Why do you complain so damn much?

[LSN80]

I figure it fits with the theme of the thread.....

[YOUTUBE]Yp1ZGW9MdbI [/YOUTUBE]

I have a friend that many of my friends, myself included, refer to as "The Natural Dissenter." When we say that, we're referring to his ability to take any positive situation and find the negative in it. Need an example? As I sit here typing this, we've been texting back and forth as we're both watching the Penguins/Bruins hockey game on TV. The Penguins, on an 8 game winning streak, lead the Bruins 4-2 in the third period, yet he's thoroughly unhappy. Me, Ive always been a fan of winning, style points not apply, but he's always felt it was more important how we play then whether we win.

I'm not using this as an outlet to talk about hockey, but rather to describe a mindset. My friend has always carried this mindset that no matter how much good is around him, things could always be better. And, to an extent, I agree with that! But there's something to be said with being satisfied with the good things in your life, and focusing on those things. My friend is simply incapable of that, as his focus is always on what's wrong. And it grates on me, and those around him. If he was someone I hadn't known my entire life, I probably would have left him behind years ago, but there's a sense of loyalty there. It's just the woe is me mentality, always looking at the negatives in life that I can't stand. And though our group of friends still includes him from time to time, we've phased him out in alot of ways. Most of us, including myself, don't bring our wives our girlfriends around him.

But in 'fessin up, I'm a complainer too. We all are, in one way or another. I can sit here and criticize my friend all I like, but it would be hypocritical of me if I didn't own up to my own shortcomings in that area as well. So, how does this affect me the most? My patients.

When I say patients, I refer to the people I see every day as their therapist. Why do I complain? When the patients I see aren't making progress. As a therapist, one of the first things I was taught was to never work harder then my client does, and it's a lesson I pass along to my staff. But not a day goes by that I don't break that lesson, and find myself complaining when I don't see progress out of my hard work. Often times, I neglect to see the areas in which these clients have improved, because they haven't improved to my liking, or with equity to the level of effort I've put in. And boy, does it get on people's nerves, mainly my staff. Sometimes it frustrates my wife as well, as even though I can't name names, I can give basics about cases. And although Ive worked on not getting as frustrated as I used to, I'm still greeted with the occasional "Why do you complain so damn much?" by my normally warm-hearted wife. And it's in those occasions. I realize she's right! She keeps me accountable when she's harsh in these rare moments, and Ive worked on it both with regards to my wife and my staff!

I'm sure we've all encountered these people in our lives, those people who always find something to complain about, and seem to suck the life and hapiness out of the room. And Im sure, at one point or another, we've been that person with regards to something. So, it's time to fess up. Because as wrestling fans who frequent this site, we're all prone to complaining from time to time.

Do you know or have any friends that are "Natural Dissenters?" How do you deal with them?

What do you complain too damn much about?

Does anyone hold you acountable about it? How so?

 

[Dagger Dias]

My mother-in-law is a natural dissenter. She's one of those people who finds the negative in any situation, no matter what. Then when she's having a bad day, she shares her "problem of the day" with everyone else so that they will have a bad day too. It's like she doesn't know how to be happy or something. I generally deal with it by letting people like that have their rant, and then carrying on with what I was doing. Sometimes people just need to rant if they are having a bad day or feeling negative. It doesn't bother me much unless I'm having a really bad day myself. Those who do it every day can get rather difficult to deal with. My wife's mother for example will call daily to complain about things and it gets on both of our nerves sometimes. We could be in the middle of something important and the phone rings, guess who it is? It's mom with the complaint of the day!

We all have things we complain about. When it comes to wrestling for me it's short title reigns. Say a world champion loses his title after a decent legnth of time to a challenger. The new champion holds it for a couple of days only to lose it back to the same guy he won the title from. What was the point of that? I complain about things like that every time it happens. Outside of wrestling I really only complain if I am being lazy. A big pet peeve of mine is that if I just got home or just sat down and within minutes I have to get up to do something else for someone, it really gets on my nerves and like clockwork I will complain about it. My wife has done a pretty good job of holding me accountable for complaints and calls me out on it if I get too negative about anything. I try to do the same for her in return because neither of us want to end up like her mother when it comes to complaining daily.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Do you know or have any friends that are "Natural Dissenters?" How do you deal with them?

Yeah, some of them are true naturals in the art of being negative. Sometimes, they're just people who like to complain and argue; examples of whom are often found on this wrestling forum, in which many people are intent only on arguing; they seldom take more than a cursory look at the post they're complaining about and usually wind up misinterpreting the post they chose to argue about in the first place.

Others are people who try to cover up the "complaining" aspect of their personalities by saying: "I'll play the Devil's Advocate" in a ploy to take the negative side of the discussion, while trying to make it seem as if they're adding a positive element. Usually, they aren't; it amounts to the same old bitching when you boil it down.

How do I deal with 'em? I give them enough rope to hang themselves. If they are people who constantly complain and see only the negative side of everything, I'll find reasons to spend less time with them. After awhile, I'll say something to let them know they're getting to be too much ("Hey, y'know, things are tough all over!")

Finally, it's bye-bye, baby. There are a lot of good things in the world and it pays dividends to occasionally look at them.

