Feedback your own RP

[Lee]

Titus

Since I've given feedback to everyone else I thought I'd go through my own RP.

A bit of background, I've had this idea for a year to do what I did in my RP. Titus has existed since 2000 through backyard wrestling and since 2007 in WZCW. He's done a lot of things, but he's never done this.

I had the idea to do it and thought ala Chris Jericho where he vanishes, appears, people love him then suddenly he's heel. that's why Bruce Irwin came in, I regret not putting as much effort in with him but I knew he was a stop gap. That being said the last year I've moved house, had four aunts/uncles die, got promoted, had a kid from my Sunday School get a brain tumour and get a girlfriend so my focus wasn't on Bruce.

I decided to bring Titus back before LL so I could get into the habit of writing him again.

The idea of the RP was that a lot of people are new to the fed over the last year who may have heard of Titus but not know him. It's for that reason I went with the history side of things to reintroduce the character. I have also made subtle changes through the previous RP's I've done for him showing a bit more of ruthless streak for him.

One part of the RP I changed and ended putting in was when Mick mutters under his breath. He'd obviously think this but there's no way of conveying that. If re-writing I'd probably have Titus just question him later on (as he did).

Now about Mick, the name comes from me just saying he was a Man In the Crowd which I noticed was Mic. One person thought it was a reference to Mike Killam, it's not.

I've always done descriptions in bold but reading through so many RP's over the last few days I think it looks better just normal non-formatted. I'll change this for future.

As Showtime said I should have added a slight more to the end such as Titus pouring a drink or something. Description has never been my strong point.

I liked the build up of the RP and the delivery which shocked people. I had a lot of rep for the RP including one person saying "I was getting mad reading this. Unbelievable.". I have debated whether to do the heel turn or not (you'll find out the decision soon enough) but I was worried in case this wasn't well received. It was, thankfully.

I think I'll have a decent showing in the LL, whilst I don't think I'll win it'll be good to put Titus back on the map and remind people that I can RP well when focused.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Theron

So, I have begun taking Theron in an even more religious direction this cycle and this round I literally dove right in to that side of the face spectrum. I had planned no matter who I faced this cycle for Theron to visit the Lake of Revival. Two outlines for an RP existed this round. Had he been placed in the Lottery instead then it would have started out the same, but then a gauntlet of facing 29 different monsters would have followed. I might hold onto that one for next year.

Anyway, this went through some revising along the way. I originally wanted to use Twilight Princess' Sacred Grove theme but then as I was editing something did not feel complete. I then went through my video game music playlist and thought to use The Prophet from Lufia 2, but it was too short for this RP. Upon searching a little more I tried The Lost World from the same game. This clicked and fit perfectly in my mind for the praying scene as well as Theron crying out to Mystra for rebirth. This happens on many rounds, looking through my playlist for just the right song to include.

I've mentioned the Tome of Mystra a lot over the last two years, but this was one of my first times to include legitimate verses. 2nd Conjuration and Evocation are named after 2nd Corinthians and Ephesians from the real Christian Bible. Theron is reading from a Bible in "real life", but he sees everything in D&D, so thus it turns into a Mystrian Tome with books named after D&D terminology. I am wanting to use more deities than just Mystra, so I re-introduced Kaleesta's deity Tyr who has not really been mentioned in about a year. Tyr and The Triad will likely be referenced more in coming rounds.

The butterfly was my attempt at making a statement at the end, but a different one. Theron has destroyed statues, paintings, bookshelves, and crystallized replicas in other rounds. This was a different type of statement, one of coming change, much resembling Theron's new religious persona. A new season in life for Theron, as well as a new season for the fed if he wins. Whether I won or not, I went all out this round and had fun writing it. Other than that, I've followed my recent formula of relevant flashbacks for PPV rounds. Kirilah and Kaleesta's visions from the very beginning of the cycle came to fruition, if you look back on my Roulette Round they both had visions from their deities that Theron had something big coming up, then this round I intended to write toward the fulfillment of those visions.

I already have a couple of potential RP storyline paths for Kingdom Come so I hope you guys enjoyed the RP as well as this feedback on why I wrote it the way I did.

 

[Lee]

I forgot to add, I didn't mention the match itself and that was something I should have done.

I would have gone with Titus saying he'll win the match to prove he's not past it, to show what he can do. I'd avoid the cliches (it's something I made sure to do in the RP) but put the focus on the big match.

That being said I think the LL is the only match you can get away with just advancing a storyline.