Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
Deadline is Wednesday, March 23rd, at 11:59PM. Extensions available according to new extension rules.
Meltdown 128: Ty Burna vs. Justin Cooper
- Thread starter Richard Blonoff
- Start date
- Status
Ty Burna
Getting Noticed By Management
Ty: Perfect Execution. Would this be the last assassination? Like an AK rapping off every last lethal bullet. Let me find one aimed right for your brain and watch your mental fold up like an old wallet. Judgement Day comes at the end of a shotgun, the slugs penetrating through the heart. Nothing more than fodder for these streets. Another dead banger, another crushed rose. No one notices what they step upon, the growth they inhibit. Is this what I have become? Is this all I am good for now? To watch those that struggle believing their path is more treacherous than the one I blazed? There is no salvation for those that shun the light. There is only the blackness of the void.
Rest under your grave, your fight is over. Your legacy carries on with me. Has it truly been so long? To watch the tails of time floating ever so swiftly, you would be proud of her. She is everything we are not, for that she's already ahead in this life. She will not have to be on the grind, she's going to be somebody to look up to. She will not know the feeling of living among broken bricks and along the cold concrete. Pure innocence born from the most vile. I truly am not worthy of such a blessing, but I know that what I carry is what I will use to make her life right. Through all the mistakes I have made, through all the trials and tribulations, I will shield her. I will do right by her. Woe is the man that tries to harm her, for she carries the devil as her guardian angel. I know you watch over her even in death, just as we watched each other's backs so long ago. I still do not understand why it was not me that was lowered six feet under, but I do know I have lived my life in honor of the life that was stolen from you. Rest your eyes now, for you have won the war, and one day I shall join you, brother.
The scene fades in briefly in a graveyard, Ty knelt down in front of a grave as he reaches out and picks up a lit cigarette off the grave, inhaling slowly as he stands, his hair tied back while still wearing the torn suit from before in Culiacan. As he walks away the camera zooms in on the gravestone, freshly built with the name Anthony Henderson on it. The scene fades away before returning at the home of Ty Burna. A lone light illuminates the porch as Ty slowly walks up onto it, opening the door and entering. He closes the door behind him as he breathes in deeply. The events of the evening now finally dawning upon him when suddenly his wife Arianna comes walking in, a rather unhappy look upon her face.
Arianna: You took your sweet time getting home.
Ty: I had business in Mexico to attend to you. You know that.
Arianna: Is that so? And by business do you mean playing vigilante?
Ty quirks an eyebrow as he slowly slides out of his suit jacket, inspecting the blood stains and tears in it. He shakes his head as he runs his fingers along the tear, there was no hope for this much damage. He tosses the jacket to the side as he undoes his cuffs and tie, rolling the sleeves up.
Ty: I was assisting El Caidos. He has some serious problems going on in Culiacan.
Arianna: I appreciate you helping your friend Tyrone, but do you know how much your daughter cried waiting for you to get home? You promised her you would be home in time to tuck her in! God damn it Ty I warned you when you got back into WZCW that we can't fall back on old habits!
Ty sighs as he leans back against the wall, reaching back and ripping the band around his hair out, letting his locks of hair fall around his face as he stares down at the ground. Arianna grits her teeth as she slams her hand into Ty's shoulder staring him dead in the eyes.
Ty: Look I know work has caught up with me again. I'm sorry Arianna.
Arianna: That's it? Sorry isn't going to fucking cut it this time Ty! While Skylar and I have been here home alone, you've been busy flying back and forth to Mexico. For what? Is that gym worth your time more than us? Answer me god damn it!
Ty lifts his head up, gritting his teeth now as he stares through his wife, anger rising up in him as he pushes Arianna's arm off of him. He walks forward and throws his tie to the side, placing his hands on the kitchen counter, his voice waivering.
Ty: So if you know about what happened tonight, then what about those women we saved? What about those poor girls that the only god damn future they had was as slaves or even worse when they were used up? You know damn well what I struggle with on a daily basis Arianna! You know what dwells underneath. Damn it do you know how many people we helped tonight? We've struck a blow to those cartels that run Culiacan. They've lost one of their main sources of political power because of what the Phantoms did tonight. Is that not something to be proud of? I saved lives instead of destroying them!
Ty turns towards Arianna, his eyes glowing red and a low growl escaping him as his emotions become more fired up. Arianna's eyes light up purple in return as she grabs Ty by the collar.
Arianna: You still broke your promise to your daughter! You broke her heart tonight Tyrone. Congratulations, you saved people you'll never see again in exchange for your daughter's heart? Are you proud of that fact?
Ty: Do you think I like breaking promises to Skylar? I know I am in the wrong with that Arianna, but damn it something had to be done? Had I not been there El Caidos would have been tortured or dead right now. How will that look when I have to bury yet another brother in the ground? Or have you forgotten all about Anthony now that I've given you everything you need?
Arianna's eyes blink back to normal as she steps back, her hand quaking as she slowly slides it off Ty's collar, tears coming to her eyes as she turns away, silent sobs causing her chest to heave.
Arianna: What does any of this have to do with Anthony? What could it possibly have to do with him?
Ty sits down, clasping his hands in front of him as his eyes return to normal, his hair falling down in front of his face as his voice waivers as he speaks.
Ty: It has everything to do with him Arianna. You know it and I know it that I should be the one in that grave, not him. I had no right to survive that night. I found El Caidos tossed out like common trash last week, brutally beaten by whatever guy is pretending to be El Califa and his thugs. Don't you see it? He's fighting a war and he can't do it on his own. I won't let another friend die while I stand idly by. I won't fucking do it Arianna. I've lived through enough death in my lifetime to know the only funeral I want to be at from here on is my own.
