mysterio – NO Lock
Sheamus b. Kane – Brogue Kick
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 2.0, down slightly from last week.
Raw got a 3.6, down slightly from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 6, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
We're on I think the semi-finals of the tag title tournament this week as well as Conor vs. Langston if I remember correctly. Other than that there isn't much going on here, as most of the show is based around the tag titles at this point. The show has been pretty awesome lately though so I can't say I'm complaining. Let's get to it.
I was right about the semi-finals being tonight. Both matches go down on this show.
Welcome Home.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger vs. Olivery Grey/Adrian Neville
The winner of this gets the winner of the Wyatt Family vs. McGillicutty/Dallas. Grey vs. Kassius get things going and nothing happens there so here's Kruger instead. Grey takes him down to the mat via a headlock as we're in a very slow stage still. Kruger fights up and is immediately taken down again via the headlock. The British guys hit a double elbow on Kruger for two and Neville hooks a chinlock.
Off to Kassius and Adrian fires off some kicks to the legs to slow him down immediately. Back to Grey for some arm work and Adrian does the same. Grey hooks an armbar and Ohno is in trouble again. Kruger gets the tag and pounds away on Oliver as we take a break. Back with Ohno holding Grey in a chinlock and a backbreaker from Kruger for two. We go old school with an abdominal stretch from both heels and then a second from both guys.
Ohno stays in and works over the ribs with a backsplash for two. There's a reverse chinlock by Kassius but Oliver fights out of it and decks both heels with forearms. Kruger breaks up the tag attempt though and pounds Grey down for two. Off to a cravate which continues to be very popular in WWE anymore. Grey comes back with a few rollups for two and there's the hot tag to Adrian.
Things speed up and Neville starts flipping around a lot. Kassius kicks Adrian's head off to send him to the outside but stops to yell at Regal. Adrian hits a flip dive to the floor to take Ohno's head off and it's the corkscrew shooting star press to send the British guys to the finals at 14:02 shown of 17:32.
Summer Rae complains about being pretty and never getting praised while Paige is ugly and is treated huge. Apparently Summer School is always in session.
Conor O'Brien vs. Mike Dalton
Dalton fires off kicks to start but Conor easily powers him down. A one man flapjack puts Dalton down and a legdrop ends this in 1:06.
O'Brien demands a five count which brings out Langston for a Big Ending on Dalton.
Paige says she'll take care of Summer herself despite Dusty's wishes otherwise. Sasha Banks comes in and talks about her secret admirer.
Video on the NXT Tournament for a spot in the Rumble. Here are the brackets (I think):
Corey Graves
Adrian Neville
Leo Kruger
Xavier Woods
Bo Dallas
Luke Harper
Oliver Grey
Conor O'Brien
The semis were Kruger over Neville and Dallas over O'Brien with Dallas beating Kruger to win the tournament and the spot in the Rumble.
Bray Wyatt comes in to see Bo Dallas and says his fifteen minutes of fame are up. Dallas says time might be up on the Wyatt Family. It's so hard to believe that these two are brothers.
NXT Tag Team Title Tourmanet Semi-Finals: Michael McGillicutty/Bo Dallas vs. Wyatt Family
It's Rowan/Harper here again. Harper and McGillicutty start things off and Michael fighting off the big man as well as possible. Dallas comes in and gets taken down by pure Wyatt power. We take a break and come back with the monsters continuing to work over Dallas in the corner. Dallas manages to slip away to Michaels for the hot tag and things speed up again. He throws Rowan around with suplexes but Bray Wyatt distracts him. That earns the leader an ejection but the referee misses McGillicutty rolling up Rowan. Harper kicks him in the face for the pin and the spot in the finals at 4:08 shown of 7:38.
Bray offers Dallas a spot in the Family but when Bo declines, Bray beats him down. He says this is only the beginning to end the show. The look on Wyatt's face was great.
Results
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Ohno
Conor O'Brien b. Mike Dalton – Legdrop
Wyatt Family b. Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty – Big boot to McGillicutty
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8's, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we're on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we've got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8's in a tables match tonight. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8's.
Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can't say I'm any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8's beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I'm stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn't worried about the tables match because Aces and 8's have an ace up their sleeve.
Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it's Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.
X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam
Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion....mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.
Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.
We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5'3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.
We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It's still not impressive.
Bruce Prichard talks to D'Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I'm still thinking this isn't going to live up to whatever it's supposed to be.
Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I'm going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.
James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz
Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.
Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there's the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.
A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there's a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it's back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here's Guerrero ago.
Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8's. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.
We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it's a double clothesline to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.
Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn't and he'll prove it against Aces and 8's.
Video on AJ's career falling apart.
Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher
Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow's Peak doesn't work so it's off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.
Here's Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob's come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.
Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.
We recap the bikers taking out Hardy's knee.
Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc
Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8's about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.
Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it's an Aces and 8's match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.
Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it's a superplex...not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.
The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.
Results
Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King
James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero
Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker
Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, down from last week.
Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2013
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're getting close to the Elimination Chamber now with most of the field being filled in. The main story is that Mark Henry returned on Monday and treated Mysterio and Sin Cara like villagers in a badly dubbed Japanese monster movie. Other than that we've got the continuing saga of Big Show vs. Del Rio which is continuing despite two straight wins over the giant. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover talking about the Chamber. Apparently Bryan, Orton and Mysterio are locked in already. We also look at the hotel stuff with Del Rio vs. Big Show from Raw on Monday.
Big Show's bus arrives to start but he's scared to come out. Show finally gets out and sneaks into the arena.
For the first time in months, we actually get a theme song for Smackdown.
Here's Big Show to the ring. You know if he's scared of Del Rio, isn't it a bad idea to come to a place where everyone can see him? He calls the current situation unacceptable and doesn't care that the fans are booing him. Show talks about Del Rio acting like a criminal and getting cheered by the fans anyway. Apparently you can do whatever you want when you're popular. Show talks about signing a contract for a title match so at the PPV, he's getting the title back Del Rio is suspended tonight, so I'm SURE we won't see him until Monday.
Show yells about Booker T causing the double standards around here, claiming that Booker is jealous of Show's money and success and status as an active wrestler. This brings out the GM who talks about how Big Show has gotten everything he wanted but Big Show keeps bullying Ricardo. Big Show demands to know if Booker gave Alberto his hotel information but Booker sidesteps the question. It's Show vs. Kane tonight.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody says that he and Sandow have split but another door has opened for him. Rhodes grabs the arm to start but Kofi sends him to the floor. Back in and the mustached one hits a middle rope elbow to Kingston's back. The second attempt doesn't work as well though and Kofi speeds things up a bit. The Boom Drop hits at an awkward angle but Trouble in Paradise misses. Kofi immediately comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Both finishers are avoiided but Cody hits the Disaster Kick to lay out Kingston. Cross Rhodes finishes this at 3:31.
We recap the troubles HELL NO has been having lately.
Bryan comes in to see Kane and says he forgives them. Kane doesn't even have to apologize. Bryan offers to be in Kane's corner tonight against Big Show so that they can mess with Show's mind. Also it will help Kane's image to be seen with someone already in the Elimination Chamber. Kane shushes Bryan with threats of annihilation.
We get a video of Lesnar attacking Vince from last week's Raw.
We get another video from this past week's Raw of Heyman denying knowing anything about Lesnar because Vickie brought him back in.
Bruno Sammartino's HOF video.
Great Khali vs. Titus O'Neal
Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.
As soon as the bell rings, Mark Henry comes out and sends Titus into the barricade. With him out of the way, Henry goes into the ring and lays out Khali as well with the World's Strongest Slam.
Post break Henry says the Hall of Pain is now open again. We get a clip of the beatdown of Cara and Rey from Monday which Henry blames on Booker. Henry says Booker put together an elite group of people to be in the Chamber, but there was one mistake: Mark Henry was left out. He wants Booker out here now or else he'll destroy the entire Smackdown roster. Booker comes out and gives his usual response of “that's not how we do it on Smackdown.” Henry says if there isn't room in the Chamber for him, he'll make room himself. Booker says if Henry can beat Orton tonight, he can be in the Chamber too.
Big Show yells at the guy that takes care of his bus and his steaks for screwing up. Oh and the toilet is clogged up again. Big Show is heading to the ring and Del Rio is lurking behind his bus.
