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Q. You've been with the company for a few years now and did quite a lot. How do you rate your WZCW career?
A. Unfinished. In terms of achievements S.H.I.T is not entirely lacking, in terms of high profile feuds and opponents there are an inexcusable amount that this one has never crossed paths with in a meaningful way. Though it has a few memorable moments, its rivalries and friendships with Barbosa and Alhazred chief among them, S.H.I.T can't help but feel that with the talent and opposition that has come in and out of the door the opportunities missed; Showtime, Titus, Steven Kurtesy, Drake Callahan, Steven Holmes, Ty Burna, Rush, Hunter S. Kravinoff, Action Saxton and Saboteur and many more. Perhaps the only real memorable interactions that will be talked about for years to come were the previously mentioned Barbosa and Alhazred.
Who is going to remember that S.H.I.T is 1 - 1 with Chris K.O. or 2 -2 with John Constantine? Or that its poor Elite X run was ended by one of Matt Tastic's many alter egos? Or that it has defeated nearly every top competitor in this business in basically throw away matches? In the beginning those stats would be more important to S.H.I.T, but now perhaps it is time to think about legacy, especially in comparison to others who have been around for a similar amount of time.
Q. You are a multiple Champion in WZCW, do you feel you get enough credit for being such a talent?
A. Whenever Scaled Humanoid Industrial Technology is mentioned by others, it is mentioned as one of the competitors others fear. It is mentioned as one of the best. Often it is a case of S.H.I.T living up to the credit and ideals others have for it. If anything, the achievements don't match the credit.
Q. Speaking of credit, I have to give you credit for an awesome feud with Cerberus; it has reinvigorated the tag division. So I have to ask, how has feuding with Cerberus been from your personal stand-point?
A. Cerberus have been a true test, the kind S.H.I.T was built for, the kind it and Alhazred thrive on. They've forced S.H.I.T to play games it is not used to, before it was simple "submit or be destroyed" but now, with a partner to factor in as well, it realises the importance of the mental game. Perhaps we took our eyes off the ball, perhaps we didn't factor them as big enough threats, perhaps they were just better on the night. However, if Cerberus think they've rid themselves of Hard Metal Penetration, they have it all wrong.
Q. I guess in the same vein, what lies in the future for S.H.I.T and even for HMP as a team?
A. Many more crushing victories. More mayhem, more violence, more vulgarity. More chainsaws!
Q. A lot of people have emailed asking me to ask you one question; is it your overall goal to be the World Champion in WZCW?
A. Affirmative. It is the highest available honour. This one has beaten many champions, but to become the Champion is something else entirely.
Q. If you had to have a match with any current superstar, who would it be?
A. This one owes the trifecta of Mikey Stormrage, El Swago and Matt Tastic a prolonged time in the Industrial Strength Vice, and a Piston Chop to Chris K.O and John Constantie. But this ones pick would be the more obvious choice of Ty Burna, he has tasted the Piston Chop and S.H.I.T has eaten Consecrated Banishment, but the one on one has never happened.
Q. And what about past superstars?
A. Showtime! There is no one that S.H.I.T esteems higher.
Q. How do you feel about the current crop of superstars?
A. Tough. Perhaps not at the level of one or two years ago, but there is the potential to fill the void left by the large number of big name absentee's among the newer faces. This one hopes many can have careers as storied, though this one remains to dent them at any opportunity.
Q. Who do you think will main event Kingdom Come 7?
A. S.H.I.T and Alhazred. If by some criminality they don't, then its hard to look past Theron Daggershield among the newer faces and perhaps John Constantine from the dependable ones.
Q. Who should go into the Hall of Fame 2015?
A. S.H.I.T's good friend Barbosa. Failing that, someone who helped shape WZCW. Steamboat Ricky, perhaps.
S.H.I.T, it has truly been an honour to share an interview with you. I have to wish you all the best with Cerberus and your other pursuits. Everyone around here thinks a great deal of you. Is there anything you would like to share with everyone reading?
