Week of 7/29/2013 - 8/4/2013

klunderbunker

Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday

Smackdown got a 1.9, up from last week.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 29, 2013
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a rare taped episode of the show as the main guys are off in Australia at the moment for an international tour. We're only a few weeks away from Summerslam and the main event matches are set, so most of the next few weeks will be about firming things up for the big show. We also have Cena vs. Ryback in a tables match and Bryan vs. Kane in a double main event. Let's get to it.

We open with a recap of Bryan running the gauntlet last week and Cena saving him from Ryback to close the show.

Here are Vince and Maddox to open the show. Brad apologizes for allowing Cena to pick his Summerslam opponent. Vince talks about Brad calling Bryan a psychologically disturbed troll who doesn't have the aura of being a WWE Champion. Before Maddox can say how he REALLY feels about Bryan, here's Goat face himself. Daniel says the words might have come out of Maddox's mouth but they were dictated by Vince. McMahon says Bryan interrupted him and that's disrespectful.

Bryan says that he's worked hard for Vince over the years and hasn't gotten a bit of respect in return. The fans keep chanting and Vince can't get them to shut up. McMahon asks if Bryan respects Cena and Bryan says he does, but Vince thinks Cena is lying. Vince calls Cena a master manipulator and says Bryan is falling for the whole thing. Bryan is lacking the ruthless aggression to launch him to the top, but Cena doesn't have it anymore either.

Vince says Cena walks around like he owns the place and Vince can't stand it. He doesn't want Cena to win at Summerslam either, but rather that both spontaneously combust, making Vince the winner at Summerslam. Bryan says it doesn't matter what Vince thinks but rather what the people think. The people want a new champion named Daniel Bryan and a HUGE YES chant strikes up as Bryan leaves.

Mark Henry/Usos vs. Shield

Ambrose starts with Henry but Dean is easily thrown around. Rolins gets the same treatment so here's Reigns to try his luck. Mark offers a test of strength but kicks Roman in the ribs to take over instead. Henry takes him into the corner and it's off to Jey for some speed. Reigns easily takes him down and it's time to start the Shield attack in the corner. Jey escapes and makes the hot tag to Jimmy who cleans a few rooms of the house before tagging in Henry.

A running elbow misses Ambrose and Dean goes crazy on the big man. Henry easily blocks a double suplex and sends Shield to the floor for a double suicide dive by the brothers. Back from a break with Roman holding Jey in an armbar. Ambrose comes in to work on Jey as well but a jawbreaker gets Jey out of trouble. Dean misses a charge into the post but Rollins breaks up the hot tag.

As usual the hot tag comes a few seconds later with Henry cleaning house. Ambrose gets tossed around but Reigns spears Mark down to stop him cold. Jimmy tags himself in and gets two off a high cross body to Dean. A Samoan drop looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Ambrose gets the knees up. Bulldog driver to Jimmy is good for the pin at 12:22.

Henry clears the ring post match.

We get a clip of Ryback bullying a backstage guy at catering. He keeps talking trash and throws the guy through a table. THIS is how you get him over as a heel.

Video on the Wyatts.

Kane wants the Wyatts but Maddox says they're not here yet. If Kane wants to send a message to them, go beat Daniel Bryan.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

Feeling out process to start until Van Dam kicks Fandango out to the floor. A moonsault from the apron takes the dancer our and the fans LOVE them some Van Dam. Fandango snaps the neck across the top rope to take over and it's off to the chinlock. A kick to Van Dam's head gets two but Rob comes back with more kicks of his own and Rolling Thunder gets two. Van Dam hits the springboard kick to the face and loads up the Five Star but Fandango bails for the countout at 4:09.

AJ freaks out about fighting Kaitlyn again because Langston doesn't help her. She accuses Big E. of liking him and Langston feels uncomfortable but AJ laughs and skips off.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. AJ takes over to start and has that insane look on her face the entire time. Katilyn throws her off and loads up the spear but a running knee to the head puts her back down. An armbar doesn't get AJ anywhere as Kaitlyn comes back with a backbreaker. AJ comes back with another armbar as we hear about Tweets from Vickie. Kaitlyn fights up and hits the spear out of nowhere for the pin at 4:51.