Arianna: Don't you dare speak like that. We don't live on the streets anymore Ty. We don't have to worry about our next meal or wonder what creeps around the next corner.
Arianna turns and drapes herself onto Ty, wrapping her arms around him tightly, crying loudly as Ty hugs her close, a single tear escaping his right eye.
Ty: Arianna....
Arianna: I can't do this without you Ty. You mean too much to me and Skylar to speak about death. Celebrate life with us, the past is the past, please understand that. No matter what happens you come home to us, you don't come home to gunshots anymore. We love you Ty, and I am worried about you returning to that old you. I fell in love with the man that could protect me, that told me that we would reach the top, no matter what it takes, but I'm in love now with the man that reads a story to our daughter every night, that tucks her in to bed. The man that will sit there and color with crayons for hours on end just to make his daughter happy. The man that smiles warmly, not a sign of coldness in his heart. You're not that hustler on the street corner anymore Ty. You don't have to struggle to survive anymore. This isn't what Anthony would want, he would want you to celebrate life, not dwell upon his death.
Ty stares forward, the words washing over him before he buries his face into his wife's shoulder, her hand reaching up and resting on top of his head as she holds him close. The memories fly by, Ty and Anthony laughing as they crack jokes with one another. The two back to back as bullets fly all around them, just trying to survive. The final moments of Anthony's life as he clasps Ty's hand, whispering one final message to him.
Anthony: Live, brother.
Ty snaps out of it as Arianna rests her head against his, her hand sliding up his neck to the side of his face as he slowly lifts his head, his eyes red, though bloodshot not glowing. Arianna leans down the two kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck once more as the two share a passionate moment. Ty slowly stands, sweeping his wife up in his arms as he carries her upstairs to their bedroom, the door slowly closing behind them as the scene fades away. It returns the next morning as Ty exits his room, now wearing a muscle shirt and shorts as he peeks into his daughter's room. Skylar sits there watching TV before looking over, a huge smile forming on her face.
Skylar: Daddy!
She rushes towards him and hugs him tightly as Ty sits down on the floor, holding his daughter close. He holds his hand up, closed around something.
Ty: I got something for you.
Skylar: A present? For me?
Ty nods as he opens his hand, a hand woven bracelet with beautiful jewels tied into it. Skylar squeals as she grabs it, staring at the jewels. Ty takes it from her and wraps it around her wrist, securing it for her. Skylar hugs him tightly once more, whispering in his ear.
Skylar: You're the best daddy in the world.
Ty can't help but smile as he brushes his daughter's hair back a bit, patting her on the back before pulling back a bit.
Ty: Has daddy told you about your uncle Anthony?
Skylar shakes her head as she looks up at him inquisitively.
Ty: You would have liked him Skylar.
Skylar: Was he your best friend like Sylvia is to me?
Ty: Yes he was Skylar.
Skylar: Will I get to meet him?
Ty smiles a bit sadly as he looks at his daughter, a smile on her face before she snuggles into his chest, his arms wrapped around her.
Ty: Perhaps one day you will. But for now just know he's watching over you, making sure you're safe, ok?
Skylar nods as she begins babbling on about her bracelet, her mind immediately switching gears as Ty listens intently. Arianna suddenly appears in the doorway, leaning against it as she crosses her arms, watching them quietly as the scene fades away slowly.
Rest under your grave, your fight is over. Your legacy carries on with me. Has it truly been so long? To watch the tails of time floating ever so swiftly, you would be proud of her. She is everything we are not, for that she's already ahead in this life. She will not have to be on the grind, she's going to be somebody to look up to. She will not know the feeling of living among broken bricks and along the cold concrete. Pure innocence born from the most vile. I truly am not worthy of such a blessing, but I know that what I carry is what I will use to make her life right. Through all the mistakes I have made, through all the trials and tribulations, I will shield her. I will do right by her. Woe is the man that tries to harm her, for she carries the devil as her guardian angel. I know you watch over her even in death, just as we watched each other's backs so long ago. I still do not understand why it was not me that was lowered six feet under, but I do know I have lived my life in honor of the life that was stolen from you. Rest your eyes now, for you have won the war, and one day I shall join you, brother.
The scene fades in briefly in a graveyard, Ty knelt down in front of a grave as he reaches out and picks up a lit cigarette off the grave, inhaling slowly as he stands, his hair tied back while still wearing the torn suit from before in Culiacan. As he walks away the camera zooms in on the gravestone, freshly built with the name Anthony Henderson on it. The scene fades away before returning at the home of Ty Burna. A lone light illuminates the porch as Ty slowly walks up onto it, opening the door and entering. He closes the door behind him as he breathes in deeply. The events of the evening now finally dawning upon him when suddenly his wife Arianna comes walking in, a rather unhappy look upon her face.
Arianna: You took your sweet time getting home.
Ty: I had business in Mexico to attend to you. You know that.
Arianna: Is that so? And by business do you mean playing vigilante?
Ty quirks an eyebrow as he slowly slides out of his suit jacket, inspecting the blood stains and tears in it. He shakes his head as he runs his fingers along the tear, there was no hope for this much damage. He tosses the jacket to the side as he undoes his cuffs and tie, rolling the sleeves up.
Ty: I was assisting El Caidos. He has some serious problems going on in Culiacan.
Arianna: I appreciate you helping your friend Tyrone, but do you know how much your daughter cried waiting for you to get home? You promised her you would be home in time to tuck her in! God damn it Ty I warned you when you got back into WZCW that we can't fall back on old habits!
Ty sighs as he leans back against the wall, reaching back and ripping the band around his hair out, letting his locks of hair fall around his face as he stares down at the ground. Arianna grits her teeth as she slams her hand into Ty's shoulder staring him dead in the eyes.