What you cannot destroy with your fists you can destroy with high density lazers! Adaptability is key, adapt well enough and you can destroy anything!
WZCW World Title: Ty Burna vs. Matt Tastic
Tastic is defending after he and his Live Mas partner Mikey Stormrage have been having issues with Ty's Elite stable (think the Main Event Mafia but minus the sweet suits). The champ is quickly punched in the jaw and put in a straitjacket (the hold, not the jacket. This isn't a Russo match). Ty's straitjacket suplex doesn't work as Matt flips out (he is a luchador after all, giving him the power of flippiness), only to duck a Consecrated Banishment (sweet goodness he's starting early tonight).
Tastic charges into a Downward Spiral, which is called a reverse STO as I'm assuming the announcer is a Matt Striker fan. That's good for two and Ty is getting frustrated, likely due to the store running out of his hair product. Ty stomps away and drops knees to the neck before going for the straitjacket again. The champ finally remembers he's good at this wrestling thing and rolls into a backslide for two, only to get caught in five straight rib breakers. Dude, mix that stuff up.
We hit a backbreaker hold only to have Ty let go and throw Matt to the floor due to reasons of cockiness. Matt is whipped hard into the barricade but he pulls Ty face first into it as well ala La Parka vs. Steiner back in 99. Back up and Ty tries to send him into the post, only to have Matt slide in for a quick baseball slide, setting up a suicide dive to knock Burna into the post in a nice sequence. They head back inside where the Headache Driver and Consecrated Banishment both miss but Matt plants him with the Skullbuster.
That's not enough for the Screw Attack though as Ty rolls away and puts on the Harbringer's Omen (who names these things???). It's only good for two arm drops though as Matt rolls to the ropes and gets out to the floor. Ty follows but misses a charge over the announcers' table. Matt slides back in but Ty is right behind him, throwing in one chair to distract the referee and bringing in another to go after the champ.
Matt charges at him like a schmucky face, allowing Ty to FINALLY hit Consecrated Banishment, just as the referee turns around and sees him holding a chair. Thankfully he doesn't call for the bell as I would be able to hear Jesse Ventura ranting from here. Instead he drops Matt again with another Consecrated Banishment and goes to yell at the referee. The distraction lets our hero blast him in the back with the first chair, giving Ty the DQ win.
Rating: C-. Final Consecrated Banishment count: 2/4, or the fewest I've seen him throw in a single match. This felt more like a TV main event than a PPV title match, but it felt like a way to set up a rematch down the line. Given how this show isn't the biggest event of the year, that's really not surprising. Annoying but not surprising. The rib work going nowhere was annoying but maybe that Harbinger thing was a rib hold (it's not on his character page so it's not clear).
Post match Ty no sells the chair shot and they start brawling with Matt getting the better of it. So Matt's hands are stronger than chairs? You mean he's more powerful than the local luchador? The rest of the Elita and La Armada come out for the pull apart brawl. I smell WarGames, or at least I should.
Tag Team Titles: Hard Metal Penetration vs. Cerberus
HMP won the belts at Kingdom Come and the rematch is closing the next pay per view. That's some interesting booking. Also interesting is that this is I Quit elimination rules. You don't hear that one too often. Cerberus comes out in wolf masks. Shouldn't those be dog masks? In case you're new at this, Cerberus is Ramparte and Flex Mussel while HMP is S.H.I.T. (called George here as I don't want to have to keep typing that) and Alhazred.
We're ready to go.....but we don't have any champions. Instead we get a backstage guy named Backstage Bob (is that in case he gets lost? Please return him to the backstage?), but a white van drives through the set. George is driving and opens the door to reveal a bunch of ninjas playing poker with Samoa Joe. Wait sorry. That's the wrong tape. Ah yes it's Alhazred and a bunch of weapons. HMP climbs on top of the van with the titles, but Cerberus comes up and surrounds them. Well as much as two people can surround a van.