 

[LilacFray]

Do you know or have any friends that are "Natural Dissenters?" How do you deal with them?

Some. I tend to not hang around much with a person if he/she is quite the pessimist. The thing is that one of my closest friends complains a lot. Actually, she's either unimpressed or mad at any situation she's in. But she doesn't exactly complain about it... Sort of complicated - let's leave it at that. But yes, I come across people who're experts at complaining quite often. Mostly, I'd just let them talk about it and try to make them see things in a better light. If that doesn't work, I'd either tell them they're whingers or ignore them.


What do you complain too damn much about?

Hmm. When I start complaining, I go on and on and on. It's always about how I live so far away and have a horrible routine that I have to go through everyday. No outings with friends, no attending school events and all that. But until then, I'm that optimistic friend who looks at the bright side of everything possible, throwing random inspirational quotes around at anyone who could do with some.


Does anyone hold you acountable about it? How so?

I don't know, really. It's just a matter of me being able to just suck it up and tell myself that it's nothing, really. I usually come to a bursting point and vent to some friend of mine, and then keep going alright for some more months and then vent again. When I vent, my friends are just too nice to tell me I'm complaining a bit too much or anything. Maybe it's because I don't really complain. Or maybe it's because they don't want to piss me off.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Do you know or have any friends that are "Natural Dissenters?" How do you deal with them?

He's not as bad anymore, but my best friend used to be a major pain in the ass when it came to complaining about things that were easily remedied or avoidable. The main example being with money and his urge to spend money he didn't really have.
Through most of the time since we left school, I can't think of too many times when he hasn't been in debt to his parents. He's been keen on photography and got a top of the line Nikon. Just over a year or so later, a newer version came out and the urge to upgrade was strong, despite his claiming he had next to no money. Now Nikon's are great cameras and built to last, so I couldn't understand why he HAD to upgrade given how well his camera was still working. A few weeks later I was round at his and he was showing off the new camera, then the next night was starting to worry about how much it cost and the lack of income.
This has been a constant theme over the years, with things such as Macs, footwear, bikes, gigs, limited edition records/cds/dvds all popping up on his 'must-have' radar, with accompanying groans of dissention about having "no money" all following each new purchase. I understand certain things need to be replaced, and some items will be prized possessions, but responsibility has to kick in at some point. If you can't afford it and can get by without it, don't fucking buy it. Or if you do, don't then complain about the debt increasing.

What do you complain too damn much about?
Other people complaining and being stupid. I had to delete what I was originally writing about as it was just a rant about one of my friends essentially being a stupid tart but justifying it with bullshit "poor me" patter.

For the most part I'm pretty chilled and seem to give a laid-back aura to people, but I tend to think I'm like a duck on the pond in that regard. There are a lot of things that bother me, some of them are about my friends, some of them are about minor things I can't let go of, some of them are big concerns about the future. I don't always voice them and perhaps keep some surpressed more than I should, so I guess I should be thinking about complaining more.

 

[Miko]

I dunno about natural dissenter, but my dad is the king of Devils Advocate, someone will rant about something and he'll defend it, or they'll praise something and he'll blast it, this will go on, with my dad twisting this persons words, using them against him, until eventually, the other person will have completely reversed their opinion and start defending what they were previously attacking, with my dad now attacking what he was defending, until eventually they'll realise what is going on. He can do this with damn near anything, to nearly anyone, it is a work of fucking art to witness.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

Do you know or have any friends that are "Natural Dissenters?" How do you deal with them?

Believe it or not at first thought I had come to the conclusion that I myself am I natural dissenter. After second thought I passed that title over to my best friend, a teenage boy obsessed with what other's think of him.

Like most people our age, he lets his emotions get a hold of him at times, and of course it's usually negative emotions and it ends up biting him in the rear end. It's mostly when it comes to discussing other people that he becomes engrossed with negative feelings, and more that not passed it on to me. He sees most people as disliking them even if they had not met before, which is what for the most part is his specialty when it comes to being a natural dissenter. He assumes that others may find him to be rather undesirable (in more that one way ala; female attraction to him). It's not only when it comes to others opinions but also when we are just hanging out. It's not to the extent that he spews negative feelings out of him all the time, sometimes I wish he can be a littler more lighthearted contrary to myself who needs to be the darker personality.

What do you complain too damn much about?

Sports or physical activity in general. I have been in countless sport's league and only recently have I found one that I am actually good at (well decent). From the day I became a toddler to present day I have always sucked at, and complained whenever anything sport related comes up (with the exception of professional wrestling if you consider it a sport). I mostly go on annoying mode when I am obliged to watch a sporting a event or play one due to my dislike and dark past with athletic endeavors. More that not I actually end up enjoying myself and realize that my complaining was pointless yet I still do it the next time it comes around. I hold myself accountable for this, no one else causes it (they only make it worse) it just comes up from inside me.

 

[acailler]

What do you complain too damn much about? Work...I love my job but I hate my job at the same time. I have 6 BOSSES from 4 Different Charities! Everyone pays a portion of my salary...none of them can agree on anything but when I'm left to get on with it and when I see results of my labour, I love my job.

Does anyone hold you acountable about it? How so? See previous answer...Emails are both wonderful and annoying.