Ty: Look I know work has caught up with me again. I'm sorry Arianna.
Arianna: That's it? Sorry isn't going to fucking cut it this time Ty! While Skylar and I have been here home alone, you've been busy flying back and forth to Mexico. For what? Is that gym worth your time more than us? Answer me god damn it!
Ty lifts his head up, gritting his teeth now as he stares through his wife, anger rising up in him as he pushes Arianna's arm off of him. He walks forward and throws his tie to the side, placing his hands on the kitchen counter, his voice waivering.
Ty: So if you know about what happened tonight, then what about those women we saved? What about those poor girls that the only god damn future they had was as slaves or even worse when they were used up? You know damn well what I struggle with on a daily basis Arianna! You know what dwells underneath. Damn it do you know how many people we helped tonight? We've struck a blow to those cartels that run Culiacan. They've lost one of their main sources of political power because of what the Phantoms did tonight. Is that not something to be proud of? I saved lives instead of destroying them!
Ty turns towards Arianna, his eyes glowing red and a low growl escaping him as his emotions become more fired up. Arianna's eyes light up purple in return as she grabs Ty by the collar.
Arianna: You still broke your promise to your daughter! You broke her heart tonight Tyrone. Congratulations, you saved people you'll never see again in exchange for your daughter's heart? Are you proud of that fact?
Ty: Do you think I like breaking promises to Skylar? I know I am in the wrong with that Arianna, but damn it something had to be done? Had I not been there El Caidos would have been tortured or dead right now. How will that look when I have to bury yet another brother in the ground? Or have you forgotten all about Anthony now that I've given you everything you need?
Arianna's eyes blink back to normal as she steps back, her hand quaking as she slowly slides it off Ty's collar, tears coming to her eyes as she turns away, silent sobs causing her chest to heave.
Arianna: What does any of this have to do with Anthony? What could it possibly have to do with him?
Ty sits down, clasping his hands in front of him as his eyes return to normal, his hair falling down in front of his face as his voice waivers as he speaks.
Ty: It has everything to do with him Arianna. You know it and I know it that I should be the one in that grave, not him. I had no right to survive that night. I found El Caidos tossed out like common trash last week, brutally beaten by whatever guy is pretending to be El Califa and his thugs. Don't you see it? He's fighting a war and he can't do it on his own. I won't let another friend die while I stand idly by. I won't fucking do it Arianna. I've lived through enough death in my lifetime to know the only funeral I want to be at from here on is my own.
Arianna: Don't you dare speak like that. We don't live on the streets anymore Ty. We don't have to worry about our next meal or wonder what creeps around the next corner.
Arianna turns and drapes herself onto Ty, wrapping her arms around him tightly, crying loudly as Ty hugs her close, a single tear escaping his right eye.
Ty: Arianna....
Arianna: I can't do this without you Ty. You mean too much to me and Skylar to speak about death. Celebrate life with us, the past is the past, please understand that. No matter what happens you come home to us, you don't come home to gunshots anymore. We love you Ty, and I am worried about you returning to that old you. I fell in love with the man that could protect me, that told me that we would reach the top, no matter what it takes, but I'm in love now with the man that reads a story to our daughter every night, that tucks her in to bed. The man that will sit there and color with crayons for hours on end just to make his daughter happy. The man that smiles warmly, not a sign of coldness in his heart. You're not that hustler on the street corner anymore Ty. You don't have to struggle to survive anymore. This isn't what Anthony would want, he would want you to celebrate life, not dwell upon his death.
Ty stares forward, the words washing over him before he buries his face into his wife's shoulder, her hand reaching up and resting on top of his head as she holds him close. The memories fly by, Ty and Anthony laughing as they crack jokes with one another. The two back to back as bullets fly all around them, just trying to survive. The final moments of Anthony's life as he clasps Ty's hand, whispering one final message to him.
Anthony: Live, brother.
Ty snaps out of it as Arianna rests her head against his, her hand sliding up his neck to the side of his face as he slowly lifts his head, his eyes red, though bloodshot not glowing. Arianna leans down the two kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck once more as the two share a passionate moment. Ty slowly stands, sweeping his wife up in his arms as he carries her upstairs to their bedroom, the door slowly closing behind them as the scene fades away. It returns the next morning as Ty exits his room, now wearing a muscle shirt and shorts as he peeks into his daughter's room. Skylar sits there watching TV before looking over, a huge smile forming on her face.
Skylar: Daddy!
She rushes towards him and hugs him tightly as Ty sits down on the floor, holding his daughter close. He holds his hand up, closed around something.
Ty: I got something for you.
Skylar: A present? For me?
Ty nods as he opens his hand, a hand woven bracelet with beautiful jewels tied into it. Skylar squeals as she grabs it, staring at the jewels. Ty takes it from her and wraps it around her wrist, securing it for her. Skylar hugs him tightly once more, whispering in his ear.
Skylar: You're the best daddy in the world.
Ty can't help but smile as he brushes his daughter's hair back a bit, patting her on the back before pulling back a bit.
Ty: Has daddy told you about your uncle Anthony?
Skylar shakes her head as she looks up at him inquisitively.
Ty: You would have liked him Skylar.
Skylar: Was he your best friend like Sylvia is to me?
Ty: Yes he was Skylar.
Skylar: Will I get to meet him?
Ty smiles a bit sadly as he looks at his daughter, a smile on her face before she snuggles into his chest, his arms wrapped around her.
Ty: Perhaps one day you will. But for now just know he's watching over you, making sure you're safe, ok?