Post match AJ freaks out and here's Ziggler to stir the pot. He suggests AJ sleep with Langston later because Ziggler wants Big E. RIGHT NOW.

Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler

I would have thought this was a Summerslam match. Langston runs Ziggler over to start and talks a lot of trash. He throws Dolph around even more and throws on a bearhug to work on the ribs a bit as a good power man would. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Ziggler's back as the fans aren't all that interested so far. Langston talks even more trash about how it's his time (isn't that infringing on Cena's gimmick?) before missing a charge into the post. Ziggler dropkicks him to the floor but AJ runs in for the DQ at 5:29.

Langston takes a Zig Zag post match.

Bryan comes in to see Cena and asks if what Vince said is true. Cena says Vince is trying to sell tickets and wants to know if Bryan is calling him a liar. Bryan says nothing and Cena leaves.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Del Rio takes Christian to the mat with a headlock before they both what looked to be a jumping clothesline from Christian. Del Rio stomps him down in the corner and hits a snap suplex for two. Christian sends him into the middle rope and hits the uppercut, only to charge into a superkick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into the corner but gets backdropped to the floor. Christian charges at Del Rio but hits the steps, allowing Del Rio to hit a running dropkick to send the arm into the steps.

Back with Del Rio stomping on the arm and jumping from the second rope for another shot. Christian is put in the Tree of Woe but manages to fight out of the reverse superplex. A middle rope missile dropkick puts the champion down but Christian misses a charge and sends the bad arm into the post again. Del Rio pounds away for another two count and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same. Alberto misses a middle rope backsplash but runs away from a spear. Back in and the low superkick gets two but the armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin for Christian at 13:46.

We recap Bryan's gauntlet match last week.

Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett

Before the match we get a recap of Cody stealing Sandow's briefcase and throwing it in the Gulf of Mexico. Cody attacks to start but gets sent to the floor. Barrett rams him into the barricade and gets two off a backbreaker. Wade sends Cody chest first into the corner and hits a slingshot backbreaker for two more. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cody starts his comeback. He mostly misses the moonsault press but hits a running knee to the jaw for two. The Disaster Kick misses but Barrett's pumphandle is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 4:26.

Post match here's Sandow to talk about how he was the intellect of the Rhodes Scholars. “I saves the unwashed masses and you grew a mustache.” Sandow says he's from a family of scholars and Cody is from a family of clowns and he doesn't associate with carny folk.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

Kane kicks him down to start but gets caught in a half crab to stop the momentum. The big man easily kicks him off and kicks a charging Bryan's head off. A suplex gets two for Kane and it's off to a neck crank. The low dropkick gets two more as the fans try to wake up a bit. Back to the crank but Bryan fights up with strikes. The running clothesline can't drop Kane but Bryan escapes the chokeslam. He sends Kane to the floor for the knee off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Bryan escaping a chinlock and firing off some kicks in the corner. A dropkick gets two and Bryan fires off the running dropkicks in the corner. Kane comes back with the side slam for two and there's the top rope clothesline. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and fires off more kicks, only to have Kane grab another chokeslam. Bryan rolls him up into a small package for the pin, like he did to Cesaro last week, at 12:46.

Post match Kane chokeslams Bryan anyway but here come the Wyatts. Kane is surrounded by the monsters but he hits the floor to go right after Bray. The numbers catch up to him though as Wyatt looks on. Harper's discus lariat puts Kane down and here's Wyatt in the ring. Sister Abigail lays Kane out and Bray grabs the mic. He's heard that Kane calls himself the devil's favorite demon. Kane isn't a demon though and he needs to watch who he says those things in front of. Follow the buzzards.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Natalya hits a quick snap suplex for two but Brie grabs her in a chinlock. That goes nowhere and a slam puts Brie down. Brie charges into a boot in the corner and a discus lariat puts Brie down for two. Natalya loads up a Boston crab but here's Nikki with a duck call. The distraction lets Brie get the pin at 4:18.

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth

Non-title again. Before the match Heyman talks about how aweoms Axel is like only he can. Axel pounds way but Truth hits the release front suplex. The ax kick misses and Axel stays on Truth. The cutter into the neckbreaker looks to end things but here's Punk to throw the match out at about 2:45.