Big Show vs. Kane
We see the Del Rio/Show segment from Raw again during the entrances. Show immediately takes it to the floor and sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside. The guy with his face showing works on the leg as we take a break. Back with Show hitting the Vader Bomb for two but a second one misses. They slug it out and both guys load up chokeslams but it's Kane hitting the running DDT to take over. There's the top rope clothesline but Kane tweaks his knee, allowing for the WMD to end Kane at 3:35 shown of 7:05.
Post match Del Rio pops up on screen with the employee Show yelled at. He tells Big Show to come back and see the changes Del Rio has made. Show comes back and sees the bus up on blocks with the tires taken off. Del Rio covers Show in orange paint for good measure.
Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
Swagger is apparently the REAL AMERICAN now. Gabriel is sent to the apron to start and Jack takes his head off with a clothesline back inside. There's a big beal across the ring and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. Justin blocks a charge with two feet in the face and a springboard cross body gets no cover. Jack heads to the floor but manages to break up the Asai moonsault. Back inside and it's chop block, gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act (ankle lock) for the tap out at 2:37. Just a squash.
Fandango is still coming. Oh joy.
Drew McIntyre vs. Tensai
They're turning the bald guy face aren't they. We get a clip from Raw Roulette of Tensai in lingerie breaking into a dance off with Brodus. Drew hits a big boot for two but Tensai comes back with a splash in the corner. There's the Baldo Bomb but Slater and Mahal run in at 1:09.
Brodus runs out for the save and the band is cleared out. The big men and the Funkadactyls dance a bit. Yep they're turning him and I can't say I'm arguing with it. It's not like he was doing ANYTHING as a heel anymore.
Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro
The stupid mood lighting is back and this is non-title. Cara speeds things up to start but Cesaro avoids a charge in the corner. The power stuff begins and Cara is in trouble early. JBL questions if Cara is actually a Mexican or not. Josh talks about how if Cara was from Bermuda, he would be the most followed man in the country. Good to know. Anyway Cara comes out of the corner with a running sunset flip for two. The champion heads to the floor and Cara hits a suicide dive to take him out. That's the extent of his offense though as back inside it's the European uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:20.
Orton says Henry has to earn his spot in the Chamber by going through him.
Miz says he's never been against anything like Lesnar but Cesaro comes in to complain about Miz's whining. Geez this thing is still going? They brawl and Cesaro gets the better of it until referees break it up.
The Raw ReBound is Shield being chased off.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
If Henry wins, he's in the Chamber. I don't think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry's shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.
That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy's chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it's easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World's Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes
Great Khali b. Titus O'Neal – Chop to the head
Big Show b. Kane – WMD
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act
Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered
Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World's Strongest Slam
Saturday
Punk might have been hurt by a botched suplex at a house show.
Sunday
No he wasn't.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Patriot Act
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Rey Mysterio – NO Lock
Sheamus b. Kane – Brogue Kick
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
NXT
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Ohno
Conor O'Brien b. Mike Dalton – Legdrop
Wyatt Family b. Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty – Big boot to McGillicutty
Impact Wrestling
Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King
James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero
Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker
Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes
Great Khali b. Titus O'Neal – Chop to the head
Big Show b. Kane – WMD
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act
Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered
Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World's Strongest Slam
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2013
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We're getting closer to the Elimination Chamber which has nothing to do with Raw but it's WWE in general so there you go. As for tonight the main story is what happened at the end of last week's show with Lesnar and Vince. Vince needs real hip surgery so that was the story they came up with to get McMahon off TV. We're also going to get some more between Rock and Punk. Let's get to it.
After a LONG recap of the main stuff from last week, here's Punk to open the show. He makes the announcer call him the REAL People's Champion. Punk talks about how he's had a week to reflect on having his championship stolen from him and yeah it affects him. He doesn't think anyone here in the arena has ever accomplished anything in his life.
Punk goes on a rant about how he wasn't in the video and there's no proof he had anything to do with Shield or Maddox. Why would you believe Vince? Knowing Vince, he might have hired an actor that sounds like Heyman. Punk talks about how Vince had hip surgery today and that's karma. Vince probably set this up because he doesn't want Punk to be champion. In two weeks he will get back the physical belt back because this is day number four hundred and.....here's Booker T?