Skylar nods as she begins babbling on about her bracelet, her mind immediately switching gears as Ty listens intently. Arianna suddenly appears in the doorway, leaning against it as she crosses her arms, watching them quietly as the scene fades away slowly.
Da Prophet
Mid-Card Championship Winner
The scene begins inside Justin Cooper’s bedroom, a calming layer of blue paint covers the walls. It’s a peaceful place; somewhere you could go to escape from all your troubles. That was on most days. Have we arrived at one of those days? Of course not, that wouldn’t make a good story. Justin was sitting on the floor inside the bedroom. He sat on his knees amongst a toy race course he had constructed. Boxes, books, food containers and all sorts of other things were scattered on the floor as obstacles in this race course of death!
Justin: Zoom! Arrrrgggghh! Zoom!
Such fun.
The former Elite X and Mayhem Champion (twice!) was having the time of his life as he pushed the toy car around the track. It was a black car with yellow stickers on the side. Those stickers likely gave it increased speed as stickers are known to do that.
Justin: Coming to the final turn of the race now and Justin Cooper is in the lead once again. Wait a second, who is that coming up to challenge the leader?
While using his right hand to push the car, Justin turned back and began pushing a loaf of bread. He didn’t have another car, alright! Even the bread wasn’t the best choice as it was stale.
Justin: It’s Ty Burna racing up behind Justin!
For those of you wondering, yes, the bread is stale because Ty Burna is stale. That’s the joke. Duh.
Justin: Oh no, Ty Burna is slipping he’s gone off the race course! Ty Burna has been KOed!
Justin laughed as he threw the bread over his shoulder. He turned back to his car and pushed it over the finish line, cheering loudly as he achieved victory in this fantasy race.
Justin: The crowd goes wild. Aaaaaaah. Thousands cheering like crazy, it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Cooper! Cooper! Cooper!
These fantasy people were going wild for him. Justin stood up and began waving to the crowd. It was like he could see the jam packed race course with thousands of fans supporting him. This was his moment, he jumped it the air and pumped his fist... only to land on the car he had just been playing with. Crunch.
Oh shit.
Justin: Oh shit.
He looked down and underneath his boot was the toy car split in half. He had broken it.
Justin: Iris is going to kill me.
A twist! Somebody call the press. Get those people from Spotlight on this right now.
You see this wasn’t Justin’s toy car. Oh no, this belonged to Iris. Now Iris had told Justin not to play with his toy car because Justin had broken the last one Iris owned. That warning was not taken to heart by Justin so off he went and did the same damn thing again.
Justin: Umm... I can fix it.
Frantically Justin raced in and out of his bedroom. Each time he entered with a new way of fixing the toy car. It was split into two pieces so he attempted to tape it back together but it kept falling back into two parts. He tried using glue but it just dripped all over the floor. He grabbed super glue but all that did was glue his hands together. Nothing was working. Justin couldn’t fix it.
Justin: I can’t fix it.
What was he going to do? Tell the truth? Justin pondered his options. He looked down at the toy car and then sprang into action. In one swift motion he pushed the toy car and all the other stuff used for the race course under his bed. He removed any trace that this activity ever occurred. Justin then sat down on the edge of his bed. He had done the wrong thing but Iris must never know. As he sat there thinking of ways he could continue to cover this up, the front door opened and Iris entered the apartment.
Iris: Justin! The shows about to start. I’m going to change and I’ll meet you down in the lounge room in five minutes.
Justin: Gotcha! I’ll be right there.
He had a chance right there to tell him. Justin was on edge about this situation. Could telling the truth be the best course of action?
Justin: I can’t tell him. He’ll be furious and if I cover it up he’ll never know and I will never be in trouble. Yes, that’s the way to go. Lies will fix everything. I don’t want to make him upset either. He’ll be so sad if he finds out I broke his car. Yeah, best for everyone if I don’t tell Iris.
Justin stood up having convinced himself he was doing the right thing. He exited the bedroom and went downstairs to join Iris.
^^^
We join the boys in the lounge room of the apartment. They’re sitting watching television with Justin not making eye contact with Iris at any point during their quick conversations during the ad breaks. A few minutes later what sounds like an ending theme to an old sitcom begins to play, Iris grabs the remote and begins turning down the volume on the television.
Iris: You know I really do love me some old sitcoms.
Justin: Really? How interesting. Look I gotta go-
Iris: I especially love those episodes which are filler. The ones that don’t really advance an overall storyline but rather just deal with a basic one episode plot. Those were the best.
Justin: Yep. Nothing like some filler before a big episode like a special.
Iris nods his head.
Iris: It’s also great for character development of the secondary characters that appear alongside the main characters in major storylines. But back to the sitcoms, as a kid I loved watching them. It’s why I watch them now as they remind me of home and family. My mother worked long hours so it was the only time I got to spend with her. We would talk about the message of the episode after it aired since a lot of these filler sitcom episodes had a social message behind their plot.
Justin: Life lessons are best learned from fictional characters on the television.
Iris: That reminds me about something I needed to discuss with you.
Justin: What would that be?
Iris: You and Mark have got to get back on the same page. Recently it’s not working out as well as it was before you guys started going up against Ty.
Justin: Cause he’s always cheating! Ty doesn’t have to follow the rules. The same goes for Constantine and Abel last week. I clearly need a few moments to gather my thoughts but Abel thinks it’s acceptable to go right ahead and hit me with his finisher. Rude.
Iris stares up at the roof before smacking his hand on his forehead.
Iris: We can’t worry about last week. We just we to get you back on track with Mark. Together you’re just as strong as Ty and El Caidos. You’ve just got to get on the same page.
Before Justin can reply, a knock at the door can be heard. Justin walks over the door, peering through the little hole at eye level to see who it is. Our hero smiles, he turns back to Iris and whispers.