In the only move anyone with a brain could expect, the champions dive off the van to take Cerberus down. Seriously, how could they not have seen that coming? They fight down to ringside with the champs in control and sending Cerberus into the steps as we finally get the opening bell. HMP takes them inside for some stomping in the corner before switching off to keep things interesting. It's time to get some weapons though as Alhazred goes to the van for some kendo sticks.
George uppercuts Ramparte down as Alhazred throws him a stick. The champs take turns blasting Flex before Ramparte comes over, only to get a beating of his own. Alhazred slaps on a sleeper with the stick in hand but Ramparte finally does something right by charging at them both and knocking the hold out. It's George breaking up a choke this time before he hammers Ramparte in the back with forearms and stick shots.
Back inside, George puts Ramparte in a surfboard with Alhazred adding in kendo stick shots to the ribs. It's not enough for a submission so, like every idiot in wrestling before them, they let go of the hold and try something new. Dude, hit him in the face or below the belt until he gives up. Why is that so complicated? They head to the van and bring out a big table, which they slide into the ring as many other nitwits have before them. Back to the van for a ladder and a backpack. I get nervous around those things.
They get back inside and set up the table with Alhazred unloading what appears to be a jar of pickle juice. Oh geez it's a running joke. As expected, it takes far too long to set everything up and the challengers fight up with kendo stick shots and knees to the back. They slap an abdominal stretch on George with Ramparte adding in some kendo stick shots as Flex uses his muscles to crank on the hold. That fitness system seems to be paying off.
It's still not enough to make him give up though, namely because it's a freaking abdominal stretch and it's not 1958. Alhazred gets back up and knocks the stick out of Ramparte's hand, setting up a White Russian legsweep (ECW is dead. Let it go) before punching Flex in the heart to break up the hold. I guess he likes to hurt people (ten points if you get that reference).
Now it's time to go back to the table with Alhazred tying Flex on top with the restraints attached, and pulling out a hammer. He nails Mussel in the ribs, likely cracking them up into several pieces. That's not enough though so let's put the claws of the hammer in Flex's nose. Sure why not. With that not working, it's time for.....oh geez. It's time for expired pickles, with Alhazred shoving one in Flex's mouth and holding his nose as the match is suddenly unfunny comedy.
Ramparte gets back up and saves his partner, allowing Flex to vomit a bit. Flex is freed now and throws Alhazred outside before Ramparte ties George in the Tree of Woe. Some Daniel Bryan style kicks have the robot in trouble and now it's time for the water and health bars! Flex eats one of his own and shoves another down Ramparte's throat as this is REALLY needing to get back to the serious stuff. Also, shouldn't Flex be seeing a doctor for his ribs and nose? Or at least selling the things in between chewing?
Instead he goes and gets some protein shake powder from his bag. With Alhazred on the table, Flex puts a towel over his face and pours the water and powder onto the towel, simulating waterboarding. It's a great looking spot, but the protein powder takes away a lot of the impact. With this going nowhere, Alhazred gets put in the Tarantula hold and it's time to water board the robot. In the Chris Benoit role at WarGames 1997, Alhazred gives up to save his partner.
Alhazred goes to check on his partner but gets attacked by Ramparte, who chokes him with the kendo stick. That earns the threat of a forfeit from the referee so Ramparte lets him go, allowing Alhazred to leave to a standing ovation and sends us to a new post as this is a longer match than I was expecting.
The laughing dog enthusiasts don't notice George getting up and pulling a pipe out of Alhazred's bag. George nails both guys with shots to the ribs (maybe Flex will actually sell this one) before sending both of them out to the floor. He heads up top for a big pipe shot to the head but Flex shoves his partner out of the way to take the shot himself. Ramparte freaks out and lays a beating on George before failing to get his partner up.