Post match Heyman runs away as the other guys fight.

Vince tells HHH he's using reverse psychology on Bryan because he wants someone like HHH to beat Cena. Vince makes jokes about HHH's age but Stephanie comes in to cool things down. She recommends a corporate makeover. Oh joy.

Ryback vs. John Cena

Tables match. This has been the house show main event for months. Ryback pounds on him to start but Cena clotheslines him out to the floor. The first table is pulled out but Ryback gets in a quick shot to stop Cena. He tries to ram the table into Cena against the post but John moves out of the way. We take a really abrupt break and come back with Ryback in control. Cena escapes the powerbomb on the floor but Ryback rams him into the post to keep momentum.

Ryback sets up the steps and bridges a table between them and the ring. Cena gets in a shot and tries to put Ryback through the table but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs a quick STF but Ryback pulls himself into the ropes, literally forcing a break. Cena throws a table out to the floor but Ryback hides under the ring. He pops out the other side and spears Cena down before setting up an identicle table to steps bridge. One of them is shoved over but Cena can't get the AA.

Instead Ryback pounds Cena down and tries a gorilla press but Cena slides to the other side of the table. Ryback crushes the table with the steps so Cena picks up a set of his own. They throw the steps at each other and amazingly enough they bounce off each other. Back inside and the ProtoBomb onto the steps puts Ryback down. There's the Shuffle but Ryback stops him from setting up a table with the over the shoulder Stunner. The table is set up in the corner and the Meat Hook puts Cena down. Ryback loads up another but Cena catches him in the AA through the table for the win at 16:30.

Post match here's Bryan to take the belt but Cena snatches it back, saying Bryan has to earn this. A YES chant ends the show.

Results
Shield b. Mark Henry/Usos – Bulldog Driver to Jimmy
Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via countout
Kaitly b. AJ Lee – Spear
Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston via DQ when AJ interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natayla – Rollup
John Cena b. Ryback – AA through a table

Tuesday

Raw got a 2.87, down from last week. For a taped show that's not too bad.

Wednesday

The WWE second quarter financial report came out today, showing increases across the board other than in PPV buys. However the price of Wrestlemania was up, making up for some of the difference.

NXT
Date: July 31, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

This is an odd show for NXT as there isn't anything planned coming into this episode. Last week saw Paige become the first Women's Champion in a good match and Sheamus defeating Luke Harper in a stand alone match. That doesn't leave much to build on this week but I'm sure NXT will pull something off. Let's get to it.

Welcome Home.

We open with Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy running their mouths. Colin brags about being undefeated as a team and not being soft (“S-a-w-f-t!”). Enzo says he sees NXT as a dance floor and they're going to dance all over it. Cue Tons of Funk to chase them off in an obvious cameo. Cassidy and Amore talk trash from the floor but here's Mason Ryan to chase them into the ring. Tons of Funk beat up the annoying ones and we have a referee but no bell. Ryan comes in and plants Amore with a cobra clutch slam before dancing with the fat guys to the only pop of his career.

Dusty is in the back with Emma and Paige when Summer Rae comes in to complain. She wants the title right now but Paige offers to break Summer's teeth. Emma says she beat Summer fair and that Summer's dancing sucks. Dusty calls the idea ridiculous but he likes it so the idea is on.

Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks

Sasha hooks a headlock to start but Charlotte rolls away. A dropkick puts Charlotte down for two and it's off to an armbar. Charlotte fights up and backflips out of the corner before wrapping up Sasha's legs for a sweet rollup, getting two. A chop (of course) staggers Banks but she easily takes Charlotte down and puts on a camel clutch. Back up and a running knee in the corner has Charlotte in trouble but she comes back with a clothesline. That front flip into a facejam/cutter (like Cena's Throwback) is good for the pin at 3:19.

Tyler Breeze looks at himself a lot and talks about being breathtaking, magnificent and gorgeous. Someone with long hair is behind him making faces, getting a good reaction from the crowd.

Wyatt Family promo, set to Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Mickey Keegan/Aiden English vs. Wyatt Family

The Family has their full Raw intro now. The fans are going NUTS for the Wyatts which is strange to hear. Luke and Erick clean house and the discus lariat sets up the splash from Rowan for the pin on English at 26 seconds.