Justin: It’s friendly neighbour Joe. Let’s see what he wants.
Justin opens the front door revealing neighbour Joe! An applause track, one similar to those heard in the old sitcoms, plays as Joe enters the apartment.
Iris: Joe, so good to see you.
Joe: Howdy. It’s nice to see you boys again.
Justin: How you been?
Joe: Unfortunately, not so well at the moment.
Iris: Oh no, anything we can do to help?
Joe: You see, the wife and I are having our wedding anniversary today so I decided to have her wedding ring cleaned. I’ve gone and lost the damn thing somewhere at home and I can’t find it. Boys, would you help me find it?
Our heroes lock eyes and exchange a manly nod.
Justin: Of course we will help you. We will find the ring and you will have an excellent anniversary.
Iris: What if we can’t find it? Have you thought about telling her?
Joe: I can’t tell her. She’ll be furious.
Iris: What does she think happened to the ring at the moment?
Joe: She still thinks it’s getting cleaned. I lied to her to stall and give me some more time.
Iris: Do you really think telling lies is the best option right now? If you’re honest with her she might understand. You’ve got to be honest from the start otherwise you end up stacking more and more lies on the original and that can cause more harm than the original mistake.
Joe seems to be understanding what Iris is saying. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a mobile phone.
Joe: I’m going to call her right now and tell her the truth.
Suddenly Justin leaps over and smacks the phone out of Joe’s hand.
Justin: Don’t be stupid Joe. She’ll be furious. You said it yourself. A little lie in this situation is fine until you fix it. You don’t want to make her mad on her wedding anniversary do you?
Joe: Well no, not really.
Justin: Good. We’ll go to your apartment and find the ring without ever having to tell your wife anything. That’s the best option.
Iris: I dunno.
Justin: Trust me Iris.
Joe: But we only have until 6 PM. That’s the time I booked the dinner for. We’ll have to find it before then.
Will the boys be able to find the missing ring before the deadline or will Joe be forced to tell his wife the truth? Have you figured out the life lesson yet?
^^^
Four hours have elapsed since neighbour Joe first arrived at the apartment of Iris and Justin. Not much progress has been made to be honest. We now find ourselves at Joe’s house and the place has been turned upside down!
Wait, that’s just the camera. Give me a second.
(Flips camera right way up)
We are back. Anyway, the cupboards have been emptied and the couches have been flipped over. The table is leaning against the wall as Justin peers down the cracks of the wall trying to find this ring. Iris is in the bathroom with his hand down a pipe trying to feel for the missing ring. Joe running up and down the halls as the deadline approaches fast, searching for the ring and getting dressed at the same time.
Joe: Any luck yet?
Iris: No.
Justin: Nothing over here.
Joe collapses down onto the floor. He can’t believe his luck.
Joe: We’ll never find it. It’s gone forever and my wife will never forgive me.
Justin: Looks that way.
Iris: Justin!
Justin: What? It’ll take him twenty minutes to get to the restaurant so we’ll have to leave soon. If we haven’t found it by now I doubt we’re going to find the thing at all.
Iris shakes his head at Justin with a clear look of frustration on his face. He then turns to Joe and places a hand on his shoulder.
Iris: We might not find it but you can still save this from being a total failure. Be honest with your wife and tell her what happened. I’m sure she’ll understand.
Justin: Bullshit. Nobody ever understands mistakes. Take what Ty Burna did to me two weeks ago. I saved my rookie tag partner and I get hit with his kick to the face as a thank you. I was doing something kind and that’s what I get in return. Had I just stayed in the corner nothing would have happened to me.
Iris: Honesty is the best way to approach things like this. Tell your wife the truth or even your tag partner. Deal with the issues instead of going to insane lengths to cover it all up.
Joe: You’re right. I’m going to tell her the truth.
Justin: I told Ty Burna the truth and look how far that got me. Now I’m stuck facing him on Meltdown this week. Oh, spooky guy going to do his spooky thing and I’ll probably get hit that the same stupid kick again.
Iris: Don’t worry about him. We’ll go with you to the restaurant and you can tell your wife the truth.
The search has ended and now we approach our final destination. Justin can’t believe what is about to happen, Iris is pleased but Joe is the most nervous of the three. How will his wife react?
^^^
The dinner is about to begin and Joe is seated with his wife. Our loveable duo are standing behind him as his wife looks very upset across the table. She’s all dressed up for the special occasion but the lack of wedding ring is clearly causing her a great deal of pain.
Joe’s Wife: I don’t know where I put it. It’s just vanished.
Cry, cry, cry.
Joe: Honey, I have something to tell you. I lost the ring.
Joe’s Wife: You did what? I’ve been worrying all about, blaming myself and it was you who lost my ring? What the hell is wrong with you?
Justin: I told you! Never admit your wrong!
Joe: I was going to tell you but I was afraid you’d be furious.
Joe’s Wife: You bet your ass I’m furious.
Joe: I was trying to get it cleaned. I was doing something nice. To make this evening even more special.
Joe’s Wife: Then why lie about it? You could’ve told me what happened but instead you let me feel bad all day.
Joe realises by lying he has made the situation even worse than it had to be. He reaches out his hand and grabs his wife’s. They look into each other’s eyes and...
Nobody came to read this nonsense.
All is well with the couple and now we can cut to the good part.
If you want heart-warming boring stuff just wait for the other guy. He’ll write about kid with the weird name.
^^^
Having saved the day, Iris and Justin find themselves back in the apartment where it all started. Iris and Justin are once again sitting on the couch, this time enjoying a bowl of chips. Both men look exhausted, as you would expect, having just saved a marriage.