We go back to the kendo sticks with George taking another beating but he takes one too many steps, allowing George to take the kendo stick away and pull Ramparte down into a YES Lock with the stick. With Ramparte passing out but not giving up, George lets go (again, stupid. A knockout almost always is the same as giving up and if that's not the case here, it's not made clear) and goes to find some cable ties. He attaches Ramparte to the ropes and heads back outside to go after Flex.
By go after, I mean driving the van and squashing Flex between the apron and the hood of the van. That's quite the extreme move, though I still don't think Flex is going to sell the ribs. It's back to Ramparte now with George pulling out a chainsaw and a book about dissecting. Somewhere in the background we have Bugs and Daffy exchanging one liners as this is officially a cartoon. Ramparte gives up and, just to confirm my suspicious about this being a cartoon, the chainsaw is revealed to be a candy dispenser. WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A CANDY DISPENSER THAT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING CHAINSAW???
Somehow Flex has moved the van away and nails George with the pipe to take over again as we're down to one on one with Ramparte leaving. Mussel bridges the ladder between the barricade and the back of the van before pulling George onto the hood for an attempted Neutralizer (why not just flip the off switch?). That goes nowhere as it's hard to lift a robot. It would be even harder with busted up ribs but that's not a problem for Flex.
George backdrops his way out of it, sending Flex onto the windshield ala Austin at In Your House XIX. He heads up top for a flying headbutt (stupid move onto the hood of a car) but Flex rolls away, sending George through the glass windshield (I told you it was stupid). George still says no so Flex drags him to the top of the van (he can drag dead weight up there but he couldn't do a Neutralizer?) and hits a Neutralizer through the bridged ladder, which is FINALLY enough to make George give up.
Rating: B-. Here's the thing: this would be WAY higher if not for the comedy spots in the middle. I get that Flex isn't the most serious guy in the world, but you can't have both comedy and extreme violence in the same match in this order. The comedy stuff made me forget about the hammer shots and violence around them and it was hard to care about them again after the stuff with the pickle and protein powder. I get that it's Flex's thing, but either have him be a violent strongman or a comedy guy. It's REALLY hard to mix them in one match and it didn't work here.
The continuity wasn't great here either, but that's mainly due to not selling injuries. Like I harped on, Flex took a pipe to the ribs and a hammer to the ribs along with a hammer to the nose and didn't seem to notice. That kind of stuff drives me crazy.
Truman Harrys stands in the centre of the ring, ready for tonight’s main event. He puts his microphone to his lips and begins to speak.
Harrys: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.
The crowd lets out a brief cheer, realising this is tonight’s main feature; WZCW World Heavyweight Champion Big Dave vs. the recently returned John Constantine. As the cheer dies down, the sound of the Empire echoes throughout the arena.
[YOUTUBE]-bzWSJG93P8[/YOUTUBE]
Constantine enters the arena with a new found sense of confidence following his return. He is also encouraged by the vicious reception he is receiving from a hostile crowd. He lets out a small laugh before marching to the ring.
Harrys: Introducing first, from Washington D.C. and weighing 265 pounds; JOHN CONSTANTINE!
Constantine continues his approach to the ring as our two commentators let us in on their thoughts.
Cohen: Ah, here’s a man who knows how to get the job done. Here’s a man who could be a World Heavyweight Champion in the near future. Here’s a man who knows he’s better than most other men...
Copeland: Unfortunately for Constantine Dave isn’t most men.
The former politician is now stood centre of the ring, his head raised and an arrogant smile slyly crossing his face. He raises his arms as if to declare victory already a formality. This of course draws yet more hostility. That dissolves however as the reigning heavyweight champion of the world’s music hits.
[YOUTUBE]v_HlVcGKVG4&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]
Harrys: And his opponent, from London England, weighing 268 pounds, the WZCW World Heavyweight Champion; BIG DAVE!