Post match bray talks about how there are men that try and fail but then there are men who change the landscape of this world. He's the second kind of man and now he wants to know what the people around here are like. Today is the day that Bray Wyatt has decided to change the world.

Today is the day when pigs fly because Wyatt has told Mr. Fear that he is a liar. Go and tell all the world leaders because Bray Wyatt is coming to bring down the machine. Today the Wyatts say goodbye to NXT for now, but if you need to find Bray Wyatt, follow the buzzards. He throws in a little Time Is On My Side and drops the mic to chants of THANK YOU BRAY. This was WAY more intense than anything Wyatt has done and it worked very well.

Adrian Neville comes in to say he's got Corey Graves' back tonight in case the Wyatt Family interferes. Graves says if the Wyatt Family thinks they've seen a war, maybe the new champions should show them what war is.

Corey Graves vs. Scott Dawson

Graves misses a charge into the corner to start but the fans are entirely behind him. Dawson hits an elbow to the jaw for two and he does it again for the same result. Graves comes back with a kick to the jaw and a chop block to set up Lucky 13 for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.

Post match Corey celebrates with Neville but here's the Shield to interrupt. Rollins says Graves remembers the Shield for laying him out last time they were here. Graves and Neville are almost like Reigns and Rollins....but not quite. Ambrose says Neville is carrying around a belt because he slid into Kassius' Ohno's spot.

That makes him a thief, and that is an injustice. He offers Adrian a shot at greatness in a match but Neville wants the US Title on the line and to do it RIGHT NOW. Dean says Adrian isn't talking to some NXT chump but rather the US Champion. The title match is on for next week, and Neville says justice is served next week.

Leo Kruger/Antonio Cesaro vs. Bo Dallas/Sami Zayn

Kruger vs. Dallas for the title next week. Something I've touched on tonight has been the crowd who will cheer everyone from the bayou religious cult to the paramilitary group to the white supremacist. Bo Dallas comes out and is BOOED OUT OF THE BUILDING. A loud No More Bo chant breaks out as Zayn and Kruger get things going. There's an Ole chant and Zayn sends Leo across the ring out of a wristlock. Zayn jumps over Kruger in the corner and three straight armdrags set up an armbar on Leo.

Bo tags himself in and you can feel the crowd die. Off to Cesaro as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. Dallas snaps off some armdrags of his own but he takes too much time to tag, allowing Cesaro to kick him in the ribs to take over. A big boot puts Zayn on the floor but Dallas dropkicks Antonio down. Zayn gets the tag and Cesaro runs to the corner to tag Kruger who runs Sami over with a right hand.

We take a break and come back with Kruger getting two off a snap suplex to Zayn. Cesaro comes in with a European uppercut for two before putting on the standing chinlock. Back to Kruger who gets two off a headbutt and a double stomp. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Sami fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Cesaro comes back in before the hot tag can be made and gets two of his own off a powerbomb.

Off to a regular chinlock from Antonio but Sami fights up and kicks him in the face to escape. Bo gets the tag and is booed out of the arena again which I don't remember hearing on a hot tag before. Everything breaks down and it's Kruger vs. Dallas in the ring. Bo hits a quick powerslam to send Kruger to the floor but back inside the Slice (running clothesline) is enough to put Dallas down for the pin (and an ERUPTION) at 10:40 shown of 13:10.

Results
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Front flip facejam
Wyatt Family b. Mickey Keegan/Aiden English – Splash to English
Corey Graves b. Scott Dawson – Lucky 13
Leo Kruger/Antonio Cesaro b. Sami Zayn/Bo Dallas – Slice to Dallas

Thursday

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 1, 2013
Location: Kay Yeager Coliseum, Wichita, Texas
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Mike Tenay

It's another live show tonight with two major stories. First of all we have champion vs. champion with Chris Sabin facing Manik in a non-title match. TNA is still in their annual “We love the X-Division! Seriously we do!” stage so Manik is still a focal point for awhile. The other big news tonight is the reveal of the August 1 mystery man who was announced about five days ago. That's TNA for you: announce something after the TV show and rely on Twitter and Facebook to carry the story instead of, you know, your national television broadcast. Let's get to it.