However the experience seems to have made an impact on Justin. He turns to Iris and taps him on the shoulder.
Justin: I’ve got something to tell you.
Iris: Wait, I’ve got something to show you first.
Iris pushes himself off the couch, he heads upstairs for a moment and comes back down with a box. It’s wrapped up so we don’t know what’s in it yet but I’m sure we’ll find out within the next thirty seconds before I’m getting sleepy and don’t want to drag this out longer than I have to.
Iris: Here you go.
Justin takes the box and begins tearing away the paper.
Justin: Oh...
It’s a toy race car!
Iris: So now you don’t have to borrow mine all the time.
Justin: I can’t accept this.
Iris: Why not?
Justin: Earlier today I accidentally broke your race car. I tried to fix it but I couldn’t. After everything that happened today it’s clear that I should have been honest with you from the beginning. So, here, keep it for yourself. I’m sorry.
Iris: Thank you. See honesty feel good.
Justin: Yeah. And honestly I can’t wait to kick Ty Burna right in his cake face this week. Smudge that eyeliner up a little and ruin his hair. I’ve been waiting a long time for this match and finally I get to go one on one with the spooky one.
Iris: Remember that time he lost to Chris KO?
Justin: I do remember that! He lost to Chris KO and then a few months later why he was off hiding in shame, I beat Chris KO. One of the easiest victories of my entire career. With the world on my shoulders I climbed to the top of the mountain like a hero in a story and saved everyone from Chris KO. The pain of having to watch him pander to the crowd only to be rejected time after time was growing annoying rather quickly. He tried his best to get people to like him but being around Ty, who has the personality of a gold fish must have ruined him forever. Try as I might to make Chris more entertaining it was all for nothing. He had been ruined by Ty and his spooky ways. Come to think of it, a lot of guys have the spooky thing going for them. What a bunch of lame ducks.
Iris: They do love the spooky characters.
Justin: Spooky characters are fine in moderation but you can only have so many evil overlords running around before you turn to the drink. Ty is probably the worst of the bunch because of the Apostles of Chaos. Worst faction ever. Really horrid stuff if you actually go back and watch it. He's running around being all bad boss man and then he wins the Lethal Lottery, loses to Kurtesy and then gets buried by Chris. That very well may have been the hardest few months of my life trying to stay a fan of this company while that was going on. Alas, I did. I stuck true to WZCW and now I have the opportunity to make that bastard pay for putting me through some of the worst television I have ever. He will be punished, so it is... what's his catchphrase again?
Iris: Something has been written and someone pass me the ball?
Justin smiles and leans back on the couch as the author tries to find a way to end this story.
Justin: It doesn't matter. I'm sure he'll say a bunch of rehashed dark and spooky things while sitting inside a burning circle. It all sounds the same and it's all just as stupid. You're not a damn wizard, mate. You're a old guy with to much eyeliner. Get over yourself. Just wait until you see the beating I put on Ty this week. I warned him that I wasn’t someone he could disrespect but yet he did it anyway. He put his hands on me like I was nobody. I’m a former champion and I will be respected. I will have my day and I will beat Ty Burna just like I did Chris KO. I will beat him.
I know I can.
I think I can.
I must.
Can I?
Justin: Zoom! Arrrrgggghh! Zoom!
Such fun.
The former Elite X and Mayhem Champion (twice!) was having the time of his life as he pushed the toy car around the track. It was a black car with yellow stickers on the side. Those stickers likely gave it increased speed as stickers are known to do that.
Justin: Coming to the final turn of the race now and Justin Cooper is in the lead once again. Wait a second, who is that coming up to challenge the leader?
While using his right hand to push the car, Justin turned back and began pushing a loaf of bread. He didn’t have another car, alright! Even the bread wasn’t the best choice as it was stale.
Justin: It’s Ty Burna racing up behind Justin!
For those of you wondering, yes, the bread is stale because Ty Burna is stale. That’s the joke. Duh.
Justin: Oh no, Ty Burna is slipping he’s gone off the race course! Ty Burna has been KOed!
Justin laughed as he threw the bread over his shoulder. He turned back to his car and pushed it over the finish line, cheering loudly as he achieved victory in this fantasy race.
Justin: The crowd goes wild. Aaaaaaah. Thousands cheering like crazy, it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Cooper! Cooper! Cooper!
These fantasy people were going wild for him. Justin stood up and began waving to the crowd. It was like he could see the jam packed race course with thousands of fans supporting him. This was his moment, he jumped it the air and pumped his fist... only to land on the car he had just been playing with. Crunch.
Oh shit.
Justin: Oh shit.
He looked down and underneath his boot was the toy car split in half. He had broken it.
Justin: Iris is going to kill me.
A twist! Somebody call the press. Get those people from Spotlight on this right now.
You see this wasn’t Justin’s toy car. Oh no, this belonged to Iris. Now Iris had told Justin not to play with his toy car because Justin had broken the last one Iris owned. That warning was not taken to heart by Justin so off he went and did the same damn thing again.
Justin: Umm... I can fix it.
Frantically Justin raced in and out of his bedroom. Each time he entered with a new way of fixing the toy car. It was split into two pieces so he attempted to tape it back together but it kept falling back into two parts. He tried using glue but it just dripped all over the floor. He grabbed super glue but all that did was glue his hands together. Nothing was working. Justin couldn’t fix it.
Justin: I can’t fix it.
What was he going to do? Tell the truth? Justin pondered his options. He looked down at the toy car and then sprang into action. In one swift motion he pushed the toy car and all the other stuff used for the race course under his bed. He removed any trace that this activity ever occurred. Justin then sat down on the edge of his bed. He had done the wrong thing but Iris must never know. As he sat there thinking of ways he could continue to cover this up, the front door opened and Iris entered the apartment.