Dave enters to a great response. The fans are 100% behind him here. He smirks from ear-to-ear and walks down the ramp, proceeding to the ring. There are still visible signs of the attack from Ty Burna and his Apostles of Chaos around his neck though.
Copeland: Big Dave has had an interesting couple of weeks for sure.
Cohen: Interesting one way to describe it. I’d call it an ass kicking personally, but I suppose it was interesting to watch Dave get destroyed at the hands of Ty.
Copeland: Don’t forget the role that steel chair played though Jack.
Dave is now stood tall on a turnbuckle with his championship raised high. He descends and stares directly into Constantine’s eyes. While the devious “Powertrip” smirks, Dave’s face remains stone cold as he hands over his championship. The referee puts the most sought after prize in WZCW out of the ring before calling for the bell to signal that we have begun. The two 260 pounders meet face-to-face in the centre of the ring. Constantine utters some sort of trash talking before Dave responds. Whatever the champion has said has obviously ticked Constantine off as the smile drops from his face. He slaps Dave hard across the face, before chuckling. Dave checks for blood before a loom of complete anger crosses his face. He smashes Constantine’s face with a vicious strike. The blow forces Constantine backwards into the ropes. Dave pursues his foe, but the devilish Constantine plays a little possum, lifting and then dropping Dave onto the top rope throat first. Dave clutches at his already damaged neck before Constantine bounces off of the ropes and nails a lariat. He’s quick into the cover. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Constantine in quick to his feet and stomps Dave multiple times, stopping only after a good six or seven. The D.C. resident raises his arms high in the air, taunting his foe and the fans in the arena.
Cohen: Thus far, Constantine has made Dave look like a complete amateur.
Copeland: I’m not sure if that’s entirely true, but Constantine is certainly firmly in control at this point of the match.
Constantine remains in control as we re-join the contest where Dave is now in position for a vertical suplex. It is delivered with the upmost elegance before Constantine floats over into a cover. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Constantine isn’t deterred though and is once more quickly to his feet. He stands over his enemy, again trash talking. This allows Dave to critically gain some time to rest and also opens Constantine for an attack. Dave hits a low kick to Constantine’s knee. This reduces Steven Holmes’ ally to one knee while Dave returns to his feet. Rather than follow up with a big kick to the back of the head as per the norm, Dave opts to unleash a snap suplex instead. He decides against a cover, deciding instead to return to his feet, Constantine in tow. Dave whips Constantine across the ring and into the ropes where he returns to be greeted by Dave’s powerslam. This time he goes for a cover. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Dave rubs his throat slightly before backing off of Constantine, allowing his opponent the opportunity to return to a standing position. Dave launches at Constantine with a spear, but the arrogant “Powertrip” counters with a flowing DDT!
Copeland: Stunning counter from Constantine there. He manages to get this one back on level pecking.
Constantine drapes his arm over Dave. 1...2...KICK-OUT! The crowd breathes a sigh of relief. Both men try to pull themselves to their feet, but it is Constantine who is up first. He looks to capitalise with Collateral Damage, but Dave manages to evade the finisher. He can’t avoid Constantine’s drop-toe-hold though which the ever-dangerous Constantine uses to drag Dave into an STF! Dave writhes in pain as he’s stuck in the centre of the ring with great pressure on his already damaged neck. He squirms in the centre and manages to move slightly closer to the ropes, but it’s nowhere near enough as Dave’s movements slow down. The crowd boo this development, but soon change their tune to one of hope and optimism as they chant for Dave to get back into the contest. Feeling the power of the people, Dave is partially reinvigorated, dragging not only his own body weight, but Constantine’s too. Dave is in agony, but he manages to guide himself to safety and latch onto the ropes. Constantine refuses to relinquish the move, but at the referee’s count of 4, he decides the risk of a disqualification is too great and gets off of Dave. As Dave finally gets a break, Constantine looks to further inflict punishment, something he does by lifting Dave off his feet and flinging him backward with a vicious fall-away slam. Constantine dusts his hands, signifying that he believes that it’s all over. 1...2...KICK-OUT! The man named John is surprised to say the least, as is Jack Cohen...