Security won't let Taz in the arena so he's making a phone call.

After the recap we get another video from the mystery man. He says he'll inflict pain and we won't know how. It's going to shock us and we've been warned.

Here's Austin Aries to open the show. He's cut off by an appreciative chant from the crowd. Aries talks about how a lot of stuff is going on in TNA but it all revolves around the World Heavyweight Championship......and my screen froze. It comes back with Aries talking about winning the BFG Series and coming for Sabin's title. Tonight the people get a treat (video goes out for a second) that they voted for: AJ Styles vs. Austin Aries. And now it's frozen again.

Back with him listing off everyone in the company who wants to see that match. Aries says he'll be leading Impact Wrestling into the future and if anyone takes issue with that, come see him right here. This brings out Bobby Roode who wants to talk about nightmares. He's been living a nightmare since the day he lost the world title. It's been a bad year for Bobby Roode because everyone has forgotten what he's capable of doing in this ring. Bobby lists off his catchphrases and says tonight it pays to be Roode. Aries wants Roode to get his mojo back so he can beat him in the BFG Series finals.

Bound For Glory Series: Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

Roode jumps Hernandez on the ramp and we take a quick break before the bell. Back from a break with Roode elbowing Hernandez down for two and the spinebuster gets the same. Roode sends him into the steps before going back inside for another near fall. A running clothesline puts Hernandez down in the corner but he backflips to the top for a missed top rope splash.

Roode hooks the Crossface but Hernandez pulls himself up and suplexes Roode down to escape. SuperMex throws Roode off and hits the shoulder block from the ramp. Roode escapes the Border Toss and lands on the referee, allowing for a low blow on Hernandez. That's only good for two and Roode throws in some chairs which are thrown out pretty quickly. Roode uses the distraction to smash Hernandez in the head with a beer bottle for the pin at 5:48 shown.

The Mafia says they're going to give Aces and 8's an offer they can't refuse.

ODB is back in the ring tonight but Eric Young can't be there. He finds Joseph Park and explains the idea of Park losing his mind when he bleeds. Eric has a solution in a bag for him.

Sabin goes in to see Manik who has his mask off and his back to the camera. Manik says he's turned the mask into the face of the division which is something Sabin can respect. Sabin wants him to bring his best tonight and Manik says absolutely.

A white Hummer arrives.

Bound For Glory Series: Jay Bradley vs. Joseph Park

Park is going to be wrestling in headgear like an amateur boxer. Bradley jumps him from behind but ramming him into the buckle has no effect. An elbow to the jaw puts Park down and a knee drop gets two as Eric Young plays cheerleader. Bradley takes him down again and wants to take the headgear off but Park comes back and knocks Bradley down a few times.

Park blocks a kick and puts on a Boston crab of all things but Jay makes the ropes. Park runs into another kick in the corner and a bad looking backbreaker puts him down again. Now the headgear is off but the Boomstick is countered into a Samoan drop to give Park seven points at 5:24.

Sting goes a little psycho about Bully Ray not being champion. They're only halfway home though and someone might have to make a sacrifice to get rid of Aces and 8's. Rampage wants to fight.

Manik vs. Chris Sabin

Non-title all around. Sabin takes him down to the mat in a test of strength grip and they flip around the ring a bit without breaking the hold. A headscissors sends Sabin into a cartwheel and we have a standoff. Back with Manik spinning Sabin around and driving him down into a quickly broken armbar. Sabin takes it to the floor and drops Manik face first onto the apron before going back inside.

Back in and Sabin drops him with a suplex and puts on a chinlock. Sabin's surfboard is quickly broken and Manik snaps off a hurricanrana and a springboard kick to the side of the head. A springboard missile dropkick gets two and a sitout powerbomb gets the same. The masked man goes up and gets crotched followed by a delayed superplex from the world champion for two. They slug it out with Manik taking over but getting caught by a boot to the face. Hail Sabin is countered but Sabin gets an ugly rollup for two. A low superkick staggers Manik and Hail Sabin is good for the pin at 11:56.

Post match here's Bully Ray to beat up Sabin but as he turns his attention to Manik, Sabin comes back and beats Bully Ray out of the ring.