Iris: Justin! The shows about to start. I’m going to change and I’ll meet you down in the lounge room in five minutes.
Justin: Gotcha! I’ll be right there.
He had a chance right there to tell him. Justin was on edge about this situation. Could telling the truth be the best course of action?
Justin: I can’t tell him. He’ll be furious and if I cover it up he’ll never know and I will never be in trouble. Yes, that’s the way to go. Lies will fix everything. I don’t want to make him upset either. He’ll be so sad if he finds out I broke his car. Yeah, best for everyone if I don’t tell Iris.
Justin stood up having convinced himself he was doing the right thing. He exited the bedroom and went downstairs to join Iris.
^^^
We join the boys in the lounge room of the apartment. They’re sitting watching television with Justin not making eye contact with Iris at any point during their quick conversations during the ad breaks. A few minutes later what sounds like an ending theme to an old sitcom begins to play, Iris grabs the remote and begins turning down the volume on the television.
Iris: You know I really do love me some old sitcoms.
Justin: Really? How interesting. Look I gotta go-
Iris: I especially love those episodes which are filler. The ones that don’t really advance an overall storyline but rather just deal with a basic one episode plot. Those were the best.
Justin: Yep. Nothing like some filler before a big episode like a special.
Iris nods his head.
Iris: It’s also great for character development of the secondary characters that appear alongside the main characters in major storylines. But back to the sitcoms, as a kid I loved watching them. It’s why I watch them now as they remind me of home and family. My mother worked long hours so it was the only time I got to spend with her. We would talk about the message of the episode after it aired since a lot of these filler sitcom episodes had a social message behind their plot.
Justin: Life lessons are best learned from fictional characters on the television.
Iris: That reminds me about something I needed to discuss with you.
Justin: What would that be?
Iris: You and Mark have got to get back on the same page. Recently it’s not working out as well as it was before you guys started going up against Ty.
Justin: Cause he’s always cheating! Ty doesn’t have to follow the rules. The same goes for Constantine and Abel last week. I clearly need a few moments to gather my thoughts but Abel thinks it’s acceptable to go right ahead and hit me with his finisher. Rude.
Iris stares up at the roof before smacking his hand on his forehead.
Iris: We can’t worry about last week. We just we to get you back on track with Mark. Together you’re just as strong as Ty and El Caidos. You’ve just got to get on the same page.
Before Justin can reply, a knock at the door can be heard. Justin walks over the door, peering through the little hole at eye level to see who it is. Our hero smiles, he turns back to Iris and whispers.
Justin: It’s friendly neighbour Joe. Let’s see what he wants.
Justin opens the front door revealing neighbour Joe! An applause track, one similar to those heard in the old sitcoms, plays as Joe enters the apartment.
Iris: Joe, so good to see you.
Joe: Howdy. It’s nice to see you boys again.
Justin: How you been?
Joe: Unfortunately, not so well at the moment.
Iris: Oh no, anything we can do to help?
Joe: You see, the wife and I are having our wedding anniversary today so I decided to have her wedding ring cleaned. I’ve gone and lost the damn thing somewhere at home and I can’t find it. Boys, would you help me find it?
Our heroes lock eyes and exchange a manly nod.
Justin: Of course we will help you. We will find the ring and you will have an excellent anniversary.
Iris: What if we can’t find it? Have you thought about telling her?
Joe: I can’t tell her. She’ll be furious.
Iris: What does she think happened to the ring at the moment?
Joe: She still thinks it’s getting cleaned. I lied to her to stall and give me some more time.
Iris: Do you really think telling lies is the best option right now? If you’re honest with her she might understand. You’ve got to be honest from the start otherwise you end up stacking more and more lies on the original and that can cause more harm than the original mistake.
Joe seems to be understanding what Iris is saying. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a mobile phone.
Joe: I’m going to call her right now and tell her the truth.
Suddenly Justin leaps over and smacks the phone out of Joe’s hand.
Justin: Don’t be stupid Joe. She’ll be furious. You said it yourself. A little lie in this situation is fine until you fix it. You don’t want to make her mad on her wedding anniversary do you?
Joe: Well no, not really.
Justin: Good. We’ll go to your apartment and find the ring without ever having to tell your wife anything. That’s the best option.
Iris: I dunno.
Justin: Trust me Iris.
Joe: But we only have until 6 PM. That’s the time I booked the dinner for. We’ll have to find it before then.
Will the boys be able to find the missing ring before the deadline or will Joe be forced to tell his wife the truth? Have you figured out the life lesson yet?
^^^
Four hours have elapsed since neighbour Joe first arrived at the apartment of Iris and Justin. Not much progress has been made to be honest. We now find ourselves at Joe’s house and the place has been turned upside down!
Wait, that’s just the camera. Give me a second.
(Flips camera right way up)
We are back. Anyway, the cupboards have been emptied and the couches have been flipped over. The table is leaning against the wall as Justin peers down the cracks of the wall trying to find this ring. Iris is in the bathroom with his hand down a pipe trying to feel for the missing ring. Joe running up and down the halls as the deadline approaches fast, searching for the ring and getting dressed at the same time.
Joe: Any luck yet?
Iris: No.
Justin: Nothing over here.
Joe collapses down onto the floor. He can’t believe his luck.
Joe: We’ll never find it. It’s gone forever and my wife will never forgive me.
Justin: Looks that way.
Iris: Justin!
Justin: What? It’ll take him twenty minutes to get to the restaurant so we’ll have to leave soon. If we haven’t found it by now I doubt we’re going to find the thing at all.
Iris shakes his head at Justin with a clear look of frustration on his face. He then turns to Joe and places a hand on his shoulder.