Booker stumbles over his lines and says that since Vickie is in charge tonight, the people are going to pick who he faces. It's going to be one of Punk's previous Wrestlemania opponents: Mysterio, Orton or Jericho. Just download the WWE App and vote!
Here's how to vote on the App because if you have a smart phone, clearly you have no idea how to download an app!
Orton, on the App, pitches why he should face Punk.
Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro
I knew it would be Cesaro before the music hit through common sense and process of elimination. That doesn't speak well for WWE. They shove each other around to start and Cesaro gets slammed around a few times. Ryback puts him in the Tree of Woe and hits some “feed me more” stomps. Back in and Cesaro pounds away as well, only to be caught by the Thesz Press. Antonio hits a clothesline to the back of Ryback's head to take him down and we go to a break.
Back with Ryback being slammed into the steps for a close count. This would be after the exclusive footage from the WWE App, which isn't exclusive if they're showing it elsewhere, as well as being overkill of the whole thing at all. The Meat Hook puts Cesaro on the floor and the match continues. After a European Uppercut hits in the ring, it's another Meat Hook and the Shell Shock for the pin at 9:50.
MORE WWE APP STUFF!!! DID WE MENTION THIS ALREADY???
We look at the Shield taking out Sheamus, Ryback and Cena last week.
Mysterio talks on the App.
We get a long video on the history of the Shield.
Cena is watching the video and has his serious face on. Apparently he's going to call out Shield on his own tonight so Vickie makes fun of him a bit.
Trish Stratus Hall of Fame video.
Jericho completes the trio of shilling for the App.
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger
Booker is on commentary for no apparent reason. Swagger's hair is a bit more down than it was on Smackdown. He shoves Santino around to start as Booker talks about how Swagger is ratings. The Vader Bomb hits and it's the ankle lock for the tap at 1:27. Apparently it's called the Patriot Act now.
Swagger yells at Booker post match.
You can now vote on the WWE APP!!!
Apparently since so many people are on the WWE App, you can now vote on WWE.com. Yep, after ALL THAT TALKING, you can just vote without the App. Egads this company gets annoying at times.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes
Del Rio gets slapped in the face and here comes the champion. The enziguri in the corner isn't an enziguri as it hits the shoulder, but Cody pounds away anyway. He goes after the leg but Alberto makes the quick comeback with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a low superkick for two. Cody comes back with the Disaster Kick for the same but he walks into the cross armbreaker at 2:45. Well at least he lasted longer than he did against Cena last week.
Del Rio talks about how he's a changed man and how much he respects the people that work every day to put food on the table. Big Show pops up on screen and talks about how he's better than Del Rio. He's at a hotel because if he was there, he would kill Alberto. Apparently Show ran from the parking lot because he wants this in a real match, not in a parking lot. The rematch is made for the PPV, you know the drill.
Jericho gets to face Punk.
Bryan and Kane argue over getting into the Chamber. Isn't Bryan already in?
Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan
Apparently Orton and Mysterio are already in the Chamber but Bryan has to make it in. Didn't they already say who was in the Chamber on Smackdown on Friday? Bryan takes him to the mat to start but Mysterio comes back with some knees to the face. A modified gutbuster puts Rey down for two and Mysterio heads to the apron. Rey goes up but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some NO Kicks. Bryan goes shoulder first into the post and we take a break.
Back with Mysterio firing off some forearms but getting suplexed down so Daniel can stomp on the arm a bit. He throws Mysterio out to the floor and hits a baseball slide to keep Rey on the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Rey gets a forearm up. The top rope seated senton starts to pick things up and Rey hits a rana into the kick to the head for two. The 619 is countered into a No Lock attempt but Rey rolls him up for two. Mysterio hits a rana into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. NO Lock finishes at 8:35.
MARK HENRY returns to power walk towards Bryan. Daniel goes at him and is immediately sent into the barricade. Henry takes out Rey and the running in Cara as well.