We look at the Hummer again but Taz comes into the camera shot and says he's going to reveal August 1. He opens the door and says you've got to be kidding me in a sarcastic voice. The camera looks in to show another August 1 video.

Daniels and Kaz think it's ridiculous for them to have a match in the BFG Series next week. Daniels mentions that Kaz is 0-3 and Kaz gets annoyed, saying don't pity him and pouring out the appletini.

ODB vs. Gail Kim

ODB chases her around to start and splashes her against the ropes on the ramp. She puts Gail on the ropes for some Sheamus forearms to the chest for two. Gail avoids a charge in the corner and chokes away with a boot. A running dropkick gets two and the running cross body in the corner gets the same on ODB. Gail misses another charge in the corner and ODB hits some shoulder blocks to set up the fallaway slam. A powerslam gets two on Kim but she tries the figure four around the post. ODB sends her face first into the post to escape but Gail sends her into the steps and it's a double countout at 6:14.

They brawl a lot after the bell.

AJ Styles says he's tired of hearing about dream matches because there's no room for dreams in this world, just like heroes.

Bully Ray rants to the Aces about taking care of the Mafia. Ray goes to leave and finds Brooke waiting on him. She messes with his vest and flicks his hat. Brooke has heard some things about the contract for the rematch with Sabin and if Ray wants to be happy, he needs to divorce her. Ok then.

Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process to start with AJ grabbing a headlock before they botch a leapfrog spot by colliding. Aries bails to the floor to reset a bit before coming back in and escaping a wristlock. AJ can't hook the Calf Killer as Aries counters into a rollup for two. Styles misses a baseball slide to the floor and Austin hits a top rope ax handle to take over. Aries goes up top but gets dropkicked back out to the floor and AJ hits a sweet slingshot dive as we take a break.

Back with AJ dropping a knee for two and sending Aries to the floor in a painful looking fall. Back in and Styles cranks on the head but Aries gets an elbow up in the corner to stop AJ's momentum. A backslide gets two for Aries but AJ backdrops him to the apron. Austin hits a neckbreaker onto the middle rope to take over again and follows up with the corner dropkick.

AJ blocks a suplex and lands on top but Aries pounds away. A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two for AJ but the springboard 450 only hits canvas. Aries hooks the Last Chancery but Styles rakes the face to escape. There's the Calf Killer but Aries goes to the eyes to escape as well. The brainbuster connects but AJ actually kicks out at two. Aries' 450 hits knees and both guys are down.

They head to the ramp with Aries loading up a brainbuster but having AJ escape into a Styles Clash attempt. Aries backdrops him to the floor but misses a suicide dive. They tease the countout but get back in to slug it out yet again. Aries snaps off a quick suplex but AJ hits the Pele and collapses. Aries falls on top of him for the pin at 17:48.

Here's the Mafia to make their offer to Aces and 8's. Before they say anything here are the Aces to say they can fight just as dirty as the Mafia. Angle offers a five on five match at Hardcore Justice with the losing wrestler leaving TNA forever. That's not a negotiation and the fight is on. The Mafia clears the ring with ease and Anderson says the match is on.

The lights go out and here's MMA fighter Tito Ortiz as the big reveal to end the show.

Results
Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Beer bottle to the head
Joseph Park b. Jay Bradley – Samoan Drop
Chris Sabin b. Manik – Hail Sabin
ODB vs. Gail Kim went to a double countout
Austin Aries b. AJ Styles – Aries fell on Styles after a Pele Kick

Friday

Kurt Angle was arrested for driving while intoxicated last night after Impact. This is his fourth alcohol related arrest in six years.

Impact got a 1.03, the same as last week.

Smackdown
Date: August 2, 2013
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Alex Riley

After the mess that was Raw on Monday hopefully things pick up tonight. Last week's show was very interesting with the focus on everything but the main event matches. That's the kind of show Smackdown needs to be: something completely different from Raw and not a rehash of everything we sit through for three hours. Let's get to it.

Here's Del Rio to announce his Summerslam opponent. Alberto says when he was champion before the fans didn't support him so he has nothing to thank them for. Now he's champion again and there's nothing they can do about it. He does however want to thank Vickie Guerrero for allowing her to pick his Summerslam opponent.