Iris: We might not find it but you can still save this from being a total failure. Be honest with your wife and tell her what happened. I’m sure she’ll understand.
Justin: Bullshit. Nobody ever understands mistakes. Take what Ty Burna did to me two weeks ago. I saved my rookie tag partner and I get hit with his kick to the face as a thank you. I was doing something kind and that’s what I get in return. Had I just stayed in the corner nothing would have happened to me.
Iris: Honesty is the best way to approach things like this. Tell your wife the truth or even your tag partner. Deal with the issues instead of going to insane lengths to cover it all up.
Joe: You’re right. I’m going to tell her the truth.
Justin: I told Ty Burna the truth and look how far that got me. Now I’m stuck facing him on Meltdown this week. Oh, spooky guy going to do his spooky thing and I’ll probably get hit that the same stupid kick again.
Iris: Don’t worry about him. We’ll go with you to the restaurant and you can tell your wife the truth.
The search has ended and now we approach our final destination. Justin can’t believe what is about to happen, Iris is pleased but Joe is the most nervous of the three. How will his wife react?
^^^
The dinner is about to begin and Joe is seated with his wife. Our loveable duo are standing behind him as his wife looks very upset across the table. She’s all dressed up for the special occasion but the lack of wedding ring is clearly causing her a great deal of pain.
Joe’s Wife: I don’t know where I put it. It’s just vanished.
Cry, cry, cry.
Joe: Honey, I have something to tell you. I lost the ring.
Joe’s Wife: You did what? I’ve been worrying all about, blaming myself and it was you who lost my ring? What the hell is wrong with you?
Justin: I told you! Never admit your wrong!
Joe: I was going to tell you but I was afraid you’d be furious.
Joe’s Wife: You bet your ass I’m furious.
Joe: I was trying to get it cleaned. I was doing something nice. To make this evening even more special.
Joe’s Wife: Then why lie about it? You could’ve told me what happened but instead you let me feel bad all day.
Joe realises by lying he has made the situation even worse than it had to be. He reaches out his hand and grabs his wife’s. They look into each other’s eyes and...
Nobody came to read this nonsense.
All is well with the couple and now we can cut to the good part.
If you want heart-warming boring stuff just wait for the other guy. He’ll write about kid with the weird name.
^^^
Having saved the day, Iris and Justin find themselves back in the apartment where it all started. Iris and Justin are once again sitting on the couch, this time enjoying a bowl of chips. Both men look exhausted, as you would expect, having just saved a marriage.
However the experience seems to have made an impact on Justin. He turns to Iris and taps him on the shoulder.
Justin: I’ve got something to tell you.
Iris: Wait, I’ve got something to show you first.
Iris pushes himself off the couch, he heads upstairs for a moment and comes back down with a box. It’s wrapped up so we don’t know what’s in it yet but I’m sure we’ll find out within the next thirty seconds before I’m getting sleepy and don’t want to drag this out longer than I have to.
Iris: Here you go.
Justin takes the box and begins tearing away the paper.
Justin: Oh...
It’s a toy race car!
Iris: So now you don’t have to borrow mine all the time.
Justin: I can’t accept this.
Iris: Why not?
Justin: Earlier today I accidentally broke your race car. I tried to fix it but I couldn’t. After everything that happened today it’s clear that I should have been honest with you from the beginning. So, here, keep it for yourself. I’m sorry.
Iris: Thank you. See honesty feel good.
Justin: Yeah. And honestly I can’t wait to kick Ty Burna right in his cake face this week. Smudge that eyeliner up a little and ruin his hair. I’ve been waiting a long time for this match and finally I get to go one on one with the spooky one.
Iris: Remember that time he lost to Chris KO?
Justin: I do remember that! He lost to Chris KO and then a few months later why he was off hiding in shame, I beat Chris KO. One of the easiest victories of my entire career. With the world on my shoulders I climbed to the top of the mountain like a hero in a story and saved everyone from Chris KO. The pain of having to watch him pander to the crowd only to be rejected time after time was growing annoying rather quickly. He tried his best to get people to like him but being around Ty, who has the personality of a gold fish must have ruined him forever. Try as I might to make Chris more entertaining it was all for nothing. He had been ruined by Ty and his spooky ways. Come to think of it, a lot of guys have the spooky thing going for them. What a bunch of lame ducks.
Iris: They do love the spooky characters.
Justin: Spooky characters are fine in moderation but you can only have so many evil overlords running around before you turn to the drink. Ty is probably the worst of the bunch because of the Apostles of Chaos. Worst faction ever. Really horrid stuff if you actually go back and watch it. He's running around being all bad boss man and then he wins the Lethal Lottery, loses to Kurtesy and then gets buried by Chris. That very well may have been the hardest few months of my life trying to stay a fan of this company while that was going on. Alas, I did. I stuck true to WZCW and now I have the opportunity to make that bastard pay for putting me through some of the worst television I have ever. He will be punished, so it is... what's his catchphrase again?
Iris: Something has been written and someone pass me the ball?
Justin smiles and leans back on the couch as the author tries to find a way to end this story.
Justin: It doesn't matter. I'm sure he'll say a bunch of rehashed dark and spooky things while sitting inside a burning circle. It all sounds the same and it's all just as stupid. You're not a damn wizard, mate. You're a old guy with to much eyeliner. Get over yourself. Just wait until you see the beating I put on Ty this week. I warned him that I wasn’t someone he could disrespect but yet he did it anyway. He put his hands on me like I was nobody. I’m a former champion and I will be respected. I will have my day and I will beat Ty Burna just like I did Chris KO. I will beat him.
I know I can.
I think I can.
I must.
Can I?
- Status
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