Bryan yells at Kane for not helping him. Kane: “You told me to stay back here.” Bryan: “SINCE WHEN DO YOU LISTEN TO ME???” Kane teases Bryan about hurting his feelings but he's only playing.
We recap (I've said that a lot tonight) Vince and Heyman from last week followed by Lesnar attacking Vince and breaking his hip.
Big Show is on the phone with Booker when there's a knock at the door. It's room service but Big Show doesn't tip. And that's that apparently.
Sheamus vs. Kane
This should be good. Bryan is officially in the Chamber due to his win earlier. I don't think either of these guys have qualified yet though. Kane powers Sheamus into the corner to start, Sheamus powers him right back, Kane gets caught in the Irish Curse, we've killed 90 seconds. A clothesline sends Kane to the floor but he breaks up the ten forearms to the chest. The Brogue Kick, chokeslam, White Noise and the tombstone are all countered so Kane hits his running DDT for no cover. Cue Bryan to yell at Kane, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick the big man for the pin at 3:48.
Here's MizTV with Paul Heyman as guest. After looking at what happened last week, Paul offers Vince his best wishes. Miz doesn't buy it but Heyman guarantees that he wasn't behind Brock last week. He was even begging Brock to not do it. Miz still doesn't buy it so Heyman goes on a rant about everything he can think of not related to last week. Paul gets in Miz's face but here's Vickie to interrupt.
She says that Heyman is telling the truth because it was her that brought Brock back. Vickie recognized him as an elite free agent so she rehired him to impress Vince. She offers her condolences so Heyman wants a moment of silence. Vickie says we should pray but Miz says really. Miz talks about how Vickie is always wanting more power and Heyman hates Vince for crushing ECW. Vickie yells but Miz says Vince will fire Heyman and Vickie as soon as he's back. Cue Lesnar who destroys the MizTV set and hits the F5 on Miz onto the couch.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Are these two contractually obligated to fight every other week or something? It's a brawl to start with Orton heading to the floor quickly. Barrett rams him into a few things before heading back inside for a quick chinlock. Orton fights up with a clothesline and the Elevated DDT but Wade rolls to the outside. That lasts a few seconds but Orton charges back into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland and the RKO are both countered but Barrett misses a big boot in the corner and it's the RKO for the pin at 4:51.
Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
The fans are completely split between the two guys. They chop it out to start and Punk takes him down with some knees. We hit the armbar by Punk who yells at the referee to ASK HIM. Nice touch. Jericho fights up and escapes a tornado DDT to send Punk to the floor. A baseball slide puts Punk down but he blocks the springboard dropkick as we take a break.
Back with Punk slamming Jericho down and dropping a leg to the back of Jericho's head. Off to the cravate but Punk misses a splash to give Jericho control. The Lionsault hits knees but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt almost immediately. Punk goes for the knee in the corner but Jericho avoids the shot and hits a top rope rana for a delayed two. The GTS is countered but Jericho can't hook the Walls. They fight over a small package but Punk hooks a spinning neckbreaker for two. The running knee in the face hits this time but the Macho Elbow misses.
The Lionsault gets two as does Punk's High Kick. This is starting to get awesome. There's the Anaconda Vice but Jericho FINALLY makes the rope. Jericho goes up but gets crotched, only to get caught in the GTS. Chris counters AGAIN and this time he hooks the Walls. Punk barely makes the rope but he can't hook the GTS because of his back. The Walls are countered by sending Jericho into the buckle. Punk sends him into the post and the GTS finally ends Jericho at 15:03.
In a huge surprise, Bruno Sammartino is officially announced for the WWE Hall of Fame. This is a BIG pick up because Bruno has spent years saying he wouldn't do anything with WWE at all. George Steele talks about how awesome Bruno was which is freaking weird to hear.
Punk says he's here and Rock isn't.
Video on the media hyping up Rock's title win. You know Vince is loving this.
Cena says he's serious tonight and is pushing back against the Shield.
Show is eating dinner and is on the phone saying he can't wait anymore. Someone knocks on the door and it's a messenger. He hands Show the EC contract when the messenger has something to tell him. Show tells him to be quiet and signs the contract. Big Show opens the door where Del Rio is waiting. They fight in the hallway with Show beating the champion down but Del Rio comes back with a fire extinguisher. He blasts Show in the head with it and knocks Show out cold before explaining to some people in an elevator that it was bad Mexican food.