Cohen: What? How did that happen? Dave’s dead in the water.
Copeland: Not quite Jack. It looks like he’s got more left to give in this contest.
Constantine looks at the referee with a sense of disgust before returning his attentions to Dave. He lifts the longest reigning EurAsian Champion in history to his feet. Constantine signals it’s all over and goes for the Axis of Evil, but Dave reverses and lifts his enemy into position for the Stamp of Authority! Just as he looks to twist Constantine though, Dave takes a nasty looking elbow to the throat. He is forced to drop Constantine and check his injury, something Constantine has no problem taking advantage of as he applies a sleeper hold. This is countered immediately though and Dave drops Constantine with a big boot. Dave now has a chance to take his shot and that’s what he does, lifting and throwing Constantine into the turnbuckle. He runs, full-steam-ahead into his opponent, forcing him bounce out of the corner before falling onto his back. Dave bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop. Dave could go for a cover here, but instead opts to inflict more punishment and repeats the leg drop not once but twice. Following the third leg drop, Dave makes the cover. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Dave isn’t too surprised though and is quick to lift Constantine to his feet...only to drop him down again with a DDT. Again Dave’s motive is punishment and not victory and he points to the top rope to a great reaction. He exits the ring and ascends from the apron, up to the top. He adjusts himself before flying down and nailing the Money Shot! 1...2...KICK-OUT! Not enough damage has been done to Dave’s antagonist, though the kick-out was closer to three than Dave’s previous cover. With the ball firmly in Dave’s court, things take a turn for the worst for the heavyweight champion as three devious and dark beings make their way to ringside.
Copeland: Wait a minute! The Apostles of Chaos?
Cohen: Indeed. Looks like this terrible trio are looking to continue making their mark in WZCW!
Alhazerd, King and K.O. all approach ringside, and prepare to surround the ring when the trio of Steven Kurtesy, Action Saxton and Saboteur come in to even up the sides. As the trio’s pair off and fight with one another, the referee exits the ring, looking to restore order. This creates an opening for a slightly recovered Constantine who hits a low blow on Dave. Without removing his right arm, Constantine uses his left to pull at Dave’s tights and roll him into a schoolboy. As three new referees sprint down to ringside looking to restore order, the original official realises what’s going on in the ring, returning his attention to the pinning predicament. He makes the count. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Constantine is stunned and bitterly disappointed, but the crowd is going ballistic. Constantine gets in the referee’s face, signalling that was a 3, but the referee retorts with the signal for 2. At this point, with the carnage surrounding the ring continuing, a new party appears to aid Constantine.
Copeland: The odds continue to mount against Big Dave as Steven Holmes now makes his way into the contest!
Constantine signals at Holmes to discuss strategy, something the referee looks to stop. He steps between the two elitists, but his back is turned to Holmes, thus allowing him to slip a concealed object into Constantine’s palm. The referee takes no notice as Holmes backs off. He plays innocent, but the crowd knows otherwise as does Sam Smith, the newest player to storm down to ringside.
Copeland: Looks like the odds just got evened up.
Cohen: Yeah, but Holmes as already did his job by providing Constantine whatever that object was.
Smith tackles Holmes, and they start to brawl with one another. This distracts an official trying to separate Saxton and King, causing King to smash him across the face. Even more officials now enter the arena as Alhazerd and K.O. Follow King’s example and dispatch of their officials. Almost every referee is now surrounding ringside, trying to stop the carnage from continuing. However the match is still in progress as Constantine prepares to hit Dave with what is now apparently a pair of brass knuckles. Constantine loads up, but Dave manages to counter and for the second time in the match, has his opponent on his shoulders in position for the Stamp of Authority. Dave looks to set to hi the move when the arena is bathed in darkness.