Del Rio says Cena picked the troll Daniel Bryan to hide from Del Rio, so maybe Alberto should pick the beast Brock Lesnar. Well he's taken already so maybe it should be Houston's own Booker T. That won't work either because everything that comes out of Houston is worthless. That's the best insult he can come up with? Then Del Rio came up with the perfect opponent to grant a first ever world title shot: Ricardo Rodriguez.

This brings out Vickie who says Del Rio is trying to disrespect him. She speaks some Spanish and calls Ricardo a jiggly little manchild. Alberto says he wasn't trying to disrespect her and he'll pick Brooklyn Brawler instead. Vickie says Vince wouldn't like that pick so Del Rio will face the winner of RVD vs. Orton vs. Christian tonight.

This is a good example of why GM's are a waste of time. The whole segment took over ten minutes and could have easily been accomplished by saying “tonight there's a triple threat match for the #1 contendership.” Instead we have to bring out Vickie and listen to Alberto when we could have used this time for anything else. It develops Del Rio as a cowardly heel a little bit, but the same thing could have been accomplished in a backstage segment with him recommending Ricardo or the Brawler as his opponents.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ for the title later.

We recap Cody stealing the briefcase last week and throwing it in the Gulf of Mexico.

Cody Rhodes vs. Jack Swagger

Colter doesn't start talking until Cody is already on the apron. Rhodes doesn't want to listen so he decks Swagger to get us going. Cody hits a quick uppercut and a knee to the side of the head for two. Swagger comes back with his powerslam/belly to belly and a clothesline for two. Cody fights up but the Disaster Kick is knocked out of the air and a Vader Bomb gets two. The gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for the pin for Cody at 1:57.

Post break Cody goes on a rant against Sandow for being so stuck up and bragging about himself. Cody compares throwing the briefcase into the Gulf to the Deep Water Horizon oil spill. “That was a joke.” Sandow comes in and beats him down for the bad line.

Sin Cara vs. Big E. Langston

Langston runs over Cara as the lights go orange. Cara mostly hits what was supposed to be a dropkick for two as Ziggler is watching from the back. Big E. takes him down with a headlock and drives an elbow in the chest. Langston goes old school with an abdominal stretch and even gets caught holding the ropes. Riley: “Only illegal if you get caught.” Cole: “He did get caught. That's why the referee was counting.” Cara springboards into the Big Ending but slips down the back and fires off some kicks. A standing Lionsault is caught in the Big Ending for the pin at 2:52. It was longer than I was expecting but Langston dominated.

Wyatt Family promo focusing on their issues with Kane.

Layla and Kaitlyn are in the back with the Brit saying she'll support Kaitlyn in her match tonight. Kaitlyn's idea for AJ: “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice you're going to get speared.” Layla says she's been around a long time and Kaitlyn is the real deal. They hug and Layla smiles a lot.

Del Rio yells at Vickie for going back on her word about letting him pick his opponent. She accuses him of being afraid when Brad Maddox comes in. Apparently Del Rio will be on Raw and under his jurisdiction. Isn't he there every week?

Fandango vs. CM Punk

This is a result of Fandango interrupting Punk last week. Fandango dances around so Punk kicks him in the legs to take over. Punk fires off strikes but gets caught in a headlock from the dancer. A spinning kick to the ribs and a high elbow take Fandango down for two but he sends Punk into the corner to take over again. A GTS attempt is escaped and we take a break.

Back with Fandango coming around Summer to send Punk into the steps. Punk slides back in at the last second and Fandango starts in on the arm. He drives knees and elbows into Punk's face before we hit the chinlock. So much for the arm stuff. Fandango cranks on the chinlock and wraps his leg around Punk for extra leverage.

Punk fights up but a hard elbow to the face gets two. Fandango misses a splash and Punk hits the running knee in the corner. Fandango rolls to the apron and gets in a kick to the head and a falcon's arrow for two. The top rope legdrop is countered and a superplex sets up the Anaconda Vice to make Fandango tap at 9:40 shown of 12:00.

We recap the opening of the show.