Here's Brad Maddox who says that he's innocent and was wronged by Heyman last week. He gave Vince the footage last week so he's the hero of the story. Maddox calls out Shield who actually talk on their way down. They say Maddox (who apparently took money from Heyman too) doesn't understand justice, because justice is them giving Maddox the beating he deserves. Maddox actually tries to fight and is immediately beaten down.
This goes on for awhile and here's Cena. Through the crowd that is and here's Ryback through the same crowd. Sheamus joins in too and the Shield runs....right into the rest of the roster they've beaten up before. Shield is trapped in the ring and the brawl is on, only to be chased off to end the show.
Results
Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Patriot Act
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Rey Mysterio – NO Lock
Sheamus b. Kane – Brogue Kick
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 2.0, down slightly from last week.
Raw got a 3.6, down slightly from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 6, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
We're on I think the semi-finals of the tag title tournament this week as well as Conor vs. Langston if I remember correctly. Other than that there isn't much going on here, as most of the show is based around the tag titles at this point. The show has been pretty awesome lately though so I can't say I'm complaining. Let's get to it.
I was right about the semi-finals being tonight. Both matches go down on this show.
Welcome Home.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger vs. Olivery Grey/Adrian Neville
The winner of this gets the winner of the Wyatt Family vs. McGillicutty/Dallas. Grey vs. Kassius get things going and nothing happens there so here's Kruger instead. Grey takes him down to the mat via a headlock as we're in a very slow stage still. Kruger fights up and is immediately taken down again via the headlock. The British guys hit a double elbow on Kruger for two and Neville hooks a chinlock.
Off to Kassius and Adrian fires off some kicks to the legs to slow him down immediately. Back to Grey for some arm work and Adrian does the same. Grey hooks an armbar and Ohno is in trouble again. Kruger gets the tag and pounds away on Oliver as we take a break. Back with Ohno holding Grey in a chinlock and a backbreaker from Kruger for two. We go old school with an abdominal stretch from both heels and then a second from both guys.
Ohno stays in and works over the ribs with a backsplash for two. There's a reverse chinlock by Kassius but Oliver fights out of it and decks both heels with forearms. Kruger breaks up the tag attempt though and pounds Grey down for two. Off to a cravate which continues to be very popular in WWE anymore. Grey comes back with a few rollups for two and there's the hot tag to Adrian.
Things speed up and Neville starts flipping around a lot. Kassius kicks Adrian's head off to send him to the outside but stops to yell at Regal. Adrian hits a flip dive to the floor to take Ohno's head off and it's the corkscrew shooting star press to send the British guys to the finals at 14:02 shown of 17:32.
Summer Rae complains about being pretty and never getting praised while Paige is ugly and is treated huge. Apparently Summer School is always in session.
Conor O'Brien vs. Mike Dalton
Dalton fires off kicks to start but Conor easily powers him down. A one man flapjack puts Dalton down and a legdrop ends this in 1:06.
O'Brien demands a five count which brings out Langston for a Big Ending on Dalton.
Paige says she'll take care of Summer herself despite Dusty's wishes otherwise. Sasha Banks comes in and talks about her secret admirer.
Video on the NXT Tournament for a spot in the Rumble. Here are the brackets (I think):
Corey Graves
Adrian Neville
Leo Kruger
Xavier Woods
Bo Dallas
Luke Harper
Oliver Grey
Conor O'Brien
The semis were Kruger over Neville and Dallas over O'Brien with Dallas beating Kruger to win the tournament and the spot in the Rumble.
Bray Wyatt comes in to see Bo Dallas and says his fifteen minutes of fame are up. Dallas says time might be up on the Wyatt Family. It's so hard to believe that these two are brothers.