Copeland: The lights going out can only signify one thing!
There is a brief pause before the lights return. There is no Ty Burna, but several of the officials from before have been taken down by the various athletes surrounding the arena. Constantine’s position has also changed. He is no longer on Dave’s shoulders, but on the mat, on his knees, with Dave having obviously released him from the move. The former tag team champion looks at the ramp as if expecting Ty Burna to appear, but he is nowhere to be seen. Dave turns around, but is met with a stunning right hand from John Constantine, the brass knuckles from earlier playing a role in their effectiveness for sure. Constantine makes the cover of the doomed Dave. 1...2...3!
Harrys: Here is your winner, JOHN CONSTANTINE!
Constantine’s music plays loud and proud as the crowd boos with great venom. They let Constantine know what they think of his victory. The victory is congratulated not by a warm hug though, but by a stiff shot to the face from Sam Smith who has quickly entered the ring. He can’t do any more damage however as Holmes stops him. As Holmes stomps away at Smith, the referee looks to interfere. Holmes shoves him into a now angered John Constantine who blasts him with the Axis of Evil. All officials are now down and out and the carnage continues as Holmes and Constantine begins to beat down Smith in the corner. Outside of the ring, The Apostles have gained the advantage over their enemies. Kurtesy takes the same devastating finisher as Gordito did last week on the floor; Taste of Chaos. Saxton is down and out with a chair lain across his body, the cameras failing to capture his demise while Saboteur is wrapped around the steel poll outside the ring.
Copeland: This is complete insanity. Somebody STOP THIS!
Cohen: And who would you suggest does that? The referees are all lain out around the ring and the “good guys” are down for the count.
As things looks equally as bleak for Sam Smith, Gordito sprints down and looks to get into the ring for the save. He avoids the Apostles and slides into the ring, where he takes it to Constantine. Realising that his partner is in trouble, Holmes clatters into his Ascension opponent. The pair beat down on Gordito, before seeing that the Apostles of Chaos are hungry for more. The arrogant duo in the ring nod at one-another and push the #1 contender to the outside for Ty’s apprentices to feed on. With Smith down and out and Gordito now in the hands of chaos, Holmes and Constantine turn their attention to Dave who is now starting to stir somewhat. Constantine blasts Dave with a second brass knuckles shot. This time cutting the champion open. Holmes lifts Dave to his feet where he throws him into The Axis of Evil. On the outside, the Apostles have gathered around Gordito and have begun to take turns inflicting punishment upon him. Eventually they tire of this paltry feast and decide to leave, exiting through crowd, climbing over the bodies that lay scattered across the ring. Back inside the ring, Holmes now has Dave in the Aristocracy Reigns. The blood of Dave flows freely and openly, turning Holmes’ fingers a crimson colour.
Copeland: This...this is just too much. I--I can’t watch this anymore. I may be sick. Please, just, somebody, stop this.
Holmes finally releases his hold after a few moments. He and Constantine raise one-another’s arms to extreme amounts of hostility with security being forced to hold several fans back from trying to attack Holmes and Constantine.
Cohen: Well, I guess I’ll be signing off tonight. We thank you for tuning in to this....eventful edition of Meltdown. I’ll see you tomorrow night on Ascension where I’m sure the bigwigs of WZCW will have some words for those two men you see stood in the ring. Goodnight.
We see a number of close-ups of the downed referees, Saboteur, Saxton, Kurtesy, Gordito, Smith and Dave before we fade to black.
[YOUTUBE]DH0BQtwEAsM[/YOUTUBE]
Static rules the screen, though we can hear some voices in the background. We can’t distinguish what they have to say or who in fact is saying what, but they are there. Suddenly there is a loud roar and the static flashes out of existence, a picture of clarity returning...sort of. We have a close-up of the ring apron of a WZCW ring. We hear huge cheers and boos mixed together, but one sound is strong above all. A song that symbolises the fall of an era. A song that brings with it the darkness of a new day. A song that singles the arrival of a king.:
[YOUTUBE]c18441Eh_WE&ob=av2e[/YOUTUBE]
Cohen: Are we back on? Tell me if we’re back on!