RVD says Christian and Orton aren't pushovers but they're not Rob Van Dam. Christian comes in and says he deserves one more match. Orton comes in and says he's fine with winning the World Heavyweight Champion while still holding the briefcase. Van Dam says he's here to win titles, not to stroll down memory lane.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ

AJ is defending and Kaitlyn, the hometown girl, has Layla with her. Kaitlyn takes her straight into the corner to start but AJ comes back with a quick sleeper. She wraps Kaitlyn up on the mat as Layla plays cheerleader. Kaitlyn gets up and rams the champion into the corner but AJ trips her up and dances around the ring. The blonde comes back with a gutbuster to send AJ to the floor but Layla gets in the way of the spear and smiles. AJ gets in a cheap shot and the Black Widow gets the submission at 3:02.

The Raw ReBound recaps the Vince/Bryan situation and the double main event from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

The winner gets Del Rio at Summerslam, but the booking makes little sense. Cole says Orton and Christian are here because they pinned the champion. Van Dam lost to the same guy clean in less than three minutes but he gets the same reward as guys who got clean pinfalls? The champion comes out and says he'll be watching the three stooges beat the guacamole out of each other. One of them will be tapping out at Summerslam and does anyone really believe him?

Orton is sent to the floor and Van Dam kicks Christian down but Randy trips up Rolling Thunder. Van Dam sends Orton into the steps and puts him on the barricade followed by the spin kick to the back. Van Dam celebrates but gets caught by a spear from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian getting two on Van Dam off a tornado DDT. Rob rolls to the floor and Orton pounds away on the Canadian. Randy hits a superplex for a delayed two and Rob is back with the kicks all around. A monkey flip (which isn't unique Cole) sends Christian flying and the split legged moonsault gets two on Orton.

Van Dam charges into Orton's knee but Christian counters Randy's Elevated DDT. Rob is sent to the floor as well and Christian joins them. Rob slams Christian down and goes back in for a BIG flip dive to take everyone out as we take another break. Back with Orton and Christian slugging it out and Van Dam on the floor. Orton catches Christian's middle rope dropkick and starts a pinfall reversal sequence. Christian takes over and knocks Van Dam off the apron but the spear misses. The middle rope back elbow puts Orton down but Rob kicks Orton down before the Killswitch.

Another kick puts Christian down and the Five Star connects for a delayed two, allowing Orton to make the save. Van Dam hangs on to avoid the powerslam but Orton pops up to catch Rolling Thunder in the powerslam in a cool move. Rob fights out of the Elevated DDT but Orton dropkicks him to block a springboard. The Elevated DDT lays Christian out but Orton has to hit the RKO on a charging Van Dam. The distraction allows Christian to backslide Orton for the pin and the title shot at 10:20 shown of 15:50.

Post match Orton teases turning on Christian but shakes his hand instead. Rob shakes his hand too. Christian is about to say something but Del Rio jumps him from behind to end the show.

Results
Cody Rhodes b. Jack Swagger – Sunset Flip
Big E. Langston b. Sin Cara – Big Ending
CM Punk b. Fandango – Anaconda Vice
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow
Christian b. Randy Orton and Rob Van Dam – Backslide to Orton


Quick Results

Monday Night Raw
Shield b. Mark Henry/Usos – Bulldog Driver to Jimmy
Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via countout
Kaitly b. AJ Lee – Spear
Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston via DQ when AJ interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natayla – Rollup
John Cena b. Ryback – AA through a table

NXT
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Front flip facejam
Wyatt Family b. Mickey Keegan/Aiden English – Splash to English
Corey Graves b. Scott Dawson – Lucky 13
Leo Kruger/Antonio Cesaro b. Sami Zayn/Bo Dallas – Slice to Dallas

Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Beer bottle to the head
Joseph Park b. Jay Bradley – Samoan Drop
Chris Sabin b. Manik – Hail Sabin
ODB vs. Gail Kim went to a double countout
Austin Aries b. AJ Styles – Aries fell on Styles after a Pele Kick

Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Jack Swagger – Sunset Flip
Big E. Langston b. Sin Cara – Big Ending
CM Punk b. Fandango – Anaconda Vice
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow
Christian b. Randy Orton and Rob Van Dam – Backslide to Orton
 

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