NXT Tag Team Title Tourmanet Semi-Finals: Michael McGillicutty/Bo Dallas vs. Wyatt Family
It's Rowan/Harper here again. Harper and McGillicutty start things off and Michael fighting off the big man as well as possible. Dallas comes in and gets taken down by pure Wyatt power. We take a break and come back with the monsters continuing to work over Dallas in the corner. Dallas manages to slip away to Michaels for the hot tag and things speed up again. He throws Rowan around with suplexes but Bray Wyatt distracts him. That earns the leader an ejection but the referee misses McGillicutty rolling up Rowan. Harper kicks him in the face for the pin and the spot in the finals at 4:08 shown of 7:38.
Bray offers Dallas a spot in the Family but when Bo declines, Bray beats him down. He says this is only the beginning to end the show. The look on Wyatt's face was great.
Results
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Ohno
Conor O'Brien b. Mike Dalton – Legdrop
Wyatt Family b. Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty – Big boot to McGillicutty
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8's, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we're on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we've got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8's in a tables match tonight. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8's.
Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can't say I'm any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8's beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I'm stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn't worried about the tables match because Aces and 8's have an ace up their sleeve.
Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it's Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.
X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam
Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion....mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.
Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.
We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5'3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.
We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It's still not impressive.
Bruce Prichard talks to D'Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I'm still thinking this isn't going to live up to whatever it's supposed to be.
Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I'm going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.
James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz
Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.
Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there's the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.
A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there's a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it's back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here's Guerrero ago.
Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8's. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.
We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it's a double clothesline to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.
Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn't and he'll prove it against Aces and 8's.
Video on AJ's career falling apart.
Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher
Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow's Peak doesn't work so it's off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.
Here's Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob's come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.
Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.
We recap the bikers taking out Hardy's knee.
Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc
Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8's about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.
Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it's an Aces and 8's match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.
Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it's a superplex...not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.
The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.
Results
Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King
James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero
Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker
Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, down from last week.
Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2013
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're getting close to the Elimination Chamber now with most of the field being filled in. The main story is that Mark Henry returned on Monday and treated Mysterio and Sin Cara like villagers in a badly dubbed Japanese monster movie. Other than that we've got the continuing saga of Big Show vs. Del Rio which is continuing despite two straight wins over the giant. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover talking about the Chamber. Apparently Bryan, Orton and Mysterio are locked in already. We also look at the hotel stuff with Del Rio vs. Big Show from Raw on Monday.
Big Show's bus arrives to start but he's scared to come out. Show finally gets out and sneaks into the arena.
For the first time in months, we actually get a theme song for Smackdown.
Here's Big Show to the ring. You know if he's scared of Del Rio, isn't it a bad idea to come to a place where everyone can see him? He calls the current situation unacceptable and doesn't care that the fans are booing him. Show talks about Del Rio acting like a criminal and getting cheered by the fans anyway. Apparently you can do whatever you want when you're popular. Show talks about signing a contract for a title match so at the PPV, he's getting the title back Del Rio is suspended tonight, so I'm SURE we won't see him until Monday.
Show yells about Booker T causing the double standards around here, claiming that Booker is jealous of Show's money and success and status as an active wrestler. This brings out the GM who talks about how Big Show has gotten everything he wanted but Big Show keeps bullying Ricardo. Big Show demands to know if Booker gave Alberto his hotel information but Booker sidesteps the question. It's Show vs. Kane tonight.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody says that he and Sandow have split but another door has opened for him. Rhodes grabs the arm to start but Kofi sends him to the floor. Back in and the mustached one hits a middle rope elbow to Kingston's back. The second attempt doesn't work as well though and Kofi speeds things up a bit. The Boom Drop hits at an awkward angle but Trouble in Paradise misses. Kofi immediately comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Both finishers are avoiided but Cody hits the Disaster Kick to lay out Kingston. Cross Rhodes finishes this at 3:31.
We recap the troubles HELL NO has been having lately.
Bryan comes in to see Kane and says he forgives them. Kane doesn't even have to apologize. Bryan offers to be in Kane's corner tonight against Big Show so that they can mess with Show's mind. Also it will help Kane's image to be seen with someone already in the Elimination Chamber. Kane shushes Bryan with threats of annihilation.
We get a video of Lesnar attacking Vince from last week's Raw.
We get another video from this past week's Raw of Heyman denying knowing anything about Lesnar because Vickie brought him back in.
Bruno Sammartino's HOF video.
Great Khali vs. Titus O'Neal
Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.