Copeland: Jack, we’re back!
Cohen: YES! And double yes with what’s about to happen.
The camera angle changes for the first time since we regained picture clarity. We have a close-up of the entrance ramp of the recently just concluded Meltdown. It finished a mere few moments ago, but already many have decided to leave the arena following the harrowing conclusion to the event. So abrupt is this resumption of the broadcast that bodies remain draped across the arena floor and Steven Holmes and John Constantine remain at ringside, in awe, like most of the arena as Barbosa, with the only remaining referee in WZCW alongside him, enters the arena.
Copeland: We apologise for interrupting your usually scheduled broadcast ladies and gentlemen, but Barbosa is cashing-in on Big Dave! I repeat, Barbosa is cashing-in his guaranteed World Heavyweight Championship match!
Cohen: And he’s practically guaranteed the win too!
Barbosa steps over the fallen bodies of a number of men before sliding into the ring to greet the already downed and destroyed Big Dave. Sam Smith is also in the ring, but not for long as Barbosa pushes him out. The referee takes the King for a Day briefcase from its holder and hands it to Truman Harrys, instructing him as to what’s happening. Barbosa ushers the referee to ring the bell.
Harrys: Ladies and gentlemen, Barbosa is cashing in his King for a Day briefcase!
There is another enormous roar from the audience with many scrambling to get back to their seats. Barbosa continues to demand Harrys and the referee hurry up, and with good cause as Big Dave, war wounds and all, is slowly coming around. Holmes and Constantine look at each other and nod before taking their leave, sneaking out the back door.
Harrys: Therefore, the following is for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Copeland: I can’t believe this!
Cohen: I CAN!
The referee calls for the bell and immediately Barbosa goes for a cover. 1...2...KICK-OUT! Barbosa is disappointed and stunned. The crowd is delighted.
Copeland: OH MY GOODNESS! DAVE KICKED-OUT!
Cohen: NO!
Barbosa tilts his head slightly with a dumbstruck look on his face. This slowly morphs itself into one pure rage and he lets out a bone chilling scream. He brings Dave to his feet before unleashing the Mood Stabilizer. Dave begins to fall flat onto his face, but Barbosa catches him and drops him down with the Doppelgänger! 1...2...3! There is another horribly mixed reaction as Barbosa rolls off the cover before stopping, motionless in the centre of the ring.
Harrys: Here is your winner...AND THE NEW WZCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION; BARBOSA!
The referee gets the championship and awards it to Barbosa who stares at it blankly for a few moment s before rising to his feet, holding it high and then letting out an almighty howl. He bashes his skull off of the championship on more than one occasion and stands tall on the turnbuckle, showing his new prize with tears in his eyes.
Cohen: This is quite possibly the single greatest moment of my broadcasting career. Big Dave is defeated and Barbosa triumphs!
Copeland: He--he--he’s won the gold in perhaps the most disgusting fashion in history.
Cohen: But he’s well within his rights you moron. That’s what King for a Day gifts him. And among the broken bodies and spirits, one man rises higher than any other. That man is Barbosa. The king is dead, long live the king!
As Barbosa stand high with Kylie playing in the background, the referee checks Dave, making sure he is okay. Medical staff begins to file down to the ring for the many injured.
Copeland: Well I suppose this is goodnight from a...a historic evening.
Cohen: Don’t say it like that Seabass. Say it loud and proud. Tonight was one for the history books and Barbosa is the king of all. Praise him!
We see one final shot of Barbosa on his knees within the ring, the championship pressed to his head before we cut to black abruptly once more, signalling the end of the broadcast.
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