As soon as the bell rings, Mark Henry comes out and sends Titus into the barricade. With him out of the way, Henry goes into the ring and lays out Khali as well with the World's Strongest Slam.
Post break Henry says the Hall of Pain is now open again. We get a clip of the beatdown of Cara and Rey from Monday which Henry blames on Booker. Henry says Booker put together an elite group of people to be in the Chamber, but there was one mistake: Mark Henry was left out. He wants Booker out here now or else he'll destroy the entire Smackdown roster. Booker comes out and gives his usual response of “that's not how we do it on Smackdown.” Henry says if there isn't room in the Chamber for him, he'll make room himself. Booker says if Henry can beat Orton tonight, he can be in the Chamber too.
Big Show yells at the guy that takes care of his bus and his steaks for screwing up. Oh and the toilet is clogged up again. Big Show is heading to the ring and Del Rio is lurking behind his bus.
Big Show vs. Kane
We see the Del Rio/Show segment from Raw again during the entrances. Show immediately takes it to the floor and sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside. The guy with his face showing works on the leg as we take a break. Back with Show hitting the Vader Bomb for two but a second one misses. They slug it out and both guys load up chokeslams but it's Kane hitting the running DDT to take over. There's the top rope clothesline but Kane tweaks his knee, allowing for the WMD to end Kane at 3:35 shown of 7:05.
Post match Del Rio pops up on screen with the employee Show yelled at. He tells Big Show to come back and see the changes Del Rio has made. Show comes back and sees the bus up on blocks with the tires taken off. Del Rio covers Show in orange paint for good measure.
Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
Swagger is apparently the REAL AMERICAN now. Gabriel is sent to the apron to start and Jack takes his head off with a clothesline back inside. There's a big beal across the ring and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. Justin blocks a charge with two feet in the face and a springboard cross body gets no cover. Jack heads to the floor but manages to break up the Asai moonsault. Back inside and it's chop block, gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act (ankle lock) for the tap out at 2:37. Just a squash.
Fandango is still coming. Oh joy.
Drew McIntyre vs. Tensai
They're turning the bald guy face aren't they. We get a clip from Raw Roulette of Tensai in lingerie breaking into a dance off with Brodus. Drew hits a big boot for two but Tensai comes back with a splash in the corner. There's the Baldo Bomb but Slater and Mahal run in at 1:09.
Brodus runs out for the save and the band is cleared out. The big men and the Funkadactyls dance a bit. Yep they're turning him and I can't say I'm arguing with it. It's not like he was doing ANYTHING as a heel anymore.
Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro
The stupid mood lighting is back and this is non-title. Cara speeds things up to start but Cesaro avoids a charge in the corner. The power stuff begins and Cara is in trouble early. JBL questions if Cara is actually a Mexican or not. Josh talks about how if Cara was from Bermuda, he would be the most followed man in the country. Good to know. Anyway Cara comes out of the corner with a running sunset flip for two. The champion heads to the floor and Cara hits a suicide dive to take him out. That's the extent of his offense though as back inside it's the European uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:20.
Orton says Henry has to earn his spot in the Chamber by going through him.
Miz says he's never been against anything like Lesnar but Cesaro comes in to complain about Miz's whining. Geez this thing is still going? They brawl and Cesaro gets the better of it until referees break it up.
The Raw ReBound is Shield being chased off.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
If Henry wins, he's in the Chamber. I don't think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry's shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.
That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy's chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it's easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World's Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes
Great Khali b. Titus O'Neal – Chop to the head
Big Show b. Kane – WMD
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act
Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered
Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World's Strongest Slam
Saturday
Punk might have been hurt by a botched suplex at a house show.
Sunday
No he wasn't.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Patriot Act
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Rey Mysterio – NO Lock
Sheamus b. Kane – Brogue Kick
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
NXT
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Ohno
Conor O'Brien b. Mike Dalton – Legdrop
Wyatt Family b. Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty – Big boot to McGillicutty
Impact Wrestling
Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King
James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero
Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker
Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes
Great Khali b. Titus O'Neal – Chop to the head
Big Show b. Kane – WMD
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act
Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered
Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World's Strongest Slam